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THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know more about living an abundant life?

Want to know the secrets to overcoming these little obstacles that can turn into mountains if left in the corners of our minds and rustling around in our energy? Reach out to me about my Asskickery Month of Private 1:1 Global Coaching now, where I will share with you how to overcome and have success in one subject area of your life in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

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My Mom’s 85th Birthday Lesson To Me & To You

Today is a rough day for me.
I am going to get very human with you dear follower and let my heart be heard here,
Yesterday was mother’s day and I hope that if you are a mother or a woman who cares for others in a nurturing fashion that you allowed yourself a moment at very least to be supported and loved on some,
if not by others,
by yourself.
Because you deserve it.
You deserve it not because Hallmark or society has said that on this day you should be recognized and loved,
but because you are a human being with feelings,
with a heart and desires,
you work your mind and body to support and love on others,
some you may have birthed yourself physically,
others you held space for them in times when they needed held and loved,
allowing them to birth themselves through a difficult challenge,
others you guided and helped point out a new path too,
while others you simply just stood still and let them share.
You deserve to give yourself a moment to breathe,
because all of the mothering that you have been doing has helped make our world a better place,
the souls that you have touched you may never know,
because the ripple that your love has had is great and unseen to your current vantage point.
But you have touched more than you know.
The children that you are raising and have raised,
the children that have crossed through your life as friends of your own babies,
they have been impacted.
Your babies are our future.
And look at them.
You are the mother.
You are the one holding it together so they can learn how to swim.
You do not have to have actually birthed a child to be a mother,
motherhood is something that comes from our hearts,
It is an energy of unconditional love and desire to witness something beautiful awaken in our world.
It is a strength that only a mother can understand,
to stand and witness her child,
the one she cares so deeply for and would sacrifice everything for,
to open their wings and fly.
It is a smile that no one sees,
when you feel proud of that, that you have nurtured.
As many of you are aware,
I am the mother to seven, yes seven children, all that I birthed myself, ranging from 24 years down to 5 years.
These souls that God has blessed me to lead,
blessed me to nurture and raise,
to witness as they grow and become who they are,
are my why for everything that I do.
They are my why to lead,
to constantly get in touch with myself and know who I am and let them see me.
They are my why to show that you can thrive in life and still have deep connection, love and family.
They are my why to reveal that life is for the living not the existing,
that freedom starts in your own head and heart,
that doing what’s right may not always appear to be right to others and may go against the grain of society,
that we are all creators.
No matter our sex, we are manifestors of our lives,
they are my why to constantly focus on my energy,
and lead them to put themselves first and speak from their truth.
And yes I am a proud mama.
Because I have seven very unique children,
confident, focused, true to themselves children.
I see the ripple.
What makes today a tough day though,
is that my own mother, who’s birthday is today is turning 85.
And I am not with her.
You see my mama has dementia and she was moved to a home a distance away from me where I have not been able to see her for some time,
then COVID happened and you cannot visit the elderly.
My mom was already losing who I was a couple years ago,
she was thinking I was her sister and she was falling back into memories of Natzi Germany and concentration camps that they went through,
it became more and more difficult to see her in this state,
my heart would crack to witness her,
and I was struggling. So I had to come to terms with the reality that my mom was passing before my eyes while still “existing physically here.” I had to let her go.
And then I started to notice that she was getting more and more lost in her story lines, she at one point had me getting killed by the Mexican Mafia and told me a horrific tale,
so now, here on the day of her birthday I sit wishing that I could go hug her, tell her,
“Mom, I am doing good, your grandchildren are doing good, your great grandchildren are growing strong and happy, we are all good. We love you.”
But I cannot.
Mainly because of COVID,
but secondly the terror it would cause her to see her daughter resurrected from the dead,
followed with a brief moment of realization that she is not right in the head and that she is losing herself.
To witness her realizing that she cannot recall her life,
her loved ones, her memories or even be present in her current moment is a deep pain to bare,
to hold space for.
And now with COVID I am unsure if I will ever see her again.
And I have guilt and shame around this topic in my life.
I feel bad as though I am a horrible daughter for what appears walking away, staying away,
Letting her go.
Today I mourn my mom.
Today I let her go a bit more.
Today I say goodbye again.
It’s not a happy birthday but a good bye.
And my heart hurts at typing it.
My heart hurts at sharing this little reality with you dear one.
And so it is that all things come to pass.
All things must be let go,
and the lesson that I feel pressed on me,
is to not let your life go until it is time,
to stop existing and making excuses,
living in fear.
Because your days are not promised on this earth,
your memories can be lost while your body still remains.
There is much we must get right with letting go of,
but the moment of NOW is not one of them.
 
Love Now.
Live Now.
Stop Making Excuses.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Lets get you living now! What are you waiting for?
1:1 coaching available globally.
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Let Your Metamorphosis Happen.

Are you scared of the permancy?
I know that I sure am in area’s of my life.
Let’s look at this topic of permancy.
You may be most familiar with it in the area’s of death and marriage.
 
Both seem so certain not to change.
One we enter into with the hope that it is a guarantee,
a commitment.
The other we fear happening because we “know” it is a guarantee.
 
And both feel like an ending point to most.
But many also feel like both or at least one is also a gateway to something new.
 
In truth,
both are gateways to something new.
A new existance.
Something that we cannot understand,
that we are uncertain about.
 
Both require faith.
Both require us to let go of our ego’s and to lean into the unknown.
 
And another reality is that we have permancy happening all around us,
all the time.
 
We also have this thing called death all around us, all the time.
 
We have many little deaths occure throughout our life times,
and they are requirements in order for us to expand and grow.
In order for us to become authentically US,
and stand in our power,
we MUST expereince lot’s of little deaths throughout our lifetime.
 
Your power is birthed in the running toward these deaths and the acceptance of them.
 
Instead of fearing the transition points of our life,
open yourself to them.
Allow yourself to get caught up in the current of them and enjoy the process of them.
Though some may be painful,
realize that the pain and the suffering that you are expereincing is not of the soul or even the heart.
It is of the ego and the constraights based in a concept of fear and control that is causing you the pain and suffering.
 
The SOUL knows your path.
The SOUL knows your truth.
The SOUL has no doubt.
The SOUL is not in pain.
 
But when we expereince pain and suffering,
when we fear the unknown,
when we fear the transition points and get caught up on the idea of permancy and it being some end point,
we are buying into the mirages of our ego.
 
This life you are living is far more than blood pumping through your veins,
or your lungs taking in oxygene,
or the thoughts that you say your brain or mind create.
It is far more than these limbs that you use,
or this body that you expereince.
This life,
is God moving through you.
And the permancy of this life is just that.
 
MOVEMENT.
CHANGE.
BIRTH.
BIRTH.
and more BIRTHING.
 
This process is of you brithing yourself,
you experiencing YOU,
experiencing your divine being at multiple levels of awakening.
And with each awakening you must let go of the old paradigm’s of self and understanding and you must allow for what you once percieved as YOU,
to become a carcass to be disposed of.
 
What you perceive as YOU,
is not really YOU.
 
YOU ARE MORE.
 
So much more.
And when you lean into this awareness of how bountiful and big you really are,
the fear of death is no more.
 
Instead you see it for it’s truth.
It is a birthing of your SOUL.
 
We expereince death in our relationships,
in our ways of being, relating, thinking, judging.
We expereince death of our goals, dreams, desires and beliefs.
We expereince death in actual physical states with loved ones and self.
 
And often we get caught up on these deaths.
We linger in the morning of them.
We weap and agonize ourselves about what has been lost.
We get trapped in our remorse,
in not speaking what we had wanted,
in not getting closure like we wanted.
We torment ourselves with death and its permancy of things not being the same any more.
 
We desiree to control what is not for us to control,
but instead for us to breathe into and feel life in.
This corridor of death,
is just that,
a transtioning space.
A door.
A gate.
 
Each transition point brings with it an exposure to newness,
to deeper understanding and expansion.
 
If we choose to view death as though it is birth,
the sadness is limited and potentially no more.
Not saying that one will not expereince morning,
as anytime we go through transition,
we mourn.
Mourning is natural and healthy.
But know that if you find yourself getting caught in the mourning,
that this is not of SOUL.
It is your ego at work.
Holding you in an old paradigm,
an old frequency,
and not allowing you to metamorphosis.
 
This is where the work then lyes.
To go deep into self and discover where you can unhinge your cages of the old and set yourself free.
 
You cannot avoid death.
You cannot avoid all the mini deaths within this human expereince that you will have,
they are hear to set you free and bring you closer to your soul aligned path.
 
But what you can do,
is stop allowing yourelf to just fade through this life.
You can realize that life is a choice.
Just because you are breathing,
with blood pumping through your veins and thoughts bouncing through your mind,
DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE LIVING.
 
Living is a choice and with that living comes the movement and gateways of death.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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Birth Control, Turn On, Surrender and The Truth on Female Sex

He asked if I would get on birth control for him.

We were really clicking.
The conversations,
the touch,
his kiss.
OMFG! it was hot and I wanted him so badly.
I wanted to move forward and I wanted to explore the sex.
But I did not want any more children.
I had five children already and I was not interested in having any more at this point,
especially not risking it this early in the game of a new relationship.
Plus, even though something inside of me truly trusted that this man was clean,
I knew that you just never know,
and disease is a serious thing.

Weeks went by and the desire for each other grew as the days passed. Finally I decided that I trusted him enough to go bare with him in sex and that I “should” just make sure that no babies came from this,
so I went and got myself on the pill.

I had not been on birth control for the last 5 plus years, my system was clear of anything of the sort and I was feeling good. I felt emotionally stable after having one of the lowest points in my life in a deep dive into depression prior to getting off of birth control. My body was strong and I felt great in my skin. My health was awesome.

What could go wrong?

I wanted this man.
I wanted this sex,
this expereince.
The intimacy of bare sex.

And so why not make sure to guard us against the one thing that I knew we did not want.

A child.

I got on the pill.
Everything seemed normal enough for a few months.
No big red flags waving.
My moods were normal, nothing too rocky.
No weight gain or fatigue.

But then I crossed over the 90 day mark.
Then I felt weepy.
Sad.
Depression was setting in again.
Weight started to slowly come on,
just a few poundss but I noticed it.
And my desire for sex,
the reason I had decided to start taking birth control again anyway,
yeah the desire for it was dwindling.
I was feeling each day more lost in who I was.
I felt the mask I had worked so hard at letting go of,
being picked back up again.
Now instead of laughing authentically and enjoying my life,
I found myself working ever so hard just to maintain composture and not get mad or cry for no reason.

My emotions were out of control.
I felt like I had time lapsed back a decade and I could not figure out what was happening or why.
Never did I think it was the birth control.

Months went by.
My sex dried up.
I was no longer the woman that he met,
and I also found myself to not be attracted to him any longer.
It was like we were completely different people,
and I for one was for sure.

The once beautiful possibility of a lovely relationship came to an end and I found myself bouncing around with a few other quick flings,
searching for the woman that I had lost somewhere along the line and wondereing why I was attracting these men that I really did not care for but seemed drawn too.

And then,
then I stoped taking the birth control.
I committed to my health and well being and I decided that if I were involved with someone sexually that I could just use a condom and not rely on this hormone imbalancer.
Not long there after I went in for my pap-smear and was told of cells on my cervix that were irregular.
The doctor let me know her concern of what this could mean.
I did some deep detoxing and investigating on what I could do to naturally irradicate these irregular cells.
I discovered that there was ton’s of studies done on birth control and the links to different types of cancer and cell mutation.

In my research I found out that it took up to 2-years to clear your system of birth control. To my plesent surprise I I was blessed with a clean bill of health again after crossing over the two year mark from taking the pill.
PLUS, guess who was back in her own flesh.
Emotionally stable again.
Focused.
Healthy weight.
And turned on,
plus able to have good orgasms again.
Yes! I was back.

And for the first time in my adult years I had fully digested the connection between how delicate my hormones were and how easily they could be set off,
causing massive issues from depression and lack of desire, to actual cancer.

PLUS, I discovered the science showing how birth control can and does change who we are attacked too. Explaining why so often we find ourselves with someone that we typically would not be attracted too without the extra hormones in our system.

And my question came,
“Why would a man who loves a woman ever desire to put her into this situation just so he did not have to wear a condom?”

“Why woudl a woman take this sort of risk with her health?”

“Why would we willingly put something in our bodies that could change who we are attacted too and expect it not to make that big of a difference in our relationship success?”

and finally….

“Why is this never spoken of? Not made public knowledge when the facts are out there and not that hard to discover?”

The answer is simple,
We just don’t know.
We have not been informed.
And we have been focused on population not on health.
An educated person will gaurd against having unwanted children and at the same time will want what is best for their own health and well being as well as their partners, as well as wanting to be attracted to people that are a match for them verses the opposite.

But the education is not there.
And the desiree to inquire,
to seek out the truth is spoken of often but hardly ever followed.

Today I ask you to STOP the insanity of living blind in your sex and relationships and to actually inquire, witness and do your work or learning yourself, and knowing what is good for you as well as those you merge with.

This is maturity.

As Always Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers’

Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching and education today.

 

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WHY I DO SEX DAILY.

WHY I DO SEX DAILY….
 
I have sex almost daily.
It’s just my THING.
I do sex daily yes because I love sex,
but more so for what sex gives me.
And I am not referring to the mind blowing orgasms that only happen here and there.
 
Okay so it’s truth time folks,
yes ME,
the sex expert and coach that helps thousands of people have better and more sex DOES NOT have mind blowing, earth shaking orgasm daily.
Actually most days, its pretty meh…
The sex is just normal,
and even boring at times.
But I still do sex almost daily,
and some days if the opportunity presents itself two or three times.
 
Just a week ago I spent about 7 hours out of 24 having sex.
Now that was yummy.
But why was it yummy?
Why did I want to have 7 hours of sex?
or have it daily, especially if I am not having mind blowing sex or even an orgasm most of the time?
 
The simple truth is that SEX ignites my creative juices.
Sex allows me a medative state, no matter the outcome to work on embodying myself,
sex allows me practice time to get out of my head and FEEL myself at a deep level.
I get to practice letting go,
I get to practice vulnerability,
I get to practice surrender,
I get to see where I am challenged and through the rhythm of my sex,
the consistent allowance of letting myself feel and stepping away from the idea of cumming,
but just BEING instead,
I get to connect to my CORE and thus feel my partner at a deeper level.
 
I have discovered through the years,
that our SEX is linked to so many things.
Self-confidence,
self-love,
boundaries,
ability to receive and give,
thinking patterns,
fear,
DESIRE,
passion,
VITALITY,
a feeling of freedom,
a feeling of peace,
centeredness,
physical well-being,
mental well-being,
and expanded spiritual depth.
 
To just name a few.
Yet we are taught to shame our sex,
to hide from it,
to ignore it,
to STARVE IT.
We are taught that our sex is evil.
And that it should only be used to make babies, or relieve stress QUICKLY.
 
And this way of thinking about our sex,
has us shut down,
fearful,
and not having sex.
It has us feeling disconnected from life, ourselves and the people we love.
It has us feeling insecure and angry,
depressed and lost.
And it has us trying to achieve what we have a void in through any means possible.
It has us acting out and traumatizing ourselves and others.
 
Instead of loving ourselves,
being responsible,
compassionate,
mature people,
we are like caged, starving, beaten wild animals.
This is what our world has become when we DO SEX.
And it’s all because we have such a limited, repressed view and understanding of this beautiful gift from God.
 
Sex and finances are the top two reasons marriages break up.
Sex actually out weights money,
because when the sex is crap,
when the sex is disconnected and toxic,
when sex is just about the get off,
then you have a partner being used and abused.
You have trauma setting in and the relationship is TOXIC.
No amount of money can heal that.
That is all about embodiment.
That is all about connection.
 
And you can ONLY CONNECT to your partner if you know how to connect to yourself first.
 
THAT IS WHY I DO SEX DAILY.
 
The consistent practice of leaning more into ME.
 
How does your sex feel to you?
Connected and deep?
Expansive and full?
or shallow, empty and about the release?
 
Want to learn how you have beautiful sexing all the time and access these states of peace, joy and connection.
Enjoy intimacy no matter what is going on in your life?
Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 coaching available globally today.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS – FROM A MOTHERS HEART- WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

MY INTIMACY SHARE ON CURRENT FAMILY LIFE BLESSINGS- FROM A MOTHERS HEART – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

Feeling in love this morning as I get ready for the day and the next two weeks of adventure. I am in gratitude for the lessons and experiences of my past,

as without them I would not appreciate that which is with me today in my relationships, lifestyle, and being. It is so obvious to me how easy it is to take things for granted until we are faced with the not having them and sometimes we have to go through great suffering to appreciate that which our heart desires.

The simple little things mean so much.
It’s the smile from your child when they see you walk in the door.
It’s the warm embrace from your partner for no reason.
It’s the kind acts of service, no matter how small that show such care.
It’s the time taken for a conversation without attention to some device.
It’s the snuggling before bed or the good morning kiss.

When Levi makes me breakfast unexpectedly my heart smiles and I feel so blessed.

Every day when Zach chooses to stop in and chat with me before going home, I feel blessed.

When Sam comes and shares her awe over Dameion’s newest milestones or just sits and has a beautiful deep conversation with me about women-hood, I feel blessed.

When Rebekah comes in and shares her latest mommy experience or challenge, or when she just walks up to me and gives me a big hug and say, “I love you., ” I feel blessed.

When Jules asks to go out with me for whatever reason but I can tell she actually needs to just have a moment with mom to share something happening and is uncertain how else to ask for it, I feel blessed.

When Zak Miller, rounds the corner in my house and walks over to me and gives me a big hug before anything else or sits and talks from his beautiful heart, I feel blessed.

When Eniqueo and I tease each other and we laugh, or we compete in love over a good game of darts, I feel blessed.

When Gabe, wakes up in the morning and snuggles next to me and says, “I want you to be my snuggle buddy.” or rushes to help me do something without being asked, I feel blessed.

When Rowan grabs me and hugs so tight I can barely breathe and claims me all for himself, ” My mommy!” or takes my hand and asks me to read him a story and snuggle, I feel blessed.

When Kia, Andrew and J storm in my home and run to me with smiles and big hugs, I feel blessed.

When Dameion looks with his big eye’s up at me while I am feeding him his bottle and smiles while slurping back his milk, I feel blessed.

When Steve stops everything he is doing because he noticed that something was not right with me without me saying anything and gives me a hug or when he does all the little things that are actually big things to take things off my table, I feel blessed.

When I catch that mental snapshot of a moment that is awe inspiring of my family connecting and loving, laughing and being them, I feel blessed.

My life is so crazy busy.
My life has so many beautiful souls,
these that I shared a fragment of what I am blessed by and so many other dear friends and sister/brother souls who just light up my world with them just being in it and choosing to share pieces of their life with me.

It is mornings like this morning,
that I am reminded that life has not always been like this.
Life has always been full,
and there is always drama.
But not that very long ago,
my children wanted to be around me but the energy in our home was not supportive.
The laughter and joy,
the deep connective moments,
the conversations,
the family enviroment,
the thought to another,
the connection between myself and my partner,
the love that I so badly wanted to feel,
it was not there.

It was vacant.
And my heart hurt because of it.
My children suffered for the lack of it.
And my lesson is to never settle for so little of such a valuable thing again.

One of the biggest blessing that our lives can have is the blessing of connection.

The blessing that people,
the people that we cherish want to be with us,
JUST BECAUSE.

From my blessed mama heart to yours,
appreciate your blessings and put your focus on them.
They are what make life so beautiful.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Life, Death and Authentically Being You.

Life, Death and Being Authentically YOU.
 
The last two weeks of my life have been a roller coaster of life changes. Some have a direct impact on my world, some not so much but do because they effect my children or my extended family.
 
Two weeks ago my eldest daughter gave birth to her little boy.
 
Last week, my youngest two son’s grandfather passed away.
 
And today,
Today I sit and desire nothing more than to just continue being authentically me.
 
I look at the changes, the life, the death and I know it is all beautiful. But there is this sense that I get that I am expected to be more emotional about things then what I really am. As though I am not putting on a grand enough show for my world.
 
Silly as that may sound, it does come in to me from outside sources and these little obnoxious voices that sound off in my head here and there that want me to focus on things that really have no significant impact on my life joy or happiness or fear for that matter.
 
Since the birth of my grandson two weeks ago I have been hit with the question, ” How does it feel to be old enough to be a grandma?”
 
And “Wow! Top of the totem pole. Enjoy him while you have the energy.”
 
It is like because I am a grandmother now,
even though there is the blessing of this sweet baby in my life that society believes that life is all down hill when this milestone happens. That you are almost around the corner from the grave.
 
And then,
last week my kids grandfather passes away unexpectedly from heart failure.
 
The thing society worries about.
DEATH.
Croaking.
 
And as a grandparent one must add this fear to the daily worry list I assume….
 
I think NOT!
 
But if we did not fear death enough as it is,
such events as a birth and then a death can bounce it around a tad more than normal.
 
It is my opinion that the reason we fear death so much is because we do not believe in who we really are. We give lip service to this thing called SOUL or SPIRIT and to the desire to believe in something greater than ourselves such as source, divine or God. But when we really get into it,
when we are faced with it, we question our belief and we find ourselves in a negative vibe of “hope.”
 
Now many believe that hope is a positive.
I not so much so.
 
To me hope is a negative word,
with negative energy attachments.
It is disempowering.
 
Just feel these statement-
 
” I hope I get a new job.”
” I hope I overcome this illness.”
” I hope she graduates school.”
“I hope nothing bad has happened.”
 
verses
 
“I know that the perfect job for me is around the corner.”
“I know I just need to support my body and take some time for me.”
“I know she is working hard to achieve her goals.”
“I know that things always work out for everyone’s highest and best good.”
 
Which side of the fence feels better to you?
Which side feels stronger?
More powerful?
More like it is focusing good vibes toward something vs. negative vibes?
 
 
We do this in so many ways.
Bring ourselves down.
Bring others down ( often without realizing the power of our words)
and focusing in on the negative all the while BELIEVING we are giving our best wishes or highest vibrational thoughts and focus.
 
But it ain’t true.
 
If we really believed we had a SOUL.
If we really believed that there was a God or something greater than self and it has a plan,
then we would only desire to live our life to the fullest and that has nothing to do with living in fear of death.
 
Fearing death disables us from being present in our life.
It has us act from a place of scarcity.
A place of disembodiment.
We tap out and try and hide from life.
All in the pursuit to live longer.
To not feel pain.
To not suffer.
To not have bad things happen.
 
But this is sheer craziness.
These suppose bad things are here to help us clarify what we want in life and from life.
 
These “bad” things help us discover who we are, want to be and they are blessings.
 
Not all blessings come in pretty little boxes.
Not all are sweet and sugar topped.
 
Without the contrast we never truly authentically get a chance to meet who we are.
 
Avoiding the contrast is for the weak.
It is for those who believe that they can somehow outsmart death.
They think that death is an ending.
When what if….
Croaking just was another step on our life path for our soul?
 
But hoping for survival in our current state of experience is silly.
What one can do,
is COMMIT to LIVING presently.
To loving this moment.
To expanding into their fullest potential and giving this amazing world their VERY BEST.
 
You will never achieve that,
living in FEAR.
You will never have that presence if you are trying to avoid death.
But you will miss out on all your BLESSINGS.
No matter how you perceive them.
 
And the even worse part is that you will never taste the raptures of your AUTHENTIC SELF.
 
You are beautiful.
You are powerful.
You are amazing.
You have so much to give this world.
 
Don’t let fear and worry of what you cannot avoid,
what you have no control over hide your light any longer love.
 
It is time for you to step up.
Claim Your Life.
And Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Are you ready to commit to your SOUL?
Desiring something more in your life?
 
If you are someone who looks in the mirror every day and knows that you have so much more to offer this world, but feels stuck in how to go about revealing it, then perhaps we should speak.
 
If you feel a call in your gut and you know you need to just get the tools and find the support to step the eff up in your life once and for all and let your light shine in…
relationship.
work.
purpose.
 
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Ageing Backward, Is That A Thing?

Some day’s I feel beautiful.
Someday’s I feel youthful.
Someday’s I feel vibrant.
And those someday’s are most day’s,
these day’s.
 
They say age is just a number.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They say that wrinkles show character and wisdom.
They say a lot, don’t they…
whoever they are.
 
But what about aging backward?
Is it possible?
 
I believe it is.
 
I believe it because most day’s I live it.
Most day’s I glow,
I feel all the above.
Granted you could say it is because I am obsessive about skin care,
and this I am.
However, there is so much more to it.
 
Glowing youthfulness comes from being turned on to life.
Vibrancy comes from letting the universe f-ck you wide open.
Beauty comes from loving yourself.
 
Good orgasm,
plays a massive role too.
And I mean orgasm,
not just sex.
There are plenty of times in life where sex can drain your ass instead of give you an afterglow,
and the afterglow only comes from being filled up with all those yummie chemicals that ONLY orgasm can provide most effectively.
 
But on top of that,
youthful skin, appearance and radiance comes from being a tad bit selfish and making space for self-care practices.
It also comes from not polluting your mind with draining negative stinking thinking.
 
You can do all the right things with diet.
You can do all the right things with skin care.
If you’re mindset is wrong,
if you are not overflowing with orgasmic energy,
if you are not taking daily TLC time for you,
and most importantly,
if you are not living in your JOY.
 
Then guess what beautiful?
You will age.
and age quickly.
No matter what the years are for you,
your glow tells the truth of your state of being.
Of your VIBE.
 
Are you blah?
Are you pale?
Are you dried out?
Are you squinting and making angry faces,
when you are “not thinking about anything?”
 
What does your energy toward life say about your vibrance?
 
Are you ready to JUMP UP,
get a start on life and the day?
 
or are you a grumpy little dwarf?
 
Okay Beautiful,
you don’t have to wither away.
No one wishes this for you,
least of all God or your soul.
 
But when you look in the mirror,
when you truly stop and look,
look into your eye’s and feel your heart.
What does your soul have to say?
Is she happy?
 
Want to really get a clear answer?
cup your pussy with one hand,
and place your hand on your heart with the other.
Now look yourself in the eye.
Feel.
 
F-E-E-L into your body.
Feel past your body.
Tap into SOUL Baby.
 
What does she say?
Is she happy?
Is she turned on?
Is she ignited?
In love?
orgasmic?
 
Want to age backward without botox or surgery?
The answer is SOUL.
 
Soul Alignment.
 
That’s right sistar!
Your soul want’s you to take the plunge into her,
your soul desires to embody you,
she wants you to look in the mirror and truly feel your authentic self.
She wants you to stop caring what everyone else thinks,
or what you perceive they are thinking.
She wants you to claim your mother f-cking life as the badass bitch that you are and stop being the people pleasing pussy that you pretend to be.
 
You are worthing BABY!
It is high effing time that you just accept who you are,
who you were born to be,
and take that step into your greatness.
 
Afterall, you’re not getting any younger.
Or are you?
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
——————————————————————————
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