💃WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL?👈💃
We ladies can be so needy sometimes and not even realize what we are doing. Granted, today I am sharing some most likely pretty obvious things that we ladies are guilty of asking our men, however my point in sharing these things is to enlightened the women of my page as to what is really going on when we reach out with this sort of inquiry and what we can do to better ourselves.
Self-love and acceptance is vital to an emotionally healthy person and relationship with another. Both sexes have numerous challenges around self-love and it often shows up in our communication with our partners. Personally speaking I can recall many times when I have been guilty of asking these questions myself, granted after doing much deep internal work it is rare today that I ask such things, but I do still realize when the words come off my lips what is actually at play and it has nothing to do with the question asked or my partner.
Instead it is 👉ALL ABOUT ME 👈and my own insecurity in the relationship or myself.
Here is the reality, we women often are guilty of giving up our power to men when we are in relationship, we do this in so many ways from not being able to make clear decisions when he asks us a questions around what we want/need, we fear hurting his feelings or ego, we get caught up in performance issues, wanting to be perfect all the time, making sure that he believes that he is always pleasing us in bed and will say that there is nothing bothering us in the relationship. Women are great at faking it! All the while we get overly fixated on what he is doing and what’s going on in all areas of his life. We end up operating from a place of diffused hyper focus, meaning we focus on EVERYTHING and see EVERYTHING as a threat.
This is giving our power away and not operating from a place of self-love, trust in the relationship or him and only from the defense.
Leading us to needing what might appear like constant validation from him.
If you are a woman, in a relationship and guilty of saying any of these following statements or some version of them, then pause for a moment, go internal and breathe into your heart. Hear me now beautiful…
🥰🌹👉YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO VALIDATE YOU TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!👈🌹🥰
💃Does this dress/outfit make me look fat/bad? – Perhaps one of the most common and old statements in the book when talking about women, however there is still a reason for it and that is that we ladies are dang good at setting these traps for our men. Most men today know not to take the bait but I ask you this…
How would you feel if he said yes?
A general rule of thumb and emotional maturity understanding in relationship and life is DON’T ASK A QUESTION IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ANSWER.
So often we ask questions and then get upset or hurt by the response we get because it’s not in alignment to what we had hoped or wanted, then we finger point and blame the other person for being insensitive to our feelings and needs. This is not a mature response nor is it coming from a place of inner power. It sets us into victimhood and has us wounded around every corner.
I can tell you that this question is one you should just avoid.
Especially if you are a sensitive soul. Youmay believe that you want the truth, you want to know his opinion and want to know that he finds you attractive and beautiful but I have discovered over the course of a few relationships that if your man cares about you, desires you and is present with you…
💥YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO EVER ASK THIS QUESTION. 💥
Instead you will get an unasked for response that is something like this, “Wow babe! You’re stunning/hot/beautiful.”
You will see your man light up like you were standing before him naked. His turn on will be obvious.
💃Have you noticed anything different about me? – We ask this typically when we cut our hair, got our nails done, bought a new dress, etc. We are looking to see how tuned in he is to the subtle changes that we have made. And we are inquiring because we desire to know that he is focused on us at the level that so many women tend to focus on their man. Again we are searching for acknowledgement and validation from him to make ourselves feel safe and good.
We women need to understand that men are pretty simple creatures. Yes they are deep and complex but they are more hyper focused on what is happening right in front of them then looking at every little detail of what is going on in our lives as women. They are designed to be fixers, leaders and protectors. If anything in these areas arises then they are on it, a knight in shining armour ready to serve the woman he loves. Your change of lipstick color is not on that list and although he may notice how beautiful you are he may not put 1+1 together that your lips are a different color than yesterday. Taking offense or thinking he is not being present enough from this is simply expecting a man to observe life more like a woman than the man that he is.
At our core we women understand this, and what we are looking for is a need to be seen, appreciated and told we are beautiful, good, worthy of his love instead of knowing we are loveable and whole just as we are.
💃Do you think that woman is prettier than me? – Or some version of this. So many women will set a trap here too and point out an attractive woman by saying something about the other woman’s dress, hair, eyes or what have you to draw her man’s attention there slyly. Again, be careful what you ask!!!! Most men recognize that his woman is looking for the response, “No babe, you are far more beautiful than her.”
The reason we women ask this is because we are feeling insecure in our bodies or in the relationship. This particular question is a major sign of a fear and insecurity under the surface. Sometimes women who feel their mate might be cheating on them will start to ask these questions and pay great attention to where her man’s eyes are going when out to dinner or other public events. Granted with affair rates ever escalating in committed relationships of today, there are plenty of good reasons for many women to be on the defense. We women need to realise that one reason out of many for why men cheat is because they are attracted to the confidence of another woman that we have lost. And much like a man who exhibits low-self esteem and confidence, it’s not attractive. Realize that when you as a woman reclaim your own power and focus on self-love and self-validation that you start to radiate again.
You must shift the narrative in your head to, ” I don’t need validation or approval from anyone to feel good about myself. I can feel good and love myself.”
💃What’s wrong babe? – My partner and I are deeply connected emotionally, mentally, energetically and physically. When he is ‘off’ I feel it right away and I feel insecure right away as well. His offness creates a fear in me that I have done something wrong, set him off, that he is pulling away from me and I have a deep desire to reel him back in. My concern rushes through my body and I start to over analyze myself and him.
THAT’S THE TRUTH.
I am a human woman. I have my fears and concerns and my baggage. Just like anyone. But this inquiry is still no good, even though I am guilty of offering it up to him more frequently then I should.
There are going to be times in relationships that our partner or us are out of sorts. We are going to notice this energetic/emotional change. The feminine wants to inquire, talk about it, emotionalize it, share tears and support each other. We women move through these times by venting. Men on the other hand, not so much.
Men need to be able to go internal and contemplate. They need to navigate their own emotions and thoughts without our neediness to be validated by them while they are problem solving. The one thing you can be certain of with a man who is strong in his masculine energy and who he is, is that if he has an issue he will bring it up pretty quickly. He is not going to let it sit and fester.
Most of the time when a man grows distant with his woman for a split second it has nothing to do with her or the relationship.
Again men are more hyper focused on what is right before them, unless they are problem solving a greater picture item or planning the future. However, for most life challenges they are dealing with whatever problem has made itself known in front of them. And this could be related to work, health, house, family, etc.
Where we women like to wrap it all together and hyper focus from a more global view making everything about us and the relationship.
💃What are you thinking? – This should have been number one or two in truth as it’s right in alignment with the last bullet point. We ladies are notorious for asking our men this question when we feel he is not being present with us and often this happens when he is focused on something else such as a sports game, a work project, or just chilling watching birds. Women in general have more issues with silence than men in relationships. Silence equates to disconnect. The natural feminine wants to be vocal and chit chat. Vent and share.
However, the natural mascuiline is about directness. It’s logical and based on what is needed versus taking up space with things that are just wasters of time, energy, or focus.
💥MEN FOCUS ON WHAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM.💥
So when you step into the path and shift his focus from what he was problem solving, contemplating or him just escaping away to his ‘nothing box’ as Mark Gungor shares in his talk, ‘The Tale of Two Brains” which I highly recommend all men and women who are in relationship or want in relationship listen to the full version of on Youtube, that you are shifting the narrative to:
“What are you thinking?”
Only says, I am feeling insecure and I need you to validate me and tell me we are good, safe and I am good and safe.
👊🤯💃LADIES, ALL OF THESE THINGS REFLECT A LEVEL OF NEEDINESS THAT IS NOT SUPPORTIVE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR YOUR MAN.💃🤯👊
Let alone yourelf.
It’s high time, we women get clear on loving ourselves.
If we want to live a life of abundance and devote ourselves to love and a soulmate relationship, then we have to do our own deep inner work and know that we are worthy without the validation from anyone else.
Consistently, handing over our power in relationships and allowing ourselves to feel this level of insecurity creates a wishy-washy energy and makes us appear less attractive, strong, centered and trust worthy to a high value man.
We are more likely to step away from our authentic selves and offer up what we feel will keep the peace or to try and become something that we believe he wants instead of being who we truly are.
💥A HIGH VALUE MAN DOES NOT WANT THIS VERSION OF YOU. HE WANTS YOUR AUTHENTIC YES OR NO. HE WANTS YOUR BRILLIANCE AND CONFIDENCE.💥
And he most certainly does not want to feel like he is responsible for your emotions.
Which he is not!
👉Ready to step into a conscious, loving, emotionally mature soulmate relationship?
👉Desiring to feel complete in yourself and no longer needing validation from any man?
👉Wanting to immerse yourself in the relationship of your dreams but tired of calling in men who cannot hold you?
Then it’s time to claim your power.
Reach out to me today to learn the secrets and mysteries of the empowered women.
Loving you from here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.