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A WOMAN’S WORTH…

A WOMAN’S WORTH…

 

Today I woke feeling pathetic, unworthy, as though I have no value to this thing called life. 

I sat here this morning over breakfast doing the thing that I possibly detest the most…

Telling my partner my fears, sharing my anxiety, telling him how he deserves a better partner, how woeful I felt I was and that life did not want to accept me for me. 

I quickly came up with many ideas as to why I was in this state of being from my hormones to a mid life crisis and everything in between, however as the day progresses and I reach out to my mentor to see what insight she might have for me I come back into terms with that everything is just as it is supposed to be as scared as I might feel in the moment. 

 

You see I am in transition. 

I am dieing. 

I know that in the next year of my existence here on earth that everything that I currently know, everything that I currently am, my business, my home, my relationship, my goals will even be transformed. 

 

I feel like Schrodinger’s cat.

Am I dead?

Am I alive?

IDK. 

 

In the midst of this transition I have lost myself in so many ways. 

And as I lose who I once was in all areas of my life, I stand here questioning what will become of ME? 

 

It is so easy to just lean into what the world tells me I “should” or “need” do and be. 

I have done that for years in different ways, and every time I do, sure I learn, I expand, I have success to some degree, but I never feel that unbounded love and appreciation for my life nor for self unless I basically give the middle finger to what society is telling me and JUST DO ME. 

 

Doing me take courage, however. 

Doing me requires that I look past all my fear and failure. 

Doing me means  that I stop worrying and start trusting at a deeper level than what I can even imagine possible. 

To actually KNOW that I am supported and that everything is going my way even though I don’t think so at this current moment. 

 

The THING that I have come to realize over this time of death and rebirth is that we women face some serious struggles around our worth. 

 

What makes us worthy in today’s world?

I scroll through my social media and I see beautiful, strong, intelligent and talented women leaning in on all their feminine magic of the physical. I see women whose messages are powerful, flaunting a little extra cleavage, doing yoga in their g-strings, taking pictures with sultry eyes in bed and so much more. 

 

I hear other talented brilliant women talking about how they need to get married and have a kid so they can have importance in this world. 

To be taken seriously even. 

I see women, striving to look younger and older, depending on what they perceive as desirable. 

Many women turn toward their pocket books, their savings and investments to prove that they are worthy of something more than what they have. 

 

The house. 

The car. 

The money in the bank. 

The marriage. 

The kids. 

The body. 

How orgasmic she is.

Her youthfulness. 

Her wisdom. 

Her education level. 

What  her career is. 

Where she has traveled.

What she does for her community and church or family.

 

These things are ALL what we women of today strive to be 1000% in. 

And somehow we try to do it alone. 

We believe that it is up to us. 

That we have to make it happen or we are pathetic if any of it does not come to fruition. 

And I mean A-L-L of it!

 

The “reality” is that no one can do it all and be successful 100% of the time on 100% of the damn thing that this world’s current society puts into our playfield and tells us that we must get right, do right, be successful in and have. 

 

That’s the most important thing, HAVE.

And that is what our worthiness is based on, what we have or not.

 

We translate this idea of worthiness over to value. 

And we are lacking in any area of our lives, or if we are not top our game, showing up like the bada*s babe that we want to be, we condemn ourselves in some fashion or form. 

We totally forget about the things that matter. 

We forget to appreciate all that we have done and survived in life. 

We forget that we are imperfectly perfect and always a work in progress, AND that, that is okay. 

When we are down on our luck, in a bad mood, wrapped up in victim consciousness, feeling as defeated and lost and as though the most value we provide is to be an ATM machine to our kids and maid (mind you we may be sucking at that too in the moment), that those pampered little brats are here because of our strong AF vajayjay’s and determination. 

 

We went through excruciating pain to bring that pain in the a*s brat into this world.  

 

We forget that the man who may look at us and wonder, “why is she so moody and grumpy, not in the mood today,” is laying in our bed because we made him feel like king of the MF world somewhere along the line and he values our smile, our strength, our loving eyes, and our emotions that tap him into his own inner realms that he can’t access without our tender feminine heart. 

 

We forget that our compassion and ability to  feel in this life is a blessing to all those who entrust us with their fear, suffering, hope, dreams and more. 

 

That our wisdom that comes from deep within, the intuition that we have no reason for, but just know is a gift from spirit. For all of time, the feminine has been considered closer to God, more aligned and open to spirit and the universe than the masculine. So why do we question ourselves today?

 

We women are magical. 

We are powerful. 

We are ONE with the universe. 

But we choose to deny our alignment. 

We turn away from all that is natural and designed for us in an attempt to be masculine and bare all the burdens of such. 

 

No wonder we have a society of beautiful, powerful, intelligent and wise women lost in who they are and what they offer this thing called life. 

 

For where our worth lies….

We do not value ourselves.

 

And until we do…

We will remain lost and always aiming to please the world that  we live in instead of who we are.

 

It’s time my beautiful AF bada*s woman to won your value and worth and know who you really are at a deep soul level. 

 

You have all the answers for your happy ever after. 

You just have to trust that you are supported by who you were born to be. 

 

YOU.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Existing

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today. 

 

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How I lost 18 Pounds in 4 months with Zero Effort, Only Doing One THING!

👉👉👉CAN A MAN BE THE BEST WEIGHT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM, SLEEP AGENT AND STRESS REDUCER OUT THERE?

 

The right man certainly can be.🤯

Today I speak to all the 👑queens out there who look in the mirror, do those little sidewards poses sucking in your tummies, checkin’ out how the booty looks in those pants, if the “girls” are perky looking today or if you need to grab the extra support bra. How your eyes look. Are you needing extra concealer, are the lines, soft wrinkles and exhaustion from life showing up to boldly or…💃💃💃

 

Today I am sharing a revelation with you that I have witnessed over the course of time in different ways in my own personal life and with friends and clients alike.

 

But when I tell you that from a VERY personal and real level, I have never been through such a beautiful transformation as the one that I am in currently in and it all stems from the love of the right man. Now, don’t get me wrong here…

it’s not actually his action of love that is doing anything.

Its not a massive amount of sex.

It’s not really anything other than I can put down all my armour with him and surrender.

 

🤯Whoa…

 

Did you catch that big scary word that most queens do not like to speak outloud?

 

SURRENDER.

 

Lay down our armour?🦸‍♀️

Put down the shields and sword?⚔️

Trust the MF masculine?

 

I know, I have gone off the deep end for some of you ladies out there. In todays time when we women are able to be self-sufficent and not need relationship, just have the sex we want, when we want and live our lives without the bartering with a man, the concept of surrendering to the masculine seems shear ludicrous and crazy.

 

I get it.

 

But are you fulfilled?

Sure you may believe that you are.

You got the career, the kids, the house, the money, the “freedom” but where do you allow yourself to be held?

Where do you allow your softness as the feminine to be revealed?

And if you are a coupled queen, do you truly let your king shine as a man or do you constantly overthrow his throne with your fear of being controlled by him?

 

Do you in essence cuckold your man?😲🤔🤯

You “give him sex” but you do not actually receive him or let him receive you?

 

Coupled or single,

What we desire in a relationship on both sides of the coin is connection.

Put simply connection DOES NOT come from two physical bodies engaging in sex or physical touch.

Connection comes from emotional bonding and trust.

Connection comes from being able to embody one’s self with deep presence and thus can actually feel at an emotional and energetic level their partner.

They are willing to reveal themselves fully.

They are willing to be seen authentically.

They are willing to be naked in every way with their lover.

 

These things can NEVER be achieved with our armour up.

These things cannot happen without surrender from our deepest heart center with our lover.

 

And as long as we choose to uphold that emotional/energetic armour in our sexing, in our relationships, with our intimacy we will also bear the effects of the armour which are actual weight of the physical body.

Stress of the mind.

Emotional overload and imbalances.

We will not be able to lay our heads down and truly rest.

Because the weight of life,

the guarding of our hearts,

and the exhaustion of us “acting out a role for survival” will only create restlessness of our souls.

 

When we enter a soulmate relationship,

a union with our true significant other we have zero desire to hold onto our swords and weapons. We do not want barriers to our heart.

 

👊👊👊We want UNION.

Zero space between.

 

And when we truly enter a relationship of this divine nature we also reap the rewards here in the physical if we are willing to surrender to this sort of depth and authentic connection in love.

 

WE STAND NAKED IN EVERY WAY BEFORE OUR SOULMATE.

 

And here we find our truest freedom.

Our most unbound love.

We discover who we really are,

and we open ourselves to him.

 

And he as a heart centered man,

strong in his masculine and purpose driven in his life understands that the way he penetrates your heart as his queen is also how he penetrates his world.

He must lean fully into your gates in love and trust of the feminine or he his lack of surrender will be felt and you will not be able to trust him.

 

However you my dear queen must remember that it is a two way street ALWAYS.

 

If you as a woman refuse to trust yourself,

if you refuse to get out of your mind space,

If you refuse to speak your truth,

if you refuse to take responsibility for your emotions, your orgasms, your choices, your triggers and your fear,

then he cannot lean into your gates in trust.

 

A king cannot lead his queen to the most delicious moments of connection and intimacy if his queen does not respect him in his masculine.  And a queen can never respect a king who does not know whom he is and who has healthy boundaries and a stable heart center.

 

So can a man be the best weight management system, sleep agent and stress reducer out there?

 

Yes the right man certainly can.

The right man + the right woman can conquer their world together.

They will thrive and live unbound in their love.

They will be healthy physically, emotionally, sexually, financially and spiritually.

 

Unfortunately it is my opinion from my over two decades of working with couples that the harsh reality is that about 85% of unions are not soul based but need based.

Survival based.

 

And it shows my dear queen in your face.

In your eyes.

In your body.

In how you speak of yourself.

In how you show up in your life.

 

I love you beautiful.

You are worthy of a king that is worthy of you.

 

But you have to first want to find him and then be willing to lay down your armour.

 

As Alway,

Loving you from 18 pounds lighter,  radiance in my face and eyes, a good night’s sleep in my mans arms and lovin’ the skin I am in with a surrendered heart to my King 👑

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Queens let’s chat about getting you back into your rightful throne.

Based in that beautiful heart center, let me show you the steps to putting down the armour with your soulmate or how to call in your soulmate if that’s where you are at and how to fully become embodied in love and orgasm today.

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AND I CAME CRASHING BACK INTO MY HEART…JUST LIKE THAT.

AND I CAME CRASHING BACK INTO MY HEART… JUST LIKE THAT.

 

He grabbed me,

kissed me and pushed me back onto the bed.

I was rambling on and on about my frustration,

my anger. Lost in thought and the mind.

I was distant from him.

Distant from me.

And lost beyond measure.

I could not feel my heart,

in truth I did not even want to right then.

I had been triggered and I was pissed.

Not at him.

At life in general.

My flow had been disrupted,

I had allowed it to happen and I was out of control of my life in that instant. The chaos of kids, work, house and family stirred around me and I just wanted solitude and peace but had no way of obtaining it because inside I was a storm that I had not even slowed to recognize.

 

And that was what he did.

He slowed me.

He grabbed a hold of me and led me back to my heart.

That space that I was forced into feeling my truth.

That space where I knew I was not alone in this world,

that space where he was not going to let me run from him, from us, from me.

And he passionately took hold of me there.

He moved with clarity, direction and determination.

I tried to fight his lead.

My mouth was rambling, but he kissed me and would not take my ego based words.

I pushed up against him and ran from feeling him physically, mentally, emotionally.

But he tore off my clothes and laid me naked, vulnerable before him. Devouring my flesh like a hungry wild animal and forcing me to come back to him.

Pressing himself into me,

not letting me go.

I fought with myself to feel.

I fought with the urge to physically stop his love at that moment.

Where days before I found myself lost in a trance of our eyes gazing  during our sexing, here I lay closing my eyes and wanting to hide.

Hiding from the reveal of my soul.

Hiding from my pain in feeling lost and angry.

Hiding by throwing up my armour and not allowing myself to feel.

Not allowing his intensity to penetrate my core.

My armour was weakening.

And tears fell.

My chest became tense as I attempted to hold back my breaking,

the cracking of my armour, the cracking of my heart and the desire to fully open to his touch, his kiss, his presence, his love.

His breath softly moving across my breast,

my heart beat instensing,

I could feel him.

As I came back to him,

back to us,

back me,

he let out the affirming words of, “Yes. yes.yes.”

I knew that he too felt me dropping.

Felt me feeling him.

And as I laid down my armour my pleasure arose.

with mine his came too.

And I was drawn in.

I was seen.

I was held.

I was fulfilled.

And my trust grew.

 

————————————————————————–

 

This is the taking of the feminine that the masculine must learn.

It is in deep love and devotion.

It is in divine leadership and surrender all the saame,

and it is based in soul consciousness.

Often mistaken for control or for a desire to have one’s way,

the difference is in the emotional investment in the moment, in the relationship and the centeredness in self.

The masculine is meant to lead the femeine home to her heart.

And it is the masculine that must remain strong in these moments, strong in love. Not cowering to the feminines fires but standing firm in who they are and in their purpose beyond their mate, beyond their fear or ego or desire to control her fires, but in turn they must handle her with care and passion, clarity and direction. She must feel his leadership as well as his surrender to his own heart to be able to trust him to lead her back to her  own.

 

This is the dance.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

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TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE.

 

CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE

 

The exchange of more than breath. 

The release of more than just air. 

 

The exhale. 

The release. 

The letting go. 

The feeling. 

The exchange that can only be experienced when a deep intimacy is present.

 

We crave to experience it, 

We value and fear it. 

We know its worth, 

But we have little concept of it.

Intimacy, 

True intimacy eludes us in our relationships and often throughout our lives.. 

We hear the tales of intimate love, 

Intimacy in our sex, 

With God and spirit. 

But we hardly grasp what it legitimately is. 

 

That is until we have it upon us. 

Breathing its existence into every fiber of our being. 

And then we know. 

Then it is unquestioned. 

Intimacy is the most powerful energy connection that two people can share. 

It exceeds the physical dimensions. 

It can be felt from opposite sides of the planet, 

It is a breathtaking connection of the rarest form. 

But why is it so elusive to the majority of people, 

For the majority of our lives?

Especially when we crave it, 

Work toward it, 

Value it and believe that we have it often to only discover that we are not even touching its rim when our reality awakens us to how distant we are in our lives from self, lovers and mates as well as God?

 

How do we so easily mistaken intimacy for the physical, 

Or for communication or time shared?

How do we believe that intimacy is a physical sexual act, 

Or something that can only be held in a container with just one?

 

When intimacy is expansive. 

Just like the exhale, 

It’s in the letting go and allowing of. 

It’s in the leaning into its ebb and flow, 

It’s in the energy of the exchange. 

The crossing of energetic paths and the meeting of souls that are aligned. 

It is the energetics of connection. 

It is the depth that we journey into, 

That exceeds words, actions and thought. 

There is no distance that can prevent us from touching our lover intimately, 

Through our sexual energy when we have this connection. 

We can go there on the waves of emotion felt, 

The visions we share, 

The heartbeat of our combined ripples in time. 

It is the exhale to our lovemaking, 

It is the exhale from our running toward, 

It is the exhale in our surrender, 

And the exaltation of our joy in our meeting. 

 

Intimacy is an energetic connection that has no reason to the ordinary. 

It has no explanation as to why we have it with some and why no matter how hard we work to achieve it with others that it can never be. 

 

There is no true methodology to create it. 

It balances on the tightrope of vulnerability and unconditional love. 

It needs witnessing and embracing for its truth. 

And it can never live when it is controlled, harnessed or demanded to exist when it is not in its natural state. 

 

You must catch it in the exhale of your very existence, 

And in the exhale of all that you know and have known. 

Because here is the only place where you can discover its beauty and strength. 

Its depth and value, 

It is the only place that you will be able to appreciate it for what it is and see that it is nothing like that, that you have experienced thus far. 

 

When you release into the exhale of intimacy you will allow yourself to drift without question. You will enjoy the simplest of things and find yourself speaking without a need for words. 

The silence of your energetic communication will be met with eye’s of knowing and hearts abound with love. 

 

You will fall in trust into intimacy, 

Because it is there to soothe you. 

It is there to comfort and hold you in the knowing. 

 

Can you feel it?

Have you felt it?

 

Truly. 

 

Or are you still captivated by the illusion of what you believe it should be and unhappy with the results of what you have?

 

Do you find yourself scratching your head in bewilderment at what I speak of. 

Unable to grasp its power. 

Unwilling still to lean into the challenging space of the unknown. 

And let go. 

 

Exhale into all that you crave with life, 

With your lover or mate, 

Your child and friend, 

With God and self. 

 

Intimacy is about the revealing of your deepest self. 

It is about taking down all the barriers and being seen. 

Intimacy has no boundaries. 

Not physical nor space. 

And that is the challenge of the human mind. 

We resist the inability to control. 

We fear what we have no say in. 

And so we turn our backs on the beauty of what we crave. 

We hide and complain, 

We fight for the limitations of it and we disregard the fact that it us that is setting up the walls to this beautiful energetic connection. 

It is our eyes that are blinded by fear. 

Hidden from our sight by ego. 

We can not recognize under the veils that we cover ourselves with the falsities of fear.

 

And so it remains elusive. 

And we sit in our inner chaos, 

desiring what we believe it is, 

Wanting always for more. 

And never satisfied. 

Always lost and empty to some degree in the relationship of life. 

With our lovers, ourselves and God.

 

But it is time my love. 

It is time to let go and exhale. 

That is where you will catch me at. 

That is the space that I choose to surrender into and meet you there. 

 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” Rumi.

 

Yes here. 

 

Here my love. 

Here is where you will find me, 

Witnessing self and life. 

Exhaling into intimacy. 

Into you. 

Into me. 

Into life. 

 

Will you catch me in the exhale?

 

Breath.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.

It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs. 

It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life, 

Now and forever more. 

 

Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.

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I WILL FIND YOU.

 

I WILL FIND YOU.

 

As I lay under the starriest of starry nights,

my breath being captivated by the sight of shooting stars,

a crescent moon that I can relax into and my thoughts drift into galaxies unknown before me,

I hear the words….

 

“I will find you.”

 

A distance call from a time unknown,

a feeling of knowing that it is true,

A certainty that I am cradled in this moment by a love deeper than can be fathomed,

held at the breast of of the center of the universe,

and my breath erupts into a rolling gasm of ecstasy.

 

Each inhale carries me further into the brilliance of the night,

each inhale I can feel the earth beneath my body,

a pulse coming from her that is intimate, timeless and supportive.

 

Each exhale is a releasing of my self imposed limitations,

fears and constraints.

 

The exhale of my physical,

and the acceptance of soul.

 

“I will find you.”

 

A celebration of coming home.

A feeling of making love with the universe,

being penetrated by all of time.

 

My hunger for this deep surrender being met in the arms of my greatest lover,

my heart explodes from the revelation that is being offered,

as the night air wraps itself around me and the dewy grass beneath pulls in further,

asking to suckle on my flesh,

while the call of the wild in the distance beats its drum…

 

Calling me home.

Home where I am seen.

Where I am heard.

 

Where I am found.

 

The words are no longer something to be reminded of,

they are here,

in this moment in this wrinkle in time that I never want to let loose of again.

 

Here those words are no longer haunting to my soul,

but they are manifest.

 

I am found,

in the realization that I was never lost.

 

I have been in the arms of my lover since time began.

He has been cradling me,

witnessing my every move,

and hungering for me to awaken so I can see as he does the mysteries around me,

and feel the heartbeat of the earth,

a pulse that carries me away from the static and chaos of the normalcy of the world that is living in fear of being found.

 

Has it always been right here?

Just outside the grasp that I thought that I had.

Beside me,

watching me dance when I thought I was stumbling in the darkness,

but could not see the mystery.

 

” I will find you.”

 

I hear these words calling from the distance of the furthest star in the nights sky,

comets streak the sky,

carrying with them a timeless saga of our souls code,

the sparks of life that transpire and we never notice,

the moments that we take for granted,

allow to go unseen,

and disregard with little to no respect for the magic that makes up our lives.

We are all angels,

fallen and wounded by the tragedies of our past lives unlived,

and we remain broken winged until we choose to breathe in the mysteries of this universe, the magic that can heal us and carry us back to where we know we are to be,

back home.

 

Where we can each be seen in our magnitude,

our voices can be heard singing from the furthest galaxies unknown and known,

and our vision is pure,

because we are found.

We are in our power.

Our wings are open and expanded just as is our breath.

 

The only thing that stands between here,

And where we are each witnessed in our greatest beauty, joy and bliss,

is the illusion that we are not worthy.

 

And to discover our worthiness we must open ourselves to being penetrated by our greatest lover,

we must be willing to expand,

to evolve.

To let go of the constrictive programs and thoughts that chain us to the ground,

we must be willing to put down the fight,

to stop waring within ourselves,

and be willing to know who we are.

Truly who we each are.

Without hesitation or doubt.

 

We must follow that call,

 

” I will find you.”

 

And know that time and space do not exist.

We are eternal,

as is the call that we hear from the distance.

 

It is forever calling us home,

home to where we have no doubt.

No fear or limitations.

 

Asking us to let loose of the chains that we carry so that we can feel the expansion and expression of our worthiness here in this lifetime,

in this fleshy existence that allows us to be enwrapped in a lovers arms,

permits us the opportunity to taste of the wonders and beauty that only human life can offer,

but few slow down to embrace and enjoy.

 

I choose differently.

I choose to open,

here on this dewy grass under the stariest of starry night skies,

with the night breeze dancing through the leaves of trees,

the call of the wild in the distance making itself known.

 

Here I lay,

taken back by the magic,

the orgasmic rush of the earth’s pulse moving through my veins,

with every inhale I feel the depth of the penetration,

my back arches as though there is string coming from my breast and pulling me up to heaven’s gate,

my body rolls and moves to the instrumental vibrations of hearts meeting in the cosmos,

my eye’s roll back and take in the sky from a different perspective,

and I exhale….

 

Releasing into the current.

Letting go of time and space.

 

And allow myself to be taken home.

 

The words that I am reminded of are no more a reminder,

they are here.

 

I am here.

In the arms of my greatest lover.

And he takes me.

 

As I exhale deeper…

 

Deeper.

 

Deeper I am carried.

 

And I am found.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Discover who you are.

Start searching for the life that is before you.

It is time to know your worth and live it.

Claim your life today.

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The Secret Power Of Your Sex.

SWIRLING.

LOST IN EMOTION.

Bodies engaged,

sweat rolling between.

Gasping for air.

 

Release,

deep within, my cervix shakes,

my pelvic floor quivers,

my chest cracks,

my g-spot ignites,

and I sigh.

 

Ahhhhh…

 

It’s been hours of rolling in these sheets.

My muscles are like jello from all the orgasms,

the energy spasms and the release.

 

My legs are shaking and I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

It is hard to focus my vision,

the ceiling light is spinning as I lay there,

breathing in the intoxicating vibrations of this moment.

 

I AM DRUNK.

I am vulnerable.

I am raw.

I am open.

I feel so very alive and yet transcended into nothing.

 

Tears are streaming from my face.

My lover kisses and bites my neck,

grabs my hair at the base of my scalp and pulls me down onto him,

not just entering me but penetrating me.

Penetrating me to the core of my being,

as though he is witnessing my soul from within my very body.

 

My body quivers and shakes,

I have lost all reason,

I am without care,

Full abandon.

 

And here,

here in this space of true bliss,

here in this place that has not been visited to these levels of depth for sometime,

I CAN SURRENDER.

 

Letting go of the fear,

the worry and the thought.

Letting go of my conditions,

of terms and agreements,

letting go of the physical and just floating in the abyss of nothing yet everything,

and discovering myself yet again.

 

Here I am .

Here he is.

And together we get lost.

We expand and we explore.

 

From this land anything is possible.

All can be desired and achieved.

This is the land of alchemy,

the place of magick.

 

Sex Magick.

 

Calling down the blessings from source,

realizing them into here and now.

As I open fully to the deep rowling thunders of each orgasmic wave,

my spirit aligns and I allow.

I allow all to manifest that I have craved for,

longed for,

and I open my life to receiving it.

My body is awakened,

ignited and ready.

 

With each sip of air I call out to the universe my desires,

as my lover tousles me around,

pressing firmly inside of me,

pumping my g-spot in rhythmic cycles of ecstasy,

the juices roll from my lips and I pull his hand in further and further.

Fully engulfed inside my cavern,

his subtle moves of hand carry me deeper and deeper,

the pressure is building,

my body becomes tense.

And I see it.

 

I SEE IT ALL.

I feel the filling of my cup,

as it overflows with abundance,

with love and health,

as my life is changed,

altered for the better.

 

The shaking of my flesh subsides,

my breath deepens,

my muscles relax.

And I feel him again,

swirling,

teasing,

licking.

 

Intensifying my energy,

and I melt.

 

Dancing with my soul in this expression of truth.

Feeling an ignited calm,

a peace and hunger.

 

I know that this moment….

Like so many from my past is transformational.

Awakening.

And powerful.

 

And I am ready.

 

Take me.

Let me surrender into you and become nothing and everything.

 

Yes this is the power of our orgasm.

This is the importance of our sex.

This has been hidden from you for centuries,

known by few.

 

And it is truth.

It is my truth as it is yours as well,

you can channel your energy and focus it on your desired life.

Manifestation at its finest.

 

But first,

First you must learn its secrets.

 

Do you dare?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Happening this Saturday Sept. 12th, 2020 Tantric Sex Magick.

Where you can learn the mysteries and truth behind this sought after knowledge.

 

Can’t make that?

 

It’s okay.

 

Reach out to me to explore Tantric Coaching today to learn this and more.

Posted on

Hi, I Am Kendal’s P-ssy and THIS Is My Tale.

Hi, I am Kendal’s P-ssy….

I have a story to share with you.

It is my personal tale of a p-ssies struggles and come back to love and orgasm.

 

When Kendal was a small girl,

she discovered me. She loved to explore me and learn all about me in the shower and it felt wonderful.

We were so bonded and comfortable with each other,

and as Kendal grew and became a young adult,

she could hear me speaking to her about everything that I felt was good for us. She listened to some of my words and sought to help me have some of my desires,

but then one day Kendaal met a young man that I absolutely adored.

This young man knew how to treat Kendal.

He looked at her with eye full of love,

he touched her skin with the same adoration.

And months down the road she allowed him to touch me too.

 

It was an exciting day.

I can still feel those first touches.

I had never been seen by a boy before like this,

I had never been allowed to be touched by anyone other than Kendal until now,

and here he was.

 

Loving on me.

Delicately.

Focused.

and passionate.

 

I grew so hungry for the boy to do more than just touch me,

but he was respecting Kendal and wanted to move slowly.

And let me tell you,

He moved slowly.

It took him a year to finally make sweet love to us,

and when he did,

He remained in us for hours.

Rubbing, touching, kissing and sucking.

It was a loving moment and I felt so free and open.

I never wanted to part ways with this young man,

and Kendal was so happy,

so full of sexual light.

And confidence.

They shared dreams and ideas of the future,

talked as though thousands of years would go by with them together.

 

I was so excited about the endless possibilities of what they were discussing.

 

But one day,

the boy changed his mind.

He decided that he needed to venture out into the world without us. He kissed Kendal goodbye after lunch and vanished without a word.

 

Kendal cried for months,

she felt so lost and in agony over this relationship.

She became upset with me too in the process and blamed me for the pain that her heart was feeling.

So she distanced herself from me,

she did not touch me.

She did not want to have anyone else touch me.

She felt trapped in her surroundings and lost at her core.

 

A few months went by and all she could think of was escaping the world that she was existing in.

She met a man a decade older than her,

she could tell he had eyes for her and that is all that mattered.

She knew he was her ticket out of this mess that she was in.

And so she acted quickly and offered us up a tribute to the man,

she moaned and screamed, scratched and acted like I was enjoying it, acted like she was into it,

but I was not.

I felt saddened at her actions.

Before I knew it, the man had proposed  to her and she said yes,

I was lost at why she would do this when she did not have the feeling in her heart for him,

and I was not on board with the idea,

yet she said yes.

 

And years went by.

We had children,

and I kept being offered up for tribute,

to keep life normal and “happy” as she always said.

She believed that this is what adulting was about and that it just was.

She told us that the joy and love we shared with the boy so many years before was a fluke and that I needed to accept that we were not here to enjoy the sex anymore,

that we were here to have babies, make her husband happy and carry on.

 

And so I allowed her to use and abuse us.

But I shut myself down from the possibilities of pleasure,

I could not feel her heart anymore,

all I could feel was her anger and hatred.

 

Until, one day a man who was a friend of theirs started flirting with her. He grabbed her hand one afternoon and kissed her palm. I got excited.

I began to heat up and throb.

I was screaming,  “Do you feel that?”

I wanted her to recognize the look in this man’s eyes.

It was love.

And if she would stop waring with me she could feel the warmth of it at her core.

 

I was hopeful that this man could reconnect us.

And I pushed for her to do what she never thought possible,

go outside her marriage and tap back into me.

 

And she did.

And there were some fun adventures,

until that crazy mind of hers kicked back into the driver’s seat and told her to feel shame and guilt,

that her sex did not matter and that she was evil for venturing off and listening to me.

 

And so she locked us out again.

She blamed us for even more pain and loss in her life.

And we carried on being offered up as tribute to her husband for a decade more.

 

Over the years I went to work on other aspects of her,

trying to get them to side with me,

trying to get them to connect with me so that we could get her to listen to the fact that she was walking down the wrong path in her life and that the happiness that she craved and desired,

was never going to happen under these conditions of trauma.

And FINALLY I had a breakthrough with her intestines.

We devised a plan that would certainly cause her to pay attention….

 

One day while at an event with friends,

when she was laughing and masking her pain with alcohol we set our plan into action.

The intestines began to bleed everywhere!

She had white shorts on and was in a crowd of strangers and friends,

it was perfect.

She panicked.

She knew it was not me bleeding from her period,

and she knew it was serious.

It was a sobering moment for Kendal.

We had her attention.

And with some discovery she uncovered that she was now suffering from Crohn’s Disease.

 

She spent the next few years focusing on her body,

on her health, on her thoughts,

and even though she still ignored me,

she was on the right path to coming back into communication with me and after doing everything that she could to heal,

she came to the conclusion,  (thanks to me who made sure to kick Crohn’s into high gear after sex frequently) that there was alink between her sex, her p-ssy (me) and the disease.

 

And so she went back to her roots,

she went back to what the boy from so many years before had taught her,

to thier conversations about sex, body and soul.

And she realized that what she needed was sexual healing.

That all these years she had been living in her sexual shadow,

disconnected from who she really was and her desires,

disconnected from your intuition, her GPS (ME).

 

And one day she went to her husband and told him her discovery only to be told that she was crazy.

But, she was done with the pain and suffering.

She was done with feeling lost and moody.

She was done with pleasureless sex,

limited connection and not being happy in her life.

She was sick and tired of not living.

And she told her husband, “too bad, I am doing it anyway.”

 

And she did.

And it was amazing.

She started the very next week by connecting with a tantra coach, and she dug in deep quickly and did the emotional and psychological work that he offered her to remove the wounds and trauma and move past them, she did the physical release work to let the tension go from the body, and from me.

And she started to feel herself again.

She started to appreciate me again.

She started to love me again and feed me again with touch,

and then on day she decided that it was time to let me play some and she ventured out and found a man,

a man that looked at her the way that I like,

and she listened to me and they had beautiful intimate, healing moments,

and he opened her up to hearing me even more and feeling me more and deeper,

and from there she found more lovers for me,

and more,

and I felt loved and appreciated, full.

But all stories have some down points, right?

And so does mine.

 

One day Kendal did not listen like she should to me and she disregarded my screaming that we were in a bad situation,

and without notice a male client of hers attacked her in her office and forced himself on her,

and into us.

He had his way and she felt paraylzed in the moment during and directly following. He tossed $600 down on her limp body on the floor and said,

“Thank you for making me feel like a man.”

She wept and hid herself.

Blaming me again,

if I had not taken her down this path,

then perhaps this trauma would not have been,

she should have stayed safe,

but here she was.

And disconnected we were again.

It took her some time,

it took her some convincing from a few wonderful men that loved her deeply,

but she finally came back around and allowed me my voice again.

 

From there we have had many struggles in our communication,

we have made some wrong turns but we have many more right then wrong.

 

She has learned the value of my voice,

and when the old wounds sprout up from nowhere she sees them.

She desires to remain in connection with me,

and together we work at our loving relationship daily.

 

Today, I am happy with my journey.

I am happy with my life.

I feel the disconnect that her and I have,

as does she,

but our desire is the same.

To open and connect me fully back up to her heart where I belong,

so that we each can reap the wonderful rewards of pleasure and juicy intimacy again.

 

There have been so many moments through the years that Kendal and I have shared touching the big toe of God in our sex, feeling the bliss of an emotional orgasm as tears pour from her eye’s and I pulsate and vibrate in rapture, and swallowing up our lover to the depth of the earths core.

 

These moments are what I crave as a p-ssy.

These moments are only possible when I am connected to her heart,

and feel that she loves me and herself fully.

These moments can only occur when she is listening to me and letting guide her to the lovers that are at one with us,

and this is what makes me happy.

 

This is what all p-ssies in the world crave and desire for happiness.

 

Ladies of the world…

are you listening to her?

She has a message for you,

she wants to connect and open your heart.

Your p-ssy is your guidance, your intuition and knowing.

It is time that you reconnect and stop blaming and fearing her.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn more about how you as a woman can tap back into your female GPS and power? To live a life of rapture and truth?  Message me for deet’s on just how to do this.

Posted on

Ignorance Is Not Permission

Most men cannot fathom what sex is like for a woman in any possible fashion.
 
The link between the emotional,
the mental and the physical is not something a man typically can understand to the depths of the feminine.
 
It is truly a rare masculine who obtains this sort of awareness and understanding and then adhears to it.
 
Most men are boys in their sexing,
allowing ignorance to rule thier love making and haphazardly moving forward in it.
 
Unfortunately this style of relating to the feminine only ends in the cause of severe trauma to the female and frustration and shut down to both parties.
 
In sexing it is often assumed that sex is just sex.
And it most certainly can be.
That is why one night stands can be fantastic,
we can walk into a sexual encounter,
being open, playful and wanting to simply have fun and a good orgasm. Typically both parties are very present in these moments and the ego nature of us humans being have us wanting to show what we can do, so we make sure to leave a promising memory with this person to that we feel proud about when they look back at this memory they will still carry a “Wow, that lover was great!” vibe.
 
Unfortunately we don’t bring this same sort of concept into our long term relationships.
 
Here we focus more on what commitment means to us and how we can best get our needs met over all.
Accepting mediocre connection time, intimacy and sex until it wears one or both parties out and empties the relationship of all the glue that was holding it together.
 
The allowance of mediocre sexing and intimacy in our relationships is the succumbing to hopelessness and thus the enabling of blind trauma to occur.
 
How is this possible if both parties seemingly agree to have the mediocre sexing though?
 
A few things are happening:
 
1) Most women do not know how to ask for what they need in sex and have ton’s of shame wrapped up around sex in general, believing that it is mostly for the man and his pleasure as well as a frustration to their own pleasure because it “takes too long” for her to achieve any result.
 
2) Most women will test their men, as the feminine does to see how present the man is and how much he really wants to give to her or how much she means to him so will not communicate what is needed because she wants and needs his penatrative inquiry.
 
3) If a woman has shared her needs and desires with a man, she is now looking for him to make the appropraite calibration and show that he was being present with her in his listening and has a desire to please her.
 
4) If mediocre sexing continues typically a woman will just give up. In her giving up she shuts down her sex even more as well as her heart to her man. Her trust in him has been so far breached from his haphazord pushing forward and ignorant resisance to listening and applying what has been shared that she knows now that he is untrustworthy of holding her heart and love. So even though she may remain with him physically he slowly and often quiet quickly looses her heart forever.
 
5) Men focus on the number of thrusts and the speed they can move in sexing, thinking that changing position every 3 minutes is an ideal, when in fact a woman needs her lover to slow down, focus in on certain spots with attention and care not force and speed. If men were to treat a womans whole body as a sexual organ then he would be able to bring her attention to openning up sexually and ignite her sexual juices
 
6) Men typically get focused on the genitals, especailly their genitals and forget all about the females body. Ignoring what the body reactions are and even block out what the woman is saying during sex whether with her voice or with her hands and body language. This is where he becomes blind to her requests to stay in one place, to keep that rhythm, to give more or less. In the ignoring of what her body and voice are asking for he often without realization ends up either hurting her phsyically or leaving her hanging on the brink of orgasm with no release causing female blue balls and over a time frame sexual shut down which leads to emotional distancing and hormone disturbance.
 
7) Women often tell their man that they would never say no to him sexually. On the front side of a relationship this is stated in playfulness and is meant full heartedly. But the woman is also most likely getting fed orgasm by her man as well. Once the tides turn and she is no longer being cared for sexually, she may adhear to this statement but every time a man assumes that it is okay to just push for sex in this way he is causing physical/emotional and mental trauma to his female partner.
 
8) If your woman is not having real orgasms, not just a few clitorial ones, but real deep G-spot or cervical orgasms blended with the clitorial ones then it is pretty simple to assume that at some point she will start to feel like a masturbation tool for you, and that she does not matter to you as a person or as your woman. Every sexual encounter will turn into a rape trauma for her no matter how great it felt for you as the man. The more this happens, the deeper she will burry herself from you to protect her heart. No amount of flowers, trips, gifts or sweet “I love you’s and you are world to me.” will matter, because the evidence of how much she really matters shows between the sheets in your sexing.
 
So what is the solution?
How can Mr. Fix It – fix it?
 
Listen to your woman.
–>Inquire with the questions that your ego is scared to ask.
 
–>Don’t accept the answer,
“I am fine, we are fine/good.” – “Our sex is good.”
If you think your woman is having an orgasm in sex, question what orgasm really is and what it looks and feels like when you are with her.
 
–>Read my article – 90 Days Without Orgasm https://kendalwilliams.com/90-days-of-no-orgasm-say-what/
and pay attention to the list of 29 things that happen to women when they don’t have reeal orgasm in their life, if your woman has these things or just some of them, do the reeality check with yourself as to what the truth is no matter what she says to save your delicate ego, ( because yes, all of us women believe that men cannot handle the truth in this department and that if we tell them the truth then love will be retracted from us or that our man will become distant or anger, guilt or shame us and that its just better an easier if we go along without sharing the truth.)
 
–> Slow down in the bedroom.
–> Make love to her vulva and breasts first.
–> Always, always, always get permission for sex!
–> Make sure she cums first and if possible multiple times.
–> Be present with her whole body not just what face she is making, her face can lie to you.
–> Listen to her requests and do as directed.
–> Don’t make everything about the sex. You woman needs communication, connection and your time and presence outside of sexing as well.
–> Check your ego FREQUENTLY.
–> Stop accepting average and ordinary sexing in your life and relationship.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Want to learn more about female sexuality and how to achieve deep connective states of being with a woman? Want to learn the secrets of superiour love making and relating? Reach out to me for individual or couples coaching now. It is a perfect time to save your relationship and reignite the passion. I work with people globally.
Posted on

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.
 
Alright gents,
here is a little musing that you need to read if you have a lady love or you ever want to be in a relationship with a woman and keep it sizzeling.
 
Relationships on the front side can be so playful, adventurous, passionate, hot, caring, supportive and can make you feel like the other person “just get’s you.”
 
This is how we start.
In the beginning we are focused on discovery of each other,
we are focused on courting and sharing.
We are facinated by this person that has walked into our lives and we find ourselves being deeply vulnerable and open with them.
 
It’s beautiful.
And we feel like this is love.
 
In fact it is NRE – new relationship energy.
After a period of time however, this NRE starts to dwindle.
It dies down and we start to meet the real person,
which can be nice but it can also shed some light on all that we had not noticed and that we don’t align too as well.
 
On top of that, with the NRE dwindling down so does the sexual chemistry.
 
What was once a hot turned on relationship with ton’s of playful sex and intimacy,
can quickly turn the corner to boring and dull,
effortless friction based sexing.
 
Then unfortunatley,
both parties allow for this to happen,
making excuses along the way for why it is,
 
“Work has been exhuasting.”
“I am just tired all the time.”
“Kids and family.”
“We just can’t find the time to squeeze out anymore.”
 
And with the excuses years pass.
 
As time goes on,
and connective turned on sex becomes less and less of a thing, the bonding chemicals between the couple become depleted. If one partner is still getting orgasm while the other is not (typically this shows up as the man having an orgasm and the woman going months or even years without) then bittnerness and frustration start to form.
 
 
If we look at the typical relationship out there,
what ends up happening is that the sex becomes what is referred to as ABC Sex – Anniversary, Birthday and Christmas. And for some “lucky gents” they get it once or twice a month. Believing that this is just how relationship is to be, that this is couplehood, its normal, its natural.
 
And that the relationship is still doing good.
 
But what they may not understand is the subtle change in personality in their female partner.
 
The once bubbly, playful, connective, confident woman who could light up a room is now sour to life, irritable, moody, depressed, tired, sick and insecure.
 
Again excuses get made.
 
“Its money worries.”
“Its exhaustion over the kids.”
“Its her age.”
“Its this disease that she has.”
“Its her work stress.”
 
And with this sublte personality change your lady love goes from looking at you as her prince charming to viewing you as her keeper, her controller, her boss, her child, an irritation in her life.
 
She is quick to attack,
she is easy to offend,
she is critical and judgemental.
She is tired and frustrated.
She does not want to be touched.
She does not want to play and gets irritated at your play.
She no longer see’s the humor in things.
She burries herself in her work or in the home or a TV show or book.
 
And when she is sexing with you…
she either fakes it or goes limp without much response.
 
But you are happy and you are grateful.
You got yours my sweet prince.
The sex was amazing,
maybe not the best you have had,
but some sort of sex is better then no sex,
and she is such a doll for taking care of you.
 
But with each giving of herself,
she empties her very soul,
she dims her light,
to keep the peace.
As she awaits for her knight to awaken and see that she needs saving.
 
And with each thrust that you provide,
you fall futher and further off your horse.
Your charm is no longer seen,
for the pain of her emptiness is all she can feel.
 
So if you desire to not loose your charm with your lady love,
then take heed to this musing,
and realize that the true knight in shining armor will conconquer the nights of empty sexing by applying his focus to making sure that she cums first and cums a few times,
by not accepting her willingness to just give herself up for your pleasure alone, will not support the trauma of her emotions or body with a lack of depth in presence or orgasm.
 
A true prince charming understands that in order for him to succeed at winning and keeping his ladies heart that he MUST educate himself on the ways of the feminine.
And not deny them or ignore.
 
So if you claim to love your woman,
then take on the mission of filling her up with orgasm.
Deep.
Connective.
Multiple.
Rich.
Orgasm.
 
Will you take on the mission of your woman’s pleasure and joy?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to explore more in depth ways to tap into healing your relationship, accessing a truly beautiful turned on bedroom life and deepen your intimacy? Message me for deets on my couples and indiviual coaching available globally.