Relationship creates a space where we want to fully submerge ourselves.
Lose ourselves in the love.
In the connection.
In each other.

It feels amazing as we come together with another soul,
And are greeted and held in this feeling of love and acceptance.

So much so that without realizing it we give away pieces of ourselves over the course of time.
We stop doing things that we once enjoyed,
We stop being around people even that filled us, stirred us or supported us in different ways because we feel that this relationship that holds our hearts is enough.

And the very idea that perhaps this relationship is not enough,
Not should it ever be enough even,
Seems ludicrous.

This is our home.
This is love.
And love means to put all your focus,
All your needs and hopes,
Into it.
Thats what commitment is.

To choose the relationship.

Yet here is also the demise of the relationship.
You see when we put the relationship before self,
We turn over ourselves and can easily get lost in the life of the relationship instead of the life that we are to be living.

This leads to anxiety, frustration, jealousy, worry, fear of abandonment and bitterness.

The more we focus on the CHOOSING OF US instead of the choosing of self,
The more empty and lost we will find ourselves.

Because we are no longer focused on aligning to our own soul,
But instead aligning to the picture and expectations of the relationship.

The strongest relationships are built on two individuals who are strong and confident in themselves without each other first.

Relationship helps us learn and heal different new and old aspects of ourselves.
Relationship adorns our lives with its beauty and connection,
But it is not to be the foundation, beams and walls as well of who we are and our happiness or confidence.

When a person is aligned first with self and God,
Then they can open and align into a relationship that fits who they are verses a relationship that needs them to be someone and something that they are not.

When we mold ourselves to a relationship we give away who we are.
We turn from our core,
From our soul and alignment of self and God,
In the belief that that is what love requires inorder to maintain.

However, the truth is that love recieves you just as you are.

Love focuses us on us first.
Love knows that it only exists when each individual loves themselves deeply,
Knows themselves,
Accepts themselves,
And that authentic love ( not need masked as love)
Is present in self first.

Authentic love is only present because of the love we feel for self.

Any other format of it is based in an attempt to feel solid in self based on anothers attention.


Authentic love always chooses the self first because it is there that alignment comes from.
It is there that love manifests from.

And without the self first you walk in the land of loss, emptiness and fear.

So I ask you today to look at your ” love based relationship” and ask yourself.

Do I choose US or ME?

Leaning into your truth and soul will lead you to the space that will fill you from a deep level of love, support and build your confidence in who you are so that you can give and recieve an unconditional love with your partner.

Choose you.
Love you.
Be you.


As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”

Reach out to learn how to strengthen self to strengthen your love.