Have you ever woken up feeling like you are in a strange land?
Like you don’t even know who this soul is that is looking back at you from the mirror as you brush your teeth.
That was me this morning.
Here I am on a workcation you could say enjoying a week in the Dominican Republic, teaching a powerful entrepreneur workshop on line about tapping into your play, your passion and your profits and I found myself on this incredible morning looking out at the white sands and brilliant blue waters questioning what I had been doing with myself the last year.
Taking my journal in hand,
moving my workstation to the VIP lounge where I could sort my feelings out while kicking back with a yummie mojito, soft music and a cool breeze I sat still for a few minutes while reading back through some deep inner work I did almost a year ago with my mentor in a expansion workshop.
As I read I became deeply disappointed with myself.
I felt the emotion and pain of what I wanted not manifesting,
and even worse,
the pain of not holding to my personal commitments.
There I sat,
on this lovely day,
wanting to weep in my rum over not stepping the f-ck fully up and doing what I know I must do to have what I desire and to share my message in the grandeur that I feel called.
You see the crappy thing about my work,
is that I KNOW.
I have no damn excuse to not know what I need to do.
I know how important commitment to self is.
I know how vital it is to believe that you are worthy of your dreams.
I know that all the fear of chasing after what my SOUL is calling me toward is just a silly illusion of my ego.
I know that God wants me to be brilliant and spread my wings.
So when I choose to ignore my SOUL,
I get really angry with myself.
And I have to quickly remind myself of the power of self forgiveness and that it is critical to our growth and ability to receive.
And so as I sat there a tad longer I looked at all that I have learned over the last year.
I looked at all that I did choose to allow to flow into my life.
I looked at the great abundance that life did bless me with.
Because you know what?
As long as I sat there and kept focusing on what I deemed I had gotten wrong and fallen down on,
the less understanding I had for my path.
The less love I was feeling for myself.
The less abundant and blessed I thought of myself.
And that shiz is not attractive to no body especially blessings and cash flow.
SO I sat there and I made a choice to STOP looking at my mistakes, at my let down and my flaws of not fully stepping in,
and instead to look at that commitment list I wrote up a year ago and be excited at how f-cking powerful of a creator I am.
I brought my attention to the fact that I got the car that I wanted,
just like I said I wanted.
I focused on the fact that I had my highest six figure earning year yet in my coaching practice and even though I missed my goal by $20k it really did not matter. That was nothing in the big picture.
I focused on the joy and pride in accomplishing getting my business fully moved over to where I wanted it to be. To calling in a whole new tribe and building my new improved brand.
I got centered in the feeling of calling in the beauty of a dynamic and heart centered love relationship the way I desired. And consistently remaining present and pushing my own boundaries and fear around intimacy with this man to move deeper with him and us.
I congratulated myself.
I congratulated myself on consistently stepping further and further into my truth, no matter how scary it has been,
and even though in this moment I sit here writing this to you as I look out over the white sands and ocean waves from my balcony in the Caribbean feeling like I woke up in a strange world,
that I know that it is only strange because it is a deeper version of myself.
It is a new vibrational set point of who I am.
It is a clearing of the veils that hid me away from my goals for years before.
And TODAY,
today is a new day.
A good day.
A day to commit once again to this process of getting closer to self and thus closer to my dreams.
That legacy my soul is leading me to,
it will only be created fully when I can stand firmly in who I am and who God has called me to be.
I share this message with you today to confirm something to you.
I share it to make you ask yourself if you too have something great in your soul that you are not fulfilling and if the reasons that life may not be fully ignited the way you want is because somewhere back there in your history book you started believing that you were not worthy of it?
I share this with you because you and I beautiful are no different.
God wants our legacy to manifest.
But he needs our trust in life.
He needs you to believe you can have it and stop resisting your blessings by insisting it has to be difficult and hard to achieve.
By focusing on what you have not yet accomplished and how you fell down.
It is just a choice beautiful.
Whatever energy and emotion you apply yourself to,
is what manifests in your life.
What are you feeling right now?
And how can you expand your boundaries of comfort to align to the highest version of who your were born to be?
As ALways,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”