SOMETIMES I JUST NEED AN ADULT PARTICIPATION AWARD…
Can you relate?
Do you sometimes just wish that someone would say,
“Hey I see ya doing all that adulting stuff over there, good job!”
Sometimes do you just wish that someone would acknowledge your pain and struggle with you? Or say hey, life is not fair.
Do you wish that your partner or friend would just recognize that you are off a bit, read your mind, or just pat you on the head per se?
Acknowledgement.
We all want it.
We need it to a degree.
Or so we are raised these days to believe.
We live in a society of adults that were raised with their mama’s praising them for everything, running to their side every time they got a bang on the knee, not allowing them to feel the pain, move through it, problem solve it and “grow a pair” of their own.
We live in a world today where we don’t have winners and losers.
We have a good job for showing the f-ck uppers!
Participation in life is an accomplishment it seems.
And because of this piss poor upbringing we believe that we are entitled to life handing us something without us having to do the actual work for it.
Or feel the pain in the gain to achieve it.
Or to build the muscles to have the strength to succeed in anything.
We have a society of adults who are overgrown infants wanting to suckle at the bottle of life everytime they don’t get the recognition that they “believe” is theirs.
And this leads to tons of issues.
This weekend I read an article on just this and as I sat there with my youngest children who are both boys, screaming and fighting with each other, running onto the play set yelling back at me,
“Mom, mom…. look at me… aren’t you proud of me climbing up the stairs, sliding down the slide, being this high up…”
Wanting recognition for participating in being alive, in being a child.
I wondered how many parents out there would say,
“Good job honey, I am so proud of you. You are such a big kid.”
Pat.
Pat.
Pat.
The majority would, right?
Maybe you would even.
I did not.
I glanced at them, smiled slightly and made eye contact.
That’s all they got from me.
They had nothing to get a big pat on the head for,
and the last thing I want to raise are adults that believe that this world owes them something, that their happiness and centeredness or feeling of being lovable or worthy of blessings should ever come from an outside source of being acknowledged and patted on the ego.
Now you may very well differ and that is great if you do.
Maybe you believe that constant acknowledgement and recognition, false awards and making sure that no one’s feelings get hurt or that no one whacks another a little around in a good tossel or a race is the way that life’s supposed to work.
But I ask you this…
where else in life does this happen?
If you look at any other living creature out there on this planet of ours, where does life baby you? where does it pat you on the head and give you a participation award, go light on you because you are struggling or have gone through whatever sh*t?
The answer is no where.
Now you might say, well Kendal we are not wild animals.
We are advanced with intellect and we live in a civilized society.
For the most part yes.
But it’s a weak society.
A society that allows its liberties and freedoms to be stripped from it because everyone is running scared.
Because no one knows how to put in the elbow grease or take a MF hit on the field of life.
Our society takes offense to EVERYTHING.
You are damned no matter what in today’s world.
If you don’t say it politically correct on whatever given day it is then F-ck! You are ruined for life.
If you don’t make sure that you are always taking care of everyone else’s feelings and thoughts, views and attitudes well then you are horrible and self-centered.
Uncaring.
Not kind.
Have boundaries just not with him, her, her, or him.
Take care of yourself unless it interferes with you taking care of me.
Live your truth unless I don’t like it.
You are powerful unless I deem others because you are not doing life the way I think you should.
And oh yeah, pat me on the MF head for being the best friend, the best husband or wife, the best lover, the best… the best….
You know that you could not do life without me.
So tell me so, damn it!
P-A-T M-E O-N T-H-E H-E-A-D!
Tell me that for showing up this morning, breathing and just being here that I am good.
That I you owe me.
That you see me.
Recognize me.
Well folks….
That’s not reality.
Life supports the strong.
Life supports the bold.
Life supports those who support themselves.
Life supports the ones who don’t need the recognition and can just put their heads down and do the damn thing they need to do because they know that they need to do it, because that damn thing, is the damn thing that scares the sh*t out of them and their soul is pushing them to do, no matter anyone else.
Especially all those participation award folks.
And when you gain recognition and awards by just doing the damn thing, guess what?
You sure AF don’t hand over accolaids to others who just showed up on the MF sidelines of life that day.
Demanding that they have a right to your time, your money, your love, your space, or your energy in any fashion.
There is a BIG difference between recognition and love I want to add. That is there is a big difference between authentic love and recognition.
And a major issue with this participation award society outside of training us that we are owed a win when we have not earned it, or we are safe in the face of danger because someone has always saved us, or that we always will have someone running to our side to pick up the pieces and kiss our boo-boo’s when a true adult sucks it up and know that they have to hold themselves in all ways the majority of the time and that it is no one else’s responsibility to save us, make us happy or feel safe.
But on top of all of this vitally important life success training that is NOT happening, and the lack of character building that our society is struggling with or ability to KNOW WTF we are as individuals in any area of life without someone else leading us first and telling us that it’s okay, we have a society believing that recognition is a sign of love.
That applauds equal love.
So far from the truth we have fallen.
This is why so many people are lost and will fall for false love, end up being used and abused, and trying to constantly be something for someone else that they are not.
This is why so many are out of soul alignment.
They misjudge what true love is and they do not know themselves.
They are blocked from their core.
From their strength.
I ask you, how important is it that you get the pat on the head?
Do you believe that recognition and constant approval and noticing of the fact that you exist is actual love?
Do you find your strength here?
Or can you feel your weakness?
Time to wake the f-ck up my love.
You are worthy.
You are lovable.
You are valuable.
You are beautiful.
Recognize these facts in your core.
Stop needing the false approval of this world.
You must choose if you are a sheep or if you are a lion.
Life favors one,
the other is blinded by the wool it chooses to hide behind.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
kendalwilliams.com