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WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT WANTS TO GO AGAINST OUR BIOLOGY.

WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT WANTS TO GO AGAINST OUR BIOLOGY.

 

Well, mostly we women that is.

Guys will claim THIS, but somewhere inside they get it is not so, they know that they claim it to just keep that doorway there,

where we women tend to want to disregard, ignore and act as though we are above our biology.

 

It was not that long ago that I was one of these women myself.

I thought that I could manage it.

I truly believed that I could have the relationship and it just be what I was calling it and that both parties were feeling the same way.

I believed that we were elevated in consciousness to the level that sexual desire did not play a role and that I could seriously “just be friends” with my male friends and that they were down for it just being that and even wanted just that.

 

THEN I came into the awareness that most if not all of my male friends were actually attracted to me and that if given the opportunity would happily walk through the door of a sexual encounter with me.  So I justified the friendship by saying that they respected me and my wishes and that it was manageable.

I came to terms, with if a guy was hanging out in my life as a friend of some nature that he most likely wanted to bed me and I then believed that that was just the way it was and I had to accept it, but could still have the friendships, just needed to be aware.

 

After all, I am one of those women who has never not had a male friendship since I was 2 – years old.

I have had far more “good” friendships with men than with women over the course of my life.

The thought of giving up my male friendships pained me.

Feeling as though I would have no one left in my true friendship circle if I dumped the guys.

 

Then I had a few conversations with my son’s who are grown and almost grown, with some of these male friends, with male clients and even with my man.

 

Their shares can be summed up here,

“Why would I hang out with a female if I was not attracted to her? If I wanted to hang out for all the reasons we guys hang out and do what we guys do, then I would certainly choose to hang out with a guy friend, not a female.”

 

They all came back with, if they were hanging with a female there were desires to be with her intimately.

 

And I started to really allow myself to feel this.

To get right with male/female relating.

I looked at my conversations, my shared moments with the majority of my male friends and saw the intimateness.

Sure there was no sex, there was no kissing or intimate touch, but we certainly did share intimacy. Only the kind of intimacy that you can get from the opposite sex.

 

That vibe.

That feeling.

There was even a flirtiness at times.

 

Beautiful as it is, it is ground that is not stable.

And no matter how respectful and loyal a male friend can be to us women, if given the opportunity to have a door crack open and him get a chance to be with us, he will.

Meaning that if you are a committed woman, in any label of relationship out there (and I have been under a few labels over the course of the last two decades) that if you are pissed, upset, feeling disconnected in any fashion or form with YOUR MAN, and you share confidence with a male friend, know that you are cracking a door open.

 

If you are a single woman and you have guy friends,

and believe that they can maintain without issues,

understand first you are almost being cruel to the men in your life,

because without realizing it you are teasing them.

Yes just by being you.

Just by doing you.

 

If you want to be taken on dates,

experience the male energy,

etc. then perhaps looking at doing just that is the answer.

GO ON A DATE.

 

And realize that often the best romantic and intimate relationships are based in friendship.

The fact that you think of a man as a good friend,

If you have a trust, a vulnerability there, a fun playfulness with your male friend and you are both open to a relationship that is of more than your pseudo friendship, then maybe the universe has already blessed you with a wonderful man to explore in a romantic fashion.

 

If you are good with just “managing” these male relationships and keeping them at bay in some fashion, ask yourself:

 

💃 What am I really gaining from this friendship or looking for with it if I know that he wants me sexually but is just holding back because of what I have stated the boundaries are?

💃 How can this male friendship impact (positively /negatively) an intimate relationship I am in or want to be in?

💃 If I was in an intimate relationship with someone and they were having deep conversations, moments and connections of a vulnerable/intimate yet non-sexual version with another woman frequently what sort of impact would that have on the relationship? Emotionally? Physically?Energetically?

💃 What does significant other or primary relationship mean to me and how does opposite sex relationships outside of this hinder or support?

 

Now, I know what you might be feeling.

You may say, that is such an emotionally immature way of looking at relationships.

You may say that a “conscious man” is above this.

You may say that there is zero harm from being flirty with your male friends, no matter if you are in a romantic relationship or not with someone else.

You may actually believe and point to lifelong friendships that have never let you down and you are certain that they are “just a brother” to you.

 

I have thought all of this.

I have believed all of this.

And repeatedly been blown out of the water from these.

 

We cannot deny our biology.

Men are men.

Women are women.

And we relate differently.

We bond differently.

 

Men love boobs, booty, legs, hair, our eyes and are wanting to  explore us inside and out.

 

They will smile, chat it up, be helpful and drive from a state away to to  show us how much they want to  give us their attention.

They will support us in the worst of times.

They will applaud us in the best of times.

 

And they mean it.

But they still want the woman that stands before them.

They would not be putting their attention on us if they did not desire us in some fashion.

 

This is why so many men fall in the face of a woman’s attention.

Wars have been based, fought and won for the chance to be with a woman.

 

It’s just biology.

 

We women need to get right with it and stop being silly,

thinking that it’s harmless however.

 

Time to level up your relating.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Believing

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.

This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.

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FAR FROM F-CKING PERFECT…

FAR FROM F-CKING PERFECT.

That’s what I am.
And no matter where one goes,
There one still is.

That’s the life lesson we all need to learn.
Funny how we want to hide and mask who we are. We want to put under cover our imperfections or ride on the coat tails of those things that truly don’t make us who we are.
We want to flaunt our genius and our trauma.
In hopes that others will think grander of what we have overcome, when in truth the most powerful soul aligned and beautiful thing we can ever do is surrender to our perfectly imperfect humanness.

That surrender is shown with our ability to laugh and let go of all our needs of acting like we got it all goin’ on and perfect.
As though we have no troubles,
We have no doubts.
We have life figured out.
As though we know ourselves when the last thing we ever reveal is truth in who we are.

The soul that let’s the ego stand embarrassed is a soul on fire with self-love.

If you are anything like me,
You may find yourself looking in the mirror,
Judging yourself.
Your body.
Your finances.
Your life choices.
You may make excuses and call bullsh*t on yourself all in the same moment.

You may sit with your lover and wonder what they see in you.
Why are they still hanging out?
And in the same feel ever so grateful for the unconditional deep love they bring you into.

You may find yourself not wanting to mess up in life.
You may be super self critical and know that there is so much more that you could be and should be doing, hoping that no one discovers just how human you really are.

How far from f-cking perfect you actually reside.

Oh but baby,
You know what is beautiful beyond measure?
You know what show’s courage and strength like no other?

Taking the mask down.
Allowing yourself to see all those imperfections and loving yourself all the more.
Letting joy and play bless your life,
Knowing that when you truly connect,
Armour down with those you love,
That this is soul alignment.

That feeling.
That feeling of beauty that washes through you.
That feeling of happiness that shows itself upon your face.
That feeling of love that fills your heart.
That is truly who you are,
When you stand revealed in authenticity.

That is your soul aligned.
That is your truth.

And when you hide and run from what you deem imperfections, flaws and weakness you hide from YOU.
You hide from your strength.
Your Love.
And you stand in armour before those you love.

So go now,
Look in the mirror of self-criticism and hatred,
Smile into those beautiful eyes of yours,
Run your hands across that body in gratitude for the temple that it is and all that it allows you to experience.
Stand there and speak up your life.
Speak up your heart.
Speak up your truth,
And laugh at all those human imperfections.

You are beautiful beyond measure.

In love from my f-cking imperfect temple to yours,
Remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

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The THING You Need To Know To Call In Your Soulmate/Twinflame Relationship.

Jane Austen once said, ” When I fall in love it will be forever.”
A beautiful sentiment this statement brings to so many about love.
Romance. Intimacy and matters of the heart.
However, we often feel that we are in love when in truth we are in need and so we move from relationship to relationship looking for each soul we come in contact with to be the one, when it is an impossibility.
We “fall in love” because we are weak in whom we are and in need to feel complete, to feel loved, worthy, and needed. This falling process reveals to us that we are not whole beings, thus making anyone that we “fall in love” with not the one. We are unable to find the one until we elevate ourselves to a state of self-awareness and truth that matches our soul expression for this life experience and in order for us to unit with “the one” they too must be in pursuit of the same.
We desire to be in love.
To be elevated by love, not to fall.
Our soul understands that relationship, the true union of two souls coming together in love will not cause us to sacrifice any aspect of who our true self is, but instead it will ignite us and expand us as we unit. We get at a core level that love is based in freedom.
And our freedom is birthed through the observations that we make when we are united with another at a soul level.
When two souls unite in love they experience a bond that sets them each on fire, creating a purification process that must happen in order for the union to hold strong. This is what Jane Austen was referring to in her statement above, ” When I fall in love it will be forever,” because when two souls come together in such authentic love, they recognize each other and it is a bonding for life.
But not life as we know it.
It is the life of the soul.
This is where we speak of the term “soulmate” or “twinflame” and we simplify it into modern terms of “the one.” At our cores we are always in search of this eternal love, this union with what we feel is our other half and a soul that will complete us. The irony of it is that we must first become that that we wish to achieve through this union. In order for us to become whole we must become wise and wisdom comes from experience. We learn ourselves through others. The contrasting of relationships, the learning of our boundaries, our likes and dislikes in all areas of life and relating, what we need and what are non-negotiables. One cannot become whole in self until one understands themselves and can love the darkest aspects of self as well. Wholeness in self is created from a space of respect, responsibility, love, courage and ability to transform what is needed to advance one’s soul and life.
The most equipt learning ground for these soul transformations and union with soul is relationship.
Especially intimate relationships.
Once we unite with ourselves at a deep understanding (not a perfection) we open up the opportunity to magnetize to us a like soul that is on the same path, at the same velocity.
Frequencies match.
The souls most likely have shared much in common in this lifetime and others (if you believe in reincarnation), magnifying their bonds all the more. All other “love” relationships fall short, causing us suffering so that we can clarify whom we are and prepare ourselves for a true union with another.
To be in love with one’s soulmate is by far one of the greatest gifts we can extend to ourselves through our coming home to self, it is most certainly for a lifetime and it is not something that occurs with every relationship.
If you are among the many out there longing to discover love and wonder where Mr./Mrs. Right is…
Will you ever discover “the one?”
Why does love always hurt so bad and cause you such heartache?
Or simply why you are not finding the depth and connection that you know should be available and you have witnessed with others, then I ask you to realize one thing…
There are many that are not the one, as it should be.
There can only ever be “the one” and in order for you to achieve this soul union you must learn yourself and learn to love yourself.
This journey of love is based on your ability to be whole with whom you are and not look for anything outside of self.
Be willing and in love with the reality that you must walk away from anything that is not actually for you…
Including ALL “the ones” that are not YOUR ONE.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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*Program is focused on 8 Pillars of Love, Money and Life Happiness.
*Find out the deets for this signature elite program that is opening up for registration to an elite 15 clients on April 1st, 2021.
* You must do the prerequisite of the consult to join this game changing, life altering mentoring opportunity.
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ARE YOU GUILTY OF CHEAP TALK? IT COULD BE WHATS DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

TALK IS CHEAP! AND IT’S PERVASIVE AROUND YOU.

 

“I am here for you.”

“Let me know what I can do.”

“I got your back.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“I see what’s been happening, where you are at, what you are saying, etc.”

 

There are so many things that we tell others with little to no meaning behind them.

We speak these statements with good intent often,

but we don’t understand the value of actually following our words up with action. Sometimes the action is just more words of support, or helping one find answers, or just simply holding space for someone who is going through a rocky time in life and needs to have that space. Other times, it means that we need to follow through with supportive action to those words.

 

Recently in my life I have had an onslauth of what you could say shiz going down in my personal life.

 

I find myself standing here not thirty days into a new year amazed at everything that has occured over the last ninety days.

Some mornings I wake and find humor in the events,

realizing that you can’t make this shiz up.

Hollywood would pay a mint for the tales I could tell.

And then other days I realize that it’s just life,

my soul wanting to expand who I am and strengthen my vessel so I can become everything I desire and live that unbound beautiful life I know is mine.

 

And then there are the days that I wake in total frustration.

Anger.

Fear.

Judgement.

Bitterness.

Anxiety.

Exhaustion.

 

And I wonder why me?

Why now?

How much more does God think I can carry?

And WHY do the people in my life not see it? hear it? Why do they just keep wanting more from me in the face of everything else?

 

No matter how I wake,

what I have been blessed to witness is a reality check in my relationships. Revelations on no matter who we are, we are all human at the end of the day and our humanness when overtaken by our ego is extremely superficial and self-centered, even when we attempt to support and give love.

 

We blind ourselves and ignore others’ needs and desires, even though we can see what is happening in their lives and how at the end of a string they may be. How close to crashing they truly are.

 

And we do this NOT because we don’t care or cannot understand,

but because we want what we want for ourselves.

 

So we act as though we did not see.

We claim they did not communicate clearly.

We say they never told us.

We spout back, “Well I tried but you would not connect, answer, etc.”

 

YOU WERE NOT CLEAR ON WHAT YOU NEEDED FROM ME.

 

We push back the blame to the other.

Not wanting to see ourselves and how in these times we disregarded what was right before us with our loved one for the sake of our own self-centered needs and wants.

 

If we were to get real with our words,

and to honor them and have the self-respect and respect of the other parties as well, we would stand behind our word.

 

UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR WORD IS EVERYTHING.

 

This is not just some old school statement that our word makes up our character.

It’s not just a line from Scarface or the Godfather,

John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are not the ones proclaiming the strength of a human is in his words.

No.

But I tell you that our word is all of this.

Our word is OUR CHARACTER CHECK POINT.

Our word is our STRENGTH.

or our weakness.

 

And when we say that, “I got your back.”

 

It should not be a light matter.

These words should come with an understanding that in them we are denying the self for another.

 

That we are willing to sacrifice our short term desires, needs or wants to fully support someone else and to stay aware of what is happening with them and in their lives.

 

Unfortunately, the majority of the time this is not what will occur.

The reverse is actually true.

We will state that we are supportive,

and then we will take the opportunity to bulldoze over our loved one to get our needs met instead, all the while pretending to be blind to it all. Pretending that if they had just spoken up, made it more clear, done their part that the boundaries would not have ever been crossed.

 

OUR WORDS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Meaning that with them we take responsibility for who we are and our actions and reactions.

 

Responsibility to being consciously aware of situations, people and what is truly needed despite our self-centered desires to get our own needs and wants met.

 

THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT.

Anything else is empty.

 

Making our words,

our actions,

and us as a human weak and untrustworthy.

 

What do your words say about your character in a relationship?

In life?

 

Want to have deep, committed, trusting and loving relationships in all areas of your life?

 

Then it’s time to stand behind your words,

and realize they are your strength or your weakness.

Your words are your bond.

Without them you have nothing.

 

 

As Always.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn the secrets of a dynamic powerhouse relationship?

Overcome the drama circles and superficial ego based relating game that you are so used to? Reach out to me today for 1:1 opportunities in mentorship now. Limited space.

 

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COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOP- ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO. ARE YOU?

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE – ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO.
When does it become acceptable for an individual whom may be a supposed friend, association or other to try to weasel thier way into a couples relationship to cause disconnection, disruption, or disharmony? All the while thier intent being to create an opportunity to be with one of the individuals.
This disrespect of the couple hood and the individuals can take the form of:
–> Sexual offers
–>Inappropriate suggestions, offers or touch
–>Under the guise of a shoulder to cry on –>Support that was not asked for
–>Disparaging comments about one of the individuals
–>Statements of desire or “love”
–> Consistency and persistence in advances
All with the intent to undermine the relationship.
Some of this overt.
Some covert.
Making them the most dangerous.
Acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing in hopes to lure the partner that holds ones attention slowly and discreetly over the course of time into one’s arms.
Believing that the coveted relationship can provide the same dynamics and connection even when one of the partners is no longer in play.
COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
The reality is that we humans covet many things.
Relationship is highly sought after.
It is our human desire and need to be connected to another. The bonding that we experience in intimate relationship is elevating and fulfilling unlike anything else. So when we see another experiencing the depth, connection and love that we may not be experiencing ourselves it leaves us hungry and aware of what is lacking in our own lives.
This is the birth place of envy and jealousy.
It is also how such disruptive and unsought for attention and advances come from.
You may not be able to control your feelings or desires for someone, however you most certainly can and IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE or even mildly give a shit for this person, then can respect them and control your feelings and desires.
Not being able to administer the needed control around taking action or expressing the feelings reveals an even deeper issue at hand.
That being one of little self-respect or honor to soul.
Instead of elevating self,
You find yourself trying to destroy the beauty in anothers life. When you could be asking yourself how you too could develop and call a relationship that others are envious of into your own life picture.
Becoming consciously aware of those seemingly “little” or “harmless” statements and actions that one may be guilty of serves not only in the best interest of the coveted couplehood but also for the individual whom is coveting, as the awareness and taking responsibility of said actions develops ones character and thus elevates thier vibration increasing thier potential to call in the ideal relationship for thier soul experience.
So I ask you today dear reader,
First are these tactics ever okay? And secondly,
does anothers relationship, connection, or love bring you fear, jealousy or envy? Where might you consciously or subconsciously be guilty of these detrimental self-centered actions and desires and not be realizing your truth?
Level Up Your Love Life Today.
By elevating who you are and knowing your truth.
Loving You From Here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want to manifest a relationship that makes other envious? Call in your soulmate and live elevated in love? Reach out for information on my LIMITED 1:1 and group coaching opportunities for 2021 now.
Make 2021 your Soulmate Year!
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The Secret Power Of Your Sex.

SWIRLING.

LOST IN EMOTION.

Bodies engaged,

sweat rolling between.

Gasping for air.

 

Release,

deep within, my cervix shakes,

my pelvic floor quivers,

my chest cracks,

my g-spot ignites,

and I sigh.

 

Ahhhhh…

 

It’s been hours of rolling in these sheets.

My muscles are like jello from all the orgasms,

the energy spasms and the release.

 

My legs are shaking and I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

It is hard to focus my vision,

the ceiling light is spinning as I lay there,

breathing in the intoxicating vibrations of this moment.

 

I AM DRUNK.

I am vulnerable.

I am raw.

I am open.

I feel so very alive and yet transcended into nothing.

 

Tears are streaming from my face.

My lover kisses and bites my neck,

grabs my hair at the base of my scalp and pulls me down onto him,

not just entering me but penetrating me.

Penetrating me to the core of my being,

as though he is witnessing my soul from within my very body.

 

My body quivers and shakes,

I have lost all reason,

I am without care,

Full abandon.

 

And here,

here in this space of true bliss,

here in this place that has not been visited to these levels of depth for sometime,

I CAN SURRENDER.

 

Letting go of the fear,

the worry and the thought.

Letting go of my conditions,

of terms and agreements,

letting go of the physical and just floating in the abyss of nothing yet everything,

and discovering myself yet again.

 

Here I am .

Here he is.

And together we get lost.

We expand and we explore.

 

From this land anything is possible.

All can be desired and achieved.

This is the land of alchemy,

the place of magick.

 

Sex Magick.

 

Calling down the blessings from source,

realizing them into here and now.

As I open fully to the deep rowling thunders of each orgasmic wave,

my spirit aligns and I allow.

I allow all to manifest that I have craved for,

longed for,

and I open my life to receiving it.

My body is awakened,

ignited and ready.

 

With each sip of air I call out to the universe my desires,

as my lover tousles me around,

pressing firmly inside of me,

pumping my g-spot in rhythmic cycles of ecstasy,

the juices roll from my lips and I pull his hand in further and further.

Fully engulfed inside my cavern,

his subtle moves of hand carry me deeper and deeper,

the pressure is building,

my body becomes tense.

And I see it.

 

I SEE IT ALL.

I feel the filling of my cup,

as it overflows with abundance,

with love and health,

as my life is changed,

altered for the better.

 

The shaking of my flesh subsides,

my breath deepens,

my muscles relax.

And I feel him again,

swirling,

teasing,

licking.

 

Intensifying my energy,

and I melt.

 

Dancing with my soul in this expression of truth.

Feeling an ignited calm,

a peace and hunger.

 

I know that this moment….

Like so many from my past is transformational.

Awakening.

And powerful.

 

And I am ready.

 

Take me.

Let me surrender into you and become nothing and everything.

 

Yes this is the power of our orgasm.

This is the importance of our sex.

This has been hidden from you for centuries,

known by few.

 

And it is truth.

It is my truth as it is yours as well,

you can channel your energy and focus it on your desired life.

Manifestation at its finest.

 

But first,

First you must learn its secrets.

 

Do you dare?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Happening this Saturday Sept. 12th, 2020 Tantric Sex Magick.

Where you can learn the mysteries and truth behind this sought after knowledge.

 

Can’t make that?

 

It’s okay.

 

Reach out to me to explore Tantric Coaching today to learn this and more.

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Men Who Can’t Lead and Women Who Can’t Submit

GIVE ME YOUR POWER.
I AM THE MAN AND WHAT I SAY GOES.
 
Another laughable topic of today’s time.
The man who acts like this and believes that he is worthy of respect,
worthy of being followed is a MOFO FOOL.
 
I was speaking with a couple of my female clients over the last few weeks about this topic.
 
The topic of LETTING YOUR MAN LEAD,
and actually SUBMITTING ( following) his lead.
 
It’s hard in today’s time to follow our men,
am I right ladies?
 
Multiple things are at play.
 
First being that we woman have been scorned and hurt so much,
our trust has been breached so damn much that we just are no longer willing to keep opening up our hearts and lives to men who do not have our own best interest in mind.
 
And we simply have come to terms with the fact that we are strong AF and don’t really need a man.
 
ESPECIALLY, if he is just going to use us and toss away or lie to us.
 
For us women, we know we can get the sex we may want pretty easily, granted we get that it won’t be as deep or intimate as we may hunger for,
but it still can be damn good and 80% of our sexual needs met.
And when we are in control of it, then we can get it with limited to no emotional damage.
As for needing a man for money…
yeah well #1, most women today pride themselves in making good money and not needing a man to take care of them that way, we don’t want to owe any man anything so that he can hold it over our head and demand from us what we don’t trust to give or feel like giving.
#2, those who do choose to let men finance them typically have figured out how to be the puppeteers of the men by using sex to get what they want and they have no respect or loyalty to the dude, they just look at it as though its commerce and the guy is damn lucky to be getting it at whatever cost it is.
#3, those who are “in a committed relationship and with kids,” well they bounce between heart and fear of messing up their babies lives with a separation so plot for empty nest times and just put their heads down and wait.
 
The second biggest reason we women can’t submit to men of today is that men don’t have a clue what leadership is in relationship.
 
I tell men all the time that they need to led and they respond back with,
 
” I try but she won’t let me.”
” I don’t know how to do that.”
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
The first statement here is two sided,
men you need to be a man that is worthy of be followed first. That means you need to know yourself,
trust yourself,
be capable of making decisions,
and make consistently good choices.
It means that you need to be a man of your word.
It means that you need to be compassionate and understanding.
It means that you need to take responsibility for your wrongs.
It means that you need to KNOW that you are not always right and that’s okay.
It means that you need to have PURPOSE outside of your woman, money, playtime or even work. ( What is your life mission statement men?)
 
But ladies,
we have to learn how to soften ourselves and offer our men an opportunity to do all these things too. We can’t run around shooting them in the knee over everything and getting pissed that they are trying.
 
We have to open up our hearts just a bit and give them an opportunity to touch them with their desire, love and ideas.
 
We have to drop the tough cookie roles and lean in and let our men practice being a gentlemen.
 
We have to allow and even ask for our needs to be met.
We have to stop telling men what we think they should hear and instead speak our integrity to them, tell them the truth, but tell them in compassion.
 
Ladies we have to WANT to attract a better quality man into our lives and know we are worthy of it.
 
The second statement above,
well guys re-read what I just wrote there!
 
Got it?
Got it?
 
I sure AF hope so.
 
And now the third statement above.
 
“I do lead, I am the man and she knows it.”
 
This is NOT leadership.
This is control.
This will not gain you respect, loyalty or love.
And a strong, confident, intelligent woman will NEVER desire this sort of man.
 
We don’t want to babysit our men.
We don’t want to raise you, that was your mama’s job.
But we sure AF don’t want to be owned by you either.
 
This sort of attitude just show’s how damn insecure you are.
How much you NEED someone else to bow before you to make you feel worthy, strong, powerful.
 
This is not real leadership or even real power.
 
This is weakness and ego.
And the women of today can smell this shiz a mile away.
 
The issue with today’s relationships….
with today’s men and women…
 
Is simple.
 
Men have not properly been taught how to be respectful,
men have not been taught how to know their own worth,
they have not been taught how to love, self or other.
Men have no clue what leadership is.
Men have no idea about life purpose.
And most of you men out there DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Lost sheep in a big world where you were never initiated into your man-hood.
 
Instead were told to take, to belittle, to guilt, to retract your love, to be in ego, to play games and that women were not to be trusted.
 
The masculine is lost.
But so is the feminine.
 
Ladies, its time for us to love our men who are trying.
Show appreciation for the men who work at being gentlemen.
Don’t fight them,
but instead support them.
Don’t instantly jump to the conclusion that all men are trying to hurt us, use us or want something from us.
Ladies, receive the compliment with a THANK YOU.
Let him hold your door open.
Ask a man for help in putting a case of water in your grocery store cart.
Smile at a random stranger.
 
By us women knowing our worth and loving ourselves,
by us women speaking our truth in compassion instead of a power struggle,
we will teach the men.
 
And men GROW THE F-ck UP!
And stop making excuses.
Figure out WHO YOU ARE.
 
Every woman LOVES and DESIRES a man on fire,
who has purpose, confidence and passion for his life and KNOWS himself.
 
This is a man who can LEAD the strongest of women.
 
As Always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to level up your relationship and learn how to be a leader as a man? Message me for deet’s on my global private coaching today.
 
Today’s musing inspired by
 
Michael Baisden Live
Posted on

WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Posted on

Are Your Relationship Idea’s Making You A Prostitute?

Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!

I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.

I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.

If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….

And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.

Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.

We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.

How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.

Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.

I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.

And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.

It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”

That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.

So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”

Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.

Or is it?

Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.

In such relationships, people:

* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for

Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:

* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth

Sounds exciting huh?

Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.

Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.

At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.

A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.

A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.

The most important one being COMMUNICATION.

Because communication,
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.

This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.

But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.

Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.

How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?

Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.

Posted on

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

[jwplayer mediaid=”10519″]

STOP BEING A YES WHORE.

Wow! Kendal that is a harsh statement for a Friday morning.

What do you mean by, “Yes Whore?”

You are guilty beautiful of doing just this.
I am guilty too.
There is not a soul on this planet that has not fallen into the illusion of being a yes whore and believing that it is the road to our happiness.

Every time you say YES to someone and you actually mean NO, you are in an essence whoring yourself out and dishonoring self and the relationship that you are YESSING all over.

Every time that inauthentic YES pops out of your mouth and you find yourself swallowing your own needs, desires, ideas, and value because you feel that you “should” do this or that to be a nice person, to be helpful, to offer support, to show you love, etc. etc.

You sabotage yourself!
You sabotage the relationship.
And you loose respect.

I have been in the business of relationship coaching in one facet or another for two decades now and the one thing that I hear repeatedly is, ” I can’t say no, that would be mean.”

“He is my husband… I love him, I can’t say no.”
“She is so sweet and working so hard, she needs this/needs me… I can’t say no.”
“They are really struggling right now, I can’t say no.”
“They need me.”
“I don’t know how I am going to do it but I can’t say no.”

And following these wonderful words of what seem’s like love and support come…

” I am so exhausted, I just don’t have anything left to give, why can’t they/he/she see that?”

“I just feel like a all people ever want me for is ___________________.”

“You know, I have had it… I have been busting myself open here, doing everything I can, to show how much I care and I ask for one small thing and get told no after everything that I have done.”

“Doesn’t he/she see that I really don’t want to do that/feel like it?

“I would be all alone if I said what I really want or need.”

These and so many other things in so many subjects of our lives.

Just think about all the moments that you actually wanted to respond with NO but opted to say yes because you did not want to hurt the relationship, the other persons feelings or damage your value in the relationship.

Think of all those moments that if you get real with yourself you answered YES because you were answering out of fear and/or lack of self-worth.

Well you see beautiful,
these are the times that you were whoring yourself out.

There is no honor or respect in being out of integrity and not being honest with your answer.

You answered YES in exchange for something that you wanted or needed. You put little value on what is so precious and worth so much in hopes that you could,
if but only for a short time,
buy someones love, time, appreciation,
so that you would feel good.

But the funny thing is,
much like a whore who is just selling off their sex and not looking for anything real, lasting or of value,
you find yourself having to consistently whore yourself out to the point of being used up just to get a taste of what you are actually wanting.
And much like the client of the whore who is trying to fill a void and is just buying the illusion of the intimacy and connection,
you are finding yourself feeling used, abused and alone.

The relationships that you are doing this with are the relationships that you need to GET REAL with yourself on.

If you want to experience true happiness.
If you want to be respected.
If you want to have that soulmate relationship based in love,
if you want to feel supported, safe, understood,
If you want to stop questioning yourself and the relationships that you have,
and just BE YOU-
and THRIVE.

if you want that F-ck YES! Life…

Well is starts by you STOPPING YOURSELF FROM BEING A YES WHORE.

The ONLY person you need to answer YES to ALWAYS….

Is YOU.

And you see, if you answer yes to you 100% of the time,
you will find that you will be living authentically and in integrity.
And guess what that means beautiful?

It means you will gain trust, respect, real love and support.
It means that you will NOT ALWAYS make someone else happy,
that you will respect and love yourself enough to know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional response, mental thoughts or even physical actions.
It means that you will no longer be enabling another’s victim mindset in their unconscious maneuver to control you and feel loved themselves.

It means that you will be one step closer to manifesting the life that you are worthy of.

So Stop Being a YES WHORE and Release Yourself from That Which Binds You.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Been thinking about your happiness and success?
Wanting to SAY YES! To Yourself?
Let’s Make it happen beautiful in work, love and life.
Accepting 1:1 applications to work with me for a limited time.