The grass is always greener where you choose to water it.
This statement came up on my Facebook memories from 2009.
I read it and smiled.
It was not just a smile to acknowledge a good and accurate statement, but a smile to my deepest self to say,
“You even got it back then.”
And because of this understanding back in 2009,
when my life was completely opposite of what it is today,
I created the circumstances that I am now living.
And I did so consciously.
I did so on purpose.
Prior to 2009 however I was consistently teetering back and forth in my ability to create my circumstances.
I was still playing the blame game and finding great reasons as to why my life was the way it was.
I was still feeling as though life was uncertain and consistently liked to change it up on me.
I found myself asking, “Can I just catch a break already?”
Not embracing my worthiness to live the life that was being called forth from deep within me.
Not realizing that I did not have to react to the circumstances that were all about me and get caught up in their mess,
because the circumstances that I was reacting too,
were only there to show me what I had been focused on in days gone by.
You see I had created those circumstances too.
I was choosing to look at the money that I did not have.
I was choosing to look at my hardships and my pain.
I was choosing to wake up each morning and ponder why life was so effing difficult and questioned its purpose even.
I was the one who was holding myself in this way of living.
I was the one who was holding myself in my suffering.
But something happened in 2009.
It was spectacular and at the same time miniscule.
I woke up!
Now I am not saying that my eyes opened up and I realized it was daytime so I got to work.
No I woke up to what I had always known,
but kept forgetting and kept allowing everything and everyone else to get in the way of.
I woke up and realized that my life was moving forward with or without my attention to it.
My life was happening.
I could try and push pause all day long,
I could sit and have deep debates and contemplate the what ifs and shoulds and woulds.
But none of that mattered.
I could sit and shame and guilt myself for everything I had done wrong or where I could have done better,
and I could really sink into all of that suffering and regret,
but my life….
my life was still moving along.
It had no care if I was caught on those items or not.
It was just going.
And with it, my opportunity to LIVE was going as well.
I looked out over the span of all the years that I had struggling and harping on myself and others to try and get things to go the way I wanted. I looked at what I was doing with myself each day, at the seeds I was planting and the care I was giving them.
And what I discovered was that I was a great seed planter.
I had big and loft dreams for abundance in all good things.
I wanted the castle in the sky and the knight in shining armour to boot. I wanted the health, the joy, the connection.
I wanted it all for self and for my loved ones and I wanted to leave my mark on this planet.
I wanted to touch people’s lives in a positive way.
And I looked to soil to plant in,
I found it often.
Opportunity was around every corner.
And I was great at having hope in it.
I was good at tilling the dirt and planting the seeds.
Doing what was required to build that life that I wanted.
And knew I could have.
But you know what I discovered that I sucked at?
Watering.
I forgot to water my grass.
Consistently I would get side tracked by the weeds in my life.
And without realizing it I would start to water them.
I would wake up each morning thinking and worrying about the weeds,
I would talk about the weeds all day and share my opinions about them with others,
I would point them out and get everyone else’s thoughts about my weeds,
and I would go to sleep stressed and anxious over the damn weeds,
and do it all over again the next day.
This was me watering the weeds.
And forgetting all about my grass,
Yet if someone had asked me if I was tending to the grass and my garden, I would have confidently assured them that I was.
Because I was making sure that those weeds were being dealt with, I knew I had a great opportunity in this and I knew what I wanted to achieve and there was no effing way that I was going to let those damn weeds mess up what I was working on,
However sadly, everytime the weeds took over and my garden failed and I suffered. I was hungry and broke. I was lost and worn out. I was exhausted from all these weeds that mother nature just kept tossing my way, and even though I was a believer that these weeds were trying to teach me a lesson, that I was to grasp delayed gratification, that I had to have patience and that hard work would get me there,
I questioned just how long and how much paying the price I would have to do and if I could withstand it,
or if I was going to just be broken from the whole thing?
Well in 2009, I realized what the lesson of the weeds was.
They were there not trying to build my stamina,
not trying to get me through all the hurdles and teach me a plethora of lessons so I could be my best,
it was not about paying some price or proving myself or even earning it,
The weeds were there because I was feeding them.
I was focusing on them with more passion and care then what I was giving to my dreams.
And you know what I chose to do?
Yep you guessed it.
I changed my focus.
I took my attention and I started to apply that same passion and consistent time toward what I wanted.
I started creating opportunities to sit and ponder the joyous moments, the laughter and happiness.
I started to look at how awesome my kids and family were,
I allowed myself to get caught up in health and fitness,
I allowed myself to date, to enjoy sex and to fall in love.
I allowed myself to explore me.
And I appreciated all the goodness and abundance that started to flow in.
Now I was watering my grass and garden.
And mother nature did a really cool thing once I started doing this,
mother nature expanded my garden,
my grass started taking over more land,
it called for more and more of my attention because it was no longer a small plot of land in my life, it was now everywhere.
And flowers were blooming that I had only dreamt of.
I had created new circumstances.
And I am living those circumstances today,
at this moment.
Now there are plenty of weeds for me to look at if I choose,
but I am choosing to water my garden and grass instead and in turn I consistently keep reaping a plentiful harvest in all areas of life.
I chose to LIVE.
I chose to CREATE.
I chose to not be reactive but instead to know my power and worthiness and plant more of what I want each day.
My question to you sweet reader is simple…
Are you being reactive to circumstances or are you creating them?
Weeds or Grass,
Where is your focus?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with. Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s