IS GOING MONOGAMOUS AFTER BEING POLYOMOUROUS LEVELING UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

👊💥👉IS GOING MONOGAMOUS AFTER BEING POLYOMOUROUS LEVELING UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP?😳👈

 

It’s a personal thing.

Well it should be a personal thing.

 

Recently I saw a status update from a man who was in a polyomourous relationship with a woman and she was in a relationship with another man. She decided that she wanted to “level up ” her relationship with this other man and came to the man I know and shared her decision and reasons. Although he was hurt, he understood and they parted with respect and understanding.

 

Another person recently shared that they had gone through something similar:

 

Can anyone relate? Several love connections have recently decided to monogamously close their new relationships

We’ve stayed in touch, but there’s been no acknowledgment or curiosity of how this transition may affect the feelings of someone who still has active desires. While I believe everyone has the absolute freedom to decide what relationship structure they desire at the moment, I’m having emotions around the lack of attunement or transitional “aftercare”. 😔

 

Now granted this share stirrers a bunch for me and I will be sharing it over the week as we go along but for today I am focusing on the transition from poly to monogamous and why some people feel it is “leveling up” a relationship.

 

As many of you may be aware, I was once upon a time married for almost two decades. It was a monogamous marriage, very traditional, very normal by the standards and we had with it all the typical challenges that come with marriage.

 

I realized over the course of time that I felt trapped. I felt unseen. I felt controlled and like I had to sacrifice pieces of myself to keep the marriage going. I found myself not speaking my truth, hiding my emotions and thoughts around tons of things and it was all eating away at me. I became dead to life, caloused to my heart and feelings, as well as to my sex and a zombie in so many ways.

 

So one day, I decided that things had to change and I asked for a divorce.

 

My purpose was now to discover myself, learn myself, my sex, my body, my likes and dislikes. I felt like I had been living according to what my husband wanted of me and the lack of integrity was ridiculous. So my only focus in finding myself was to remain in integrity at all cost.

 

This concept of radical integrity which I quickly discovered was hard AF!

And scary, it was beautiful beyond measure.

It allowed me a space to do exactly what I wanted.

Learn me.

 

I entered this next phase of my life, dating multiple men, speaking what I wanted, setting boundaries on time, my heart and my sex that I felt good about. I was in control of myself.

 

Giving my best to each partner I chose to share myself with and getting only the aspects of them that they wanted to give, which was of course the best aspects. The fun. The play, the ability to hold space, to listen and share without concern or judgment.

It was beautiful.

 

Or was it?

As time went on, I truly believed that I was most likely not meant for just “one ”. After almost two decades of control and rules that monogamy seemed to impose on couples, I truly believed that it was not healthy or loving. I believed that monogamy was only for small minded, control based relationships where relationships were based in fear, insecurity, need and a desire to control someone else. I counted monogamy as an ego driven style of relating.

 

🙏Open relationships felt more loving and accepting. 🙏

 

It felt safer.

 

I did not have to put all my eggs into one basket.

I did not have to have needs met by one.

And that was a loving thing, to not expect everything from “one.”

 

As time went on, I found myself moving into less open relating and wanting more depth and connection with just a couple of men.

 

Here I landed into a double primary relationship, where I had two men and I was the primary to each of them and they to me.

 

Allowing for my stability in my life.

And for some amount of years we were pretty successful in our poly-based relationship.

 

That was we were successful UNTIL “I” got really stable in who I was, what I wanted, what I liked and did not like and spoke my truth.

 

My one partner was highly upset that  after years of going along with things and being playful and adventurous, I suddenly changed my ways and had harder boundaries in what I wanted and did not enjoy in our sexing. He stated that I did not know myself. Saying that I needed to trust him. You see he was great with me having boundaries around my heart that I had instilled through open relationship where it was vital for me to not get overly attached to anyone and lose myself in them.  But when it came to my boundaries around my sex and body, he was frustrated with me. He wanted to act out his fantasies with my body and he wanted me to want it and trust him in it. Of which I could not because his fantasies were not mine AND he did not penetrate my heart.

 

My other partner, with him I could soften and move into our sexing with ease. I trusted him here. I knew that he wanted for my pleasure and safety not for his fantasy. He had accessed a bit more of my heart and I was wanting to move more into that lush space with him. I wanted to go deeper and commit more. And so I found myself requesting to move to a more monogamous relationship with him.

 

Now granted he chose differently.

He did not want that with me.

He found it with someone else and he set me free.

 

Thank goodness he did too.

Because he gifted me with the best thing ever, my freedom.

Freedom to get very clear on what I really was aligned too and what I really desired in relationship.

 

I had learned so much from all my experiences.

And I knew that what I truly wanted was depth in a relationship.

I knew that I wanted to surrender fully into a relationship and let my heart be held by another.

 

I was tired of the armour that an open relationship had created in its attempt to drop all the armour that had been created in the monogamous marriage of my past.

 

And so fast forward to NOW.

 

👉The relationship that I was not  ready for 25 years ago when I was still married.

 

👉The relationship that I could not have handled just two years ago as I sorted through my feelings, perspectives and views on freedom, commitment and authentic love.

 

👉The relationship that over a decade ago I was not ready for because I believed that immersion was bad and ego based.

 

Today I am monogamous.

And so many people ask me, “WHY?”

 

How can I go from being so open in love, relationship and sex to only having “ONE?”

 

“So in the past you have had non monogamous relationships, but it seems like now you are happy in a monogamous relationship.  So do you think that was because It ultimately wasn’t the right relationship in the past?  Or do you think it was more about where you were in your life and what you wanted at that time vs now?  Or was it more about the partner and what they were comfortable or ok with? Or a combo of all.” – Client inquiry.

 

💥💥💥And to these people and the individuals above who recently went through a transition in their polyomourous loves “leveling up” to monogamy I say this…

 

To some yes, monogamy means all the negative terms I shared and more. It means control and loss of rights. It means that you sacrifice who you are, what you want to explore and who you get to explore with.

 

But when someone is moving from polyamory to monogamy, if they are not being pressured into it but actually want it, it is because they are wanting “more” in their relationship.

 

More:

👉depth

👉commitment

👉transparency

👉trust

👉respect

👉aligned goals

👉connection

👉surrender

👉heart

 

And they have come through the beautiful education of what polyomourous relationships teach and offer and are ready to fully immerse themselves into what they feel is “home.”

 

Why have I come back full force to monogamy?

Simple….

 

💥HE SEE”S ALL OF ME – There is nothing hidden in my relationship. He has witnessed me through a few years in different relationship labels and he has seen my weakness, my fears, my inner battles, my demons. He knows me and he is willing to keep unearthing the parts of me by my side as I go deeper into my soul and heart with him. He continues to choose me, all the while standing strong in who he is and what he needs and wants in our relationship.

 

 

💥WE ARE ALIGNED IN MIND< HEART< SOUL AND BODY – This means that our values are aligned in these areas. We have taken the time not only to delve into each other and truly listen and watch, but to also stand in vulnerability with each other and share. Our lives blend together with ease, not asking either one of us to make massive life changes or be something that we are not. Our views on the world are similar. We live in a dance of joint commitment to relationship happiness and strength instead of who is right or wrong.

 

💥A WHOLE PACKAGE- Not what you might think I mean here. The whole package is all about the alignment and the feeling of “home.” Here is the thing, we may enjoy other destinations when we are world travelers but the feeling of coming home is fantastic if you have a good home. But what if you live in your dream destination and have everything you can ever want for? What if the thought of being a world traveler sounds exhausting and full of drama, even empty? If your home is that spectacular then you just  want to bask in your joy of the home you have and really sink into it. You want to build your life there. This is called full immersion. And it is what the soulmate relationship is all about. I believe that we are all looking for this and we simply don’t believe it’s a real thing because we get led astray and hurt so much that we end up armouring our hearts to it. There is something inside we humans that want the equal yoking and entwinement of the whole being where we become one. This is because we crave at our deepest level to have rock solid trust, love and transparency with another and it can only truly happen when two people commit to each other and make zero room for interruptions, chaos or things that distract.

 

👊I HAD TO WANT AND BE WILLING TO BE HELD LIKE THIS.👊

 

And this is a scary AF place to want to set up camp.

Let me tell you this.

Open relationships allowed for detachment, even encouraged it.

I taught myself that was the most loving thing to do.

 

💥Soul-monogamy💥requires unbelievable trust in surrendering into your mate and removing anything that can be perceived as a barrier. Ultimate transparency and acceptance of self and your partner. The reality is you cannot have soul-monogamy with just anyone. You must be ready for it and you must have the right person show up to meet you in this meadow of the rest of your life. 

 

It is Soul-penetration.

 

Yeah, there is a lot here and I hope that you found something for where you are at in your relationship and style.

There is no right or wrong in relating.

The only thing you ever need to do is find ALIGNMENT for where you are and speak your truth about it.

Your soul and heart are learning, and it is your responsibility to listen to the lessons and have faith in your steps.

 

For me, Soul-monogamy is my true path.

The rules that I was once intolerable of are now my heart’s desire.

I am not controlled by the container that we have built together but instead freed by it to know that I am protected and supported by my choices and my commitment and that my partner is aligned to these as well.

 

Freedom comes with responsibility.

Responsibility is defined by the guidelines that help us to have clarity to know what is needed in any situation or choice to be made.

 

Commit to these things and you will find yourself one day in the arms of your soulmate. 

 

As Always, 

Loving you from here on your journey. 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

WE WOMEN BOND WITH MEN PHYSICALLY.

💥💥🌹WE WOMEN BOND WITH MEN PHYSICALLY💥💥💥

 

Meaning we bond with men through physical connection.

Sex! and Touch.

 

You have sex with a guy and have an orgasm and you my beautiful are bonding to him.

 

The hormone oxytocin releases which is 👉THE BONDING CHEMICAL!👈

 

Rose tinted glasses are put on and you start to see him as something yummy, and relationship potential.

 

But the issue is that…

 

👉MEN DON’T BOND THROUGH SEX!😳😳😳

 

They want sex, they love sex, but they don’t fall in love and bond through sex.

 

They don’t feel compelled to get all up in their “feelings” because they had some damn good sex with you.

 

And it really just breaks down to basic primal natures here.

Men are created to sow their seed, women to nurture the seed.

 

(*I want to say that I am speaking generalized, of course exceptions apply to this basic human rule and the points I aim to make today are not just toward just women but also men, as they are all about development of the self to create a sustaining happy and healthy relationship with a partner.)

 

Now back to the meat and potatoes of sex, bonding and what ATTRACTS A HIGH VALUE MAN.

 

Let’s first define a high value man.

 

High value (man or women) AKA what society wants us to believe is woke, conscious, divine, spiritual, etc… whatever hootie- tootie popular labels you want to give it which are NOT (sorry, not sorry, just saying and you will see why.) EQUALS or is defined as…

 

👊Emotionally and physically Grown Up!👊

 

Of which the majority of both sexes are not.

 

To be emotionally and physically grown up you are emotionally mature, not meaning caught in your emotions, or overly emotional expressive or led by them, but that you can process them, understand them, look for understanding, compassion, love, empathy and can stand behind your words and values.

 

Being physically grown up means that you are RESPONSIBLE.

You can pay your bills, you take care of your stuff in all areas of life, you don’t have a bunch of chaos and baggage in your life, you are not in victim mode, you are self aware. PLUS…

You are sexually responsible for self and respect boundaries and needs. Such as birth control, safe sex methods, emotional/mental sexual boundaries and do not impose fantasies or past items onto your partner.

 

YOU GET THAT SEX IS NOT JUST PHYSICAL BUT ALSO MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL.

 

And you are human enough to care about the person that you are sleeping with.

 

💥MEN DON’T TYPICALLY BOND THROUGH SEX.💥

 

Meaning they don’t get as attached as women do in sex.

 

Men attach/bond through experiences,

through social activities with their woman,

hobbies, mutual interests, adventures.

 

👉By doing things together.👈

 

Because men are ACTION oriented.

They want to see a woman in action,

see how she deals with things.

What her responses are.

Where she loses her cool.

Her sense of humor, adventure, common grounds with them.

 

Can he drop into his masculine fully with her and trust her?

A man that is in victor consciousness NOT victim consciousness wants a woman he can trust.

 

IF HE IS LOOKING FOR COMMITMENT AND LOVE.

Partnership.

Relationship.

He wants foundation and direction.

 

 

👉What we have in today’s world is a bunch of talk and little to no action in our dating and relating.

 

Outside of some casual hook ups, which both parties enter fully armoured up emotionally and thus physically too. Providing limited pleasure or trust in any area.

 

And we attempt to build lasting relationships on THIS.

 

All that phone chatting,

that texting,

That face timing we women believe is connection and relationship building….

 

WELL IT’S NOT to a man.

 

We think we can build a deep, passionate, connective, emotional connection with  man and he will want to do life with us and take us seriously even if he is a thousand miles away and we only see him once a month.

 

Or he lives not that far away but we only see him one date night a week.

 

These sort of relating ideas keep separation and do not instill a desire from the man long term.

 

That is why so many women wonder,

 

“What happened?”

 

When the man they have been dating for so long all of a sudden ghosts them, disappears, or says that he wants to talk.

 

We women think,

“He must be a commitment phobe or emotionally unavailable.”

 

We hear all day long about those things.

👉👉👊The “wounded masculine.”😳😂🧐

 

 

Well, here is the thing…

 

It’s not about the wounded masculine, although that is a thing…

Most men however are actually just following their design code here and losing interest in you because they are NOT emotionally bonded with you the way that you are with them.

 

💥💥IT IS THAT SIMPLE.💥💥

 

Much like men.

Men are simple creatures.

Yes they are complex.

Yes they  have deep feelings.

Yes they are so many brilliant things.

 

But men, men are simple.

And when it comes to a man bonding to a woman,

opening his heart to her.

That means that he feels like he can TRUST her.

 

And an emotionally mature man, wants these things from a woman in order to that:

 

👊💥👉TRANSPARENCY – Its a popular word for today. Everyone talks about it but hardly anyone understands it, especially in relationship terms with an intimate partner. And if they do understand it at all, even one tenth then they may feel a bit of upset stomach… because transparency in relationship means this: If it is material to the relationship, meaning it may effect you or I, then it needs to be spoken, shared, etc.😳 And often we feel this is an embreaching on our personal boundaries and rights in relationship and that another person has no right to ask things of us or to know unless we are very committed. However, an emotionally mature person will want this from someone earlier on before they buy all the way into the relationship and commit. They will not have trust in you without it. ( men and women alike)

 

👊💥👉EMPATHY- Another hot word of our day and age. But empathy is more than just feeling someone else’s feelings, it’s also caring about their feelings. Women typically have bank accounts full of empathy when they are getting into a man,  so much so that many women become door mats to men and all they care about is how he feels.  THIS IS NOT ATTRACTIVE nor does it instill trust in your guy. He has had plenty of dealings most likely with women like you on this and he knows that it leads to blow up where the truth will come out. He does not want this! If he is truly a grown up man, he will want your truth in the moment and he will want to deal with it right there. Here comes your transparency… Other women get caught up in the contrast between their personal feelings and their guy’s feelings and they may become very entitled with their feelings, not caring about the man’s. This is because they may be bitter and resentful because of past situations and the fear and pain they still carry and have not worked through yet. This too, is NOT ATTRACTIVE or safe for the man. What a grown up man, a high value man is wanting and attracted to, what he can lean in and trust and commit to is him and his woman coming together and genuinely caring about each other’s feelings. That they both want to know where and how the other is.

 

👊💥👉YOU TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY – A high value man does not want a woman who is jaded, bitter, resentful and blaming men for where she is at in life. Just like you would not want that from him, he feels the same. And if someone is always complaining and not able to take responsibility for their part in past relationship failure and challenges, even if their partner ghosted, cheated, or abused them then they are still stuck in their wound and playing the victim. Taking responsibility for your actions, your choices and what is happening in your life is sexy and attractive.

 

👊💥👉YOU ARE A HEALTHY FIGHTER-  A grown A*s man understands that conflict will happen in intimate relationships. He knows that couples fight, but he wants to know that he can trust you even here to come from love and rock solidness with a desire to do what is right and best for the partnership not just YOU. He does not aim to be right and he will not be attracted to a woman whose mission is to prove that she is right and he is wrong.

 

👉Healthy fighting, especially in intimate relationships is about looking for happiness over rightness. 👈

 

This means that when friction comes up, you are willing to listen to your partner, be present, communicate back to them what you heard, receive any adjustments they may have, and ACCEPT that their viewpoint is true for them.

 

Then to offer your truth, being your viewpoint to them and explain anything in ease and understanding that they may have not fully grasped.

 

Then to come to a realistic agreement about the disagreement.

 

This is healthy conflict communication.

It is not about being right but standing in empathy and compassion with a desire to find happiness for both instead of rightness for one.

 

 

💥💥💥Last but not least…💥💥💥

 

 

👊💥👉YOU HAVE STANDARDS-  This means that your actions match your values. Yes YOUR ACTIONS!

Remember that men are action oriented and they need to see that they can trust you in different situations in life, physically, mentally, emotionally to have the standards of backing your values.

Your words ‘should’ just be a bi-product of your values.

Your actions need to line up to what you say you value.

If you say you value honesty, but you cannot be honest about where you want to go, what you need from him and then swallow your words around that and expect him to read your mind and get it right, only to bite his head off months later about it, then guess what… your actions DO NOT MATCH YOUR SAID VALUE.

 

It’s that simple.

If you wonder if you guy is a grown up, if he is a high value man, then this one thing is a vital key to finding out.

A “wounded masculine” or emotionally immature man will not want you to have standards. And he certainly will not like you supporting your standards/values with your actions and words.

 

 

👊👊👊BOTTOM LINE👊👊👊

 

MEN CAN GIVE THEIR BODIES AWAY FAR EASIER THAN WOMEN, BUT IT TAKES A LOT MORE SECURITY AND TRUST FOR THEM TO GIVE THEIR EMOTIONAL SIDE AND HEART.🥰

 

The whole package an emotionally and physically mature man is looking for starts with these elements in a woman, NOT being a freak in bed… not being his therapist on the phone for hours on end…not being his maid and cook… and not being his coach on the field of life.

 

As great as all of those things are and can be,

They have a time and place.

True partnership and commitment is based in trust.

 

👉👊😳All of these points I share here are a two way street ladies and gents. Gentlemen, a high value woman wants all the same from YOU!!!!

 

 

Ready to stop settling for less in love and commitment?

Want to call in that high value relationship that is actually a life long partnership?

Wanting your soulmate?

 

That’s what I specialize in, helping dynamic souls like you find love and happiness in a world that seems hopeless most days.

 

As Always,

Loving You From Here.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

“ON THE MARKET” TILL YOU PUT A RING ON MY FINGER.

💍”ON THE MARKET” TILL YOU PUT A RING ON MY FINGER.

 

So some say.

How do you feel about this?

Would love to hear all the comments on this topic.

 

Recently I was privy to a conversation around “what defines couplehood?” And to my surprise (and yet not) so many men and women alike focused on the legal aspects of what makes you  a couple.

 

Making statements such as,

“How do you file your taxes? There you have your answer if you are single or a couple.”

 

“According to legal paperwork you have to fill out, ‘dating’ or ‘engaged’ is not an option for selection, so you are single unless married.”

 

“If someone passes away and you are not married then you are just considered friends no matter the time you have no rights, so you are single unless married.”

 

And so many more statements along these lines.

 

True as these statements are when looking at couplehood from a legal aspect, the question is not one of legalities unless you only value the legal and not the heart.

 

🌹💍🌹 SO WHAT DEFINES COUPLEHOOD?🌹💍🌹

 

Is it monogamy?

Exclusivity?

What about those couples who are in an open relationship? Swingers? Poly?

Are they not couples because they have agreed upon multiple partners?

 

Is it the legal aspect, a ring, an “I DO.” and a contract that binds?

What about those who are living together but have not crossed that line yet, are engaged? Or maybe don’t believe in marriage but believe in love and commitment?

 

👉🤯DO YOU CONTINUE TO SHOP FOR THE BEST MATE UNTIL A RING AND CONTRACT ARE DRAWN UP? -NO MATTER THE LIVING ARRANGEMENT, THE SPOKEN COMMITMENT, THE PLANNING?

 

And how does this equate to love and commitment?

 

Would you want to marry someone who is still shopping for the better choice even though they tell you they are in love with you?

 

Here is what one woman said, and I quote:

“Until you’re married you are single 👌

Now you may be courting, dating or in a committed relationship,

but you’re still “on the market” until you’re no longer available.”

 

Last time I looked at this thread 44 people agreed and loved this woman’s sentiment.

And maybe you are one of them.

 

I cannot help it, as polarizing as it may be to some, I strongly disagree.

 

This statement says – ” I AM NOT COMMITTED NOR IN LOVE.”

 

IF YOU WANT:

👊Commitment

👊Trust

👊Rock Solid

👊The ability to surrender to love.

 

Then baby you gotta give up the market.

 

If you count yourself “still available until paperwork and a ring” you will NEVER find the above list of vital ingredients to a strong, stable, loving relationship.

 

You will NEVER feel loved nor safe.

 

👉Because you CANNOT trust someone who is always looking for something better.👈👈👈

 

The issue with this statement is that love, one’s heart and soul, true soul connection is being ignored in the pursuit for the shiniest new object that can fill the greatest amount of earthly needs.

 

THIS LEAVES WHOMEVER YOU ARE WITH FEELING REPLACEABLE.🤯

 

Uncertainty is the foundation to lack of trust.

Which translates to lack of respect.

And no desire to open the heart.

 

This way of viewing love (if you can even call it that) is based in need alone.

 

And in my opinion after working with thousands of individuals and couples over the last almost two decades I can tell you honestly THIS is the cause of so much pain and suffering.

 

More often than not, couples come to me because they discover that they never loved their partner fully. They never felt fully aligned, or matched to them.

 

However, their partner had the money, the house, the romance, the looks, the stamina, the intelligence, was a ‘great’ guy or sweet woman… blah… blah…blah…

 

And then they find themselves one day on a trip with friends, having a few too many drinks and having an affair with the resort tennis instructor from Italy because he is the shiny new object that rocks their boat and makes them feel alive.

 

And after all, they are not married.

So they owe nothing to the person at home.

Forget the last however many years…

Forget the lifelong plans…

The goals and dreams supposedly shared.

 

OR…

 

Maybe they are married.

And, “Oops, I slipped, it won’t happen again. I drank too much.”

 

I can tell you this, no matter the agreements what defines couplehood is COMMITMENT, TRUST, TRANSPARENCY.

 

And above all else LOVE.

 

And when you are really  in love with someone,

you have zero desire to dilute that  love with outside influences.

You see the beauty in the mirror of your partner.

You respect them, honor them, appreciate them and realize that communication, authenticity and a desire to make your relationship rock solid is priority.

 

YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING BETTER.

 

💍Ring or no ring…

It Doesn’t matter.

 

Although it may to those in your life.

 

🤯Perhaps your family and friends will not honor, respect or see the relationship as committed UNLESS there is a ring and a contract signed?

 

🤯Perhaps you will find yourself always fighting off the wolves who want to test your commitment until they see that there is a “REAL” boundary there?

 

All that matters however, is how you define couplehood.

How do you view love?

Commitment?

What are your values around relationships?

 

If you are with someone and still looking for something better, but holding onto them because “something is better than nothing” then at very least BE REAL with the one you are with and tell them that this is how you feel.

 

Give them the option to hang with you while you explore or to find someone who will want them for them and match their needs/wants/desires in a relationship that’s aligned to their soul.

 

👊👊CAUSE BABY, IT AIN’T TRUE LOVE NOR YOUR SOULMATE CONNECTION IF YOU ARE STILL OPEN TO THE MARKET.👊👊

 

And I share that from personal experience. 🙄

 

👉Ready to get real and call in that soulmate love that makes you want for no other?

 

👉Sick and tired of feeling like love is fleeting and something that is not possible to hold on to?

 

👉Looking for the one who makes your heart and soul soar but uncertain how to identify if he/she is the one?

 

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

 

As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO WAKE UP IN LOVE?

 

It’s every girl’s dream right?

To wake up wrapped in the one’s arms that you just cannot get enough of. 

That you find yourself just wanting to go deeper with, reveal all of yourself too. 

 

This morning I rolled into my man’s arms and put my head on his chest, smiled, took a deep breath and just relaxed into him. 

 

His presence of being, in his heart and how stable he is puts all my concerns and fears at bay. 

His strength in who he is and in life, even in the chaos brings me peace and direction. 

His smiling eye’s ignite my soul in love. 

His warmth and touch, leads me into greater surrender. 

His inquisitive nature confirms his desire to know me more and to see me in all my radiance. 

 

So what allows me to lean into him?

To open myself up at these levels of not just my physical, sexual being but also to want to merge with him emotionally? Mentally? In confidence of all that is me?

 

How can a woman who has been through divorce, physical assault, rape and more trust the masculine with all her depths?

 

Over and over again, I hear women share how they love their husbands and boyfriends. That they believe that he is “the one.” However, then they speak of not being able to really be themselves. They hide. They mask. They fake it. They say that their orgasm is great, but that they have to use a vibrator to achieve it or that only through oral they gain it.  They tell me how they could never say the truth of their fears and body image to their partner. They speak about how they cannot imagine ever being with anyone else but then say how he does not hear her, see her, understand. 

 

She loves him, but he does not know how to touch her.

Not physically or sexually. 

Not menatlly or emotionally. 

Not spiritually. 

 

He does not harbor a safe home for her. 

So what makes a woman feel safe? 

So safe with her man that she drops her armour and speaks her truth?

That she trusts that he will catch her without doubt?

 

Women want to feel: 

*Sexy

*Unique

*Safe

And her walls only come down when she feels all three of these. 

In today’s relationships, women may feel sexy at times. 

Often they feel more like they must be sexy to get what they want, or that it is only their sex that will attract and commit a partner. 

They do not truly feel sexy however, in their own skin because our culture has trained us that we are never enough and in the same too much. We women compare ourselves to all the things that the world deems beautiful, strong and desirable and often find ourselves falling short in more than one area. 

 

Our uniqueness is overlooked by all including ourselves and so we have reached a space in time and society evolution where we are working hard to make uniqueness about being like everyone else. There are no more winners and losers, no more acceptance that we are not all created equal. In our pursuit to have fairness and kindness, acceptance for all, we have also lost the gift of uniqueness. We see this even in our intimate relationships, where people no longer want to “claim each other” because we have decided that marriage and commitment equal control and limiting each other. But what we are actually saying is, “ I can take you or leave you, no wow factor here, nothing special or unique.”

Both men and women at our core want to be desired and not just for our sex, but for who we are as individuals. We want our partners to desire our essence and love us fully. Accept us as we are and see our radiance. Yet this radiance can only truly be seen if we embrace our uniqueness and stop making it unkind to know that we are different and not created equal. 

 

Safety is primary to the femine to be able to drop down and trust in life, in her relationship, in her sexing, in her emotions and all that we do. Yet, there is limited safety when we are attempting to be and do everything without the support of anyone else, especially a partner. There is zero safety in today’s world as we overload ourselves with surpressnets and hormone `balancers” so that we can mask our truth and not address the true nature of any problem. As long as we continue to not trust our intuition, our critical thinking or what we are witnessing in our manifestation nor take responsibility for the lives that we are creating, we will not feel safe. Safety from the masculine comes secondary to how we women trust ourselves. 

We can not trust the man that we are with if we do not trust our judgements and feelings. If we do not truly know who we are and what our boundaries and non-negotiables are. If we can speak up and let our vulnerability be heard.

 

To wake up in love, means that we are waking up in love with the lives that we have manifested. 

Owning who we are as women. 

 

To wake up in gratitude of being wrapped in the arms of our partner, who supports us, cherishes us, respects us and loves us fully just for being us, means that we have trusted the power of our manifestation to call in the sort of masculine who knows himself too at this level and is worthy of our trust, respect and heart. 

 

This man will on;y come to us when we find this space inside of ourselves. 

When we have learned to love all of our shadows and no longer stand in victimhood, but in queenhood. 

 

This is how we find our true soulmate.

This Is how we fall in love with life. 

Every moment of it, even the cloudy days.

This Is how we wake up in love every day.

 

It requires your heart and desire to take the steps inward and go on the great’s adventure of your life though. 

It requires you to want that love more than anything else. 

It requires you to have the courage to meet the person that you have been searching for all these years…

It requires you to find you. 

 

Are you ready my love?

Walk with me. 

Let’s adventure together and discover you.

Beautiful, magical, powerful, sexy, unique, full of appreciation, trust and creativity. 

YOU.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN CRAVE YOU FOREVER + COMMIT.

 

HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN CRAVE YOU FOREVER + COMMIT.

 

My man makes me juicy hot without even trying, but it’s not him. It’s what I do to him to get him to crave me in such a powerful way. 

 

I love when my partner looks at me with a smile of appreciation and desire in his eye. 

The look in his eyes and on his face ignites my soul and makes me feel like a queen. 

His queen. Like the only woman on the planet.

 

I love when my guy walks up from behind me and grabs ahold of my waist, pulls my hair back and kisses my neck. When he breathes me in.

 

I love when he loses his presence in what I am saying or his work because he got caught up in my radiance and his heart and he can do nothing but sit in awe.

 

I love that he messages me how he misses me. 

Did not want to leave for the day.

How he desires forever.

I love how he takes me fiercely in our lovemaking, how he leads in passion and asks for my surrender through him.

 

And I am reminded by all of this and more that when we have found the right person they will meet us and mirror us and when they are not the right partner we will feel used, off balance in some way. 

 

That feeling of coming home. 

Men and women alike crave just that. 

Completion. 

A homecoming that our soul knows can only truly be accomplished in the union with a true partner for our lives. That one that we cannot see past. That we want to make plans for thousands of years because we cannot ever seem to get enough of them.

 

But what stirs the creation of this craving?

What creates a foundation of a feeling of “home” that makes a man want to go deep and commit?

 

I am sure you have heard of the four A’s when it comes to human personality and needs in a relationship, these four A’s however for men are all the more important. 

 

How the A’s Make Your Man Crave and Commit to You: 

 

Attention – This one might seem needy to the modern woman, because we are not attracted to anyone who demands a ton of attention in our busy lives. Who wants to be the center stage character in ALL aspects of our lives. After all we are mothers, boss babes, mompreneurs, sisters, daughters, and besties. We have our obligations to so many, so we want support in our intimate relationship from a strong man who can take care of himself. He needs us, yes, but he doesn’t want us to coddle him.  What I refer to by the word attention doesn’t refer to this emotionally immature man though, I am saying that attention means to be present. Your presence in the relationship is worth gold. When you are together with your man, from the earliest dating moments, give him your undivided attention. Not your phone. Not the world around you. Stay present there with him in your thoughts. Realize that all the men of your past often travel with you into your new relationships, all those that have ever let you down and scorned you are yelling in your ear while you are on this date, in this moment with this great guy. Your fears and concerns, your hopes and desires are all there wanting their time on your mental and emotional stage. To be present with a man means to stay THERE IN THE CURRENT MOMENT with him and him alone. Most people are rarely present because they are worried about past or concerned about the future, add in a social media ding and you my beauty are not present.  – Such a turn off!!!!

 

Affection – Yes human touch! We need conscious (present) touch at least six times a day for mental health. The majority of us don’t get this. We get and give touch, but we don’t actually experience positive touch. Wanted. On both sides. There is a lot of assumed touch. And this armours us up. Men and women alike, making it where we believe that we don’t like it or need it, however even the most resistant man desires affection. A present small gesture can mean the world. I know for me and my relationship, I am always aware as to how my body is turned. Am I turned to my man or not? Is my body language open or closed to him? If I am too far away or something is in the way of our closeness, I move it or myself to get closer. I reach out and touch my man’s foot with mine. My knee to his leg. I grab ahold of his arm with my hand and I firmly let him know that I am there, that I want him in my touch. My touch is far more in your face these days than when we were just starting out, but even back then I looked for opportunities to touch him. And when we hug and kiss, just hold each other (past and present) I take a breath and slow down. I get presents with him when we are coming together. I want him to feel me and I desire to feel him.

 

Appreciation – I have worked with possibly thousands of men at this point in my career and the one thing that so many divorced men have shared with me or men who were in a serious committed relationship in some fashion shared with me about their major disappointments, were centered around the feeling that all their efforts in the relationship and with their woman were not seen or appreciated. They consistently felt like yeah she may have said, “thank you,” but it was mute to what was needed. Appreciation, gratitude for someone thinking about the little things, for wanting to make life better, for working their a*s off, and so much more. One of the things I do with couples frequently is an Appreciation Game where I have each partner share appreciation for a set time frame and the other partner just sits in silence and receives. Take it in. Such a simple exercise, yet we hardly stop in our busy lives to appreciate each other. We think things but we do not communicate them. Taking a moment here and there to acknowledge the good of our partners is a game changer. We take the time all too frequently to tell them what is wrong with them, their errors and our complaints and we believe that our complaining will get us the results we desire, when in truth, if we focus on the good we will encourage more of what we want. It’s all energy baby! Where attention goes, energy flows. 

 

Acceptance – THIS ONE I cannot share enough with all the beautiful ladies in the house. We women really suck at this and we should not. We should get this because what do we women want? To be accepted. We want to be really seen, heard and appreciated for just who we are, not for what we do for someone or how they want us to be. Yet, over and over again we ladies get into commitment with a guy based on the man that we see he can become not who he is. Men want for us women to never change, they fall in love with who we are RIGHT NOW and sometimes that can be unreasonable because life enforces change, it is the one true constant, but if we get into relationship wanting our partner to be something that they are not, then we are saying,” I don’t appreciate who you are, love who you are, accept you as you are. You are not enough as you are but I will settle with the hope that you will become what I want.” – YUCK! Let me just gag myself right now. Granted I have been guilty of this, if I look at my partner today and truly though that I wanted him to be anything other than who he is, I would only be damning my relationship. I would be looking past him to create something else instead of looking at him with a heart full of amazement in how lucky I am, how grateful I am for him being the man that he is RIGHT NOW! I want nothing more, although as our lives evolve and we build our future together we each will change, this is certain. Our growth can only be together though if we each love each other in all our faults and beauty as we are fully in the now, not hoping for change but receiving each other as is. This one thing means the universe to most men. Acceptance. Men in general do not feel accepted in life. Our societal evolution has stolen from the masculine a right of passage, what being a man IS. Our males are lost in our world because they are condemned by their natural primal nature and desires and told that they are not healthy nor good and they have not been provided leadership as to what an emotionally mature man is like. When we queens look at our men with total acceptance and tell them how we see them, feel them and appreciate them, their armoured masculine hearts melt into love.

 

There are many things that make a man crave a woman and want to commit to her. 

These four A’s are paramount however. 

The other major contributing factors to get a man to crave and commit would be: 

 

Respect – The lack of respect is what makes the majority of relationships fall apart and not be able to go the distance. Often things from our past or our current create a disrespect. The only way that we can establish respect when it is not there in some area is to address it head on. If our partner is doing something that hinders our ability to respect them fully then we MUST come out to them about it and request for a behaviour change and share what is coming up for us around it. Remember that each individual in the relationship has a right to ask for what they need in the relationship, once requested it is up to the other as to what they will do with the request and how to best serve themselves and the relationship. No matter what the response is we then are given the option to either accept our partner’s choice or to walk away. If the behaviour change that we are asking to be shifted is non-negotiable to us then we have to understand that and do what is right for us. Thus right for the relationship. The only way we can ever respect another is to first respect ourselves, our boundaries and our needs. 

Emotional Maturity – I have been preaching a lot about this lately because it is vitality important and the reality is that the majority of men and women alike lack emotional maturity. Being an adult in our relationships and in life is sexy AF! In order to become it one must apply daily focus on self-growth, love and evolution. Wanting to take responsibility for their own feelings, emotions, actions and life and understanding how powerful that truly is. 

 

Variety – Can you imagine eating at the same restaurant every day, three times a day for the rest of your life? That sounds like a miserable hamster wheel in my opinion and life gives us enough of the hamster wheel in itself between work, responsibilities, family and such. What we are looking for in partnership and relationship is a feeling of certainty, trust, “home” but also blended nicely with uncertainty. Men love a woman who is willing to invest herself into the relationship and help create variety. This translates to being playful, flirty, and spontaneous. Be willing and wanting to explore new things together both inside and outside the bedroom, even take it upon yourself to initiate something new or set up an adventure date. Don’t always demand that he lead on everything. Men are attracted and appreciative to our creativity and forwardness as well. 

 

Sovereignty – As much as he wants to be your knight in shining armour and save you… he also wants to know that you can carry yourself and have his back all in the same. He adores, respects and craves the woman who takes responsibility for her own happiness, emotions and life but chooses to have him by her side and  build a life together. The right man does not want you to give your power away to him but wants to lift you up so you can fly higher. An emotionally mature man knows that this means that you do not need him to feel worthy, loved or happy and he does not need you for that either. Two complet and strong individuals who have chosen to unite and become stronger in their home with each other. – Now that’s hawt AF!

 

Exude Radiance – Yesterday I was having a  crappy day. I felt pathetic and useless. I did not feel radiant and strong, yet my partner grabbed me in one moment, looked at with his tender loving penetrative look and smiled. I asked what he was smiling at and he responded, “ You are glowing. Even though you are not happy today, you are still glowing.” Radiance is in our energy. It encompasses all of our being and it even shines through on gloomy days. A woman who is truly radiant is so because even on bad days she is aligned to her soul. She accepts and loves herself and knows that all of her and her emotions are perfect. Her heart leads her and her man can see this in her actual energy. Her eyes, smile, hair, walk, the way she moves and breathes. This ignites him at a deep primal level and makes him want her all the more.So stop letting your energy be benign and bland.  REALITY most women don’t radiate, they mask and attempt to create fake shine.

 

Getting a man to crave you and commit truly just means that you have come fully into who you are and aligned to your soul. You trust your heart. You receive yourself in all your messiness and glory. And you are not afraid to say no to any relationship that does not match who you are at your core just to settle for not being alone. 

 

That soulmate man of yours beautiful, he is looking for all the same that you are and if you want him to find you and reveal himself then it is up to you to do the same for yourself first.

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Existing

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful women like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

UNICORN & SNOWFLAKE MEN – WHAT WOMEN THEY WANT, BUT WON’T RESPECT.

 

UNICORN & SNOWFLAKE MEN – WHAT WOMEN THINK THEY WANT, BUT WON’T RESPECT.

 

And that is what it all comes down to. 

RESPECT.

Maybe I am a bad, bad, girl who just is not consciousness enough or done as deep of a dive as I need into my own inner work to be able to respect, surrender and thus really unite in love with one of these sacred space holding, cacao ceremony, “spiritual” dudes who is what we can call the modern gentlemen. 

The nice guy. 

The guy that “respects” (by kissing her booty and letting her be the man) a woman and let’s her be powerful because he knows that we are all equal. 

 

Lordy, let’s just f-cking get real here. 

Ladies and unicorn snowflake, woke divine masculine men….

WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL!

 

Women are powerful. 

And should be accepted as such. 

But men are powerful too…

And should be accepted as such. 

However, we are powerful in different ways.

Think ying/yang.

 

Today’s world is emasculating men.

 

And men are not happy or healthy because of this depolarization. 

Women are far from happy and emotionally drained because of it. 

 

Yesterday I wrote some on this topic, focused on how we women want a sensitive man but only sensitive to what we want him to be. This epidemic of conscious, woke, divine real men that is turning our men into something that we women cannot respect nor trust. Which stirred quite the convo between my man and I.  This morning while brushing our teeth and getting ready for the day he looks at me and says, “You know I just recently learned that women like you want a masculine man. I have looked at what I see as a strong woman and been frustrated. Believing that a strong, conscious woman who knows herself appears to want one of these unicorn “woke” men who always smiles, has the right things to say and keeps his masculine primal at bay. I can do the yoga. I can meditate. I can do my own inner work. I can be conscious. But I cannot put down my primal instinct and I did not believe that I could be my primal self and have my warrior queen, too.”

 

Linda Liv Doktar, I guess was in the same mood as myself yesterday, because my guy then asked me, “did you see what Linda posted?”

 

Nope, I was caught up with my private clients yesterday and some self-care things, plus rushing back to my man. 

Well, I read Linda’s post and I was laughing while saying, “Yes! – Yes! -Yes!”

A woman who desires a primal man. 

Gets what is required for us powerful warrior queens who are always turned on, activated in life, hustling in our self-made success stories and keeping harmony and balance to our full and thriving lives. That sort of woman cannot hang with the blokes who want to kiss our a*ses. 

 

My sun rises and sets in my man’s hands because he is not afraid to man-handle me. 

Meaning he knows how to stand in my fire. 

He knows how to lead me. 

He is not fearful of me. 

He let’s me feel him fully in his energy, his thoughts, his feelings. 

And of course in the bedroom.

He does not hide his primal, protective, fierce nature from me. 

ANYWHERE.

And that makes me weak in the knees. 

Much like Linda said in her share, “I want to be dominated and told what to do.” 

Matter a fact, I need that for my own well-being and ability to surrender my deepest self to life and to my man. A woman simply cannot surrender her deepest self however to a man that is wishy washy, wearing the best societal mask of the moment and trying to say all the “right” things. I need to know that I can trust my man to be honest with me. 

I need to see that he is not afraid to take initiative and set a direction. 

I need to know that he trusts his own words and actions. 

And I require a man who knows how to dominate me in his love, protection, primal energy and leadership. 

 

So he better f-cking know who he is and where he is going in life. 

Or I will not follow. 

I will not respect. 

I will not trust.

And he will not hold my heart. 

 

I have been in all too many relationships with these men who are “woke” who are “sensitive to the feminine” and that’s as far as they made it with me. 

 

Some sort of relationship. 

I also felt the need to set them in their place about the reality that they would NEVER have a partnership with me.

 

I knew from the first moments that I could not respect them to the level required for me to become their life partner and give myself over to them. I could not trust their “sweet” ways to hold me safe and lead with certainty. I knew I could drop them to their knees with my own dominance and make them crumble if I wanted. 

 

That’s not leadership. 

And you know what?

In studies it has been shown that 74% of men would rather be alone in their lives instead of feeling disrespected. 

 

This is because to a man, a primal man who is on purpose and is not fearful of his own energy or his woman, he views respect and love as equal. They are the same and you cannot have one without the other. 

 

THIS is why men are so powerfully attracted to some women, will do anything for these women, and commit to her fully. When a woman knows how to trigger feelings of respect and admiration in her man, he will surrender his heart to her.

 

So many women however, have no clue how to make use of the principle of respect to create this unfair advantage in making themselves irresistibly attractive and commitment worthy to the right men.

 

Thus creating the space for repetitive heartbreak and suffering when it comes to love. 

Now I could go on and on about this topic, and most likely will keep writing on it over time, but for today let me be very clear with you lovies….

 

If you are a woman who wants to feel safe in her relationship. 

Wants to stop questioning if her guy is really into her or if he loves you.

Wants to know that he wants and will commit to you.

Wants to rope the moon for you as well as ravish you in every way you desire. 

And wants to stop your fear of when he will leave…

 

Then hear me now…

 

Get the consulting needed on the fine art of respect. 

Through respect we women can seduce, open and commit the right man to us. 

He will not be the man that is depolarized to be more feminine than masculine. 

You will have to actually want his masculine and see how you as a strong woman who is always taking care of business needs his strength to get you out of your head and fully embodied into who you are in heart, soul and sex. But once you get a taste of the yumminess of what this primal masculine does for you and how he supports with his rock solid love, respect and honor of not just you, but himself and the partnership you will scratch your head in bewilderment of why you chose to spend all those years ditzing around with men who have no clue how to lead the feminine. 

 

And are not worthy of your warrior queen heart and soul. 

 

Want to learn the secrets of becoming a seductress through learning the art of respect with a primal man?

 

Are you tired of thinking your relationship with a guy is going really great only to have him grow cold and distant overnight and ghost you?

 

Tired of the endless cycle of heartbreak and questioning why you cannot find a man who is trustworthy and committed?

 

That’s what I helped countless beautiful women such as yourself do over the last almost two decades. Find their soulmate!

And it’s now your time, don’t you agree?

Reach out to me in comments or private message now about my 6-weeks to Soulmate Love Private Mentoring Summer 2021 Sesh and get $500 off with code word RESPECT.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

COVETING YOUR SEX AND YOUR MONEY, WHICH ARE YOU GUILTY OF?

COVETING YOUR SEX AND YOUR MONEY, WHICH ARE YOU GUILTY OF?

 

Recently I was speaking with a fellow educator, author and public speaker on this matter and he brought up this very question of what we choose to covet more. As I thought about his inquiry, I realized that if I look at my track record and what I am far easier about letting someone be intimate with, to share that I would have to say that it is my body. Thus my sex. 

 

Matter a fact, just this week my life partner and I were speaking about finances, making some large purchases, potentially starting a new business line, how we each foresee the future of our combining money and how we are going to handle financial responsibilities in our partnership. As he asked me my take on these things, I found myself with sweaty palms, a nervous gut, my heart rate increasing and feeling unsafe in some measure. 

 

I realized that I was feeling very vulnerable around money. 

And that I had not shared a bank account with a man, nor major financial items for over a decade. My reasoning was that I had felt burned in my marriage many years back by sharing and I wanted to protect myself, that fear that was activated way back then was supported in a follow up close relationship of sharing almost everything, and had I allowed the merging of finances then, I would have been financially destroyed at the end of that relationship as well. 

 

So here I sat, with this conversation before me around finances. 

And I wanted to run. 

I wanted to hide. 

But I wanted to commit myself as well. 

 

When it comes to money, at least for me, I am pretty tight lipped about it. If I am low in the pocketbook, no one will really know just like if I am rolling in the green. I find that our money is a place of immense intimacy. And for me to share, let alone merge, it means far more than bedding me.

 

Think about it…

 

Which are you easier to allow another person to engage with?

Your body or your bank account?

Your sex or your investments?

 

We as humans generally are easier with our sex. 

We will “hook up” with someone, pressure for sex even, sooner than we will ask for financial help or give it. And the thought of handing over our financial affairs to someone that we just met at the bar or an event, even a person we have been out with a few times versus opening our legs or penetrating another, is laughable to say the least.

 

It just is not a thing. 

(Unless you are a financial dominatrix that is, but that is a special skills set for a unique clientele.)

 

With that said, what do we women want men to prove to us and show us?

We want a financially responsible man, a man that has his shiz together with money, and we want to be romanced of course. 

 

We want to know this stuff pretty early on in the relationship as well.

Many women want to be “taken care of” in some fashion and even feel that it is part of their needs or that it should be expected. In today’s world of high maintenance relationships, money plays more of a role in the getting and maintaining of the relationship than the sex. 

Again proving that we put less importance on our sex and body than we do on our bank accounts. 

 

However there are some major challenges with this way of relating. 

Let me clearly state, there is zero wrong with wanting a partner that is financially responsible and can hold their own, has their shiz together and/or can even “take care of their partner” in some measure in this way, however today’s world and much gratitude to all the feminist movements of our past and current, women can and often do earn just as much as men. We can take care of ourselves and it is silly to believe that if we are really wanting a partnership, a true union and to fall in love that we are not basing it on each other’s bank accounts or investments but on our hearts and the essence of each other. 

 

Do we coming together make a better you and a better me, thus a better us? Or do we drain each other in some way or have a relationship that is one sided?

 

The two leading factors of divorce today: Sex & Money.

 

Here is the issue, we never drop our guards around our money out of fear of getting screwed over and we never drop our armour around our sex, because that would require us to be vulnerable with our hearts as well, because we are afraid of getting screwd over and hurt there as well. 

 

We do enter relationship and attempt to build partnership with surface level, fast food sex that is easily handed over in hopes of being cared for financially by our mate. And generally the man will hand over romance and his financial resume with ease to “prove” or convince to the woman that he is good enough to get into relationship with. 

 

So women hand over sex and men show bank statements with roses attached and a trip. 

 

And THIS is what we base love on. 

THIS is what we proclaim to be chemistry, energetic connection, even romance.

It’s all a bunch of malarkey!

 

If you need romance to feel safe in your relationship, you’re setting yourself up for heartache and failure. If you need to prove that you have this or that then you are setting yourself up for failure and drama. If you are jumping into bed right away to feel connection, but “think” that the sex is a sign of love and commitment, then you are fooling yourself and will only discover pain. 

 

We women think that romance should be a prerequisite of getting into a relationship. 

We believe that it proves that he is caring, taking it serious, wanting to go deeper, and is mature. 

We think that it is a sign of emotional maturity even, because he shared some feelings after a bottle of wine and some sex. 

And we are eager to open ourselves up physically and “act” vulnerable because we believe that’s what is required of us as a prerequisite to the relationship. 

 

Money & Sex. 

But what if the opposite were true? 

What if we had to earn these things, and the earning came from us first actually being in a relationship and revealing who we really are, as well as taking the time to get to know someone. 

What if we waited a few dates in to have the sex?

What if we waited to romance each other?

But instead chose to inquire and communicate how we do sex and money in relationship upfront so that we knew if we were in alignment or not on these two major subject of relationship and partnership?

 

What does that look like, you may ask?

 

Healthy dating, which leads to healthy relationships and then to healthy partnerships starts with healthy communication.

 

And that looks like this early on: 

 

“How do you operate around sex? I like to spend this amount of time with the person I am dating and I like to do it like this (number of dates per week, calls, daily texts, overnighters , trips) I prefer monogamy and exclusivity, as that is what I am looking for in partnership and commitment as well. I do not like to dilute my energy and time in the dating process. How does that sound to you and are you open to doing this in our relationship?”

 

Unhealthy communication around this same subject would look like this:

 

“When I am dating someone I expect monogamy and exclusivity from the start if I am going to invest any further time with someone.”

 

It’s all in the delivery. 

 

The majority of relationships today, like always are either casual relationship where the sex flows easy, or transactional where there is the expectation that you give sex for financial safety and you give financial safety for sex.

 

There is a cost associated to a relationship. 

And anyone who says that there is not they are crazy in the head or a taker who does not do their fair share of carrying the cost, nor appreciate it. 

 

There is dinner, movies, presents, gas, travel, time and so much more. 

All the little things. 

Our world runs on money. 

Our relationship does as well. 

 So why not address this up front pretty early on?

 

“How do you operate with money in a relationship?

“How do you use money in a relationship? – do you like sharing expenses? Do you like to treat and plan events as well as receive a treat and planned out event? Or do you want just the man to lead and take care of it? Or you always have to pay your own way?”

 

These inquiries show how giving a person is and what their capacity to receive is as well. 

I have read a few studies about how men respect women who invest ( yes ladies, I just said that invest) in the relationship more than they respect the woman who just takes. 

 

Men are not expecting the woman to invest an equal financial amount. 

They are not expecting women to foot the bill or to always go dutch ( well the right men are not), 

But a woman who can give and receive, a woman who makes plans and prepares events, dates and grabs the drink round every now and then, is something rare. In general, we women will fall either hard core on “ I GOT THIS!” and insist on not receiving to prove that we don’t need a man, which is silly because why then are we even wanting to explore relationship with a man, of courses we need men, just like they need us, but not for money or sex. But for depth, connection, expansion and life partnership. Or we women, expect that the guy will bear the full load always and dare he want a partner in the land of money. We will offer up our sex but not our money.

 

To have a partnership, we must let go of our fears of being vulnerable with the subjects that make or break relationships, and instead be willing to broach these topics sooner than later or we will forever find ourselves in the nasty loop or transactional relationship where we forever feel alone and used.

 

On both sides. 

 

As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to say YES! To your soulmate relationship today?

That’s what I have been helping countless individuals do for the last two decades and now it is your turn beautiful Reach out to me today to explore 1:1 coaching

HE IS NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE & COMMIT IF….

👩‍❤️‍👨HE IS NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE & COMMIT IF…
 
Put simply he is not ready to commit or able to fall in love till he pulls his head out of his a*s!
I have said for years to men and women alike that there is an unresounding pop that occurs for a man between the ages of 35 and 50 typically…
And that is when his head pops.
 
There is more to falling in love and committing than this though.
And what causes a man to have this “pop” anyway you may wonder?
 
Well to understand love and commitment we have to understand emotional maturity first
I recall sitting by the fireside while camping with my man last fall and we had a discussion about just this topic of emotional maturity as well as “box checks” a.k.a. common grounds between us or that are needed to have a united and strong partnership, which requires guess what?
 
Yep, emotional maturity!
 
EMOTIONAL MATURITY MEANS THAT YOU ARE NOT STUCK IN VICTIM OR RIGHTEOUS CONSCIOUSNESS.
 
And this simply is not the case for most men and women alike.
We are too caught up in our wounds and have not taken the time, nor do we have the desire to truly do the soul searching work to develop a strong core. We don’t do the damn work that is needed for self. The healing power of doing your own personal, spiritual, emotional, mental health work is beyond words, and it is required if you want to have a healthy partnership with someone and truly know that what you have is love and commitment.
 
But we are clueless about what love and commitment really are.
We believe that what men need (and women for that matter) to fall in love and commit is respect, appreciation, acceptance, connection and LOTS OF SEX.
Well especially men, right?
 
We as humans need all of these things.
They do not guarantee love, commitment and certainly not rock solid partnership.
In today’s world we get caught up on partnership meaning: connection and sex.
A commitment to be with someone exclusively.
Most of the time that means monogamous, however not always. There are a vast array of relationship labels today that are accepted, but the focus is exclusive “primary” partner, no matter the label. Monogamy and exclusivity DOES NOT equate to a committed partnership.
Ester Perel calls this epidemic of relationship, stable ambiguity. There is the appearance of stability and commitment in the relationship however the ambiguous part is,
“Where is the relationship going?”
 
And you cannot know where the relationship is going if you as a man cannot identify what commitment looks like. Until a man knows what his path to commitment looks like and what his end goal is in the vetting process of dating and relationship to get to partnership, he will remain frustrated in his efforts to find “the one,” and will break a few hearts along the way, leading women on that believed that they were “this one.”
 
Back to pulling your head out of your a*s and developing emotional maturity gents.
So typically a man needs a humbling life experience to have his head pop. This can be a marriage or significant relationship break up that causes financial strife, emotional pain. It can mean a health issue or the loss of a career, a home, or some other significant major obstacle that impacts him at a deeper level of soul where he starts to question life and ask for more from himself.
 
In a man’s early years and typically a first marriage scenario, men are looking for a wife AND mother to their children. They are looking for characteristics that are different from a man in middle life. By the time we are in our late thirties to early fifties, over 50% of the dating population is looking for partnership based on lifelong alignment. Wanting to know that someone wants to truly commit to having their back and love them no matter what happens. That they could be laying in bed dying from cancer and this other soul will be there every step of the way in love and wanting, not just willing to support them through it. Love them through it. They want more than just someone that is appealing to the eye. They want to trust them fully. And they are not willing to give up their hearts to anyone who is not proving to be worthy of their trust.
However they have to get out of victim and/or righteous consciousness to achieve these goals.
Simply put, male or female, if you are dating and someone in the first three dates goes into a b*tch sesh on their ex and how it was all their fault and the shiz that they did and how they were not at fault. They had no part in it. THAT IS A SERIOUS RED FLAG, that they are not emotionally mature. So they will not be able to have constructive arguments or see a viewpoint outside of their own. Until we can learn to own our part in every aspect of our life experiences, good and bad alike, we are not practicing emotional maturity and we do not know ourselves.
If a person is exhibiting entitlement, it means that they are caught up in the tunnel of ME,ME, ME land and they are going to be superficial and self-centered in their actions and needs. Creating an inability to truly connect, because you cannot trust a person stuck in such myopic attitudes.
 
Which is what a man needs to fall in love and commit….
A space to do so.
Men need to actually desire a partner not just a lover.
We humans tend to reach out for physical connection when we are not yet ready to receive love because we are in such pain and don’t believe that we are worthy of it, but crave it.
Creating a disharmony in ourselves and preventing a synergy for true partnership. There is no way a man can truly fall in love and commit if he is consistently in a space of pain and using some sort of self medication to overcome and mask it. This causes a man to become self-centered and selfish, not from a disingenuous place but from a tunnel vision place where he is unable to see past himself.
In midlife we are starving for connection and sex, however we are fearful of going deeper into relationship because we don’t know what partnership looks like in midlife. We don’t know how to harmonize and balance money, roles, responsibilities, ex-relationships, children, lifestyles, etc. We don’t know what it really means to be a partner in our midlife.
 
Men are driven by a desire to connect emotionally and physically with the feminine. Typically a man cannot kick back with his buds and discuss how he feels about things. He cannot get into his heart with other men and he desires the viewpoint of the feminine heart on such edgy matters as “feelings.” He also desires the female body and all your femininity.
This desire for connection and sex does not mean that a man is wanting partnership, however.
It means that he may be looking for a relationship, which is different from partnership as explained earlier with Perels labeling of this being stable ambiguity.
 
For a man to create the space to fall in love and commit, he must contemplate what he is really wanting outside of connection and sex.
 
Sadly, the majority of men and women alike NEVER give this much thought.
Which is what we see showing up in relationships by all the surface level relating and doing the bare minimum to maintain the relationship, which is also a major culprit to why so many marriages fail.
 
And so we come back to understanding what TRUE PARTNERSHIP is.
Until a man can identify and understand what true partnership is, outside of dating and relationship he will not be able to fall in love and commit.
 
He MUST KNOW what he wants outside of connection and sex.
And he must understand his path to achieve it.
 
It is a s simple and complex as that.
Until he reaches that space inside of himself where he want to trust a woman with his heart and desires to have her there to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…
 
He will not be able to pledge his faith, his heart, his commitment and he will not claim her as his love.
 
And she will feel it.
She will question his love and commitment to her.
 
True partnership commitment will always come down to WANTING to have someone’s back no matter what, and to want them to do the same for you.
 
Until a person truly reaches this space of wanting the US in commitment they will continue to be bouncing through relationships of stable ambiguity.
So ask yourself today, “Why do I do relationships?”
“How do I get to a place of true commitment and knowing that this is the person that I want to commit to?”
“What questions do I need to ask early on or things do I need to share to support this path?”
 
And if you want help on this path of discovering your soulmate, want to learn the right inquiry and how to go about clearing the space to call in a committed love and life partnership, reach out to me today. This is what I have helped countless singles do over the last almost two decades.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

THE ILLUSION OF ATTRACTION IS NOT THE FOUNDATION OF LOVE OR COMPATIBITY.

MEN WHO APPRECIATE THE ILLUSION ARE NOT COMMITTED TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

Ladies it’s time we queens get real with what we want in a man.

It’s time we stop hyper focusing on establishing attraction when what we really need and want is trust.

 

So often I work with beautiful women who keep drawing in crappy guys, however on the front side of the relationship the man appeared to have it all going on. The woman looked at him and said, “we have such chemistry,” when in fact what she thought was chemistry was actually attraction and because they never took a significant timeframe to actually get to know each other and see if they had true chemistry, mutual supportive beliefs, lifestyles and likes, but instead just got caught on the perception of each other they found themselves to not be compatible down the road.

 

90% of first dates today are with total strangers.

 

Why is that alarming? I mean after all our dating world is on apps, social media and dating sites. It’s how we meet people in this ocean of humans that are looking for love.

 

Today’s dating world breeds a hyper focus on the creation of attraction.

Attraction is what is sought after for both men and women alike.

We swipe left and right, heart the ones we consider a match and start up conversations of the superficial level to match our superficial ideals of what a match is to begin with.

 

Opening lines of , “How’s your day going?”

or, ” Got any plans for the weekend?”

 

Are meant to show interest and say, ” I am curious about you and your life, not just jumping into bed with you.”

 

The hope is that the party inquiring will be viewed as a conscious, present, attentive, empathetic, mature individual who has more to offer and desires more than just physical intimacy.

 

Even though the reality is what the reality is.

We date in today’s world to gain physical intimacy.

Thats why its called a “hookup society,” because we are into the quick get off and call it connection.

 

Dinner, drinks, movie, superficial chat and that should lead to sex.

Well as long as there is mutual attraction right?

Because that is what a rock solid connection is built on.

That is what relationships stand strong on.

That is what makes lifetime bonds and makes partners commit to the relationship.

 

Well, it certainly can get you a relationship.

It can get you married even.

The house.

The car.

The lifestyle.

Mutual attraction or at least enough attention and appreciation to the perception of how someone is showing up physically regardless of how they are attracted back to you or not, can land you these things.

 

But, it will not  land you love and compatibility nor trust.

 

You see, so often we women are guilty of “making ourselves up, or putting our faces on, making ourselves beautiful.” however what we are saying is I don’t believe that you will love me, appreciate me, accept me in my raw authentic state. I know that you want to see me adorned like this so that you are proud of who you have on your arm and in return…

 

We women get the above lifestyle options.

 

The mere statement of “putting on my face,” should speak volumes.

I don’t want you to see me.

I am not comfortable in my own skin.

I feel like I am not good enough.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, the act of putting on makeup or doing your hair and nails, changing dresses fifteen times because you can’t find the right one for that moment, wanting to be beautiful for the moment and for your date, your partner is not superficial or inauthentic. We women should want to look beautiful and feel beautiful in the relationship and for our partners. Loving someone makes us want to be our best and show our best.

 

But a long term, committed, real relationship that is based in love and truth  never finds its foundation on physical attraction.

But instead it is based on trust.

 

The reason why so many marriages end in divorce is because trust was either never there to begin with or it was broken along the way and never focused on for repair. It requires emotional maturity to want to repair the trust or to have it to begin with. In today’s dating and relationship times, we find ourselves dating strangers, expecting that we should know who they are from a few hours a week face to face time and some texting or calls between. We go on dates that are surface level, where we entertain ourselves and never dig deep to reveal who this other person is nor ourselves to them.

 

That’s what we have to do these days.

We have to uncover who this other person is.

Just twenty years ago we spent more time getting to know each other, we dated people that were from our churches, social communities, gyms, school. We had some ideas about who they were.

Fifty years ago and further, when two people  started to explore a relationship it was because they already had an awareness of each other. Chances are they had known or been around each other in lots of instances through family, friends and community.They were involved in similar lifestyles and beliefs. They shared community, friends and views most often. So they had certain compatibilities that they were aware of before the first date ever happened.

 

Today, often we don’t know what we are compatible with.

The catalog of possibilities is too vast.

We are detached from ourselves, not knowing who we are, what is socially acceptable or not, how our views will make us attractive or not and we are longing for the attraction factor because we believe that if we are attracted then we can figure out the rest as we go.

 

This simply is not healthy nor true and only sets us up for a run of one night stands with “pretty people” or what we find attractive.

Perhaps our attraction is to the holistic, crunchy, yoga minded, meditative, raw foodie personality. If someone presents this image and we find them physically attractive in it, then we are likely to “believe or think ” that they are compatible. If they say all the right woke statements then we believe that they are an elevated soul, empathetic, and we lay our trust in them prematurely.

 

Trust is established by getting down to the dirty details of someone.

By investing the time, energy and authentic deep inquiry with them to see how much you really align, outside of how attracted to their face, body, or comments you may be. Trust is only established from witnessing someone and seeing them in the real and raw, watching them cope with different things and engage in multiple relationships such as with their children, friends, the waitress at the restaurant, a work call, ther dog, etc. Trust is revealed over the course of hundreds of hours face to face with someone.

 

And from this trust is revealed the REAL PERSON.

Make up or not.

Their truth comes out and you see alignment with them which you can commit to and fall in love with or you see division.

 

The relationship that simply appreciates the illusions that we put forward to be perceived in some fashion typically is looking for superficial connection and relating and is not wanting commitment or to build a lifetime relationship of the heart.

 

Becoming aware of what we truly are looking for at any given time in our lives around relationships, and getting right with whatever that is and calling for what it is will help prevent pain in our dating and is a major step toward emotional maturity and acceptance of self.

 

Which is the foundation of trust.

To know thyself first so that you know what is truly compatible and in alignment or not.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to live out loud, free and in love.

 

Manifest your soul relationship today.

 

Reach out to me for mentoring and the law of attraction in love, abundance and life happiness now.

DON’T LET LIFE GASLIGHT YOU FROM YOUR TRUTH.

 

I REMEMBER TAKING THIS PICTURE WITH MY DOG RUDDY… I HAD JUST TURNED 16.

 

The year was 1992.

It was autumn, my favorite season and I was madly in love with a boy. I got my mom to take this picture of me to send a hard copy  (yeah no texting or email back then) it was snail mail… to my boyfriend who was in boot camp.

We wrote to each other daily.

Hating to be apart, however, the game plan was that he served four years and that would get him the college he wanted plus provide us housing, loans and opportunities once I was of legal age.

I had freshly graduated high school myself, and was working at my mothers clothing store in a small Northern California town that I call home, Chico. Under her thumb I listened to her daily fearfully warn me of his ill intentions. Telling me about how he was most likely cheating on me, running around with his buddies and doing who knows what. She warned me that he would abandon me like my father had abandoned us. Her anger for the masculine was obvious and yet I listened, wanting to know her thoughts but not feeling in alignment with them at my core.

I believed differently.

I trusted him.

I loved him.

And we had plans together.

 

My mother, bless her resting soul, I know had the best desires for me, however through the course of time she managed to teach me one very unuseful thing.

 

TO NOT TRUST MY HEART.

 

Her rampage about my boyfriend often ended with her anger and bitterness toward my father. I would and still do recall her many tales to me of how she hated being married, how she felt controlled but that was the bed she had to be in. She proclaimed her status as a victim to life and to the relationship and she shared openly her pains about it with myself from the youngest of ages. I was forever her sounding board. Although her desires for my life were most likely set in love, they did bare with them the idea that I was going to be used without choice by the masculine and to NOT trust men at all cost. Try as I might to ignore her feelings and beliefs and hold firm to my own, they did manage to seep into my psyche and have caused me much pain through my adult years.

 

Because you see, my mothers fears and experiences ended up laying the foundation to me doing what I felt I “had or should” do in life and relationships instead of following my intuition and heart or soul. As a young adult, I had no idea that I was in as much control of the outcomes of my life as I understand now. I believed that I was a victim to what life handed me and that I had to make the most “logical or smart” choices for my survival as I could.

And so, I got married to a man a decade my senior at 18. I had babies. I worked a job. I focused on setting up the house that appeared “normal and expected of me” and I was unhappy to my core.

 

I did not chase the boy who held my heart at that time.

I let him go, believing that he had abandoned me just like my mother predicted.  And because life tends to give us what we expect, he did walk away from me. Or run from the wrath of my mother, but that’s a different tale for another day.

 

My mom was so happy the day I got married.

She was ecstatic the day I gave birth to my eldest child, a daughter.

I recall her tears on both events and her grabbing me with sheer delight.

 

I wanted to make my mom proud.

I wanted to be different from other teenagers and young adults.

I knew I was intelligent and a self-learner.

I knew that I was pretty logical and sound in my reason,

that I was wise beyond my years.

After all, adults much older than I told me so often.

And perhaps I was.

But I wanted to do right.

And with the learning that my mother taught me to NOT TRUST MY HEART, but instead listen to only my mind and always make the smart play, I opened the gateway to listening to others, especially my husband. 

I knew that my heart was unreliable.

It would do nothing but get me into trouble.

 

So when he would tell me that I was thinking, doing or acting a certain way because of……

Or that what I really wanted was….

Or that I would just enjoy this or that if I allowed myself…

Because he knew, I tended to believe him even though it felt off inside my body and heart.

 

Fast forward a few decades, My second long term relationship with a man ended with him telling me that maybe I just did not know how to be happy and did not know what  love really was.

This man too also told me how I felt, why I felt this way and what I was thinking.

 

Both managed to get me to question my own reasoning, my feelings,my emotions, my actions and thoughts and they were strongly supported in their efforts to lead me on the best course of life by my mothers teachings of don’t listen to your heart but instead make the smartest play for your survival.

 

Neither relationship fulfilled me.

Neither relationship felt right.

Neither relationship was based in love,

they were based in mind.

 

And both relationships were guilty of gaslighting.

They both acted not in my best interest or even the best for the family, but instead acted according to the best interest in my partners desires, needs and ego. Whether that be sexually, business, moving houses, friendships, child rearing or what I did with my spare time or how I showed up as a partner.

What they wanted mattered more than what was right for me.

And I spent a ton of my adult years believing that this was the only way.

 

WOW! Was I ever wrong?

One day I discovered something different.

One day a spiritual teacher of mine confronted me on my allowance of such events and why I was choosing to ignore my greatest gift.

 

My GPS system to my soul, to life and to my power.

This teacher then spent a few years helping me transform my debilitating beliefs and showed me that the things that I feared were nothing to fear if I (get this…) listened to my heart and intuition. Through trial and error in learning myself again and coming home to ME, I rediscovered my path.

 

My power as a soul living a human experience and a co-creator of my life.

 

I found true connection with a partner where I feel certain in revealing myself and am not afraid to challenge him when I feel my soul and heart are not being heard.

 

I have discovered that I can show up just as I am and not need to sacrifice anything of myself to have that love based connection, nor feel safe and be able to trust and surrender in the relationship.

 

I have discovered that this coming home to my heart and soul,

the listening to my intuitions which at my core I have always known to be true, will ONLY GUIDE ME TO MY HIGHEST AND BEST LIFE in all areas.

 

And that is powerful  AF!

 

We adults forget ourselves.

We change the way we transmit things in our brains by not using our creative sides, by ignoring what we feel and our curiosity.

We allow ourselves to create a time loop in our life where every day is groundhog day and we are okay with it because it is comfortable and safe, but we are not happy.

 

Today I challenge you to inquire with the self and to ask “Why am I not happy?” Really allow yourself to dig deep into your heart with this. Move past the ideas and conscripts that you have been taught that THIS IS what happiness is and that it is not okay to not be happy with the lot you have allowed yourself.

 

Ask yourself, “If I truly allowed myself to be/do/have anything that I wanted, how would I be choosing to show up in life, love, relationship right now?”

 

You are worthy of a life that makes you happy.

You are worthy of feeling and knowing that you are powerful.

But you have to first challenge the way you have allowed yourself to be gaslighted in life. Don’t accept that your core, your soul, your heart are faulty and that all that matters is the mind, your feelings about things are gifts from something more than what you believe is you.

 

START THERE.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Summer is upon us.

I have many local DFW workshops coming up to help you get educated, transform the way you move through life, let go of anxiety, fear and find your power once more. Reach out to me for deet’s and links on these, and for anyone looking to go deep in the work of YOU let’s chat about 1:1 mentoring where I can share what my master teachers shared with me so many years bacak that awakened me to my power and truth. Message me now for summer specials.