👊COMMITMENT DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR “FEELINGS.”😳
“But Kendal my feelings matter.
If I am not feeling him then there must be something wrong in the relationship. Maybe he is the problem?
Maybe he is not being present with me?
What am I to do when he makes me feel anxious, scared, unsettled, fearful of losing him?
He separates from me and acts angry or irritated by me?
He puts up his armour and closes down, thus shuts me out and that triggers me. He should understand what he is doing to me. “
OMFG! my beautiful queens out there.
This sort of mindset and “feelings” is not of a QUEEN. 💃👑
They are of a woman who is handing over all her power to the ebbs and flows of being human and allowing herself to get triggered by such.
You talk of “owning your own shiz” yet you constantly point out how the world, ESPECIALLY your man is triggering you and not showing up for you how you need.
How best supports your “feelings.”
You say that you are strong,
that you are empowered,
that you are wanting to lean into him and have a partnership,
a lifelong love story.
Yet there you are wondering if it will hold and questioning every little hiccup.
👉YOU👈 are allowing, and I might go so far as to bolding say, you are inviting your old lovers, husbands, boyfriends, relationships and daddy issues and wounds into your love story.
In other words beautiful queen 👑…
You are looking for the gotchas!
Now, don’t get me wrong here.
Being aware about the red flags that can certainly fly is vitally important when you are starting a relationship and even a few years in.
No matter where you are in a relationship, if things change for no known reason and your man starts to act drastically different, then yeah PAY ATTENTION. 👀💥
Be aware and don’t let those rose tinted glasses mask potential major issues.
But here is the trouble my luv,
and what I see so often in couplehood of today,
We women are sewing red flags or pulling them out of old relationships hands and then trying to get our man to hold them and claim them as his own.
We are attempting to manifest old shiz into TODAY.
And for some crazy reason, we accept these false flags as reality.
We proclaim that they are real because of the way that we “feel.”🤨
WE GET CAUGHT UP IN OUR EMOTIONS, OUR FEELINGS AND FORGET REALITY.
We quickly overlook and side step everything that he is doing.
How he is showing up for us.
How his actions and words align.
And we point our fingers in fear to things that might be out of humanly control, or are simply just responses to stress, irritation, outside sources that have zero to do with our relationship or may cause threat in his eyes.
We want the knight in shining armour.
We want him to show up.
We want him to have our back and love us unconditionally.
But we have been taught that his protective nature is dangerous and controlling.
To steer away from men like that.
That these sort of men view women as property.
👉💃👑Here is the thing my beautiful queen…👈💃👑
He is a man.
His primal nature is there and if he is being true to himself,
then he MUST honor that primal nature.
He must “feel” that protective nature.
He must allow himself to be on the defense and ready for anything.
He must be linear in his thinking AND if you as his queen are to RESPECT him then you must get on board with all his masculine needs to be a man and lead his course the way that he knows best.
Not sayin’ that you “yes sir” him by any means.
That is not respect.
That is getting along,
that is being a peacekeeper at all cost,
that is not standing in your own power.
But what I am saying is to recognize that if you are with a man and he is accepting and loving of himself then he will most likely NOT give a crap about what the outside world says is right or not and he will be acting from his core and on purpose with the best interest of you, the relationship and himself.
And you my beautiful queen,
will often feel threatened by his leadership because you have been raised to believe that the massculine is unsafe.
You feel like he is trying to control you.
Rule you even.
This is where you have to come back to knowing yourself,
knowing him and being willing to look at how he is truly showing up.
And guess what…
If he is a wise man he will be doing all of this and more with you as well. He wants your love, that is for sure. He wants to feel your heart. He wants you to feel safe with him. He wants you to desire him because you want him not because of what he offers you.
💥But more than all this,
He wants your respect and acceptance. 👀💥
This is shown mainly through your commitment to him.
👊AND COMMITMENT DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR “FEELINGS.”👊
It takes discipline to commit.
Commit to your heart and soul.
Commit to love.
Commit to honor.
Commit to show up.
Commit to open your eyes and look past your fear and wounds.
Commit to not let your fleeting triggers destroy your love story.
Commit to him even when he is having a human moment.
Commit to him even when your “feelings” say “how dare he make me feel this way.”
You want to own your own shiz beautiful queen?
Well there ya’ go!
Have the discipline to commit to your love story and actually realize that it will require you make a stand in the face of everything and everyone else that you:
👑Want him.
👑Support him.
👑Love him.
👑Accept him.
👑Respect him.
👑Choose him.
That choice is a daily decision.
Do you get that?
You have to choose him, choose love, choose connection, choose to commit to the process of having a lifelong partnership and storybook love.
It will require work.
On you beautiful queen.
And it will require you to stop allowing yourself to be misguided by your “feelings” and “moods”.
Love is not a mood.
It is a commitment.
💃Are you truly ready to make that commitment and do the work required?
💃Perhaps it is time you asked yourself why you want to have a relationship and be in love anyway?
👊👊👊80%+ of modern “love based” relationships are based in needing validation.👊👊👊
“I need you to love me so that I can love myself and know I have value in this world.”
THIS IS NOT LOVE!
This is need.
Time to get clear on what you are wanting.
Not wanting.
And who you are.
Time to deep dive and heal your trauma my beautiful queen so you can write the love story that your soul desires once and for all.
Are you ready?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.