Today I share with you not as a relationship coach, author or educator but as a human being with her own very human experiences and challenges.
Days like today, weeks like these last few, months like this year has been filled with, keep showing me the power of love — authentic love. Without, my man by my side each day I truly would crumble under the weight of somethings. It’s his strength, his leadership and guidance when I am in need, his compassion and love that give me wings and keep me on the battlefield facing the demons that I need to slay.
What demons might those be?
The demons created through time that travel within and rejoice in life chaos, pain, and triggers.
The demons that make me question, and cause fear to rise.
Yes, the demons on my past.
In the depths of my soul, I carry the scars of a love gone terribly wrong. It’s a love that once promised the world but left me shattered and confused. Today, I’m sharing my story, not as a triumphant survivor but as someone who’s still on the winding road to recovery, hoping to shine a light for others who may be trapped in a similar darkness.
Not too long ago, I found myself entangled in a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. The beginning was filled with charm, but it soon turned into a nightmare of manipulation and emotional torment. I became a prisoner within my own emotions, my self-esteem eroded, and my identity lost in the shadows.
Narcissistic abuse is a web that entangles your mind, heart, and soul. It’s not just emotional and psychological; it seeps into your physical well-being too. Stress, anxiety, and a sense of constant dread began to take a toll on my health. I developed physical symptoms and illnesses that seemed to mirror the emotional chaos within me.
The path to recovery from narcissistic abuse is far from linear. It’s a journey filled with twists and turns, moments of hope and despair. But in the midst of it all, I’ve had the profound truth that I have lived by for many years confirmed all the more — vulnerability can be a source of strength, and sharing our stories can be a lifeline for others.
I’ve learned that it’s okay not to have all the answers, to still carry the weight of emotional baggage, and to grapple with self-doubt. Recovery isn’t about magically healing all at once; it’s about taking one step at a time, even when your knees tremble with fear.
Through the darkest moments of my journey, I found someone who believed in me, a love that didn’t shy away from my brokenness. He didn’t have all the solutions, but he offered unwavering support, love and a listening ear. His love became my anchor as I embarked on this tumultuous path of healing.
Together, we’ve delved into therapeutic practices of all nature, embraced self-care, and slowly rebuilt my shattered self-esteem. It’s a slow process, and some days are better than others, but I’m beginning to see glimpses of the person I used to be — a person who’s strong, resilient, and capable of deep love and ecstatic joy.
My physical health, too, is beginning to show signs of improvement. The chronic ailments are gradually receding, and the stress-induced health complications are easing their grip. The connection between emotional and physical health has become unmistakable, a testament to the power of healing from within.
As I write this, I’m still in the midst of my journey. I don’t have all the answers, and I haven’t reached the destination of complete healing. But I want others who may be enduring a similar ordeal to know that they are not alone. There is hope, even on the darkest days, and courage can be found in vulnerability.
Know that through my content I will share on things that are working, what I am learning and relearning and being reminded of on this journey, in hopes that my lessons and awareness can somehow support and assist you too.
To those who are still on this road of recovery, I say this: Reach out for help, surround yourself with those who support you, and know that healing is possible, even when it feels distant. Embrace your vulnerability, for it is a source of strength and connection.
And to Craig who stands by me through this tumultuous journey, I offer my deepest gratitude and appreciation. Your love is a saving beacon of hope, a reminder that we can navigate this treacherous path together. Together, we’ll prove that even in the midst of pain and chaos, there is a path to healing and a chance to reclaim the light that is within.
In the midst of this challenging journey toward recovery from narcissistic abuse, I’ve come to realize the extraordinary strength and resilience that resides within us all. We are warriors, each and every one of us, battling our own demons and fighting for our own healing. It’s a journey of self-discovery, courage, and vulnerability.
Embracing our vulnerabilities doesn’t make us weak; it makes us stronger. Sharing our stories with honesty and authenticity can inspire others to find hope in their darkest moments. We are not defined by our scars but by the incredible strength it takes to heal from them.
As we continue down the winding road of recovery, let us remember that being a warrior in our own lives means never giving up, even when the path seems insurmountable. It means seeking help, leaning on our support systems, and nurturing self-love. It means understanding that the journey may be long, but it is worth every step.
With each day, each act of self-compassion, and each moment of vulnerability, we move closer to the light. We emerge as warriors, triumphant in our battles, and stronger than we ever thought possible. Together, we prove that resilience and love have the power to heal even the deepest wounds, and that, my friends, is a victory worth celebrating.
As always loving you from here.
Stop Existing & Start Living