I know what I want.
I know my desire.
I feel my heart yearning.
Calling for me to breathe,
breathe life back into it.
To not fear love.
Or to be loved.
To not belittle love,
offered at my doorway.
I hear my lovers words,
the sweetness they make,
the commitment they stand before,
the desire that erupts in them,
and the love.
The love that they are carried on.
I hear him share his heart,
I feel his soul hold space,
for me as I share in return.
I share my fear.
I share my struggle,
I share my desire.
And I want to run.
Can he be the one that can hold me?
Is he willing to really love me?
Or will he crumble
from my weight,
the weight of who I am
and all I want to become.
His words are nothing new to my ears.
Unfortunate tales that many a sailor in my feminine currents have sung before him.
They all long to be the one.
They long to capture my heart.
They enjoy my body,
they are intrigued by my mind,
they get lifted by my spirit,
but they know that the true battle,
the crusade is for my heart.
And it is a heart that has been scorned,
a heart that has been tossed away as it opened deeper.
My lover looks at me with loving eyes,
he aims to penetrate my soul,
he desires for me to feel his commitment,
he is confident that he can hold me
and dance in my fire.
His voice echos words of my past loves.
He shares he does not want me to change.
He does not want to control me.
yes he can love me and I am not to much.
I feel his heart,
I hear his belief,
but these words are easy to say,
while you sit by the fire and get caught up in its mystery.
What will he do when my fire escapes its container?
What will he do when it desires to over take his heart?
When it burns,
burns in its glory,
in its beauty.
Sure he will enjoy its dance,
but will he be able to handle it being ignited?
Through time and space we dance,
we open and close.
I look away but for a second,
as I sense him leaning in.
My soul wants to be taken.
My heart wants to be penetrated.
the fear conquers them.
It masks the emotions that beg to be seen,
and it makes me retreat.
Retreat once again,
Back into my lonely cave.
Where I feel safe.
Safe in my not having.
Safe in my not being seen,
if even for a bit longer.
Yet he still see’s me.
And I know this.
He leans in further,
his lips softly open,
he asks for a kiss.
My heart shakes,
it rumbles in fear and excitement.
For all it ever wants,
wants to be chased,
wants to be desired,
wants to be opened,
wants to not be given up on.
In its wanting,
he steps a bit further into the fire,
and proclaims his presence.
Asking for my depth.
Asking for my emotion.
Asking for my fire.
And so it is,
that I breathe in.
Just one breath,
just one perhaps.
And answer him in the only way I can,
in this moment.
This perfect moment of our lives.
“As you wish.”
Comes from my lips as we meet once again.
To all those who have loved and lost,
loved deeper than they can ever share,
who have tasted true love and will never settle for anything less than.
To all those who have stood in the goddesses fire,
who have been burned, who have been mesmerized by its flames and desired to conquer it.
To all those who want to feel its ignition,
who believe that they can hold it.
And dance with it.
Much love to you this day.
Open yourselves to love,
as it is what makes you feel alive.
It births your soul into all it desires,
all it needs and can be.
And let yourself be seen.
Stop Existing & Start Living