THEY ARE CALLED YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A REASON.
Truth Bomb Here.
Are you like most of the world that believe that others are responsible for your emotional state,
for the feelings that YOU are having about any subject in your life?
Or are you self-aware enough and proactive enough to understand that they are YOUR emotions, meaning that YOU and only you are responsible for them.
No one else can make you feel any way.
You get to choose how you feel about something.
You get to choose how you react to something.
You CHOOSE.
This is by far one of the most challenging things to grasp in life,
We are taught that we need to act, speak and even think through everything in ways to not harm or cause anyone else to feel bad.
We are told that we are not good enough,
that we are too much,
that we are RESPONSIBLE for how others feel about themselves,
about situations and how they perceive us.
And yes,
to a degree we are responsible.
Our actions and words most certainly can trigger other’s into a negative or positive spiral.
Our actions do contribute to how we are perceived.
But we are not solely responsible for another’s feels, views or perceptions.
We each have an ability to be proactive in our thinking,
which leads to us being proactive in our feeling,
and to pause before we assume anything.
Becoming self-aware means to become authentic with self.
It means that we are willing to get real and raw with ourselves, and to acknowledge that anothers words or actions have only triggered an old program or wound,
and once triggered that we are now feeling this old emotion as though it is current.
The insecurities that we hold about ourselves,
the hatred that we have for ourselves,
the self- judgement, and shame…
All of these play a role in our emotions that can get triggered by an event or person.
But these internal landscapes that we all have,
are not another’s responsibility to cautiously thread through.
It is each of our own responsibility to self and to our lives,
to do the deep personal work to heal and become aware of.
If we do not do our own inner work,
then we are destined to walk through life feeling disempowered,
feeling a victim,
not understood and always attacked.
We will continue to view life as though we have no control and point fingers in blame at those we love,
at life experiences,
our governments, churches, schools, work.
However, when we choose to get real with self,
to practice self- love, healthy boundaries, knowing our desire’s, speaking our truth and RELEASING OURSELVES from the responsibility of everyone else’s feelings,
as well as taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions,
we become EMPOWERED.
By doing this, we walk through life with less shame, guilt, blame, judgement on self or others and we approach life from a healthier state of relating.
We can now speak in confidence our needs,
state clearly our yes and no and also accept another’s
without falling into an old wound or fear and needing to control an outcome.
We release the world and especially our loved one’s from the driver’s seat of our lives.
They are called your emotions for a reason.
They are all your’s.
And when we had them over to someone else,
we hold an expectation that the other person will and “should” always put us before them.
And if they do not,
then we are hurt and feel as though they do not love us, that they are selfish and heartless,
that we are not safe with them.
When in fact,
what we are asking for by turning over our power to another,
by making them responsible for our emotions is what is self-centered.
And if the other does always hold us before them,
guarding us and never letting us feel any uncomfort,
then what they are doing is hiding themselves from us.
The relationship is NOT authentic.
We have successfully required this other person, to mute themselves, change who they are, pretend at all cost and hide from us and themselves,
so that we can feel secure.
How is this love?
How is this respect?
How is this authentic relating?
It’s NOT.
Life is a risk.
24/7 you risk if you are breathing.
Security…
Safety…
It’s an illusion.
Love is risky.
And you can choose to lean into it and enjoy its bliss however long it lasts,
or you can shut it down and try and control it so that you can live in a mirage for however long it lasts.
One allows for growth and truth.
The other, causes bitterness and wounds that may never get repaired between people.
Which do you choose?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how you can move into a truly authentic, loving relationship and heal the wounds of your past so you can have a F-ck Yes life and relationship?
Message me today for deet’s on global and local coaching now.