I WANT TO NEED HIM.
This is a statement that a woman made to me as we were speaking about her couple-hood.
As I listened to her tale of desire to want to need her man,
that she believed that this is the way that we were designed,
and that so much of our discontent in relationships and life as well as not knowing ourselves comes from this very belief that we women “should not” need men.
That we are just as good and can balance life without a significant other, I thought to myself,
SHE IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
Women have burdened themselves with the disease of believing that we don’t need men, that it is a sign of weakness. That we are lower than human if we rely on our male counterparts. Or that if we are relying on them that we are selling ourselves for a lifestyle, for safety.
And so many women do, do just this.
They settle into relationships not for soul union, not for love, but for comfort and safety. They look at the man’s resume, not his heart.
These women are indeed selling themselves.
They are becoming slaves to a lifestyle and a comfort.
They are not acting from soul or love.
And to them I could write a million lines,
but today I am addressing the women who are afraid of being perceived this way.
So much so, that they armour themselves from beautiful relationships, they fight to be seen strong at all cost, they feel weak at the thought of receiving help from their man. They do not know how to be supported by the masculine.
I am one of these women.
So I share from the depths of my feminine heart on this topic.
I am one of those women that has a ridiculous time receiving from my man. I have learned through the years to allow him to open doors, to help grab the groceries, to let him help me in house and home. I have gotten over him not cumming every time we make love or him focusing all his attention on my pleasure and not receiving physically in times.
I have learned that his pleasure sometimes is all about my receiving in our sexual union.
I have learned that he loves to witness me in rapture.
That he feels great pleasure and satisfaction in my bliss.
In what he gives to me.
But, when it comes to money.
When it comes to bills.
When it comes to buying the groceries.
Even if it is a trinket that I have my eye on and he asks me, do you want that? He is ready to purchase it for me. He wants to bring me pleasure. He wants to see me adorned. He wants my happiness.
I know this. But I feel like I am taking from him.
That I should not need this.
That it is not okay.
That he will perceive me as a woman who is there for the financial support.
And I am scared to lean on him.
I am scared that he will see me as weak.
That my heart and love will be missed some how,
that my truth that I have only eyes and desire for him will be washed over in some way because he has “helped” me.
When in truth, it is not even him helping me.
It is a union.
It is a team.
It is US, supporting the whole together.
And it is my pride that stands in the way of the full union.
It is my pride that screams that I should not need him, all the while my soul feels just like the woman above.
I WANT TO NEED HIM.
Because I DO!
I need his strong masculine guidance.
I need his looks of love and adoration.
I need his tenderness.
I need his touch.
I need his heart.
I need him to need me.
And I do not look at him as though he is weak for wanting me.
Or for needing me.
I know that he needs my feminine heart,
my emotions and touch.
He needs to see my rapture and my tears so he can fully feel who he is at his depth as well.
I know that he wants to need me.
We both have lived without each other just fine.
We both have been more than capable of living life and supporting our loved ones, building lives, businesses and we could easily choose to continue to do just that.
But the union of the masculine and the feminine when done by soul, is a union of desire to be together because together we are stronger.
Together we feel more.
We heal deeper.
We expand fully.
It’s not about money or security.
Although together we thrive all the more as well.
It’s not about weakness in coming together.
It’s uncomfortable in truth to be vulnerable and wide open with someone. To have no hold backs.
To feel as though there are no barriers,
nothing you do not want seen or felt.
To want to be witnessed at the deepest levels by your mate,
is uncomfortable AF!
There is no hiding here.
And we women, hold back from needing our men deeply,
and wanting to need them,
we in turn tell God/Universe that we don’t need them either.
It’s hypocritical of us women to say that we are these brilliant life givers, thus manifestors, creators, powerhouses and to know that we are vessels born to receive and then say NO to receiving because we deem it a weakness because it comes from our man.
How are we to ever fully become our greatest selves if we consistently deny our receiving, our pleasure, support, love from the great masculine?
No wonder we women are lost.
No wonder so many of us are bitter, non-orgasmic, always choose the wrong man who lets us down.
We should expect all of this and know that we have set ourselves up for suffering in love,
To never feel fully loved or cherished because we are not cherishing ourselves.
It is through our ability to lean into the masculine, to open our hearts and put down our armour with a man that holds us close and wants to need us as well, who gets that he is our king, our knight, our protector and great lover. That through his honor and ability to carry us deeper into ourselves that we find ourselves.
It is my belief, and a belief that “just might” be backed by a few spiritual scriptures and structures out there as well, that we are meant to support each other. The equal yoking of the masculine and feminine.
THE DESIRE TO BE ROMANCED LIES DEEP IN THE HEART OF EVERY WOMAN.
IT IS FOR SUCH THAT YOU WERE MADE.
I love this quote by John Eldredge.
However, for us to have that desire manifest, we women must open ourselves to God first,
We must learn to listen to our hearts, our soul, our intuition. We must then open ourselves and lay down the shields and swords of our wounded little girls and let the conscious masculine hold us.
See us fully.
We must be open to needing him.
And we must want to need him.
It is only through our wanting,
And our understanding that, that wanting is not a weakness but a powerful space of abundance, flow and love,
That we gain the opportunity to experience true soul union.
Our union with our man mirrors our union with the divine, with God.
The trust we show our mate,
We captivate our men for a reason.
It is because through us he feels life.
And we are lifted by his true heart and desire to serve us.
So if you are a woman like myself who struggles with receiving from the masculine,
If you feel weak or like you will be misperceived in your wanting of his support, his love, his attention, look no further than your heart.
Ask your truth there.
And see him as God.
Wanting your rapture in all of life.
Stop Existing & Start Living