WHY WOMEN KEEP MEN IN ORBIT.

 

WHY WOMEN KEEP MEN IN ORBIT.

 

We women are like Saturn. 

We have many moons in our orbit and these moons (although not 82 like Saturn most likely) are men. They are the men of our past. They are our male friends. They are our work husbands. 

They are the men that we count as family even though they are not family. They are the men, the men that make us feel some way, give us something that our partner cannot. 

 

Whether we admit it or not, almost every woman has a man or two if not ten in orbit. 

And we count these orbiting men as innocent. 

We do not see them as a threat because we can manage the relationship. 

We believe that they can hold the boundary that we have placed and that they are good with exactly where we have put them. 

Or, we simply are blind to the reality that the majority of the time, men only will orbit because they are hoping that our gravitational pull changes and draws them in closer to us for whatever reason. 

 

A single woman keeps multiple men in her orbit for any reason from friendship, to safety, to having someone to help out financially or with a tire that needs changing. She may keep a guy on the back burner just in case she wants some drama free sex or needs a plus one for a work event. The reasons are endless, however the men that get to be in her orbit are there for a reason.

 

A coupled woman, although less likely to have as many men in orbit, still often have a few under the guise of friendship. Often a coupled woman will have her male friend at work and jokingly refer to him as her work husband, she can rely on him for many things and of course it is all needed to keep her sanity and job security. They are a team. It is innocent. She may also have friends or “extended family” that are men that hang out and are typically supportive in the mental and emotional fields for her, perhaps old friends from college or roommates. There have always been boundaries or if there were ever more intimate matters at hand, it was a thing of the past and has no impact on her couplehood.  

 

So we women, with all of our reasons blindly and sometimes not so blindly keep men in our orbit for reasons that we can only understand and justify. Believing that our boundaries that we have said will maintain the container that we desire or at least want to paint the image of that we desire.

 

Reality is that ALL of these guys somehow feed us. 

 

They feed us what we are lacking in our lives, single or coupled.

They provide us with outlets, support, engagement, turn on that we are not getting from the man that we are partnered with or our life. 

 

And so, the true question for many women is how many men does it take to make up the perfect man?

 

Because we know that we cannot have it all in one package. 

We do not trust that it is possible. 

And our relationships of past and perhaps even current reveal to us the very truth of this. 

 

Believing that we can maintain the situation, we disregard what we are actually doing to these men that orbit us. 

 

We are giving them hope.

Hope that a door will crack open. 

Hope that they will have an opportunity to be the knight in shining armour in some capacity to come in and save us, support us, help us, fix it for us or just hold space. 

That our partner cannot fulfill.

 

And so we see no harm as women to sit down to coffee or lunch with our male friend that we dated back in college who is still single or has a relationship that he complains about the disconnect in. 

 

We believe that if we confirm our love for our partner, or that we are in a serious relationship that our male friend will respect it and not have hope. He more than likely will respect it, but in the back of his mind he will be saying, 

 

“Yeah, yeah… you might be happy and committed but here you are with me and where is your man now? If you are that fulfilled, that satisfied then why are you confiding in me? Why are you flirting with me? Why? Why? Why?”

 

You see no matter how badly we humans desire to be this evolved people, that can move past the physical desires, the primal natures… the truth is that we are all still primal at our core and we operate at a deep psychological and emotional level from this primal state. 

 

We desire sex. 

We desire power.

We desire connection.

We desire control. 

And we are territorial. 

 

The thing with that territorial nature is that the way to gain territory is to take over the lands of another. This is how you conquer. 

 

The best takeovers are always done through patience, right in front of the face of your enemy and almost with their approval and support. 

 

When a woman starts to rely on her male friends for more and more support, when she sees how he is always there for her, how he listens and supports, her heart opens to him and she gains trust in him. She has respect for him because he has been holding the boundaries and she believes that she can trust him. 

 

As beautiful as that sounds it is the perfect breeding ground for a slow and precise takeover. 

Ripe for the taking at the first opportunity of a door opening. 

And the woman willingly will open that gateway. 

 

The gravitational pull will quickly shift in the friend’s favor.

 

So what is a woman to do?

What is a man in a relationship with a woman with these moons in orbit supposed to do?

 

The first thing is to be aware and to not allow blindness out of fear of losing the friendships. 

Be aware and communicate authentic truth with your partner. 

 

Discuss the concerns. 

 

Ladies, get real with yourselves about what is lacking in your relationship or life that you feel is being fulfilled from the relationships with the masculine that your man cannot give you. This Is a scary thing to consider, and no one person can ever be expected to fulfill every need of another, however if we do not get clarity around what is missing or has never been then we put ourselves and our relationships at risk of massive pain and suffering, even potential failure.

 

Many women proclaim that  they don’t trust other women. 

That they have always gotten along better with men than women. 

That they are a tomboy, raised with brothers, etc. etc. and that guys understand them better. 

Personally, I understand this very well and fall under these categories.

That said, awareness is key. 

Truth is key. 

Communication is everything. 

And checking in with what relationship holds priority at any given time is vital to relationship success.

 

Going within and exploring what you are wanting and desiring, what is best for you and your commitments and being honest with yourself that men no matter how trusted a friend they are have a reason as to why they choose to remain in our orbit. 

 

And it is more than likely in hope of being pulled into our atmosphere. 

 

*Please note that this musing is written based on a majority perspective and of course understands that not all male/female relationships are rooted in sexual attraction or hopes.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

 

YOUR MAN IS COMMITTED TO YOU IF…

 

YOUR MAN IS COMMITTED TO YOU IF…

 

Men speak different commitment languages than we women do. 

And sometimes they are difficult to understand. 

Am I right ladies?

 

It’s typically not in our face. 

They are not as emotional typically about their love for us. 

And yet they are. 

If you look into the eyes of a man in love with his woman you will see a light, a passion, a furry and a fear. He will anger more easily. He will be more sensitive. He will laugh frequently and he will want to connect. However, he may not write sonnets and poetry or a hit love song for us.

 

Your man is committed to you if he can truly know you. 

If you allow him to see you, feel you and you show that he can trust you.

Today’s world has women being commitment phobes more than men. 

Women are untrusting of the masculine and don’t believe that there are any good guys out there, they are not wanting to settle for just someone that is okay, they want the whole package. They want the “WOW” factor you could say for them to say yes and mean it.

And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to commit to a relationship that is not aligned and you find yourself truly in love fully with the person. The issue is that the wow factor for many women still resembles an outside persona, and can tend to be very superficial even. 

I have spoken with many  women who are caught up on the size of a potential partner’s manhood just as much as they want to know the size of his bank account. As if either of these two things guarantee love, happiness, or soul alignment.

 

All these things do is to support our men not feeling accepted in a relationship. 

Acceptance is probably the number one challenge that men have in relationships and being able to fully lean into and trust a potential life partner. 

 

There is the old statement about how men never want their woman to change, while women enter relationships looking at what the man can become. We say that we see all this greatness in our guy and that’s all we want for him, for him to be his best and that we support it. However, what we’re actually stating is that we are not 100% with the man that he is right now! 

 

So we enter the relationship conditionally.

Expecting change.

Not happy with who he is. 

And he can feel that ladies. 

He knows that you are not accepting of him. 

And that keeps him from wanting to commit, it keeps his heart shut down to you. 

Granted he may still fall in love, he may push through the lack of acceptance, 

After all, your beautiful eyes looking up at him during an intimate moment can wash all his concerns away, but it still will reside there under the surface and haunt him.

Simple fact: he needs to feel accepted by you.

And in order for you to accept him….

You need to freakin’ accept yourself first. 

 

Get this ladies, ACCEPTANCE is one of the ways our men show us that they are committed and feeling love for us. They look for ways to show that they accept us for just being us. They might tell us how beautiful we are first thing in the morning. They may kiss us with our teeth not brushed. They may watch us shower or dress. They will cuddle us when we are sick. They will hold us when we cry. They will shut up and NOT try to fix the problem but just let us share.

 

Which leads me to another thing guys do when they are revealing they are committed and in love…

They show empathy. Empathy is a two way street of revealing. To truly have empathy we have to be emotionally mature. We have to want to be transparent with our partner and share our feelings as much as we want them to share theirs. Empathy is about seeking happiness in conflict instead of being right, it shows that we value and respect our partners needs, desires and wants instead of focusing on finger pointing. When your man shows empathy he is saying that he has an emotional bond with you and values your heart and feelings. 

 

When your man is in “the feels” with you his primal protective nature will stand out loud and proud. His presence level when you are out and about will be on fire, he will be more consciously aware of the surroundings. He will want to make sure that you are kept safe. Not because you are fragile and weak, not because you need him to save you, but because you are special to him and he wants to make sure that he is protecting you not just through showing you empathy, but also physically from any harm that may be in your midst. The protective lover reveals himself by opening doors, seating himself to see the room, looking around spaces and corners, perhaps making sure that you walk on the inside furthest away from danger, etc. This protective nature plays a role emotionally as well, because he does not want to cause your heart pain either. He wants to guard you and show you his love so he will be more conscious of his actions and words as well. 

 

Which leads yet to another thing men in love and committing to a woman will do.

He will learn you. 

Yes he will learn your love languages ladies. 

He will learn what is meaningful to you and he will want to perform these acts for you, because he wants you to feel loved and cherished. He wants you to know how he adores and respects you. How he honors you. He will not insist that you feel love the way he deems right or understands. Just like he will learn your body and learn what pleasures you. He will want to see you smile, laugh, relax, feel safe and orgasm because this will bring him fulfillment and show his love and commitment to you.

 

Men move at all speeds in a relationship. Depending on how hungry they are for the feminine, depending on what their wounding from previous relationships are like and how much work they have taken upon themselves to heal and trust themselves again and certainly depending on how long they have witnessed us women in life. If a man has taken the time to view his lady love in different situations, and feels that he has truly seen her then he is far more motivated to progress the relationship along. Sometimes, this progression happens early on with him showing inclusivity. When a man asks you to come to a work function, meet his friends or family or asks for input on plans he is saying I want to go deeper with you. He is saying that your thoughts about things matter to him and that he wants you to see more of him on all levels as well. He is also showing that he trusts you as he would not be opening up these parts of his life to you if he did not want to lean and trust more.

 

Now when a man sets his mark, feels that he wants to deepen things even more and he feels as though you are aligned and can have a common mission you could say in life then he will show you his love and commitment to you, to the love he is feeling and to the relationship by leading it.  He will want to progress. He will let his desire be known. This is where he may suggest living together, or spending more time together, or make long term plans. He will inquire what your goals are, needs or ideas are for the coming years. He will no longer just speak about the next date or a trip but be speaking about years in the future. 

 

Your man’s commitment to you is revealed to you as you reveal yourself to him and he believes that you are aligned. 

 

So beautiful woman, let him see you.

Feel you. 

And experience your truth. 

Stop hiding or masking. 

Stop giving him what you believe he wants to see and feel.

That will only cause uncertainty. 

 

And As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to live out loud, free and in love.

Manifest your soul relationship today.

Reach out to me for mentoring and the law of attraction in love, abundance and life happiness now.

THIS IS THE MOST UNDERVALUED THING IN LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE TODAY.

THANK HEAVENS MY GRANDSON’S HEART TRANSPLANT WAS DONE BY AN EXCELLENT SURGEON WITH EXPERIENCE.
Right?
I mean can you imagine if the task had been handed over to a store clerk or a mechanic?
That sounds crazy right?
We would never allow that to happen.
Surgery of any kind is serious business.
It’s our health, our life.
It bears serious implications if not done well.
So of course you would never think to turn over the knife to someone who does not know how to use it or understand the human body.
Yet we do this frequently in other parts of our life.
We do it with ease.
We do not even stop to hesitate.
We just lay it all down and take the best priced option typically.
Or the quickest sounding.
We may ask if they have understanding, experience or degrees but we don’t slow down and actually inquire about their hands on knowledge.
And depending on what area of life you are asking for help and guidance in, the person you are turning toward may need certain skill sets or wisdom about what “could” happen or how things work in the real world, not just what they read in a textbook or saw on a training video.
I would say that you get what you pay for,
However our new world which has an on sloth of “experts ” and “guru’s” reveals something totally different in my opinion.
Being part of many coaching communities I see tons of new coaches coming on board, building their businesses, working with people, learning from mistakes as we all do and also getting told,
“Just proclaim yourself an expert in the field and you are one.”
This is the truth though.
If someone proclaims themselves such.
If someone shows up enough on social media and in livestreams.
If someone writes well and can be believable to some level.
If someone puts on the face that others want to see for that trade.
THEN…
They are experts.
They suddenly have wisdom that they did not earn.
They suddenly can just lean on tales they have heard as their own and make others believers of their experiences.
They are foxy little wolves in sheeps clothing for sure.
And this is what our world is full of.
It’s frustrating to myself and I am sure to others out there in the world who see this occurrence happening daily.
We see the damage that it causes.
The relationships that it destroys.
The pain and suffering that individuals are going through because of poor leadership and guidance.
But we as a society do not value experience.
REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE.
We want the virgin to give us the mind blowing sex tips.
We want the priest to tell us what to expect in the delivery room.
We want the mechanic to tell us how to build our health practice.
We want the person who has never been in a relationship to share the best strategies on how to deal with our mate.
We want the person who eats nothing but fast food and is sedentary to show us how to get the body and health of our dreams.
It’s worse than asking the devil for the steps to get to the kingdom of heaven. Sure he may know them, but is he likely going to share them? And what he does share are you going to blindly trust because he says I know God.
At least the devil does know God.
Is a fallen angel.
And does know what it takes to get there.
But we rely on those who do not know their bum from a hole in the ground for vital, life altering guidance in so many areas of life and we do so just because they have proclaimed something.
Because we are to effing lazy to inquire.
To pay attention.
To do the research.
To listen to our intuition about someone.
Or we hand the reins over because they are cheaper or claim to get quicker results.
Or give us answers that feel more comfortable than the truth.
They were nice.
They were pretty.
They had a nice voice.
I liked their shirt.
Experience.
It truly is the most undervalued thing we have these days.
We do not value wisdom.
We have lost ourselves in some strange concept that youthfulness is powerful and wise.
Wisdom is built on the foundation of failure.
And failure only comes from life experience.
Learning what works and what does not.
Wisdom, life skill, understanding…
TAKES TIME.
But you want it quick.
You want it handed to you.
And that will cost you dearly.
But at least you may learn from your error and gain wisdom.
Right?
So there is something good after all to come from choosing poor leadership and guidance.
What area are you feeling you may need support in?
What subject area of your life needs guidance from someone who has walked there before and come through the thick of it only to rise back into the light, a stronger, more wise soul?
Will you choose wisely those you allow to guide your life, your love, your money, your freedom and health?
Or will you do what is easiest?
As Always,
In service.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.
This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.

Trust, Truth & Establishing Rock Solid In Couplehood.

OUR TRUST IS BUILT ON THE FOUNDATION OF TRUTH…

But is that true?

 

We would like to believe that it is just this way,

however if we are honest with ourselves there is something that is so much more rare, more important and powerful in letting us know that we can trust someone…

 

All relationships need trust in order to be successful.

For us to open to love fully,

to surrender our deepest hearts to another,

to open our bodies to pleasure with our mate,

or to reveal our pain,

we must have TRUST.

 

Through the course of time and engagement with different people in different relationships we learn that trust is hard to have.

We discover that many people all though they “think” themselves trustworthy, believe that they are worthy of being trusted and that their actions and words support that more than often it is not so.

More frequently then not we learn that those that we trust in are acting from a self-centered aspect only giving of themselves and speaking out of a desire to receive and therefore will make themselves into anything needed to be perceived as steadfast and true.

 

But a person who does not know themselves,

who is not able to be true to their own thoughts, feelings and needs and is willing to “pretend” or mask is a person that is far from trustworthy.

 

Only when we can stand firm in self,

uneeding of anyone else to affirm to us that we are good, loveable, worthy, trustworthy, etc. can we be true to someone else.

 

And that is what we are wanting in our relationships.

Especially in our most intimate primary love relationships.

We want to know that our partner is true.

 

We want to know that if the sh*t were to hit the fan that they are there for us, no matter.

We want to know that they have our backs in battle and in love.

We want to know that even if they do not agree with us that they value the relationship more than they value being right or making a point.

 

We want ROCK SOLID.

 

And rock solid comes from unshakable trust in each other.

Trust is established, built and supported not by truth but by support of each other despite opinions, beliefs and even truth.

Trust must come from a harmony of knowing that we are supported fully but also that our partner will be honest with us.

 

Meaning that they will always share their feelings and thoughts around things no matter how different or challenging, but will not allow for those feelings and thoughts to take center stage and offset the unity and foundation of the relationship.

 

There must be an understanding that there is a difference between truth and honesty.

 

Truth is subject to one’s own perception and experiences and then made into a fact unless scientifically revealed. Even our own truth in history is subject to opinion and written by those who conquered for the most part. Often truth is based in a need to be right or to set something straight.

 

Where honesty, although still subject to one’s own perceptions and experience is a sharing of our core views, beliefs and feelings. True honesty is based on surrender and trust of being received.

 

OUR TRUST IS BUILT ON SUPPORT.

 

If you know that you cannot fall, how far can you go in life?

What sort of life challenges can you overcome?

 

If you know that there is no goodbye in your relationship, how deep can you surrender to your soul and into the revealing of it with another?

 

If you know that even if you are wrong in a choice or opinion that your back is had in every turn without question, how much more powerful and even able to hear and see the truth could you be?

 

Trust equals freedom to be you and surrender fully into the relationship.

How are you showing up for your love?

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Explore the depths of what is needed to build trust and enjoy a rock solid commitment with your partner.  Reach out to me for my elite couples coaching today.

 

LISTEN TO IN COUPLEHOOD TRUTH VS. SUPPORT LIVESTREAM NOW.

I HATE YOU… YOU EVIL PIECE OF SH*T!

I HATE YOU…. YOU EVIL PIECE OF SH*T!

 

I will show you my pain.

I will make you feel how badly you have hurt me.

I can’t believe you ever loved me.

I can’t trust you ever again.

You need to pay for what you have done.

I am broken because of you.

You owe me closure, explanations.

I want to hear it from your lips.

How dare you do this to us.

 

 

And so many other things that we say in the midst of break up and tossing our pain out there in the world at the ones that we proclaim to have loved and lost.

 

Often in break up we fall prey to the belief that we need to be a victim in the break up.

 

We want to appear the victim.

Or at least we think that we are the victim,

that we are not an active game player in the relationship destruction.

 

After all WE DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to make it work.

 

It is the other person’s doing that things are crashing down.

It is the other person’s fault that we are hurting, lost, angry.

We blame the other person for the chaos, the violence, the hatred.

 

And something inside of us wants the other to feel piss poor about the break up and show their pain to us, fight us, antagonize us, maybe even beg for the relationship and want us.

 

Yes we want often in relationship break up to do the most painful thing we can think,

and that is to get our partner to want us back,

to get them to see their wrongs and then we want to CRUSH THEM.

 

And if they do not stand in the fight with us then we do everything in our power to instigate their pain and anger.

We antagonize, and we fully step out of alignment with who we really are.

 

In all of these ego based reactions to break up,

we forget the most important thing in the relationship.

 

We forget the two people who love each other.

We forget our hearts.

We forget our cores.

And we hand over ALL our personal power and self- respect by acting immaturely and acting out in rage and hatred.

 

We believe that we need to show how badly we are hurting,

how much our hearts desire to be united with this other person or how much we want and need them by leaning fully into our pain bodies and stepping away from WHO WE TRULY ARE.

 

And so we become a Taylor Swift song and we slash tires, throw bricks, carve our names in furniture and cars, flatten tires, destroy our lovers property, try to deface them through slander and attempt to destroy their worlds, their relationships by letting the world know our pain.

 

We act out and we attack.

 

Whether we are the one’s doing the breaking up or the one’s getting broken up with, often at least one party if not both believe that break up can only happen if they turn the other into a persecutor and themselves into a victim.

 

But folks THIS IS NOT LOVE.

 

And if you truly ever loved someone,

if you wanted and could see a life with that person,

if you had a life blossoming with them,

if you found yourself in your heart,

expanding, growing, exploring love and relationship,

and you want to do so much good for that person and for yourself then WHY do you want to dishonor the relationship, yourself, them and most importantly LOVE in this fashion of becoming a victim?

 

Emotional maturity in relationship is a powerful tool,

no matter the events occuring in the relationship.

If we have a strong standing in who we are as individuals and if we truly have self- love and respect then we may feel the anger, the pain but having emotional maturity and respect for self and for the love will guide us. We will also be able to see our role in the relationship break up.

 

Because there are no such things as victims in a relationship break up. Even in the worst break ups, where physical violence has occured ( and I have had this happen in my lifetime) we each play a role. We are active participants in the events that are happening to us.

 

Emotional maturity, spiritual maturity, maturity in general is about taking responsibility for self.

 

If you think you did not have that coming….

Think again love.

You are a co-manifestor to your reality.

You are an active creator to your life.

Your thoughts.

Your fears.

Your actions.

Your lack of knowing yourself and upholding who you are,

not doing your own internal work and getting right with YOU,

loving you unconditionally, accepting you unconditionally, lying to yourself and using your partner and others, life as a mask to your own internal issues,

 

PLAYED A MF BIG A*S ROLE IN THIS MOMENT.

In your pain.

 

The reality is this love…..

 

Break ups MUST happen in relationships that are OUT OF ALIGNMENT with the people who are in the relationship.

 

Relationships have expiration dates.

 

A reason.

A season.

A lifetime.

 

Even the lifetime one’s come to a physical end.

The sooner we humans get right with the fact that all relationships end, the better our relationships can be. The more fulfilling, loving and the more harmonious our breakups can be.

 

Imagine ending a relationship in love instead of hatred and pain?

 

Imagine two people loving themselves so much so that their love for each other and the relationship allowed them to end it in love as well.

 

In honor.

In respect.

And did not mean that they needed to destroy the other to prove their love.

 

Because destroying the other IS NOT LOVE.

It is ego.

And it is not love to self or honor of self either.

It is fear.

It is not soul based.

It is ego based and immature.

 

But instead imagine realizing that the relationship has served its time and purpose, finding gratitude for all this it taught you, openned you up too, brought into your life and helped you gain clarity around.

Imagine being in love with the time and lessons that were shared.

And knowing that its expiration was upon your doorstep, but that it did not  mean that you had to be in pain or anger.

Instead that you could love this other person and yourself so much that you could let go and move forward in confidence that all things happen for a reason.

 

This is love.

And ending relationship in love uplifts both parties.

Ending relationships in love supports the lives and future relationships of both parties.

Ending relationship in love expands who we are,

heals us, opens us and is one of the greatest gifts that we can offer OURSELVES.

 

Imagine this relationship break up and ask yourself today,

How mature am I my relationships?

Do I take responsibility for myself in them?

Do I truly act from love or do I let my ego get in the way and become a victim?

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to elevate your love and life in 2021?

 

Ready to call in that soul aligned relationship that you cannot see past?

 

Let’s get you aligned to your core love.

 

Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 and group coaching programs starting in January 2021 and the early bird discounts for those coming later this month.

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.

WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO FACE WHO YOU ARE.
 
You find yourself out of MF Alignment in your life left and right.
Nothing works for you.
 
People get super judgy,
you cannot seem to do anything right,
and the more you focus on how you are not getting it right,
you mess it up even more and you find yourself overwhelmed,
overworked, depressed, anxious and lost.
 
You try everything it seems,
but nothing fits right.
You tell yourself that you are in alignment with your love life,
with your finances,
your passion and your work,
You claim to love who you are even though you still know you have work to do,
and you understand from a mental space how important your thoughts and feelings are to manifesting your desired life.
 
YOU GET IT.
You really do,
but you are still fucking it up somehow.
 
And this makes you crazy on the inside.
This makes you feel unworthy,
makes you feel like no one cares,
and your ego runs wild with its success of overtaking you in all areas.
But you don’t see it clearly.
Instead you go into self-loathing,
you dance in the land of feeling not good enough,
and you beat yourself down even more.
 
You are caught in the tidle wave of ego owning your ass.
And you are drowning.
 
And strangly you are enjoying it.
As crazy as that seems,
I mean why in the world would you focus on making yourself feel bad?
why would you support manifesting hell in your life?
Its not fun.
Its not making you happy.
Its not serving you at all.
But yet YOU ARE DOING IT.
 
And you are loving it.
It feels good to be right about something.
It feels good to manifest exactly what you have always received and keeping things the way that you are familiar with,
the way that you expect,
keeps you comfortable.
 
It won’t rattle your cage.
It keeps you safe because you KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT what you are getting.
 
And if you had chosen to drop all this shitty shit and allow yourself joy, happiness and love to flow in instead,
you would have then to much to loose.
 
I mean if you allow yourself to actually be happy and abundant,
then what if it changes back to what you have always known to be true?
 
Then you will find yourself possibly in worse shoes then where you are now,
comfortable with your suffering that you have set up residence in.
 
And so you make sure that before you can actually enjoy the blessings that are on thier way to you from all these years of desiring a better life,
that you push it all away from you.
 
You run away from it and cause a scene so that you can point fingers and say,
“See I knew that was going to happen, because that is the way it always is. “
 
You commit to your suffering.
You commit to keeping yourself right where you have always been.
You are one MF loyal AF human to your undesired life.
 
Good job my dear powerhouse manifestor.
You rock in your ability to get what you ask for.
In calling in what you focus on.
 
You are a MF magician.
That is for sure.
 
So stop bitching about the shitty shit that you got going on.
You have been focused on it showing up and being here all this time and so it has to show up and be here.
 
And the funnier thing is,
you think that by acting like someone that you are not,
by providing life a fake smile,
by focusing in on actions that are not in alignment to you authentically,
by looking at the world and those who are aligned and making good shit happen,
that if you copy cat them that life will just magically give you what they have,
well…
 
Your are stupid.
 
Cuz, life will never give you another humans expereinces.
Life will ONLY give you your expereinces.
 
Your energy is yours.
And you can have everything that you want and that you see others creating as well,
but you gotta get aligned to YOU first and be MF HAPPY with who you are first.
 
Or not…..
 
You can also just keep doing what you have been and getting what you have been and pointing fingers,
getting triggered and have knee jerk reactions to everything that you are not happy with,
and just keep that beautiful focus on getting what you don’t want by talking about it to everyone you can,
by waking up and daydreaming about your misery and how rough life has been,
by being jelly over others,
and by effing duplicating what you think will get you there,
but ignoring WHO THE FUCK YOU REALLY ARE.
 
Because you are afraid of your power,
afriad of your happiness and abundance,
afraid of the opinions, judgements and ideas of others if you actually JUST BE BEAUTIFUL YOU.
 
And because of you not facing this truth my dear MF Manifestor,
you will continue to put yourself on repeat to everything that you do not want.
 
As long as you keep denying your truth and trying to make others truth yours,
you will never have what you want.
But you will continue to get what you focus on.
 
That is for sure.
becaus ethat is how it works.
 
Life does nolt give a shit about what you think is fair or not.
Life does not hear that you do not want this or that.
Life does not care about your forced actions.
 
Life gives you what you focus on.
Life gives you what you are commited too.
And THAT,
THAT is why you got everything that you expect.
 
So what are you going to do about it?
 
We will all find out soon enough,
your life will show us.
Your manifestations will certainly show exactly what you have been commited too.
 
COMMIT WISELY.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start living
“Coaching for Grown Ass Believers”
 
Want ro get clear focus to over coming the struggles of life?
Take advantage if Asskickery October.
Where I will Lovington kick your ASS into alignment of your goals.
No mattwr where you are in this world.
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Offer is limited.
 

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you…..
“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye!
I’m glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.”
THAT’S IT!
And so we must part.
And part repeatedly we do.
Yet you long to hold me here in this moment,
forever captured by your desires.
But, neither of us can expand as long as we hold so tight.
Our power, our freedom and happiness,
comes from letting go.
Each moment that we are alive,
we are always transforming,
expanding or shrinking,
longing to be close, to merge and entwine,
or push away and fly free in who we are in the moment.
Goodbye feels permanent.
It is like the feeling of death, is it not?
And so we strive to avoid it.
We fear it.
And we try our damndest to make sure that things remain the same.
However in our attempts to keep all the same,
we destroy the beauty of our lives,
of our relationships,
we squash what was so dear.
And we then sit back and wonder why we feel such suffering.
We question why things went the way they did,
and why those that we wanted to hold precious to us turned and walked away without notice.
The answer my dear is in your desire to control.
To prevent your own pain.
You fear goodbye.
You fear transformation.
You fear your growth and the expansion of others.
You are living so far from your truth and from God in this moment that you cannot feel the love that is in store for you.
Love does not fear change or growth.
Love knows that this is an attraction based universe,
not a universe based on exertion and force of your will over everything.
Love knows no suffering.
Love never feels alone or jealous.
Love does not point fingers of blame and hatred.
Love does not look for reasons to not be love anymore but in turn become anger or drama.
There are things that we can be certain of in this life of ours.
1) All things change. Movement and expansion is a guarantee.
2) Everything is energy and operating at a frequency of its own.
3) You attract and keep in your sphere of vibration ONLY those things that are the same frequency, all other things will cause disturbance and cause separation between you and them.
Put simply,
Goodbye simply means that the energy was no longer there.
And goodbye is one of the most beautiful blessings that we are given in our lives.
It allows for all parties to be true to themselves if open to it.
We get what we need from the time spent together and then when our energies no longer connect ( vibe at the same frequency) we are set free from the engagement.
This is far from a sad event.
No matter what we are speaking of, may that be an intimate relationship, a friendship, a job or career, a home or car, etc.
This letting go of anything is only creating an opportunity for ALL PARTIES involved to move forward toward their highest and best version and experiences instead of being forever trapped with something that no longer serves their best self.
Can you imagine being trapped as a twelve year old you? Just held in all time as that version of self, with all the bondage that you most likely felt from family and society? Having longings and desires, wanting for more but knowing that you would never be able to have any of it because here is where you are eternally?
Sounds like hell, right?
And your suffering would be far greater than that of saying goodbye to your greatest love even.
Every moment that you are living.
Every person that you come in contact with,
every thought that you think and feeling that you have.
Changes who you are.
And you are never the same person you were just moments ago.
Therefore you are always saying goodbye to a version of you and to a version of whomever you are moving through life with.
Although these changes are subtle,
over time they transform us.
And create the energy gorge between us and others.
Our holding on to old versions of self and of others only causes damage to our souls expansion.
Because it creates separation between our TRUTH which is linked to God, and our life experience ( what we are perceiving here and now). This is where our anger and pain will stem from.
When we are feeling such anger and pain, blame, jealousy, worthlessness and fear we are being offered the gift of realization that we are NOT IN ALIGNMENT TO SELF.
Self is God in essence.
God consciousness moving through us.
Spirit. The divine.
And to be aligned to self,
knowing self which is pure love,
shows our alignment to God.
We cannot be aligned to God when operating from ego/fear.
And this causes constriction in the physical body and world ( our life experience).
We will start to experience chaos,
negative events, frustration and suffering.
Signs of separation.
You are powerful.
We all are powerful and worthy.
And we access this power through letting go in love not fear.
We reconnect ourselves to self and God by looking the demons of fear in the eyes and telling them to be gone,
that they are not our truth.
They are not of God.
They are not of self.
And we turn our focus to love.
To appreciation for EVERYTHING that was shared with us in moments past.
We focus in on the beauty,
the expansion and the greatness of what we have learned.
All relationship…
All relationships transform and change and say goodbye.
We all will say goodbye to each other in big ways and small ways in this lifetime.
Nothing is forever.
It was not designed to be such,
and you would ultimately not be fulfilled and happy if it all remained the same.
Look at your life,
at those in your world,
in your vibrational sphere.
And ask yourself,
” Am I holding onto this energy in love or fear?”
“Am I grasping for it wanting to control it? Or am I breathing into it and allowing it to wash through me, whirl around me and carry me to my next highest level of self?”
One is ego based.
One is aligned to God and self.
You get to choose your path and write this chapter of your novel.
What does this chapter close like?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
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Enter Sensual Surrender For Your Magical Expereince.

I WAS FLOATING IN A SEA OF SENSATION.
 
There I was,
our flesh touching.
The water lapping around my breasts and shoulders.
I was breathing the moment and all the feeling of floating into my being.
Taking it in,
devouring it.
feeling as though the universe was asking for me to open even more and allow the deep penetration of my soul to occur.
 
There he was,
resting next to me, his hand on my thigh.
I could feel his breathing as it caused ripples in the water.
His body was smooth and his desire was present.
 
There he was,
on my other side,
breathing in the wind.
His arm touching mine,
soft and smooth.
 
And the water washed over all of us.
The wind in the trees before us was dancing and asking for our surrender.
 
My desire was to touch,
to exchange breath,
to become entwined.
 
I wanted to allow myself to be seen and felt with both of them,
I wanted to feel thier hands caressing me.
I wanted to touch and let my love be felt through the sensaul stroking and playing of our skins enveloping each other.
 
I wanted to feel.
Feel past this phyiscal state of being.
Feel through the emotions,
the fears and the concern.
I wanted to penetrate life by embodying this moment fully and dropping deeper into surrender.
 
 
My hunger was present,
a ravonous beast rumbling within my groin,
within my heart my soul rattled in the cage it felt placed about it.
I breathed.
Breathed into this container known as my physical body and asked my chest to relax,
I asked my soul what it was desiring to achieve from such a state of vulnerability and desire?
 
And my heart leaped,
it called out to the winds,
it wanted to dance naked in the moon light,
it wanted to swing in the hammuc and howl at the moon.
It wanted to be taken.
Taken into the galaxies and be blasted from every startling.
It wanted to be shed of its chains,
its fears and its silly conditions.
It wanted to defy society and relationship labeling.
It wanted to love.
 
It wanted to love fully and authentically.
and it wanted to tap back into that space,
that yummy space that it had known once before and SURRENDER to the call of this wild woman that wanted to open her wings.
Her legs.
Her heart.
Her vessel.
 
My soul knew as it knows today in this moment the power that can transend from moments of bliss,
moments of utter transendence.
It knows that when you can come together with another,
when you can drop into truth without fear or need to control,
when you can access love,
that you hold all the power.
 
That here in this space you are the key master.
And all one ever needs to do is choose a door.
 
This space I speak of is not found in sex.
It is not found in meditation nor prayer.
It is not found in work or what we might refer to as purpose.
It is not found in any relationship or nutritional plan.
It is not found in text books or doctrin.
 
This place I speak of is ONLY discovered through the greatness of your ability to soften and let the universe take you.
In the sensualness that moves through you at times like this,
no matter what the act that you might be performing,
you are moving with the magical essence and flow of the divine.
 
Here from this state of embodiment you are using all your senses.
You are not trapped prisioner to your thoughts,
not holding your emotions out of fear,
you are not touching or acting from a state of control or even desire,
you are just being.
Fully.
 
This is the expanded expression of the human expereince.
This is what we are meant to explore.
 
But we bunker down,
we armour up,
we hide and we fear.
 
In our hiding and fearing we feel loss and suffering.
We gain the illionary belief that we own one another and that we are to remain small.
We buy into the concepts of not enough and control.
ANd we search for purpose,
he hunt for joy and connection,
and we do it all with limited connection to self.
We come into our life moments with with zero to no understanding of self and we lay blame to all those we dance with for the way that we feel.
 
We hide our hearts out of fear of getting hurt,
we shut down our voices and our expressions as to not damage anyone else.
We lift up th eheavy shileds in hope that we can prevent future wounding….
 
And we feel EMPTY.
We feel lost.
Undesired,
disconnected.
And we question why?
Why can I never be happy?
Why do I always end up right back here?
 
It is the shield.
That armour that you carry.
The weight of fear and judgement.
The sword of control.
Those are what keeps you from receiving all that you want for.
Those are the demons that you bare.
 
Soft and subtle.
Fluid and entwined.
The sensaulness of a soul surrendered,
a heart opened and body unburrdened.
 
Here is your bliss.
Here is your power.
Here is the naked truth.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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A LETTER TO THE MAN I SHOULD HAVE MADE LOVE TO…

A LETTER TO THE MAN I SHOULD HAVE MADE LOVE TO…
 
Open.
Connective.
With eyes like a stormy sky.
Your smile greets me in warm anticipation everytime that we meet.
 
I feel your heartbeat,
It radiates from across the room,
Your masculine energy engulfs my every move,
And I feel you watching me.
My attention is on the funny crook of my smile,
Wondering if you notice.
I breathe deep,
Taking in this moment with you.
 
I feel the stir inside my being,
A hunger from deep within.
My thoughts wonder,
My attention is now on your breath.
I feel your restriction,
I see you grip you hands,
Controlling your hunger,
As you smile and breathe me in.
 
I can feel you absorb my very essence as I come close,
My body tingles,
My pulse intensifies,
And I wonder.
 
I watch the rise and fall,
Of your body as we connect,
I listen to your nervousness,
To your desire,
That you speak through the silence,
And I smile.
I smile at our connection.
I smile at your willingness.
I smile at your adoration,
And respect.
 
I see how you fear fucking this up.
How you want for more,
For all of me.
And yet settle for the glimmer of my eyes looking back into yours.
 
You are the man,
The man who shows his heart through the silence of this moment,
You are the man,
Who feels ever so deeply,
And denies his hunger.
You are the man,
The man that can ignite me.
In your own unique fashion,
You get me.
And I know I am seen by you,
Like no other has witnessed.
 
Your depth,
Your reveal,
The way you share this moment.
 
You are the man I should have made love to.
 
You are the man that deserves to be felt at this level.
 
You are the man who I know has gone a thousand years without the depth deserved,
This hunger that is rising,
This connection you offer,
Its been a lifetime in the waiting,
And most women deny.
 
I see your pain my sweet man,
I feel your hearts surrender,
And your bodies desire to open,
As it opens mine,
To shared ecstasy.
 
You are not wanting surface level relating,
You crave the deepest penetration,
You want the dancing of heart, soul and body,
And the unbridled passion they bring forth.
 
How long has it been sweet man?
How long have you waited to be absorbed into the gulf of the true feminine,
Where you get lost in the currents of bliss?
 
Where you have seen and been seen,
Where you elevate your lover,
As she pulls you in deeper and together you rise to the heavens in a dance?
 
You are the man I should have made love to,
The man who is waiting still.
 
Tender.
Strong.
And passionate
Your hesitation in my presence says it all.
You look deeply into my eyes,
As your soul captures this moment.
 
—-‐————————————————————————
 
To all the men of the 🌎 world,
The men who desire connection over surface level fucking and relating.
 
The men who want more from self and woman,
The men who crave to be captivated in her caverns,
And enjoy the journey of revealing.
 
To all the men who value the feminine.
Who do not fear her power,
But instead support and respect it.
Nuture her heart,
As you adorn her body,
And protect her from this worlds craze
To all the men,
Who have gone so long without a woman who sees your truth and honesty,
Your love for something more than paychecks and quick sex.
Who has squashed his masculine,
And feels unsafe to share.
I see you sweet man,
As more conscious women will too.
 
You are worthy of a goddess,
You are second to no other,
Its time sweet man you recognize that you have been accepting far too little.
 
Open yourself to being made love to.
Slow down,
And ask her too as well.
Don’t rush this beautiful process,
And limit your pleasure,
You are a man that deserves to me made love to.
A man that is worthy of being lifted.
Lifted to her alters,
And recieved.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “

Random Morning Conversations – Pedophiles to Compliments That Trigger.

There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….

 

I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.

I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.

I logically understand.

But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.

 

Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.

You see in my house we have this thing,

“Morning Conversations”

and you simply never know where these conversations will go,

nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.

It is drastically different each day.

 

Yesterday morning,

after some decent sexing,

I found my lover and I in bed,

I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,

I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says, 

 

” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”

 

My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.

 

And that sure AF is not okay and  is NOT love.

 

After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,

 

“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”

 

To this he smiled at me and said,

 

“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”

 

And this is where it all went dark folks.

In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.

Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,

but not I…..

 

I paused,

took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.

To feel this wound that just got scratched.

I looked at the wound,

identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.

However, the truth was it triggered me.

And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.

So I spoke up.

I said,

“That was a triggering statement you just made.”

And then I shared why.

I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,

I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,

who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.

However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.

Even though I was highly turned on,

my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.

And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,

unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,

leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.

He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.

His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,

and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.

He then looked at me and said,

 

“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”

 

Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,

but what he actually was doing was blaming me,

making me responsible for his inability to last,

to be in control of his body,

his thoughts and feelings,

his sexual energy.

And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.

My feeling after hearing this was,

” I need to not be me.”

I felt like if I did not moan that way,

if I was not playful like I am,

If my body did not look like this,

If I was not open the way I am,

If…

If…

If…

 

Then he would be able to stay with me longer,

last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.

It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.

 

Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….

 

This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.

 

He is not responsible.

He is innocent and cannot help himself.

It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,

So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?

 

Well I need to shut my shit down.

I need to not be as turned on.

I need to guard my moans.

I need to go limp.

I need to not engage in sex.

I need to not dress this way or that.

I need to not be as playful.

I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.

 

But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.

And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.

Not fully that is.

They do however blame her to a degree,

just like she takes responsibility.

 

It’s because of how we were raised.

Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.

How they speak to us.

That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.

If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.

 

And guys are told that,

“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”

 

This all steals one’s individual power from them. 

Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman. 

 

Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues. 

 

I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well, 

And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.

 

“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”

 

It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current, 

But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well. 

Because it’s there too. 

 

In owning that we get triggered, 

In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life, 

We reclaim our power. 

In pausing on our words and asking ourselves, 

“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”

In looking at what our words are actually speaking, 

Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening. 

And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships, 

In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands. 

 

Today look at your relationships. 

Look at your sexing. 

Look at your expectations and desires. 

And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?

Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.