Little girls are taught to smile, be polite and make sure to not ask for too much or be too demanding.
Little girls are told that it is their responsibility to take care of others.
Little girls are told that it is their fault if a boy says, thinks or does something based in sexual attitude to them.
Little girls are told that only “bad” girls speak about their desires or ask for them.
And you know what all of this bullsh*t does to us women?
It causes some seriously unhappy women that have no clue what they want and are loaded with shame and guilt. It is the beginning of a life long plague where we grown ass women attract all the wrong men in our lives and scare away the good guys left and right because we are lost little girls hiding in this grown up body, pretending to have all our sh*t together STILL trying to be a “good girl” like we were taught.
And you know what this bullsh*t does to men?
It teaches them that women are their for the use and the toss away. It teaches them that they don’t have to earn us nor work on themselves to keep us. It teaches them that sex is a transaction and that women should be happy with what they get back from a guy which is typically some slimy come on laced with some expectation.
These teachings that our youth get contribute to the crappy dating world we live in. They are the foundations of the issues in our relationship saga’s and our marriage crisis’s.
We speak about monogamy but what we don’t understand is that with it or ANY relationship outline that each of us MUST be committed to each other and to our own growth and the growth of the relationship. Relationships are not easy, they require work, commitment and compassion. Here is the issue, often we get into a relationship way to quickly and we throw ourselves into the deep end and expect that commitment is a sure thing. We also expect that this commitment is going to allow us to not have to work so hard any more and that we can just relax and soften the courting ( on both sides). Commitment means that sex should just happen, when we want it and that it is part of our relationship duties that we should be damn happy about.
This is all so far from any truth, yet this is what relationship after relationship goes through.
These issues would all come to a halt if they never had an opportunity to get started.
And here is why I am a bitch to men.
I am a bitch to men because when a man messages me a random text, email, FB message and asks me a dumb question like:
” How old are you?”
“What’s your name?”
“Are you married?”
“How are you today ?”
(and these are opener liner’s)
Or simply just says, “Hi.” and leaves it at that. I can tell that I have a winner of a man in my presence. Yeppers, this man is committed to only one thing and it is not to getting to know me or exploring any sort of relationship. No he is more than likely hoping that I am as desperate as him and will send him a picture or get into a sex chat with him so that he can jack off to my words and picture and be done. Once again proving that men in today’s world have been taught that women are their for the usage, their pleasure and can easily be disposed of.
Take this into the dating world and you get the guys who think that it’s okay to assume that sex or anything will happen just because they have asked a woman out. If they buy dinner well then, what are they getting in return? If they have taken a woman out three times then she better put out.
Our society norm on relationship is that it is ALL about the QUICK, EASY HOOK UP.
It is not just the men’s fault here.
Us ladies have a BIG role in this as well.
We allow this kind of attitude to flourish by the way we act.
Not being authentic from the start. Leading men on in one way and at the same time keeping ourselves locked away and not sharing what we are wanting in a relationship. Thinking that the way to a man’s heart is through his cock and giving him easy sex right up front.
Ladies, this is NOT the way to capture a man. You can have many “boys” to play with but a man will want more of you than just your sex. And a man will be willing to take things slow, be present with you and show you in many ways that you are more than just a booty call or friend with benefits. These men are willing to court and do so NOT because of some duty or because they think that women cannot do things such as open doors and pull out chairs or pay a tab, but because it brings them pleasure to pamper you and take care of you. Because they are operating in their divine masculine and love being a man that is strong in himself thus can support a woman in her feminine.
They also, do not have a desire for you to have sex with them out of duty because they just paid for dinner. No they only desire to have you sexually when you are ready and wanting it too. They understand that it takes an emotional connection and level of trust to be open to having pleasurable sex and intimacy and that it is NOT about the pump, pump, ooooh, goo experience that they could have in the privacy of their own bathroom with their hand but that when you finally come together in this way that his pleasure will be intensified by your surrender due to the trust building and emotional connection that you both created on the front side.
These sort of men, through their own energy and personal power and confidence in them selves and life make a woman want them in every way from the first moment of meeting.
It is NOT something that can be faked either.
These men desire a WOMAN not a girl. They want someone stable in who she is, comfortable in her feminine energy and NOT shadowing her beauty with a need to prove that she is a better man than he. These men value authentic women, not manipulation and game playing. They want us women to show up as we are in any moment, raw, beautiful and in our power as a woman.
These men smile at our fire, our passion, our hearts desires. They are willing to hold space for our tears and they value emotions, ALL of them.
These men even if scared, desire more to be strong in themselves and in worship of their love to their woman than to try an control her through some belittling program of duty that only kills a relationship. They know what they want, they know it is work and there will be emotional times. They understand that in order to keep a real woman in their life that they must ALWAYS strive to be a better man then what they were the day before and have as much compassion for themselves as they do for her.
This is why I am a bitch to men.
NOT all men.
Just the chosen men that are not men to start with but little boys, insecure in themselves and fearful of any true depth of relationship or intimacy. These men I am a bitch too, because why would a woman settle for anything less than an authentic superior man who is on purpose, in love with life and self and fully ready to envelop her in his heart.
Why would a woman settle for a man that cannot or refuses to match her radiance and love with his own?
Why would a woman settle for anything less than what God wants her to have? God wants us women to ask men to stand up and be men, in their power and glory and with their hearts and souls, not just their” little heads.”
Ladies why are you settling?