THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM DEPRESSION, FEAR & ANXIETY.

LETTING YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET TODAY, REALLY A VULNERABLE SHARE OF MY TRUTH…
I love to numb out.
When a wave of emotion or “feelings” come my way and I get that tension in my chest or gut, I look at those feelings and say, “Nope, not today!” and I turn and run from them. I find myself aimlessly surfing through my emails, social media, allowing all my boundaries to get crossed by my friends, family, and my partner. I welcome the sidetracks. I might grab a glass of wine or one too many sippers of my favorite whiskey. I find myself standing in front of the pantry, the freezer or fridge completely blank in my stare, but hungry to my core. Avoiding these scary things that are lurking inside of me.
I find myself wanting to shelter myself with whatever measures I can from the storm of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, loneliness, lostness, guilt, or pain that I don’t want to deal with at that moment. Now, as a coach with thousands of hours of training and in office practice on these subjects plus my own healing that I have gone through since I was in my late teen years, I am very aware of how my actions of avoidance are not great coping mechanisms, in fact they are massively counterproductive.
A lot has shifted in the way that I process my feelings about having feelings since I was 18.
I look back at youthful me, immature me and wish I could jump into a time machine and go back and smack some sense into myself. Back in the day, I numbed out strictly through avoidance of life. Everything was overwhelming to me. I literally was scared of my own shadow and walked pigeon-toed with my head hung, looking at just the steps before me. I was blessed and cursed to have a mother who helicopter parented me (although she did that because of her own codependency issues) and owned a clothing store that I helped run. This enabled me to avoid life, people and flapping my own wings all the more. To make matters better and worse, I home schooled. Which got me through high school a year and half early, kept me out of a shiz storm of trouble most likely but also did not teach me how to cope with the real world. The day I went for my first interview I almost passed out. I threw up and dropped into a three year old tantrum saying that I could not do it, that I was not good enough.
Seriously, a three year old tantrum, I am not kidding here AT ALL.
The kicking, yelling, tears, all of it. The whole show.
I recall my mother who had nothing to do with any of it but drove me there because I was too freaked out to get my diverse license. She was just in tears because she had no idea how to help me. She just told me that if I really did not want to go in, that I did not have too. I looked at her and felt ashamed. I was pathetic and I knew it. I did not want to let her down. So I went in, I got the job. It lasted three days, it was cold calling in a little box which felt like a prison. The worst thing I could imagine, spending hours calling strangers, ‘cus that’s what you should do when you have bad anxiety… just push through. And to a degree, yes, facing the fear and push through is the answer,but not without the tools to support. Of which I had zero.
So what did I do with my patheticness and inability to enter the world?
I shut down of course.
I colored my hair jet black.
I went goth, when goth was not a thing.
I cut my hair short.
And then I dyed it flaming red!
I told my mom that I was good just working at the store with her and living with her.
My mother was happy she was not losing her baby girl.
And thus became the true start of me learning how to numb out.
Step one – avoid what you fear.
Step two- grab a glass of wine.
Step three- change your outside image so you can pretend it never happened and you are not that pathetic person any longer. Which is just avoiding the true problem… The problem of self-love and acceptance is creating self-sabotage and the inability to walk strong in life.
Step four – grab the numbing drug of choice (alcohol, weed, food, sex, work, video games, social media, anything that shelters you and helps you to not feel the feelings of sadness and fear.)
Step five – if none of the above work, hide and sleep, praying the world will end or you won’t wake.
I recently read, “When you’re busy numbing out your feelings, your feelings are in the other room doing push-ups. Then, when you’re done smoking weed or watching Netflix or whatever you were doing to numb out, and you walk into the other room, you’re like, Wait a minute. These feelings are worse than they were before. That’s because you gave them all that time and space to do push-ups.” According to Caroline Fenkel, D.S.W., L.C.S.W., executive director of Newport Academy which is a rehab center for teens that deals with such issues as I was having and worse.
This statement is so very accurate and terrifying.
It is exactly what happens.
And it leaves one in a nasty loop of hopelessness.
The overwhelm of not believing that you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, equipt. Not knowing what to do and not really being able to hear the answers even when they are presented because the anxiety, fear, anger, depression keeps our cognition at a low level. It’s literally like we are three years old and operating from this space of the world being this big, scary place that WILL squish us if we venture out.
Well, my tale only got worse.
I spent my early adult years acting out and appearing to be a crazy chick.
God bless my poor husband at the time and our children for putting up to the best of their abilities with my issues.
Fast forward, I did manage to step out of my comfort zone and get my drivers license when I was 25. I know right… WOW! Big grown up step that was.
Fast forward through some more shiz, a bunch of heartache, fights, tears, losses and lessons, I did manage to get a bunch of study done, certifications in all sorts of psychological stuff and coaching, nutrition, energetic practices, and more. I discovered that I could numb out with being a f-cking fantastic student and I was just that. A quick learner. A great sponge. But then came a few years in my late twenties and up to 30 that I found myself tremendously lost in a deep depression. Mama to five babies. Remodeling a 1942 house in the middle of the Sierra Nevadas in California, no friends, my husband’s family around but I was alone. And I was done with life.
It got so bad that I could not leave my home. I refused to leave. I was convinced with every fiber of my body that if I left the house something horrible was going to happen. My negative self-talk and separation from society and life had cornered me into the darkest space I had ever ventured and it was ugly there in my mind. The feeling of sadness, anxiety, fear, anger and just feeling lost and not belonging anywhere as well as being totally unimportant to everyone including my husband and children overtook me. I shut down. I stopped eating. I stopped consuming anything but alcohol and some prescription drugs that allowed me to feel nothing.
I was wanting out.
And I had been pondering a plan as to how to go about it.
Now, I am not going to get into that tale any further, but God sent in an earth angel you could say to smack me around and guide me back to the light. Back to hope.
What this earth angel did and said is what I truly want to share with you today.
He told me, “Feel your feelings. You have a right to feel them. You are safe feeling them. We all have them.”
And then he told me to pull my head out of my a*s. That this world needed me and my heart.
He reminded me that I had tons of people in my life that needed me and if nothing else to get my shiz together for them.
Then he went on to not enable me in my guilt, fear, sadness or desire to create or cause myself pain and drama. Because that is what we do even though we do not want to admit it, we actually have this little voice in our head in these times that creates plans of how we can do harm to self to prove to ourselves that no one cares, or to create drama to show us that no one will show up for us, because we are that worthless. We have no desire to harm our loved ones, but the end result is that we do serious damage to self and others in this process.
My earth angel refused to let me create such a drama triangle.
He told me that I had to do this myself and that I had a big girl choice to make in my life right now. I could continue down this path and blow up my world and live in sadness alone, because I would push everyone away. That I WOULD PUSH THEM AWAY. Not them leave of their own free will. Or I could do what I was thinking of and take my life, put an end to it and abandon my loved one, destroy their lives. OR…. I could choose to reclaim my life.
Reclaim my life?
Then he shared his own story of being on the ground with depression and wanting to take a gun and end it all and how he was pulled out by his earth angel in the last moment. He told me how he had to relearn himself and find a safe space inside of himself.
I realized that I was not alone and that if he could do it, so could I.
From there I chose each day to feel.
I chose to take the action steps I needed to to support myself and to learn how to fall in love with ME. To accept myself no matter what.
And I learned to stop looking outside of my own backyard for approval and love.
But I had to stop the insanity of running to the 1,2,3 of numbing out so quickly.
I had to learn what my go-to numbing behaviours were and what they changed too as time went on. I had to keep tabs on them and still do, because those behaviours and desire to hide from my emotions and feelings are still with me, but today I know that its healthy to feel ALL OF LIFE. I know that in order for me to feel the ratures of love with my partner and surrender my heart in my partnership as well as be blessed with the joy of being a grandmother and witnessing my now seven children grow, that I am required to feel.
To feel it all.
In order for me to do the work that I do with countless women and couples, I have to be able to tap into who I am and feel the correct thing to guide them, to support them and that I could not do this if I numbed out.
I would be missing my beautiful blessed life if I allowed myself to hide from me.
I also had to learn how to identify my feelings. I actually started a practice of naming my feelings. Getting okay with them. I journaled on them. I felt them. I became friends with them, even the ones that scared me.
For me to befriend even the negative ones, I had to stop judging my feelings. This was tough. I am a super critical soul. But step by step. I did it more frequently. And I still judge them here and there, but I have learned grace and compassion with my feelings and thus myself to allow for error.
I started a practice of inquiry with my feelings, as though they were my therapist or friend. I asked them, “What do you want me to know?” Then I asked myself, “Is that true?” and I kept asking that until I moved past my fear and ego and found my truth.
Then I learned to not hold onto the feelings but to get moving mindfully and safely. Today you will find me doing random things, I clean with velocity, I take a quick paced walk, I ask to go do an activity with a loved one that gets my body moving and if I don’t want any of that, I let the tears roll. I scream in a pillow, I punch my mattress or the punching bag. I move the emotion from getting stored up and creating physical memory in my body.
Nowadays, I teach a lot of sensational talk with my clients. I teach them to communicate what the sensations in their body are instead of what they “think” or have coming up as an emotion. The mind body connection is powerful and cannot be ignored in the healing process of emotional distress.
I created something called the Pause Button and I use this exercise often with my couples that I work with to help them process through what they are feeling and want to communicate but perhaps are not in the right frame of mind or literal space to do so. This came about because one thing I had to learn to get okay with was hitting pause on my own emotions and allowing myself to step away from a situation, person or even the emotions in that moment. I felt like I was avoiding them, but what I was doing was honoring the reality that it was not a safe space to deal with them right there.
Today, one of my biggest coping mechanisms and numb outs is distraction. I am damn good at it. But what is important to realize about distraction is that it is exhausting AF! You can get too much on your plate in a hurry and have nothing left to give to yourself or others. It’s important to be cognitive of this and learn how to say no to distractions when you realize that you are using them to avoid bigger matters at hand or that they themselves are creating more serious complications such as exhaustion. Allow yourself a rest day or weekend.
And finally, realize that if you are among the millions of souls out there feeling like you don’t fit in. You are lost in who you are. Anxiety, fear, anger, depression has you by the balls that its a life long practice to keep yourself healthy and strong. Much like healthy eating and exercise or making sure that someone you love knows that you love them, you cannot do it just once.
Imagine if you told someone that you loved them just one time in the life of the relationship…
How would that pan out?
Exactly.
You have to keep showing up. You have to keep practicing the seemingly hard steps of loving yourself and learning yourself.
Your whole life, my love.
I assure you though, you can make it through.
You can overcome the darkest storms and find shelter not in the numbing but in the love of you.
If this musing was helpful to you, share it with someone who needs some words of encouragement. If you would like more information on how to implement these self-love and acceptance steps and how these steps can lead you to your F-ck Yes! Life and yoru soulmate relationship then reach out to me today. My true passion is bring individuals such as yourself into alignment with their dreams.
You are worthy.
Claim Your Life Today.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Image of me during my fire engine red of lostness at age 17.

HE IS NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE & COMMIT IF….

👩‍❤️‍👨HE IS NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE & COMMIT IF…
 
Put simply he is not ready to commit or able to fall in love till he pulls his head out of his a*s!
I have said for years to men and women alike that there is an unresounding pop that occurs for a man between the ages of 35 and 50 typically…
And that is when his head pops.
 
There is more to falling in love and committing than this though.
And what causes a man to have this “pop” anyway you may wonder?
 
Well to understand love and commitment we have to understand emotional maturity first
I recall sitting by the fireside while camping with my man last fall and we had a discussion about just this topic of emotional maturity as well as “box checks” a.k.a. common grounds between us or that are needed to have a united and strong partnership, which requires guess what?
 
Yep, emotional maturity!
 
EMOTIONAL MATURITY MEANS THAT YOU ARE NOT STUCK IN VICTIM OR RIGHTEOUS CONSCIOUSNESS.
 
And this simply is not the case for most men and women alike.
We are too caught up in our wounds and have not taken the time, nor do we have the desire to truly do the soul searching work to develop a strong core. We don’t do the damn work that is needed for self. The healing power of doing your own personal, spiritual, emotional, mental health work is beyond words, and it is required if you want to have a healthy partnership with someone and truly know that what you have is love and commitment.
 
But we are clueless about what love and commitment really are.
We believe that what men need (and women for that matter) to fall in love and commit is respect, appreciation, acceptance, connection and LOTS OF SEX.
Well especially men, right?
 
We as humans need all of these things.
They do not guarantee love, commitment and certainly not rock solid partnership.
In today’s world we get caught up on partnership meaning: connection and sex.
A commitment to be with someone exclusively.
Most of the time that means monogamous, however not always. There are a vast array of relationship labels today that are accepted, but the focus is exclusive “primary” partner, no matter the label. Monogamy and exclusivity DOES NOT equate to a committed partnership.
Ester Perel calls this epidemic of relationship, stable ambiguity. There is the appearance of stability and commitment in the relationship however the ambiguous part is,
“Where is the relationship going?”
 
And you cannot know where the relationship is going if you as a man cannot identify what commitment looks like. Until a man knows what his path to commitment looks like and what his end goal is in the vetting process of dating and relationship to get to partnership, he will remain frustrated in his efforts to find “the one,” and will break a few hearts along the way, leading women on that believed that they were “this one.”
 
Back to pulling your head out of your a*s and developing emotional maturity gents.
So typically a man needs a humbling life experience to have his head pop. This can be a marriage or significant relationship break up that causes financial strife, emotional pain. It can mean a health issue or the loss of a career, a home, or some other significant major obstacle that impacts him at a deeper level of soul where he starts to question life and ask for more from himself.
 
In a man’s early years and typically a first marriage scenario, men are looking for a wife AND mother to their children. They are looking for characteristics that are different from a man in middle life. By the time we are in our late thirties to early fifties, over 50% of the dating population is looking for partnership based on lifelong alignment. Wanting to know that someone wants to truly commit to having their back and love them no matter what happens. That they could be laying in bed dying from cancer and this other soul will be there every step of the way in love and wanting, not just willing to support them through it. Love them through it. They want more than just someone that is appealing to the eye. They want to trust them fully. And they are not willing to give up their hearts to anyone who is not proving to be worthy of their trust.
However they have to get out of victim and/or righteous consciousness to achieve these goals.
Simply put, male or female, if you are dating and someone in the first three dates goes into a b*tch sesh on their ex and how it was all their fault and the shiz that they did and how they were not at fault. They had no part in it. THAT IS A SERIOUS RED FLAG, that they are not emotionally mature. So they will not be able to have constructive arguments or see a viewpoint outside of their own. Until we can learn to own our part in every aspect of our life experiences, good and bad alike, we are not practicing emotional maturity and we do not know ourselves.
If a person is exhibiting entitlement, it means that they are caught up in the tunnel of ME,ME, ME land and they are going to be superficial and self-centered in their actions and needs. Creating an inability to truly connect, because you cannot trust a person stuck in such myopic attitudes.
 
Which is what a man needs to fall in love and commit….
A space to do so.
Men need to actually desire a partner not just a lover.
We humans tend to reach out for physical connection when we are not yet ready to receive love because we are in such pain and don’t believe that we are worthy of it, but crave it.
Creating a disharmony in ourselves and preventing a synergy for true partnership. There is no way a man can truly fall in love and commit if he is consistently in a space of pain and using some sort of self medication to overcome and mask it. This causes a man to become self-centered and selfish, not from a disingenuous place but from a tunnel vision place where he is unable to see past himself.
In midlife we are starving for connection and sex, however we are fearful of going deeper into relationship because we don’t know what partnership looks like in midlife. We don’t know how to harmonize and balance money, roles, responsibilities, ex-relationships, children, lifestyles, etc. We don’t know what it really means to be a partner in our midlife.
 
Men are driven by a desire to connect emotionally and physically with the feminine. Typically a man cannot kick back with his buds and discuss how he feels about things. He cannot get into his heart with other men and he desires the viewpoint of the feminine heart on such edgy matters as “feelings.” He also desires the female body and all your femininity.
This desire for connection and sex does not mean that a man is wanting partnership, however.
It means that he may be looking for a relationship, which is different from partnership as explained earlier with Perels labeling of this being stable ambiguity.
 
For a man to create the space to fall in love and commit, he must contemplate what he is really wanting outside of connection and sex.
 
Sadly, the majority of men and women alike NEVER give this much thought.
Which is what we see showing up in relationships by all the surface level relating and doing the bare minimum to maintain the relationship, which is also a major culprit to why so many marriages fail.
 
And so we come back to understanding what TRUE PARTNERSHIP is.
Until a man can identify and understand what true partnership is, outside of dating and relationship he will not be able to fall in love and commit.
 
He MUST KNOW what he wants outside of connection and sex.
And he must understand his path to achieve it.
 
It is a s simple and complex as that.
Until he reaches that space inside of himself where he want to trust a woman with his heart and desires to have her there to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…
 
He will not be able to pledge his faith, his heart, his commitment and he will not claim her as his love.
 
And she will feel it.
She will question his love and commitment to her.
 
True partnership commitment will always come down to WANTING to have someone’s back no matter what, and to want them to do the same for you.
 
Until a person truly reaches this space of wanting the US in commitment they will continue to be bouncing through relationships of stable ambiguity.
So ask yourself today, “Why do I do relationships?”
“How do I get to a place of true commitment and knowing that this is the person that I want to commit to?”
“What questions do I need to ask early on or things do I need to share to support this path?”
 
And if you want help on this path of discovering your soulmate, want to learn the right inquiry and how to go about clearing the space to call in a committed love and life partnership, reach out to me today. This is what I have helped countless singles do over the last almost two decades.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s Time To Give Yourself THIS.

Give yourself permission….
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the life that you desire now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the love that you want for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the health and body that you crave for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to receive all the blessings and abundance that God has in store for you now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to speak from your soul and listen with your heart now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to be you without shame or guilt.
It is time that you give yourself permission to feel and know your worthiness.
It is time that you give yourself permission to smile and laugh.
It is time that you give yourself permission to focus on what you want.
It is time that you give yourself permission to walk in faith.
It is time that you give yourself permission to relax into your natural flow.
It is time that you give yourself permission to communicate your truth.
It is time that you give yourself permission to live according to your path.
It is time that you give yourself permission to trust yourself.
It is time that you give yourself permission to forgive yourself and others.
It is time that you give yourself permission to let go of your past.
It is time that you give yourself credit for all that you do.
It is time that you allow yourself to love yourself.
It is time that you give yourself compassion.
It is time that you give yourself grace.
It is time that you give yourself permission.

Because NO ONE else will ever do so.

We live in a world that we feel compelled to always listen to what others think.
To take into account their feelings and beliefs.
To give more credit to others views of the world and of our lives then what our own hearts know of us.
We live in this world where it is said that others are more important than self,
and that, that is what defines a good person or not.
This world that we have created will never serve our highest good in this format however.
It will never help us reap the dynamic loving relationships that we all crave for.
It will never support true happiness,
nor will it support our life callings and purpose.
Because if we are to live the life that we were born to live,
if we are to speak in integrity and from a place of strength and deep compassion and love,
then we must first be able to offer this to ourselves.

Just yesterday I did a call with a beautiful man,
I could feel his deep heart and depth of desire to become truly himself. To know who he is and to offer it to this world.
But what he was lacking from being able to do this,
although seemingly so simple,
is one of the most challenging things to obtain.
And that is self-love and acceptance.
The knowing of one’s worthiness.
Not just worthiness for material items or the amount they get paid each year,
but true worthiness.
The worthiness of love, of living a shameless life.
The worthiness of forgiveness and compassion.
The worthiness to have grace.

And all of this must first be birthed from within.
It is a challenge for each of us,
in many different ways.
But today I offer you the thought to ponder here my dear reader,
I offer you the thought of,
” Am I living according to my worthiness or according to what this world thinks of me?”

The latter will never serve you and it most certainly will not serve your alignment to God.
It will never bring you closer to your truth.
It will never paint you an accurate picture of who you are or what you can do.
It will never support your creative genius,
or your intuitive path.
It will never prove to you your worthiness,
or make you a believer that you are lovable.
You will never gain confidence or accurate guidance from the latter.

The only path that you can choose if you desire to have the permission to live the life that your soul keeps calling out for you to have is the path of self-love.

To offer to self what you offer your closest friend or lover.
To offer to self the shoulder,
the emotional support and understanding.

The only thing that any of us can do to have the life that we want for,
that we know is ours to have,
or that we find ourselves searching for,
craving.

Is to allow ourselves the permission to say YES.
Yes to what we know is true.
Yes to what feels right and to learn what is not.
Yes to make mistakes.
Yes to explore and try new things.
Yes to speaking our hearts.
Yes to being scared or getting stuck.
Yes to wanting for more.
Yes to being human,
with all of its imperfections.

This is the only path that any of us can find ourselves and have a successful life that brings us vitality and love to the utmost degree.

This is the path that God desires for us each.
And it is on this path that we find our alignment.

But to walk this path,
you must first say YES to taking the step.

Are you ready?

Your time is now.
Never tomorrow.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deets on my “Step Up Now – 4 week mastermind” to level up your life during quarantine and come out of this space refreshed, charged and guided.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.

Why Women Don’t Trust Men.

Tears that cannot be seen are still tears felt.
 
Often I meet people in some of the most difficult spaces of their lives.
They come to me in thier wounding,
in their fear,
in their bitterness and revenge.
Trauma masks them from their truth.
They are lost.
And with thier lostness they have comfort.
 
It is this way for anyone who has experienced pain.
And the pain much of the time is rooted in our thoughts of ego,
which continues to trap us in a nasty loop of past fears, thoughts, feelings and expereinces.
Due to this loop we feel comfort, but we never feel fulfilled or happy as well.
 
Abandonment is one of the the major culprits to this pain.
To these tears that are unseen.
 
Abandonment happens when we least expect it too, does it not?
 
Last night I was having a discussion with a close friend about this very topic. We sat over a bottle of guava rum and had some deep dives into vulnerable shares around relationships and how we could each see a pattern in our past relationships with men. The men that touched us in such a power way, the one’s who openned our hearts, expanded our thinking and taught us incredible lessons about our lives and who we are as women.
 
I sat there and shared about the four past relationships that I find most significant and that I can say that three of them I was deeply and still am today even (if I am real with you and I in this moment) in love with. These men awakened the woman that I am today. And I am ever grateful for them blessing my life as they had.
 
All four of these relationships, professed their undying love for me.
They all asked me to marry.
They all went deep into my heart and soul and penetrated me like no other. Each built on the one before,
taking me into new relams of love.
Oh the stories I could share, and have in other musings.
These four men,
they changed my world forever and taught me to love.
 
They also crushed me in ways that I am sure none of them ever intended of.
Their words of, ” I will fight for you.” – ” I love you unconditionally and want nothing more than your happiness.” – “I can see forever with you.” – “I would NEVER do anything to hurt you.” – You are my world.”
 
Yes, these words as if from a storybook romance,
so lovely, so enticing.
So real for the moment they were spoken,
were the words that also crushed me after a period of time.
 
These words became poison and what they all loved – me,
they tried to kill in their own way by severing through retraction, removal, disposal and even physically action down the road of our relationship.
 
Now, here is the thing I want you to get from this musing:
Was there pain? yes.
Is there still pain? In moments, yes.
But I am more in gratitude than pain at this point, some of these relationship I speak of were from 20 years past even.
Some just a few years back.
It is the lessons, the patterns that I see and want to share with you today.
 
All four men chose to say good bye.
All four shared this pattern in that good bye,
the pattern of not speaking their integrity.
 
They chose to hide from me,
from thier hearts truth.
They chose to lie to my face day in and day out,
even when I inquired directly about what I was feeling from them.
They chose to run and hide instead of face me and say goodbye with clarity and heart.
They chose to abandon.
And this lack of integrity,
caused unfinished business between us,
and shame for them.
They supported my programs of:
 
” I am not good enough.”
“I am unlovable.”
” I am disposable like trash.”
“I am not worthy of true love or even truth.”
“I am not worthy to have someone fight for me.”
“I cannot trust men.”
“I am not safe.”
 
What I see often in my couples work with clients are all these programed statements and beliefs in women and the men not underestanding why she feels this way or what he has done to cause it.
 
I tell you sweet men of the world,
it is your lack of integrity.
 
When you do not stand in your truth to your core,
when you waiver,
when you hide like a little boy behind your mother’s skirts,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you tell us that all is well, when it is not,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you take without care,
demand that she gives you her sex, her heart, her smile even though she is not a yes,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you do not stand in her fire but instead try to coddle and fix,
father, shame, guilt, or teach,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you shut down your heart to hide from us,
when you close off and retract your love through ignoring,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
When you promise what you have no right to promise,
making firm statments of forever,
preaching your unconditional, undying devotion without the understanding of what you are actually saying,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
And most of all…
when that moment comes,
if it does,
when you know that she is not the one,
you choose to say goodbye as a coward,
without an eye to eye meeting of the hearts,
when you ghost,
go distant and even turn it into her fault because you are not man enough to stand in your truth,
 
Yes my sweet men of the world….
HERE, here you create these fears of the feminine.
 
The advice I have for you,
is simple.
 
Realize that abandonment does not happen at the moment that you choose to walk away,
your abandonment happened long before,
it was in the very first stages of your lack of integrity.
When you chose to not speak it and be it,
you abndoned not just her,
you banadoned yourself as well.
And this is why she cannot trust.
This is why she cannot surrender.
This is why you will find yourself repeating the same issues with a different women in your life.
 
If you want to have your woman fully,
learn to stand true in who you are.
Even if you do not have an answer for her in a moment,
or unable to fix what has gone astray,
if you feel lost in your emotions,
speak just that sweet man.
 
“My integrity in this moment, is that I don’t know.”
 
Whatever your truth may be,
she will respect and love you for it,
if she knows that she can trust you.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on learning how to create an authentic relationship based in love, integrity and desire.
*Photoe credit to www.photographyinwonderland.com

I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

So You Think You Know Me….

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME….
 
I mean we have been dating for sometime now after all.
And you are such a sweet person.
I love how you make me feel.
I love the looks you give at different times.
I love listening to your stories.
I just love the way that you are.
You make me smile.
You make my heart race and jump for joy when I see you.
I just love you for just how you are.
 
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…….
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
 
I saw you sitting there,
looking oh so nice.
This conversation we are having has me feeling really good.
I have this desire rising up to kiss you.
I know that I want more.
You seem really great.
Good looking,
clean,
intelligent.
My gut tells me that I can trust you.
I mean you say that you don’t ever do this sort of thing.
You say that you are safe and clean.
You say that you have not been with anyone for so long.
I feel that I can trust you.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
So we have been chatting for some time,
I have been sharing pieces of myself with you and you with I.
I feel so close to you.
I feel like I know your SOUL.
It’s beautiful and yummy to feel this side of you.
I have seen you go through some things.
I have seen tears wash down your cheeks.
And heard your laughter rise from your chest.
Everything you do,
makes me yearn to know you more.
But I feel like I really know you NOW.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…..
 
We have been together for all these years,
raised a family,
moved a few states,
been through ups and downs.
I have felt you at your best and worst.
I know what pains you and what brings you joy.
I see you daily and rest my head next yours.
We have our goals.
We have our commitment.
And we communicate,
or so I feel.
And so I KNOW YOU like no one else could.
 
Mmmmmmm…….
Hmmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
LOL…
Such a laughable idea is all of this.
I tell you that YOU HAVE NOT THE KNOWING you believe.
Not in any such way of any of these relationships.
 
For no matter what I share,
or who you witness me to be.
No matter the time spent together or not,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You know the version of me that you want to know.
You know the image of me that feels safe to you.
But you do not KNOW ME.
 
You see that thing you feel is knowing,
that thing is actually your ideas about me.
That version of me that you see,
it is part me of yesterday,
part me of today,
and part me that you wish me to be.
It is NOT ME.
 
And if you think that you know me,
after such a short time,
if you think that you get me when you have no idea whats inside,
if you think that you understand me,
that you want to be with me or enjoy me,
then know that whatever you perceive of me is not mine.
Because honey,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You cannot know if someone is true,
if they are trustworthy,
if they are who they say they are,
or you desire them to be,
from just one meeting.
 
The same is true my dear after three or ten dates.
No matter how much sexing, kissing and holding,
if you have not seen me at my worst,
been in the trenches of my pain.
rolled in the grasses of life in my joy,
or caught in my rain.
If you have not fought till 3 am,
or held me in fear of loosing me,
then you cannot know me.
 
If you believe that knowing me is what you perceive,
if you believe that our relationship is deeper than you can imagine,
but you have no clue what my greatest fear is or my grandest joy,
then you cannot know me.
You may FEEL LIKE YOU DO,
but honey it’s not true.
 
This relationship is sweet,
it is short of depth or truth,
if you choose to believe me,
those pictures I paint,
those tales that I tell,
then honey you are silly,
you are hungry for my love,
my attention and your perception,
but YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
 
This poem is for all those out there that believe that they can trust someone after a first date, or commit to a life with someone after 2, 3 or 6 months.
This poem is for all those who feel like they want to rush into relationship,
rush into commitment,
rush into bare sex,
rush into love.
 
I promise you this, that feeling that you are having is nothing more than a honeymoon feeling, new relationship energy.
And it will fade and your perceptions will change,
your hungers as well.
For in 6, 12, 18 months you will see something more.
And when year three comes to pass, you will START to meet your mate.
The truth will come about and you may discover the stranger that resides by you at night.
 
Hire Slow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
To learn more valuable relationship success concepts and truths and how to call in that SOULMATE, reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching today.
 
 
 
 
 

How Does Your Garden Grow Baby?

I like to move it…
move it…
 
I like to move it, move it…
 
I really do.
I like to move it,
until I don’t like to move it no more.
I push,
I run,
I jump,
I leap forward without thinking often.
My SOUL just get’s a hold of me and blurts stuff out and I am like,
“Well, I guess that is what we are doing now.”
 
And then once cast out there into the sea of the universe for all to hear and see,
and for God to deliver back to me,
I sometimes loose my luster and joy for it.
I sometimes go,
“Well, F-ck! I am just not feeling it now.”
 
And so I start to procrastinate.
I start to change my focus to something else.
I feel that the splash of passion that I had in that moment of alignment,
is gone.
 
And I feel constriction.
I might even feel a low grade sadness.
You could say depression even.
And I count myself lazy AF.
And then the fear kicks in even more so,
it kicks in because now what was just a mood of not feelin’ it in that moment has turned into me becoming certain that I am not good enough,
that I am to lazy to make it happen,
don’t really know what I am doing,
that what I am doing is a bad idea and that no one even want’s it.
 
And once taken hold,
this thought,
this fear it steals the fire right out of who I am at my core,
it steals the passion from feeling good,
from making it happen.
And in turn it applies all that passion,
all that focus onto what I fear the most.
 
The not happening of it.
The lack of moving it.
The lack of not getting,
and I step fully into scarcity.
Here then is where my passion is focused.
Here is where I am applying myself,
and here is what happens…
 
I GET EXACTLY WHAT I AM FOCUSED ON.
 
I get exactly what I am applying myself too.
 
I get exactly what I am putting my passion toward.
 
I am a MOFO Amazing manifestor!
 
Can you relate beautiful?
 
I bet you can.
We all do this.
The question comes as to what extent we manifest our fears vs. our dreams.
 
Those of us who get it,
like you and I, we know our power.
We know our strength,
and we BELIEVE.
 
That’s what makes us unique.
We are not blind.
With this sight of knowing though,
it’s all the more important for us to pay attention,
to do our inner work,
to listen the eff to our SOUL,
and to get into alignment with it.
 
It’s important because we have this thing,
this thing called our message.
It’s what we cannot, not do in this life if we are to feel complete.
 
It is our ART.
 
You have it beautiful.
You feel it at your SOUL.
And you know.
I know you know that you MUST,
you must do this THING.
And the only thing holding you back beautiful,
is this focus gig you got goin’ on.
It’s time that you accept your power beautiful.
It’s time that you realize once and for all that you are pulling yourself under the currents of restriction,
you are the ONLY ONE not allowing yourself to have all that you want.
And you are doing it by applying yourself to that, that you fear.
By having more passion toward what you do not want,
then what you desire with your heart and soul.
 
You are a powerful manifestor BABY.
 
And because of your power,
you create so quickly.
You know you do.
The evidence is all around you.
And your focus is intense.
 
Yes beautiful,
you know who you are.
It’s time for you to EMBRACE YOUR POWER.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
JOIN ME for 5 – weeks of Embracing Your Power NOW!
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to say that you live life the way you want to.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to look into someone’s eye’s and just drop down into your body and show up however you may feel, without any fear of being accepted or not.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to embrace your gift’s and talents and experience God/Universe supporting you in your commitment to soul alignment.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to wake up and to feel proud of yourself for the decisions that you have made and for the results that life is giving you because of them.
THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you say the same of your’s?
Do you live like this?
How would you describe your life?
Are you a .01%er person who COMMANDS in your life experience and blessing or do you just settle in and let life wash over you however it feels?
Do you look for opportunities to grow, expand and heal or do you surrender yourself to blame, guild, shame and regret?
What is your norm?
 
Your Manifesting Power NOW!

You Are Working With A Fake….

You are working with a fake!
Say what?
You heard me right…
 
You are working with a fake.
I know they told you all that hype.
I know you love them for just being who you think they are.
I know you have lofty dreams and goals,
you want it bad baby.
It’s so obvious.
 
But that desperation of desire that you are sharing with this world,
it has you vulnerable to deception.
It has you vulnerable and weak to making BIG time mistakes.
You may want what you want,
and you may want it to happen for you NOW.
I mean I get it.
 
You have been working for this THING for so damn long,
you are getting tired of it not manifesting.
You cannot figure out what most likely the oh so little tweak is that you need to make that pendulum swing over there into the promised land,
and so here they came,
the wolves in lion’s clothing.
They marched on in here,
confident and beautiful,
telling you EVERYTHING that you wanted to hear.
Telling you how if you do this,
and this,
and this,
things will be different.
And magically you will be making the money that you want,
living the life that you want,
having the relationships that you want,
living that freedom based life that you want.
 
And what did they focus you on?
Was it the money?
Was it the freedom that the money gives?
Was it the ease?
Did they tell you about the the BIG $30,000 dollar deal they just closed? And how they do that all the time…
Did they tell you that you can keep not showing up for your non-tribe and do the same?
Did they tell you to just increase your price point,
to focus on the numbers.
To focus on adds?
Funnels?
To go get another training in some field that you will never use in your practice?
 
You are working with a fake.
And that beautiful,
that should piss you off.
 
Because the more you buy into that illusion,
the more you allow yourself to be infected with the lies,
the more you will become like that.
And that WILL NEVER get you the life that you want.
 
People do things for just a few reasons:
Happiness
Freedom
Family
Money
Power
 
The umbrella item is happiness.
This is all of our WHY.
 
The interesting thing though is that we often will sacrifice our happiness because of comfort.
We will lean into comfort because happiness will challenge us to step out of what we have been doing and to do something that forces expansion, a.k.a CHANGE.
 
And the fake ass that has come along and sold you a pipe dream that you gotta change not much at all,
that you don’t gotta show the eff up,
that you don’t have to build a TRIBE,
not just numbers,
but an aligned TRIBE,
that wants to feel you,
know you and have you know them too,
is an effing fake who is ONLY in the hustle for the money.
 
Going after the financial reward will only serve you short term.
It will only build your business so big.
And if you are a person who wants to feel good,
feel in alignment to your SOUL,
and be a positive ripple in this world,
then you need to WAKE UP to the fake that is selling you that illusion over there.
 
Can they show you the numbers?
Do they have an aligned TRIBE?
Do they have the testimonies?
Do they message from SOUL?
How often do they show the eff up for their tribe?
Do they share authentically about life, themselves?
Can you feel them?
 
Or do they only flap their gums and type up words that are empty as F-ck?
 
Because baby,
anyone can play a good game.
Anyone can toss around numbers.
Anyone can speak about their up-lines successes like it’s their own.
But, if you are going to listen and do what they say,
in hopes that they have found the true path to making the SHIZ happen,
then perhaps you should verify that they are makin’ their own shiz happen first.
 
Because I gotta say,
there is nothing worse then spending time, energy and money on a fake.
 
It’s a trauma that can be avoided with a few questions,
with a little research and by opening your damn eye’s up.
 
I share these words with you,
because in my working with entrepreneurs and souls who desire to live a life of freedom over the last two decades,
that I have seen many a soul fall prey to false prophets.
And often they are lead astray because they themselves fear commitment, change and growth.
 
Those of us who know that we were born for something more,
that we are not the 99%,
but the 1%ers,
we know that we must CHANGE.
We know that this road less traveled will require us to face our shadow’s,
to expand our thinking and views,
to fully feel life.
We know that we can step in faith,
with ease,
and that giving ourselves grace is important.
We know that we have a purpose.
That this THING,
this THING that we cannot, not do –
is what breathes life into our soul.
 
And we know the power of showing the f-ck up.
We understand the value of calling in our aligned tribe, not just numbers,
we desire to be seen,
to be felt.
 
And we value AUTHENTICITY.
 
Not here to play games.
Not here to tell you lies.
Not here to paint false pictures that I heard from someones else’s lips or thought would convince.
 
Nope,
none of that crap here.
 
Just good old,
real world,
human to human,
sharing, educating, and experiencing,
with a desire to be a positive ripple in this world and faith that God will support that and the money….
 
The money,
that we all want and need to make sure that we can keep doing what we are doing and helping those we are helping,
yeah that money…
 
Well that money is the manifesting evidence as well as the lifestyle,
the vitality,
the health,
the well being,
the effing light in our eye’s,
that the universe is supporting of our efforts.
 
And that support,
it will easily be SEEN.
There will be no doubt beautiful.
 
Because those of us who do not desire to be fake,
those of us who just ARE,
you can feel our energy before we walk into the room,
you can see our glow a thousand miles away,
you can feel the connection in the words we write,
the words we speak,
our messages are unapologetic, clear of falsities and fear.
We stand in confidence,
we are stable in our energy,
because we KNOW.
 
And beautiful,
This is WHO YOU ARE.
 
You are worthy.
You are deserving.
You have a message to be shared.
 
But first,
you must wash that muck of falsity out of your energy,
clear it from your community,
and step into the desire of OWNING WHO YOU ARE.
 
Operate from Authenticity beautiful,
NOT FEAR.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.
 
 
 

GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

It’s time beautiful to stop accepting so little for what you want.
It’s time to stop being available for all this shiz that is not serving you.
It’s time for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE and scale your life up to match that version of you.

But here is the thing gorgeous,
in order for you to do this,
to have that, that you so desire and feel that you cannot not do/have….

You MUST give yourself the damn permission.
You must give yourself the permission to receive the success,
receive the love,
receive the healing,
receive the lifestyle,
the joy.

Until you stop settling for suffering and lack,
until you commit to having what you want and you KNOW that you are worthy of,
you will never achieve it.
You will not call in what you want until YOU,
no one else make it so.

And you do this by giving yourself permission to be the damn person that you know that you are.

You do this by not accepting your reasons and excuses anymore and calling out your own bullsh*t.

You do this by applying not harder or more work,
but by applying your SOUL – led callings and heart to your life.

You do this by no longer closing your eye’s and hoping that ignoring it, that it will magically go away, all the while you sit around and fantasize about the horror that will happen.

STOP THAT SHIZ!

When you have decided that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living up to the person that you know that you are,

when you have had enough of the not having the life that you want,

when you are FINALLY exhausted enough,
and gotten to the point of done,
and realized that NO ONE else on this planet is going to ever
come in and say,

“Hey you… yeah you with the big dreams and goals. You who deserves to have it all… you who has been working your ass off for so long and struggled so much… yeah you…. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION to have it now.”

Yeah that is not going to happen beautiful.
People may support you in different ways.
Your tribe will pat you on the back and love on you.
Your mentors will love you with some deep inquiry work and a smile of knowing.

But NO ONE ELSE will ever be able to give you permission to step the f-ck up to who you are meant to be and JUST BE IT!

That is all you BABY!

There is nothing that anyone else can do to get you to shift,
to scale up your life, your business,
to get you to heal quicker, love more open, trust again…

NADA…
NOTHING…
NO ONE!

The only person who can give you the damn thing that you need RIGHT NOW…

Which happens to be permission to be unstoppable.
Permission to have it all.
Permission to BE YOU – unapologetically.

IS YOU!

So what is stopping you?

When will you have had enough of your own bullshit?
When will you finally be tired of accepting so little for your life and your joy?
When will your suffering no longer serve you?

Because as long as you accept your suffering as something that is giving you the attention that you need,
as long as you keep leaning in on your reasons, worries, doubts and excuses,

the one thing you will be guaranteed is that you WILL NOT have what you want in work, love or life.

But you have to get to enough being enough.

You have to want for your own joy more than your suffering.
You have to embrace the reality that there is another way to connect other than through drama and pain body.
You have to want to release the bondage that you have put yourself in.

And when you reach this pivotal point on your path to CLAIMING YOUR LIFE…

You will give yourself the damn permission.

And then baby,
it’s LIGHTS OUT to all that holds you back.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to say yes to your life,
to claim the lifestyle that you want.
Ready to love yourself.
To have the money, time, love, freedom that your soul craves for?

Let’s chat!