Are you effing kidding me?
Really?
How can you do that to your body?
To your psyche?
To your everything?
I don’t effing get it.
Yet…
I DO.
I get it because I use to do it too.
I did it so much that I grew comfortable with it.
It just became part of my norm.
And I did not see the bitterness and resentment that it engraved into my life,
into my relationship,
until it was too late.
I thought it was just how it was.
And that it was “okay.”
After all life is about compromise, right?
We cannot always have things our way,
and sometimes,
actually often,
we have to find a space that neither side gets what it wants and both give in to something that is doable to make the results the best they can be.
So, this is what I thought I was doing.
And I was.
And you are too!
But you want in on a little secret?
Not a secret, actually,
just a reality that you may not want t o hear because you may feel disgusting after you fully digest it.
In these times like I share here,
which happens to be all too many times in our lives.
In all areas of our life as I have discovered.
You are raping yourself.
Yes.
I just said that.
And I will say it again.
So happy f-cking Monday morn my peep’s!!!!
You are raping yourself.
You most likely are doing it right now.
Or you soon will be.
Or you will in a few hours or by the end of today.
Your raping yourself.
You are are bending over,
spreading yourself open,
saying “sure, that’s okay….yeah…yeah…let’s do this or that.”
You are believing that you have to do that in order to exist
You have to do it in order to keep peace,
in order to enjoy some rewards that you don’t believe you will have unless you give of yourself in this fashion.
You believe that if you were to say no.
To say I am not in the mood.
I am not turned on to this or that.
It does not feel good to me.
That actually hurts me.
I don’t like that at all.
I never get anything from this.
or…
some other statement of your lack of interest in it,
that you would loose something.
You are afraid that you would have life shut you down in some way.
You are afraid that if you stated your truth,
that you would not be received well,
and then that would hurt you more than just saying yes,
when you are a no.
So you say, ” Okay.. let’s do it! ”
And you figure, ” It’s just compromise. It’s just the way life is. You cannot have everything you want all the time. So what’s the harm is giving of yourself this time or the next when even though you really hate it, or are shut down to it?”
Whats the BIG effing deal?
Rape seems like a harsh term to use Kendal.
I am not raping myself!
I am just compromising.
I am just letting someone else use my body, my time, my energy, my money, my life for their pleasure. For their abundance building. for their goals and aspirations.
That is the way life works.
Have you not heard?
Sure I don’t feel great afterward.
My body feels yuck.
I feel a low grade depression.
I feel weaker,
less excited about things.
I have a tough time looking in the mirror.
Or making eye contact.
I crave all the wrong foods or I feel like not eating at all.
I am testy.
Moody.
Angry.
Anxiety ridden.
Fatigued.
Can’t sleep well.
Weaken immune system.
Yeah so what.
That is just part of life.
It’s not rape.
Well, I am sorry to shed the light on this for you,
but as a woman who has experienced rape in the sexual nature a couple of times in my life,
and as a woman who has had all too much duty sex AKA self rape ( in my opinion),
and as a woman who has allowed herself to be raped emotionally, psychologically, financially, time wise and many other ways through out life here and there.
I will tell you with utter certainty.
YOU ARE RAPING YOURSELF!!!!!
And to make matters worse.
You think its normal.
Its okay.
That you have too.
OMFG!!!!!
Have a little love for yourself already.
You got no love?
How about empathy?
Compassion?
Where the f-ck is your give a shit for you?
Yet you claim you want a life worth living.
You claim you want to make changes.
You claim you want joy,
happiness, love.
ABUNDANCE.
But you think by spreading your legs and allowing someone else to have their way, to pump pump eww goo in you and get theirs that you are going to somehow succeed at having the life that you want? ( scratching my head here.)
Are you effing kidding me?
You are crazy!
That is all I have to say.
Although,
I get it.
I REALLY do.
Because I have been you.
In all areas of my life.
But you know what the reality is?
At some point,
You have to close up your rape shop.
You have to start to honor yourself enough,
to say NO.
You have to get into integrity with the most important person in your life.
YOU.
And you have to not just give it lip service, no you have to actually commit to it.
You want freedom based living?
You want a F-ck Yes Life?
You want to be in love with yourself and your life?
You want to be proud of yourself?
You want to actually succeed at having what you claim you want?
Well here is the gig.
You must stop raping yourself.
In all areas of your life.
It is time.
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
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