But is that true?
We would like to believe that it is just this way,
however if we are honest with ourselves there is something that is so much more rare, more important and powerful in letting us know that we can trust someone…
All relationships need trust in order to be successful.
For us to open to love fully,
to surrender our deepest hearts to another,
to open our bodies to pleasure with our mate,
or to reveal our pain,
we must have TRUST.
Through the course of time and engagement with different people in different relationships we learn that trust is hard to have.
We discover that many people all though they “think” themselves trustworthy, believe that they are worthy of being trusted and that their actions and words support that more than often it is not so.
More frequently then not we learn that those that we trust in are acting from a self-centered aspect only giving of themselves and speaking out of a desire to receive and therefore will make themselves into anything needed to be perceived as steadfast and true.
But a person who does not know themselves,
who is not able to be true to their own thoughts, feelings and needs and is willing to “pretend” or mask is a person that is far from trustworthy.
Only when we can stand firm in self,
not needing of anyone else to affirm to us that we are good, loveable, worthy, trustworthy, etc. can we be true to someone else.
And that is what we are wanting in our relationships.
Especially in our most intimate primary love relationships.
We want to know that our partner is true.
We want to know that if the sh*t were to hit the fan that they are there for us, no matter.
We want to know that they have our backs in battle and in love.
We want to know that even if they do not agree with us that they value the relationship more than they value being right or making a point.
And rock solid comes from unshakable trust in each other.
Trust is established, built and supported not by truth but by support of each other despite opinions, beliefs and even truth.
Trust must come from a harmony of knowing that we are supported fully but also that our partner will be honest with us.
Meaning that they will always share their feelings and thoughts around things no matter how different or challenging, but will not allow for those feelings and thoughts to take center stage and offset the unity and foundation of the relationship.
There must be an understanding that there is a difference between truth and honesty.
Truth is subject to one’s own perception and experiences and then made into a fact unless scientifically revealed. Even our own truth in history is subject to opinion and written by those who conquered for the most part. Often truth is based in a need to be right or to set something straight.
Where honesty, although still subject to one’s own perceptions and experience is a sharing of our core views, beliefs and feelings. True honesty is based on surrender and trust of being received.
If you know that you cannot fall, how far can you go in life?
What sort of life challenges can you overcome?
If you know that there is no goodbye in your relationship, how deep can you surrender to your soul and into the revealing of it with another?
If you know that even if you are wrong in a choice or opinion that your back is had in every turn without question, how much more powerful and even able to hear and see the truth could you be?
Trust equals freedom to be you and surrender fully into the relationship.
How are you showing up for your love?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Rene’ S. (KW)
Explore the depths of what is needed to build trust and enjoy a rock solid commitment with your partner. Reach out to me for my elite couples coaching today.