WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

 

It’s every girl’s dream right?

To wake up wrapped in the one’s arms that you just cannot get enough of. 

That you find yourself just wanting to go deeper with, reveal all of yourself too. 

 

This morning I rolled into my man’s arms and put my head on his chest, smiled, took a deep breath and just relaxed into him. 

 

His presence of being, in his heart and how stable he is puts all my concerns and fears at bay. 

His strength in who he is and in life, even in the chaos brings me peace and direction. 

His smiling eye’s ignite my soul in love. 

His warmth and touch, leads me into greater surrender. 

His inquisitive nature confirms his desire to know me more and to see me in all my radiance. 

 

So what allows me to lean into him?

To open myself up at these levels of not just my physical, sexual being but also to want to merge with him emotionally? Mentally? In confidence of all that is me?

 

How can a woman who has been through divorce, physical assault, rape and more trust the masculine with all her depths?

 

Over and over again, I hear women share how they love their husbands and boyfriends. That they believe that he is “the one.” However, then they speak of not being able to really be themselves. They hide. They mask. They fake it. They say that their orgasm is great, but that they have to use a vibrator to achieve it or that only through oral they gain it.  They tell me how they could never say the truth of their fears and body image to their partner. They speak about how they cannot imagine ever being with anyone else but then say how he does not hear her, see her, understand. 

 

She loves him, but he does not know how to touch her.

Not physically or sexually. 

Not menatlly or emotionally. 

Not spiritually. 

 

He does not harbor a safe home for her. 

So what makes a woman feel safe? 

So safe with her man that she drops her armour and speaks her truth?

That she trusts that he will catch her without doubt?

 

Women want to feel: 

*Sexy

*Unique

*Safe

And her walls only come down when she feels all three of these. 

In today’s relationships, women may feel sexy at times. 

Often they feel more like they must be sexy to get what they want, or that it is only their sex that will attract and commit a partner. 

They do not truly feel sexy however, in their own skin because our culture has trained us that we are never enough and in the same too much. We women compare ourselves to all the things that the world deems beautiful, strong and desirable and often find ourselves falling short in more than one area. 

 

Our uniqueness is overlooked by all including ourselves and so we have reached a space in time and society evolution where we are working hard to make uniqueness about being like everyone else. There are no more winners and losers, no more acceptance that we are not all created equal. In our pursuit to have fairness and kindness, acceptance for all, we have also lost the gift of uniqueness. We see this even in our intimate relationships, where people no longer want to “claim each other” because we have decided that marriage and commitment equal control and limiting each other. But what we are actually saying is, “ I can take you or leave you, no wow factor here, nothing special or unique.”

Both men and women at our core want to be desired and not just for our sex, but for who we are as individuals. We want our partners to desire our essence and love us fully. Accept us as we are and see our radiance. Yet this radiance can only truly be seen if we embrace our uniqueness and stop making it unkind to know that we are different and not created equal. 

 

Safety is primary to the femine to be able to drop down and trust in life, in her relationship, in her sexing, in her emotions and all that we do. Yet, there is limited safety when we are attempting to be and do everything without the support of anyone else, especially a partner. There is zero safety in today’s world as we overload ourselves with surpressnets and hormone `balancers” so that we can mask our truth and not address the true nature of any problem. As long as we continue to not trust our intuition, our critical thinking or what we are witnessing in our manifestation nor take responsibility for the lives that we are creating, we will not feel safe. Safety from the masculine comes secondary to how we women trust ourselves. 

We can not trust the man that we are with if we do not trust our judgements and feelings. If we do not truly know who we are and what our boundaries and non-negotiables are. If we can speak up and let our vulnerability be heard.

 

To wake up in love, means that we are waking up in love with the lives that we have manifested. 

Owning who we are as women. 

 

To wake up in gratitude of being wrapped in the arms of our partner, who supports us, cherishes us, respects us and loves us fully just for being us, means that we have trusted the power of our manifestation to call in the sort of masculine who knows himself too at this level and is worthy of our trust, respect and heart. 

 

This man will on;y come to us when we find this space inside of ourselves. 

When we have learned to love all of our shadows and no longer stand in victimhood, but in queenhood. 

 

This is how we find our true soulmate.

This Is how we fall in love with life. 

Every moment of it, even the cloudy days.

This Is how we wake up in love every day.

 

It requires your heart and desire to take the steps inward and go on the great’s adventure of your life though. 

It requires you to want that love more than anything else. 

It requires you to have the courage to meet the person that you have been searching for all these years…

It requires you to find you. 

 

Are you ready my love?

Walk with me. 

Let’s adventure together and discover you.

Beautiful, magical, powerful, sexy, unique, full of appreciation, trust and creativity. 

YOU.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN CRAVE YOU FOREVER + COMMIT.

 

HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN CRAVE YOU FOREVER + COMMIT.

 

My man makes me juicy hot without even trying, but it’s not him. It’s what I do to him to get him to crave me in such a powerful way. 

 

I love when my partner looks at me with a smile of appreciation and desire in his eye. 

The look in his eyes and on his face ignites my soul and makes me feel like a queen. 

His queen. Like the only woman on the planet.

 

I love when my guy walks up from behind me and grabs ahold of my waist, pulls my hair back and kisses my neck. When he breathes me in.

 

I love when he loses his presence in what I am saying or his work because he got caught up in my radiance and his heart and he can do nothing but sit in awe.

 

I love that he messages me how he misses me. 

Did not want to leave for the day.

How he desires forever.

I love how he takes me fiercely in our lovemaking, how he leads in passion and asks for my surrender through him.

 

And I am reminded by all of this and more that when we have found the right person they will meet us and mirror us and when they are not the right partner we will feel used, off balance in some way. 

 

That feeling of coming home. 

Men and women alike crave just that. 

Completion. 

A homecoming that our soul knows can only truly be accomplished in the union with a true partner for our lives. That one that we cannot see past. That we want to make plans for thousands of years because we cannot ever seem to get enough of them.

 

But what stirs the creation of this craving?

What creates a foundation of a feeling of “home” that makes a man want to go deep and commit?

 

I am sure you have heard of the four A’s when it comes to human personality and needs in a relationship, these four A’s however for men are all the more important. 

 

How the A’s Make Your Man Crave and Commit to You: 

 

Attention – This one might seem needy to the modern woman, because we are not attracted to anyone who demands a ton of attention in our busy lives. Who wants to be the center stage character in ALL aspects of our lives. After all we are mothers, boss babes, mompreneurs, sisters, daughters, and besties. We have our obligations to so many, so we want support in our intimate relationship from a strong man who can take care of himself. He needs us, yes, but he doesn’t want us to coddle him.  What I refer to by the word attention doesn’t refer to this emotionally immature man though, I am saying that attention means to be present. Your presence in the relationship is worth gold. When you are together with your man, from the earliest dating moments, give him your undivided attention. Not your phone. Not the world around you. Stay present there with him in your thoughts. Realize that all the men of your past often travel with you into your new relationships, all those that have ever let you down and scorned you are yelling in your ear while you are on this date, in this moment with this great guy. Your fears and concerns, your hopes and desires are all there wanting their time on your mental and emotional stage. To be present with a man means to stay THERE IN THE CURRENT MOMENT with him and him alone. Most people are rarely present because they are worried about past or concerned about the future, add in a social media ding and you my beauty are not present.  – Such a turn off!!!!

 

Affection – Yes human touch! We need conscious (present) touch at least six times a day for mental health. The majority of us don’t get this. We get and give touch, but we don’t actually experience positive touch. Wanted. On both sides. There is a lot of assumed touch. And this armours us up. Men and women alike, making it where we believe that we don’t like it or need it, however even the most resistant man desires affection. A present small gesture can mean the world. I know for me and my relationship, I am always aware as to how my body is turned. Am I turned to my man or not? Is my body language open or closed to him? If I am too far away or something is in the way of our closeness, I move it or myself to get closer. I reach out and touch my man’s foot with mine. My knee to his leg. I grab ahold of his arm with my hand and I firmly let him know that I am there, that I want him in my touch. My touch is far more in your face these days than when we were just starting out, but even back then I looked for opportunities to touch him. And when we hug and kiss, just hold each other (past and present) I take a breath and slow down. I get presents with him when we are coming together. I want him to feel me and I desire to feel him.

 

Appreciation – I have worked with possibly thousands of men at this point in my career and the one thing that so many divorced men have shared with me or men who were in a serious committed relationship in some fashion shared with me about their major disappointments, were centered around the feeling that all their efforts in the relationship and with their woman were not seen or appreciated. They consistently felt like yeah she may have said, “thank you,” but it was mute to what was needed. Appreciation, gratitude for someone thinking about the little things, for wanting to make life better, for working their a*s off, and so much more. One of the things I do with couples frequently is an Appreciation Game where I have each partner share appreciation for a set time frame and the other partner just sits in silence and receives. Take it in. Such a simple exercise, yet we hardly stop in our busy lives to appreciate each other. We think things but we do not communicate them. Taking a moment here and there to acknowledge the good of our partners is a game changer. We take the time all too frequently to tell them what is wrong with them, their errors and our complaints and we believe that our complaining will get us the results we desire, when in truth, if we focus on the good we will encourage more of what we want. It’s all energy baby! Where attention goes, energy flows. 

 

Acceptance – THIS ONE I cannot share enough with all the beautiful ladies in the house. We women really suck at this and we should not. We should get this because what do we women want? To be accepted. We want to be really seen, heard and appreciated for just who we are, not for what we do for someone or how they want us to be. Yet, over and over again we ladies get into commitment with a guy based on the man that we see he can become not who he is. Men want for us women to never change, they fall in love with who we are RIGHT NOW and sometimes that can be unreasonable because life enforces change, it is the one true constant, but if we get into relationship wanting our partner to be something that they are not, then we are saying,” I don’t appreciate who you are, love who you are, accept you as you are. You are not enough as you are but I will settle with the hope that you will become what I want.” – YUCK! Let me just gag myself right now. Granted I have been guilty of this, if I look at my partner today and truly though that I wanted him to be anything other than who he is, I would only be damning my relationship. I would be looking past him to create something else instead of looking at him with a heart full of amazement in how lucky I am, how grateful I am for him being the man that he is RIGHT NOW! I want nothing more, although as our lives evolve and we build our future together we each will change, this is certain. Our growth can only be together though if we each love each other in all our faults and beauty as we are fully in the now, not hoping for change but receiving each other as is. This one thing means the universe to most men. Acceptance. Men in general do not feel accepted in life. Our societal evolution has stolen from the masculine a right of passage, what being a man IS. Our males are lost in our world because they are condemned by their natural primal nature and desires and told that they are not healthy nor good and they have not been provided leadership as to what an emotionally mature man is like. When we queens look at our men with total acceptance and tell them how we see them, feel them and appreciate them, their armoured masculine hearts melt into love.

 

There are many things that make a man crave a woman and want to commit to her. 

These four A’s are paramount however. 

The other major contributing factors to get a man to crave and commit would be: 

 

Respect – The lack of respect is what makes the majority of relationships fall apart and not be able to go the distance. Often things from our past or our current create a disrespect. The only way that we can establish respect when it is not there in some area is to address it head on. If our partner is doing something that hinders our ability to respect them fully then we MUST come out to them about it and request for a behaviour change and share what is coming up for us around it. Remember that each individual in the relationship has a right to ask for what they need in the relationship, once requested it is up to the other as to what they will do with the request and how to best serve themselves and the relationship. No matter what the response is we then are given the option to either accept our partner’s choice or to walk away. If the behaviour change that we are asking to be shifted is non-negotiable to us then we have to understand that and do what is right for us. Thus right for the relationship. The only way we can ever respect another is to first respect ourselves, our boundaries and our needs. 

Emotional Maturity – I have been preaching a lot about this lately because it is vitality important and the reality is that the majority of men and women alike lack emotional maturity. Being an adult in our relationships and in life is sexy AF! In order to become it one must apply daily focus on self-growth, love and evolution. Wanting to take responsibility for their own feelings, emotions, actions and life and understanding how powerful that truly is. 

 

Variety – Can you imagine eating at the same restaurant every day, three times a day for the rest of your life? That sounds like a miserable hamster wheel in my opinion and life gives us enough of the hamster wheel in itself between work, responsibilities, family and such. What we are looking for in partnership and relationship is a feeling of certainty, trust, “home” but also blended nicely with uncertainty. Men love a woman who is willing to invest herself into the relationship and help create variety. This translates to being playful, flirty, and spontaneous. Be willing and wanting to explore new things together both inside and outside the bedroom, even take it upon yourself to initiate something new or set up an adventure date. Don’t always demand that he lead on everything. Men are attracted and appreciative to our creativity and forwardness as well. 

 

Sovereignty – As much as he wants to be your knight in shining armour and save you… he also wants to know that you can carry yourself and have his back all in the same. He adores, respects and craves the woman who takes responsibility for her own happiness, emotions and life but chooses to have him by her side and  build a life together. The right man does not want you to give your power away to him but wants to lift you up so you can fly higher. An emotionally mature man knows that this means that you do not need him to feel worthy, loved or happy and he does not need you for that either. Two complet and strong individuals who have chosen to unite and become stronger in their home with each other. – Now that’s hawt AF!

 

Exude Radiance – Yesterday I was having a  crappy day. I felt pathetic and useless. I did not feel radiant and strong, yet my partner grabbed me in one moment, looked at with his tender loving penetrative look and smiled. I asked what he was smiling at and he responded, “ You are glowing. Even though you are not happy today, you are still glowing.” Radiance is in our energy. It encompasses all of our being and it even shines through on gloomy days. A woman who is truly radiant is so because even on bad days she is aligned to her soul. She accepts and loves herself and knows that all of her and her emotions are perfect. Her heart leads her and her man can see this in her actual energy. Her eyes, smile, hair, walk, the way she moves and breathes. This ignites him at a deep primal level and makes him want her all the more.So stop letting your energy be benign and bland.  REALITY most women don’t radiate, they mask and attempt to create fake shine.

 

Getting a man to crave you and commit truly just means that you have come fully into who you are and aligned to your soul. You trust your heart. You receive yourself in all your messiness and glory. And you are not afraid to say no to any relationship that does not match who you are at your core just to settle for not being alone. 

 

That soulmate man of yours beautiful, he is looking for all the same that you are and if you want him to find you and reveal himself then it is up to you to do the same for yourself first.

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Existing

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

UNICORN & SNOWFLAKE MEN – WHAT WOMEN THEY WANT, BUT WON’T RESPECT.

 

UNICORN & SNOWFLAKE MEN – WHAT WOMEN THINK THEY WANT, BUT WON’T RESPECT.

 

And that is what it all comes down to. 

RESPECT.

Maybe I am a bad, bad, girl who just is not consciousness enough or done as deep of a dive as I need into my own inner work to be able to respect, surrender and thus really unite in love with one of these sacred space holding, cacao ceremony, “spiritual” dudes who is what we can call the modern gentlemen. 

The nice guy. 

The guy that “respects” (by kissing her booty and letting her be the man) a woman and let’s her be powerful because he knows that we are all equal. 

 

Lordy, let’s just f-cking get real here. 

Ladies and unicorn snowflake, woke divine masculine men….

WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL!

 

Women are powerful. 

And should be accepted as such. 

But men are powerful too…

And should be accepted as such. 

However, we are powerful in different ways.

Think ying/yang.

 

Today’s world is emasculating men.

 

And men are not happy or healthy because of this depolarization. 

Women are far from happy and emotionally drained because of it. 

 

Yesterday I wrote some on this topic, focused on how we women want a sensitive man but only sensitive to what we want him to be. This epidemic of conscious, woke, divine real men that is turning our men into something that we women cannot respect nor trust. Which stirred quite the convo between my man and I.  This morning while brushing our teeth and getting ready for the day he looks at me and says, “You know I just recently learned that women like you want a masculine man. I have looked at what I see as a strong woman and been frustrated. Believing that a strong, conscious woman who knows herself appears to want one of these unicorn “woke” men who always smiles, has the right things to say and keeps his masculine primal at bay. I can do the yoga. I can meditate. I can do my own inner work. I can be conscious. But I cannot put down my primal instinct and I did not believe that I could be my primal self and have my warrior queen, too.”

 

Linda Liv Doktar, I guess was in the same mood as myself yesterday, because my guy then asked me, “did you see what Linda posted?”

 

Nope, I was caught up with my private clients yesterday and some self-care things, plus rushing back to my man. 

Well, I read Linda’s post and I was laughing while saying, “Yes! – Yes! -Yes!”

A woman who desires a primal man. 

Gets what is required for us powerful warrior queens who are always turned on, activated in life, hustling in our self-made success stories and keeping harmony and balance to our full and thriving lives. That sort of woman cannot hang with the blokes who want to kiss our a*ses. 

 

My sun rises and sets in my man’s hands because he is not afraid to man-handle me. 

Meaning he knows how to stand in my fire. 

He knows how to lead me. 

He is not fearful of me. 

He let’s me feel him fully in his energy, his thoughts, his feelings. 

And of course in the bedroom.

He does not hide his primal, protective, fierce nature from me. 

ANYWHERE.

And that makes me weak in the knees. 

Much like Linda said in her share, “I want to be dominated and told what to do.” 

Matter a fact, I need that for my own well-being and ability to surrender my deepest self to life and to my man. A woman simply cannot surrender her deepest self however to a man that is wishy washy, wearing the best societal mask of the moment and trying to say all the “right” things. I need to know that I can trust my man to be honest with me. 

I need to see that he is not afraid to take initiative and set a direction. 

I need to know that he trusts his own words and actions. 

And I require a man who knows how to dominate me in his love, protection, primal energy and leadership. 

 

So he better f-cking know who he is and where he is going in life. 

Or I will not follow. 

I will not respect. 

I will not trust.

And he will not hold my heart. 

 

I have been in all too many relationships with these men who are “woke” who are “sensitive to the feminine” and that’s as far as they made it with me. 

 

Some sort of relationship. 

I also felt the need to set them in their place about the reality that they would NEVER have a partnership with me.

 

I knew from the first moments that I could not respect them to the level required for me to become their life partner and give myself over to them. I could not trust their “sweet” ways to hold me safe and lead with certainty. I knew I could drop them to their knees with my own dominance and make them crumble if I wanted. 

 

That’s not leadership. 

And you know what?

In studies it has been shown that 74% of men would rather be alone in their lives instead of feeling disrespected. 

 

This is because to a man, a primal man who is on purpose and is not fearful of his own energy or his woman, he views respect and love as equal. They are the same and you cannot have one without the other. 

 

THIS is why men are so powerfully attracted to some women, will do anything for these women, and commit to her fully. When a woman knows how to trigger feelings of respect and admiration in her man, he will surrender his heart to her.

 

So many women however, have no clue how to make use of the principle of respect to create this unfair advantage in making themselves irresistibly attractive and commitment worthy to the right men.

 

Thus creating the space for repetitive heartbreak and suffering when it comes to love. 

Now I could go on and on about this topic, and most likely will keep writing on it over time, but for today let me be very clear with you lovies….

 

If you are a woman who wants to feel safe in her relationship. 

Wants to stop questioning if her guy is really into her or if he loves you.

Wants to know that he wants and will commit to you.

Wants to rope the moon for you as well as ravish you in every way you desire. 

And wants to stop your fear of when he will leave…

 

Then hear me now…

 

Get the consulting needed on the fine art of respect. 

Through respect we women can seduce, open and commit the right man to us. 

He will not be the man that is depolarized to be more feminine than masculine. 

You will have to actually want his masculine and see how you as a strong woman who is always taking care of business needs his strength to get you out of your head and fully embodied into who you are in heart, soul and sex. But once you get a taste of the yumminess of what this primal masculine does for you and how he supports with his rock solid love, respect and honor of not just you, but himself and the partnership you will scratch your head in bewilderment of why you chose to spend all those years ditzing around with men who have no clue how to lead the feminine. 

 

And are not worthy of your warrior queen heart and soul. 

 

Want to learn the secrets of becoming a seductress through learning the art of respect with a primal man?

 

Are you tired of thinking your relationship with a guy is going really great only to have him grow cold and distant overnight and ghost you?

 

Tired of the endless cycle of heartbreak and questioning why you cannot find a man who is trustworthy and committed?

 

That’s what I helped countless beautiful women such as yourself do over the last almost two decades. Find their soulmate!

And it’s now your time, don’t you agree?

Reach out to me in comments or private message now about my 6-weeks to Soulmate Love Private Mentoring Summer 2021 Sesh and get $500 off with code word RESPECT.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WHY IT’S OKAY TO SLUT SHAME YOUR MOM. 

WHY IT’S OKAY TO SLUT SHAME YOUR MOM. 

Or disrespect her in numerous ways. 

It’s okay because she allows it, that’s why! And boy have I been guilty of allowing disrespect and boundary breaching in my life with my own children, I can tell you that. I wish I could report to you that because I have worked with countless people on relationship issues such as respect, boundaries and authentically standing in your truth for almost two decades that I myself have it down. I wish that I could tell you that the close to 2000 hours of class time on these subjects that I have under my belt and multiple certifications plus all the practice time would guarantee that I had all my shiz in order and that my family relationship and my intimate relationship with my partner was perfect, without miscommunication, trouble or pain. 

 

HOWEVER THAT SIMPLY IS NOT SO. 

 

You see we are all human. And we humans have trauma, pain, and programs that we have become comfortable with even when they are programs that cause us more pain, trauma and separation in relationship, causing us to armour our hearts from those that we love the most. 

Today I am going to be extremely raw, vulnerable and edgy with you about the topics of disrespect and boundaries and I am doing so because, it’s what is in my face on the home front and therefore it may be a vital topic that a few others are looking for ways to cope with as well in the moment. 

 

It is often said that parenthood, especially motherhood, is the least appreciated job on the planet. And I would agree for the most part, I have noticed through the last twenty five years of motherhood that when my children are going through rocky spots in life, have personal matters at hand that they feel compelled and even safe to use me as a verbal emotional punching bag. They adore embarrassing me, making fun of my past, using sarcasm when they can or just being as blunt and raw about topics that perhaps do not need to be discussed and are only pain causing in moments that for all I can assume are moments that they are not feeling strong in self or life. Human nature when underdeveloped in maturity and empathy is to find weakness in another and feed off of it to make oneself feel better about their own lives. We all know that teenagers think that they got a better handle on adulting and life then we parents could ever understand, and we understand today that the frontal lobe is not fully developed until mid-twenties, so it makes sense why our twenty somethings are also challenged with a lack of understanding of the effects that their words and actions can have long term to life and relationship.

 

However, put teen attitudes and frontal lobes to the side, what I see more and more, not just in my own family and experience but in society in general is that disrespecting elders, parents and others alike is pretty much common place and a normal part of how we allow our youth to engage with us. Rarely do we appreciate the wisdom, insight or even lives of those who are our seniors and most certainly not our parents. 

 

Our youth dictates to us our timelines, the foods we buy, what their hours of watching TV, playing video games are, if they need a ride to work, what sort of vehicles they expect they should acquire when they get their driver’s license, what school they should be able to attend, their curfews and more. We parents have allowed for a plague of entitlement and righteousness to set into our youth. They actually believe that they are smarter, wiser and more deserving. And if you disagree with this statement just look at those children who are in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties. We have an onslaught of “only child syndrome” except they are not only children often and they have a difficult time adulting. Today our thirty year olds are about as equipt to be adults as what high school graduates were just twenty years ago. That is the sad reality!

 

In my opinion, the majority of this stems from us parents not instilling healthy boundaries around time, space and money as well as not teaching our children healthy respect for themselves and others and that their words and actions that are disrespectful are seriously damaging to relationships, including the relationships that they have with we parents. 

 

Instead of teaching these things, we parents have turned the other cheek far too often and made discipline evil. We have focused on the no child left behind concept and instead ended up leaving behind all of our children because children are not learning valuable life lessons. Instead they are learning that life should cater to them and that they can get away with being little a*ses because the punishment of our time and our parents is “evil” and could even be considered abusive. I recall many years back when my now fifteen year old son was mad at me and I told him that if he did not stop the back talk that I would pop his mouth, his response to me was, “Go ahead mom, I will call the cops on you. That is abuse.” 

 

WOW!

WTF!!!

He could stand there and call me names, tell me horrible things, disrespect me and ignore me and if I were to “parent him” I was abusing him. My only recourse was to put him on time out? Ground him? Of which he did not care. He enjoyed the silence and being alone. It was not a punishment. 

 

This seemingly simple little thing over time builds into massive disrespect. 

It is never just simple or small when we are allowing disrespect. 

We can make excuses for our children and say they have anxiety, they have peer stress, tests are due, blah, blah, blah… kids today have so much more pressure on them then what we had as kids….

 

So having pressure on you is a get out of jail free card to be a dick to those you love or anyone for that matter?

 

How is that concept going to support your kid in the real world?

How would your boss or spouse handle you using that excuse very often?

Mmmmmmhhhhmmmmm….

 

It is up to us parents to instill healthy boundaries and respect in our children, I believe that we can all agree upon that, but what does that look like for today’s society?

So how do we identify a boundary?

One of the hardest things for us to do is to say no or speak our feelings, especially when they are not aligning to what someone we love wants. We want to please, keep the peace and we believe that we are not being kind when we say something that might rock the boat and cause conflict, however that is far from the truth. In all relationships we have a right to ask for what we want and tell people (including our partners and children) what we don’t want, in fact setting and knowing what your boundaries are can be one of the most soul nurturing and self-loving things that we can practice as well as teach. And with our children, they learn more by what we do than what we say. 

 

Recently I was listening to a talk and the host stated this about boundaries, I thought it was a perfect way to help identify what they are for each of us. 

 

“Boundaries are the distance from which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

 

Boundaries are not there to keep people away, but instead to keep love expanding for self and another. They teach respect, honor, empathy, compassion and love. By upholding another’s boundaries we get to support that person in love and respect.

 

Another way of looking at boundaries is that they are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify a feasible, safe, and permissible ways for others to behave and interact with them and/or in their space or with their things and have a response for how they will respond should the boundary be crossed. 

 

Examples of healthy parenting boundaries: 

 

Private Space- Parents need and should have a sacred and private space that children understand is for the parents, no matter the age of the child. This can extend as a child grows to the parents home, where perhaps a boundary is that you request a heads up that they are coming over. Just because they are your child should they have the expectation that they can just walk in? How does that support you as a parent? Your privacy? Your relationship with your partner? Work? Etc? With younger children, perhaps you have the private space of your bedroom and/or office where you do not allow toys, play, trespassing the doorway unannounced or without permission or request from the parent. 

 

Time – We parents allow for far too much pressure on our time. Setting the boundaries around time requests and use of vehicles, needs to be taken places, or things needing to be dropped off or brought to them. Is it okay for your child to demand that you drop everything and run them something they forgot when they are at work or school? Can they ask or demand last minute for you to take them places? What about simple requests around such things as personal items needed in the house? Ex: my child recently and frequently gets into the shower and does not look to see if there is a towel for him to use. He showers, then when he realizes that he has no towel, calls to request towel service? I have stopped bringing him towels or toilet paper for that matter no matter the situation to make a point that it is his responsibility to be aware of what he needs in such moments and make sure that he has it available. It is no one else’s responsibility to supply him with these things nor drop what they are doing to save him. This lesson is worth its weight in gold come his adult years when he lives alone or is married, not to mention the many ways it plays out in the work field.

 

Money- We pay our children for living with us and “allowing us” to do everything for them. Yes, this is what we do and we do it thinking we are teaching them about work ethics when what we are doing is telling them that they are owed something for using the utilities, eating the food, and ignoring us and their chores until we press them hard. In the real word, you back talk, ignore your duties and just take and you lose the job, the relationship, the what have you. Start creating responsibility with children by giving them duties without pay. No one pays you to do the laundry, the dishes, vacuum or anything else, so let them learn that lesson. Also, stop paying everything for them. When a child can make money let them cover part of their cell bill, their car insurance, car payment. They need to learn how money works and how to save and how to allocate otherwise they will have many failures in the future.

 

Food and Diet- In today’s world of Uber eats and home delivery it is all the easier for kids to eat what they want and with great ease. However that does not set them up for healthy eating or understanding the importance of money, shopping wisely or health consciously. Kids have always been hard to get to eat what is prepared for them. They are learning about foods and likes/dislikes, but when we just allow for them to do as they please, even let them dictate the food that is bought, we sabotage not only them but ourselves too. Convenience and keeping them happy is killing our health as adults or costing you twice as much financially because you might be buying two diet plans instead of one. Perhaps, start a boundary that certain nights are family cook nights and that they are in charge of creating and if old enough cooking a healthy dinner for the family and taking children shopping, explaining your reasoning for buying what you do and talking to them about balance, health and economic ways of living can support their futures as well. Creating the boundary around food and diet can be challenging but highly worthwhile. 

 

Agendas/Schedule – Today more and more parents work from home. Children see that their parents are more accessible but also will cave to their desires easily because they are trying to get work done. Creating the container around your work day and schedule is a requirement if you want to maintain and teach respect for work, time and space.

 

Your Intimate Relationship – Today there are many broken families and blended families. Children are edgy about trusting the “new” guy or woman in their parents life. This creates a space for our children to disrespect the relationship between adults. Even our adult children will cross boundaries and be disrespectful to the intimate relationship of their parents with another, much like they tried to cause a lack of unity between parents in their youth, they will find opportunities to cause chaos and doubt in their parents relationships as adults with sarcasm, jooking, sharing of past events, ignoring the “new” person in their parents lives, outcasting them, or even invading on private moments with them. It is important for us parents to understand that if we are to be happy and have a healthy relationship with a partner that we must address and have the difficult conversations with our children about respecting, including, and relationship boundaries. For our adult children, perhaps just ask them, “How would you feel if I did/said that to you or a significant other?” When flipped, they may be able to see their error and disrespect. 

 

There are so many more boundaries that show disrespect from our youth that we have allowed and supported as parents of today. I encourage you to review your boundaries with your children, how you feel they are respecting you and doi the difficult task of having the hard conversations with them no matter their age. 

 

The more we parents allow for our children to walk all over us, the more we do damage to ourselves and them and we give permission for our children to create emotional and perhaps even physical space between us.

 

Not to mention that what they learn from the relationship with us parents, they transfer over to their intimate lives and other relationships, which could create a society of high maintenance narcissist adults who will never find true happiness, love or acceptance in self. 

 

As Always, 

Stop existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 Ready to say yes to you and create dynamic relationships on all fronts? 

Reach out to me today to take advantage of this summer’s specials on 1:1 mentoring and coaching.

LOVE BOMBING + GASLIGHTING = NARCISSISM.

 

LOVE BOMBING + GASLIGHTING = NARCISSISM.
What we may perceive as romance, or sweet gestures to share how much someone is into us or wants to honor us might actually be signs that they are narcissists.
Yep, you read that right.
But, Kendal, a narcissist, does not give a rats rear end about anybody but themselves. They are self-centered and stuck in the ME, ME,ME way of existing and they have the mentality that everyone should feel the same way about them. They have zero to no empathy or concern about others so WHY would they romance me, or do an obscene amount of kind gestures?
It is true that the word narcissist comes from the tale from Greek mythology about a young man named Narcissus who fell in love with his reflection in a pond. However, a true narcissist’s nature is to guarantee that you provide them what they need. Which is worthiness, love, adoration and to be the center of your attention.
THEY NEED YOU TO SEE THEM.
Because the reflection is not enough.
Because it is not fulfilling.
And they have an inflated ego, and as is the case with inflated egos or anything, there must be something to support and keep the inflation there or it will lose its luster.
The narcissist, typically subconsciously goes about trying to achieve the love needed from others because they do not know how to love themselves fully and are too empty to even understand what they could do to feel complete without the manipulation of others.
In their pursuit to gain your attention and be center stage, they believe that they have to first show you what you would be missing if they were not there. So they try to swoon you in an attempt to win you over. They come on hot and heavy often with what is referred to as love bombing. And throughout the relationship, when you wake up to some of your senses and start to question why you feel so drained and out of balance in life, they will quickly swoop back in with some love bombs to further confuse you.
Because you see the BIGGEST characteristic of a true narcissist is not the lack of empathy, however that is a major player, but it is the game of manipulation and gaslighting. Consistently making you feel off balance and question yourself.
There are many ways that narcissists go about confusing their prey but for today’s topic I want to address the term, “LOVE BOMBING,” as it makes being in a relationship with a narcissist ever so difficult to leave.
Narcissists are typically pretty intelligent, they are good at reading you. They can pick up on when you are starting to pay attention to the manipulations and seeing them for what they really are and in these moments they will, “Love Bomb,” you so your heart goes all a flutter and you you believe that they were just having a bad week at work, it was family trouble, health issues, their hormones, stress of one nature or another or just simply a miscommunication. They will have you believing in no time, or at least contemplating that perhaps it was not them, but instead you that was seeing things and acting out of place.
They do this through gaslighting, as they are masters of it.
What is gaslighting you may ask. Its something we hear so much about in today’s world, its a keyword for sure to be searched on, but here is the basic breakdown to assist you in recognizing your happy love bombing narcissist in action through gaslighting. Realize that these things will most likely occur with flowers , wine, a beautiful dinner or trip that was unexpected, or just snuggling on the couch or chatting where you believe that you are being heard and seen by them but in truth, the stage is only getting set for them to make you question reality.
🤯5 SIGNS OF GASLIGHTING NARCISSISTS ARE MASTERS OF
1.They tell blatant lies, they may say it was a white lie, a lie of omission or even that you misconstrued their words or the event, but it’s still all the same.
2.Deny they said or did it, EVEN THOUGH there is evidence. Yes they will go to the grave telling you it is not so and that you are mistaken. They will attempt guilt, pity, shame and anything that they can to make you believe differently than the evidence right before your eye’s.
3.They will use what is near and dear to you as ammo against you. They are masters at playing take away. If you don’t see it their way then they will take their ball or yours for that matter home with them and give you the space that you are asking for, see how much they care? They will also attempt to sabotage you through people close to you by talking smack, sharing secrets and revealing their “concern” for you as though they are wanting to help when in fact they are just setting a stage for you to look and feel crazy.
4.They wear you down over time. THIS is possibly one of the most used and overt things that a narcissist does. How they go about wearing you down comes back to the love bombing, and the using what is near and dear to you as ammo. They are patient MFers and they will just sit and wait for their prey to forget all the “stuff” back there that they were manipulating. Understanding that time has a way to get us to not see clearly and forget the details that were getting them busted.
5. They throw in positive reinforcement! (AKA Love Bombing) and empathy, support, caring, being kind, being sweet, giving space, etc. And they do this as a way to confuse you. They understand that confusion weakens people. So they will love bomb you as well as gain positive reinforcement from others who they have aligned with them in “concern” for you. That is where you will hear such statements as, “ You are overreacting or are crazy.” – “They will tell you that everyone else is lying to you and that they are not liked by the others in your life, that’s why these things are being said/done and the reason youa re feelingthe way you are.” – They will reach out to those they have been aligning with to get them to support these things and further question yourself.
What is love bombing you may wonder?
10 SIGNS YOU ARE BEING LOVE BOMBED BY A NARCISSIST
👉They lavish you with gifts. Yes, that is correct. They will be excessive, they will buy jewelry, trips, the finests of fine and work hard to impress you. Which as a stand alone is nothing to fear, and can just be romance from a partner that wants to honor and adorn you, show their appreciation and love and share beautiful experiences with you. However, the love bomb narcissist will do this pretty much out the gates to win you over and not try and get to know you as much as win you. UNTIL – You don’t give thanks and appreciation the way they deem fit, then they will take their lavish gifts home with them and remove evidence of them as it will cause them too much pain to have the memories..
👉Compliment rich! Never without telling you how great you are, beautiful, smart or awesome. The love bomb narcissist will feed off of the understanding that we all can use a pat on the back, appreciation, applauds and a pick me up. The love bomb narcissist cannot help themselves. You can do no wrong and make no error with this soul. -UNTIL you do, and then you don’t care about them and you have misconstrued everything. Then the tides will tip.
👉Bombard you with calls and texts. Or love letters or letters of appreciation. Again we all want and need communication, connection, and support, however the love bombing narcissist will give it in excess and expect it to come back the same. After all, they are doing it out of love and concern for you and the support of the relationship, so if you do not hold up your side of the excessive “communication & appreciation” then you are the one who is being selfish.
👉They want your undivided attention. Love bombing narcissists HAVE TO BE THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD. They will find competition with all other relationships that you have in your life. And they will assure you that they are not competing, but are just wanting connection. They will find drama or create drama to make sure that your focus is on them at all cost. If you are not giving them the adequate amount of your mental, emotional and physical time then they take this as a sign that you do not care and that YOU are the one suffering from a lack of empathy, no matter what is going on in your life and world, they are the most important thing in it.
👉They try to convince you that you are a soulmate. I love this one. I have been “the one” and had a “stream of consciousness” supposedly with so many people that I think that my eyes might be stuck in the back of my head from all of my eye rolling. Seriously though, the love bombing narcissist is INSISTENT AF that there is a unique and special connection between you and them and they are willing to go to the greatest of measures to prove it. So just do yourself a favor and start feeling it like they do, why don’t you. ( Know that in true soulmate connections or where you feel that you are on the same wavelength with another in emotion, thought and intention that both parties will feel and think this and there is zero need to convince or point to things to make it obvious, you just know. Never allow someone to tell you how connected you are to them if you don’t feel that connection yourself.)
👉They want your commitment & they want it NOW! Love bombing narcissists demand your loyalty and commitment, they want to know that you are there for them and they will tell you all the ways they have your back. This will show early on in a relationship and only grow stronger in the demands for you to commit the way they desire for you to show up as the relationship progresses. There is no conversation about what your style or needs around commitment is. It’s only what they deem right.
👉They get highly upset when you place boundaries. This is a big sign of a narcissist in general. If you want to see a narcissist go stir crazy, act pathetic, and wounded like you cannot imagine and even become deathly ill, or literally get mad AF and have a manic break, set your boundaries and they will tell you how wishy washy you are, how they don’t understand you, and how you must really be going through things because this just came out of nowhere. They will attempt to make you believe that your boundaries somehow are causing them all their pain and suffering and that you “should” reconsider your actions if you REALLY cared about them.
👉They are overly needy. We hear about how needy narcissists are, well the love bombing narcissist is even more excessive in their need for emotional support and physical time spent with them. They are what you might refer to as “high maintenance” and may even appear as though they have an anxious love attachment style.
👉You may feel overwhelmed by their intensity. Love bomb! Love bomb! Pay attention to ME, ME, ME. Are you mad at me? What’s wrong? Here I thought you could use this. Yes, all of these things and the constant demand on your time and energy may cause you to feel overwhelmed. No relationship of any definition should require you to feel overwhelmed and exhausted or have you questioning your own sanity (unless the person is actually deathly ill and needing constant support, this is not a reasonable expectation in a relationship).
👉You will feel out of balance and unsorted. Love bombing narcissists and narcissists in general drain you of your vitality. They make you question who you are, what you are doing and feeling and this tends to leave you in a state of feeling lost in yourself, empty and unbalanced. You may have trouble focusing, getting your work done, setting goals, sleeping or just decompressing because the demands from the narcissist relationship never feel to let up.
So all of this and for what?
So that they feel worthy and lovable.
Yes, the narcissist at the end of the day is the saddest one in the relationship, because they are a soul who cannot find peace and love from within and believes that these things can only come from outside of themselves. As you will someday most likely set the boundaries needed and apply the distance required for your own healing from this relationship, the narcissist will be left starving and dependent to find yet another to prey on so they can see the beauty in their reflection once again.
For they believe that the image they see cannot be true without another seeing it as well.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn what makes you available for the narcissist relationship and how you can overcome calling them in? Discover how you can recover your heart from these relationships and how to see the writing on the wall before you enter a potential new one. DFW peeps explore my June 5th workshop on these topics and for a more comprehensive healing and coaching ask me about my 1:1 around thi dating and relationship epidemic now.
Photo credit DandelionImages

YOUR MAN IS COMMITTED TO YOU IF…

 

YOUR MAN IS COMMITTED TO YOU IF…

 

Men speak different commitment languages than we women do. 

And sometimes they are difficult to understand. 

Am I right ladies?

 

It’s typically not in our face. 

They are not as emotional typically about their love for us. 

And yet they are. 

If you look into the eyes of a man in love with his woman you will see a light, a passion, a furry and a fear. He will anger more easily. He will be more sensitive. He will laugh frequently and he will want to connect. However, he may not write sonnets and poetry or a hit love song for us.

 

Your man is committed to you if he can truly know you. 

If you allow him to see you, feel you and you show that he can trust you.

Today’s world has women being commitment phobes more than men. 

Women are untrusting of the masculine and don’t believe that there are any good guys out there, they are not wanting to settle for just someone that is okay, they want the whole package. They want the “WOW” factor you could say for them to say yes and mean it.

And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to commit to a relationship that is not aligned and you find yourself truly in love fully with the person. The issue is that the wow factor for many women still resembles an outside persona, and can tend to be very superficial even. 

I have spoken with many  women who are caught up on the size of a potential partner’s manhood just as much as they want to know the size of his bank account. As if either of these two things guarantee love, happiness, or soul alignment.

 

All these things do is to support our men not feeling accepted in a relationship. 

Acceptance is probably the number one challenge that men have in relationships and being able to fully lean into and trust a potential life partner. 

 

There is the old statement about how men never want their woman to change, while women enter relationships looking at what the man can become. We say that we see all this greatness in our guy and that’s all we want for him, for him to be his best and that we support it. However, what we’re actually stating is that we are not 100% with the man that he is right now! 

 

So we enter the relationship conditionally.

Expecting change.

Not happy with who he is. 

And he can feel that ladies. 

He knows that you are not accepting of him. 

And that keeps him from wanting to commit, it keeps his heart shut down to you. 

Granted he may still fall in love, he may push through the lack of acceptance, 

After all, your beautiful eyes looking up at him during an intimate moment can wash all his concerns away, but it still will reside there under the surface and haunt him.

Simple fact: he needs to feel accepted by you.

And in order for you to accept him….

You need to freakin’ accept yourself first. 

 

Get this ladies, ACCEPTANCE is one of the ways our men show us that they are committed and feeling love for us. They look for ways to show that they accept us for just being us. They might tell us how beautiful we are first thing in the morning. They may kiss us with our teeth not brushed. They may watch us shower or dress. They will cuddle us when we are sick. They will hold us when we cry. They will shut up and NOT try to fix the problem but just let us share.

 

Which leads me to another thing guys do when they are revealing they are committed and in love…

They show empathy. Empathy is a two way street of revealing. To truly have empathy we have to be emotionally mature. We have to want to be transparent with our partner and share our feelings as much as we want them to share theirs. Empathy is about seeking happiness in conflict instead of being right, it shows that we value and respect our partners needs, desires and wants instead of focusing on finger pointing. When your man shows empathy he is saying that he has an emotional bond with you and values your heart and feelings. 

 

When your man is in “the feels” with you his primal protective nature will stand out loud and proud. His presence level when you are out and about will be on fire, he will be more consciously aware of the surroundings. He will want to make sure that you are kept safe. Not because you are fragile and weak, not because you need him to save you, but because you are special to him and he wants to make sure that he is protecting you not just through showing you empathy, but also physically from any harm that may be in your midst. The protective lover reveals himself by opening doors, seating himself to see the room, looking around spaces and corners, perhaps making sure that you walk on the inside furthest away from danger, etc. This protective nature plays a role emotionally as well, because he does not want to cause your heart pain either. He wants to guard you and show you his love so he will be more conscious of his actions and words as well. 

 

Which leads yet to another thing men in love and committing to a woman will do.

He will learn you. 

Yes he will learn your love languages ladies. 

He will learn what is meaningful to you and he will want to perform these acts for you, because he wants you to feel loved and cherished. He wants you to know how he adores and respects you. How he honors you. He will not insist that you feel love the way he deems right or understands. Just like he will learn your body and learn what pleasures you. He will want to see you smile, laugh, relax, feel safe and orgasm because this will bring him fulfillment and show his love and commitment to you.

 

Men move at all speeds in a relationship. Depending on how hungry they are for the feminine, depending on what their wounding from previous relationships are like and how much work they have taken upon themselves to heal and trust themselves again and certainly depending on how long they have witnessed us women in life. If a man has taken the time to view his lady love in different situations, and feels that he has truly seen her then he is far more motivated to progress the relationship along. Sometimes, this progression happens early on with him showing inclusivity. When a man asks you to come to a work function, meet his friends or family or asks for input on plans he is saying I want to go deeper with you. He is saying that your thoughts about things matter to him and that he wants you to see more of him on all levels as well. He is also showing that he trusts you as he would not be opening up these parts of his life to you if he did not want to lean and trust more.

 

Now when a man sets his mark, feels that he wants to deepen things even more and he feels as though you are aligned and can have a common mission you could say in life then he will show you his love and commitment to you, to the love he is feeling and to the relationship by leading it.  He will want to progress. He will let his desire be known. This is where he may suggest living together, or spending more time together, or make long term plans. He will inquire what your goals are, needs or ideas are for the coming years. He will no longer just speak about the next date or a trip but be speaking about years in the future. 

 

Your man’s commitment to you is revealed to you as you reveal yourself to him and he believes that you are aligned. 

 

So beautiful woman, let him see you.

Feel you. 

And experience your truth. 

Stop hiding or masking. 

Stop giving him what you believe he wants to see and feel.

That will only cause uncertainty. 

 

And As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to live out loud, free and in love.

Manifest your soul relationship today.

Reach out to me for mentoring and the law of attraction in love, abundance and life happiness now.

THE ILLUSION OF ATTRACTION IS NOT THE FOUNDATION OF LOVE OR COMPATIBITY.

MEN WHO APPRECIATE THE ILLUSION ARE NOT COMMITTED TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

Ladies it’s time we queens get real with what we want in a man.

It’s time we stop hyper focusing on establishing attraction when what we really need and want is trust.

 

So often I work with beautiful women who keep drawing in crappy guys, however on the front side of the relationship the man appeared to have it all going on. The woman looked at him and said, “we have such chemistry,” when in fact what she thought was chemistry was actually attraction and because they never took a significant timeframe to actually get to know each other and see if they had true chemistry, mutual supportive beliefs, lifestyles and likes, but instead just got caught on the perception of each other they found themselves to not be compatible down the road.

 

90% of first dates today are with total strangers.

 

Why is that alarming? I mean after all our dating world is on apps, social media and dating sites. It’s how we meet people in this ocean of humans that are looking for love.

 

Today’s dating world breeds a hyper focus on the creation of attraction.

Attraction is what is sought after for both men and women alike.

We swipe left and right, heart the ones we consider a match and start up conversations of the superficial level to match our superficial ideals of what a match is to begin with.

 

Opening lines of , “How’s your day going?”

or, ” Got any plans for the weekend?”

 

Are meant to show interest and say, ” I am curious about you and your life, not just jumping into bed with you.”

 

The hope is that the party inquiring will be viewed as a conscious, present, attentive, empathetic, mature individual who has more to offer and desires more than just physical intimacy.

 

Even though the reality is what the reality is.

We date in today’s world to gain physical intimacy.

Thats why its called a “hookup society,” because we are into the quick get off and call it connection.

 

Dinner, drinks, movie, superficial chat and that should lead to sex.

Well as long as there is mutual attraction right?

Because that is what a rock solid connection is built on.

That is what relationships stand strong on.

That is what makes lifetime bonds and makes partners commit to the relationship.

 

Well, it certainly can get you a relationship.

It can get you married even.

The house.

The car.

The lifestyle.

Mutual attraction or at least enough attention and appreciation to the perception of how someone is showing up physically regardless of how they are attracted back to you or not, can land you these things.

 

But, it will not  land you love and compatibility nor trust.

 

You see, so often we women are guilty of “making ourselves up, or putting our faces on, making ourselves beautiful.” however what we are saying is I don’t believe that you will love me, appreciate me, accept me in my raw authentic state. I know that you want to see me adorned like this so that you are proud of who you have on your arm and in return…

 

We women get the above lifestyle options.

 

The mere statement of “putting on my face,” should speak volumes.

I don’t want you to see me.

I am not comfortable in my own skin.

I feel like I am not good enough.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, the act of putting on makeup or doing your hair and nails, changing dresses fifteen times because you can’t find the right one for that moment, wanting to be beautiful for the moment and for your date, your partner is not superficial or inauthentic. We women should want to look beautiful and feel beautiful in the relationship and for our partners. Loving someone makes us want to be our best and show our best.

 

But a long term, committed, real relationship that is based in love and truth  never finds its foundation on physical attraction.

But instead it is based on trust.

 

The reason why so many marriages end in divorce is because trust was either never there to begin with or it was broken along the way and never focused on for repair. It requires emotional maturity to want to repair the trust or to have it to begin with. In today’s dating and relationship times, we find ourselves dating strangers, expecting that we should know who they are from a few hours a week face to face time and some texting or calls between. We go on dates that are surface level, where we entertain ourselves and never dig deep to reveal who this other person is nor ourselves to them.

 

That’s what we have to do these days.

We have to uncover who this other person is.

Just twenty years ago we spent more time getting to know each other, we dated people that were from our churches, social communities, gyms, school. We had some ideas about who they were.

Fifty years ago and further, when two people  started to explore a relationship it was because they already had an awareness of each other. Chances are they had known or been around each other in lots of instances through family, friends and community.They were involved in similar lifestyles and beliefs. They shared community, friends and views most often. So they had certain compatibilities that they were aware of before the first date ever happened.

 

Today, often we don’t know what we are compatible with.

The catalog of possibilities is too vast.

We are detached from ourselves, not knowing who we are, what is socially acceptable or not, how our views will make us attractive or not and we are longing for the attraction factor because we believe that if we are attracted then we can figure out the rest as we go.

 

This simply is not healthy nor true and only sets us up for a run of one night stands with “pretty people” or what we find attractive.

Perhaps our attraction is to the holistic, crunchy, yoga minded, meditative, raw foodie personality. If someone presents this image and we find them physically attractive in it, then we are likely to “believe or think ” that they are compatible. If they say all the right woke statements then we believe that they are an elevated soul, empathetic, and we lay our trust in them prematurely.

 

Trust is established by getting down to the dirty details of someone.

By investing the time, energy and authentic deep inquiry with them to see how much you really align, outside of how attracted to their face, body, or comments you may be. Trust is only established from witnessing someone and seeing them in the real and raw, watching them cope with different things and engage in multiple relationships such as with their children, friends, the waitress at the restaurant, a work call, ther dog, etc. Trust is revealed over the course of hundreds of hours face to face with someone.

 

And from this trust is revealed the REAL PERSON.

Make up or not.

Their truth comes out and you see alignment with them which you can commit to and fall in love with or you see division.

 

The relationship that simply appreciates the illusions that we put forward to be perceived in some fashion typically is looking for superficial connection and relating and is not wanting commitment or to build a lifetime relationship of the heart.

 

Becoming aware of what we truly are looking for at any given time in our lives around relationships, and getting right with whatever that is and calling for what it is will help prevent pain in our dating and is a major step toward emotional maturity and acceptance of self.

 

Which is the foundation of trust.

To know thyself first so that you know what is truly compatible and in alignment or not.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to live out loud, free and in love.

 

Manifest your soul relationship today.

 

Reach out to me for mentoring and the law of attraction in love, abundance and life happiness now.

DON’T LET LIFE GASLIGHT YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.

 

I REMEMBER TAKING THIS PICTURE WITH MY DOG RUDDY… I HAD JUST TURNED 16.

 

The year was 1992.

It was autumn, my favorite season and I was madly in love with a boy. I got my mom to take this picture of me to send a hard copy  (yeah no texting or email back then) it was snail mail… to my boyfriend who was in boot camp.

We wrote to each other daily.

Hating to be apart, however, the game plan was that he served four years and that would get him the college he wanted plus provide us housing, loans and opportunities once I was of legal age.

I had freshly graduated high school myself, and was working at my mothers clothing store in a small Northern California town that I call home, Chico. Under her thumb I listened to her daily fearfully warn me of his ill intentions. Telling me about how he was most likely cheating on me, running around with his buddies and doing who knows what. She warned me that he would abandon me like my father had abandoned us. Her anger for the masculine was obvious and yet I listened, wanting to know her thoughts but not feeling in alignment with them at my core.

I believed differently.

I trusted him.

I loved him.

And we had plans together.

 

My mother, bless her resting soul, I know had the best desires for me, however through the course of time she managed to teach me one very unuseful thing.

 

TO NOT TRUST MY HEART.

 

Her rampage about my boyfriend often ended with her anger and bitterness toward my father. I would and still do recall her many tales to me of how she hated being married, how she felt controlled but that was the bed she had to be in. She proclaimed her status as a victim to life and to the relationship and she shared openly her pains about it with myself from the youngest of ages. I was forever her sounding board. Although her desires for my life were most likely set in love, they did bare with them the idea that I was going to be used without choice by the masculine and to NOT trust men at all cost. Try as I might to ignore her feelings and beliefs and hold firm to my own, they did manage to seep into my psyche and have caused me much pain through my adult years.

 

Because you see, my mothers fears and experiences ended up laying the foundation to me doing what I felt I “had or should” do in life and relationships instead of following my intuition and heart or soul. As a young adult, I had no idea that I was in as much control of the outcomes of my life as I understand now. I believed that I was a victim to what life handed me and that I had to make the most “logical or smart” choices for my survival as I could.

And so, I got married to a man a decade my senior at 18. I had babies. I worked a job. I focused on setting up the house that appeared “normal and expected of me” and I was unhappy to my core.

 

I did not chase the boy who held my heart at that time.

I let him go, believing that he had abandoned me just like my mother predicted.  And because life tends to give us what we expect, he did walk away from me. Or run from the wrath of my mother, but that’s a different tale for another day.

 

My mom was so happy the day I got married.

She was ecstatic the day I gave birth to my eldest child, a daughter.

I recall her tears on both events and her grabbing me with sheer delight.

 

I wanted to make my mom proud.

I wanted to be different from other teenagers and young adults.

I knew I was intelligent and a self-learner.

I knew that I was pretty logical and sound in my reason,

that I was wise beyond my years.

After all, adults much older than I told me so often.

And perhaps I was.

But I wanted to do right.

And with the learning that my mother taught me to NOT TRUST MY HEART, but instead listen to only my mind and always make the smart play, I opened the gateway to listening to others, especially my husband. 

I knew that my heart was unreliable.

It would do nothing but get me into trouble.

 

So when he would tell me that I was thinking, doing or acting a certain way because of……

Or that what I really wanted was….

Or that I would just enjoy this or that if I allowed myself…

Because he knew, I tended to believe him even though it felt off inside my body and heart.

 

Fast forward a few decades, My second long term relationship with a man ended with him telling me that maybe I just did not know how to be happy and did not know what  love really was.

This man too also told me how I felt, why I felt this way and what I was thinking.

 

Both managed to get me to question my own reasoning, my feelings,my emotions, my actions and thoughts and they were strongly supported in their efforts to lead me on the best course of life by my mothers teachings of don’t listen to your heart but instead make the smartest play for your survival.

 

Neither relationship fulfilled me.

Neither relationship felt right.

Neither relationship was based in love,

they were based in mind.

 

And both relationships were guilty of gaslighting.

They both acted not in my best interest or even the best for the family, but instead acted according to the best interest in my partners desires, needs and ego. Whether that be sexually, business, moving houses, friendships, child rearing or what I did with my spare time or how I showed up as a partner.

What they wanted mattered more than what was right for me.

And I spent a ton of my adult years believing that this was the only way.

 

WOW! Was I ever wrong?

One day I discovered something different.

One day a spiritual teacher of mine confronted me on my allowance of such events and why I was choosing to ignore my greatest gift.

 

My GPS system to my soul, to life and to my power.

This teacher then spent a few years helping me transform my debilitating beliefs and showed me that the things that I feared were nothing to fear if I (get this…) listened to my heart and intuition. Through trial and error in learning myself again and coming home to ME, I rediscovered my path.

 

My power as a soul living a human experience and a co-creator of my life.

 

I found true connection with a partner where I feel certain in revealing myself and am not afraid to challenge him when I feel my soul and heart are not being heard.

 

I have discovered that I can show up just as I am and not need to sacrifice anything of myself to have that love based connection, nor feel safe and be able to trust and surrender in the relationship.

 

I have discovered that this coming home to my heart and soul,

the listening to my intuitions which at my core I have always known to be true, will ONLY GUIDE ME TO MY HIGHEST AND BEST LIFE in all areas.

 

And that is powerful  AF!

 

We adults forget ourselves.

We change the way we transmit things in our brains by not using our creative sides, by ignoring what we feel and our curiosity.

We allow ourselves to create a time loop in our life where every day is groundhog day and we are okay with it because it is comfortable and safe, but we are not happy.

 

Today I challenge you to inquire with the self and to ask “Why am I not happy?” Really allow yourself to dig deep into your heart with this. Move past the ideas and conscripts that you have been taught that THIS IS what happiness is and that it is not okay to not be happy with the lot you have allowed yourself.

 

Ask yourself, “If I truly allowed myself to be/do/have anything that I wanted, how would I be choosing to show up in life, love, relationship right now?”

 

You are worthy of a life that makes you happy.

You are worthy of feeling and knowing that you are powerful.

But you have to first challenge the way you have allowed yourself to be gaslighted in life. Don’t accept that your core, your soul, your heart are faulty and that all that matters is the mind, your feelings about things are gifts from something more than what you believe is you.

 

START THERE.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Summer is upon us.

I have many local DFW workshops coming up to help you get educated, transform the way you move through life, let go of anxiety, fear and find your power once more. Reach out to me for deet’s and links on these, and for anyone looking to go deep in the work of YOU let’s chat about 1:1 mentoring where I can share what my master teachers shared with me so many years bacak that awakened me to my power and truth. Message me now for summer specials.

YOU’RE NOT HIGH VIBE YOU’RE HIGH MAINTENANCE.

“I HAVE EMOTIONAL NEEDS.
I HAVE PHYSICAL DESIRES.
I REQUIRE A MAN THAT CAN MATCH THESE THINGS.
So maybe I am picky.
Maybe I am needy some would say.
But I look at it as though I only like to be with a partner that is “high vibe” and can meet me where I am at.
I am a high vibe woman and I want a conscious man who gets me.”
This was the conversation that I recently had with a woman on a discovery call and from the outside perspective you could say that she is correct. That she is deserving of a relationship that can give her what she needs and more power to her for being a turned on woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it in relationship as well as in life.
I couldn’t agree more.
The problem with this tale that I am not sharing is that this woman is far from “high vibe.”
Now she is what many men would call beautiful.
Some would say hot AF!
They would love to lay with her.
However, they would also classify her as high maintenance.
And this is something that most women certainly try to not be.
The term alone leaves a bad flavor in your mouth.
But then we women wonder what does it even mean?
Most men believe that women in general are high maintenance.
Women have different needs then men in emotional connection, time spent and sex for sure making them appear as though they need more maintence…
Here however is the problem.
Relationships are NOT cars.
Women are not vehicles to drive and maintain.
Nor are men.
You don’t do things to maintain them.
You do the things you do in a relationship to deepen the relationship, the bond, the love. To expand it. To grow together.
If you are merely “maintaining” your relationship or partner then is it/them truly the right fit for you? And why are you doing that relationship to begin with?
Yet we all do this, don’t we?
We all get ourselves into relationship situations with people that need to be “maintained” which is where the term originated.
And some individuals are higher maintenance than others.
I count myself as a low maintenance partner.
I don’t require much you could say.
And some would think that statement to say that I have low self-esteem or poor boundaries. That I don’t desire or even require a partner that matches me, or maybe I am “vibing” so low that I am groovy with a low vibe man.
Trust me I have had low vibe men before, they come with all size pocket books, all types of bodies, and spiritual beliefs as well as political views.
Being low vibe has NOTHING to do with any of those things.
Nor does HIGH VIBE.
Or being “conscious or woke” as our world is loving to say these days.
I can tell you that “high maintenance” on the other hand has everything to do with those.
But has nothing to do with one’s personal needs and boundaries on lifestyle. Such as fitness, diet, personal time or growth, or even personal grooming, etc. These are personal maintenance requirements. We all have them. They do not make us high maintenance, they are just how we choose to live and build our lives unless there is an extreme to any of them and we cannot accept life without them being met constantly.
High maintenance can be any relationship and with either sex.
Now we understand that our children are high maintenance relationships, especially when they are young. If someone is suffering from an illness or is recovering from some situation then they will need more in the relationship then when they are not.
High maintenance like this woman above clearly revealed she was to me on our call is different.
And to help all the “conscious souls” the “chosen woke” and the “high vibe” men and women alike I wanted to clarify what this term truly means for you.
You may think after this list that another word for high maintenance is narcissist.
Because it sorta could be. 🙂 and that’s why it leaves that nasty flavor from saying it and makes you feel like sh*t if you are called it, unless you’re it then you do what you do best IGNORE REALITY.
Inflexible – yes inflexible AF! hard boundaries around what they have planned and “need to do” and when. It’s their schedule and time line above everything and everyone else. The high maintenance relationship/partner expects that others make adjustments to meet their schedule needs at all cost and is highly offended or upset, hurt if others do not. “Spoiled child syndrome here you might say.”
Never satisfied – Finicky you could call them. Sure don’t get me wrong, knowing what you want or need is a positive and sharing it is great. However the high maintenance relationship/partner will not be happy with things going any way but their way. They are among the hardest people to please. They will say that this is good and then be hiding their true feelings until they pop out a few days or weeks later with how you ignored them, never pay attention to what they really want, don’t care and it shows in your actions and that they are tired of having to tell you what they need/want.
Easily upset by limited or lack of communication – or what they perceive as such. The high maintenance relationship/partner will say that they are with a narcissist who does not want to give them time. They will say that they are just wanting emotional connection. And they will claim that if you do not give it at the level and in the fashion that they require that you are ignoring them, not wanting to commit or communicate. If you don’t give them the time, communication and energy that they “need” to feel loved and appreciated then they will retract and put up their walls because you don’t value them. Basically the high maintenance relationship/partner considers every need to be urgent.
Critical Minded on Steroids- these sort of relationships/partners will ask for help or assume that everyone should see that they need help and then when they get it, they b*tch about how something is done. “he always loads the dishwasher wrong.” “If I want something done right, then I have to do it myself.” ” I needed this brand, nothing else will work.” Partners who chastise their partners for such things and are fussy to the level that they cannot accept that people are different in the way they handle and do things might want to realize that they are high maintenance and wearing their partners out.
Never satisfied – This truly is part B to the above but stands alone as well. High maintenance relationships/partners are never happy with self, with others, life, money, health, house, car, travel, anything. No matter what, it’s never enough. Which is why all the above items are here too. You will never be able to be enough for the high maintenance relationship.
Can’t handle surprises or change – I recall going to Costa Rica with a lover who had been married once upon a time. When we arrived we noticed that my suitcase was wet. He had put two bottles of white wine in my suitcase in the states for travel and we both assumed that the bottles had broke. He was horrified and troubled. He looked at me with fearful eye’s and took full blame for the event, saying that he should have never put them in my suitcase. They should have gone in his bag. I was so happy to be away with him on this trip seeing a new destination, I simply said, ” that’s okay, I am sure we can get the clothes laundered and if need be buy whatever is needed in the interim. It’s just wine and thankfully its white wine.” he was shocked and kept checking on my emotional status for the next few hours while we got to our hotel. He explained that his ex would have ruined the whole trip over this.
The high maintenance relationship/partner does just this, ruins the date, the trip, the event, the moment because something wonky happens. Life has zero room to happen with this type of person, making the relationship all the more stressful.
Status is a must typically- not all high maintenance relationships/partners require a big bank account or at least a six figure income or more of a partner. Some focus on emotional needs more than financial, however many do require certain financial needs to be met. These relationships cannot be happy with anything that is just status quo or “less than” what they perceive is “needed” and that is how they look at it. They “need” the designer purse, shoes, the mansion, the 5 star this or that. Or you are saying they don’t matter and you don’t value them. They will say that the higher the consciousness of the man (typically speaking here) or partner then of course their bank account will match their consciousness, their “high vibe” and that they demand this matching. The high maintenance financial relationship/partner can never date or be with someone who cannot meet their financial needs.
Emotional Neediness at extreme levels- like I already said, we all have emotional needs and women have different needs than men generally. Women need to vent and be heard more so than men and men need more space than women. However the high maintenance relationship/partner takes emotional needs to a new level. Demanding that you listen to them no matter what is going on in your life. You could be sick in bed with food poisoning and the high maintenance relationship/partner will find an urgent event in their life that takes priority over you. They will then get their panties in a wad if you don’t jump to “helping” them however they deem fit in a timely fashion.
All this maintenance is exhausting to say the least.
Which is why so many people try to avoid being it or getting into a relationship with someone who is it.
Yet, much like the narcissist, the high maintenance person is great at fooling people.
Manipulation is part of the game.
They are cunning like a fox and just as beautiful often.
However they will show you quickly who they really are by revealing the above items and you may notice that when in their presence you feel “less” in some fashion.
You may feel like they are always watching you, jealous over silly things, demanding on time and space. You will notice that any retraction from them will cause a whirlwind of trouble emotionally for them because the reality is that the high maintenance person is low vibe, needing your vibe to lift them up and make them feel worthy, lovable, valued and alive. Without you there to carry them they feel lost in themselves because that is their true nature.
Lost and empty.
They are easily bought.
Because their only boundaries are based on their said “needs” that they believe they cannot achieve for themselves so they must require it in their relationships.
And above all else,
the high maintenance partner, much like the narcissist partner typically cannot see these traits in self. Making it difficult for them to heal and even more tragic for those that love them to support them by telling them the truth.
“The world does not revolve around you nor does it owe you anything!”
High maintenance partners will not tolerate such ridiculous dishonoring.
Simply put the high maintenance relationship/partner is draining AF!
So if you are one STOP IT.
And if you are with one, wake the f-k up and stop the insanity of taking responsibility for this lost soul who is leeching off your energy, time and bank account.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living”
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Narcissits and HMR are exhausting low vibe relationships that you don’t deserve in your life. Want to learn how to raise your vibe and call in a soulmate relationship that supports who you are and fulfills your hearst desire? Reach out to me today.

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MAKES YOU QUESTION YOUR SANITY.

WE JUST HAD A DIFFERENCE OF VIEWPOINT HE SAID.

 

There I lay in a fetal position on the driveway cement holding my knee.

We had been arguing.

He was drunk.

I tried to stop him from driving away so blocked the driver’s door from closing. He grabbed a hold of my leg that was blocking and pushed with all his force backward on my knee and to the side. I fell immediately to the ground from the intense pain.

Rolling into fetal position just as I watched the car door swing over my head. Had I not tucked myself into that ball the door would have cracked open my skull in the forceful slamming he did before pulling out of the drive and away.

Leaving me there.

 

I was in shock.

I was scared.

I was angry.

I knew my world had shifted.

But never did I think that he would completely ignore what he had done.

 

Time passed after our separation and still years later he says,

“We just have a difference on views of what happened.”

 

Repeatedly he told me that, that is not what occurred.

He affirmed that I was the one in the wrong.

I was the one who was being rash.

He even informed officers that I attacked him.

I was the violent one.

And perhaps he believes his own gaslighting.

 

Perhaps he really thinks that I harmed myself.

Or that I over reacted.

Granted my knee differs with his opinion.

As does my heart and mind.

My memory of it all.

 

Three years ago today this event happened.

Today I am eternally grateful for it happening.

I still say that if he wanted our relationship over all he ever had to say was so. There was never a need for violence and pain.

But it is what it is.

And it is perfect and beautiful in so many ways.

Today I get to have a soul based, heart centered relationship with the man that I want to spend the rest of my years with because I was set free three years ago.

Today I get to see clearly how dangerous gaslighting can be,

and because of this instance and others like it I can see how commonplace it is.

I have spent countless hours examining the events of this day from then and I have looked at ALL the other examples that I was so blind too of when he in his calmness showed zero empathy to situations.

 

When he walked away from me bleeding after a miscarriage.

When my heart was broken from a loss.

When I was in fear over my ailing mothers dementia.

When my daughter went missing for a week.

 

I told myself that it was his strong masculine energy that had him locked up, armoured up and protected.

I told myself that he was actually very deep feeling and just did not know how to process his emotions.

I told myself that his past traumas had him armoured and fearful of feeling.

 

I told myself that I SHOULD have more empathy and compassion for what he was going through.

 

In the midst of the crisis I sat and told myself to be stronger.

ALONE.

 

And when he would not come around,

I blamed myself repeatedly, believing that I was the one who needed to change,

who needed to conform,

who was to gravel for forgiveness and show mercy, show sympathy, and love unconditionally.

 

Yes. I believed that he was not at fault for any of our misunderstandings and that I was just being an “emotional girl” like I had been told so many times before.

 

I questioned my own views, feelings, and beliefs.

I even questioned my actions.

 

And as I sit here today and in times past of exploring this gaslighting, I can see ever so clearly how my previous relationship of almost twenty years did the same thing.

I can see how my mother and my father both were guilty of it.

How since I was a little girl, that gaslighting of the feminine has been a thing.

 

So easy it is to tell we women that we are crazy.

It’s your hormones.

You’re “too” emotional.

Stop being so “feeling.”

 

And if I fast forward to just last year,

I see it here too in a few relationships.

I see it just this last few weeks even.

 

And who is known for gaslighting?

 

 

Narcissist.

But truly we are all guilty from time to time.

 

Two extremely “hot” words of our times, everyone loves pointing fingers about these psychological games of emotional war.

And they are very common.

Manipulative at the core.

 

You can be assured that those who use gaslighting as a tool to achieve what they want, which is zero blame, avoidance of their part in anything uncomfortable and control of another’s emotions and thus actions are pretty aware as to what they are doing.

 

They will smile at you,

pretend to care,

tell you they love you and are there for you,

all the while plotting how they can best get what they want.

 

When you are faced with someone of this nature,

You will repeatedly see that they avoid at all cost, talking about the past, they will say only the present moment matters and that you need to let that other stuff go, then flip and use the past against you but only the things where you let them down.

They will tell you constorted views on events.

They will sidestep answering for anything and point blame toward you or any other source possible.

They will constantly change subjects or just disregard.

They will show limited if any empathy toward where you are in the midst of crisis, trauma, pain or just dealing with the day but instead demand that you pay attention to what is going on with them and make them center stage.

They will project their feelings, fears, ideas and inner viewpoints of self onto you and tell you that THIS is what you are feeling and how you think.

 

And they will play take away with you.

You either play their game or lose to them.

You either see your evil ways and fault for it all and come to your knees, say your apologies and see that they are right, they are in more pain than you, need more time than you, or it’s over.

 

Yes we are all narcissists at times.

Yes we all have characteristics.

And the more traumatized soul psyche will show up in life like this frequently to protect themselves,

but  our past trauma DOES NOT make it acceptable to treat others like this consistently.

 

There is a significant difference in having healthy boundaries, being guarded and being a narcissistic gaslighting A-hole.

 

It truly comes down to taking responsibility for yourself.

Knowing that at the end of the day that we are responsible for the self, and the self alone and our actions in this world.

 

Knowing that if we are not happy,

if we are not connecting,

if we are not feeling healthy in any way,

that WE are responsible for ourselves.

 

For the narcissist, this means that they need to STOP insisting that they are the most important person in the world.

And that they are incharge of their own lives and cannot make anyone else responsible for making them feel important, happy, healthy, loved or anything else.

 

For the rest of us, this means the same as above and if you are in a relationship with a narcissist to take the responsibility to see it clearly and take the steps required to transform that relationship however that might look for YOUR OWN BEST HEALTH.

 

Which often means saying goodbye.

 

Today, I wish clarity for you.

Clarity and transformation in any toxic relationships that you might have.

Want advice on how to cope, transform and heal from these negative impacting relationships?

 

Reach out to me today for help.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”