Orgasm.
I love a good orgasm.
I crave a good orgasm.
I need so desperately a good orgasm.
How about you?
Lately I have been challenged though with orgasm.
And I am noticing that it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult for me to drop down and open up to ORGASM.
I find myself with my lover,
attempting to open up,
attempting to receive,
attempting to lean more in to all that he is offering me.
I know that my pleasure increases his pleasure.
I know that it is not his responsibility to get me to orgasm.
The reality is that ONLY I can give myself an orgasm.
I do not say this as to say that only I can “rub one out.”
No I mean that only I can give myself an orgasm by allowing it to happen.
So why am I preventing myself from this pleasure?
Why am I limiting my experience?
Fear.
An Issue with Worthiness.
An Issue with Trust.
An Issue with Self- Love and thus love in itself and even toward my partner.
Here is the reality of why one does not open to ORGASM.
Instead I find myself,
laying there closed off in frustration.
I find myself craving more,
but not asking for what I need or want in the moment.
I find myself not speaking about it in general.
I find myself a prisoner in my mind during sex.
Disconnected from my body,
disconnected from my sex.
Instead of spreading my whole being more open,
Instead of saying, “Hey, I need this touch… or this position.. or this time…this kiss.” I say nothing and go into analyzation of the mechanics of what is happening, of what is wrong with me, of a technique or I just find myself drifting off into some other place that is non sexy in my mind and getting lost there until a nerve is teased and brings me back to my body for a second.
Pretty disappointing.
Especially because my partner is being present, loving, supportive, taking his time and really applying himself to my pleasure.
I see all of his greatness.
I just cannot feel it.
And this reality has NOTHING to do with him,
and everything to do with me.
So here I sit after a ton of good sexing,
with female blue balls. ( Yes that is a thing, us ladies get blue balls just like men. And we get bitchy as hell from it.)
I sit here after a bunch of good sexing,
frustrated, throbbing, achy, moody, disappointed in myself, tired and in fear.
Fear of sharing my truth.
Fear of what is going on with me inside my heart and mind.
I know my body is fine, my heart and mind though are struggling to open back up to love and connection and feel overwhelmed from all the stresses of life.
Fear of what my lover may think or feel if I share my truth.
With all of that shared, I KNOW the path I must take.
And if you are challenged with finding your ORGASM as well,
if you are experiencing a moment like what I am,
where you are having good sex,
with a good partner,
and you are enjoying the sex,
you just are NOT GETTING THERE.
You just DO NOT FEEL the release.
The CONNECTION.
The ORGASM.
But it is still good.
Then listen up!
Take it from someone who has been educating and coaching on SEX and ORGASM for the last decade and can be multi- orgasmic.
If you are feeling non-orgasmic and wonder will I ever get through this?
If you are questioning what is wrong with me?
You can get through it.
You can access your “O”
You can feel again.
The steps to pleasure are not about a better stroke.
Are not about deeper penetration.
Are not about more sex.
What you have to do is simple but not easy.
LET GO.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Stop focusing on the mechanics of sex.
Sex for us women is so very much more than mechanics.
We will NEVER access true orgasm if we are just focusing in on our genitals and the mechanics.
ORGASM is not about the “in and out”
It is about the CONNECTION.
First to self.
Then to partner.
It is a meditation.
It requires us to let go of our fears, our concerns,
our thoughts about everything else.
And JUST BECOME ONE
with our PUSSY.
As we open our hearts and soul in our sex,
we open our pussy’s ability to feel more,
to experience more.
This WILL REQUIRE our love of self,
and our understanding that we are WORTHY of pleasure and of LOVE.
We must support our ORGASM by asking for what we need.
By guiding in love our partners hands, mouths, cocks and attention.
We cannot just LAY THERE.
No.
If you craving ORGASM the way that I am, then you have to COMMIT to CLAIMING IT.
You have to ASK for IT.
DEMAND IT.
Therefore it is high time BABY,
that you speak up.
Show if you have too.
Try new things.
Get PLAYFUL.
OPEN YOURSELF.
Stop beating yourself up for not having an ORGASM.
For feeling like a shitting partner, because you cannot achieve what you and your partner both want for you,
but instead OPEN to it.
IT IS TIME YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.
WORTH IT ALL!
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can get you to open up.
To receive.
To ORGASM.
And here is just one more reality ladies,
When you finally open to the “O” between your legs,
and it comes from your core, not the mechanics of sex.
You will be on the path to EMBRACING YOUR LIFE “O”
as well.
You will start to tap into ALL OF YOUR beautiful abundance.
You will STEP INTO YOUR POWER.
Your Goddess.
She awaits you.
She is you.
“The Goddess between my legs, makes mouths water.” – Rupi Kaur
May your rivers flow endlessly.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living