What Getting Shot At Taught Me.

 

The bullets whirled past my head and shoulders. 

Horror encompassed every aspect of my being. 

We ran. We ran like there was no tomorrow because we did not know if there was one. 

I can still see the tall wheat grasses, golden in the afternoon sunlight, bending to our thrashing of them with each intensified step. 

I can grasp ahold of my only hope that we would clear the field, clear the firehouse doors and make it to Laura’s house. Laura was the woman I thought of as my grandmother, although she was of no blood relation or family to me. She and her brother Art lived across the field from us in a house that was built a hundred years before. I loved to play barbies in her house breezeway and under the remaining orange grove trees in the spring and summer. Laura would make me iced tea and we would sit in her rusty metal rocking chairs as she told me tales of her youth. Laura was my sanctuary as a child. Her house was a magical mystery from times I only saw in movies and read about and Laura with her long silver hair and dress from something like Little House on the Prairie was a woman who I felt safe with and on this Spring Day in 1980 my mother was hoping to find safety at Lauras as well. 

 

I was four-years old. My parents had been fighting off and on for a few days. My father had a temper, although most of the time he was calm, cool and collected. You never knew exactly what would set him off or when the eruption was going to happen. Life was peaceful and good 95% of the time and as long as everything was according to the order that he wanted it to be. My mother without true understanding pushed his buttons often with her carefree gypsy ways. However, today, today none of this was about any of that. It was about my mother wanting to visit her homeland of Germany and take me with her. It meant that we would be gone for four or five weeks, and I was so very excited about the adventures that lay before us on this journey. My father on the other hand, not so much. He was not good with his daughter leaving the country. 

 

And so, the fight erupted and without notice, the shouting led to fists through walls and breaking glass, doors slamming, and threats being made. I played outside, next to the old water cooler where I had built a shelter. I felt safe, was out of the way, and could still hear everything. But today my mom ran to my little dome habitat and grabbed my hand, told me to drop everything and come. Barbie in hand she pulled me with all her might as we rushed through the yard and into the field toward Laura’s house. Her weeping was loud, and I did not understand what was happening. 

 

Not until I heard the ring of my daddy’s pistol. 

And then I understood. 

 

I understood that he was mad and that something my mom had done had made him so. 

I understood that in order to keep the peace with the man I looked up to, who was my world (because I was daddy’s little girl, he walked on water many days with me), the man who I believed would never hurt me, always keep me safe, loved me, cherished me and that I respected without question… I understood that this peace was shattered. 

So much so that he was willing to shoot at us. 

At me. 

I had witnessed my father’s rage on a few occasions, and I already knew that he was not a man to be reckoned with. His word was the end of the line. He allowed me massive freedom in so many ways but demanded that I earn it. That I prove my worth and that I walk the line he had for me, and he demanded the same in a respect of my mother. 

 

This day in my fourth year of life was a day that bore with it an education around a relationship with a man that I am pretty sure my daddy never wanted me to experience nor have ingrained at the level that it buried itself in my psyche. But that is the path of parenting, we are still humans, and we are wounded humans at that. We allow our ego’s, our fear and pain to overrun us like my dad had done on this day and we act without the foresight of what the repercussions are for those we love. Often these repercussions are years long and sometimes a lifetime. 

 

What my daddy set in motion this day and events prior and after was the lesson of: 

 

PISS A MAN OFF, GET HURT.

Don’t do what you know will keep the peace…

Speak up too much…

Don’t get it right…

Show too much emotion…

Or opinion…

Do anything that is not pleasing to what he wants and there WILL be hell to pay. 

Perhaps even death.

 

I did make friends with the idea of death on this day and a few others that came close in similar events, and that is not a bad thing. I have understood that life is fleeting, and you never know when it’s gift of breath in your lungs will be taken from you, so enjoy the moment while you have it and be the best you that makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t take anything for granted. 

 

Those are the gifts from this traumatic event. 

The hard lessons that I have spent my life retraining myself on however, so that I can release myself from the shackles that I bought into in my youth, the ones that I get triggered daily with in my relationship with my partner, the ones that my clients bring to me and they wonder why I understand so deeply the fear, the need to be approved of, to not rock the apple cart in their relationships, the lessons that have seeped their way out and rebirthed themselves into sabotaging patterns with my friends and children. Those are the nasty boogers that just tear my heart out and demand that I find all the courage that I can muster up to overcome and get out of the comfort of what  my psyche believes is true, and because of this illusion my body has been trained to believe it as well so looks for the feelings that it associates with this “truth” in the day to day relating of life and then reacts from there creating a vicious cycle.

 

But it’s not. 

 

You see, I write this musing today because of a conversation a while back with my partner. I shared the anxiety that I feel so often in our relationship. It’s funny, he does nothing to cause it, but if we have any amount of confrontation, difference of opinion or if I simply perceive that he is pulling away for any reason my inner four-year-old little girl takes off running in fear for her very life. 

Except I can’t blame my mom for upsetting the apple cart, I am the woman in the event rattling the cages and I stand before this man who I believes loves my every cell, has given so much of his life in our short time together to me and has done nothing but prove he will stand in the fire with me. There is no convincing my four-year-old though that she is safe. She has a track record from youth to other relationships to prove that she is not safe.  No matter how drastically different he is or our relationship in comparison to the past …

 

She points to all the childhood moments when her father showed no love or concern but only rage and torment. 

She points to the lies of her high school love and the abandonment she experienced. 

She points to her saga of marriage where every day was about fighting, was about survival, emotional betrayals and sexual expectation’s. Being told she was crazy, being told that she was the problem and then damned for walking away from the marriage. 

She points to the emotional warfare of her narcissistic, stonewalling sexually abusive relationship that followed that ended by her being physically broken and in the hospital. 

She points to the crazy she did not see in her relationships; the way men have always only wanted to control her and called that love. 

 

That four-year old has seen more than any child should ever have too. 

And today she finds herself recognizing her truth. 

She sees the lessons and she knows that they set a tone for a relationship with a man.

They set up an illusion as to what she should expect, should give, and should want in an intimate relationship. Creating weak boundaries. Poor self-worth. And a high level of responsibility for anything that appears to be wrong. A quick retreat. An even quicker need to run, to hide the delicate self.

 

Now, the grown ass woman, she knows this is all BS!!!!

She knows at her core that love does not demand that you see eye to eye or that one caves to the other and gives of themselves that, that deflates the very essence of who one is. The woman knows that love means that you accept the human error of your partner. That you cherish them even when they upset the apple cart. Your cart.

 

She is wise. 

Not blaming her daddy, her mother or anyone she has ever been in relationship with and at the same time not owning it all for herself. Because she can allow herself to feel her pain, her fear, and let her tears fall to the ground where they will grow something beautiful. She can see that we are all victims of victims, wounded children acting from places that we do not recognize and causing us to fear this world. We are all scared. 

 

Scared to lose. 

Fearful of not being enough. 

Or good enough for the one that we love. 

And many of us do not understand that love means letting go, 

While we cling to it with all the hope and enthusiasm as a child on Christmas morning. 

No, we forget that love is fire that can be easily put out through control. 

And that in our desire to control it to keep us and the one we love safe that in turn we make our beloved a slave.

We do not mean to cause harm.

We do not intend on creating trauma. 

Yet we do. 

 

But it always takes two to make lasting damage. 

It takes two who are willing to dance in this sea of the ego. 

 

I have had a life of emotional, physical, sexual abuse. 

I could easily write this with the concept that life is not fair. 

That I am a victim. 

Or stay in the comfort of believing that how I perceive things is accurate for my relationships and that I am not worthy, not enough, too much to handle, too emotional, to ‘broken’ and not loveable. That would have a strange sense of security to it because these are belief structures that I grew up with, that I was shown and taught in significant ways. 

However, that path will never be one that offers me the depth and truth that my soul craves. 

It will only lead me into a deeper concept that love is something that you must sacrifice yourself for and that I am only allowed it “If I do what is required in the way that is demanded.”

It will never offer authentic emotionally mature relating, mature love. 

And I would never achieve healing or happiness. 

I would remain shackled to these false truths and beliefs. 

My reality would not ever be altered. 

And I would simply find no more reason to babble on here. 

Why bother?

 

I share this tale like any of my tales with you because I want to provide you hope.

Hope and lessons, concepts at very least to help you see that you can achieve the life that you want for. You are worthy of it because you have a beating heart and air in your lungs, that is all that is required for your worthiness to have a good life. I want you to know that if a little girl from a nowhere spot in Northern California who grew up with not a whole lot can see that she is worthy and loveable just the way that she is, so can you. 

I want you to be able to take my words and ask yourself, “Why am I accepting these lies as my truths? Why am I accepting so little for my life, for my relationship, my wellbeing? Why am I believing the triggering fear that stems from my body’s reactions to an illusion that it embraces as reality?“ And I want for you to get mad!!! I want you to be frustrated and tired of just letting life go by with some silly concept that you are going to survive it and that your days here mean nothing. 

 

I want you to breathe in the fear of your inner child, 

Comfort that sweet baby, 

And grow the f-ck up. 

Stop letting that kid rule your world with his/her perceptions. 

Look your loved one in the eye and find a drop of faith that they actually love you.

And look yourself in the eye and find a drop of faith that God has a plan for you and that you might just like what is in store. 

 

No matter what your story is, take it from this wounded soul…

You can change that story. 

It’s going to take you wanting to so badly though, that you are willing to sacrifice the comfort of living in what you have been accepting all these years.

But you are worth that sacrifice and life is meant to be a beautiful, fulfilling thing. 

Not just something to exist in. 

 

Loving you from here always. 

Stop Existing & Start Living

-KW

The body holds memory in its cells. Your organs, joints and muscles all contain emotional memory. Doing the mental/psychological work is vitally important however it does not release you from the bondage of your trauma. This can only be fully accomplished through physical release and restoration.  Louise Hay studied this at great length and taught on the emotional connection to disease, ancient Chinese medicine studied the connection of the mind/body/emotional houses as well. Today science is proving that we are woven together and that by attempting to compartmentalize our very being into sections that we do not achieve the healing and transformation that we desire for any length of time because of this separation.

If you are tired of not having the lasting results in your self-growth and healing that you so badly want for and wonder why, look no further.  Reach out to me today for your exploratory consult for structural quantum integration work where you will once and for all release the past traumas, restore vitality and health and have a fresh clarity on who you are and what your future can be.

Email me today.

 

Why Women Give Themselves Up In Relationship.

“ Why did you come home a different path than what you normally do?” Stew asked Rachel before she could even get her car door closed. 

 

“ You are over 15 minutes late and how many times have I told you that I don’t like that? Hmmm…You are so stupid. I can’t trust you with anything. I hope you had fun on your little adventure on the way home.”

 

Rachel could feel her heart racing. 

The tension in her chest, the nausea rising. 

Your stomach was upside down and in knots. 

She felt worthless, stupid, and as if she always messing everything up. 

It could have been a nice evening at home. 

They could have just enjoyed dinner, a glass of wine and chilled watching their favorite show, but no, she messed it up yet again. Stew always made her aware of her screw ups and how disappointed he was in her. He was good at making sure that she held the blame for the “bullsh*t” as he called it, and made sure that she was aware of how little trust he had in her and that she was nothing but a stupid child who needed constant reprimand. 

 

“F-ck You!” Robert yelled at Sally as he slammed the door shut. 

“You are my wife. You should not disrespect me like that.”

 

Sally breathed deeply, trying to keep her composure as she finished getting ready for bed. 

She knew that if she took too long that things would get worse for her. She also knew that if she raced out after him that he would only yell something else and potentially get physical. So she breathed, let a few tears fall, looked herself in the mirror and told herself, ‘Everything is going to be okay, we are going to make it through this.” Then walked calmly as she could with her knees trembling out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where Robert had planted himself on the far edge of the bed, eye’s closed and obviously disgusted and ready to attack. Sally sat down on the bed next to him and said, “Honey, let’s talk about this. I just wanted to know what you wanted with the video, it made me feel uncomfortable.” Robert sprung up off the bed in a rage, yelling…

 

“You are my f-cking wife, you don’t need to know what I want with anything. I can do whatever I want with pictures and videos of you.”

 

Sally sat still as can be, looking down at the bed. 

She knew that she could not say anything else. 

Or be accused of not loving him, not caring, disrespecting and so much more. 

 

Tyson leaned in grabbed Steph’s long hair and pulled her back so that he could whisper in her ear. They were in the thrawls of sex and it was getting really heated. He pulled her head back, wrapped his hand around her hips and said, “You are so f-cking hot. You are so wet. I want to see another woman going down on you. I want to see her enjoying you.” Steph felt a moment of panic in her body, tightness crossed over her breasts. Her heart began to ach. She did not want to wreck his fantasy but she was the furthest thing from aroused at this idea. Tyson loved to “talk dirty” and he loved to paint images of wild and risky events in her ears during sex. Steph hated it all. She just wanted to be with him. Every time Tyson spoke of other men, women, threesomes and moresomes, gang bangs, and risky locations she found herself in a state of fear. She could no longer feel pleasure or be present there in the moment with him. And she did not want to burden her husband with her silliness as he called it when she tried to share that she was not into these things. He always would  paint the tale and then tell her that he could tell how turned on she was from it, that she wanted it. If she said anything different then he would get angry, stonewall her for days and only tell her that she was so closed down and disconnected from herself that she could not even tell when she was aroused. But he knew. 

 

These are all true stories!

These are my clients of the past. ( names changed to keep privacy)

Women who shared with me the deep pain that they went through consistently in their relationships. The stress that these things put them under and now here they sat before me wanting to unravel the mess that had been taught to them, that they had somehow started to believe was true. 

 

Now one might wonder how can anyone believe something of any of these natures if it just is not so. It is obvious to the outside reader of these tales that these are women who are being abused emotionally, physically and mentally. You might say they should just wake up and get a divorce, save themselves. Not always that easy and everyone has their own reasons as to why that is not always on the table. Most of the time the woman in this instance believes that she is responsible for how her partner is treating her and that she even has it coming. 

 

Ingrained in her psyche from the earliest of years, the majority of women are taught to look pretty, be kind, always put others first, keep the peace and do what is needed or expected of them. 

 

These teachings support the nature of the feminine fully to be peace keepers and nurturers. However they do not support a healthy relationship container, nor a healthy individual. 

 

Women suffer from depression, anxiety and other stress related disorders more than men do across the board. 

 

Upto five times more women suffer from such ailments as TMJ, hormone dysfunctions, migraine and an array of autoimmune disorders than men. Over fifty percent of women surveyed in multiple studies said that they suffered from “high stress levels” and that their stress has increased immensely over the last few years where only one in four men said the same. 

 

70% of women claim they don’t orgasm during sex. 

A striking 60% plus claim that their male partner has forced sex on them even after they said that they did not want it. 

It is an understatement to say that that only 60% of women have been sexually violated at some point in their lives, and almost that many have also experienced physical and/or emotional and mental abuse as well from a male close to them. 

 

These acceptances in relationship start in a woman’s youth. 

The expectations that she is taught from age three forward. 

Her relationship with her father, brothers, uncles and other men. 

How she is looked upon, the remarks made, and then the constant awareness that she is responsible for the actions, words and even thoughts of the men that come into her life. 

 

She is trained to care at all cost for the man in her life. 

To sacrifice her own needs and boundaries even. to make sure that he is happy and satisfied and she is taught that if she does not do this that it is to be expected to be “punished.”

 

In today’s world of feminist rights and movements, you would think that these ideas would have been put to rest a decade or so ago at very least, and they are starting to loosen around the feminine but now are turning toward the masculine where we women are attempting to make right the wrongs by inflicting our pain and revenge on men. However, all we are truly doing is creating more pain for both sexes. We are traumatizing all sides and we are putting all the more stress and anxiety on we women as we believe strong heartedly that all men are toxic. We now undervalue the beauty and strength of the masculine leadership, logical minds, ability to nurture in their own way and stand true at their core. These characteristics however are only instilled in the masculine if they are raised to believe in themselves and to value and trust the feminine. Our men of today and of the last few decades have been raised by a scorned feminine. They have witnessed the pain of both sexes and they do not know where they stand or what it means to be a man in our world. 

 

There is truly no safe haven for man or woman in todays world. 

And we have all been raised by victims. 

 

So where does this musing of today take us?

What is the take away that I want for you to gain from this message here?

 

First, I want to share that my above client stories all came to me because the men wanted change for their relationship and woman. Although, none understood what they were truly asking nor what they would get, they were the leaders of the change. They were the ones who said, “Something has to happen here. She needs to find her power, her self-love and worth.”

The women, most of them would have chosen to remain in the same shoes, to not cause a stir in their relationship. They would have sacrificed the rest of their years on this planet not initiating, not speaking their truth, staying the peacekeepers that they were and having limited confrontation. Because that is how a woman thinks and believes. 

She does not want to fight. 

She wants everyone to just get along. 

 

And she will deal with herself, 

Her emotions and fears, 

Her negative thoughts and her broken heart most likely in the parking lot of the grocery store. Alone. Parked and crying until she feels spent and able to move again. 

 

Next, relationship…. All relationship is about power. 

There is delicate harmony to the dance of power, and intimate relationship all the more delicate because it deals with the heart. It deals with our hopes and dreams. It is the one space that many will do what they would never do anywhere else. They will speak the cruelest of words to one they hold so dear because they know that they can get away with it. They will say yes when they are hard no because they do not want to be a disappointment or let the other down. They will accept so much less from their partner and take more on for themselves. And they will do all of this good and bad alike because of their positioning in the relationship and how they have been taught. You see, its all a cookie cutter thought process. Its about what we will accept for ourselves, how we value ourselves and what we have been taught to believe and look for in the opposite sex. 

 

Unfortunately, none of this is healthy. 

None of this has anything to do with love of our mate. 

It only reveals how we view ourselves and what we will accept. 

It shows our scars. 

It shows how easily we will give ourselves away in a multitude of ways and even let our health be destroys all for the attention and approval if only for one second in time from another. 

 

These men, who brought their wives in to “get fixed” all said the same thing in their consult. 

“ I love her. I want her to see how powerful beautiful and radiant she is. I want her to speak her truth even if it hurts. I want her to know that I support her.”

 

However, as the women learned to speak their truth which is where they found their power and self-love and worth, the men found themselves being told the truth more and this caused more pain, more confrontation, fights, anger, rage and sometimes trauma. Some of these couples are no longer together. The men discovered that as amazing and hot as it sounds to be with an empowered woman who will tell you the truth that they could not bare to be with her any longer, they wanted something less testing in their relationship. They did not want to hear her pain, her disagreement, her thoughts. And the women discovered that they needed a man that was willing to truly listen to her as well as himself. They discovered that they required and deserved a man who was willing to work on himself as well and valued her for all her feminine tendencies instead of looking at these natural characteristics as betrayals or disrespect. 

 

And the couple who made it through this edgy space of healing?

Well they discovered who each of them were. 

They learned how to communicate without violence. 

They learned how to stop blaming and jumping to conclusions. 

They learned how to remain present in the issue and moment with each other. 

And above all else, they learned to let go of the need to be right. 

To be seen or understood, even by their partner. 

And that they were never going to fully heal their wounds of the past or overcome the triggers associated with them, but that they could inquire into the self as, “how does this support our relationship right now and what can I do to better hear my partner?”

 

If you take nothing but this last line away with you today, then that my dear reader is enough. 

 

Know that you are worthy. 

You are whole and enough.

And it is always okay to make mistakes, 

You will not get it right all the time. You will not always stand strong in your word even. 

Some days you will fall great distances. 

Because you are human. 

And so is your partner. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

  • Kendal Rene’

 

THE SEXIEST STATE OF A WOMAN. (OR MAN)

💃💃WE WOMEN ARE AT OUR SEXIEST WHEN WE ARE VULNERABLE.💃
Vulnerability is potentially one of scariest words that we humans have ever come up with.
We often view vulnerability as weakness.
Because when we allow for ourselves to be vulnerable we also run the risk of opening ourselves up to all sorts of pain.
👉Especially when we discuss intimate relationship. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
Yet, intimate relationship is THE RELATIONSHIP that we hold expectation around that it is our safe haven. This other human being loves us, cares about us and wants to have our backs.
They desire to see all aspects of us.
And that means that we have to surrender to vulnerability.
With that in mind, it’s a damn difficult thing to drop our guards, step away from all the drama and trauma that we have been through and to have faith that we can lean into this other soul and trust what they are saying.
I mean we have heard it all before, right?
And we have believed it only to get hurt.
Badly, hurt.
However, without vulnerability there is no intimacy.
Let’s define vulnerability:
A state of being exposed physically or emotionally.
It means that we are willing to stand before our partner naked in every way.
Revealing in trust our fears, worries, concerns and that we are triggered and sometimes unable to move.
Vulnerability is about letting another see your whole heart, soul and demons.
Yes, those shadow aspects of yourself that even you run from and try to ignore.
For us women, that means the crazy girl stuff.
It means our seemingly irrational emotions.
Our fear of abandonment as well as our anxiety that comes up because of it.
Our disgust around our worth, ability to be enough and if we are pretty and attractive or not.
It pulls up our fears around our sexuality and desires.
Our ability to be comfortable with communicating our needs and desires,
As well stating a clear no with confidence and no guilt.
It means getting real with our natural need and desire to be loved, cared for, protected and provided for in different ways.
We women of today are caught in a chaotic state of fear and a feeling of not being enough.
We reside in this land where our nature is to want support, but we are consistently told that it is weak and demeaning to want for this.
Never in all our history have we been in a relationship quandary like we are today, ‘where everyone is fighting for their rights, their space and sovereignty while disregarding our internal relationship design. The masculine energy that focuses on driving forward, taking action, proving self, not needing and being the protector-provider, leader in all is what both sexes focus on. Devaluing the feminine nature. The emotional balance required to make relationships, family and life successful in all areas.
We are a world focused on success as it speaks to the material state of things.
For men, this vulnerability equates to:
Your desire to walk away from her emotional presentations.
To armor your hearts when you get scared of the storms that your woman shows you.
It is leaning in and sharing that you do have emotions. You do ponder the deeper things and care about intimacy not just sex.
It is getting real with your rage, with your frustration and distrust in how the feminine seems to always abandon your heart.
Allowing your wounded masculine to speak its words of concern about being manipulated or controlled.
It is recognition of your fear of aging, of not being strong enough to protect.
It is acceptance in your concern that you wake each day worried that you won’t succeed.
That you do not know the direction.
It is allowing yourself to be witnessed as a human, a man without all the answers.
And men of today struggle in this world that is upside down, where they question and feel like they are stepping on eggshells, fearful of the reality that they are a man and not knowing what is safe in that or not.
These are all real vulnerabilities.
They are expressed and experienced by the vast majority of people.
Both sexes should respect them.
As all humans should.
No matter our sex, race, religion, financial stature, education, or other….
THESE VULNERABILITIES are what we find on our table.
And they are what makes us beautiful.
I’ll tell you this…
With over 20,000+ coaching hours under my belt,
Vulnerability is the epicenter of an authentic relationship.
It is what connects us.
In tantra we are taught that everything is woven together like a delicate web where if there is any focus to one connective piece it sends vibrations, energies ( thought & feeling) to another. There is no truer space than when we stand naked before our soulmate.
Trusting in them.
Letting ourselves be revealed.
And feeling everything that occurs with the seconds flash of our personal reveal.
How sexy it is to see someone, naked in all ways.
Revealing their soul, heart and demons.
Their transparency and fear.
The hope that you can witness in the teared up eyes.
The depth that draws you in and makes you realize that they are still a mystery to you.
This soul that has entrusted YOU with every morsel of who they are,
Asking for you to slow yourself,
To see them.
To feel them.
To honor their pain and dreams.
This is vulnerability.
And we can only have it when we are willing to care.
Willing to empathize with what is revealed to us instead of judging.
In our capacity to care about our partners feelings as well as our own and to hold space for both.
Here we capture the essence of unconditional love and acceptance.
The things we all desire for,
Hunt for, are willing to change for.
Here we discover a deeper version of ourselves.
And are asked to step up and lean in.
To find the courage to claim this person right where they are.
Naked before us in all their beauty.
Here is where joy resides.
It’s in the receiving of your love.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to know more on how to step forward in faith?
How to be aligned to your soul and stand naked before your partner and have clarity and confidence that you will be received fully? This is the soulmate relationship.
 
Message me to discuss the steps needed to get aligned to have that relationship, be vulnerable, certain and more.
 
Inquire about my FREE Clarity Calls Today.

ODE TO THE MAN MY SOUL MARRIED A MILLIENIA AGO.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🥂💞ODE TO THE MAN MY SOUL MARRIED A MILLENIA AGO💞🥂👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
👉I have heard many a time that you should not need someone to complete you.
👉I have heard that you need to love yourself fully in order to call in your soulmate.
👉I have heard that you cannot want to be with someone so badly that it hurts.
The feeling of addiction in love.
And I have always bought into these concepts.
I have believed that we must be fully who we are before we can say YES with our heart and soul to another.
And yet here I stand before you telling something different…
Today, I enter the next 365 day cycle with the man that I call home.
I see not only how deeply he completes me, but that he does this through restoring my soul union with his own.
He creates space for me to challenge myself to see clearer who I am.
In his gaze of watching me, I feel his loving support and admiration.
Each time that he holds my hand, that he grabs my pinky with his, I hear his soul say, “And we are one my love- I got you.”
As I view the last cycle around the sun with him,
I find myself in awe and appreciation for every flicker of life shared over the calendar.
The majority of my appreciation comes from his consistency and fierce focus of dedication to making us better as a team.
Never waning away from his core guidance and always assuring me that he trusts mine. Reminding me to listen to myself.
💞To my heart.
💃To my soul.
And to step from there.
👉👉👉IT IS SAID THAT YOU CANNOT LOVE ANOTHER UNTIL YOU LOVE YOURSELF….
Over the course of my time on this planet I have come to differ with this concept. Learning that relationship, especially intimate partnership, is what defines who we are and heals us from our inner struggles of doubt, fear and lack of worthiness to self-love.
It is only in these close bonded relationships that we are requested to move deeper into who we are and to give grace to who we have been.
When someone holds us in the eye of appreciation and love,
When we are supported in compassion and desire for all that we can be, and our wounds are not blocking the vision of what the other see’s in us, we find ourselves mirrored back through their loving gaze.
👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨And we come home.
This very feeling of home is what makes a soulmate bond so addictive.
It is much like soaking in the morning rays of sun as they beam through the blinds of your bedroom window. As you awaken, there is the soft luxurious comfort of down pillows, the most comfortable bedding supporting your body and as you hear the birds chirping, you stretch and awaken to this brilliant new day. Not wanting to leave this time and space for it is so comfortable, so needed. You want to just absorb it and never let this blissful, peaceful moment in your day escape. You want to live here.
You are safe.
You are supported.
You feel good into the deepest marrow of your bones.
And love resides right here.
This is home.
This is coming home to your soulmate.
This is addictive in nature and makes us want to never experience another breath without it in it.
And that my dear is exactly what a bond of a thousand years plus feels like.
As we dance around the sun another year,
My commitment ever grows to this man.
My surrender to reveal my truest heart births at deeper levels each day.
And as I catch his gaze upon me,
reminding me as to just how beautiful, powerful and worthy I am,
I step into a greater love for him,
and thus a greater love of me.
You see, a soulmate love is not for the weak of spirit nor heart or mind. It is beyond challenging, and you find yourself facing your scariest of demons, cleaning out closets of old traumas and wounds, programmed ideas that you have purchased for your own beliefs and now in the arms of your soulmate you are requested to walk away from everything that is not you.
To put down the armour that holds you back from your power.
To surrender to your glory, through the grace of this love.
You will be required to work more on yourself then you have ever had to work before.
The excavation of your truth,
of your soul is a tedious and scary journey.
As you discover the treasures that make you who you are,
and you look up into the eye’s of your soulmate,
your heart will rejoice in celebration that they stood there,
as your rock, your center, the words of guidance and you my sweet will find your soul saying YES…
Yes, my soul married you a millenia ago,
and my body, mind and heart marry you today.
Here on the altar of our love.
Of our deliverance to self.
I surrender.
We unite.
💞Let no breath happen without you by my side.💞
I write this ode to the soulmate,
I share this musing from my restored heart.
And I pull forth these words from a thousand years ago,
In hopes that you find something here my love.
It is my wish for you,
That over this next dance around the sun,
That you let go of all that is not you.
That you come into defining yourself through the greatest of loves.
And that you see it’s challenge as a restoration of your truth.
For that is exactly what it is.
And you are worthy of this.
As we all are.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
🔥💞👉Want more guidance on calling in a restorative love so that you can thrive in love, life, abundance that is great and worthy of you? Reach out to me today for a FREE Clarity Call.
It is time to say YES!🔥
👉F-ck Yes! To YOU. 👈

CASUAL SEX CEATES EMOTIONAL INTIMACY BLOCKAGES & TRUAMA RESPONSE

 

👊👊🤯CASUAL SEX CREATES EMOTIONAL INTIMACY BLOCKAGES AND TRAUMA RESPONSE👈👈👊

It’s why so many people can’t find real love today.

It’s why so many are commitment phobes.

It’s why so many women are under the belief that they need a man with a bigger…

It’s why so many men are scared of women going ‘crazy’ or getting ‘needy’ with them.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨We live in a hookup culture and with that culture we have lost our heart and ability to be truly intimate.

The hook up scene is no longer just for college students,

or players.

👉Anyone can be a player in today’s world.👈

Matter a fact, casual sex, dating and relating is ever growing in the over 40 bracket and the reason is that no one wants to take the time to connect any more.

Many people today of all ages, get into relationship saying they are looking for love, for commitment, for a partner, but what they are actually wanting is easy sustainable sex.  A large majority of twenty and even thirty somethings are not planning on having families. They don’t want children. The vast majority of people from their mid thirties and older have already had children or are no longer in baby making years or are retired. These life situations and desires have created a new ground around relationship containers in general and the majority of people are not interested in long-term commitment any longer.

Recent studies have shown that not only pregnancy rates are down, but the number of people getting married has declined tremendously as well.

You can say that this comes with the belief that you don’t have to be married to be committed or show your love for someone.

 

👉And you are correct.👈

 

Marriage does not make you more committed or more in love.

Although, the commitment factor that we are aiming for with marriage DOES often create a feeling of safety, closeness, protection, stability and allows one or both parties to surrender deeper than not having it. It is an external showing of INTENTION and the solid commitment to that intention on all levels of the partnership.

 

50+ years ago, if a couple wanted to have sex they would get married.

Matter a fact, marriage was the predominant vehicle to having sex.

Today however, in order to get laid, you barely if at all need to make a commitment.

Matter a fact, many people don’t even ask many questions.

You might even not exchange names in some cases.

 

👊👊👊Smash it and Go!🤯

 

It’s this view on sex that is causing so much trauma emotionally and even physically to individuals and those who are attempting couplehood.

 

Many people are in casual relationships BELIEVING it is a serious relationship. ( how is that possible you may wonder. Right? Hopefully this musing helps answer that. Keep reading.)

 

We live in an era of time where individuals have every right to do whatever they want in relationship and with sex.

 

👉We have a label for EVERYTHING.

👉We have new pronouns.

👉We can be whatever race, gender or sexual preference that we want in the moment.

👉We can design our relationship/commitment style however we want.

 

There are no limits.

No boundaries to who we are.

Science has been put on the back burner today when we talk sex, sexual preference, gender, and many other things.

 

We are a woke society that is all inclusive.

And we can SMASH it and GO!!! with no issue.

 

Now, I am not here to make any judgements on anyones preferences or lablels, or when you choose to have sex with a new partner. If you want to have sex on a first date, go to an adult book store to get laid by a total stranger or act out some fantasy or you want to wait till your wedding night, its a personal choice.

 

If you are one who waits till marriage, hopefully you are doing a lot of vetting and getting to know yourself, practicing radical transparency and communication, so that you don’t get to this moment only to find out that you are not aligned here.

 

If you are smashing it and going and thinking you will find love and commitment, but keep finding heart break and more reasons as to why you should keep just smashing and going, remaining in control of your sex and getting the quick hit of sexual gratification but always feeling empty afterward because what you truly want is depth, connection and trust/commitment, then keep reading…

 

🙏 I BELIEVE OUR BODIES ARE SACRED.🙏

 

👉We claim to believe that we know that we deserve better.

👉To be treated better.

👉Loved better.

👉To be respected.

👉To have commitment, honesty, integrity.

👉To not just be “used.”

 

Yet we ourselves do not offer this to our own bodies.

We practice short circuit relating and sexing.

We grab the fast food options of quick release instead of honoring our hearts, bodies and time.

 

You see traditional “casual” sex.

AKA – Hook up/ smash it and go sexing.

Leads us down a path of many multiple partners.

Repeating this process, again and again creates shame for many even when they say it does not. (male and female alike)

Outside of the fear of judgement and the feeling of shame or not being good enough to find someone it can also create trauma physically and emotionally.

 

🤯PHYSICAL LEVEL TRAUMA- Massive multiple partners ‘can’ cause confusion for some people to figure out who they themselves are and what they like because each partner is different and women especially tend to adapt themselves to what the partner likes/needs instead of holding to their own needs/likes and communicating that.

 

You can also become desensitized sexually with mass numbers of partners. Making your body non-sacred and instead just being used as a tool.

 

Just as vibrators desensitize our nervous system to being able to feel fully, we densatize our bodies. Our vagus nerve and limbic system go into trauma response more easily or become mute, preventing us from our full life experiences in ALL categories.

 

🤯EMOTIONAL LEVEL TRAUMA- We bond physically with our partner(s). More for women than men, but all humans DO/CAN bond through sex. https://kendalwilliams.com/we-women-bond-with-men-physically/

 

Men can “pump, pump, eww, goo” or “pump and dump” you may say and not get overly attached but women certainly can get attached at a very deep level after sex, ESPECIALLY good sex. If a woman actually has an orgasm, and if she has more than just a clitorial one, she will be more likely to become attached to her partner, because of the bonding response that we are designed with. (read musing link above)

 

This often leads to heart break stories when she believes that “giving her sex will gain commitment.” Or that she is owed something.

 

If the man is getting attached and then experiences a woman who is emotionally gaurded so remaining in charge of the sex and going for the “smashing and go!” senario, he will feel the same emotional let down and loss as a woman would.

 

👉All instances lead to EMOTIONAL SHUT DOWN BASED ON TRAUMA created by casual sexing/relating without conscious intention.

 

Which creates physical shut down and an inability to surrender to physical pleasure and connection at a deeper level.

 

👉It’s a NUMBING process. 🤯

 

Which is why it’s vitally important to have radically real conversations before you sleep with someone.

 

It’s why I am constantly preaching to know your values.

Know what you are wanting and looking for in a relationship.

Be ready and willing to share upfront THIS key component to preventing yourself more misery and heartbreak.

 

And that is:

👊👊👊What’s your standards in a relationship? How do you operate in a relationship? What are your expectations/requirements/needs in a relationship? What are you REALLY looking for RIGHT NOW. Then INQUIRE back what the other person’s responses are about these same shares.

 

Chemistry (that energetic draw) is great!

But chemistry alone, much like love, will not make a long standing relationship successful.

It will not overcome everything else that comes up in relationships.

 

You must explore deeper.

You must witness our potential mate in many situations.

It takes an average of 100+ hours together consistently to see multiple aspects of another person and for some level of guards to come down.

 

So why are we having sex within the first date or two?

Most new daters have sex somewhere between the third and tenth date. Only having spent an average of 5 to 30 hours together over weeks of time “dating.”

 

👊🔥👊A good rule of thumb outside of deeper inquiry before sex is to NEVER engage in sex with a partner if you:

 

🔥Don’t feel comfortable with the person. If you need a substance to loosen up, YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE!

🔥Aren’t aware to your attachment styles and possible attachment caused by sex and have a deeper understanding to what you are wanting from this expereince/moment.

🔥Don’t know what the other person’s real intentions are. You have not yet done the asking!!!!

🔥 Have not discussed what you are wanting in a relationship. If you are wanting monogamy you have also discussed exclusivity. Because they are NOT the same! If you are wanting an open relationship/poly you have discussed what this dynamic is and what you are wanting here.

🔥If you don’t feel safe physically, emotionally and sexually. You need to have discussed safe sex, medical history, pregnancy. You need to have spoken about potential triggers that may come up due to past trauma. As well as, have shared your boundaries and non-negotiables in these three areas for sure.

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF ASKING THESE THINGS AND PUTTING IN THIS TIME AND EFFORT ON OUR SEXUAL CONNECTION IS BECAUSE IF WE CHOOSE TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AND IT DOES NOT WORK OUT WE CAN OFTEN TIMES CRUCIFY THE OTHER PERSON FOR “USING US.”

 

We blame them for us feeling hurt.

And we carry this trauma forward into all future relating.

 

🙏You owe it to yourself to honor your sex!🙏

 

 

If you are going to do CASUAL SEX…

Make it 🙏INTENTIONAL CASUAL SEX.🙏

 

Hopefully you found some answers here today on how to do just that.

 

And know that each experience is a part of your journey to self-discovery and is an opportunity to love on yourself and offer yourself respect, honor, time and focus.

 

My whole coaching system is dedicated and centered around these core things. Learning how to navigate and communicate what you want in a relationship by learning your soul-values.

 

As always, if you want to learn if coaching is something of potential assistance and value to you calling in your soulmate relationship or reigniting your couplehood then reach out to me today for a FREE Clarity Call! Where we will start the process of discovery, activation and healing to unite you to SOUL!

 

Loving you from here.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR “ACTIVE DESIRES” OR AFTER CARE! NOR SHOULD THEY…

 

👊💥👉NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR “ACTIVE DESIRES” OR AFTERCARE! NOR SHOULD THEY…🤯💥👊

 

Earlier in the week I wrote on leveling up your relationship by going monogamous, or why some people feel it is just this and I shared some commentary from an individual about her feelings on having her poly-based partner make this change. I also said there was a ton to her statement and I would need to write more on it.

 

👉THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.👈

 

First let’s refresh her words for you.

 

“Can anyone relate? Several love connections have recently decided to monogamously close their new relationships

We’ve stayed in touch, but there’s been no acknowledgment or curiosity of how this transition may affect the feelings of someone who still has active desires. While I believe everyone has the absolute freedom to decide what relationship structure they desire at the moment, I’m having emotions around the lack of attunement or transitional “aftercare”. 😔”

 

🔥🔥🔥WHAT ABOUT MY ACTIVE DESIRES?🔥🔥🔥

 

Why don’t you care about my desire?

Why do you pull away and not offer me an opportunity to fight for what I want in the outcome?

I still want this relationship/sex/friendship, etc?

 

(Insert three-year old tantrum here)😡😢😭😤

 

Okay folks, I am going to be brutally honest, real and raw here with my perspective on this. You may not enjoy what follows, just sayin’.

 

It does not  matter the relationship, you could be monogamous and dating or even married.

You could be poly or open relationship like the woman above and have your partner(s) move in a different direction.

You could just be friends with someone and have the relationship change/alter/end.

 

No matter the relationship, when one person says, “I am done moving in this direction like this and I am instead going to go this direction.” What they are saying is that they are 👉TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES.👈

 

How self-centered and emotionally immature are you in this moment to say: (things I have been told in break ups, change ups, transition or heard from people I have coached)

 

😭How can you leave me now? It’s the eleventh hour and I really need you.

😭I don’t feel like you really care, you don’t even inquire about…

😭I have feelings too!

😭I don’t know what your boundaries are, they are always changing.

😭You tell me when we can go back to the way things were.

😭I think you are shrinking your world and will regret it.

😭But, but… I thought you needed me.

😭WHAT ABOUT ME???

 

What about you?🤨

 

This is a decision for me.  It’s about me.  My happiness. My peace of mind. My sanity. My life direction. My MF desire.

 

I am taking care of ME and you should follow my lead and take care of YOU.

 

All the above statements are based in a victim consciousness, the wounded, abandoned, fear driven inner child, NOT a mature emotional/mental or physical consciousness from a grown a*s adult who knows that they need to take care of themselves.

 

The worst thing that someone can do that is making a shift in any relationship and creating separation, space, etc is to come back in and comfort the one they are making relationship changes with.

 

This concept of “aftercare” from the person who is wanting separation and space from the other person will not do anything but cause more harm to both parties.

 

YOU HAVE STOP BEING SOMEONE’S CRACK HIT!🤯😳

 

It is first putting the person asking for space in a position of power over the others feelings as well as making them a victim to the other person, because now they have to manage their feelings all the more and THIS may be exactly why they were wanting out to begin with. Perhaps the one being “broken up” with, gave too much power to the other over their emotional state????

So why would it be healthy for aftercare here?

 

It’s not healthy!!!👈

 

NO ONE WINS.

 

Often, in a relationship we lose ourselves in another person.

We without realizing it develop a “need” for this other human being that is a form of co-dependency that is unhealthy, because without their active participation in our lives THE WAY WE WANT we no longer know who we are, what our direction is, nor have happiness.

 

There is healthy grieving that needs to happen in any transition of a relationship.

 

And if we desire to have our needs and wants met ever in a relationship then we must own responsibility for our own inner well-being and state of feeling. This is the ONLY way that we can relate long term with another person and experience stability and trust.

 

👉Over and over again I have heard how the one who is being “forced”😤 into this transition feels like the other does not care.

 

🤦‍♀️They want to fight for the relationship.

🤦‍♀️They want to convince the other that they can get it right.

🤦‍♀️They want to change the mind and feelings of the other.

🤦‍♀️They just want it to go back to the way it was and are often willing to play the waiting game to make it happen.

 

👉And it’s all a self-centered ploy to “feel” loveable, wanted, needed. 👈

 

If one really wanted the best for someone, really loved and cared for a friend/partner/lover they would suck it up and take care of themselves without demand from the one who is wanting changes.

 

They would understand that if things were so great before, that changes would not be happening, so it’s crazy to “think” things will EVER go back to what they were.

 

In their attempts to convince, fight for the relationship, question the needs and desires of the other they only push the other away all the more.

 

An ex of mine used to say, ” A reason, a season or a lifetime. You won’t know what it is till you get there.”

 

How true this statement is and most relationships are for a reason or a season. We can want for the lifetime, but we lose the beauty of the moment, memories, experiences and lessons if we run around focused on the lifetime to the point of squishing our “active desire” on another person.

 

👊👊The thing about “active desire” is that it can imprison you into a state of need. 😳🤯

 

Desire is a beautiful thing.

Desire is healthy!

You were born to live a life of desire.

 

With that said, desire moves you into suffering. And it is supposed to be that way…( yeah, it is.)

Life is about your suffering.

It is about how YOU choose to handle your suffering.

The lessons and healing that you gain from your suffering.

Just because you have an “active desire” DOES NOT mean that anyone owes you anything, nor that you need to put your demands on anyone to meet your desire.

 

THAT is immature.

That is unhealthy.

That is being a victim to life.

 

To have an active desire to maintain a relationship in the same fashion that it has been in and say, ” But, but… I don’t want this transition/change/etc. you need to care about my feelings here too.”

 

Is saying, ” I put you in charge of my happiness. I put myself in front of you for you. You are being selfish by caring about you and making a move for you.”

 

I am always reminded that the most self-centered souls are the one’s pointing fingers of selfishness and self-centeredness at those who are not giving them what they want, how they want it and putting the world in charge of their happiness.

 

I get it!

I have had my heart broken.

I have thought things were going one way and were good ONLY to find out that the other person did not feel the same.

I have cried for months and shut my heart down for years from deep love because of it.

I have sworn off allowing myself ever to care at that level before.

 

And I stand here today, deeper in love and commitment than I have ever experienced and in full gratitude for all the loss, heartache and suffering of my past because it was not aligned to my soul the way I wanted, and at my core I KNEW IT!!!

 

So when, someone says to you,

” I need to make this change.”

 

Say THANK YOU to them for taking care of them and you in the long run. Because that is what they are doing.

 

They are acting from a long term place of love for both of you and leaning into the reality that you are no longer aligned.

Your relationship has served its contract, its purpose and they recognize it.

 

Let yourself be set free.

You deserve to have relationships of all labels that are SOUL ALIGNED.

 

As Always,

Loving you on your journey from here.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL.

💃WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL?👈💃

 

We ladies can be so needy sometimes and not even realize what we are doing. Granted, today I am sharing some most likely pretty obvious things that we ladies are guilty of asking our men, however my point in sharing these things is to enlightened the women of my page as to what is really going on when we reach out with this sort of inquiry and what we can do to better ourselves.

 

Self-love and acceptance is vital to an emotionally healthy person and relationship with another. Both sexes have numerous challenges around self-love and it often shows up in our communication with our partners. Personally speaking I can recall many times when I have been guilty of asking these questions myself, granted after doing much deep internal work it is rare today that I ask such things, but I do still realize when the words come off my lips what is actually at play and it has nothing to do with the question asked or my partner.

 

Instead it is 👉ALL ABOUT ME 👈and my own insecurity in the relationship or myself.

 

Here is the reality, we women often are guilty of giving up our power to men when we are in relationship, we do this in so many ways from not being able to make clear decisions when he asks us a questions around what we want/need, we fear hurting his feelings or ego, we get caught up in performance issues, wanting to be perfect all the time, making sure that he believes that he is always pleasing us in bed and will say that there is nothing bothering us in the relationship. Women are great at faking it! All the while we get overly fixated on what he is doing and what’s going on in all areas of his life. We end up operating from a place of diffused hyper focus, meaning we focus on EVERYTHING and see EVERYTHING as a threat.

 

This is giving our power away and not operating from a place of self-love, trust in the relationship or him and only from the defense.

Leading us to needing what might appear like constant validation from him.

 

If you are a woman, in a relationship and guilty of saying any of these following statements or some version of them, then pause for a moment, go internal and breathe into your heart. Hear me now beautiful…

 

 

🥰🌹👉YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO VALIDATE YOU TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!👈🌹🥰

 

💃Does this dress/outfit make me look fat/bad? – Perhaps one of the most common and old statements in the book when talking about women, however there is still a reason for it and that is that we ladies are dang good at setting these traps for our men. Most men today know not to take the bait but I ask you this…

 

How would you feel if he said yes?

A general rule of thumb and emotional maturity understanding in relationship and life is DON’T ASK A QUESTION IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ANSWER.

 

So often we ask questions and then get upset or hurt by the response we get because it’s not in alignment to what we had hoped or wanted, then we finger point and blame the other person for being insensitive to our feelings and needs. This is not a mature response nor is it coming from a place of inner power. It sets us into victimhood and has us wounded around every corner.

 

I can tell you that this question is one you should just avoid.

Especially if you are a sensitive soul. Youmay believe that you want the truth, you want to know his opinion and want to know that he finds you attractive and beautiful but I have discovered over the course of a few relationships that if your man cares about you, desires you and is present with you…

 

💥YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO EVER ASK THIS QUESTION. 💥

 

Instead you will get an unasked for response that is something like this, “Wow babe! You’re stunning/hot/beautiful.”

 

You will see your man light up like you were standing before him naked. His turn on will be obvious.

 

💃Have you noticed anything different about me? – We ask this typically when we cut our hair, got our nails done, bought a new dress, etc. We are looking to see how tuned in he is to the subtle changes that we have made. And we are inquiring because we desire to know that he is focused on us at the level that so many women tend to focus on their man.  Again we are searching for acknowledgement and validation from him to make ourselves feel safe and good.

 

We women need to understand that men are pretty simple creatures. Yes they are deep and complex but they are more hyper focused on what is happening right in front of them then looking at every little detail of what is going on in our lives as women. They are designed to be fixers, leaders and protectors. If anything in these areas arises then they are on it, a knight in shining armour ready to serve the woman he loves.  Your change of lipstick color is not on that list and although he may notice how beautiful you are he may not put 1+1 together that your lips are a different color than yesterday.  Taking offense or thinking he is not being present enough from this is simply expecting a man to observe life more like a woman than the man that he is. 

 

At our core we women understand this, and what we are looking for is a need to be seen, appreciated and told we are beautiful, good, worthy of his love instead of knowing we are loveable and whole just as we are.

 

💃Do you think that woman is prettier than me? – Or some version of this. So many women will set  a trap here too and point out an attractive woman by saying something about the other woman’s dress, hair, eyes or what have you to draw her man’s attention there slyly. Again, be careful what you ask!!!! Most men recognize that his woman is looking for the response, “No babe, you are far more beautiful than her.” 

 

The reason we women ask this is because we are feeling insecure in our bodies or in the relationship. This particular question is a major sign of a fear and insecurity under the surface. Sometimes women who feel their mate might be cheating on them will start to ask these questions and pay great attention to where her man’s eyes are going when out to dinner or other public events. Granted with  affair rates ever escalating in committed relationships of today, there are plenty of good reasons for many women to be on the defense. We women need to realise that one reason out of many for why men cheat is because they are attracted to the confidence of another woman that we have lost. And much like a man who exhibits low-self esteem and confidence, it’s not attractive. Realize that when you as a woman reclaim your own power and focus on self-love and self-validation that you start to radiate again.

 

You must shift the narrative in your head to, ” I don’t need validation or approval from anyone to feel good about myself. I can feel good and love myself.”

 

💃What’s wrong babe? – My partner and I are deeply connected emotionally, mentally, energetically and physically. When he is ‘off’ I feel it right away and I feel insecure right away as well. His offness creates a fear in me that I have done something wrong, set him off, that he is pulling away from me and I have a deep desire to reel him back in. My concern rushes through my body and I start to over analyze myself and him.

 

THAT’S THE TRUTH.

 

I am a human woman. I have my fears and concerns and my baggage. Just like anyone. But this inquiry is still no good, even though I am guilty of offering it up to him more frequently then I should.

 

There are going to be times in relationships that our partner or us are out of sorts. We are going to notice this energetic/emotional change. The feminine wants to inquire, talk about it, emotionalize it, share tears and support each other. We women move through these times by venting. Men on the other hand, not so much.

Men need to be able to go internal and contemplate. They need to navigate their own emotions and thoughts without our neediness to be validated by them while they are problem solving. The one thing you can be certain of with a man who is strong in his masculine energy and who he is, is that if he has an issue he will bring it up pretty quickly. He is not going to let it sit and fester.

 

Most of the time when a man grows distant with his woman for a split second it has nothing to do with her or the relationship.

Again men are more hyper focused on what is right before them, unless they are problem solving a greater picture item or planning the future. However, for most life challenges they are dealing with whatever problem has made itself known in front of them. And this could be related to work, health, house, family, etc.

 

Where we women like to wrap it all together and hyper focus from a more global view making everything about us and the relationship.

 

💃What are you thinking? – This should have been number one or two in truth as it’s right in alignment with the last bullet point. We ladies are notorious for asking our men this question when we feel he is not being present with us and often this happens when he is focused on something else such as a sports game, a work project, or just chilling watching birds. Women in general have more issues with silence than men in relationships. Silence equates to disconnect. The natural feminine wants to be vocal and chit chat. Vent and share.

 

However, the natural mascuiline is about directness. It’s logical and based on what is needed versus taking up space with things that are just wasters of time, energy, or focus.

 

💥MEN FOCUS ON WHAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM.💥

 

So when you step into the path and shift his focus from what he was problem solving, contemplating or him just escaping away to his ‘nothing box’ as Mark Gungor shares in his talk, ‘The Tale of Two Brains” which I highly recommend all men and women who are in relationship or want in relationship listen to the full version of on Youtube, that you are shifting the narrative to:

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

Only says, I am feeling insecure and I need you to validate me and tell me we are good, safe and I am good and safe.

 

👊🤯💃LADIES, ALL OF THESE THINGS REFLECT A LEVEL OF NEEDINESS THAT IS NOT SUPPORTIVE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR YOUR MAN.💃🤯👊

Let alone yourelf.

 

It’s high time, we women get clear on loving ourselves.

 

If we want to live a life of abundance and devote ourselves to love and a soulmate relationship, then we have to do our own deep inner work and know that we are worthy without the validation from anyone else.

 

Consistently, handing over our power in relationships and allowing ourselves to feel this level of insecurity creates a wishy-washy energy and makes us appear less attractive, strong, centered and trust worthy to a high value man.

 

We are more likely to step away from our authentic selves and offer up what we feel will keep the peace or to try and become something that we believe he wants instead of being who we truly are.

 

💥A HIGH VALUE MAN DOES NOT WANT THIS VERSION OF YOU. HE WANTS YOUR AUTHENTIC YES OR NO. HE WANTS YOUR BRILLIANCE AND CONFIDENCE.💥

 

And he most certainly does not want to feel like he is responsible for your emotions.

 

Which he is not!

 

👉Ready to step into a conscious, loving, emotionally mature soulmate relationship?

 

👉Desiring to feel complete in yourself and no longer needing validation from any man?

 

👉Wanting to immerse yourself in the relationship of your dreams but tired of calling in men who cannot hold you?

 

Then it’s time to claim your power.

Reach out to me today to learn the secrets and mysteries of the empowered women.

 

As Always,

Loving you from here.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

5 Secret Turn-Ons To Seduce A High Quality Man.

 

👊👊🌹5 Secret Turn-Ons To Seduce A High Quality Man🌹👊👊

 

Last night over dinner I looked at my man and asked him,

“What have I done differently than other women that makes you want to commit so deeply and go all in with me?”🤔

 

He responded with, “So much.”

 

And then I began to think about it.

I thought of how just this last week he and I were in Half Price Books looking for Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, when we found ourselves drifting up and down the psychology, spiritual, health, finance and self-growth aisles. Inquiring with each other what we had explored in our past. Having read so many of the same books or similar minds we found ourselves once again connecting and understanding each other’s views and why we mirror one another in so many ways.

 

As I looked at this tiny moment from last week I realized that THIS was just it…

 

👉🤯WE ARE BOTH ATTRACTED TO THE MIRROR.👈😍

 

That mirror being that we match each other on so many levels.

It is far past our attraction to one another’s physical or the chemistry that we certainly have.

 

Our lives have brought us through multiple relationships in our past that taught each of us what we valued and what we did not desire in a partnership. Which is often the case as we emotionally mature through our lives.

 

You see often in relationships we find ourselves calling in the opposite of what we want and we cannot figure out 👉WHY👈?

 

It has to be like this.

As long as we resist doing the inner work and remain emotionally immature, focused on only “me” and being right, a victim to life in essence and not taking responsibility for our emotions and the events in our lives then we MUST call in the opposite of what we desire and want so that we can enhance our clarity and build up our emotional maturity.

 

As we mature in the heart and mind and do the inner work to connect us deeper to our soul we start to find different attributes attractive then what we use too.

 

Beauty changes in our eyes. 🌹

 

The other day when we were walking around the bookstore chatting about our reading history and thoughts on topics, one of the books that popped out on the shelves was, “The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz.” We have both read it and it bears with it one of the sexiest things a woman can do to turn-on a man and get him to think long term about her.

 

💋💃🔥CONSISTENCY – This really just always comes back to actions match words and you are consistent about what you say, how you think and the way you act.  The majority of people ( male and female) have challenges around this vital ingredient to building a lasting relationship because they suffer from the belief or thinking of:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not likable or lovable.”

THIS very thought process makes it difficult for the majority of people to be, as The Four Agreements puts it, impeccable with their word.

 

👊Yet this single thing is sexy AF when a man or woman portrays it!

 

💋💃🔥BEING A MF GROWN UP! – Adulting has a heck of a lot more to do with how we play with others then with paying bills and holding a job. Although these things are vitally needed as well, in the land of the heart and emotional maturity, adulting has more to do with 👉HOW WE FIGHT👈.

It’s called conflict resolution.

And the vast majority of people operate from the land of, “I am right, you are wrong.” This is all based in ego and again a need to be validated by another in some fashion.

 

👊What’s ever so attractive is a person who can be an actual grown up and listen as well as accept that the other party’s point is true for them.

 

When both parties can do this for each other you can communicate from a higher vibration based in love and a desire to find resolution versus being right and having the other agree that you are right.

 

There is nothing worse than to find yourself in a mis-communication or some form of friction with your partner and have them tell you that YOU are misconstruing things or are wrong in how you remember it, see it or feel about it. This only builds walls between the two of you, not bridges.

 

Being able to see that others’ views and feelings are just where they are and that you can agree to disagree because you are individuals with different  takes is highly seductive and attractive in looking at a lifelong mate.

 

Being a MF Grown Up is NOT about being right and maintaining the friction until the other person caves to your way of seeing or feeling about something. That is not love based nor emotional maturity. Finding resolution in the relationship is however.

 

💋💃🔥 EASY TO BE A ROUND-  No one enjoys being around someone who has a stick up their booty. It’s simple, friendliness, authentic friendliness not that sugar coated fake stuff is a turn-on.

When a person is uptight, anxious, scared of their own shadow and aquard about doing life and relating it reveals the wounds that they have not yet conquered and dealt with.

 

👉The energy we portray says everything about our inner scape.

 

If you are a woman (or a man) who “thinks” they are easy to get along with, has a big heart but no one accepts it, calls yourself friendly but when you are trying to do a relationship you find yourself getting the opposite of what you want and desire?

 

Look no further than the wounds that you bare still and keep coming back too.

 

You know what they are.

It’s what holds your bitterness, your anger, your pity party, your envy and makes you feel insecure.

Want to authentically be friendly and easy going, let go of that high maintenance attitude… then deal with your inner BS.

Until you do this you will continue to feel like no one appreciates your heart and intentions, cares or values what you have to offer. That jaded view will hold you back from fully embracing your confidence, your own self-love and acceptance and  will make your childish attempts at being seductive, attractive and turned-on to life empty and laughable.

 

👊People who authentically smile from within and love life, feel good in their own skin are attractive AF!

 

💋💃🔥BRING JOY NOT DRAMA – #1 desire of men and what the vast majority will put on their dating profile.

“Looking for a drama free woman.”

 

A high quality man (meaning an emotionally mature man) knows that he is not responsible for you emotionally. 🤯🤯🤯

 

And he finds it DAMN Sexy when you get this too!

He is not wanting you to babysit him or mother him and he does not want to have to take care of you in this fashion either.

This is an extreme level of neediness A.K.A High Maintenance that emotionally mature men don’t find attractive.

 

He wants you to know that you are beautiful, powerful, radiant, sexy AF, a queen without him. If he is what validates these things for you then YOU ARE NOT THEM!!!👊

 

And you will jot have joy streaming from your soul.

Drama happens in life.

It happens to all of us.

What a high value man is looking for in a lifelong partnership and love is a woman who does not look at how she can create it but instead how much joy she can bring into life with or without him and this joy for her life also manifests into her making his heart smile by just being her.

 

💋💃🔥HEALTHY LIFESTYLE =SEXY AF! – Anyone who says that the physical does not matter is blowing smoke up your booty. We are all human and our bodies matter and anyone who counts themselves as being self-loving, accepting and high vibe that is not taking care of their temple is full of malarkey, to say the least.

 

👊Healthy eating, exercise, mindset, taking care of self and wanting to look good, feel good is sexy AF!

 

A high value man values this in himself and wants it in his partner as well.

 

Life is always about investment.

And we each get to choose where we invest.

Mumford and Sons has a great song “Awaken My Soul” where they have one of my favorite lyrics, “Where you invest your love, your invest your life.”

 

As with anything, whatever we choose to water grows.

People who choose to invest their love in health of all arenas live longer, are less sickly, have more stmina for life and sex, have healthier moods, live a more harmonic balalnced life and view things from a bigger picture mindset.

 

Those who make up the excuse of “I don’t have the time, energy, money.” DO NOT VALUE themselves nor life and will never hold a mate that values these things.

 

🔥🔥🔥I get turned-on like no other watching my man work out, eat a healthy meal and/or check himself out in the mirror as to how his arms or abs are looking in a shirt. His pleasure and care for himself shows that he values health and reveals itself in ALL other areas as well. 👈🤯🔥

 

So you say that you want 👉High Value Man👈 yet you yourself beautiful are not value the true jewels of life and relationship!🤯

 

You are still getting caught up in the immature focus points that will only ever lead you to more lessons being offered and suffering from them.

 

Become the 💃High Value Woman💃 that mirrors the man you want for and he will be called into your life with ease as if over night.

 

👉Want to learn the full list of secrets to manifesting your soulmate?

👉Ready to stop accepting less than what you are worthy of?

👉Sick and tired of letting your wounds hold back the love, sex, money and joy that you feel is yours in your gut?

 

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

 

As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

SOULMATE INTIMACY BREEDS TERRITORIALISM AND PROTECTION.

 

😏I WAS NOT GOING TO SHARE THIS PHOTO…😳

 

I was not going to share this photo with you because I took it just for my man. I wanted to keep it intimate and private, for no other’s eyes.

 

You see I took it one morning a few weeks back after he had gone to work. We had enjoyed a most connective weekend together as we usually do and he had worked out in this shirt that I am wearing  the day before.

 

The shirt smelt like him.

I was missing his essence.

I was missing him.

And like I often do in moments like this, I grab this particular shirt of his and wear it all day.

THIS day I wanted him to know that I was taking him everywhere with me. I even wore his sweaty workout shirt to my office to do client appointments….lol

 

AND SO I TOOK THIS PICTURE AND TEXTED IT TO HIM.

 

As you can see, there is nothing to see with this picture.

So outside of the fact that I took it just for him, why would I have an issue sharing this picture until today?

Why would I even be bothered?

 

After all, my business is to be vulnerable with you.

Share details, stories, thought provoking ideas and educate you on soulmate relationships and how to best go about manifesting that deep love, commitment and connection that all of us hunger for.

 

The answer to all of this is in your understanding that until my man walked into my life and made himself known to  my soul, I have never felt a need to protect an intimate relationship before.

I have never felt territorial and protective.

I have never had the thought,

 

🙏”This relationship, this moment is sacred to my soul and must be cherished and protected.”🙏

 

I have been an open book for the most part about my marriage of almost 20 years, my divorce, my affair in that marriage, the rape that I expereinced, the open relationship that followed that marriage and all the men that I have dated and explored. I have taught classes on open/poly style relationships, I have taught on “living the orgasmic life” and how important transparency and freedom is. I have shared all of myself with my followers at this level and those that I have worked with over the last almost two decades.

 

And now I share my heart and soul about truly being elevated by a soulmate love like I never thought was possible. I had read about it.

Heard about it in the many spiritual books and studies through the years that I had done and I craved it with every fiber of my being.

 

Craved it so much so,

that I attempted to believe that I had it in another and was heartbroken when I discovered how fake that relationship was.

 

And did not believe that it was possible or that I was deserving of it so much so, that I allowed myself to settle into a few relationships that were so out of alignment to my soul that all I can say is that those were insightful lessons of self-discovery that I could never have deliberately searched out.

 

Thank heavens for those rocky relationships and all that I experienced there and learned. Because the reality is that without those relationships and tough lessons about self and soul alignment, without the universe stepping in and breaking things up the way that it did, I would not be aligned to my man today.

 

😳I WOULD HAVE MISSED HIM.😟

 

And in truth, I did miss him…

You see the universe is a strange and humourous place.

Both him and I lived a few times over just blocks from each other as we bounced around the Seattle area doing life there in the same years.

We frequented the same coffee locations and stores.

We might have spoken in a line while waiting on a latte.🤣

 

Then somehow we both found ourselves in Texas.

And we found ourselves in a wound from a relationship.

Both lost in our hearts and souls, armoured up to the point that when we actually met, we did not recognize each other at that deep soul level.

 

The armour was so heavy that we pushed away from each other without recognition or pain, only to go do our own work on self.

 

And this is what we did.

We each worked on ourselves.

Until the work became about us taking the next step to heal together and to drop those guards fully.

And so a few years back we came together as though for the first time. And from the first few meetings our souls began to sing a song to each other about  love, commitment of lifetimes and a deep connection that was entwined through time and space.

 

🙏🥰I found myself in the stillness of moments together looking into his eyes and saying, “YES.”

 

He would chuckle and say be careful what you say yes to.

And I would just respond with that was from my soul.

My soul wants you to know that I am a yes. 🙏🥰

 

I KNEW WHAT I WAS SAYING YES TO…

IT WAS YES TO UNITING WITH HIM FULLY.

GOING ALL IN.

 

I could feel the collapse of thousands of years upon us, melding us together and the knowing that still stirs through my core today each moment is brilliantly delicious and confirming.

 

Now my outside world is readjusting to my heart and soul.

There is much cleanup and repairs that are unway in my business life, my friendships, my family and even shadows that lurk from my past. All that learning about self, those lessons that had to be given, they all bare with them a weight that is being purged.

Almost as karmic debt from a millennia is being wiped away as he and I go deeper.

 

Standing here in the light of all this love, basking in the reality that we are together and that this sacredness that I feel is precious beyond measure.

 

Bringing with it the desire to protect.

The need to consistently make a stand against the shadows that arise and try to steal the brilliance, the love, the connection.

 

My thought this morning while walking, hand in hand with him,

This is an intimacy.

 

And intimacy by definition is about a depth in vulnerability, openness and connection that can only be developed to its fullness when both parties are merged spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

 

As history reveals, such a sacredness in anything is often under attack. We humans as much as we hunger for love, connection, sacredness, our soulmates or anything that feels of the divine nature, we also have urges to destroy and cause chaos when we witness others than ourselves enjoying these delicacies of life.

 

There is a recognition that we have to have in relationships or anything that we are striving for and believe that we have encountered. This is the recognition of territorialism vs. jealousy.

and protection vs. control.

 

👉One is from soul, the other from ego. 👈

 

By doing the inner work on self and aligning to your truth, to your core you will be able to identify with greater ease which you are operating from.

You will feel and witness your inner realms and be able to address if you are just trying to control, please, manage, manipulate or avoid.

OR if you are addressing issues, shadows and maskings that have covered you for years and karmic debts that must be washed away in order for the union with such a sacred relationship to manifest and become rock solid.

 

However THIS my beautiful reader requires your desire to step forth in courage and meet yourself.

To see yourself in all your shadows and light.

To embrace your inner demons and your past, even finding gratitude for all the unpleasantries that you have experienced.

You must capture your truth.

And the only way to do this is to dive deep into who you are at your soul’s core.

 

From here…

you elevate yourself in love and thus call in your soulmate.

Ready to and able to see you.

 

Want to learn more on how to call in your soulmate love and unite with self at this depth so you too can heal, gain life fulfillment and find that joy that you crave?

 

Reach out to me today in the comments to find out more.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

 

It’s every girl’s dream right?

To wake up wrapped in the one’s arms that you just cannot get enough of. 

That you find yourself just wanting to go deeper with, reveal all of yourself too. 

 

This morning I rolled into my man’s arms and put my head on his chest, smiled, took a deep breath and just relaxed into him. 

 

His presence of being, in his heart and how stable he is puts all my concerns and fears at bay. 

His strength in who he is and in life, even in the chaos brings me peace and direction. 

His smiling eye’s ignite my soul in love. 

His warmth and touch, leads me into greater surrender. 

His inquisitive nature confirms his desire to know me more and to see me in all my radiance. 

 

So what allows me to lean into him?

To open myself up at these levels of not just my physical, sexual being but also to want to merge with him emotionally? Mentally? In confidence of all that is me?

 

How can a woman who has been through divorce, physical assault, rape and more trust the masculine with all her depths?

 

Over and over again, I hear women share how they love their husbands and boyfriends. That they believe that he is “the one.” However, then they speak of not being able to really be themselves. They hide. They mask. They fake it. They say that their orgasm is great, but that they have to use a vibrator to achieve it or that only through oral they gain it.  They tell me how they could never say the truth of their fears and body image to their partner. They speak about how they cannot imagine ever being with anyone else but then say how he does not hear her, see her, understand. 

 

She loves him, but he does not know how to touch her.

Not physically or sexually. 

Not menatlly or emotionally. 

Not spiritually. 

 

He does not harbor a safe home for her. 

So what makes a woman feel safe? 

So safe with her man that she drops her armour and speaks her truth?

That she trusts that he will catch her without doubt?

 

Women want to feel: 

*Sexy

*Unique

*Safe

And her walls only come down when she feels all three of these. 

In today’s relationships, women may feel sexy at times. 

Often they feel more like they must be sexy to get what they want, or that it is only their sex that will attract and commit a partner. 

They do not truly feel sexy however, in their own skin because our culture has trained us that we are never enough and in the same too much. We women compare ourselves to all the things that the world deems beautiful, strong and desirable and often find ourselves falling short in more than one area. 

 

Our uniqueness is overlooked by all including ourselves and so we have reached a space in time and society evolution where we are working hard to make uniqueness about being like everyone else. There are no more winners and losers, no more acceptance that we are not all created equal. In our pursuit to have fairness and kindness, acceptance for all, we have also lost the gift of uniqueness. We see this even in our intimate relationships, where people no longer want to “claim each other” because we have decided that marriage and commitment equal control and limiting each other. But what we are actually saying is, “ I can take you or leave you, no wow factor here, nothing special or unique.”

Both men and women at our core want to be desired and not just for our sex, but for who we are as individuals. We want our partners to desire our essence and love us fully. Accept us as we are and see our radiance. Yet this radiance can only truly be seen if we embrace our uniqueness and stop making it unkind to know that we are different and not created equal. 

 

Safety is primary to the femine to be able to drop down and trust in life, in her relationship, in her sexing, in her emotions and all that we do. Yet, there is limited safety when we are attempting to be and do everything without the support of anyone else, especially a partner. There is zero safety in today’s world as we overload ourselves with surpressnets and hormone `balancers” so that we can mask our truth and not address the true nature of any problem. As long as we continue to not trust our intuition, our critical thinking or what we are witnessing in our manifestation nor take responsibility for the lives that we are creating, we will not feel safe. Safety from the masculine comes secondary to how we women trust ourselves. 

We can not trust the man that we are with if we do not trust our judgements and feelings. If we do not truly know who we are and what our boundaries and non-negotiables are. If we can speak up and let our vulnerability be heard.

 

To wake up in love, means that we are waking up in love with the lives that we have manifested. 

Owning who we are as women. 

 

To wake up in gratitude of being wrapped in the arms of our partner, who supports us, cherishes us, respects us and loves us fully just for being us, means that we have trusted the power of our manifestation to call in the sort of masculine who knows himself too at this level and is worthy of our trust, respect and heart. 

 

This man will on;y come to us when we find this space inside of ourselves. 

When we have learned to love all of our shadows and no longer stand in victimhood, but in queenhood. 

 

This is how we find our true soulmate.

This Is how we fall in love with life. 

Every moment of it, even the cloudy days.

This Is how we wake up in love every day.

 

It requires your heart and desire to take the steps inward and go on the great’s adventure of your life though. 

It requires you to want that love more than anything else. 

It requires you to have the courage to meet the person that you have been searching for all these years…

It requires you to find you. 

 

Are you ready my love?

Walk with me. 

Let’s adventure together and discover you.

Beautiful, magical, powerful, sexy, unique, full of appreciation, trust and creativity. 

YOU.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.