How I lost 18 Pounds in 4 months with Zero Effort, Only Doing One THING!

👉👉👉CAN A MAN BE THE BEST WEIGHT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM, SLEEP AGENT AND STRESS REDUCER OUT THERE?

 

The right man certainly can be.🤯

Today I speak to all the 👑queens out there who look in the mirror, do those little sidewards poses sucking in your tummies, checkin’ out how the booty looks in those pants, if the “girls” are perky looking today or if you need to grab the extra support bra. How your eyes look. Are you needing extra concealer, are the lines, soft wrinkles and exhaustion from life showing up to boldly or…💃💃💃

 

Today I am sharing a revelation with you that I have witnessed over the course of time in different ways in my own personal life and with friends and clients alike.

 

But when I tell you that from a VERY personal and real level, I have never been through such a beautiful transformation as the one that I am in currently in and it all stems from the love of the right man. Now, don’t get me wrong here…

it’s not actually his action of love that is doing anything.

Its not a massive amount of sex.

It’s not really anything other than I can put down all my armour with him and surrender.

 

🤯Whoa…

 

Did you catch that big scary word that most queens do not like to speak outloud?

 

SURRENDER.

 

Lay down our armour?🦸‍♀️

Put down the shields and sword?⚔️

Trust the MF masculine?

 

I know, I have gone off the deep end for some of you ladies out there. In todays time when we women are able to be self-sufficent and not need relationship, just have the sex we want, when we want and live our lives without the bartering with a man, the concept of surrendering to the masculine seems shear ludicrous and crazy.

 

I get it.

 

But are you fulfilled?

Sure you may believe that you are.

You got the career, the kids, the house, the money, the “freedom” but where do you allow yourself to be held?

Where do you allow your softness as the feminine to be revealed?

And if you are a coupled queen, do you truly let your king shine as a man or do you constantly overthrow his throne with your fear of being controlled by him?

 

Do you in essence cuckold your man?😲🤔🤯

You “give him sex” but you do not actually receive him or let him receive you?

 

Coupled or single,

What we desire in a relationship on both sides of the coin is connection.

Put simply connection DOES NOT come from two physical bodies engaging in sex or physical touch.

Connection comes from emotional bonding and trust.

Connection comes from being able to embody one’s self with deep presence and thus can actually feel at an emotional and energetic level their partner.

They are willing to reveal themselves fully.

They are willing to be seen authentically.

They are willing to be naked in every way with their lover.

 

These things can NEVER be achieved with our armour up.

These things cannot happen without surrender from our deepest heart center with our lover.

 

And as long as we choose to uphold that emotional/energetic armour in our sexing, in our relationships, with our intimacy we will also bear the effects of the armour which are actual weight of the physical body.

Stress of the mind.

Emotional overload and imbalances.

We will not be able to lay our heads down and truly rest.

Because the weight of life,

the guarding of our hearts,

and the exhaustion of us “acting out a role for survival” will only create restlessness of our souls.

 

When we enter a soulmate relationship,

a union with our true significant other we have zero desire to hold onto our swords and weapons. We do not want barriers to our heart.

 

👊👊👊We want UNION.

Zero space between.

 

And when we truly enter a relationship of this divine nature we also reap the rewards here in the physical if we are willing to surrender to this sort of depth and authentic connection in love.

 

WE STAND NAKED IN EVERY WAY BEFORE OUR SOULMATE.

 

And here we find our truest freedom.

Our most unbound love.

We discover who we really are,

and we open ourselves to him.

 

And he as a heart centered man,

strong in his masculine and purpose driven in his life understands that the way he penetrates your heart as his queen is also how he penetrates his world.

He must lean fully into your gates in love and trust of the feminine or he his lack of surrender will be felt and you will not be able to trust him.

 

However you my dear queen must remember that it is a two way street ALWAYS.

 

If you as a woman refuse to trust yourself,

if you refuse to get out of your mind space,

If you refuse to speak your truth,

if you refuse to take responsibility for your emotions, your orgasms, your choices, your triggers and your fear,

then he cannot lean into your gates in trust.

 

A king cannot lead his queen to the most delicious moments of connection and intimacy if his queen does not respect him in his masculine.  And a queen can never respect a king who does not know whom he is and who has healthy boundaries and a stable heart center.

 

So can a man be the best weight management system, sleep agent and stress reducer out there?

 

Yes the right man certainly can.

The right man + the right woman can conquer their world together.

They will thrive and live unbound in their love.

They will be healthy physically, emotionally, sexually, financially and spiritually.

 

Unfortunately it is my opinion from my over two decades of working with couples that the harsh reality is that about 85% of unions are not soul based but need based.

Survival based.

 

And it shows my dear queen in your face.

In your eyes.

In your body.

In how you speak of yourself.

In how you show up in your life.

 

I love you beautiful.

You are worthy of a king that is worthy of you.

 

But you have to first want to find him and then be willing to lay down your armour.

 

As Alway,

Loving you from 18 pounds lighter,  radiance in my face and eyes, a good night’s sleep in my mans arms and lovin’ the skin I am in with a surrendered heart to my King 👑

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Queens let’s chat about getting you back into your rightful throne.

Based in that beautiful heart center, let me show you the steps to putting down the armour with your soulmate or how to call in your soulmate if that’s where you are at and how to fully become embodied in love and orgasm today.

Participation in Life is an Accomplishment.

SOMETIMES I JUST NEED AN ADULT PARTICIPATION AWARD…

 

Can you relate?

Do you sometimes just wish that someone would say,

“Hey I see ya doing all that adulting stuff over there, good job!”

 

Sometimes do you just wish that someone would acknowledge your pain and struggle with you? Or say hey, life is not fair.

 

Do you wish that your partner or friend would just recognize that you are off a bit, read your mind, or just pat you on the head per se?

 

Acknowledgement.

We all want it.

We need it to a degree.

Or so we are raised these days to believe.

 

We live in a society of adults that were raised with their mama’s praising them for everything, running to their side every time they got a bang on the knee, not allowing them to feel the pain, move through it, problem solve it and “grow a pair” of their own.

 

We live in a world today where we don’t have winners and losers.

We have a good job for showing the f-ck uppers!

 

Participation in life is an accomplishment it seems.

And because of this piss poor upbringing we believe that we are entitled to life handing us something without us having to do the actual work for it. 

Or feel the pain in the gain to achieve it.

Or to build the muscles to have the strength to succeed in anything.

 

We have a society of adults who are overgrown infants wanting to suckle at the bottle of life everytime they don’t get the recognition that they “believe” is theirs.

 

And this leads to tons of issues.

 

This weekend I read an article on just this and as I sat there with my youngest children who are both boys, screaming and fighting with each other, running onto the play set yelling back at me,

“Mom, mom…. look at me… aren’t you proud of me climbing up the stairs, sliding down the slide, being this high up…”

 

Wanting recognition for participating in being alive, in being a child.

I wondered how many parents out there would say,

“Good job honey, I am so proud of you. You are such a big kid.”

 

Pat.

Pat.

Pat.

 

The majority would, right?

Maybe you would even.

 

I did not.

 

I glanced at them, smiled slightly and made eye contact.

That’s all they got from me.

 

They had nothing to get a big pat on the head for,

and the last thing I want to raise are adults that believe that this world owes them something, that their happiness and centeredness or feeling of being lovable or worthy of blessings should ever come from an outside source of being acknowledged and patted on the ego.

 

Now you may very well differ and that is great if you do.

Maybe you believe that constant acknowledgement and recognition, false awards and making sure that no one’s feelings get hurt or that no one whacks another a little around in a good tossel or a race is the way that life’s supposed to work.

But I ask you this…

 

where else in life does this happen?

If you look at any other living creature out there on this planet of ours, where does life baby you? where does it pat you on the head and give you a participation award, go light on you because you are struggling or have gone through whatever sh*t?

 

The answer is no where.

 

Now you might say, well Kendal we are not wild animals.

We are advanced with intellect and we live in a civilized society.

 

For the most part yes.

But it’s a weak society.

A society that allows its liberties and freedoms to be stripped from it because everyone is running scared.

Because no one knows how to put in the elbow grease or take a MF hit on the field of life.

 

Our society takes offense to EVERYTHING.

 

You are damned no matter what in today’s world.

If you don’t say it politically correct on whatever given day it is then F-ck! You are ruined for life.

If you don’t make sure that you are always taking care of everyone else’s feelings and thoughts, views and attitudes well then you are horrible and self-centered.

Uncaring.

Not kind.

 

Have boundaries just not with him, her, her, or him.

Take care of yourself unless it interferes with you taking care of me.

Live your truth unless I don’t like it.

You are powerful unless I deem others because you are not doing life the way I think you should.

 

And oh yeah, pat me on the MF head for being the best friend, the best husband or wife, the best lover, the best… the best….

 

You know that you could not do life without me.

So tell me so, damn it!

 

P-A-T M-E O-N T-H-E H-E-A-D!

 

Tell me that for showing up this morning, breathing and just being here that I am good. 

That I you owe me.

That you see me.

 

Recognize me.

 

Well folks….

That’s not reality.

Life supports the strong.

Life supports the bold.

Life supports those who support themselves.

Life supports the ones who don’t need the recognition and can just put their heads down and do the damn thing they need to do because they know that they need to do it, because that damn thing, is the damn thing that scares the sh*t out of them and their soul is pushing them to do, no matter anyone else.

Especially all those participation award folks.

 

 

And when you gain recognition and awards by just doing the damn thing, guess what?

 

You sure AF don’t hand over accolaids to others who just showed up on the MF sidelines of life that day.

 

Demanding that they have a right to your time, your money, your love, your space, or your energy in any fashion.

 

There is a BIG difference between recognition and love I want to add. That is there is a big difference between authentic love and recognition.

 

And a major issue with this participation award society outside of training us that we are owed a win when we have not earned it, or we are safe in the face of danger because someone has always saved us, or that we always will have someone running to our side to pick up the pieces and kiss our boo-boo’s when a true adult sucks it up and know that they have to hold themselves in all ways the majority of the time and that it is no one else’s responsibility to save us, make us happy or feel safe.

 

But on top of all of this vitally important life success training that is NOT happening, and the lack of character building that our society is struggling with or ability to KNOW WTF we are as individuals in any area of life without someone else leading us first and telling us that it’s okay, we have a society believing that recognition is a sign of love.

 

That applauds equal love.

 

So far from the truth we have fallen.

This is why so many people are lost and will fall for false love, end up being used and abused, and trying to constantly be something for someone else that they are not.

This is why so many are out of soul alignment.

They misjudge what true love is and they do not know themselves.

They are blocked from their core.

From their strength.

 

 

I ask you, how important is it that you get the pat on the head?

Do you believe that recognition and constant approval and noticing of the fact that you exist is actual love?

 

Do you find your strength here?

Or can you feel your weakness?

 

Time to wake the f-ck up my love.

You are worthy.

You are lovable.

You are valuable.

You are beautiful.

 

Recognize these facts in your core.

Stop needing the false approval of this world.

 

You must choose if you are a sheep or if you are a lion.

 

Life favors one,

the other is blinded by the wool it chooses to hide behind.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

kendalwilliams.com

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS!

THE ABSENCE OF WHO I AM, REALLY SUCKS! 🤯🤯🤯

 

Hating on self?

Or maybe you say that you don’t hate yourself.

You don’t dislike yourself even,

you are just frustrated.

Irritated.

Down on self because you are not feeling great in your skin.

 

And I get it.

I truly do.

We all go through these times.

 

And hey here is a little secret for you….🤫

I am currently in one of those moments in life where I am a bit down on myself. I am not in this moment in love with my body.

I am not in love with how I am feeling in my own skin,

and I am having issues looking myself in the mirror.

and even feeling sexy.

 

I sorta feel a bit grossed out by myself.

The way I got here is not really important.

And that is a tough concept to get through our human minds,

because we want to have our reasons, we want to analyze and figure out the reason behind the problem.

But that will never get the solving that we desire of the problem.

Because we are stating that we have a problem to begin with instead of just letting go of all this self-judgement and turning back to our truth.

Now it is important to be aware of habit changes,

of sabotaging thing that we have introduced into our lives,

into our thoughts and emotions,

that may be contributing to the support of this self-disgust.

The reality is that you can say that you love yourself all damn day long but if you are not loving your body enough to get it moving and consuming healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep,

plus if you are choosing to stay in toxic relationship that are not feeding your heart and soul,

and you are not leaning into YOU…

then you simply are lieing your f-cking ass off to yourself about loving yourself.

 

You have to fall in love with yourself.

You have to own up to your power and stop making yourself so damn small.

Stop fearing the impressive, expansive person that YOU ARE.

 

And that my love is why you are so full of this yuckiness to yourself.

👉The reason that you don’t like yourself is because you’re not up to speed with yourself. 🛸🤯💃

 

You got that love?

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MARVELOUS.

You were created powerful, worthy and came into this world knowing such,

but it got stolen from you by the “good” lessons that your parents and the adults in your life taught you,

what society and school/church showed you,

and you started to believe that you were not powerful, worthy and abundant.

 

You started to believe that your light was dim.

and this means that you let go of being marvelous.

And that my dear was YOU.

 

So now the absence of you, really sucks!

It really does not have you feeling your best.

You are struggling to look into the mirror or make eye contact.

You are feeling frumpy and negative,

hating on your fleshy suit and hating on who you have allowed yourself to become.

 

When the answer to your problem…

if you want to call it that…

cause us humans love to solve problems, right?

 

Is that the reason that you are not liking yourself,

let alone in love with yourself ( an me too here),

is because you’re not ALLOWING yourself to be yourself.

You have cast your truth out.

 

And you sit back in your disgust over who you are right now,

and you maintain powerful focus on what needs to change, needs fixed, where you f-cked it all up at.

 

The worst thing that you can do though is just this.

Holding yourself in focus and finding a critical thought about you.

Because that action,

that manifestation that you are creating,

 

TAKES YOU AWAY FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

And you are powerful AF!

You are deserving.

You are beautiful and strong.

You are courageous and loving.

You are intuitive and caring.

You are worthy and abundant.

 

That is who you are.

That is what you are to be living, RIGHT NOW!

 

And it is up to only you love to take yourself from this absence of self and get the f-ck lined back up.

Synchronize to your TRUTH.

YOUR SOUL.

 

GOD.

Here is where you will fall in love with you and become mesmerized by staring into your own eyes,

lost in the sea of you.

You will be captivated at your heart and your beauty and you will not just think that you are worthy,

you will KNOW without a doubt that you are,

because your soul knows.

Your souls never has questioned your worthiness or your power.

That is why you are feeling so bad love,

because you are questioning what your soul deeply is certain of.

 

And when you come back to YOU and who YOU REALLY ARE,

well that is when whatever the problems you are having with your body and life right now, will just wash away with ease.

 

Time to start loving on the most important person in your world wouldn’t you say?

 

And STOP trying to be all this or that for everyone else that is not you.

 

With all my love, beautiful.

Remember Who You Are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to know more about living an abundant life?

Want to know the secrets to overcoming these little obstacles that can turn into mountains if left in the corners of our minds and rustling around in our energy? Reach out to me about my Asskickery Month of Private 1:1 Global Coaching now, where I will share with you how to overcome and have success in one subject area of your life in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

They Are Called Your Emotions For A Reason.

THEY ARE CALLED YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A REASON.

 

Truth Bomb Here.

Are you like most of the world that believe that others are responsible for your emotional state,

for the feelings that YOU are having about any subject in your life?

 

Or are you self-aware enough and proactive enough to understand that they are YOUR emotions, meaning that YOU and only you are responsible for them.

 

No one else can make you feel any way.

You get to choose how you feel about something.

You get to choose how you react to something.

You CHOOSE.

 

This is by far one of the most challenging things to grasp in life,

We are taught that we need to act, speak and even think through everything in ways to not harm or cause anyone else to feel bad.

We are told that we are not good enough,

that we are too much,

that we are RESPONSIBLE for how others feel about themselves,

about situations and how they perceive us.

 

And yes,

to a degree we are responsible.

Our actions and words most certainly can trigger other’s into a negative or positive spiral.

Our actions do contribute to how we are perceived.

 

But we are not solely responsible for another’s feels, views or perceptions.

 

We each have an ability to be proactive in our thinking,

which leads to us being proactive in our feeling,

and to pause before we assume anything.

 

Becoming self-aware means to become authentic with self.

It means that we are willing to get real and raw with ourselves, and to acknowledge that anothers words or actions have only triggered an old program or wound,

and once triggered that we are now feeling this old emotion as though it is current.

 

The insecurities that we hold about ourselves,

the hatred that we have for ourselves,

the self- judgement, and shame…

All of these play a role in our emotions that can get triggered by an event or person.

 

But these internal landscapes that we all have,

are not another’s responsibility to cautiously thread through.

It is each of our own responsibility to self and to our lives,

to do the deep personal work to heal and become aware of.

 

If we do not do our own inner work,

then we are destined to walk through life feeling disempowered,

feeling a victim,

not understood and always attacked.

We will continue to view life as though we have no control and point fingers in blame at those we love,

at life experiences,

our governments, churches, schools, work.

 

However, when we choose to get real with self,

to practice self- love, healthy boundaries, knowing our desire’s, speaking our truth and RELEASING OURSELVES from the responsibility of everyone else’s feelings,

as well as taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions,

we become EMPOWERED.

 

By doing this, we walk through life with less shame, guilt, blame, judgement on self or others and we approach life from a healthier state of relating.

 

We can now speak in confidence our needs,

state clearly our yes and no and also accept another’s

without falling into an old wound or fear and needing to control an outcome.

 

We release the world and especially our loved one’s from the driver’s seat of our lives.

 

They are called your emotions for a reason.

They are all your’s.

 

And when we had them over to someone else,

we hold an expectation that the other person will and “should” always put us before them.

 

And if they do not,

then we are hurt and feel as though they do not love us, that they are selfish and heartless,

that we are not safe with them.

 

When in fact,

what we are asking for by turning over our power to another,

by making them responsible for our emotions is what is self-centered.

 

And if the other does always hold us before them,

guarding us and never letting us feel any uncomfort,

then what they are doing is hiding themselves from us.

The relationship is NOT authentic.

We have successfully required this other person, to mute themselves, change who they are, pretend at all cost and hide from us and themselves,

so that we can feel secure.

 

How is this love?

How is this respect?

How is this authentic relating?

 

 

It’s NOT.

 

Life is a risk.

24/7 you risk if you are breathing.

 

Security…

Safety…

It’s an illusion.

 

Love is risky.

And you can choose to lean into it and enjoy its bliss however long it lasts,

or you can shut it down and try and control it so that you can live in a mirage for however long it lasts.

One allows for growth and truth.

The other, causes bitterness and wounds that may never get repaired between people.

 

Which do you choose?

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can move into a truly authentic, loving relationship and heal the wounds of your past so you can have a F-ck Yes life and relationship?

 

Message me today for deet’s on global and local coaching now.

 

The Power of Facebook Memories….What it means to your F-ck Yes! Life.

You gotta love Facebook memories.
 
Don’t you?
I mean they make us laugh,
Make us smile,
Make us feel our hearts tug,
Bring up sadness,
Missing,
And appreciation.
 
Facebook memories….
This last weekend I have been off camping in a tipi out in Hawkins Texas. Its been a lovely experience with my youngest two children and boyfriend.
The pictures that are capturing all these fantastic and fun memories are something to be grateful for.
And if you are a scrapbooker like myself,
(Well in truth I have not scrapbooked for a decade, but I take pictures with the concept and image of one day getting them scrapbooked)
 
Then you can for sure appreciate the memories being stored for later creative projects.
 
And then there are those darn Facebook memories…
 
One year ago today….you were at this Jimmy Buffet Concert.
 
Four years ago today…. you were strolling down the beach in Jamaica with your ex.
And you were hiking Dunns Falls and eating lunch at Margaritavil.
 
Seven years ago today…. you were enjoying a romantic dinner and sexy time with another ex that you thought the relationship would last a lifetime with for how in love you were.
 
Eleven years ago…. your children were calling you a hippie mama and you were proud of the title.
 
Lol… just some memories from my life on today.
 
But you know what I noticed?
As I looked through all the pictures….
 
The authentic smiles and connection.
The joy and laughter.
The love.
 
Although fleeting,
And ever changing,
It was there and it is here today as well.
And for this I am grateful 🙏.
 
The people in our storyline tend to change,
As humans can be quiet fickle and our egos and hearts tend to whisk us all about.
 
But when you choose to focus on what matters most,
The love and connection.
The beautiful memories and moments shared,
Then the players in our stories are always perfect.
They are there for a reason in that season of our lives.
And when we can embrace that truth,
It makes our lives so much more fluid and enjoyable.
 
As I looked back on the memories of today over the last decade,
I felt a host of emotions.
I felt my heart expand and sink.
I looked into the eyes of these now strangers,
And asked silently,
What happened here?
I also saw clearly that it was not all bad,
It was not all fake,
It was not time, energy, love, LIFE wasted.
 
Not at all.
It was time shared in love.
And this is my message to you today,
See the beauty of your past and the players in it.
See the love and the life we’ll spent.
Because when you do this…
You capture more of this.
You allow more good times.
You make yourself more available to living in love.
To receiving joy, connection and love.
 
And doesn’t that sound better then looking at those years gone by from a feeling of bitterness, anger and loss?
 
I mean think about what you desire.
Look at what you want for.
Are you living in the energy of it now?
Can you feel it present in your past?
Do you know how to manifest it into your tomorrow?
 
By seeing and feeling it ALIVE in you now.
And looking for the evidence of it in your memories and in the makings of today.
 
Be in gratitude for your memories.
For your storylines and for those who danced the dance with you.
 
It is perfect just the way it is.
As are you.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers ”
Message me for deets on how to get the most out of your forever and live a F-ck Yes Life now.

The Only Question You Ever Need Ask Yourself to Create Your Dream Life.

How do you define your reality?

 

Many years ago I was attending a study group consistently focused on the technology of the soul.

In my study, I was consistently asked to witness my ego,

to see my shadow side and to know that I could never destroy it. That it was going to grow and expand side by side to my light, to my soul.

 

It was revealed to me in this four year in depth training that all of my suffering was by my choice. That I could let my ego feel the pain and recognize it as such,

or I could have soul damage and wounding by not letting my soul shine and speak its truth.

 

Now this may be a difficult conversation for some to understand. And this particular musing is not going to go into depth on it as I would do with a private client of mine,

However, the point that I wish to share with you here is one of great importance if you are among the many in the world who crave for a better life.

 

We get to choose.

The bible referred to this as free will.

And what is meant by this is that we have the creative ability, the power to define our reality through our will.

 

To define our purpose through our will means to focus our desire.

To understand that we are the co-creator of the life that we are living and that our consciousness and perspective on our life experience is what creates it.

 

The life that you are living right now,

did not occur right now.

It was created by the thoughts you have been thinking,

and your feelings toward those thoughts.

The pictures that you have been day dreaming or day nightmaring about.

 

Your reality has been manifested by your focus.

By your will.

 

And here is where the tough shiz happens.

It’s the reality check about your reality.

 

If you want to have a flowing, life based in ease,

in beauty, and love.

Where you are not attracting the drastic contrasting situations and experiences, but instead perhaps work out your contracting visions quickly with a thought or inner conversation that you let go of quickly,

then you MUST get real about who is creating your reality.

 

So back to the question of today.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

If I were to ask you to list three to five words or sentences that define your reality what would you say?

 

Perhaps you should take a moment right now to jot those down. And once you have them in writing, in front of your face where you cannot argue what your words are,

I want you to ask if this reality that you are defining is:

 

👉 Real – are you living it now. Are you feeling it at your core if it is not currently manifest.

👉Is this reality supportive of your best life.

👉your truth and beliefs or someone else’s.

 

 

A Lot of the time we lie to ourselves.

We look at inquiry like what I have given you here today,

and we know what we “should” be answering and so because we view it as a test,

and everyone wants to do good on the test,

we answer what we know or think the “right” responses are instead of what our truth is.

 

And here is how you can tell if you are doing this.

Look at what is showing up in your world consistently.

If what you are writing and what you have showing up are polar different,

then guess what?

 

It’s time for a REALITY CHECK,

because the last one you did was not real.

You were telling fibs to yourself love,

because it hurt.

It hurt to see your truth. It hurt to see the brutalities that you may have been painting for yourself.

It hurt that what is showing up is not as bad as what you keep painting and you just don’t feel worthy of a good life so you gotta create some drama,

so you paint some tales in your head about struggle.

Perhaps, you have a bunch of people in your life that are struggling and you just don’t fit in with them,

so you shrink yourself and make up a shitty tale to match,

to fit in.

Not realizing that if you keep telling yourself these crap tales that you will over time start to believe them at a core level and manifest them.

 

Or….

 

Maybe you are painting a beautiful picture,

one where you have the love,

the money,

the health and opportunities that you want,

but what keeps showing up is nothing of the sort.

And you wonder why.

And the why is simple luv,

You don’t believe that you are worthy of the pictures and statements that you are creating.

 

And what you have materializing is what you believe you are worthy of.

 

This is that shadow self that I was speaking of earlier,

this is where we have to let ourselves feel the pain,

but let it be held by our ego’s.

 

That simply means to step out of the comfort of doing what you always do which is, make excuses and come up with reasons,

and in turn have the will to move toward what you want for.

This will require you to consistently witness your ego,

witness your fear,

witness your desire to control,

witness your foul concepts of self and others,

watch the words that you speak and that you chatter on with in your head and how they make you feel,

and consistently ask yourself if it is true or not.

 

You must be willing to call yourself out of the darkness and into the light.

 

And it is going to hurt like a motherf-cker luv.

It is.

 

But you are worth it.

 

Your other choice is to let your soul suffer and carry with it the wounds of not living the life that you were called to live,

to continue to shrink yourself,

no matter the reason,

and to never taste the glory that you were born to enjoy.

 

How do you define your reality?

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

My Revelation from Putting Ice Cubes in My Vagina.

❄️❄️❄️ I put five ice cubes and peppermint oil in my vagina last night…❄️❄️❄️

 

and then I mounted my man who had no clue of what he was getting entered into….

 

Surprise!

Aren’t surprises fun.

They certainly can be.

And being playful in our sexing is required for gourmet experiences.

 

But sometimes, we enter our partners and selves alike into experiences that may take us to depths of meeting new aspects of self that were not anticipated.

 

Sometimes our surprises back fire and cause a shut down,

a turning away, or trigger trauma from past wounds that we had forgotten about or did not think to link to current moments of play or joy.

 

Sometimes we end up freezing up emotionally in the midst of an experience and find ourselves trapped in a land of desire,

but not knowing how to express it or what to do with it.

 

We humans are not only fickle,

but fragile.

 

And we often do not give ourselves enough compassion or grace to process our feelings and love on our wounds from a higher perspective,

we in turn beat ourselves up more,

and build up more barriers of shame and bitterness,

dropping our hearts deeper into a frozen state of hibernation,

so that we do not have to deal with the emotions that surge fear through us to the core.

 

Freezing up is never a good idea,

emotionally speaking.

 

Emotional frostbite is a thing.

And it is a thing that is about as pleasant to move through as its physical twin.

It causes a numbing,

a burning,

and massive constriction of our flow.

It prevents us from being flexible in love, life, thinking and feeling.

It locks us down to the creation of the life that we crave for.

And when we sit with emotional frostbite,

any amount of warmth burns and scares us.

 

But that is what the prescription is to heal it.

That, that we fear.

That. that burns,

that hurts to lean into.

It is the defrosting of our core.

It is the warming of our hearts,

and listening to our soul.

 

And it is activated with DESIRE.

 

But desire feels too provocative a thing when you are frozen.

Desire feels edgy, feels dangerous and makes us have to deal with our fears.

 

And fear stands firm in its cover of guilt and shame, jealousy even.

 

Fear yells at us to control the situation.

Fear tells us that we must have expectations.

Fear wraps us up in its belief of scarcity.

 

And it tells us that desire is evil.

 

It tells us to not listen to desire,

to not feel its warm embrace.

Fear wants us to remain “safe” and stay frozen.

 

Deny.

Deny your soul.

Deny your heart.

Deny desire.

 

Because that is where desire is birthed from.

It comes from your truth,

to heal you,

to guide you,

to defrost you.

and open you up to who you truly are.

 

And without it….

You will never know the wonders of this life.

You will never fully tap into your purpose.

You will never feel the depths of love ripping you open into surrender.

You will never see the light of God in your rapture,

and you will never live an expanded life.

 

No.

Nothing is possible without desire.

But we must make sure that our desire is based in our heart,

not in our ego.

For the desire of our ego, may mask itself as our hearts,

may ride the very waves of our heartbeat even,

and make us feel as though we cannot exist without it,

but from this sort of desire we feel its need,

its need to control.

It needs to master us.

Its need to force.

to be hasty in the gaining of our desires.

And it does this through the emotions of worry, fear,

envy, judgement, bitterness and anxiety.

 

Where desire that comes from our heart,

does none of this.

It only defrosts our streams and rivers,

bares its truth through love, compassion and excitement,

releases us from our once thought eternal winter,

and renews our hunger to live.

 

Neither feel safe.

But desire from the heart is soul led.

It is what each of us must step into and embrace with eagerness if we are to ever know God.

Know life and love.

And heal our wounds.

 

It is through this desire that we learn to embody ourselves once again and trust in our hearts.

 

It is here in the warmth of our desire that we awaken to our worthiness and greatness.

 

And it is from this eruption of desire that KNOW OURSELVES.

 

But if you choose to ignore,

choose to hide behind the shame and guilt,

the excuses and your pride,

then you choose to remain in an eternal state of cryonics.

And you can bear hope to bring life back to yourself at some point, but in order to do it my love….

 

You must choose it.

You must choose to defrost and to allow yourself to feel again.

 

To feel everything.

And know that it is perfect.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Don’t let another moment pass living in a chronic state of frozen.

Limiting your life experience,

limiting your love and connection,

limiting your abundance.

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

It is time that you say YES to you.

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

TO BE SOFT… What Does It Mean To Your Happiness?

TO BE SOFT IS TO BE POWERFUL. – Rupi Kaur
 
Last year I went out with my second oldest child, my daughter Rebekah to get tattoo’s. She had this beautiful quote that she was getting putting on the inside of her arm that her boyfriend had ended a love letter with. It was such lovely, powerful words of encouragement and I could easily understand why she desired to keep them for her lifetime.
 
I love ink. And getting inked is a THING.
If you are into ink, you get it.
If not, oh well, I am sorry.
 
SO I decided that I would get a tattoo as well, but I always want my tattoo’s to have meaning of some sort and I had not given much thought to this moment. There we were driving to the artist discussing what I should do. When Bek says mom,
“To be soft is to be powerful. – This is so you mom.”
 
I was bewildered, I do admit.
I felt like I sucked at being soft.
I felt like soft was scary.
I felt like soft was bad somehow, that I should be ashamed of it even.
I questioned what she meant by this.
And she explained,
“Mom you are always there for us. You always let us see you and you are always working on yourself. You make mistakes and you allow for our mistakes. You are the strongest person.”
 
What she was expressing to me was that I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL LIFE.
 
The good.
The bad.
The painful.
The joy and orgasm.
The sweetness.
The bitterness.
The meh.
The void.
The fear.
The fullness.
 
I feel it all.
And I KNOW the BEAUTY of it, because I allow myself to experience it all.
 
And so, she was correct in her statement and much like her that day, I needed to keep with me the reminder of my power in my FEELS.
 
Through the course of this lifetime,
I have wanted so badly to run and hide from what I was feeling.
I have wanted to mask it,
cover it up and not allow it to be seen by self or others.
And when I did allow it to be seen or felt,
I was shamed of my humanness around my fears, my joy, my pain and void.
Something always seemed amiss in my feeling,
it was this voice in my head,
telling me that I should not be feeling this way.
It was this same voice telling me I was weak, pathetic and hopeless.
That it was this sort of crap that kept me disconnected from people.
That I was too much to handle.
I was broken.
 
 
And so I worked ever so hard to toughen up.
I focused on breathing in my emotions and “building a strong house” to hold them in.
In the belief that by not revealing them,
by holding them,
that I was being emotionally mature.
 
LMAO!!!!!
 
Looking back at this I feel silly.
Sweet in my desire to be mature with my emotions,
strong for the people in my life,
true.
But so wrong in truth,
this way of being,
of living was not LIVING.
It was hiding from life.
It was avoidance of who I was,
it was a shrinking of my heart center,
a closing to the one’s that I love.
It was a hardening or callousing of my ability to connect,
to be seen and to see another.
In this stifling of feeling,
I lost my ability to have intimacy with life, with others and with self.
I SHRUNK as a human.
 
And in this I lost.
I was the BIGGEST looser.
Because all I wanted was the intimacy,
the love,
the connection.
To be received and to hold space for another.
And what I gifted myself with in my “strength of holding my emotions so tight” was to shield LIFE.
 
The end result outside of loss of intimacy and ability to relate, connect and love, let alone be authentically compassionate or forgive self or others,
also led me to a shut down in my allowance to self to open and receive abundance.
 
My lesson in feeling,
was that in order to have my desires manifest in any fashion,
I needed to allow myself to “SOFTEN INTO THE FLOW OF FEELING LIFE.”
 
That my power came from this space,
You see in order for you to be able to KNOW YOUR PATH,
to FEEL what is right and good for YOU,
in order for you to be able to TRUST your judgement on any decision,
You must FEEL Your emotions, your physical reactions, your truth about it.
 
This means that if you are calloused to FEELING LIFE,
you will consistently make wrong choices for YOUR LIFE.
 
And this is not what living is about.
This is just existing.
 
And that is the WHY that you have been questioning.
WHY AM I NOT HAPPY?
Why does nothing make me happy?
 
Simple….
You are not FEELING LIFE.
 
Want to change this?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching Today and level up your life experience to one of FEELING.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
https://kendalwilliams.com/micro-consult/

Not Responsible for Your Emotions.

Oh love, why do you blame yourself for all that others have going on?

Why do you take responsibility for their emotions, 
their happiness, their joy?

Why do you stand there in all your power and let them deplete you so that they can feel stable yet again?

Oh love, this does nothing for you.
And even though it may appear for some split second that you are helping those you care about to be better, 
you are not truly assisting them.

You teach them nothing by your soothing of what is not yours to soothe.

And you know at your core how dangerous this soothing can be for your own well being, 
and for the relationship as well.

But, it is hard to not try and fix. 
It is difficult to say no. 
It feels harsh to state the truth, 
that it is NOT your responsibility for their whirlwind emotions. 
For their ebbs and flows. 
Their highs and lows. 
Their over thinking and worry.

Sure you can change who you are. 
You can say things as that they want to hear. 
You can pretend to be a way that is not in truth to your soul. 
And you can pretend. 
You can be that pretender and give them the “love” that they think is love and think they want from you.

That they deserve,
or that you should do if you truly cared. 
Truly loved them.

You could change every facit of yourself to meet the needs of another, 
and at the end of your attempts you would discover that they were still lost and now you are too.

And that is all that you would give them. 
The loss of who you are. 
The loss of your own soul
and direction. 
And you too my love, 
would then be like those that want this of us.
Lost, sad and masking.
Afraid to look deep within. 
And find what all of us must, ‘if we are to discover our truth, 
our happiness.

That my love is the simple, harsh reality. 
That no one on this planet is here to please another, 
other than the self. 
It is not your life requirement, 
to be responsible for another’s peace of mind, 
happiness or feeling love.

Just like it is not up to them to do this for you.
These things are ONLY found from within. 
And until they are found, 
by the seeker himself, 
deep within the caverns of their own mind and heart, 
they will never feel complete, 
never feel safe or without worry. 
They will continue to question the love offered, 
and look for every reason that it is not correct.

Yes my love, 
it is the truth of this matter, 
that no matter how much you love another, 
no matter how much you show up in truth, 
no matter how much you give of self, 
that you can never heal another.

You can never save them from their own demons. 
As false as they may be to you, 
these fears will continue to arise, 
until they learn how to shine the light into their own darkness, 
to soothe their own fears without destroying the world around them, 
and embrace that love that they believe they feel for you, 
because that love is what is inside awaiting them.
That love for you my dear, 
is only a sign of the greatness of love that they have for self once uncovered and embraced in its glory.

And it is this love that must be triggered from within and seen for it’s truth.

It is this peace, 
this joy, 
this feeling of bliss and freedom, 
that we experience in our relating that we must see for what it is.

It is HERE.
HERE with us always. 
It has NOTHING to do with another. 
It has EVERYTHING to do with self. 
The relationship is but only awakening us to it.
But, we never loose it. 
We are never without it.

And we are most certainly never responsible for managing another’s emotional or mental state.

No, my love. 
It is not your concern. 
It does not mean you are bad. 
Or evil. 
Or not loving. 
It simply means that you hold priority for the most valuable person in your life. 
That person who looks back at you from the mirror.

So keep stating your truth. 
Keep sharing your heart ,
and your soul.

Never allow another, 
no matter how far they crash, 
to steal you from yourself, 
in hopes of saving them.

You are worth so much love my dear. 
You are worth all that you carry in your heart. 
A thousand lifetimes worth. 
So step forward in faith my love, 
Step forward and keep CLAIMING YOU!

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

This is what you want in a partner.

From Guest Author Addison Bell

It’s all fun and games until you actually have to deal with the other side.

You sit and desire certain characteristics of those in your life, and especially out of a romantic partner. Yet, I daresay that many times you are asking for a mess of contradictions.

Its easy to look at some aspirational values and personality traits and think that this is exactly what you want to pull into your life but if you aren’t careful you will end up pulling in exactly what you don’t desire.

And the funny thing is that your Ego would probably throw a tantrum and say, “But I do do desire it, I do want that, I can hold that person” but in the end you really can’t handle it.

You might desire someone who is playful and has that flirty personality that makes you feel all bubbly inside… until they are flirty and playful with others and it smacks right into your jealousy and trust issues.

You might desire someone that knows how to act like a “lady” or “gentleman” when you are out in public and can hold the proper level of poise… until they are always poised and never able to let go of that persona (even in the bedroom).

You might desire someone that has their own life and is more free flowing with the relationship. Someone that isn’t that awful word “clingy”… until they can’t be there and support you the way that you need and you never truly feel held.

And really any trait that you desire in a partner is going to have the opposite side.

It is pretty commonly known from a psychological perspective that in relationships the aspects that often attract you to your partner are also the very same aspects that can cause the greatest struggle.

There is that old saying about how men should want a lady in the streets and a freak in the streets.

We want our partners to be both sides of a coin….
And most of the time it can mean the destruction of a relationship!

Now, thankfully we are complex beings and so are not one thing or the other. If you take the above example of having a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets… I know many women that are able to present one aspect of themselves when out at dinner parties and then turn around and have a mind-blowing sexual evening with a partner. Both are authentically them and both are aspects of who they ae.

Though these women have also worked through the stereotypes that come with both sides of the coin and know where they are authentically.

Though, lets be honest, yes I mean really honest here…

Most people are NOT doing deep personal work on a daily basis. And most people are not willing to look at when their ego’s arise in relationships. So when an aspect that is a turn on in one sense becomes a turn-off… we blame that other person. We don’t look at ourselves and where WE might be the ones that have unspoken expectations.

Many times we even struggle to admit where we struggle in relationships and where our ego’s simply can’t handle something.

You want a partner that is free, playful, open-minded but then when this pushes on your jealousy, your need for attention, and your belief that there is a certain way to “do” relationships…

Can you actually look yourself in the face or actually look that other person and say, “I don’t want you to be so free”. “I wish you weren’t so playful”, “I want you to be open-minded but just not about this topic”.

Most would look at the other person as the issue and not be able to truly say… “I am not able to hold this aspect of you”.

Again, we are complex and hold so many intricacies. Each person, situation, and experience will present a different expression of self. So what fits and is a desire with one partner or relationship could be entirely different than what fits and is a desire in another relationship.

In truth it all comes back (as always) to self and looking deep within ones self authentically. What are we desiring in our relationships? And then looking at if we truly could hold that characteristic in another if it presented to us. Where would our ego get shaken? What are non-negotiable in our relationships?

If you want freedom… how free?
If you want play… how playful?
If you want stable… how stable?
If you want sexy… how sexy?

What can you truly, honestly, at your core hold?
Get honest with yourself! And start doing your inner work to help you be able to look within when situations arise.

And more than even that…
Get honest with self when someone presents something that truly won’t fit with you and your life. Don’t pretend to be okay with something that is a hard NO. This will only push you further and further out of alignment from self.

Most importantly LOVE self first and foremost. When we do this we are most able to be authentic, honest, and love another. Even if the way we are loving that other is by letting them go and be who they are authentically.

Sending you all…

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison