Posted on

HOW TO GET YOUR MAN TO REUNITE WITH YOU FIERCELY.

THERE I WAS LAYING IN HIS ARMS, HAND ON HIS CHEST, HEAD RESTING NEXT TO IT.
We were entangled, like we are each night as we fall asleep.
Yet tonight I felt a million miles between us.
The feeling of isolation was harsh and cold.
I was concerned.
My heart ached.
My mind raced.
And my desire was to inquire.
I wanted to ask him what was bothering him.
At my core I knew the cause.
I recognized where the distance seeped in.
Where the armour came up.
I knew that it was not me.
Nor anything that I had done.
I knew that it was the emotional armour of protection for our relationship that was coming up and being witnessed in this very moment. And it infuriated me that this seemingly “tiny” event from an outside perspective could put such a large space between us.
Earlier in the day I felt it.
I felt it as soon as it happened.
I am far too empathic and connected to him to not feel the subtle changes in his energy and emotions, I can read him. His microscopic expressions. But most of all I feel him.
So how could I not be aware of this change.
This armour that got picked up in such haste.
Moments before we were laughing, connecting, in joy and playful with each other.
And so I had spent the day wanting to chase after him with my inquiry.
I had spent the day pressing myself ever so close to him,
quietly begging him to put down the shield that he had picked up to protect not just him but both of us, our relationship, and our love.
The thing is, the great masculine cannot put down the shield so quickly once it has been picked up.
A man, in his heart, is vulnerable with his woman.
He allows her to lead him deeper into his heart and soul,
into his feelings, his emotions. She carries him to heights that he cannot take himself alone. However, no matter how surrendered he is to her, outside pressures and threats can cause him to go into protection mode. Sometimes, the things his woman says or does can trigger his wounding from the feminine as well and cause him to retreat, armour and protect.
No matter the reason for his armouring, once he picks up that shield and sword, he is bracing for impact. He is witnessing the slightest changes in the environment, he becomes the protector. The hunter. The guardian. The warrior.
And this is his divine nature as man.
And we women…
We fear the warrior as much as we love him and desire him.
We fear the hunter as much as we need him.
We fear the protector as much as we respect him.
We fear the guardian and much as we want to be called his queen.
We do not understand how he can retreat from us.
Walk away from us.
Close down to us.
To our love.
To his feelings.
His heart.
And so it is that we do what women have been doing for all of time. We do the “typical” female thing and we chase, with our words and inquiries, our proding to understand and our emotional support. We chase him physically when he needs to escape our emotions and his own. We accuse him of not caring.
We accuse him of running from us.
We accuse him in our fear of losing him.
When in truth if we just allowed him his space he would go,
sure enough he would pull away from us and we would be forced to deal with our own emotional wounding of the masculine and of abandonment, but if we women focused on healing our wounds and regaining our own truth, becoming self-empowered and stable inside ourselves, then we would see something magical happen with his pull away.
HE WOULD REUNITE WITH US FIERCELY.
This dance of the masculine and feminine,
the picking up of armour and the guiding back to his masculine heart, can only be done through the strength of a wise and loving feminine.
My dear women, it is up to us to guide our men back to us and thus his own heart.
But not through force.
Not through chasing them.
This process is much like putting a rubber band on your finger and pulling it away. If you allow the rubber band to stretch out as far as it needs to go until it is ready to release, it will retract back to its natural state with the greatest speed and impact.
It will snap back into place.
But if you just remove the finger that was holding the tension,
holding the stability, then it just flops back into position.
And the finger is no longer part of the scenario.
When we women chase our men with a “need” to understand and out of fear, we are no longer the stability our man needs from us, nor do we create the tension that is needed for desire, love and the shields to drop. We in turn end up mothering our man and causing an imbalance in the polarities of the relationship. After a long enough time, this causes separation and distrust in the relationship.
On both sides.
A woman will never respect a man that she is mothering.
If a woman feels she has to coddle her man, he is no longer a man, he is but a boy.
And if a man is being coddled by his woman like his mother, he cannot have desire for her. If his desire for her starts to diminish he will no longer be able to view her as his queen, but instead disconnect from his heart with her as he cannot trust her to hold the tension from her side to support the relationship.
Men need to escape the feminine to recenter themselves and come back to the feminine.
They do not need their woman to be their therapist or mother.
As much as a man does need to communicate his emotions and feelings, doing so must only be done when he is unarmoured with her so that he can trust himself and feel.
FOR THE FEMININE HOLDING SPACE IS TO LISTEN HER.
FOR THE MASCULINE HOLDING SPACE IS TO ALLOW EMOTIONAL AND POTENTIALLY PHYSICAL SPACE WITHOUT THE CHASE.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.
This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.
Posted on

A TIMELESS LOVE.

TIMELESS LOVE.

 

That feeling of coming home,

where you feel as though life is fully aligned,

where you have a peace inside no matter how hard the storms outside blow.

 

There is a stillness that overtakes,

the rhythms of life seem to ripple from your heart,

and you just cannot seem to imagine how the feeling can expand any further,

and yet it does.

 

Each breath awakens a greater sense of knowing.

Bringing forth a desire to be fully revealed,

to drop all guards,

all armour being put down as the magnitude of authentic sight comes into play.

 

In total free fall,

going against all that you might have paused over in the past,

fear may rise up but is quickly washed over with your inhale of the reality of what is being presented before you.

 

Mesmerized,

as though in a strange intoxication,

a slumber where you are conscious,

where you are hungry for more.

Yet, in full gratitude for this moment.

Accepting that if this were to be the last moment that you would count yourself blessed to the ends of the earth for having just this moment.

 

This beautiful, timeless moment.

Leaning toward another moment,

breathing in the here and now,

not wanting to miss it.

 

Full absorption,

of self, of life, of this timeless love.

That seems to have been here making itself known from sources that were false, revealing itself in the eyes of others,

for you to recognize.

Naked before self,

before each other,

under the starry sky,

there revealed in full surrender,

the answer that you have looked a millennia for,

that you fear of missing now,

and here…

 

Here it is.

Right before you.

Naked.

Revealed.

 

Asking for you to be no more than who you are.

Desiring no more than your openness.

Your truth.

 

It’s terrifying.

It’s breathtaking.

It’s all you have craved,

and you find yourself torn.

A gripping fear of losing it,

of messing it up,

somehow it escaping yet again.

and then the knowing…

 

The knowing that it is timeless and it cannot be lost.

It has found you,

it has aligned you,

it has awakened and healed your core,

and it is here now to take you deeper than you have ever gone,

to lift you higher then you have ever been before.

 

There is no need to question,

no need to fear,

no need to worry about your intoxication,

there is only the acceptance of it filling you,

lighting you up and revealing you from your soul level.

 

For in the eyes of a timeless love,

there is only this moment.

 

Surrender to it.

Drink it up,

absorb it.

Breathe it in and realize self.

Realize the power that has been gifted,

embrace the passion that is emerging from your soul,

allow yourself to be ignited,

to awaken and be raw,

Naked in every way.

 

Beyond the physical.

A timeless love is always there,

it is there at your greatest depths of self knowing.

It is what we all are called toward,

but few allow themselves to embrace.

 

Timeless love is here to reveal our truth.

To open us to our power and see how beautiful we are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Wanting to tap into that space of learning how to stand naked in every way with life, love and soul?

Reach out to me to learn the steps to awaken your soul today to the freedom based life that you are called to live.

Posted on

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Posted on

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.

 

Sounds fun.

I mean I know that it is fun,

because many of my “work” days….

if you can call them that…

they are more play days because energy is fucking fun,

are just about that.

 

Dominating people’s energy.

Manipulating it you could say,

and then teasing it,

playing with the quantum field that is all around all of us and that we are manifest from.

 

Energy is playful.

Energy does not react well to being forced into some tight container where it cannot flow.

Sure when you constrict energy you certainly create a surge,

but that surge often does not come out the way that we desire it too,

and it is most often not playful.

Let alone sexy.

 

We humans have been taught to hold our shit together at all cost.

To not feel because it will make us vulnerable.

To not reveal our emotions because we will not be taken seriously.

We have been taught, brainwashed into believing that we are to constrict our energy.

We have been told that this is the proper, safe and mature thing to do.

 

When in truth what this containment of our energy does is the direct opposite to the desired reaction.

 

IT CREATES ENERGETIC IMMATURITY.

 

We never learn how to manage our energy.

How to hold it.

How to feel it.

How to direct and guide it.

Leaving us feeling scared of who we are and our power.

Making us separate from our truth and feel lost, abandoned in life.

 

And all because we never were trained on the importance and power of our energy.

Let alone the simple fact that we are all energy beings.

 

Science today is finally catching up to ancient spirituality.

Thank heavens.

And it is proving that thought creates emotion,

it is proving that our consciousness directs events and actual energy flow.

We can heal ourselves and the world with our consciousness or we can destroy it.

 

Our desire to control the situation,

to control others and the end results,

our desire to have a timeline and know what to expect,

our desire to have problems and make logical sense out of everything,

is evidence of how disconnected we humans are still from our souls.

From God/Source.

And thus from our truth.

And our truth is that we are fucking powerful.

The same consciousness that created universes moves through each of us and is wanting to expand.

 

Expansion of energy is not about forcing God into a human sized box of control.

 

Harnessing your energy has nothing to do with squishing it into some perfect package that society has told you it needs to be in nor avoiding your feelings and emotions,

avoiding your beautiful heart center.

 

Expansion and harnessing energy means to tap into your heart,

to feel your desires fully, accept where your life and vibration is at, look at what you need to do to bring your vibration into a matching frequency with what you desire,

and LET THE FUCK GO!

 

Play with your life.

Play with your power.

Let play and fun rule your world,

meaning ENJOY LIFE.

 

This is how you manipulate energy and design the life of your dreams.

 

You want that lover in your bed.

The money in your bank.

The health.

The freedom in your time.

 

Well the only way to get it is to learn how to enjoy the life that you are living today and to play with your day, your energy, and lean into letting go of your need to control everything and get it all right.

 

You will never be done.

Do you get that?

 

You are never going to be done until you are six feet under.

Then, then you will be released from this physical bondage where you are learning how powerful you are.

Once released from that bondage, you KNOW how powerful you are.

But this life that you are so terrified of living,

so scraed of fucking up in,

this life needs you to love it and enjoy it so that it can provide you with tons of opportunities to love it and enjoy it.

 

Otherwise you will exist all your days here on earth living with the energetic immaturity that keeps landing you into pain and suffering, loss and abandonment, fear and lack of worth, as well as not knowing how to deal with self and emotions.

 

You see when I say that my new professional title should be energy dominatrix,

What I am saying is that I help my beautiful fellow souls access their power through them learning how to surrender and trust me to guide the energy that they have held constricted and been fearful of feeling for years into a state of full being processing.

Where they get an opportunity to witness themselves in a fresh light,

and feel.

 

Yes they move from the armoured up, tense, stressed and anxious soul who is hiding from their greatness into an individual who knows who the fuck they are and is in love with themselves, their lives, their past and sees the path before them because they finally get that they are the architecht who is designing it.

 

They learn to surrender to themselves.

Surrender to their truth.

Surrender to enjoyment.

 

PLAY.

 

and they smile more.

they laugh more.

they sex whole heartedly more.

they penetrate the world with who they really are and the world receives them fully and grants them that turned on, ignited fuck yes life where all those who are still blind to thier power and caught up in their egos and thoughts stand back and say,

 

“They are so lucky.”

 

But it is not luck.

It is creation.

And they learn how to do it by letting go of all that shit that they have been holding on to and that has been weighing them down.

 

They let it go on my integration table.

They let it go in our walks together.

They let it go in our conversations.

They let it go in our deep soulful eye gazing sessions.

They let it go in our holding sessions.

They let it go with tears and laughter,

by being vulnerable and letting me see them.

They let it go and they end up feeling full on who they are.

 

This is where we all are to be my love.

This is the truth.

And in reality,

you don’t need me for any of this.

All you need is to love yourself enough to commit to letting all that shit go once and for all and dare to step out and trust that life has your back.

 

Dare to believe that you are the architect of your life.

Dare to love yourself in full abandon.

 

And play.

 

Because baby you are worthy of it all.

And YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIFT IT TO YOURSELF.

 

Now for anyone else out there,

who would like a little assistance,

well I am hear to smack you, kick your ass,

snuggle you as you blow snot in my hair,

watch tears fall from your beautiful eyes,

and build you up in love.

 

That  just requires you being sick and tired of messing around and feeling the way that you do.

 

It’s time to level up your life and say FUCK YES TO YOU!

And let YOU BE SEEN. 

 

I see YOU. 

DO YOU?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Global peeps reach out about my October Asskickery Program that is happening now. I have only 4 spots still open for this program that will get you some loving smackdown and pick up over 4 weeks of private intensive coaching with me.  Message me for deets.

 

We start October 1st, 2020

 

Local peeps,

you may want a bit more intensity and some hands on.

CHeck out my signature Tantric Integration Bodywork Series where I really am an energy dominatrix 🙂 with your best interest at hand…

Reach out and ask me about Program and opportunities there.

 

*Photo Credit  Dendelion Images – Plano Texas

Posted on

Are You Arguing For Your Limitations? I Bet You Are.

Have you ever noticed how much time and energy you spend arguing for your limitations?

 

Even after you get what you want.

 

Yesterday I co-taught a class for men on consciousness and development of their masculine energy in their relationships, sex and life.

A running theme that I heard come from the men’s mouths was the clarification and owning of excuses as to WHY they could not have what they wanted for.

 

Later in the day,

I worked with a few clients/friends on similar issues.

As I sat listening to them I found myself internally shaking my head in amazement at how they could not see their fear over getting and having exactly what they had been wanting for all these years.

 

And so they in turn argued for their limitations in having it.

Putting up roadblocks everywhere and getting angry about the roadblocks.

 

I was doing a coaching session with a client,

and in our conversation his verbiage about life and self was focused on the inability to say yes to himself,

yes to life,

yes to his desires and dreams,

and how he fully owned that he was not worthy of such good things because he felt that he had not done what he needed to do to receive it.

His every other word was condemning himself for basically being human,

and he sat there convinced that it just could not be so.

As I brought this verbiage into light for him and inquired,

“How is this serving you?”

 

He would agree with me on topics and even the awareness of what he was speaking into manifestation,

but then without a second thought fall right back into speaking the shit that was not serving as though it must be this way.

All the while admitting that he had a great life,

full of blessing,

but that he was unable to see it or feel his own happiness in it,

because he did not deserve it for this or that childish reasoning of a need to be perfect and not be human.

That what he wanted was for sure there,

but not showing up the exact way that he wanted it too.

 

Fast forward,

I was chatting with close friends about their relationship and some of the things that are coming up for them in their communication and sex.

 

Again,

they were arguing for their limitations in their love and connection.

 

Now they were not arguing with each other,

As of yet at least,

but the argument to find what they did not want for was there and ever present.

So much so that they had each retracted back into their critical minds, away from their heart centers and were viewsing their relationship and love from a place of fear.

Fear of not getting it right,

fear that they are broken,

fear that the other is at fault or will do what a past lover has done,

fear that they are not worthy of what they have called into manifestation.

 

And so they sat there with me,

terrified of self and of each other.

In ways pointing fingers at one another energetically,

recreating old wounds through the applied fear in thought of triggers,

their energy was shut down and snippy even.

At points I was feeling like I was tapping on a bed of needles in trying to share what I witnessed and help them to open to love and their own humanness.

 

The emotion on all fronts of my day yesterday was immense.

The room of men who shared from their deepest heart centers and revealed such beautiful vulnerability to a group of strangers. Their tales of truth and challenges.

 

My client who danced in his ego proudly while fighting for why it was not okay for him to be human or to be happy,

and his pain and fear around allowing himself to have what he wanted for.

 

My friends, who love each other dearly and manifested this incredible connection and fairytale romance,

who are fighting internally to keep distance from their hearts and desires,

by literally creating roadblocks inside self to prevent connection and getting angry about it.

 

All of the tales of yesterday had three things in common:

 

1) A wanting/desire to manifest what they already had

 

2) An arguing for the limitations that they felt they needed somehow

 

3) Anger around having what they wanted for but not having it exactly the way they wanted it

 

And so it is.

These are the common issues with us humans.

In all subject areas of our lives we do these things.

We want, we manifest, we argue for limitations, and we get mad that what we want is not exact to plan.

 

And even when it is exact to plan we get pissy about it because we feel like we are not worthy of it coming to us with ease,

or at all often.

And therefore,

we throw away what we want so badly for while making excuses as to why we must get rid of it.

 

We humans spend more time arguing about getting what we want while it is present in our lives then appreciating what we want and how it is already here with us,

so that we can live our lives in bliss and happiness.

 

Imagine if we just stopped this shit.

And got grateful for how amazing we are at manifesting what we want.

 

Instead of trying to kill our dreams and desires when they arrive like they are some sort of evil that is invading our homes in the middle of the night.

 

Why do we do this?

Why do we fight with our manifestations with such insistence that we cannot have or keep them?

 

It’s really quite simple.

 

We fear our worthiness.

If we stop fighting for our limitations,

we have to own our worthiness,

which means that we have to embrace the fact that we are powerful.

We can no longer point fingers of blame to God and other people and outside influences for us not being happy or having the life that we want,

we have to actually own ourselves and be responsible.

 

Well f-ck!

 

And so it is the easier path to toss the towel in frequently and say it did not work,

or that we are not good enough,

we don’t have the time or understanding,

that someone else is not doing their part,

that the economy sucks or government prevented us from it,

our church, family and state are to blame,

our upbringing,

etc.

 

But this is what cowards do frankly.

Make excuses and argue for limitations.

 

I don’t believe that any soul that I sat with yesterday is a coward.

 

Nor do I believe that if you are reading this today,

that you are either.

 

I do believe that we are all guilty of not knowing how to SURRENDER to receiving.

 

We fear it truthfully.

We look at surrender,

we feel a tad into what we perceive it to be and it feels dangerous and triggers us to old wounds from our past  so we find ourselves constantly saying no to the life that we want and to our happiness,

even when we have successfully manifested it.

 

Today I ask you to do one thing.

Today I ask that you bring attention to where you are arguing for your limitations in receiving the happiness and things you desire for.

 

I ask that you just begin the process of witnessing those thoughts and the feeling they create for what they truly are…

 

your rebuttal against your joy and receiving.

 

In doing this you will start the process of letting them go.

And create a new space to open the door to having.

 

You may find yourself shocked at what you discover,

and the truth that in many ways the life that you are craving for is knocking at your door and may already be with you in some ways,

but your insistence of not having it is blinding you to its manifestation.

 

So stop being snippy with your dreams.

Stop denying your joy in your pursuit for suffering.

You are worthy.

God/universe does not create anything that is not worthy and your life is not meant to be one of struggle.

 

That is a lie we humans tell ourselves to entertain our ego’s.

Your soul knows the truth.

 

Trust, surrender, and breathe deep,

your desired life is happening now.

 

As Always,

Posted on

Random Morning Conversations – Pedophiles to Compliments That Trigger.

There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….

 

I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.

I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.

I logically understand.

But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.

 

Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.

You see in my house we have this thing,

“Morning Conversations”

and you simply never know where these conversations will go,

nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.

It is drastically different each day.

 

Yesterday morning,

after some decent sexing,

I found my lover and I in bed,

I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,

I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says, 

 

” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”

 

My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.

 

And that sure AF is not okay and  is NOT love.

 

After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,

 

“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”

 

To this he smiled at me and said,

 

“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”

 

And this is where it all went dark folks.

In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.

Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,

but not I…..

 

I paused,

took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.

To feel this wound that just got scratched.

I looked at the wound,

identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.

However, the truth was it triggered me.

And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.

So I spoke up.

I said,

“That was a triggering statement you just made.”

And then I shared why.

I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,

I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,

who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.

However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.

Even though I was highly turned on,

my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.

And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,

unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,

leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.

He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.

His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,

and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.

He then looked at me and said,

 

“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”

 

Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,

but what he actually was doing was blaming me,

making me responsible for his inability to last,

to be in control of his body,

his thoughts and feelings,

his sexual energy.

And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.

My feeling after hearing this was,

” I need to not be me.”

I felt like if I did not moan that way,

if I was not playful like I am,

If my body did not look like this,

If I was not open the way I am,

If…

If…

If…

 

Then he would be able to stay with me longer,

last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.

It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.

 

Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….

 

This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.

 

He is not responsible.

He is innocent and cannot help himself.

It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,

So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?

 

Well I need to shut my shit down.

I need to not be as turned on.

I need to guard my moans.

I need to go limp.

I need to not engage in sex.

I need to not dress this way or that.

I need to not be as playful.

I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.

 

But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.

And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.

Not fully that is.

They do however blame her to a degree,

just like she takes responsibility.

 

It’s because of how we were raised.

Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.

How they speak to us.

That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.

If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.

 

And guys are told that,

“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”

 

This all steals one’s individual power from them. 

Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman. 

 

Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues. 

 

I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well, 

And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.

 

“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”

 

It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current, 

But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well. 

Because it’s there too. 

 

In owning that we get triggered, 

In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life, 

We reclaim our power. 

In pausing on our words and asking ourselves, 

“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”

In looking at what our words are actually speaking, 

Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening. 

And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships, 

In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands. 

 

Today look at your relationships. 

Look at your sexing. 

Look at your expectations and desires. 

And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?

Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.

Posted on

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Posted on

Speak Up Your Life.

Speak Your Vibe Up!
Speak it,
yell it,
talk about it.
You speak things into existence.
So be effing conscious of what you are manifesting.
The last few days I have been working with a bunch of people,
beautiful souls each and every one of them,
intelligent, courageous, strong, passionate, spiritual, loving people.
This is my tribe.
These are my clients.
And I am so proud of where each of them are and how they keep witnessing themselves and loving themselves into greatness.
However, the last few weeks there is a running theme.
And the theme is shitty talking,
I mean trash talk. Not smut talk, not crazy sexual talk,
but sheer trash thoughts that don’t make them feel good about life or self.
I see them getting caught up in loops of pain and suffering,
using terms such as,
“I can’t.”
“I tried.”
“I am stuck.”
And so many others.
These words are speaking them down.
Down in vibration.
Down in thought.
Down in emotion.
Down in movement and growth,
healing.
My response typically lands me a middle finger response or a “F – You!” as they don’t enjoy being told to STOP IT.
It’s not that easy to just STOP IT.
Beacuse these words are so natural and they are clarity based on relaity. There is passion around these words of “I can’t and I tried.”
It is a natural statement and feels so authentic.
But I want to bring you into a different reality,
the reality that if you are going through something similar as my client shere and feel like you are struggling, that you have been working your butt off but barely making it, that you have tried and tried and tried, but life just keeps showing you pain and struggle,
that you can change it.
You can speak up your vibration.
You can focus your words into creating a different reality for you to observe.
So instead of saying “I can’t”
Try saying “OMG! this _______________ is so amazing. It is the most magnificent thing.”
Skip the I can and go straight to the creation of what you are wanting.
For instance….
Say you are making $50,000 a year but you want to make more. You are putting in the time and effort but you are not seeing any change in income yet,
instead of saying,
” I am trying to figure out a way to make extra money to offset things but nothing seems to be popping for me.”
Say…(to yourself outloud in the mirror)
“I am so excited, I just made an extra $500 this week!”
“I am earning $75,000) this year, it’s magnificent.”
When we use words such as magnificent, fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, incredible they carry with them a higher vibration. We instantly change our energy.
But what is more important to realize here is that our words,
all of them CREATE.
They are the nails, the boards and the glue of our lives manifestations. From our words we build what our life experience is. And this is why so many people are struggling with their health, wealth and relationships.
Just yesterday I was speaking with a beautiful young woman that I am currently working with and I shared with her that when I turned 30 years old everyone around me told me how it was all downhill from here. That I was going to feel the age, I was going to gain weight and could not lose it, that I would start to get sick more and end up on medications and that I was now old.
I laughed about that and said, “That’s not my reality. My 30’s are going to be magnificent. Playful, healthy and strong.” I told myself how beautiful I was and how great I felt.
And guess what, it was so.
When I turned 40 I heard all the same shiz.
Except people told me that I was lucky that it did not happen in my 30’s, but now….
now it was for sure going to happen.
I was on the back side of my life.
And here I am at 44, mother to seven, and I feel great.
I get told all the time I don’t look my age,
I have vitality.
I take no medications.
And I still speak up my vibration to,
“That’s not my reality.”
I keep speaking my reality to what I want and I speak it daily in my thoughts,
to myself in the mirror,
I allow myself to act youthful,
I play,
I enjoy adventures,
I enjoy life.
And so it is that my life experience corresponds to what I am speaking into existence.
So many folks do the opposite though and they grow old and sickly just because they believe that when they hit a certain number of age that that’s the way it is supposed to be and they speak their lives down.
This is true with any subject area of our lives.
We can speak it up or we can speak it down.
So if you are one of the naysayers to your life and you are speaking about how you can’t, or how you are struggling,
how life is hard, how much pain you are in, how much crap keeps happening to you,
then all I can say is….
STOP IT!
Stop creating your misery.
Life is not doing anything to you that you are not asking for.
That you are not speaking into your experience.
And the more you play those negative records on replay,
the more you emotionalize the fear and pain, the struggle and drama,
and believe that its normal,
that its just the way it is because of your age, your income status, your sex, your country or religion,
the more you create with certainty.
It does not have to be that way though.
You can SPEAK UP YOUR VIBRATION,
thus the things that attract into your life expereince.
But you have to be willing to take responsibility for what you are saying to self and to everyone you come into conversation with.
You must watch your words.
They have power.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn how to Speak Up Your Vibe to Manifest the Life that You Really want to be living?
Message me on deet’s for my 1:1 coaching opportunities now.
Posted on

You Are Fearing Your Power & It Is Holding Your Life Back.

I told a close friend yesterday that I was scared to put my attention toward what I “thought” I might be wanting right now because I was afraid that I would get it….

 

LMAO.

 

That sounds crazy,

right?

 

Scared to get what I want because I might actually get it.

But it is true.

I am consciously holding back my manifesting right now out of fear of getting it.

 

How can I be certain that I would manifest it even,

you may ask?

 

You see over the last few weeks of staying at home in the midst of our worlds chaos,

I have been working with clients and clients need homework and sometimes I have to go searching in my own personal journals to look up prompts and exercises that moved me through similar situations that they are experiencing.

 

So I have been looking through a bunch of old journalling.

and geeze has it pulled up some emotion and made me aware of my desires and how great a manifestor I really am.

 

I have looked at the last few years of my life and see clearly how I created things to a T.

 

The things I was wanting just 18 months to 3 years ago are here with me now by about 75%.

 

There are still things in the making,

but I can feel them blooming even as I share this tale with you today. And  the universe has brought me multiple messengers in the last few weeks to confirm that you can have EXACTLY what you desire.

 

SO that should be exciting to me,

right?

 

I have so much confirmation of my creative abilities,

I can see my path,

I can even see the gestation time,

and how it came together,

If I get really present in my heart,

I can even tap into my feelings around one thing and I can take notice as to how I was aligned or not,

witnessing the emotion that truly called it into my life experience.

 

And this is wonderful.

This is powerful.

And scary as F-ck!

 

Because now I know.

I know my power.

I thought I knew prior to this my power but now I really know.

And with this knowing comes a desire to make sure that I get it right,

that I don;t f-ck up what I currently have and love by creating something that is not in alignment to my life right now.

 

There is a strange feeling of responsibility around manifesting that has made itself know to me in recent,

where in the past I would have just wrote my dreams and goals down and not looked at the repercussions of what I was saying that I wanted to call into my life picture,

Now I am so in love with my current life that I don’t want to rock the boat in a way that is not needed.

 

But you want to know a secret?

 

Sure you do. 🙂

 

I am WRONG.

I am so wrong for doing this.

I am so wrong for using “responsibility” as an excuse for creating my dream life even more so.

I am wrong for fearing what my soul is calling me toward.

I am wrong for thinking that I can keep everything the way that is currently is,

in all of its glory and somehow create that next level life that I am feeling pulled toward.

 

Now, there is something else that I am wrong about…

I am wrong in thinking that if I apply my intent on what I am wanting for that I have to have chaos or crap hit the fan in my beautiful life picture,

you don’t always have to destroy something to gain something else.

 

We humans have a tough time with this concept,

We do it in so many ways.

We think we cannot build something new while enjoying something of current.

But that is a falsity.

We can have our cake and we can eat it too.

But we have to believe that we can.

We  have to trust in our soul,

in our path,

in God.

 

We have to have faith that we are always moving toward our best life,

and that is the way that life is designed,

to constantly evolve.

To change.

To grow and expand and to never remain the same.

The relationships that we have today are not the same relationships that we will have in a few years,

even if with the same people,

the relationships will change.

Because people are always changing.

Life moves us.

But we feel scared at moving with life.

It is uncertain and we never know what is coming.

We want to know what is ahead of us and we desire to control it someway,

we fear change more than anything,

and it is what we crave the most,

because it is our nature.

It is our nature to always want for something more.

We will never be satisfied.

And this is how we are designed.

But that is a tough thing to embrace because we are taught that we need to just be content with what we get,

what we have and who we are,

that we need to stop trying to gain more of anything.

When the truth is that this desire to have more and this feeling of never being satisfied is what makes us move forward and take action in life is what we are to be following,

because THIS,

This is how our universe expands.

This is how life grows and experiences this physical existence.

 

To fear change,

to fear growth,

to fear our hunger for more,

is silly and immature.

 

We were born to create.

And we were born to follow the call of this wild energy known as soul.

We are here in this life to evolve ourselves,

and evolution means change,

change of who we are,

what our lives look and feel like,

and if we get very real with ourselves,

then we KNOW that we cannot have what we want thinking, acting, speaking, living the way that we are now.

 

The way we are now has gotten us the life that we have RIGHT NOW.

And if we are wanting to have something richer, deeper, more satisfying then the simple truth is that we MUST EVOLVE.

 

We must change.

And so we must allow ourselves to want for that, that we fear.

We must allow ourselves to feel our hungers,

our cravings, and desires for that better life,

and we must allow ourselves to put our hearts toward it,

we must also let go of the reigns on our current and not hinder its ability to adapt and move with us as it needs,

because it is going to change,

it must change,

for us to become more of who we each are.

 

So my message to you today is to breathe into that space of fear of allowing yourself to have what you are being called toward.

 

Breathe into it and face those inner monsters of your ego that are causing separation in who you are and preventing you from fully stepping forward in your power.

 

Because you are worthy beyond reason.

You were born to live the life that you are hungry for.

 

It is time to say yes to you.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

Posted on

Accessing the Light Of Your Desire.

I woke with a hunger.
My sex was on fire and I knew what I needed.
I rolled over, spread my legs and moaned a sigh of desire.
Here my turn on was,
igniting me in this moment,
making me yearn for something deeper.
Yes deeper in my sex,
but deeper in my life as well.
A feeling of fear moved through my body and I could feel myself leaning toward contraction of all this yumminess.
As I pondered the sensations,
the hunger,
the cravings and creatve juices of what was birthing from this ignition,
I also feared loosing all that I had created.
Could I survive my turn on?
Could my relationships survive my turn on?
Could the life that I had created thus far survive,
and if so how would all be transformed?
 
This is the agony of turn on.
We touch on it at moments in our life and as we feel its heat upon our flesh and in our hearts,
we fear its power.
Our power.
And question if we can survive accessing a deeper level of who we truly are.
The majority of people choose safety and mediocrety.
They step back from the flames of their SOUL ignited and they choose to ignore it.
To just maybe crack the door to their soul but a hair, so they can see its radiant light flickering through the crack,
but not enough to actual feel its essence in their lives.
 
This is the SOUL.
The soul is that of fire and freedom.
It longs to have ignition.
The oxygen of the soul is the revival of turn on and when we allow ourselves a moment to breathe into our truth,
when we ask why we are settling for so much less sthan what we know is possible,
we wake up the coals of this desire.
Each inquiry of our hearts,
each questioning of our happiness,
each moment we look a little deeper is a stoking of the fire that is hungry to be seen again.
To breathe into life.
 
The only question remains,
“Will you open to your hungers or will you hide once more form them?”
 
The hiding comes through the fear of loss,
the fear of being left alone in your fire,
and being forced to sacrifice all that you have come to love and have.
 
The truth is,
all that you love and have come to have is not stagnet energy.
It moves with time and space and in our effort to try and keep it just as it is,
we squash its life and potential as well as our own.
If what we love and have is meant to be and in alignment to our SOUL,
our heart and truth,
then it will transform with us,
embracing our desires and needs and all that we are revealing,
and if it is not of soul alignment then it must move into a new dimension of relationship with us and that may feel like its ending.
 
Is there ANYTHING in this life that is truly worthy of you stepping away from your power and truth?
 
And if you say yes to this question,
then if it is truly worthy of your sacrifice of YOU,
then would it demand this of you?
And if so , is that love?
 
When we love,
truly love,
we want for the best of another.
When we love,
truly love ourselves,
we understand that we must stand in our power and want for the best for ourselves.
We must not hide our flames of desire,
we must not squelch our turn on.
Because it is this turned on desire for life,
for joy,
for love,
for sex,
for play, connection, revealing, and truth.
That is the ignition of our empowerment.
 
A candle cannot burn when in a closed container.
Yet you may believe that yours can.
Are you living life with this idea?
Are you living in fear of you rturn on and squelching your pleasure, your truth, your power?
 
Or ar eyou asking another to live in this state with the concept that if they loved you,
if they understood your fears and pain that they would just live in a constainer?
The container that you deem safe.
 
This is a year of change.
It is a year of EMPOWERMENT my love,
and you may claim that you want fo rit,
that you want for love and freedom,
but I question if you can truly handle it.
I ask you today to sit with your fear.
To ask yourself if your fear is worth you not living truely YOU.
 
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready for a Year Of YOU?
Availble to a limited VIP group of powerful manifestors and individuals who want to rock out and Kick A*s in 2020 I am doing a private 1:1 opportunity to change your inner world to one of high vibration, focused intention, release of fear and self- sabotaging patterns, and development of abundance skills for life, love and money.
Message me for full deet’s on this VIP 6 -week opportunity to work 1:1 with me and make 2020 a Year of Me!
Start of 2020 and activiating your Yes year to You by saying YES to this potent opportunity today.