🥰🔥🍆GET YOUR EFFING ORGASM & DESIRE OUT OF MY FACE!!!🍆🔥🥰
Maybe it is shaming?
Maybe I should just be down with it?
Maybe I am over sensitive and need to just respect the feelings, sentiments, desire, love and shares that some individuals “need” to put on me.
Maybe, I should put their needs before my personal and couplehood boundaries?
What do you think?
I would really like to know in truth.
The funniest thing about what I am writing today is that I want to gag on my own effing words that I have attempted to paint a clear picture and feeling on over the last decade plus.
I used to have a coaching program called, “Orgasmic Life Coaching.”
I used to preach about living a “turned on life,” about breathing into your desire and following your bliss like Joseph Campbell spoke of.
I used to speak on these topics and fought the mainstream ideas around them, in hopes that my fellow humans could grasp the beauty in being ignited and living in a state of creative flow and “turn on.”
And in many ways, I still desire this.
I wish that these terms could be understood better, but the reality is that society is immature MFers.
And now, I want to puke about statements that used to be commonplace verbiage of mine.
🙏But it does stir some very important topics, and that being sexual maturity, boundaries and sacredness.🙏
There seems to be an onslaught of ideas around sensitivity to other feelings.
And in the same, there is no respect for feelings.
Its sheer craziness in truth.
I need to care about how much love you have for everyone,
how you want to share your heart, your desire, your arousal, your needs, your wants to just be seen, felt, appreciated, but I have no right to say, ” I don’t want your love, your attention, your desire, your arousal, your anything.”
In a land that values the right to be you and say no to the norm, no to fitting into a mold we are also making it illegal and shameful to say no to having your personal, sexual, and relationship boundaries breached.
Recently, I was working with a couple and the woman was sharing how there was a man at her work who kept telling her very intimate matters about his sex life. He would share about his stamina, how great he was in bed, how caring, compassionate of a lover he was and how he really knew how to treat a woman. This client of mine is in a committed relationship and madly in love with her partner with no desire to look outside her relationship.
👉She asked me if she was wrong to feel as though her personal and relationship boundaries were being crossed?
👉She wanted to know if it were okay for her to share with this man that she did not appreciate his vivid shares and found it disrespectful?
You see she was buying into the popular view that if she said STOP to this guy that she would be shaming him in some fashion. That she would be in the wrong and she did not want to “hurt” his feelings. Afterall, he was not really doing anything wrong. He was just sharing and talking to her as a friend.
Or was he?
And where is the respect for her and her relationship?
It made me think of many years ago when I was out on the dating scene and I was out on a first time date with a man at a local wine bar. The date started out normal and fine, we met, he gave me a hug hello, we sat across from each other and drank a glass of wine, shared some appetizers and chatted. Everything was going good until he decided to let me see his arousal. 😳🍆💥
I will never forget…
He leaned back in his chair, smiled at me, watching me talk.
I could sense that he was very tuned into my lips moving.
His hand rested on his thigh, not touching anything but quickly I could see that he was aroused physically.
He told me that he really “loved my energy.”
Even as a single woman in this moment of time, I did not appreciate nor want his arousal on display for me. In truth, it’s extremely sexually immature to not have control over your genitals as a man, making yourself a victim to the “energies” around you.
Just like the person who has to tell you how great they are in bed, how amazing they are, why… Why are you doing that?
The objective for this man I was on the date with was to bed me obviously. He was hopeful that I would notice, which I did, and that I would not be able to say no. That I would have a desire that I could not overcome and become a victim to my “feelings.”
It did not work for him.
In truth I am disgusted by individuals who have zero to no control.
And it is not my problem, nor responsibility if someone has desires that are not being met.
💥Just because you have a desire…
💥Just because you are aroused…
💥Just because you feel turned on and stimulated by whatever…
👊DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU NEED TO SHARE IT!👊
And the sexually, emotionally, spiritually mature soul understands and appreciates this very truth.
It’s called respect for your fellow human beings.
It’s called being a MF grown up.
It’s called taking responsibility for yourself, your body, thoughts and feelings.
So NO, NO I don’t want to know how you perform in bed.
No, I don’t want to know how much love you have in your heart.
No, I don’t want you to share how beautiful, hot, sexy or whatever “complementive” word you use, that you think I am.
No, I don’t want your 🍆🔥🥰😻.
Now if you have something to share about your views about a topic, or a question to something.
If you want to discuss things around the world, relating, health, spirituality, children, investing, business, or something…
Then good.
If you want me to give a flying “F” about your arousal, turn on, love, desire that you suddenly believe you need to slam into my face and anyone else who you have it for…
Well That I count as effing immature and disrespectful.
And if you really “love” me so much, then you will get it out of my face.
Do you know why sex is referered to as intimacy?
Why is it something that is “private” between the people who are engaging in it?
Because it is just that…
It’s a sacredness between the individuals that are engaged in it.
Intimacy is not something that you are to just experience with everyone.
🙏There is a sacredness to intimacy.🙏
Otherwise, there is no specialness to the relationship, to the feelings, to the love.
And perhaps this is exactly where our world is headed.
There are no more identifying boundaries.
No more sacredness in relationships.
No more rights to have something that no one else is allowed into.
💥WE MUST BE ALL INCLUSIVE SO WE DON’T HURT ANYONE’S FEELINGS. 💥
And we must mature past the idea that if a man gets aroused by a woman and let it be known, verbally, emoji, or even physically shown in some fashion, that his ‘feelings” are more important than hers and she need to not shame him, not find disrespect in it, but instead effing applaud him for his “turn on” and thank him for just being authentically him. 🤦♀️After all, he needs to feel ‘safe’ being a man and in his arousal.
It’s sorta funny when I write it.
I can see so many other issues with this way of thinking.
And the sick thing is that I am just picking on arousal, desire, and our sex here. The boundaries that get stomped on for the individuals and the couples who are to allow others to share their feelings and needs without concern.
But it’s prevalent in a thousand other things in our world today as well.
Maybe you can see the correlation?
Maybe not?
All I can tell you is that if we keep down this path of making ourselves victims..
putting everyone else in charge of our feelings…
Slamming people for saying “no, I am not okay with your feelings overriding my feelings and that you think that I should put you first when you are not my child, my family, my mate?”
That this once beautiful concept of “take care of your community” is going to create utter destruction and separation.
💥The answers are always found within. 💥
Feeling good about yourself, feeling loveable, beautiful, worthy, valuable ALWAYS comes from inside.
And if you really want that,
You have to take self-responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, feelings ( including your arousal and desire) and your physical display.
If you want to be respected for how you choose to identify.
For who you are and what you want to create in life.
If you want to really be a changemaker…
Then respect the boundaries of others first.
Respect their relationships.
Respect their religion.
Respect their political views.
Respect their yes or no.
And above all else, realize that they don’t have to put your “feelings” in front of theirs. A healthy and smart individual will always put the oxygen mask on themselves first knowing that they will be more useful to the community by taking care of themselves first.
Just my rant thoughts for today.
Hopefully you find something to ponder, to inquire on, to explore in your heart and mind.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”