46 Things I Have Learned to Appreciate in My 46 Years of Life
It’s my birthday week and I have been giving a ton of thought as to what this next cycle around the sun means to my life and what I want to have come from it. One of the main things that I have learned in my time here on this planet is the power and importance of appreciation. Often, we claim that we are grateful for things but much like many other areas of our lives it is nothing more than easily stated words without the emotional attachment. If asked I have found that many people struggle to even define what gratitude feels like in their bodies. We may even be able to attach the sensation of guilt for not having as many gratitude’s as we believe we are to identify better than the feeling of appreciation that we have for the simplest of things.
When I am working with someone on empowerment or overcoming obstacles even in their relationship, I focus them on the law of appreciation. Next to love itself, appreciation is the highest emotional frequency that we can tune into to alter our state of being and the course of our lives.
Which is why today I want to share with you some of the key appreciations that I have learned to really slow down and absorb as much as possible to establish the foundation, transformational changes, direction and overall harmony and bliss that I desire in my life and I am sure that many people do as well.
- When my partner cooks dinner and has it ready for us just as I walk through the door after a long day of work and errands. Once upon a time I expected this in life or was expected to do this – today I realize the beauty in this simple act and do not take it for granted but value what is being given and shared.
- Unexpected “just because” flowers being given. One of my favorite things ever! Fresh cut flowers and even better when my loved one gives them just because they want to see a smile on my face and beauty in my life. Again, I used to expect this from a partner or for a birthday, believing it should be something that was mandatory but today I view it differently and as a gift from one’s heart that says “ I thought of you today.”
- The look of love and appreciation from my partner when I am busy working, cleaning or just reading. I adore catching my partner watching me – it makes my heart and soul smile and it is nothing too small of a thing to be taken in with the love that comes up from his depths in those moments.
- My child grabbing me out of nowhere and giving me a big hug. Often, this happens in the midst of a time crunching moment or at what might seem like the worst possible time, but after 25+ years of parenting I have learned that the best time to get a hug from your child is when they unexpectedly do it on their own free terms and because they just want you to feel their love. Making time to slow down, breathe in that moment and hug them back consciously is worth being a little late somewhere.
- Waking in the middle of the night to notice that my partner was playing footsies with me in his sleep. We are always touching in some little way which also makes it all the easier to not have gratitude for the little touches given, however when I wake in the middle of the night and he is tickling my foot with his, or pulls my leg over to interlock with his, nuzzles up against my back or grabs me to spoon in his sleep – my whole being feels safer and full of joy. It makes the love that we have between us feel all the more real. Something I never want to lose in our relationship.
- Play fighting till we laugh so hard I almost pee myself with my partner. I adore play fighting and wrestling, it lightens the mood, it brings in laughter and makes me feel more bonded to him. I appreciate these times when he leads us into the art of play together and teases me like we are a couple of ten year olds scuffling and learning about life together.
- Not needing to talk, that just being together is enough. Talking can be overrated sometimes and having someone that you can just be in silence with, feel deeply rooted and connected, comfortable in your own quiet with is beautiful. Something I used to not understand or appreciate and today I adore.
- The wind blowing in the trees and the total ability to tune into it and just feel life at these times. I think that I have always appreciated mother nature since my earliest days – however the older I get the more I see her glory and power and the more I appreciate that I get to witness this segment of time here on earth. The wind brings a feeling of comfort, as well as change. It connects me to that that I call God and brings an awareness that life is fleeting – it not to be assumed that we will get anymore than what we have already been given and when the wind blows through the branches and leaves of a tree and I tune into its mystery this is what I am reminded of and find peace in as well.
- Quiet drive times alone. No music or talk radio. No nothing. Just the stillness and communion with God and self. – This is what I refer to as my God time. It is when I get to communicate with the angels, my guides and God. It’s a space where I am quiet within or have a hard debate with the multiple aspects of self. It’s where I learn to surrender and do the internal inquiry to learn what I can get better at or view differently. It’s where I find self-love and acceptance, peace and creativity. Greatness births from this space for me often.
- Touch – the act of touch by someone that we want to have touch us. I used to take touch for granted. It was not high on my love languages and then I grew up, I made it through the years of motherhood where my children clung to me and I wanted to just have a moment of not being touched. Today I appreciate touch, I value and crave it and see it as a beautiful healing and binding tool. An act of love and compassion. When my partner rubs my foot, touches my face, or my child snuggles and hugs me. I see these moments as priceless and vulnerable.
- The smell of rain in the woods and the sound of it coming down on the roof. There can often be frustration around the weather, especially the rain that can alter our day’s plans and stress us in different ways. I used to view the rain like this, something that was stealing from me the time and ability to act on all the things… today I see it as a message from God saying slow down, turn into self and home, stabilize yourself and refresh. It is soothing and nurturing to the soul if you allow it to be a gift that can replenish our soul and bodies.
- Bedtime stories and prayers with my children – they grow so quick and these moments will fade. I have all too often let my night time routine with my young children be a chore in itself, frustrated by having to do it, to step away from something else or go through the motions when I was so tired. Today, I so appreciate this 5 to 20 minutes of my night with them. It’s a fleeting part of parenthood and childhood, an opportunity to slow down and provide love and security. Its foundation building and many people are never granted this little every day blessing or steal it from themselves. The value it builds in ourselves and our children is certainly unmeasurable.
- The clothes on the floor that get left behind for me to pick up – this has come to be something I love doing and makes me smile. It makes me aware that I have people to care for and that is a blessing. If there were no more clothes left behind for my caring hands to pick up, wash, fold and put away then that would say that I am alone. One of the greatest gifts that I have learned to appreciate in this life is the gift of having someone to care for and take care of.
- My mothers china and tea cup collection – It’s more than memories or sentiment. These things are there but I am more appreciative of the message they bring me when I look at them of “time gone by” and the old ways. Today’s world looks at history and culture or old beliefs as something that should be changed as it was not good, and in some areas that is true, evolution needs to happen, however there is the romantic aspect of our history that reminds us of a time where things meant more and were valued differently. Things were not so fleeting and had to be appreciated. Today we live in an easy gain, easy parish society where we claim to want quality but we accept so little with the knowing that it is replaceable.
- Like minded diets and lifestyles – Been in a few relationships, I have, as Yoda would say and one of the things I did not ever know to look for or appreciate was just this. Yet so vital to longevity and happiness it is. Having this now in my union brings me a state of peace and appreciation I cannot even say the depths of. This impacts all areas of life and until you find yourself living with another who is aligned to you in this fashion you do not understand all the stress and chaos of managing all other styles brought into your world picture.
- My children – I have always appreciated being a mother and having my children, however at this stage of our relationships and life, with the majority of my seven kids being grown adults and having babies of their own and only two remaining at home and not even teenagers yet, I find myself all the more appreciative for motherhood. Above all other people on this planet, it is my children who keep teaching me new aspects of my depths of love. Pushing me into terrains that I had no clue I could even walk in, finding courage I did not know I had and facing my own inner demons to stand firm and be there in love for them.
- My heart – Years ago I would have told you about how great my heart was because of the love it held and could give, today my gratitude for my heart comes from the pain and tension it feels. How it alerts to me how I am out of alignment, how I am not being aware of the fear or anger that I am holding onto and is silently trying to alter my views and life. I am grateful for the moments that my heart tightens and my blood pressure skyrockets, alerting me to what I really feel and I am equally appreciative of when it feels calm or overwhelmed with love confirming the goodness of my state of being.
- Cold Showers – The soothing, calming, restorative power of cold showers or baths. I used to hate cold water. I spent a ton of time easily triggered by cold water because of how poor I grew up and then in my first marriage how broke we were that I spent too many times having to heat water on the stove because our gas was out and we had no hot water. Cold water represented pain to me over finances. Today, I jump at the opportunity to take a cold shower and awaken my creative spirit and let myself become refreshed.
- My Breasts – It took me till I was thirty five to be okay with my small breasts. Even after that time frame I had issues with them, feeling like they could be better in some sense. Motherhood and nursing brought up some challenges with stretch marks and them not being as perky as I before. Today however, I appreciate that I never chose to alter them and instead learned to love them. They are part of me, they are part of my womanhood, motherhood and feminine spirit. They feel pleasure and pain, they have given life support to seven humans on this planet and that is pretty damn special.
- An older car – I have a 2012 Honda and I love it! My partner has a 2013 Toyota Tundra and I love it! I used to want some fancy brand new car with all the whistles and gizmos. Today, getting into our vehicles that are reliable, look good and are not costing us our retirement makes my heart sing. I appreciate that I could have one of those fancy cars but that my values have changed and I have grown up and don’t need to impress anyone so I can enjoy life without the shiny new car attachment and instead enjoy making memories instead of payments.
- Hard work – Not fond of the term “hard work” but I am very appreciative of all the dedicated work I do consistently with my work, on myself and in my home. I appreciate my desire to want to be good and have good things and my understanding that in order for any of us to have these things that matter and are valuable in their own ways that we must earn them. That requires work, effort and dedication. Something that our world is losing sight of in today’s times and is underappreciated or understood.
- All the responsibilities that I have – I live a life full of responsibilities. I have felt highly responsible since I was a small child and I used to be frustrated with having to be so responsible for myself, others and taking care of shit. Today, it feels more like a blessing and I see it as character and courage building. If I am going to have the things that I want and create the life that I want for my family and self, be the influence that I want to be in this world then that will require me to take on more and more responsibility. Through this responsibility I have learned that I find happiness and purpose.
- Camping – especially sleeping on the ground – Nothing brings you back to your core and balances your whole life out quicker than nature, dirty, sweat and a hard rock in a painful spot all night long. I love it! Because it makes me appreciate all the comforts that I quickly forget to appreciate on the average day. It also reminds me about where we all came from and how easy our modern lives are.
- A dark night with tons of stars – I appreciate feeling small in these moments. It takes the pressure of “the focus of self” off of me and brings me into a state of seeing life more from the eyes of God. The mystery and magical aspects of what we have here on this earth and the opportunities that are offered in life. Something we tend to forget about in our chaotic days of nonstop action and entertainment.
- Being raped a decade ago – There I shared it, my gratitude for the horrific act that I went through. It took me sometime to move past the pain and fear, the trauma will never leave me, but from this act I found appreciation for my own strength and courage, but more so for the vulnerability it created for me to share and hold space for others who have experienced such acts as well. This wound created a space for me to help others at a greater depth and for that I am grateful.
- Having my heart broken by someone that I never thought would break it – In the moment the pain was unbearable and my earth stood still. Today five years later, I am eternally grateful for him saying goodbye. Wow! So appreciative for so many things. All that he taught me, that he held space for and the experiences that he created and made me aware of a life that was possible. Without that heartbreak I would not have the relationship I have today with my forever man, my soulmate. I literally would have been oblivious to the signs of real love, I would have not known what I wanted nor would I appreciate all my guy does and who he is without the lessons from my past.
- The act of saying goodbye – I appreciate saying goodbye, all of them. There is no such thing as a bad goodbye I have come to learn. All goodbyes are meant to be and move us toward something better and more aligned. They are coming back to ourselves. They present an opportunity to appreciate what we were given, what we learned and the person who was there with us. Goodbye is all about appreciation.
- Clean sheets – I adore and appreciate fresh clean sheets, especially bleached ones. Nothing smells nor feels better. And having them just fills me with appreciation. Why? Because it does.
- When my partner puts gas in my car without me knowing – I smile everytime and feel so loved and cared for. It’s romantic and caring. It speaks volumes and I spend the whole day appreciating him and how he loves me.
- When one of my grandchildren calls out, “Mimi!!” and run to me for a hug or kiss – I love their love and appreciate them so deeply. They never need to do anything more than just let me hear their joy, their laughter and see their shining eyes and smile. Grandchildren are truly a blessing, they allow us to feel eternal and give hope for a greater future.
- Sweeping or doing the laundry – There is the appreciation of having responsibility, of taking care of that that I value and care for, the people I love but my appreciation around these two items is about the meditative state that they each bring me into. I appreciate the trance-like state that I go into while going through the motions. It settles my soul and helps me to not feel so agitated. I can work out my anger and pain in these two chores.
- Music, Literature and Movies ( good TV series) – I engage in these things to connect to a feeling. I appreciate that due to artists of all natures that I am gifted with the ability to connect to different feelings through their work. Something that has not always been available to us humans and we so easily take for granted.
- A full fridge, freezer and pantry – Sounds pretty norm, right? But I spent many years of my life not having this and not knowing about my survival or my childrens, as many people do in our world. When I open my fridge and see healthy good food, it makes me smile and I am in appreciation for all that goes into having it. Becaus eI know what it’s like to not.
- Shaved legs and private parts – OMG! Such an appreciation for this. It just makes me feel good in my own skin. I appreciate being a woman, being human, feeling sensual and pretty.
- My partner’s passion – When his passion comes out my heart goes a flutter and I dance in appreciation for him and his primal natures. He is not weak, nor timid, he leads and he lets me know exactly what he is feeling or thinking. Even when his passion feels more like anger or upset I appreciate it and him. It is authentic and true. And those are rare gifts offered in our world.
- Vulnerability in every sense of the world – I used to see vulnerability as weakness, but I have learned to see it as strength. It still scares me all the same, whether it is mine or anothers, however in the sharing of it I see beauty and blessing and I appreciate the moments and realizations that it creates.
- My need for purpose – I struggle in life when I feel no purpose. Purpose is direction for me and it is the meaning. If I feel limited or without, I question life and meaning of self. My favorite quote is from Ghande, “ Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I used to get irritated with my need to have purpose, thinking there was something wrong or weird about me.Today I appreciate this need in me, it drives me and keeps me searching for more and wanting to do better as a human.
- Hand written notes – Our world is so fake and non-personal. When I get a handwritten note or letter it instantly makes me feel more connected like whatever is being shared with me is important. I appreciate every aspect of the handwritten note from time, to personality in writing.
- Travel – Yes, there are all the normal things to appreciate about travel from its adventures and sightseeing, experiences and luxuries in food, drink and locations. I appreciate all of that to its greatest depths, however what I appreciate more is the education you gain, the witnessing of our world and how we are all part of this thing called life and being human. Nothing in my opinion is more insightful and inspiring than travel and I appreciate the opportunities that I get to bask in this pleasure of awareness.
- Oral sex – Giving and receiving with my partner. I appreciate the vulnerability of it, the intimacy and the acceptance that it brings with it. So personal, perhaps the very most personal act of our intimate lives. It is a space of true surrender and revealing, allowing and trusting.
- People not agreeing with me – I really appreciate this, one of the best things in life in truth next to failure. I am not joking either. When people have the courage and conviction or just enough ego to disagree I appreciate what is being offered. A different view. It helps me to question myself, to know who I am more, what I believe, where I could expand or learn more.
- Failure – Without it I would not have what I have,be who I am, know what I want for or want to strive for more. Failure is the best teacher and I appreciate that it has blessed my life in all areas. It has revealed exactly what I need and need to work on to have success. It has shown me what I want and what is aligned to my soul or not. Failure has taught me boundaries, self-respect and values.
- Kissing – When you experience bad kissing or limited kissing in an intimate relationship you value and appreciate it all the more. Kissing is connection, intimacy, experiencing someone at a deeper level, trust, acceptance, caring and passion. I appreciate all the different kisses that we can experience and the knowing of what it can be like to not have this beautiful act present in your daily life makes it all the more appreciated and cherished.
- Boundaries and Integrity – Two of the most challenging things to acquire in our lives. Two things that we say we like and want but when presented with them or needing to have them for ourselves we often weaken and back away from. They terrify us and ask us to step away from things that we believe we cannot survive without. Yet they are among the highest values to strive for. I appreciate all the times in my life that I found the courage to stand in mine and not waver. I appreciate all the times that I fell weak and caved as well, teaching me the value and importance of why they are so needed. I appreciate when others share theirs with me and trust me to uphold theirs and support them. It speaks volumes for all involved.
- The Great Masculine – Our world has started to undervalue the masculine and men in general. We certainly do not appreciate it and we want to weaken or even destroy it out of fear. Yet, today I stand firm in my appreciation of the masculine and the men who want to be better men, want to lead by improving themselves and finding their purpose. Who face their fears and demons and do not sway into the social patterning that we see today – making weak men who will become very scary one day in their rebellion. I appreciate the great masculine and all that it has to offer our world.
- Being a woman – In today’s world we are stripping away the identity of man and woman. We are trying to make everything equal and without borders. We no longer can answer the simple question of – what is a woman or a man? We fight over the answer. Well I am a woman who appreciates being a woman and all that it has to offer in its sufferings and bliss. Being a woman means that I am my man’s best contender. I am here to challenge him, to love him, guide him, heal him and surrender to him as long as he remains emotionally mature, centered at his core and a man of integrity. I appreciate being a woman because it is only through my feminine that my man can access his highest pleasure and power, that he can feel fully into his heart’s depths and reveal himself. I love that it requires me to be a woman to give all of this to him. I appreciate being a woman who creates healing stories for thousands of her clients, who has brought seven lives into this world. I love that I am global and feeling – that my reality is based in feelings. That I listen to my intuition and that my partner often asks me to listen to it. I love being a woman who is multi-orgasmic because I have learned how to trust my feminine nature, my body and I can surrender to my partner. I appreciate my hormonal ups and downs and all that they teach me as my life evolves. I love that being a woman means that I am built for creation and for receiving – a woman gives through her ability to receive and create. This is what a woman is and I appreciate the borders between man and woman. I appreciate the differences between masculine and feminine and the beauty that they bring to one another.
These are forty-six appreciations I find myself standing solid in this cycle around the sun. There are many more and some may apply to you while others you may question. No matter who you are, my message for you today is not that my words are correct and that you should feel the same but that appreciation is a super power that we all can have at any given moment – and the most valuable moment to find your gratitude is RIGHT NOW.
No matter your hardship, challenges or suffering, the reason there is still breath in your lungs and blood pumping in your veins is because you have a purpose and that purpose can be discovered through the observation of appreciation.
I appreciate your time reading here.
Loving you from here always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
- Rene’ Schooler