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It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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It’s Time To Give Yourself THIS.

Give yourself permission….
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the life that you desire now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the love that you want for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to have the health and body that you crave for now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to receive all the blessings and abundance that God has in store for you now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to speak from your soul and listen with your heart now.
It is time that you give yourself permission to be you without shame or guilt.
It is time that you give yourself permission to feel and know your worthiness.
It is time that you give yourself permission to smile and laugh.
It is time that you give yourself permission to focus on what you want.
It is time that you give yourself permission to walk in faith.
It is time that you give yourself permission to relax into your natural flow.
It is time that you give yourself permission to communicate your truth.
It is time that you give yourself permission to live according to your path.
It is time that you give yourself permission to trust yourself.
It is time that you give yourself permission to forgive yourself and others.
It is time that you give yourself permission to let go of your past.
It is time that you give yourself credit for all that you do.
It is time that you allow yourself to love yourself.
It is time that you give yourself compassion.
It is time that you give yourself grace.
It is time that you give yourself permission.

Because NO ONE else will ever do so.

We live in a world that we feel compelled to always listen to what others think.
To take into account their feelings and beliefs.
To give more credit to others views of the world and of our lives then what our own hearts know of us.
We live in this world where it is said that others are more important than self,
and that, that is what defines a good person or not.
This world that we have created will never serve our highest good in this format however.
It will never help us reap the dynamic loving relationships that we all crave for.
It will never support true happiness,
nor will it support our life callings and purpose.
Because if we are to live the life that we were born to live,
if we are to speak in integrity and from a place of strength and deep compassion and love,
then we must first be able to offer this to ourselves.

Just yesterday I did a call with a beautiful man,
I could feel his deep heart and depth of desire to become truly himself. To know who he is and to offer it to this world.
But what he was lacking from being able to do this,
although seemingly so simple,
is one of the most challenging things to obtain.
And that is self-love and acceptance.
The knowing of one’s worthiness.
Not just worthiness for material items or the amount they get paid each year,
but true worthiness.
The worthiness of love, of living a shameless life.
The worthiness of forgiveness and compassion.
The worthiness to have grace.

And all of this must first be birthed from within.
It is a challenge for each of us,
in many different ways.
But today I offer you the thought to ponder here my dear reader,
I offer you the thought of,
” Am I living according to my worthiness or according to what this world thinks of me?”

The latter will never serve you and it most certainly will not serve your alignment to God.
It will never bring you closer to your truth.
It will never paint you an accurate picture of who you are or what you can do.
It will never support your creative genius,
or your intuitive path.
It will never prove to you your worthiness,
or make you a believer that you are lovable.
You will never gain confidence or accurate guidance from the latter.

The only path that you can choose if you desire to have the permission to live the life that your soul keeps calling out for you to have is the path of self-love.

To offer to self what you offer your closest friend or lover.
To offer to self the shoulder,
the emotional support and understanding.

The only thing that any of us can do to have the life that we want for,
that we know is ours to have,
or that we find ourselves searching for,
craving.

Is to allow ourselves the permission to say YES.
Yes to what we know is true.
Yes to what feels right and to learn what is not.
Yes to make mistakes.
Yes to explore and try new things.
Yes to speaking our hearts.
Yes to being scared or getting stuck.
Yes to wanting for more.
Yes to being human,
with all of its imperfections.

This is the only path that any of us can find ourselves and have a successful life that brings us vitality and love to the utmost degree.

This is the path that God desires for us each.
And it is on this path that we find our alignment.

But to walk this path,
you must first say YES to taking the step.

Are you ready?

Your time is now.
Never tomorrow.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deets on my “Step Up Now – 4 week mastermind” to level up your life during quarantine and come out of this space refreshed, charged and guided.

Photo credit to Photographyinwonderland.

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Why Women Don’t Trust Men.

Tears that cannot be seen are still tears felt.
 
Often I meet people in some of the most difficult spaces of their lives.
They come to me in thier wounding,
in their fear,
in their bitterness and revenge.
Trauma masks them from their truth.
They are lost.
And with thier lostness they have comfort.
 
It is this way for anyone who has experienced pain.
And the pain much of the time is rooted in our thoughts of ego,
which continues to trap us in a nasty loop of past fears, thoughts, feelings and expereinces.
Due to this loop we feel comfort, but we never feel fulfilled or happy as well.
 
Abandonment is one of the the major culprits to this pain.
To these tears that are unseen.
 
Abandonment happens when we least expect it too, does it not?
 
Last night I was having a discussion with a close friend about this very topic. We sat over a bottle of guava rum and had some deep dives into vulnerable shares around relationships and how we could each see a pattern in our past relationships with men. The men that touched us in such a power way, the one’s who openned our hearts, expanded our thinking and taught us incredible lessons about our lives and who we are as women.
 
I sat there and shared about the four past relationships that I find most significant and that I can say that three of them I was deeply and still am today even (if I am real with you and I in this moment) in love with. These men awakened the woman that I am today. And I am ever grateful for them blessing my life as they had.
 
All four of these relationships, professed their undying love for me.
They all asked me to marry.
They all went deep into my heart and soul and penetrated me like no other. Each built on the one before,
taking me into new relams of love.
Oh the stories I could share, and have in other musings.
These four men,
they changed my world forever and taught me to love.
 
They also crushed me in ways that I am sure none of them ever intended of.
Their words of, ” I will fight for you.” – ” I love you unconditionally and want nothing more than your happiness.” – “I can see forever with you.” – “I would NEVER do anything to hurt you.” – You are my world.”
 
Yes, these words as if from a storybook romance,
so lovely, so enticing.
So real for the moment they were spoken,
were the words that also crushed me after a period of time.
 
These words became poison and what they all loved – me,
they tried to kill in their own way by severing through retraction, removal, disposal and even physically action down the road of our relationship.
 
Now, here is the thing I want you to get from this musing:
Was there pain? yes.
Is there still pain? In moments, yes.
But I am more in gratitude than pain at this point, some of these relationship I speak of were from 20 years past even.
Some just a few years back.
It is the lessons, the patterns that I see and want to share with you today.
 
All four men chose to say good bye.
All four shared this pattern in that good bye,
the pattern of not speaking their integrity.
 
They chose to hide from me,
from thier hearts truth.
They chose to lie to my face day in and day out,
even when I inquired directly about what I was feeling from them.
They chose to run and hide instead of face me and say goodbye with clarity and heart.
They chose to abandon.
And this lack of integrity,
caused unfinished business between us,
and shame for them.
They supported my programs of:
 
” I am not good enough.”
“I am unlovable.”
” I am disposable like trash.”
“I am not worthy of true love or even truth.”
“I am not worthy to have someone fight for me.”
“I cannot trust men.”
“I am not safe.”
 
What I see often in my couples work with clients are all these programed statements and beliefs in women and the men not underestanding why she feels this way or what he has done to cause it.
 
I tell you sweet men of the world,
it is your lack of integrity.
 
When you do not stand in your truth to your core,
when you waiver,
when you hide like a little boy behind your mother’s skirts,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you tell us that all is well, when it is not,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you take without care,
demand that she gives you her sex, her heart, her smile even though she is not a yes,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you do not stand in her fire but instead try to coddle and fix,
father, shame, guilt, or teach,
you support these fears of the feminine.
When you shut down your heart to hide from us,
when you close off and retract your love through ignoring,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
When you promise what you have no right to promise,
making firm statments of forever,
preaching your unconditional, undying devotion without the understanding of what you are actually saying,
you support these fears of the feminine.
 
And most of all…
when that moment comes,
if it does,
when you know that she is not the one,
you choose to say goodbye as a coward,
without an eye to eye meeting of the hearts,
when you ghost,
go distant and even turn it into her fault because you are not man enough to stand in your truth,
 
Yes my sweet men of the world….
HERE, here you create these fears of the feminine.
 
The advice I have for you,
is simple.
 
Realize that abandonment does not happen at the moment that you choose to walk away,
your abandonment happened long before,
it was in the very first stages of your lack of integrity.
When you chose to not speak it and be it,
you abndoned not just her,
you banadoned yourself as well.
And this is why she cannot trust.
This is why she cannot surrender.
This is why you will find yourself repeating the same issues with a different women in your life.
 
If you want to have your woman fully,
learn to stand true in who you are.
Even if you do not have an answer for her in a moment,
or unable to fix what has gone astray,
if you feel lost in your emotions,
speak just that sweet man.
 
“My integrity in this moment, is that I don’t know.”
 
Whatever your truth may be,
she will respect and love you for it,
if she knows that she can trust you.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on learning how to create an authentic relationship based in love, integrity and desire.
*Photoe credit to www.photographyinwonderland.com
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I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

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So You Think You Know Me….

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME….
 
I mean we have been dating for sometime now after all.
And you are such a sweet person.
I love how you make me feel.
I love the looks you give at different times.
I love listening to your stories.
I just love the way that you are.
You make me smile.
You make my heart race and jump for joy when I see you.
I just love you for just how you are.
 
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…….
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
 
I saw you sitting there,
looking oh so nice.
This conversation we are having has me feeling really good.
I have this desire rising up to kiss you.
I know that I want more.
You seem really great.
Good looking,
clean,
intelligent.
My gut tells me that I can trust you.
I mean you say that you don’t ever do this sort of thing.
You say that you are safe and clean.
You say that you have not been with anyone for so long.
I feel that I can trust you.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
So we have been chatting for some time,
I have been sharing pieces of myself with you and you with I.
I feel so close to you.
I feel like I know your SOUL.
It’s beautiful and yummy to feel this side of you.
I have seen you go through some things.
I have seen tears wash down your cheeks.
And heard your laughter rise from your chest.
Everything you do,
makes me yearn to know you more.
But I feel like I really know you NOW.
 
Mmmmmm……
Hmmmmm…..
 
We have been together for all these years,
raised a family,
moved a few states,
been through ups and downs.
I have felt you at your best and worst.
I know what pains you and what brings you joy.
I see you daily and rest my head next yours.
We have our goals.
We have our commitment.
And we communicate,
or so I feel.
And so I KNOW YOU like no one else could.
 
Mmmmmmm…….
Hmmmmmm……
 
And so because you feel all this you have now proclaimed that YOU KNOW ME?
 
LOL…
Such a laughable idea is all of this.
I tell you that YOU HAVE NOT THE KNOWING you believe.
Not in any such way of any of these relationships.
 
For no matter what I share,
or who you witness me to be.
No matter the time spent together or not,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You know the version of me that you want to know.
You know the image of me that feels safe to you.
But you do not KNOW ME.
 
You see that thing you feel is knowing,
that thing is actually your ideas about me.
That version of me that you see,
it is part me of yesterday,
part me of today,
and part me that you wish me to be.
It is NOT ME.
 
And if you think that you know me,
after such a short time,
if you think that you get me when you have no idea whats inside,
if you think that you understand me,
that you want to be with me or enjoy me,
then know that whatever you perceive of me is not mine.
Because honey,
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
You cannot know if someone is true,
if they are trustworthy,
if they are who they say they are,
or you desire them to be,
from just one meeting.
 
The same is true my dear after three or ten dates.
No matter how much sexing, kissing and holding,
if you have not seen me at my worst,
been in the trenches of my pain.
rolled in the grasses of life in my joy,
or caught in my rain.
If you have not fought till 3 am,
or held me in fear of loosing me,
then you cannot know me.
 
If you believe that knowing me is what you perceive,
if you believe that our relationship is deeper than you can imagine,
but you have no clue what my greatest fear is or my grandest joy,
then you cannot know me.
You may FEEL LIKE YOU DO,
but honey it’s not true.
 
This relationship is sweet,
it is short of depth or truth,
if you choose to believe me,
those pictures I paint,
those tales that I tell,
then honey you are silly,
you are hungry for my love,
my attention and your perception,
but YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
 
 
This poem is for all those out there that believe that they can trust someone after a first date, or commit to a life with someone after 2, 3 or 6 months.
This poem is for all those who feel like they want to rush into relationship,
rush into commitment,
rush into bare sex,
rush into love.
 
I promise you this, that feeling that you are having is nothing more than a honeymoon feeling, new relationship energy.
And it will fade and your perceptions will change,
your hungers as well.
For in 6, 12, 18 months you will see something more.
And when year three comes to pass, you will START to meet your mate.
The truth will come about and you may discover the stranger that resides by you at night.
 
Hire Slow.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
To learn more valuable relationship success concepts and truths and how to call in that SOULMATE, reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching today.
 
 
 
 
 
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How Does Your Garden Grow Baby?

I like to move it…
move it…
 
I like to move it, move it…
 
I really do.
I like to move it,
until I don’t like to move it no more.
I push,
I run,
I jump,
I leap forward without thinking often.
My SOUL just get’s a hold of me and blurts stuff out and I am like,
“Well, I guess that is what we are doing now.”
 
And then once cast out there into the sea of the universe for all to hear and see,
and for God to deliver back to me,
I sometimes loose my luster and joy for it.
I sometimes go,
“Well, F-ck! I am just not feeling it now.”
 
And so I start to procrastinate.
I start to change my focus to something else.
I feel that the splash of passion that I had in that moment of alignment,
is gone.
 
And I feel constriction.
I might even feel a low grade sadness.
You could say depression even.
And I count myself lazy AF.
And then the fear kicks in even more so,
it kicks in because now what was just a mood of not feelin’ it in that moment has turned into me becoming certain that I am not good enough,
that I am to lazy to make it happen,
don’t really know what I am doing,
that what I am doing is a bad idea and that no one even want’s it.
 
And once taken hold,
this thought,
this fear it steals the fire right out of who I am at my core,
it steals the passion from feeling good,
from making it happen.
And in turn it applies all that passion,
all that focus onto what I fear the most.
 
The not happening of it.
The lack of moving it.
The lack of not getting,
and I step fully into scarcity.
Here then is where my passion is focused.
Here is where I am applying myself,
and here is what happens…
 
I GET EXACTLY WHAT I AM FOCUSED ON.
 
I get exactly what I am applying myself too.
 
I get exactly what I am putting my passion toward.
 
I am a MOFO Amazing manifestor!
 
Can you relate beautiful?
 
I bet you can.
We all do this.
The question comes as to what extent we manifest our fears vs. our dreams.
 
Those of us who get it,
like you and I, we know our power.
We know our strength,
and we BELIEVE.
 
That’s what makes us unique.
We are not blind.
With this sight of knowing though,
it’s all the more important for us to pay attention,
to do our inner work,
to listen the eff to our SOUL,
and to get into alignment with it.
 
It’s important because we have this thing,
this thing called our message.
It’s what we cannot, not do in this life if we are to feel complete.
 
It is our ART.
 
You have it beautiful.
You feel it at your SOUL.
And you know.
I know you know that you MUST,
you must do this THING.
And the only thing holding you back beautiful,
is this focus gig you got goin’ on.
It’s time that you accept your power beautiful.
It’s time that you realize once and for all that you are pulling yourself under the currents of restriction,
you are the ONLY ONE not allowing yourself to have all that you want.
And you are doing it by applying yourself to that, that you fear.
By having more passion toward what you do not want,
then what you desire with your heart and soul.
 
You are a powerful manifestor BABY.
 
And because of your power,
you create so quickly.
You know you do.
The evidence is all around you.
And your focus is intense.
 
Yes beautiful,
you know who you are.
It’s time for you to EMBRACE YOUR POWER.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
JOIN ME for 5 – weeks of Embracing Your Power NOW!
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to say that you live life the way you want to.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to look into someone’s eye’s and just drop down into your body and show up however you may feel, without any fear of being accepted or not.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to embrace your gift’s and talents and experience God/Universe supporting you in your commitment to soul alignment.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to wake up and to feel proud of yourself for the decisions that you have made and for the results that life is giving you because of them.
THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you say the same of your’s?
Do you live like this?
How would you describe your life?
Are you a .01%er person who COMMANDS in your life experience and blessing or do you just settle in and let life wash over you however it feels?
Do you look for opportunities to grow, expand and heal or do you surrender yourself to blame, guild, shame and regret?
What is your norm?
 
Your Manifesting Power NOW!
Posted on

You Are Working With A Fake….

You are working with a fake!
Say what?
You heard me right…
 
You are working with a fake.
I know they told you all that hype.
I know you love them for just being who you think they are.
I know you have lofty dreams and goals,
you want it bad baby.
It’s so obvious.
 
But that desperation of desire that you are sharing with this world,
it has you vulnerable to deception.
It has you vulnerable and weak to making BIG time mistakes.
You may want what you want,
and you may want it to happen for you NOW.
I mean I get it.
 
You have been working for this THING for so damn long,
you are getting tired of it not manifesting.
You cannot figure out what most likely the oh so little tweak is that you need to make that pendulum swing over there into the promised land,
and so here they came,
the wolves in lion’s clothing.
They marched on in here,
confident and beautiful,
telling you EVERYTHING that you wanted to hear.
Telling you how if you do this,
and this,
and this,
things will be different.
And magically you will be making the money that you want,
living the life that you want,
having the relationships that you want,
living that freedom based life that you want.
 
And what did they focus you on?
Was it the money?
Was it the freedom that the money gives?
Was it the ease?
Did they tell you about the the BIG $30,000 dollar deal they just closed? And how they do that all the time…
Did they tell you that you can keep not showing up for your non-tribe and do the same?
Did they tell you to just increase your price point,
to focus on the numbers.
To focus on adds?
Funnels?
To go get another training in some field that you will never use in your practice?
 
You are working with a fake.
And that beautiful,
that should piss you off.
 
Because the more you buy into that illusion,
the more you allow yourself to be infected with the lies,
the more you will become like that.
And that WILL NEVER get you the life that you want.
 
People do things for just a few reasons:
Happiness
Freedom
Family
Money
Power
 
The umbrella item is happiness.
This is all of our WHY.
 
The interesting thing though is that we often will sacrifice our happiness because of comfort.
We will lean into comfort because happiness will challenge us to step out of what we have been doing and to do something that forces expansion, a.k.a CHANGE.
 
And the fake ass that has come along and sold you a pipe dream that you gotta change not much at all,
that you don’t gotta show the eff up,
that you don’t have to build a TRIBE,
not just numbers,
but an aligned TRIBE,
that wants to feel you,
know you and have you know them too,
is an effing fake who is ONLY in the hustle for the money.
 
Going after the financial reward will only serve you short term.
It will only build your business so big.
And if you are a person who wants to feel good,
feel in alignment to your SOUL,
and be a positive ripple in this world,
then you need to WAKE UP to the fake that is selling you that illusion over there.
 
Can they show you the numbers?
Do they have an aligned TRIBE?
Do they have the testimonies?
Do they message from SOUL?
How often do they show the eff up for their tribe?
Do they share authentically about life, themselves?
Can you feel them?
 
Or do they only flap their gums and type up words that are empty as F-ck?
 
Because baby,
anyone can play a good game.
Anyone can toss around numbers.
Anyone can speak about their up-lines successes like it’s their own.
But, if you are going to listen and do what they say,
in hopes that they have found the true path to making the SHIZ happen,
then perhaps you should verify that they are makin’ their own shiz happen first.
 
Because I gotta say,
there is nothing worse then spending time, energy and money on a fake.
 
It’s a trauma that can be avoided with a few questions,
with a little research and by opening your damn eye’s up.
 
I share these words with you,
because in my working with entrepreneurs and souls who desire to live a life of freedom over the last two decades,
that I have seen many a soul fall prey to false prophets.
And often they are lead astray because they themselves fear commitment, change and growth.
 
Those of us who know that we were born for something more,
that we are not the 99%,
but the 1%ers,
we know that we must CHANGE.
We know that this road less traveled will require us to face our shadow’s,
to expand our thinking and views,
to fully feel life.
We know that we can step in faith,
with ease,
and that giving ourselves grace is important.
We know that we have a purpose.
That this THING,
this THING that we cannot, not do –
is what breathes life into our soul.
 
And we know the power of showing the f-ck up.
We understand the value of calling in our aligned tribe, not just numbers,
we desire to be seen,
to be felt.
 
And we value AUTHENTICITY.
 
Not here to play games.
Not here to tell you lies.
Not here to paint false pictures that I heard from someones else’s lips or thought would convince.
 
Nope,
none of that crap here.
 
Just good old,
real world,
human to human,
sharing, educating, and experiencing,
with a desire to be a positive ripple in this world and faith that God will support that and the money….
 
The money,
that we all want and need to make sure that we can keep doing what we are doing and helping those we are helping,
yeah that money…
 
Well that money is the manifesting evidence as well as the lifestyle,
the vitality,
the health,
the well being,
the effing light in our eye’s,
that the universe is supporting of our efforts.
 
And that support,
it will easily be SEEN.
There will be no doubt beautiful.
 
Because those of us who do not desire to be fake,
those of us who just ARE,
you can feel our energy before we walk into the room,
you can see our glow a thousand miles away,
you can feel the connection in the words we write,
the words we speak,
our messages are unapologetic, clear of falsities and fear.
We stand in confidence,
we are stable in our energy,
because we KNOW.
 
And beautiful,
This is WHO YOU ARE.
 
You are worthy.
You are deserving.
You have a message to be shared.
 
But first,
you must wash that muck of falsity out of your energy,
clear it from your community,
and step into the desire of OWNING WHO YOU ARE.
 
Operate from Authenticity beautiful,
NOT FEAR.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.
 
 
 
Posted on

GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

GIVE YOURSELF THE DAMN PERMISSION.

It’s time beautiful to stop accepting so little for what you want.
It’s time to stop being available for all this shiz that is not serving you.
It’s time for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE and scale your life up to match that version of you.

But here is the thing gorgeous,
in order for you to do this,
to have that, that you so desire and feel that you cannot not do/have….

You MUST give yourself the damn permission.
You must give yourself the permission to receive the success,
receive the love,
receive the healing,
receive the lifestyle,
the joy.

Until you stop settling for suffering and lack,
until you commit to having what you want and you KNOW that you are worthy of,
you will never achieve it.
You will not call in what you want until YOU,
no one else make it so.

And you do this by giving yourself permission to be the damn person that you know that you are.

You do this by not accepting your reasons and excuses anymore and calling out your own bullsh*t.

You do this by applying not harder or more work,
but by applying your SOUL – led callings and heart to your life.

You do this by no longer closing your eye’s and hoping that ignoring it, that it will magically go away, all the while you sit around and fantasize about the horror that will happen.

STOP THAT SHIZ!

When you have decided that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of not living up to the person that you know that you are,

when you have had enough of the not having the life that you want,

when you are FINALLY exhausted enough,
and gotten to the point of done,
and realized that NO ONE else on this planet is going to ever
come in and say,

“Hey you… yeah you with the big dreams and goals. You who deserves to have it all… you who has been working your ass off for so long and struggled so much… yeah you…. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION to have it now.”

Yeah that is not going to happen beautiful.
People may support you in different ways.
Your tribe will pat you on the back and love on you.
Your mentors will love you with some deep inquiry work and a smile of knowing.

But NO ONE ELSE will ever be able to give you permission to step the f-ck up to who you are meant to be and JUST BE IT!

That is all you BABY!

There is nothing that anyone else can do to get you to shift,
to scale up your life, your business,
to get you to heal quicker, love more open, trust again…

NADA…
NOTHING…
NO ONE!

The only person who can give you the damn thing that you need RIGHT NOW…

Which happens to be permission to be unstoppable.
Permission to have it all.
Permission to BE YOU – unapologetically.

IS YOU!

So what is stopping you?

When will you have had enough of your own bullshit?
When will you finally be tired of accepting so little for your life and your joy?
When will your suffering no longer serve you?

Because as long as you accept your suffering as something that is giving you the attention that you need,
as long as you keep leaning in on your reasons, worries, doubts and excuses,

the one thing you will be guaranteed is that you WILL NOT have what you want in work, love or life.

But you have to get to enough being enough.

You have to want for your own joy more than your suffering.
You have to embrace the reality that there is another way to connect other than through drama and pain body.
You have to want to release the bondage that you have put yourself in.

And when you reach this pivotal point on your path to CLAIMING YOUR LIFE…

You will give yourself the damn permission.

And then baby,
it’s LIGHTS OUT to all that holds you back.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to say yes to your life,
to claim the lifestyle that you want.
Ready to love yourself.
To have the money, time, love, freedom that your soul craves for?

Let’s chat!

Posted on

“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

 
So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!
 
Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.
 
We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.
We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.
We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.
 
We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.
 
Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?
 
Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?
They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.
 
And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.
 
This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)
he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱
 
Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣
 
The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,
this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.
 
The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.
 
This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.
It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.
 
There is so much pain in our world.
SO much pain in the people’s hearts.
And we are being blinded by it.
It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.
And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.
We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.
 
Competition these days is evil.
You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.
You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.
You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.
You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.
 
The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.
 
That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔
 
And yet,
we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.
We flock to things that are not average.
We crave connection more then every.
We feel so isolated and misunderstood,
road rage and depression is normal,
everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.
 
Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.
 
And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?
 
It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.
 
It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.
 
It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.
 
It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,
 
Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,
who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.
 
WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.
 
The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.
 
But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
 
I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.
 
I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.
 
And you are not walking.
You are flying BABY!
You have wings.
And you have GREATNESS inside of you.
 
Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.
 
And this world,
this world is what you make of it.
Is what you choose to focus on,
so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,
 
Instead,
Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!
 
💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
 
Posted on

Scale Up Your Business NOW with THIS #1 TRIBE Building Hack

Up-level your business they say.
Scaling it up they say.
Have BIG goals they say.
Know your numbers they say.
Build a BIG following they say.
It’s all about your data base, your newsletter sign ups.
It’s all about your likes, your follows, and your conversion rates.
What funnel works best for you?
 
OMG! I can tell you from one mompreneur or entrepreneur to another I am effing sick and tired of all the numbers focus.
 
The other day I shared with a fellow coaching friend some of my recent growth numbers for my business. I was sharing the rapid growth that I am having around a few things that I am doing and the positive rewards that I am getting.
 
Now I shared my numbers growth as to follows and interactions not the dollar amount that anything is converting to in sales.
 
This coaches response was, “Yeah that’s great but is it converting to sales?”
 
With this singular statement I was allowed to see where her focus is at and what she is doing her coaching for…
 
THE MONEY.
Not the TRIBE.
 
And that is fine and dandy.
Don’t get me wrong,
anyone who says that they are not wanting financial reward from a business is full of bunk,
after all money is what allows us to keep doing what we love and do best.
Money is what provides us the freedom to live the lives that we want.
Money is a symbol of our alignment to what we are doing and the universes support of our efforts.
It is good to want money, to gain money and to want to grow our pot of gold.
 
But what I am talking about is not MONEY.
I am talking about TRIBE.
I am talking about IMPACT.
I am talking about being the change that you want to see in this world and making it so.
 
So when I speak about leveling up my business,
do I have money goals ?
F-ck yes! I do!!!
 
But my goals are based on the EMPIRE I desire to build
a.k.a. TRIBE
 
And what does tribe really mean to me?
Tribe means like minded, soul aligned people who want similar things and want to expand their lives to THRIVING in work, love and life in general.
 
So all the funnels and conversion talk irritates me after a bit even though I watch my conversion rates like a crazed golden retriever on too much caffeine.
 
Here is what I have learned,
and if you are anything like me and wanting to live a freedom based lifestyle making a positive impact on this beautiful world of ours and creating a dynamic future for yourself and your babies then you may want to LISTEN UP NOW….
 
Money will come when you feel good about money coming.
When you create a positive space for it to come into.
When you are not hunting it, attacking it and searching for it.
But instead when you ALLOW yourself to have it.
 
And if your WHY around your business is solely focused on the money that you will make,
you can make BIG money for sure,
but you will NOT be loving your life that you created and therefore you will find yourself trapped by the very WHY that you were doing it for.
 
Your WHY must be something more purposeful,
than money.
 
Those numbers they will convert to money as long as you stay committed to your message alignment.
 
Those numbers will convert to sales as long as you stay true and let your energy be seen and felt.
 
Those numbers will convert to profits as long as you have fun with them and build a TRIBE.
 
And building tribe is NOT about gaining BIG follows and likes.
It’s about quality and alignment not quantity.
 
I recently looked at a fellow coaches business page on Facebook and I was like,
 
” Holy crap! she went from zero to 9k likes! HOW?”
 
I wanted to know how she did it overnight basically.
Admittedly I felt a tad jealous for a half of a second.
 
LOL…
 
But then I did some detective work and I simply clicked on the fans of her page under one of her most viewed recent posts.
 
What I saw was a bunch a fans that were not real.
 
They were obviously low vibe,
not aligned mindset,
bought and paid for numbers,
that will NEVER CONVERT to anything other that irritation.
 
The hype of reach 10k biz fans on social media and it’s all over you will never have to look back is true and not true.
 
Because it is about quality and TRIBE ( aligned followers)
NOT quantity of trash followers or unaligned peeps.
 
So this message today is to all you beautiful souls who want that freedom based laptop lifestyle.
 
You can have it.
 
Yes you can.
 
But keep the focus NOT on the money goal but on the aligned tribe goal and the consistency of showing up daily in your messaging to them.
 
From that the MONEY will just show up.
 
Remember that people don’t buy a product,
they buy you.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Announcing the pre-launch for Superwoman Success Secrets for Today’s Mompreneur.
 
This is a 4-week Facebook Live training focused on getting you mama’s into soul alignment with work, life and motherhood balance.
 
As a mama of 7 babies and an entrepreneur for the last 17+ years I can tell you that I have had my fair share of challenges and lessons to learn.
 
Over this 4- weeks I will share with you the hacks, tips and tricks that I have acquired to keep my sanity, stay a full time mama with freedom, purpose and plenty of time for play!
 
Plus make BIG Moolah doing what my SOUL has called me to do making my work my second love to my babies.
 
If this sounds of interest to you and you are tired of the fatigue of trying to manage it all and making excuses as to why you cannot play more with your children, give more self-care time, travel more and can’t quiet figure out HOW to manage it all and stay sane, let alone feel like you are THRIVING, then this training is for you beautiful.
 
Message me for pre-registration deet’s NOW or comment in the messages that you want deet’s below.