SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…
IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?
You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,
and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,
but you can’t.
It hurts too effing bad.
You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,
you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,
and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.
The thoughts,
the fears,
worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,
just like life is sucking. And you question….
Is any of this even worth it?
Does anyone really care?
Do I matter?
And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?
The blame game is a nasty one,
and you know it’s not even accurate,
but there you go anyway,
down that rabbit hole,
feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.
Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,
you have no reason to continue so it appears,
your heart is shattered and no one sees it,
or cares.
You are lost.
Lost in your pain.
Lost in your inability to love yourself.
Lost in your fear of change.
Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.
Your ego has you by the balls,
and there is a strange fulfillment in it.
Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.
But it is true.
You are happy here in this suffering,
it is serving you for the time.
It is gaining you the attention that you desire,
it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.
Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,
to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.
And to this there is an inner smiling.
But not for long.
Quickly you dismiss it.
And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,
pointing more fingers,
spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.
Confirming your misery.
And controlling that it will not leave you.
Yes my love,
Did you catch that?
You are controlling your pain.
You are forcing it to stay with you.
You are the one who is hanging on to it.
You are truly that powerful,
that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.
You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.
Choosing blindness over sight.
Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.
Choosing to control them,
through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.
But if you could just breathe.
If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.
If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,
let the tears stream without attachment,
without a need to think about them,
but to just let them go.
If you could do this and breathe.
Deeper and deeper,
letting yourself feel yourself and love,
love you for all your humanness,
and your tender beauty and powerful soul,
then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.
Perhaps then you could come from your strength.
From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,
embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.
If you could do this for only one minute today,
just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?
Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.
Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,
you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.
You question your worthiness…
yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.
You question if you should continue on…
yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.
You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.
And the reality is the same for any of us…
We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.
When we are done with the service that pain offers.
When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.
Ready to surrender to your true nature,
to create a life of thriving.
But first you must question…..
How is this suffering serving me?
Why am I so attached to this pain?
How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?
And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.
You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….
for how you….
YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.
Are you ready to turn the corner?
Because this world needs your light.
And you my dear,
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.
You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.
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