WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT WANTS TO GO AGAINST OUR BIOLOGY.
Well, mostly we women that is.
Guys will claim THIS, but somewhere inside they get it is not so, they know that they claim it to just keep that doorway there,
where we women tend to want to disregard, ignore and act as though we are above our biology.
It was not that long ago that I was one of these women myself.
I thought that I could manage it.
I truly believed that I could have the relationship and it just be what I was calling it and that both parties were feeling the same way.
I believed that we were elevated in consciousness to the level that sexual desire did not play a role and that I could seriously “just be friends” with my male friends and that they were down for it just being that and even wanted just that.
THEN I came into the awareness that most if not all of my male friends were actually attracted to me and that if given the opportunity would happily walk through the door of a sexual encounter with me. So I justified the friendship by saying that they respected me and my wishes and that it was manageable.
I came to terms, with if a guy was hanging out in my life as a friend of some nature that he most likely wanted to bed me and I then believed that that was just the way it was and I had to accept it, but could still have the friendships, just needed to be aware.
After all, I am one of those women who has never not had a male friendship since I was 2 – years old.
I have had far more “good” friendships with men than with women over the course of my life.
The thought of giving up my male friendships pained me.
Feeling as though I would have no one left in my true friendship circle if I dumped the guys.
Then I had a few conversations with my son’s who are grown and almost grown, with some of these male friends, with male clients and even with my man.
Their shares can be summed up here,
“Why would I hang out with a female if I was not attracted to her? If I wanted to hang out for all the reasons we guys hang out and do what we guys do, then I would certainly choose to hang out with a guy friend, not a female.”
They all came back with, if they were hanging with a female there were desires to be with her intimately.
And I started to really allow myself to feel this.
To get right with male/female relating.
I looked at my conversations, my shared moments with the majority of my male friends and saw the intimateness.
Sure there was no sex, there was no kissing or intimate touch, but we certainly did share intimacy. Only the kind of intimacy that you can get from the opposite sex.
That vibe.
That feeling.
There was even a flirtiness at times.
Beautiful as it is, it is ground that is not stable.
And no matter how respectful and loyal a male friend can be to us women, if given the opportunity to have a door crack open and him get a chance to be with us, he will.
Meaning that if you are a committed woman, in any label of relationship out there (and I have been under a few labels over the course of the last two decades) that if you are pissed, upset, feeling disconnected in any fashion or form with YOUR MAN, and you share confidence with a male friend, know that you are cracking a door open.
If you are a single woman and you have guy friends,
and believe that they can maintain without issues,
understand first you are almost being cruel to the men in your life,
because without realizing it you are teasing them.
Yes just by being you.
Just by doing you.
If you want to be taken on dates,
experience the male energy,
etc. then perhaps looking at doing just that is the answer.
GO ON A DATE.
And realize that often the best romantic and intimate relationships are based in friendship.
The fact that you think of a man as a good friend,
If you have a trust, a vulnerability there, a fun playfulness with your male friend and you are both open to a relationship that is of more than your pseudo friendship, then maybe the universe has already blessed you with a wonderful man to explore in a romantic fashion.
If you are good with just “managing” these male relationships and keeping them at bay in some fashion, ask yourself:
💃 What am I really gaining from this friendship or looking for with it if I know that he wants me sexually but is just holding back because of what I have stated the boundaries are?
💃 How can this male friendship impact (positively /negatively) an intimate relationship I am in or want to be in?
💃 If I was in an intimate relationship with someone and they were having deep conversations, moments and connections of a vulnerable/intimate yet non-sexual version with another woman frequently what sort of impact would that have on the relationship? Emotionally? Physically?Energetically?
💃 What does significant other or primary relationship mean to me and how does opposite sex relationships outside of this hinder or support?
Now, I know what you might be feeling.
You may say, that is such an emotionally immature way of looking at relationships.
You may say that a “conscious man” is above this.
You may say that there is zero harm from being flirty with your male friends, no matter if you are in a romantic relationship or not with someone else.
You may actually believe and point to lifelong friendships that have never let you down and you are certain that they are “just a brother” to you.
I have thought all of this.
I have believed all of this.
And repeatedly been blown out of the water from these.
We cannot deny our biology.
Men are men.
Women are women.
And we relate differently.
We bond differently.
Men love boobs, booty, legs, hair, our eyes and are wanting to explore us inside and out.
They will smile, chat it up, be helpful and drive from a state away to to show us how much they want to give us their attention.
They will support us in the worst of times.
They will applaud us in the best of times.
And they mean it.
But they still want the woman that stands before them.
They would not be putting their attention on us if they did not desire us in some fashion.
This is why so many men fall in the face of a woman’s attention.
Wars have been based, fought and won for the chance to be with a woman.
It’s just biology.
We women need to get right with it and stop being silly,
thinking that it’s harmless however.
Time to level up your relating.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Believing
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.
This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.