Over and over again I hear women say, “I don’t need a man to take care of me.”
This is quickly followed up with:
I want a man that I can trust.
A man that I feel safe with.
A good father.
Someone who can share his heart with me.
A man that is romantic.
A man that will respect me.
A good listener.
And the list could go on for an eternity, but we will stop there for the context of this. My point to this share of what women say they want and do not want is simple and even humorous in truth. How can a man be all the things on this list here and not be “taking care” of his woman?
These traits that are desired are all about taking care of one’s partner, girlfriend, wife.
These traits should also be mandatory when a woman is seriously considering dating a man. And gentlemen out there, if you believe that these things do not matter for whatever reason, then you’re wrong. They are some of the basic characteristics of not only a “good man” but also a mature, serious minded, deeply soulful, intelligent, wise, and true man. A lot goes into being a man of this character level and if a woman does not do her work first on herself, in knowing herself and then in straight forward inquiry with a potential partner and just believes that she “does not need any man to take care of her” because the idea of leaning into her feminine and allowing a man to hold her like this list above states, then she is a consciously broken woman.
Granted, our world is working hard to teach men and women alike that we should not need each other. That a woman who leans into her feminine power and into the leadership of a true man, a good man is considered weak or negatively vulnerable. Men are quickly getting feminized and told that any signs of masculine traits or energy is toxic. Making many men of all ages fearful to stand strong in their authentic nature.
The reality of relating – no matter your political views, your social status, religious upbringing or otherwise is that a woman will never respect nor trust a man that cannot lead her!
If you are someone who is looking for your soulmate, your partner for life then you have to get right with what you are saying that you want; that being union with someone in all areas of life. Marriage, with or without the legal paperwork is about entwining oneself with another. Two becoming one, because together we are stronger. However, many people today do not view marriage or union in this fashion and that is deeply sad and something to talk about another day.
A woman who believes that she does not need a man, that she can carry the burdens of life all on her own just fine is a woman who is not standing in her own feminine power. She is fearful of her creativity, her feminine leadership, and is untrusting of herself to let go of the reins and co-pilot this thing called life with someone. She is wounded at a deep level and has not done her own healing work.
As a man, if you think that pursuing this self-sufficient woman type, because she appears strong, emotionally mature, low drama, confident and let’s face it many men are not really men and want to remain boys, allowing a mommy figure to “just take care of them” – then you are setting yourself up for a relationship full of drama, pain, arguments, bitterness and resentments, cheating perhaps and disrespect. Hopefully, that does not sound like fun to you, but it’s very true! And it’s because, like I said before, a woman will never respect a man that cannot lead her.
So if you are a dude who seems to only be attracted to this female type and keeps having negative results in finding your partner for life, only to find yourself questioning what’s wrong with you and why you are not good enough, or even feel shameful around being a man, then realize this: If you want a woman to be able to lean into her feminine power and soften with you, trust in you, respect you and love you for the amazing man that you know that you are, then you must without a doubt, be unapologetically authentic from the first moment of interaction with a woman. Trying to be all hip and show up as one of these feminized men out there when that’s not who you are will only get you dates with women who have not done their own work and understand the power of the feminine/masculine union.
Don’t let this discourage you though. There truly are women out there who want good men – key word to focus on is -good. That means what I shared here, a man who is trustworthy, stands in his integrity, has self-control, is self-aware, depth of character, and emotionally mature. These are all traits of a leader by the way. And the right woman is wanting just this from you and will do massive inquiry and testing of you to see if you have what it takes to let her know she is safe to drop down into her feminine power and let you lead.
If you are a man 40+ looking for love, wanting to attract your partner for life then reach out to me today for a free consultation to discuss what a custom blueprint for coaching with defined action steps might look like for you. My clients who follow my signature program typically see a significant shift in their dating game and results with women in 16 weeks or less. So what are you waiting for? Let’s find her!
Loving you from here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
-Love Success Coach Rene’