I WANT TO NEED HIM – The Tale of Today’s Feminine Surrender.

I WANT TO NEED HIM.

 

This is a statement that a woman made to me as we were speaking about her couple-hood.

 

As I listened to her tale of desire to want to need her man,

that she believed that this is the way that we were designed,

and that so much of our discontent in relationships and life as well as not knowing ourselves comes from this very belief that we women “should not” need men.

That we are just as good and can balance life without a significant other, I thought to myself,

 

SHE IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

 

Women have burdened themselves with the disease of believing that we don’t need men, that it is a sign of weakness. That we are lower than human if we rely on our male counterparts. Or that if we are relying on them that we are selling ourselves for a lifestyle, for safety.

 

And so many women do, do just this.

They settle into relationships not for soul union, not for love, but for comfort and safety. They look at the man’s resume, not his heart.

 

These women are indeed selling themselves.

They are becoming slaves to a lifestyle and a comfort.

They are not acting from soul or love.

 

And to them I could write a million lines,

but today I am addressing the women who are afraid of being perceived this way.

So much so, that they armour themselves from beautiful relationships, they fight to be seen strong at all cost, they feel weak at the thought of receiving help from their man. They do not know how to be supported by the masculine.

 

I am one of these women.

So I share from the depths of my feminine heart on this topic.

I am one of those women that has a ridiculous time receiving from my man.  I have learned through the years to allow him to open doors, to help grab the groceries, to let him help me in house and home. I have gotten over him not cumming every time we make love or him focusing all his attention on my pleasure and not receiving physically in times.

 

I have learned that  his pleasure sometimes is all about my receiving in our sexual union.

 

I  have learned that he loves to witness me in rapture.

That he feels great pleasure and satisfaction in my bliss.

In what he gives to me.

 

But, when it comes to money.

When it comes to bills.

When it comes to buying the groceries.

Medical things.

Needs.

 

Even if it is a trinket that I have my eye on and he asks me, do you want that? He is ready to purchase it for me. He wants to bring me pleasure. He wants to see me adorned. He wants my happiness.

I know this. But I feel like I am taking from him.

That I should not need this.

That it is not okay.

That he will perceive me as a woman who is there for the financial support.

 

And I am scared to lean on him.

I am scared that he will see me as weak.

As needy.

That my heart and love will be missed some how,

that my truth that  I have only eyes and desire for him will be washed over in some way because he has “helped” me.

 

When in truth, it is not even him helping me.

It is a union.

It is a team.

It is US, supporting the whole together.

And it is my pride that stands in the way of the full union.

It is my pride that screams that I should not need him, all the while my soul feels just like the woman above.

 

I WANT TO NEED HIM.

Because I DO!

 

I need his strong masculine guidance.

His leadership.

His logic.

His foresight.

I need his looks of love and adoration.

I need his tenderness.

His humor.

I need his touch.

I need his heart.

I need him to need me.

 

And I do not look at him as though he is weak for wanting me.

Or for needing me.

I know that he needs my feminine heart,

my emotions and touch.

He needs to see my rapture and my tears so he can fully feel who he is at his depth as well.

 

I know that he wants to need me.

 

We both have lived without each other just fine.

We both have been more than capable of living life and supporting our loved ones, building lives, businesses and we could easily choose to continue to do just that.

 

But the union of the masculine and the feminine when done by soul, is a union of desire to be together because together we are stronger.

Together we feel more.

We heal deeper.

We expand fully.

 

It’s not about money or security.

Although together we thrive all the more as well.

 

It’s not about weakness in coming together.

Or comfort.

 

It’s uncomfortable in truth to be vulnerable and wide open with someone. To have no hold backs.

To feel as though there are no barriers,

nothing you do not want seen or felt.

To want to be witnessed at the deepest levels by your mate,

is uncomfortable AF!

 

There is no hiding here.

And we women, hold back from needing our men deeply,

and wanting to need them,

we in turn tell God/Universe that we don’t need them either.

 

It’s hypocritical of us women to say that we are these brilliant life givers, thus manifestors, creators, powerhouses and to know that we are vessels born to receive and then say NO to receiving because we deem it a weakness because it comes from our man.

 

How are we to ever fully become our greatest selves if we consistently deny our receiving, our pleasure, support, love from the great masculine?

 

No wonder we women are lost. 

No wonder so many of us are bitter, non-orgasmic, always choose the wrong man who lets us down. 

We should expect all of this and know that we have set ourselves up for suffering in love, 

To never feel fully loved or cherished because we are not cherishing ourselves. 

It is through our ability to lean into the masculine, to open our hearts and put down our armour with a man that holds us close and wants to need us as well, who gets that he is our king, our knight, our protector and great lover. That through his honor and ability to carry us deeper into ourselves that we find ourselves. 

 

 

It is my belief, and a belief that “just might” be backed by a few spiritual scriptures and structures out there as well, that we are meant to support each other. The equal yoking of the masculine and feminine. 

 

THE DESIRE TO BE ROMANCED LIES DEEP IN THE HEART OF EVERY WOMAN.

IT IS FOR SUCH THAT YOU WERE MADE.

 

I love this quote by John Eldredge.

 

However, for us to  have that desire manifest, we women must open ourselves to God first, 

We must learn to listen to our hearts, our soul, our intuition. We must then open ourselves and lay down the shields and swords of our wounded little girls and let the conscious masculine hold us. 

Love us. 

See us fully. 

We must be open to needing him. 

And we must want to need him. 

 

It is only through our wanting, 

And our understanding that, that wanting is not a weakness but a powerful space of abundance, flow and love, 

That we gain the opportunity to experience true soul union.

 

Our union with our man mirrors our union with the divine, with God.

The trust we show our mate, 

The surrender, 

The rapture, 

The need, 

The wanting.

 

We captivate our men for a reason.

It is because through us he feels life.

 

And we are lifted by his true heart and desire to serve us.

So if you are a woman like myself who struggles with receiving from the masculine, 

If you feel weak or like you will be misperceived in your wanting of his support, his love, his attention, look no further than your heart. 

Ask your truth there. 

And see him as God.

Wanting your rapture in all of life. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

WHEN WE ARE WILLING TO HARM OURSELVES FOR LOVE.

WHEN WE ARE WILLING TO HARM OURSELVES FOR LOVE.
 
Or so we tell ourselves that this is what we are doing.
We say that we would do anything for the one that we love.
We say that we just want them to be happy.
We say that we are willing to put aside our needs, boundaries, wants, etc.
and often we do.
 
Then we sit back and let our love kick us in the gut with what they want.
We sit there watching them doing what they want,
what they “need” and what we agreed to but we question how it is possible for them to be alright with doing whatever it is,
TO US.
 
And what are we really wanting from our lover at this moment?
We are wanting them to put us first.
We are wanting to know that they would do the same for us.
Meaning not that they would offer the same experience back,
but that they would actually sacrifice this “thing” for us.
 
That they see us as enough.
That they desire us, just as is without whatever else they may be wanting.
We want them to see our pain and then not want us to be in it at their hand, so prevent it. Protect us.
 
We want to be the MOST IMPORTANT THING.
And yet we are so often quick to set aside ourselves and allow the space for our mates, our lovers to be themselves. To enjoy what they need and want, to get the healing that they need however they need…
and we do it willinging at the cost of our own self-esteem and respect.
 
Sadly once we humans start to allow our respect and esteem to be stripped away in relationships, we lose ourselves and in doing that we lose the intimacy and connection we once had to self and our partner thus we lose the relationship.
 
How can we expect our partner to respect us if we do not respect ourselves enough to set a healthy boundary and know when we are a NO?
 
So instead…
 
Not wanting to control our love.
Not wanting to be conditional.
Not wanting to appear weak or jealous.
We say yes.
 
A death sentence to most relationships.
Pain and bitterness build up with a sweet smile of fake acceptance and a nod of fake approval.
Our emotional bank accounts go in the red with each pain stabbing event that takes place,
and we wonder over time where the love went?
We wonder why it’s never enough giving and accepting?
We wonder when our pain will come to an end?
 
Or if it ever will.
Believing that we are strong enough to withhold,
we attempt to stand strong and support our partner.
 
But an empty beam has no strength to support anything substantial.
 
In the name of love we exhaust ourselves until we break.
 
THIS is the tale of so many love stories gone wrong.
In working with thousands of couples over the last couple decades I have repeatedly been witness to this traumatic saga.
 
There is hope.
There are solutions.
You can repair the shattered hearts and ego’s.
You can reconnect at a deep soul level and recapture trust and respect in your intimate relationship.
 
But it requires a desire to step out of the comfort and lies you are telling yourself that you are doing this for your love.
 
That this is what love is even.
 
Love is not about sacrificing yourself to the point of no return.
Love is not about denying yourself respect in a relationship.
Love is not about embracing constant pain from your mate.
 
A healthy, harmonious love relationship understands that we are in a relationship to heal at a deeper level.
It understands that we both enter a relationship with baggage and that that baggage will get triggered repeatedly by our mate.
It sees this, accepts this but knows that loving communication that is focused on problem solving NOT being right or understood is key to a successful, happy and soul connected relationship.
It knows that saying yes when we are a no of any level, will do more damage than good.
 
It does not play games of take away,
it does not hide from its truth or from confrontation.
It comes to the relationship wanting to connect deeper,
to love deeper and to expand in that love.
 
Relationship is said to be hard,
I believe that relationship is easy.
It’s not difficult getting into one,
It’s not even that difficult to get out of one.
What’s hard is communicating our authentic YES and NO and having faith that it will be accepted by our loved one.
 
What is even more challenging is consciously hearing in love our partners YES and NO.
Relationship is a clarifying tool to our lives,
It helps us to see who we really are, what we really want in life,
Where we have been settling for so little and how much expansion we have still to gain from.
 
True love centered relating comes from putting our ego’s to the side to the best of our abilities and wanting to hear and feel where our partner is at in any given situation. It is sitting in compassion with ourselves and our mate, not in pity, fear, shame, guilt or blame.
 
Realize that in times you fear loss and pain in your relationship that you are stepping away from your heart space, you are no longer hearing yourself or your partner authentically because your ego has run away with your ears and mouth. You are ten steps ahead of what they are trying to share because you are not being present with them or yourself but instead are assuming you already know and are trying to solve the problem alone. You did not arrive here alone! And you will never solve the problem as long as you are acting from the energy of the problem.
 
Look into your heart today and see where you are stepping away from your heart, away from your relationship and love and allowing yourself to act from pain.
 
How is this serving your relationship?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.
 
This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.

THIS IS THE MOST UNDERVALUED THING IN LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE TODAY.

THANK HEAVENS MY GRANDSON’S HEART TRANSPLANT WAS DONE BY AN EXCELLENT SURGEON WITH EXPERIENCE.
Right?
I mean can you imagine if the task had been handed over to a store clerk or a mechanic?
That sounds crazy right?
We would never allow that to happen.
Surgery of any kind is serious business.
It’s our health, our life.
It bears serious implications if not done well.
So of course you would never think to turn over the knife to someone who does not know how to use it or understand the human body.
Yet we do this frequently in other parts of our life.
We do it with ease.
We do not even stop to hesitate.
We just lay it all down and take the best priced option typically.
Or the quickest sounding.
We may ask if they have understanding, experience or degrees but we don’t slow down and actually inquire about their hands on knowledge.
And depending on what area of life you are asking for help and guidance in, the person you are turning toward may need certain skill sets or wisdom about what “could” happen or how things work in the real world, not just what they read in a textbook or saw on a training video.
I would say that you get what you pay for,
However our new world which has an on sloth of “experts ” and “guru’s” reveals something totally different in my opinion.
Being part of many coaching communities I see tons of new coaches coming on board, building their businesses, working with people, learning from mistakes as we all do and also getting told,
“Just proclaim yourself an expert in the field and you are one.”
This is the truth though.
If someone proclaims themselves such.
If someone shows up enough on social media and in livestreams.
If someone writes well and can be believable to some level.
If someone puts on the face that others want to see for that trade.
THEN…
They are experts.
They suddenly have wisdom that they did not earn.
They suddenly can just lean on tales they have heard as their own and make others believers of their experiences.
They are foxy little wolves in sheeps clothing for sure.
And this is what our world is full of.
It’s frustrating to myself and I am sure to others out there in the world who see this occurrence happening daily.
We see the damage that it causes.
The relationships that it destroys.
The pain and suffering that individuals are going through because of poor leadership and guidance.
But we as a society do not value experience.
REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE.
We want the virgin to give us the mind blowing sex tips.
We want the priest to tell us what to expect in the delivery room.
We want the mechanic to tell us how to build our health practice.
We want the person who has never been in a relationship to share the best strategies on how to deal with our mate.
We want the person who eats nothing but fast food and is sedentary to show us how to get the body and health of our dreams.
It’s worse than asking the devil for the steps to get to the kingdom of heaven. Sure he may know them, but is he likely going to share them? And what he does share are you going to blindly trust because he says I know God.
At least the devil does know God.
Is a fallen angel.
And does know what it takes to get there.
But we rely on those who do not know their bum from a hole in the ground for vital, life altering guidance in so many areas of life and we do so just because they have proclaimed something.
Because we are to effing lazy to inquire.
To pay attention.
To do the research.
To listen to our intuition about someone.
Or we hand the reins over because they are cheaper or claim to get quicker results.
Or give us answers that feel more comfortable than the truth.
They were nice.
They were pretty.
They had a nice voice.
I liked their shirt.
Experience.
It truly is the most undervalued thing we have these days.
We do not value wisdom.
We have lost ourselves in some strange concept that youthfulness is powerful and wise.
Wisdom is built on the foundation of failure.
And failure only comes from life experience.
Learning what works and what does not.
Wisdom, life skill, understanding…
TAKES TIME.
But you want it quick.
You want it handed to you.
And that will cost you dearly.
But at least you may learn from your error and gain wisdom.
Right?
So there is something good after all to come from choosing poor leadership and guidance.
What area are you feeling you may need support in?
What subject area of your life needs guidance from someone who has walked there before and come through the thick of it only to rise back into the light, a stronger, more wise soul?
Will you choose wisely those you allow to guide your life, your love, your money, your freedom and health?
Or will you do what is easiest?
As Always,
In service.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.
This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.

One Man’s Miracle Is Another Man’s Misery.

ONE MAN’S MIRACLE IS ANOTHER MAN’S MISERY.
A life for a life was the statement that was made in a show I was watching last night.
And with this statement I found myself sending out a deep heartfelt prayer for the family who lost their sweet two year old child yesterday. This family who lost the life of their baby, I do not know.
In truth they would have never meant anything to me other than being my fellow human beings and only wanting the best for all.
However, yesterday this family became a blessing.
A life saver.
Their child was the miracle that was needed for my family.
And in their sacrifice, another life was offered hope.
As I fell asleep last night, awaiting the news of my grandson’s heart transplant surgery I was caught here between the realms of excitement and joy blended with anguish.
The reality that it was truly a case of a life for a life.
That both could not,
cannot exist here in our physical existence together.
Both children cannot have an opportunity to live.
That they must come together in an essence and create one life.
Amazing what our medical advancements offer us.
It’s magical.
It’s a miracle.
And it is great pain and suffering.
I fell asleep worried about my grandson,
praying for no complications, for a speedy surgery.
And I fell asleep with a pain for the loss that this miracle family must be going through at this very moment.
The life altering, never imagined event.
The sun rose this morning with beautiful news for my grandson.
And my heart smiled for my daughter and son-in-law.
My soul rejoyced at the good news.
And I thanked the heavens for the blessing, knowing that it was still a long journey ahead, but that this was a pivotal moment.
As I listened to the birds singing their morning song, staring into the flames of the fire I was sitting by,
I realized that THIS is always the case.
A LIFE FOR A LIFE.
We can never receive the life that we desire,
we can never live our dreams,
we cannot thrive,
without giving up our life first.
The life that we have become so familiar with.
The life that has brought us to where we are now.
Yes.
This life we must sacrifice.
We must offer it up at the altar to the life that we desire to live if we want to even have a chance at living out our dreams.
And so it is.
So is the hero’s journey.
The journey of the soul.
The journey of you and I.
Much like the blessing of a new heart for my grandson,
where another child had to leave this earth and not live,
so that my grandson could be offered the hope, the chance of more years to walk this earth and live,
You too must give up your life that you have been so comforted in to expand.
To have.
To do.
To be.
These little deaths of who we are must happen.
They are the ONLY WAY.
And they may feel like great suffering and misery.
They will bear with them much fear and doubt.
You will be altered by these little deaths.
And you will feel tested.
You will question, “why?”
You will wonder and feel it is unfair.
You will feel abandoned and lost.
You will weep at the loss of all that you were.
And when you awake from your slumber one morning,
and look around your world,
you too will rejoice.
You will be in gratitude for all that you were,
for all that you learned,
for all that you suffered.
You will see the miracle of this life.
And you will realize too that it is always the case…
A life for a life, because not one of us can remain who we are and expect to live the life we were born to live in the same mindset, the vibration that we are currently in.
We must transform.
We must let go of all that we know.
We must make the familiar, unfamiliar.
And the unfamiliar, familiar.
If we are to LIVE.
To THRIVE.
Today look at your life and allow yourself to explore where you are holding onto all that you are fearful of letting go of, but is holding you back and ask yourself if you are ready to say yes…
YES to living UNBOUND.
YES to living your DREAMS.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ready to take action and stop shrinking yourself???
Maybe not.
Maybe so.
If so then it’s time to take action alright and messge me today for a FREE Clarity Call. In this eye openning, game changing call you will discover what you are truly desiring, whats holding you back and the next steps to take to get you moving with speed toward your desired love, money and freedom!
But ONLY if you act now and grab one of the ten spot’s open for this FREE offer.
 
Photo Credit DandelionImages

PERCEPTION IS REALITY AND YES IT EFFECTS YOUR HAPPINESS.

PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

And Jesus could not do miracles in his home town because of this.

 

My ex-husband always hated it when I said this to him. He would argue with me that we are not responsible for how others view us and that it does not matter either. He would tell me repeatedly that all that mattered was how we saw ourselves.

 

If we believed that we were showing up a certain way,

THEN WE WERE.

 

Well, I still stand firm with the idea that perception is reality.

It may not be truth, granted… but it sure the f-ck is reality to those that are perceiving and here is how it impacts us when we are perceived in any fashion.

 

I first want to state that Einstein brought this point to light when he spoke about how reality is an illusion, quantum physics supports this by revealing to us that our perception… Our witnessing of reality in nature or life in general is the determining factor to our outcomes.

 

The law of attraction is based on this very concept in truth, that perception is reality.

 

Now we are speaking about our personal perception here to our worlds and what we desire to have as an outcome, which supports my ex-husbands belief structure that others perception does not matter, only our own view of our world and being in alignment to US is what makes our reality.

 

What if the world around us see’s us in one way and we do not agree with it though? That we do not even see it?

 

The illusion of the reality of our outside world although still an illusion perhaps,  albeit a persistent one. Is the reality that we are facing.

 

When we receive a message from this outside perspective it is our duty to self to explore its possibilities when we are faced with it more then once. 

 

Realizing that we are always receiving the perfect message, the perfect lesson at the perfect time of our lives is helpful in such moments, as  often when we have to address outside perceptions that differ with our own inner sight on things, it can be painful and scary. The most loving and responsible thing we can do as individuals is to realize that if something keeps coming back to us, and especially when it comes from multiple sources that maybe, just maybe we as the common denominator are creating it somehow.

 

Now we can say all day long that it is not our responsibility as to how others see us.

 

But I challenge you on this way of believing because relationships with others and our world around us creates our very lives. 

 

I deal with this matter of perception frequently in my life.

For years as a tantra and sex and relationship coach in open relationships and being very playful and uninhabited in my exploration I created an energy that said that I was all about free love. That I was into swinging, f-ck buddies and NOT monogomous at all.  I spoke about openness, I lived it, I breathed it and I enjoyed it, then one day it was not feeding my soul any longer and I slowed my roll. I became monogamish you could say. I let go of all the old lovers and play friends, the adventure sex, etc. but I kept up the talk, the workshops on it and the energy covered me still.

 

Fast forward…

I changed relationships and got into a deeply heart centered, soul aligned relationship with a man that I was deeply drawn to with every fiber of my being, and where that left me was wanting nothing but him. I no longer craved the outside adventures. I only wanted our sex, our union and without reservation or hesitation my whole being flipped to hard core monogamous. To the point that I would be deeply hurt at this moment if it was even suggested to change.

 

That is where I am, currently.

 

Now, the outside world still has not caught up to where I am.

I am still being made offers from old lovers to come play.

I am still being made offers by friends and acquaintances to come swing.

I am still being made offers for three-somes.

I am still being hit on and the assumption from friends, family and the outside world is that I am not in a committed monogamous relationship.

 

And even though my life is vastly different.

And my desire is what it is.

The world is having trouble seeing me as such.

 

Now I can say tough sh*t to how the world sees me, it does not matter. I know where I am. That is all that matters. Stay aligned to self and all will work out.

 

But here is the thing, in order to heal this and to stay aligned to self I must address how I am showing up in the world and with the people I relate to.

 

Over the course of the last half a year almost I have been working advertently on perception.

 

I have had to get very authentic with myself and willing to call bullsh*t on myself as to where I have been remaining blind to my old patterns and habits and how these old patterns and habits have me showing up that is causing part of the perception issue that is at hand in my life.

 

If I just turn my back to these perceptions I will end up creating chaos, frustration  and suffering as well as unalignment to self because without taking responsibility for my part in the perception I will continue to do the things that are supporting it and this will in turn not make me happy.

 

When our outside world perceives us in a way that we do not like over the course of time we will have doubt, pain and bitterness manifest within ourselves. These low frequency emotions keep us out of alignment to soul unless we recognize them for what they are.

 

Addressing our responsibility and setting appropriate personal boundaries with self and our world is what must happen in order to create a new perception over the course of time.

 

Much like anything it does take time to change perception.

It takes time to show that we have changed, transformed and our outside world follows our inner world.

 

But if we simply continue to act and say that others perceptions have no effect on our reality, then we are choosing to remain blind to our part in the co-manifestation of our lives and we create a victim mindset toward how life is showing up for us.

 

Owning our part and acting on new patterns gives us power.

 

So if you find yourself in a perception battle,

and you question how someone,

or how the world around you sees you as something that you are not.

Know that you are responsible for those perceptions,

and responsible for changing them as well if they do not serve your greatest happiness.

if the relationships that bring them to you,

mean nothing,

then walk away and start afresh.

If the relationships are ones you desire to heal and keep,

then know that it will take time,

and only your actions and how you choose to reveal yourself and show up will create the perception and truth that you want for.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

FAR FROM F-CKING PERFECT…

FAR FROM F-CKING PERFECT.

That’s what I am.
And no matter where one goes,
There one still is.

That’s the life lesson we all need to learn.
Funny how we want to hide and mask who we are. We want to put under cover our imperfections or ride on the coat tails of those things that truly don’t make us who we are.
We want to flaunt our genius and our trauma.
In hopes that others will think grander of what we have overcome, when in truth the most powerful soul aligned and beautiful thing we can ever do is surrender to our perfectly imperfect humanness.

That surrender is shown with our ability to laugh and let go of all our needs of acting like we got it all goin’ on and perfect.
As though we have no troubles,
We have no doubts.
We have life figured out.
As though we know ourselves when the last thing we ever reveal is truth in who we are.

The soul that let’s the ego stand embarrassed is a soul on fire with self-love.

If you are anything like me,
You may find yourself looking in the mirror,
Judging yourself.
Your body.
Your finances.
Your life choices.
You may make excuses and call bullsh*t on yourself all in the same moment.

You may sit with your lover and wonder what they see in you.
Why are they still hanging out?
And in the same feel ever so grateful for the unconditional deep love they bring you into.

You may find yourself not wanting to mess up in life.
You may be super self critical and know that there is so much more that you could be and should be doing, hoping that no one discovers just how human you really are.

How far from f-cking perfect you actually reside.

Oh but baby,
You know what is beautiful beyond measure?
You know what show’s courage and strength like no other?

Taking the mask down.
Allowing yourself to see all those imperfections and loving yourself all the more.
Letting joy and play bless your life,
Knowing that when you truly connect,
Armour down with those you love,
That this is soul alignment.

That feeling.
That feeling of beauty that washes through you.
That feeling of happiness that shows itself upon your face.
That feeling of love that fills your heart.
That is truly who you are,
When you stand revealed in authenticity.

That is your soul aligned.
That is your truth.

And when you hide and run from what you deem imperfections, flaws and weakness you hide from YOU.
You hide from your strength.
Your Love.
And you stand in armour before those you love.

So go now,
Look in the mirror of self-criticism and hatred,
Smile into those beautiful eyes of yours,
Run your hands across that body in gratitude for the temple that it is and all that it allows you to experience.
Stand there and speak up your life.
Speak up your heart.
Speak up your truth,
And laugh at all those human imperfections.

You are beautiful beyond measure.

In love from my f-cking imperfect temple to yours,
Remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

WOMAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

AS THE SAYING GOES… EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

 

Some days however this forty-four year mama of seven has a tough f-cking time loving the skin I am in.

 

Some days all I can see are the stretch marks,

that my breasts are not as perky as I wish they were.

 

All I see are the few extra pounds,

the “love handles” that I do not love.

The jiggle and the wiggle of what I want to be lean and firm.

 

All I see is how imperfect this skin is.

And here I AM…

In it.

Each day is a challenge to balance body well-being, work and motherhood.

Add in my desire to connect daily with my man and I find it often extremely difficult to stay focused on the practices that I know help me to love the skin that I am in and see my inner radiance and my sexyiness as a woman who has given life multiple times over.

 

Yesterday I felt GORGEOUS.

Today I struggle.

 

My children yelp for my attention.

They fight and bicker as siblings do.

I look about this house of mine with all the chores that need completed. My list grows ever longer with work items, clients that need attention, friends that need support, taxes that need finished, and laundry… there is always laundry and dishes.

Today I see nothing but the drudgery of this day.

Trapped here in this body that as I pass a mirror I am frustrated with.

The scale never says what I want.

The skinny jeans that I am holding on to with hope of fitting in once again are collecting dust as they nag me from my closet shelf.

 

I pass by a mirror,

check myself out,

and huff.

 

That is today.

 

Yesterday, I was lean, strong, turned on and felt full of desire for life.

For my man.

For our future together.

I was a rapture of juiciness and love.

I stretched my body out in the clean white sheets of our bed,

feeling each muscle move and open.

I arched my back and opened my chest to the heavens and drew my man in to kiss on it.

I felt yummy.

I felt beautiful.

I wanted to be in my skin.

And with that love and want my day was smooth and peaceful, passionate and fulfilling.

I felt no hast.

No stress.

Only good vibes.

 

That was yesterday.

 

I am all of this, all the time.

As each woman is.

 

Our bodies and how we feel in them from waking to falling back asleep again has a radical impact on our life views and the energy that we put out into this world.

 

When we women feel yummy and juicy in our bodies.

When we are turned on to life, to our partners and to ourselves,

our worlds are juicy and supportive of our natural creative abilities.

Our view on life is expansive and we are strong in whom we are.

When we love the skin that we are in.

We are powerful.

 

EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

 

And this is very true.

Our tiger stripes of pride,

our crows feet of laughter and wisdom.

Every grey hair and random hormone one that pops up where hair should never be.

 

We wrestle with our ego’s.

We fear that we are not desirable.

Not lovable,

if we are not what we deem perfect.

See the world appreciating on social media, magazines and TV.

 

Big booties.

Small booties.

Big breasts.

Small breasts.

Real or fake.

 

Depending on what season we are in,

we are told what our beauty standards should be and how we should aim to meet them.

 

To be beautiful is to be young?

To be beautiful is to be slim?

To be muscular?

Blonde?

 

TO BE BEAUTIFUL IN TRUTH IS A FEELING.

 

It is nothing that our bodies will ever look like.

Never measure up to.

It is not a weight on a scale.

It is not to mimic our favorite celebrity or model.

 

It is a feeling.

And no one on this planet can make us feel that way permanently.

 

Ladies,

when our men look at us with love and adoration,

with hunger,

Do you truly believe that they see all our flaws?

Do you believe that they care that your makeup is not perfect?

Your hair needs attention?

That you are not revealing your most perfect pose,

(you know that one that you practice for selfies).

 

No.

They see your beauty.

And not just your inner beauty.

They stand in awe at the goddess that they have in their life.

They are in love and desire for how our glance makes them feel.

They love watching us move.

Even the wiggle and the jiggle.

They love those little laugh lines they helped put upon your beautiful face.

They love the strength of your body.

How they can get lost in our touch.

 

And that feeling of beauty that they give to us…

That is our true radiance.

They are helping us to access WHO WE REALLY ARE.

They make it easy to be in alignment with our SOUL.

With our true beauty.

Because they don’t see our fear of imperfection.

 

They know our truth.

 

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

Love the skin you’re in.

And be compassionate to your heart, mind and body the days you do not.

 

WOMAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Calling all you BadA*s Mama’s Out There who want to love your body and feel empowered.

Reach out to me for a private 1:1 consultation to feel empowered in your skin EVERYDAY.

Trust, Truth & Establishing Rock Solid In Couplehood.

OUR TRUST IS BUILT ON THE FOUNDATION OF TRUTH…

But is that true?

 

We would like to believe that it is just this way,

however if we are honest with ourselves there is something that is so much more rare, more important and powerful in letting us know that we can trust someone…

 

All relationships need trust in order to be successful.

For us to open to love fully,

to surrender our deepest hearts to another,

to open our bodies to pleasure with our mate,

or to reveal our pain,

we must have TRUST.

 

Through the course of time and engagement with different people in different relationships we learn that trust is hard to have.

We discover that many people all though they “think” themselves trustworthy, believe that they are worthy of being trusted and that their actions and words support that more than often it is not so.

More frequently then not we learn that those that we trust in are acting from a self-centered aspect only giving of themselves and speaking out of a desire to receive and therefore will make themselves into anything needed to be perceived as steadfast and true.

 

But a person who does not know themselves,

who is not able to be true to their own thoughts, feelings and needs and is willing to “pretend” or mask is a person that is far from trustworthy.

 

Only when we can stand firm in self,

uneeding of anyone else to affirm to us that we are good, loveable, worthy, trustworthy, etc. can we be true to someone else.

 

And that is what we are wanting in our relationships.

Especially in our most intimate primary love relationships.

We want to know that our partner is true.

 

We want to know that if the sh*t were to hit the fan that they are there for us, no matter.

We want to know that they have our backs in battle and in love.

We want to know that even if they do not agree with us that they value the relationship more than they value being right or making a point.

 

We want ROCK SOLID.

 

And rock solid comes from unshakable trust in each other.

Trust is established, built and supported not by truth but by support of each other despite opinions, beliefs and even truth.

Trust must come from a harmony of knowing that we are supported fully but also that our partner will be honest with us.

 

Meaning that they will always share their feelings and thoughts around things no matter how different or challenging, but will not allow for those feelings and thoughts to take center stage and offset the unity and foundation of the relationship.

 

There must be an understanding that there is a difference between truth and honesty.

 

Truth is subject to one’s own perception and experiences and then made into a fact unless scientifically revealed. Even our own truth in history is subject to opinion and written by those who conquered for the most part. Often truth is based in a need to be right or to set something straight.

 

Where honesty, although still subject to one’s own perceptions and experience is a sharing of our core views, beliefs and feelings. True honesty is based on surrender and trust of being received.

 

OUR TRUST IS BUILT ON SUPPORT.

 

If you know that you cannot fall, how far can you go in life?

What sort of life challenges can you overcome?

 

If you know that there is no goodbye in your relationship, how deep can you surrender to your soul and into the revealing of it with another?

 

If you know that even if you are wrong in a choice or opinion that your back is had in every turn without question, how much more powerful and even able to hear and see the truth could you be?

 

Trust equals freedom to be you and surrender fully into the relationship.

How are you showing up for your love?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Explore the depths of what is needed to build trust and enjoy a rock solid commitment with your partner.  Reach out to me for my elite couples coaching today.

 

LISTEN TO IN COUPLEHOOD TRUTH VS. SUPPORT LIVESTREAM NOW.

STOP WORKING THROUGH YOUR SH*T – IT’S JUST AN EXCUSE TO BE YOU.

A spiritual path is not meant to “fix” who you are but instead to “reveal” who you are.

 

So stop your MF processing around the path.

How much do you have stop and stare at the rocks, the weeds, the trampled flowers, the horse sh*t that was dropped and anything else that you deem to not be pleasant and an imperfection to your path?

 

Granted I am not telling you to disregard your sh*t.

That would not be good for sure,

and we can easily look out into the world of the energetically blind and deaf who do just this ALL THE TIME, and see what A-holes they are,

but what I am wanting to bring your awareness too is that perhaps you are actually using your “processing” of your sh*t as an excuse to not move forward.

As a reason a.k.a excuse/blame of the outside world and past events/people so that you can lean out of your power right now and just sit in your victim status.

 

Maybe, just maybe you are thinking that all is forgiven in your “working through it” and that because you are oh so responsible and aware of your sh*t that the world should just bow to you and be okay with you NOT GETTING THROUGH YOUR SH*T…

 

Because you have been working’ it.

You have been doing the damn THING that you know you need to do,

it is not your fault that it’s just not seeming to get through to the core.

 

Well, I get all that.

 

Virgo here!

Processor here!

Hyper-Critical of self for sure here!

Analyzer and Overly responsible for self and the world here!

 

Yeppers, those are all me.

And they are always me even when I write up musings like this one handing you your sh*t back.

I write this because I feel responsible,

I want to help,

I am speaking to myself as well,

and I get the “awoken mindset” of processing is key to growth and transformation.

 

After all, you cannot change the things that you are not aware of, right?

 

Right.

 

So now that you are aware of your sh*t,

and if you are a relatively intelligent person,

or at least can get some basic common sense,

then WTF makes you believe that by standing in the epicenter of your sh*t and focusing on it, digging through it, and smelling it much longer is going to ever clear the path and make you perfect?

 

Let’s just ask,

“Do you honestly believe that the path or you were ever intended on being perfect according to our idea of perfection?”

 

Would you ever learn a damn thing if the path was perfect?

Would you really be happy if you believed yourself to be perfect?

Would you really want a relationship with a said “perfect” person?

 

Life is about clarifying who we are.

Life is about growth and expansion, and growth and expansion ONLY occurs when we can learn, gain knowledge and insight, have experiences, and gain wisdom.

 

Wisdom among other things comes from mistakes.

A.k.a learning.

 

Or you could also say CONTRAST.

 

Contrast is another way of looking at the life that we are manifesting and the life that we desire to manifest.

What we perceive as good and bad.

 

And we cannot have, nor even truly know what we want if we do not ever experience what we do not want at some level. When we experience these spaces of growth and learning in the contrast of life it makes us want for something better and it sets us to a grander vision for who we are.

 

Expanding us.

 

That expansion creates room for us to manifest in what we learned that we wanted from the contrast that was provided.

And we easily manifest it when we RELAX into the knowing that it is ours when we sooth ourselves back into a feel good place in our hearts and thoughts.

 

Now let me ask you this…

 

How does processing make you feel?

Does it excite you?

Is processing and over analyzing your every pile of sh*t soothing to your soul? your thoughts and feelings?

 

Or have you discovered that all the processing out is actually just causing you stress because NOW you really see where you have been f-cking up and the more you focus on your f-ck ups, the more insecure you are feeling in who you are, your path and your choices?

 

I am betting it is the latter here. (Just sayin’)

 

So what are you to do if you don’t want to keep repeating some sh*t on your path,

but you now sorta realize that your hyper focus to your sh*t is causing you to remain in your sh*t and even creating a neediness and lack of personal responsibility that is in turn making you out of integrity with WHO YOU REALLY ARE?

 

Are you ready for it?

 

Here is my big answer for ya.

Stop trying to be like someone else.

Stop trying to get it all right.

Stop fearing who you are and JUST DO YOU.

Be YOU.

 

You have got to accept and love you in all your sh*t,

or you will run around this life with everyone avoiding you because YOU ARE AVOIDING YOU.

 

If you are looking to the outside world to give you direction as to who you are then that is the sh*t pile you need to turn and walk away from right now.

 

Find your soothing thoughts.

Appreciate the contrast of your life.

Follow what feels legitimately good to your soul,

and stop acting out of fear of losing people or things.

 

It has you over processing you.

 

And that,

that will get you into a pile of pity, victim sh*t like no other.

 

So JUST STOP.

 

SAY IT WITH ME….

 

MY OVER PROCESSING AND SELF-CRITICISM IS KEEPING ME OUT OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY AND SOUL ALIGNMENT.

 

LET THAT SH*T GO.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to be unavailable for bullsh*t?

Yours and others?

 

Reach out to me now for the April start of a powerful transformative 8-week 1:1 intensive where we will learn just how to do this.

TIME TO TEAR DOWN THE WALLS OF YOUR MF NEWTONIAN WORLD.

TIME TO TEAR DOWN THE MF WALLS OF YOUR NEWTONIAN WORLD

 

Some days I am just sick and tired of all the bullsh*t that I hear, see and even think myself. Getting lost in all the fear of what is to come and not wanting for the past to repeat itself… well not at least the sh*t that was no fun.

 

But how is it that we can ever break free from these fears?

How do we break the bondage of our past,

because the reality is that we often KNOW what we are going to get from any given situation in life.

We have been down the road before,

and when a similar road presents itself then we get triggered emotionally to it and we just know what we know.

 

And often we know that it ain’t going to work out the way that we hoped for.

That person is not going to be all that we “think” they are.

That job is not going to be as great as we want it too.

People are people no matter who they are, right.

That’s why we end up dating the same person over and over again even though it’s a different body.

That’s why every year we keep having the same results with our health efforts or our financial situations.

Because the world is always the same.

 

And WE MAKE IT SUCH.

 

We live in the illusion of the predictability of the Newtonian world.

 

Claiming that we are living in alignment with our souls.

That we are living in integrity.

Or that we are WOKE.

 

We wake each morning and start our day with the same rituals as the day before, same times, same habits, same scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or even our dating apps. Then off to some news as we finish our coffee and then go shower and head out into our pre-planned agendas.

 

And we argue that THIS is just how it has to be.

Not realizing that in our belief about this predictability we are actually creating our LIMITATIONS around everything that we proclaim that we want for.

 

That these rituals that we all do, are actually creating comfort in what we do not want. Our physical bodies due to the predictability of our lives are programmed to respond emotionally, neurologically and mentally at the same times each day in the same patterns because of our “need” of comfort in what is familiar to us.

 

Now many people today call themselves WOKE.

Meaning conscious.

They are aware of the world around them and that the thoughts they think play a significant impact on the life that they are living and that their emotions are the gauge to if they are living on purpose and from soul or if they are straying from their truth.

They are spiritual.

They are soulful.

They are WOKE.

 

Alas, they look at their lives and they wonder why they still do not have the love, the money and the life happiness that they want for.

Turning to the belief structure that they are paying some karmic debt, or that they are building some spiritual muscle and that once they “prove themselves” then they will be worthy of the love, money and happiness. Or they simply believe that spiritual and woke means you are above the need or desire of any of these things.

 

Still at their deepest heart, they want for it.

And they too, live by the programs created in the body, the mind and the emotions to continuously create the same reality as yesterday.

 

MAKING THE MOST WOKE OF PEOPLE AVERAGE AND ORDINARY IN THEIR SELF-PATTERNING.

 

Sound familiar?

 

Maybe you are guilty of this yourself.

Or maybe you got it all figured out.

In truth that is one of the greatest deceptions of the human ego,

believing that we got it all figured out.

Believing that we “understand” and that we are “doing what we need/should be.”

Believing that we are some enlightened being.

 

Now, granted you are an enlightened being.

You are your own guru.

You sure AF don’t need me or anyone else preaching to you the 1, 2, 3’s of how to have the life that you want.

 

You got all the answers right there in that pretty mind and heart of yours.

 

Your issue is that you don’t see that you have all the answers.

You don’t believe that you know what the next step is for your life.

 

YOU ARE MF AFRAID TO CHANGE THINGS UP!

And so….

here you are.

Doing the same damn things that you always do.

 

Accepting the newtonian world and all its predictability for your reality, then crying about how things never change no matter how hard you work at it, no matter how much you journal, meditate, go out and look for new people, push your boundaries, practice this or that, read this or that, educate yourself, exercise, eat good food, etc.

 

As long as you sit back and expect that predictability to become non-predictable and do something different without you taking the reigns and accessing the quantum reality of your life with a little analytical focus, then you will continue to be right about everything that you probably don’t want to be right about.

 

You have got to become aware and understand why you are trapping yourself in the same thoughts day after day.

 

You have got to slow the f-ck down and start to analyze instead of just reacting to your emotional waves and all the “feels” that you have.

 

You have got to see, I mean really f-cking SEE how your internal world and your expectations and rituals in it are manifesting your physical reality.

 

And THEN…

 

You have to actually get sick of your own BullSh*t!

 

Because baby,

sure there is bunch of sh*t going on in our world right now.

Our world society is full of fear.

Our world economy is questionable.

 

But it’s just a bunch of malarkey if you are buying into that any of what is going on has a true impact on the quantum realm,

where your true reality is.

 

It’s your expectations and beliefs.

It’s your comfort with suffering and keeping what you don’t want familiar,

that is keeping you on replay in your life.

 

I was just chatting with a woman yesterday that shared how she had one of her highest income months as an entrepreneur in February of 2121, she made over $84,000 in her little at home business.

 

But the economy sucks you say.

No one can afford anything you say.

It’s the wrong time to start up a business you say.

 

Really?

 

I was just chatting with a man last week that was so excited, he has been unemployed for 2 weeks and he was starting to buy into the BS of COVID making jobs hard to secure, but just two weeks in he landed his dream job,making almost three times the income that he was all these years when the economy was not impacted by a pandemic or political upheaval.

 

But you cannot find work, you say?

That you are overqualified, underqualified, it does not work like that?

 

Really?

 

I was just speaking with a woman that is part of my Manifest Your Man Workshop and she was sharing how she has been on so many yummy dates lately. How connective the men are that she is meeting. How she really feels like this is the time of her life to meet her true soulmate and she is seeing so many conscious men coming into her options.

 

But I suppose that if you are among the many singles out there you may believe that people are not dating right now.

That people don’t want to take time or money to go do things.

That there is nothing to go do even for a date.

 

Really?

 

These are all your MF programs that you have locked in and that keep you safe in your newtonian world.

 

And this is what is stopping you from living the life that you say you want.

 

The love, the money, the life happiness,

IT IS THERE FOR YOUR HAVING.

 

But You are the only one that can take down the walls to your predictable world of comfort and suffering.

 

If you are ready to take action reach out to me,

if not, cool beans.

Keep doing you, like you are.

 

No matter,

loving you from the quantum field of open possibility.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

If you are ready to be Unavailable for Bullsh*t and want to break your walls down around living a predictable life so that you can claim the abundance, love and joy that your soul knows is yours.

Lets chat and get you into my April 1st, 2021 Session of Unavailable for Bullsh*t where you will be able understand and implement the 8 pillars of love, money and life happiness.

 

PM me or add in comments that you want deet’s on this elite 8-week 1:1 mentoring opportunity now.

 

Watch Lets Be Real… You Suck At Metacognition