This is for all you men who are thinking of living with a woman or marrying her.
Getting into a committed heart-based relationship with a woman, especially something like marriage, is far too significant a thing to ignore these facts.
A man should never marry a woman he does not understand, and he should not attempt to marry her even until he gets certain tangible facts about his potential wife/partner and marriage because when a man fails to understand these facts about their woman, what ends up happening is that his lack of understanding creates a breakdown in the chemistry of the marriage/relationship. And this often happens before you get to the altar.
FACT: The relationship/marriage always goes in the direction of the wisdom of the man.
Wow! Yeah, now I know in today’s world of feminized men out there and women taking the lead and showing that we can do everything a man can do and then some in some instances that this idea may be hard to swallow, but your “that’s bullshiz” feeling to my statement does not change the reality of the nature of this.
A woman only reproduces what a man gives her.
Most men and women today lack this understanding and wisdom.
4 Things a man can do to gain the wisdom he needs for a successful, loving, committed Relationship with a Woman.
Take the time to understand your woman’s emotions. This goes beyond just trying to listen to her and understand or logically get her. This is about a man actually knowing his woman emotionally. This fact demands you as a man to invest time and energy. Most men know their women sexually and physically, but it’s very few that know them emotionally. You see, typically, when a man cheats it’s because he is looking for something physically new and fun, he is being immature and has not yet grown in this area of himself as a man. However, when a woman cheats, you will find that there is some emotional deficit in her life around the relationship, in regards to her man. When a man does not take the time to truly know his woman emotionally, he puts her into a compromised position without even realizing it. Granted, I am not saying that you as a man will ever understand all the emotions of your woman, I don’t even believe this is possible, but you should have a foundational level of understanding her emotionally.
FACT: If a man does not ever really emotionally connect with a woman, it will be virtually impossible for him to ever please her sexually.
At some point, she will stop being attracted to you if you cannot relate to her emotionally. She will stop respecting you as a man and there is no way that a woman will be able to seriously submit to her man and let him lead their lives or penetrate her heart if he does not truly know her emotionally.
Another taboo word for today’s times, but again reality no matter your “that’s bullshiz” thought there. Submission for a woman is a process, she moves from interested to love, then she starts to respect him, then trust him and then she will submit to him. Meaning she will be able to relax into her feminine energy with him and let him lead, knowing that he has her back in all things with love.
She may love you and even respect you, but if she doesn’t trust you, it is a sign that she does not feel emotionally secure with you.
A woman needs her man to be a leader. Every man wants to be in charge, but few men learn to lead. This does not mean that the man is the boss or a dictator. If you look at society today, what do you see? Men who are out of their spiritual place as leaders. There is not a person on this planet that is not impacted by this societal issue today. Our world is topsy turvy because men no longer know how to lead, women are attempting to step up to the plate and fulfill this spiritual polarization shift, but things are getting more and more crazy because of it. Don’t get me wrong here, women are leaders but we lead differently than men, and a man who knows how to lead is a powerful, respectful thing.
What does leadership require? Direction or vision. Conviction meaning character/integrity and then influence.
So, we can see why so many men today cannot lead. Yet, this is something that is required in marriage and relationship, life in general for success and happiness. Your woman cannot have a better sense of purpose than you as her man. She cannot have better clarity for the future of the relationship than you. If she does, then she is the man in the relationship and no longer operating from her spiritual strength of feminine energy.
FACT: A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways.
Why would any mature woman ever put their life in the hands of this sort of man?
She would not. And if she does, it is short lived.
A leader is secure enough in his direction and vision, in who he is to embrace the views, ideas and needs of his woman and family. He will not stifle or reject her input, rather he will receive her, love her and demonstrate her value in all things. The result is that this leader of a man will be trusted, and his woman will yield to him when he is convicted.
She needs your attention & approval. One of the games that gets played in our dating and mating world today is that the immature, elicit man will pretend to pay attention to her. He will validate her, compliment and swoon her, but will not be real with his intentions nor his feelings and many women will fall prey to this. Women love and adore men who pay attention to them. Not just the sexual or the compliments, but pay attention to her words, desire and conversations. When a man fails to validate consistently his woman in this fashion you are putting your woman into a bad position. It’s the same position a woman puts a man when she refuses sexual desires of what her man feels he needs. This does not mean that she is responsible for him cheating, however she certainly is playing a role in it by giving the devil the upper hand and tempting him. When a man fails at paying attention and giving approval to his woman he opens the doorway to temptation for her. Like I shared before, most of the time when a woman cheats it’s because something emotionally is lacking. Women view this as not having enough attention from the man.
FACT: A woman who feels like she is not your priority or that you are paying attention to her the way she needs you to, is a weakened woman. She will start to notice opportunities elsewhere that she would not have seen before. She will be hungry and she will need to be fed somehow.
Most men do not know this, understand this or give it enough value. Instead they grow frustrated with the fact that their woman needs attention, wants approval and will end up belittling her in some way because of it. This is a big relationship mistake!
Ignoring your womans will never let you experience the best of her.
She will end up shutting down her heart to you and not trusting or respecting you, let alone desiring you. I should note here, that all too often this is one of the main reasons women stop being engaged sexually with their partners or able to have an orgasm with him. They may still give themselves physically to their man, but if she is feeling unseen or unheard and not validated and appreciated the way that she needs you too, then she is two-steps from the door.
FACT: When a woman stops leaning in with her heart and emotions, her opinions and thoughts or sexually she is questioning if she wants the relationship any longer.
Men are moved by what they see and what they feel physically.
Women are moved by issues of the heart and what they feel emotionally.
If a woman loves a man she pays close attention to him, and can read into him. Pick up on the subtle things. A man can love a woman and not be smart enough to pay attention to her until she takes a physical step in a direction. Making him question his reality. Guys are not taught how to pay attention, but that’s no excuse if you want a marriage type relationship of commitment with a woman.
Bringing home the paycheck and doing all the things on the honey-do-list, plus some sex is not enough for a woman to be happy with her man. These things are certainly needed, however a woman has emotional needs and if she does not feel connected to her man emotionally then she will not be happy. This means he MUST be paying attention and valuing her emotional needs.
How does a man attain this emotional knowledge of his woman?
Information gathering. This means pay attention to her words, to her expressions and through others who know her well.
Observation of her. Pay attention consistently. When is she most happy with you, soft in spirit, feminine, full of joy, turned on and creative verses when she is closed, negative, hyper-emotional, depressed, angry, anxious, fearful, disconnected, lost, fake or over controlling.
Communicate with her. This is the hardest one. Most men find this one most challenging because they themselves are scared and uncertain. They don’t want the real truth so they ignore it all together. But if a man actually just sat down with his woman in love and with a heart of listening to her he could find out so much that would be helpful.
FACT: What matters most to a woman are the intangibles. Learn to make love to her soul, love her heart, and connect to it. You can’t buy a woman’s heart. But you can buy her body.
Paying attention to your woman’s psyche is equivalent to loving her.
A woman will never be in your face about what she needs or wants, she will drop a million hints about what is going on with her and your relationship. If you really want her to commit and love you, have your back pay attention to her.
She needs you to communicate. Men don’t like to talk as much as women, this is a known fact. Men are considered avoidant by nature or emotionally shut down or immature because of this. But, if you are not communicating with your woman and letting her into your heart and feelings consistently about your life, needs, thoughts, vision, fears then she will start to assume certain things which leaves the doorway open to wrong thoughts and feelings and she will inevitably be lost without your words. She will start to question everything, go into anxiety and not trust you.
FACT: A man’s lack of communication with his woman will lead her into a state of imagination about him and the relationship or how he feels about her. This will then only be discovered when a fight breaks out or worse.
A wise man stays in communication with his woman.
One of the biggest things that’s missing in marriages and relationships of today is that men do not communicate. How can you be the leader and not communicate?
I hear all the time from men that they are not communicators. That they don’t really have any emotions or feelings about something. Or (and this is a big one!) that because their woman is so high-emotion and “crazy” that he does not feel safe communicating with her. It’s just best if he says nothing, is what he has learned, so he will say.
Such a horrible mistake!
And such a childish thing to do. Blaming your woman for your lack of leadership and inability to have intimate communications with her.
A lot of talk is typically perceived by the man as though the woman does not trust him or that she is trying to trap him or read too much into something.
For a woman though, a lot of conversation means deep relating and caring.
A man needs to communicate his mind consistently because a woman needs to know what he is thinking to be able to trust, and soften into him. Especially if you expect her to follow your lead and let you be the man that you want to be and she needs you to be.
A woman’s spiritual nature in a relationship is to help her man with his vision for life. If he does not communicate faithfully with her, then how is she to do this?
She must know your heart and mind if she is to be your partner for life.
But that is up to you gentlemen.
As is how much she rests in her feminine or not.
FACT: The biggest issue with women today is that they do not feel loved by their husbands, partners/boyfriends.
This may come as a surprise to many men out there, because you feel that all is well. After all she is receptive, she is not nagging you or fighting with you. You are having sex – maybe not great or even good, but it’s happening. You are providing. So it must all be groovy, right?
A woman can give her body to many men, but for him to gain her heart and commitment he must first learn her and then stay consistently learning her for their life together.
“The way a man penetrates his woman, so does he penetrates the world.” – David Deida
“ But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.1 Corinthians 7:33
Hopefully you have discovered something in this article that instills in you a desire to be a good man to your woman and make her to feel your love as well as feel secure in dropping down in her feminine and honoring you, with her heart, mind, body and soul, as her man.
Loving you from here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
Did I strike a chord with you today? Want to learn more about fundamental concepts and skills for finding the one and being the one? Reach out to me today in the comments or DM to book your free consultation now.