💍”ON THE MARKET” TILL YOU PUT A RING ON MY FINGER.
So some say.
How do you feel about this?
Would love to hear all the comments on this topic.
Recently I was privy to a conversation around “what defines couplehood?” And to my surprise (and yet not) so many men and women alike focused on the legal aspects of what makes you a couple.
Making statements such as,
“How do you file your taxes? There you have your answer if you are single or a couple.”
“According to legal paperwork you have to fill out, ‘dating’ or ‘engaged’ is not an option for selection, so you are single unless married.”
“If someone passes away and you are not married then you are just considered friends no matter the time you have no rights, so you are single unless married.”
And so many more statements along these lines.
True as these statements are when looking at couplehood from a legal aspect, the question is not one of legalities unless you only value the legal and not the heart.
🌹💍🌹 SO WHAT DEFINES COUPLEHOOD?🌹💍🌹
Is it monogamy?
Exclusivity?
What about those couples who are in an open relationship? Swingers? Poly?
Are they not couples because they have agreed upon multiple partners?
Is it the legal aspect, a ring, an “I DO.” and a contract that binds?
What about those who are living together but have not crossed that line yet, are engaged? Or maybe don’t believe in marriage but believe in love and commitment?
👉🤯DO YOU CONTINUE TO SHOP FOR THE BEST MATE UNTIL A RING AND CONTRACT ARE DRAWN UP? -NO MATTER THE LIVING ARRANGEMENT, THE SPOKEN COMMITMENT, THE PLANNING?
And how does this equate to love and commitment?
Would you want to marry someone who is still shopping for the better choice even though they tell you they are in love with you?
Here is what one woman said, and I quote:
“Until you’re married you are single 👌
Now you may be courting, dating or in a committed relationship,
but you’re still “on the market” until you’re no longer available.”
Last time I looked at this thread 44 people agreed and loved this woman’s sentiment.
And maybe you are one of them.
I cannot help it, as polarizing as it may be to some, I strongly disagree.
This statement says – ” I AM NOT COMMITTED NOR IN LOVE.”
IF YOU WANT:
👊Commitment
👊Trust
👊Rock Solid
👊The ability to surrender to love.
Then baby you gotta give up the market.
If you count yourself “still available until paperwork and a ring” you will NEVER find the above list of vital ingredients to a strong, stable, loving relationship.
You will NEVER feel loved nor safe.
👉Because you CANNOT trust someone who is always looking for something better.👈👈👈
The issue with this statement is that love, one’s heart and soul, true soul connection is being ignored in the pursuit for the shiniest new object that can fill the greatest amount of earthly needs.
THIS LEAVES WHOMEVER YOU ARE WITH FEELING REPLACEABLE.🤯
Uncertainty is the foundation to lack of trust.
Which translates to lack of respect.
And no desire to open the heart.
This way of viewing love (if you can even call it that) is based in need alone.
And in my opinion after working with thousands of individuals and couples over the last almost two decades I can tell you honestly THIS is the cause of so much pain and suffering.
More often than not, couples come to me because they discover that they never loved their partner fully. They never felt fully aligned, or matched to them.
However, their partner had the money, the house, the romance, the looks, the stamina, the intelligence, was a ‘great’ guy or sweet woman… blah… blah…blah…
And then they find themselves one day on a trip with friends, having a few too many drinks and having an affair with the resort tennis instructor from Italy because he is the shiny new object that rocks their boat and makes them feel alive.
And after all, they are not married.
So they owe nothing to the person at home.
Forget the last however many years…
Forget the lifelong plans…
The goals and dreams supposedly shared.
OR…
Maybe they are married.
And, “Oops, I slipped, it won’t happen again. I drank too much.”
I can tell you this, no matter the agreements what defines couplehood is COMMITMENT, TRUST, TRANSPARENCY.
And above all else LOVE.
And when you are really in love with someone,
you have zero desire to dilute that love with outside influences.
You see the beauty in the mirror of your partner.
You respect them, honor them, appreciate them and realize that communication, authenticity and a desire to make your relationship rock solid is priority.
YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING BETTER.
💍Ring or no ring…
It Doesn’t matter.
Although it may to those in your life.
🤯Perhaps your family and friends will not honor, respect or see the relationship as committed UNLESS there is a ring and a contract signed?
🤯Perhaps you will find yourself always fighting off the wolves who want to test your commitment until they see that there is a “REAL” boundary there?
All that matters however, is how you define couplehood.
How do you view love?
Commitment?
What are your values around relationships?
If you are with someone and still looking for something better, but holding onto them because “something is better than nothing” then at very least BE REAL with the one you are with and tell them that this is how you feel.
Give them the option to hang with you while you explore or to find someone who will want them for them and match their needs/wants/desires in a relationship that’s aligned to their soul.
👊👊CAUSE BABY, IT AIN’T TRUE LOVE NOR YOUR SOULMATE CONNECTION IF YOU ARE STILL OPEN TO THE MARKET.👊👊
And I share that from personal experience. 🙄
👉Ready to get real and call in that soulmate love that makes you want for no other?
👉Sick and tired of feeling like love is fleeting and something that is not possible to hold on to?
👉Looking for the one who makes your heart and soul soar but uncertain how to identify if he/she is the one?
Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”