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NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…

NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A MAN…
Until now.
And this is the sad reality of so many relationships, marriages even of today and perhaps of all time.
We want for connection, unconditional love, trust, respect and union of our hearts, minds and souls but when we get down to brass taxes on relationships and our commitment to our said primary partners it is often revealed that the primary is not the primary. The person that we refer to as our primary partner or significant other, our lifemate, or our soulmate typically gets the short end of the stick with our emotional investment.
We give them time,
time that we designate for the relationship such as “date nights” or dinner. We may attend church or concerts with them, we may go to social functions or sit and watch TV.
We give them sex,
mainly because this is what is believed to make primary or significant other just that. Our sex is the piece that no one else gets (unless we are in an open relationship or we are having an affair). And so we rub our bodies together and we give it up. Because that is what we are to do to show our relationship commitment.
We give them support,
typically this is financial support from one partner and house/family/orderly support from the other. However in today’s times most relationships both contribute to finances and even though both try to support the labors of child rearing and chores, one partner will feel as though they carry more of the load then the other.
We give idle conversation and listening.
Simply meaning that we pretend to listen and share.
We talk to our partners about surface level items or responsibilities and we step away from the deeper conversations. The one’s where we are forced to inquire about who we are as a couple and what our long term visions are or what our current challenges are.
And so we have the average and ordinary union of today.
Where emotional investment is at a low, however our understanding of relationship is that it is more about commerce than love and connection. We live in a free trade society where we no longer sell off our daughters and sons to create peace between nations or for the survival of family but instead we barter our own flesh for the best opportunities and then wonder why we are not happy with our outcomes.
We trade our emotional happiness for the richest, hottest, youngest, strongest version of a partner, brainwashing ourselves that we are deeper than this and that we truly love them. However the truth is quickly revealed when we run into any amount of conflict in life.
When this happens we see where our emotional investments really lay and often we discover them with our children, our work, our bank accounts, and even our friends. We will make up excuses and we will point fingers. The blame game will quickly occur and with it couples will turn away from each other. They will apply focus to everything that their partner has ever done wrong, to the mistakes and how they have never felt loved or supported by them. They will make painful statements about how the sex always sucked, they were just doing it out of duty, how they have not been attracked to their mate forever and they will slaughter their partner without hesitation.
All the while saying, “If they really loved me…”
But here is the thing, long before we ever get to this conflict state you can be witness to exactly where one’s emotional investments are.
It’s in the little things.
*Do you make your primary relationship primary every day?
*Do you opt for friends over your partner?
*Do you make your partner feel safe?
*Do you consciously listen and share?
*Do you inquire about your partner’s life outside of you?
*Do you make them feel supported in the little things or when they are not feeling well or feeling stressed?
*Do you laugh together frequently?
*Do you share common goals/dreams/morals/values?
*Can you authentically say that you are the most vulnerable with your partner outside of anyone else?
These questions and many more are insights into a couples bond.
And emotional investment is all about the emotional bond that you consciously are creating.
This bond is not created based on what someone can offer us in finances, prestige or even in how they look or how smart they are, it is based in our heart centers and the heart and soul alignment that we have to someone. It is then supported by the coming together as friends not just lovers. It is enhanced and a foundation is created through the common grounds of united dreams/values/morals/beliefs and goals on all levels of life not just one or two.
And from this space the emotional investment is maintained from both individuals desire to go deeper with their primary partner then any other relationship they have. Both partners must desire to surrender without emotional armour and in total trust and vulnerability to each other.
Otherwise, the relationship will remain surface level and will never be able to solidify trust, commitment and unconditional love.
 
An emotionally invested couple moves together as one unit in life on all fronts, making very aware that they are the center point of gravity for each other and it is their alignment from their cores that does just this.
How does your love rate?
What are some of the areas that you feel challenged in with relationship and how can you best lean into your partner today?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*S Believers”
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A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO ALL THE BETWEENER RELATIONSHIPS…

A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO ALL THE BETWEENER RELATIONSHIPS…

 

I am sitting here this cold dreary day in North Texas in total utmost gratitude for all those men that have graced my life with their energy, time, connection, sex and more.

Those men that I have laid in bed with enjoying what seemed like endless pillow talk, laughter and life shares.

Those men that made my heart sink from the loss of their presence in mine.

And for those men that infuriated me, made me feel crazy, were narcissistic, power hungry control freaks but also made me laugh and believe in the moment.

The men who caused me bodily harm.

The men who tried to destroy my dreams, my relationships and my self-esteem.

 

Yes to all these masculine, I give thanks and honor.

For without them I would not know what I want today in a man, in a life partner.

I would not be aware of my worthiness.

I would not be woken to my greatness as a woman.

And without these men,

I would continue on a path of dancing with “betweeners.”

 

First let me explain what I mean by “betweener.”

 

BETWEENER: A relationship that you know is not long lasting or “the one” but you choose to play with for a certain period of time while you figure your shiz out.

 

Betweener relationships help us heal.

They help us clarify what we want and need in a relationship.

They are educators.

 

And we ALWAYS, yes always know that they are between “real” relationships because there is something, just something that just does not fit.

 

Often this comes up in the feelings of:

*not being able to fully commit

*a nagging sense that they are not 100% with you

*insecurity in the relationship

*lack of turn on or passion

*our bodies will act shut down sexually

*we won’t feel safe stating our truth or just doing us

*there is a feeling of this is short term, a second guessing

 

These are betweener relationships.

Anytime, we know that we are not ready or able to jump into the deep end with someone, then we should get real with ourselves that we are not really aligned to this other person either for a lifemate sorta situation.

 

Often betweener relationships are lower vibration relationships.

Meaning that we call them into our relationship experience when we are wounded, heart broken or feeling lost in our lives, in who we are as individuals.

They are relationships asking us to accept less than what our heart and soul is desiring for and that most certainly reveals itself in the heart centered connection that we DO NOT have with a betweener.

 

But thank goodness for these relationships.

No matter how long they last for,

some we end up marrying,

some we date off and on for years,

and some are just flashes in the pan.

However, all of them bring forth great beauty and lessons to us if we so choose to receive them as such.

 

Knowing that we are co-creators to our reality and life experiences,

taking the responsibility for just that can allow us as individuals to see why each of these people walked into our lives when they did.

 

Perhaps they were there to help us get firm in a boundary.

Maybe they were there showing us such great beauty and love so that when our soulmate manifested that we could recognize them with greater ease.

Some betweeners, ask us to speak up louder, shine brighter or see our ego’s in more light.

Others ask us to learn how to guard our hearts and honor our truth with self-compassion and respect.

 

No matter the lesson.

They are powerful educators.

And today I just want to applaud all the “betweeners’ ‘ of my life,

because thanks to you bloaks I know who I am and what I want in a man.

 

Thanks to you I have done the clarifying of my heart’s desire and learned to slow down and listen with my heart and my intuition.

Which is exactly how we avoid betweeners and recognize “the one” that is right for us.

That soulmate love.

 

Loving you from this overcast day in Texas.

Remember that you are worthy of a great love.

A true connection of heart, mind, body and soul.

 

And to have that,

you MUST LISTEN to your Soul GPS.

Your heart and stop disregarding its directional offerings because you fear a life of being alone.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

And Queens who want a Conscious Man 🙂

 

Conscious Coffee with Kendal – Passion, Commitment and Betweener’s

 

<3 Another Valentine’s day Is Upon Us… <3

 

 

And some ladies in the house are ALONE.

Well no Queen is ever alone in spirit,  because we effing love ourselves,

right ladies?

But we may not have the man of our dreams in bed next to us.

That man who is consciously aware,

emotionally intelligent,

spiritually sound,

committed,

passionate,

makes us laugh,

and when he looks at us has us melt.

 

Yeah that guy.

Well to all you single queens in the house,

make 2021 the last year that you wake up without your soulmate next to you.

 

Check out this live training this month where I teach you 10 hacks to calling in the conscious man of your dreams.

 

Click THIS link below to read all about it and reserve your seat for 7+ hours of training plus 2-weeks of private access to me where we will get you on point and the vibe of your love.

 

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Here are what other Queens are saying about this class:

 

“Working through this course changed my world. Every training got me more into alignment with who I am and what I really want in a relationship with a man.”

Cecilia Jones

 

“Kendal is absolutely magical and her energy and passion is contagious. I loved how she brought humor and truth to all these important areas of being a woman and how vulnerable she was in her personal tales. It truly allowed me to feel her and to know that I could call in my true love.”

Kristie Lamar

 

“I have been struggling with dating for years. After a nasty divorce I really had given up on love, but then I found this course and I kid you not, not four months after working through Kendal’s course I met a man that was everything I had ever wanted. I am happy to share that we are now engaged and planning our future together. In so much gratitude for all the education and resources that were offered here in this course. “

Jen Santers

 

DON’T WAIT ANOTHER DAY!!!!

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WE RISE AND WE FALL…

WE RISE AND WE FALL…

 

This is the cycle of love.

This is relationship.

We lean in and we reveal our deepest aspects,

trusting to be fully received, to be held and loved,

here in this space where we are willing to sacrifice ourselves so often to hold onto love,

to hold onto connection.

 

The feeling of love that whafts over us,

lifts us,

carries us and seems to heal our wounds,

heal our fears,

and make us have faith again in love,

in relationship,

in ourselves and in others.

The feeling of love has us want for more closeness,

makes us want to take away the space between ourselves and the the one we have put our attention toward,

we go deeper,

and we open in faith that this other human being will hold us safe no matter what,

we feel as though they will always choose us over anything else,

including themselves,

and we drift.

We drift into our delusions away from the truth,

away from our core,

away from reality and in this moment of believing that they will always choose us over even themselves,

we give away our power.

We lose ourselves.

 

And thus we lose the relationship.

For in the rise of what we call love,

we create our own suffering.

We cling to this other human making them our everything,

and we forget who we are.

Soon, we swirl and twirl within ourselves,

losing our footing,

and becoming whatever this other needs us to be,

instead of standing true to our core.

We start to lie to ourselves,

we tell ourselves that we do this or that for love,

that we must be something that we are not,

and that that is just how life is,

how love is and what is expected.

Our lies to self eat away at our core,

our spirit becomes enraged and feels suffocated,

but we continue the process of being,

being what our love needs of us.

Sharing our ideas,

sharing our hearts,

sharing our soul,

becomes less and less and we become a vessel of empty space,

empty space that leads to poison of the relationship,

of the love that we cherished so deeply.

And we fall.

 

What lifted us into the heavens,

what washed a smile over our face,

what lit us up and made us want for more,

now has us hiding.

Now creates pressure that we cannot breathe under.

And we fall into our own inner abyss,

fearful to share.

Fearful to damage,

fearful to hurt self or other by speaking our truth,

by leaning back into the space that we know we must go.

 

To stay alive,

to awaken from this pain body that we trapped ourselves in,

we must,

we must decide to choose us over the love,

over the other,

over everything.

And we lean in.

We lean into the raggedy edge of loving self,

enough to be true to our core.

And so we stretch into the awkward space that we had abandoned,

the space of US.

 

Here in this container of our soul,

we retrieve the lost aspects of who we once were.

We tap back into knowing our core,

and without warning we breathe in and find our world crumbling.

The love,

the relationship,

the other,

shatter.

The version of who we were for them, for the love that we had sacrificed ourselves for,

had believed their inauthenticity of loving us through anything,

of supporting us of being strong in our power,

in their claims of wanting all of us,

in holding us,

become clear once we choose coming home to self.

Coming back into alignment with soul.

Knowing our core and igniting ourselves from that space.

 

Yes now…

now that we are breathing,

now that we are feeling our core,

aligning back to soul,

that love,

it is no more,

and it appears that we are falling,

when in truth we are rising.

And what we were blind to was the reality that while we were choosing the relationship over our core,

that that was when we were actually falling.

 

True love is to lift us up to our greatest potential.

True love does not require us to step away from our core,

from our truth,

True love does not shame you for who you are,

true love not not desire to destroy what it fears,

because love does not fear anything,

least of all the rise of the soul.

 

————————————————————————-

 

To all those who sacrifice their core selves,

who step away from their soul and who they are,

in the name of love and have found themselves lost at the end of the day.

 

Love never expects you to be anything more or less then who you are.

 

Love expects you to love self first and most,

can hold your truth without reason or question and will never lie to you about its desires, or provide false hope in lieu of getting what it wants from you: You to conform to it.

 

Know thyself.

Love thyself.

Never second thyself.

 

And speak your truth even if it means goodbye.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”WE RISE

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A TIMELESS LOVE.

TIMELESS LOVE.

 

That feeling of coming home,

where you feel as though life is fully aligned,

where you have a peace inside no matter how hard the storms outside blow.

 

There is a stillness that overtakes,

the rhythms of life seem to ripple from your heart,

and you just cannot seem to imagine how the feeling can expand any further,

and yet it does.

 

Each breath awakens a greater sense of knowing.

Bringing forth a desire to be fully revealed,

to drop all guards,

all armour being put down as the magnitude of authentic sight comes into play.

 

In total free fall,

going against all that you might have paused over in the past,

fear may rise up but is quickly washed over with your inhale of the reality of what is being presented before you.

 

Mesmerized,

as though in a strange intoxication,

a slumber where you are conscious,

where you are hungry for more.

Yet, in full gratitude for this moment.

Accepting that if this were to be the last moment that you would count yourself blessed to the ends of the earth for having just this moment.

 

This beautiful, timeless moment.

Leaning toward another moment,

breathing in the here and now,

not wanting to miss it.

 

Full absorption,

of self, of life, of this timeless love.

That seems to have been here making itself known from sources that were false, revealing itself in the eyes of others,

for you to recognize.

Naked before self,

before each other,

under the starry sky,

there revealed in full surrender,

the answer that you have looked a millennia for,

that you fear of missing now,

and here…

 

Here it is.

Right before you.

Naked.

Revealed.

 

Asking for you to be no more than who you are.

Desiring no more than your openness.

Your truth.

 

It’s terrifying.

It’s breathtaking.

It’s all you have craved,

and you find yourself torn.

A gripping fear of losing it,

of messing it up,

somehow it escaping yet again.

and then the knowing…

 

The knowing that it is timeless and it cannot be lost.

It has found you,

it has aligned you,

it has awakened and healed your core,

and it is here now to take you deeper than you have ever gone,

to lift you higher then you have ever been before.

 

There is no need to question,

no need to fear,

no need to worry about your intoxication,

there is only the acceptance of it filling you,

lighting you up and revealing you from your soul level.

 

For in the eyes of a timeless love,

there is only this moment.

 

Surrender to it.

Drink it up,

absorb it.

Breathe it in and realize self.

Realize the power that has been gifted,

embrace the passion that is emerging from your soul,

allow yourself to be ignited,

to awaken and be raw,

Naked in every way.

 

Beyond the physical.

A timeless love is always there,

it is there at your greatest depths of self knowing.

It is what we all are called toward,

but few allow themselves to embrace.

 

Timeless love is here to reveal our truth.

To open us to our power and see how beautiful we are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Wanting to tap into that space of learning how to stand naked in every way with life, love and soul?

Reach out to me to learn the steps to awaken your soul today to the freedom based life that you are called to live.

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TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE.

 

CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE

 

The exchange of more than breath. 

The release of more than just air. 

 

The exhale. 

The release. 

The letting go. 

The feeling. 

The exchange that can only be experienced when a deep intimacy is present.

 

We crave to experience it, 

We value and fear it. 

We know its worth, 

But we have little concept of it.

Intimacy, 

True intimacy eludes us in our relationships and often throughout our lives.. 

We hear the tales of intimate love, 

Intimacy in our sex, 

With God and spirit. 

But we hardly grasp what it legitimately is. 

 

That is until we have it upon us. 

Breathing its existence into every fiber of our being. 

And then we know. 

Then it is unquestioned. 

Intimacy is the most powerful energy connection that two people can share. 

It exceeds the physical dimensions. 

It can be felt from opposite sides of the planet, 

It is a breathtaking connection of the rarest form. 

But why is it so elusive to the majority of people, 

For the majority of our lives?

Especially when we crave it, 

Work toward it, 

Value it and believe that we have it often to only discover that we are not even touching its rim when our reality awakens us to how distant we are in our lives from self, lovers and mates as well as God?

 

How do we so easily mistaken intimacy for the physical, 

Or for communication or time shared?

How do we believe that intimacy is a physical sexual act, 

Or something that can only be held in a container with just one?

 

When intimacy is expansive. 

Just like the exhale, 

It’s in the letting go and allowing of. 

It’s in the leaning into its ebb and flow, 

It’s in the energy of the exchange. 

The crossing of energetic paths and the meeting of souls that are aligned. 

It is the energetics of connection. 

It is the depth that we journey into, 

That exceeds words, actions and thought. 

There is no distance that can prevent us from touching our lover intimately, 

Through our sexual energy when we have this connection. 

We can go there on the waves of emotion felt, 

The visions we share, 

The heartbeat of our combined ripples in time. 

It is the exhale to our lovemaking, 

It is the exhale from our running toward, 

It is the exhale in our surrender, 

And the exaltation of our joy in our meeting. 

 

Intimacy is an energetic connection that has no reason to the ordinary. 

It has no explanation as to why we have it with some and why no matter how hard we work to achieve it with others that it can never be. 

 

There is no true methodology to create it. 

It balances on the tightrope of vulnerability and unconditional love. 

It needs witnessing and embracing for its truth. 

And it can never live when it is controlled, harnessed or demanded to exist when it is not in its natural state. 

 

You must catch it in the exhale of your very existence, 

And in the exhale of all that you know and have known. 

Because here is the only place where you can discover its beauty and strength. 

Its depth and value, 

It is the only place that you will be able to appreciate it for what it is and see that it is nothing like that, that you have experienced thus far. 

 

When you release into the exhale of intimacy you will allow yourself to drift without question. You will enjoy the simplest of things and find yourself speaking without a need for words. 

The silence of your energetic communication will be met with eye’s of knowing and hearts abound with love. 

 

You will fall in trust into intimacy, 

Because it is there to soothe you. 

It is there to comfort and hold you in the knowing. 

 

Can you feel it?

Have you felt it?

 

Truly. 

 

Or are you still captivated by the illusion of what you believe it should be and unhappy with the results of what you have?

 

Do you find yourself scratching your head in bewilderment at what I speak of. 

Unable to grasp its power. 

Unwilling still to lean into the challenging space of the unknown. 

And let go. 

 

Exhale into all that you crave with life, 

With your lover or mate, 

Your child and friend, 

With God and self. 

 

Intimacy is about the revealing of your deepest self. 

It is about taking down all the barriers and being seen. 

Intimacy has no boundaries. 

Not physical nor space. 

And that is the challenge of the human mind. 

We resist the inability to control. 

We fear what we have no say in. 

And so we turn our backs on the beauty of what we crave. 

We hide and complain, 

We fight for the limitations of it and we disregard the fact that it us that is setting up the walls to this beautiful energetic connection. 

It is our eyes that are blinded by fear. 

Hidden from our sight by ego. 

We can not recognize under the veils that we cover ourselves with the falsities of fear.

 

And so it remains elusive. 

And we sit in our inner chaos, 

desiring what we believe it is, 

Wanting always for more. 

And never satisfied. 

Always lost and empty to some degree in the relationship of life. 

With our lovers, ourselves and God.

 

But it is time my love. 

It is time to let go and exhale. 

That is where you will catch me at. 

That is the space that I choose to surrender into and meet you there. 

 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” Rumi.

 

Yes here. 

 

Here my love. 

Here is where you will find me, 

Witnessing self and life. 

Exhaling into intimacy. 

Into you. 

Into me. 

Into life. 

 

Will you catch me in the exhale?

 

Breath.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.

It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs. 

It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life, 

Now and forever more. 

 

Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.

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LIVING FOR SELF.

LIVING FOR SELF.

One of the hardest lessons I keep learning in this lifetime is just this.

The constant reminder that we are truly not here for anyone’s else’s happiness but our own.

Its a difficult lesson,
Because we are trained from our birth forward that putting others feelings, well being and happiness “should” always come before our own.

However the reality is not so.
You will never find happiness or fulfillment in putting yourself on the back burner of your own life.

We are all here for the same reason,
To expand and thrive.
Through our wanting for more in our life experiences we expand the universe.
It is through our conscious creation and desire that life manifests and we create everything that is, that was and ever will be.

We grow this desire and our wanting by experience of all that we do not want for,
Such as lack in any subject area that we want abundance in.

But for us to have the life that we are desiring we MUST become the person who can take hold of it. Meaning WE have to grow ourselves.
We have to become our truest self and get into alignment with out desires.

As vibrational beings this means that we HAVE TOO PUT OUR HAPPINESS FIRST.

No more playing around and taking responsibility for everyone else’s joy while we sit in toxity of giving our last drop of us to this other who at the end of the day cannot even fully gain happiness through our exhaustion.

Sure we can offset anothers sadness or life issues to a degree,
But cannot eternally fix anyone else’s shit.
We cannot actually make anyone else happy for the long haul.

Happiness,
Just like gratitude, love and the feeling of abundance is an inside job. All we can do is assist someone feeling those things in the short term, but if they do not find it within and know thier own worthiness then at the slighted retraction of our energy,
They will fall the fuck apart.

This is how you know that someone has become dependent on your energy.
Not realizing it often when we are in this state of dependence we are actually being what is known as an energy vampire,
One you must feed on the kindness,
The love, the empathy, and even the sadness or anger of another to keep themselves stable in life.

Those who are not acting from thier authentic selves, who are out of alignment with God thus thier own soul and who do not know themselves, love themselves, often are guilty consciously and subconsciously of doing this.

And they can make those around them feel guilty for thier life misery. They will play and toil with others emotions, acting the victim and helpless lost soul just to get thier feeding.

But this is where we all must realize that NONE OF US are here to save anyone else.

And we cannot even help them save themselves if we do not care for self first.

Its just like the speech we have all heard on the airplane at take off about the oxygen masks.

“Put it on yourself first before helping anyone else, including your child.”

This is because you are of zero help if you can’t breathe, if you are passed out or worse dead.

And the same applies to our day to day life and relationships.

You are of zero use if you exhaust yourself to the point of fatigue, disease and illness, depression all under the belief structure that you need to put every other asshole on this planet in front of self.

You MUST LIVE FOR SELF.
You must get selfish and love yourself enough to say no to everyone,
Even when,
Especially when they are playing on your emotions and hoping you will feed them.

Fuck them.
They need to learn how to love themselves enough to align the fuck up to source and not need your beautiful ass anymore.

They need to take fucking responsibility for thier own lives and energy.
For thier emotions.

And stop handing over the reigns to each and every Joe that passes by.

And you my dear,
You need to just do the same.

Its time to take back your power.
Take back your life.
Take back your energy and LOVE YOU.

Because baby you are so worthy of being in alignment and feeling fucking awesome.

You are worthy of living the life that you desire.
You are worthy of happiness, love and abundance.
Well being and satisfaction of who you are.

But you will never get any of this as long as you keep sacrificing your energy for all the vampires that you love.

Stop enabling them,
And start being you.

With all my love on this transitional day.

Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

Want to know how to say FUCK YES TO YOU…
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Posted on

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!

HOLDING SPACE FOR SELF AND DESIRES IS F-CKING HARD SH*T!
Man is it ever.
And most people are not strong enough to do just that.
They want to sorta throw up all their desires and fears on anyone who will listen.
Especially their fears.
And then later ,
IF they are doing internal work they want to share, share, share their desires.
All because they are learning to “speak their truth.”
And you know what?
That is true.
Anyone of us who have ventured down this path of self-awareness and love knows how hard it is to learn harmony in this boat of new found territory where we are given permission to ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT.
And it seems that we should be able to just ask,
and then any logical soul knows that whomever we are asking of will then answer.
And in a perfect world they will answer the way that WE WANT THEM TOO….
Every time of course.
LOL.
Okay maybe not every time but most of the time, right?
Because if we are feeling this,
then certainly they are as well.
And if we are both feeling this,
then it just makes sense that it can easily happen.
However, often this is not the case.
Often even if everyone feels it, thinks it and may want it,
frequently the universe has set a different course for the time being and we have to learn the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Turning our expectations that we claim we do not have,
but secretly always do,
into acceptance of what is and that we are always being given EXACTLY what we need in life at any given moment.
And you know what?
That right there is some hard a*s sh*t!
But it is worth it.
When we are accessing new areas of self,
becoming more embodied,
awake as some would say.
and present in life and who we are,
At first it is a beautiful land of mystery.
There Is adventure and sizzling, scary yet fun highs and lows that we easily become almost addicted to.
We learn to ride our waves of pain and pleasure,
because we start to understand this is so opening to our truth.
And it feels phenomenal to surf through these new waters and learn SELF.
The adventure of birthing into ourselves is a powerful, yummy experience.
Although not always fun.
It carries with it pain and agony.
We learn that inorder to grow and expand that we have to let go of somethings that no longer serve us,
and sometimes that can even mean relationships that we cherish.
Or jobs that pay our bills.
Because even though we enjoy them,
they are not feeding our souls journey any longer and holding on only means that we will sink our own ship.
This is some hard a*s sh*t to move through!
But it is worth it.
Then we have the internal world of our emotions.
OMFG! Don’t even let me get started here.
This subject of our human experience is among the hardest of the hard sh*t.
And that is because we are never taught how to hold space.
Not truly for someone else,
and most certainly not for self.
We get derailed by our ego’s at every corner of our path.
At first we chitter chat in our heads about fairness,
lostness, how we wish for this or that,
then when the pity party of the inverted ego starts to wear down we turn to,
look at what I am doing and how far I have come.
Pat myself on the back,
cause no one else is here to do it.
Or let me spout off about my good work,
my good deeds,
etc. etc.
The work of the extraverted ego here.
And we bounce around with our pride and our happiness.
But when no one notices right back to the inverted ego we go.
Holding those unannounced expectations on others still.
Catching ourselves.
Witnessing our ego’s is some hard AF sh*t.
And you know what is a hundred times more challenging?
Giving yourself GRACE.
COMPASSION for self to be human.
Say what?
Now I know that I have lost my marbles somewhere here in my kitchen on this rainy day.
Compassion for self?
Seriously.
May sound nice,
but there is no way that we can do that, right.
I mean I don’t want to let myself off the hook.
I am an awakened soul.
I am growing and want to make sure that I don’t mess up.
Mmmmmhmmmmm….
just like every other self proclaimed awakened soul.
But here is a little news flash my dear awakening soul,
YOU ARE STILL HUMAN.
And being human means that you may ultimately know everything,
because God consciousness does reside inside of you and moves through you,
the consciousness that creates universes is in you.
But you only get to be perfect and 100% accurate when you are in full alignment with God.
That is when you are on point.
And in order to do this,
you have to learn how to hold space for self which simply means that you have to learn how to not get trapped in your stinking thinking, criticizing and pity.
You have to not let yourself overthink everything.
You have to learn to hold your emotions in love like you would a precious baby,
without a need to try to do anything but hold them,
love them,
and APPRECIATE them.
This is ACCEPTANCE.
And this my dear is what we all must practice surrendering to each and every day of our human lives.
Because when we practice this we are practicing compassion,
GRACE for self.
And if you are looking for grace from anything else,
including God,
then check your expectations.
God always gives you grace.
God always gives you unconditional love.
God always trusts you to do what feels best to you.
God never turns away from you.
Can you say that you do the same for yourself?
Bet not.
And guess how you get into alignment with God?
Yeppers,
by gosh by golly I think you may have guessed it correctly.
By offering the same to self.
And to others second.
And that is some hard AF Sh*t to do!
But it is worth it.
You are worth it.
God knows this.
It is time though for you to KNOW THIS.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Many years ago I learned how to witness these hard AF things in self, and I spent a few years highly challenged by them. But after practicing and practicing, what I learned and was able to achieve was priceless.
Today what used to take me months and even years to move through I can successfully move through in hours or minutes even.
Can you imagine how much more fulfilling and fun life could be if you did not have to fill your mind and heart with so much chaos and worry?
Let me teach you my secrets.
reach out to me about 1:1 and online events now.

 

 

 

 

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YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you…..
“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye!
I’m glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.”
THAT’S IT!
And so we must part.
And part repeatedly we do.
Yet you long to hold me here in this moment,
forever captured by your desires.
But, neither of us can expand as long as we hold so tight.
Our power, our freedom and happiness,
comes from letting go.
Each moment that we are alive,
we are always transforming,
expanding or shrinking,
longing to be close, to merge and entwine,
or push away and fly free in who we are in the moment.
Goodbye feels permanent.
It is like the feeling of death, is it not?
And so we strive to avoid it.
We fear it.
And we try our damndest to make sure that things remain the same.
However in our attempts to keep all the same,
we destroy the beauty of our lives,
of our relationships,
we squash what was so dear.
And we then sit back and wonder why we feel such suffering.
We question why things went the way they did,
and why those that we wanted to hold precious to us turned and walked away without notice.
The answer my dear is in your desire to control.
To prevent your own pain.
You fear goodbye.
You fear transformation.
You fear your growth and the expansion of others.
You are living so far from your truth and from God in this moment that you cannot feel the love that is in store for you.
Love does not fear change or growth.
Love knows that this is an attraction based universe,
not a universe based on exertion and force of your will over everything.
Love knows no suffering.
Love never feels alone or jealous.
Love does not point fingers of blame and hatred.
Love does not look for reasons to not be love anymore but in turn become anger or drama.
There are things that we can be certain of in this life of ours.
1) All things change. Movement and expansion is a guarantee.
2) Everything is energy and operating at a frequency of its own.
3) You attract and keep in your sphere of vibration ONLY those things that are the same frequency, all other things will cause disturbance and cause separation between you and them.
Put simply,
Goodbye simply means that the energy was no longer there.
And goodbye is one of the most beautiful blessings that we are given in our lives.
It allows for all parties to be true to themselves if open to it.
We get what we need from the time spent together and then when our energies no longer connect ( vibe at the same frequency) we are set free from the engagement.
This is far from a sad event.
No matter what we are speaking of, may that be an intimate relationship, a friendship, a job or career, a home or car, etc.
This letting go of anything is only creating an opportunity for ALL PARTIES involved to move forward toward their highest and best version and experiences instead of being forever trapped with something that no longer serves their best self.
Can you imagine being trapped as a twelve year old you? Just held in all time as that version of self, with all the bondage that you most likely felt from family and society? Having longings and desires, wanting for more but knowing that you would never be able to have any of it because here is where you are eternally?
Sounds like hell, right?
And your suffering would be far greater than that of saying goodbye to your greatest love even.
Every moment that you are living.
Every person that you come in contact with,
every thought that you think and feeling that you have.
Changes who you are.
And you are never the same person you were just moments ago.
Therefore you are always saying goodbye to a version of you and to a version of whomever you are moving through life with.
Although these changes are subtle,
over time they transform us.
And create the energy gorge between us and others.
Our holding on to old versions of self and of others only causes damage to our souls expansion.
Because it creates separation between our TRUTH which is linked to God, and our life experience ( what we are perceiving here and now). This is where our anger and pain will stem from.
When we are feeling such anger and pain, blame, jealousy, worthlessness and fear we are being offered the gift of realization that we are NOT IN ALIGNMENT TO SELF.
Self is God in essence.
God consciousness moving through us.
Spirit. The divine.
And to be aligned to self,
knowing self which is pure love,
shows our alignment to God.
We cannot be aligned to God when operating from ego/fear.
And this causes constriction in the physical body and world ( our life experience).
We will start to experience chaos,
negative events, frustration and suffering.
Signs of separation.
You are powerful.
We all are powerful and worthy.
And we access this power through letting go in love not fear.
We reconnect ourselves to self and God by looking the demons of fear in the eyes and telling them to be gone,
that they are not our truth.
They are not of God.
They are not of self.
And we turn our focus to love.
To appreciation for EVERYTHING that was shared with us in moments past.
We focus in on the beauty,
the expansion and the greatness of what we have learned.
All relationship…
All relationships transform and change and say goodbye.
We all will say goodbye to each other in big ways and small ways in this lifetime.
Nothing is forever.
It was not designed to be such,
and you would ultimately not be fulfilled and happy if it all remained the same.
Look at your life,
at those in your world,
in your vibrational sphere.
And ask yourself,
” Am I holding onto this energy in love or fear?”
“Am I grasping for it wanting to control it? Or am I breathing into it and allowing it to wash through me, whirl around me and carry me to my next highest level of self?”
One is ego based.
One is aligned to God and self.
You get to choose your path and write this chapter of your novel.
What does this chapter close like?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to explore the soul’s code to love, happiness and abundance? Reach out to me for my Asskickery Month of Coaching Special available globally 1:1 NOW!
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EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS STILL IS.

EVERYTHING THAT WAS STILL IS.
Yesterday was magical.
It was tranquil.
It was adventurous.
It was testing.
I had technical difficulties left and right,
and then the ocean tide came and tried to steal my romantic lunch.
There we were sitting on Ruby Beach just off of Hwy 101 in the Olympic National Forest in Washington. Home to me in so many ways. My lover kept shaking his head in amazement.
I could see his breath being taken from him as we ventured around the corners to see yet another immensely beautiful site.My heart was filled with excitement and appreciation to be sharing my Washington with him.
He would look at me in love and smile.
Ask again the question of the day,
“Why did you ever leave here?”
And I would chuckle.
SPIRIT.
Spirit took me from here,
spirit guided me to someplace so opposite of here for a reason, and now that place ( Dallas) is home.
Lacking perhaps in many ways from the natural beauty that Washington State offers in each moment,
Dallas is now home and I was called there with a purpose.
But today’s lesson was not so much about spirit taking me from the majestic tranquility of the great Northwest,
but more so about the realness of how everything that ever was still is.
Yes everything.
There has never been anything new created.
The life that was here manifesting and creating itself so many millennia ago is still all here.
As the years pass and things change,
as we perceive life to die and go away,
we in our limited human understanding get caught up in the ending,
and by doing so we miss the reality that life…
life never goes away.
It never ends.
We never end.
We transform.
We get rebirthed into something new.
Our atoms and molecules are still here carrying our essence with them.
They may break down repeatedly and get divided into smaller particles,
all the way down to a quark,
however contained in each one of these quarks is consciousness.
The consciousness of all time.
You and I.
We are here.
Inside each of these,
inside of each other,
and we have been here forever.
And we will remain in consciousness forever more.
Your memories of today,
the love that you feel,
the memories of fullness and the magnitude that life can have on us,
those feelings of being so small and yet so powerful,
those are forever you.
Life is forever.
Life transforms.
It moves through us and God/universe experiences life through our eyes, touch and feelings.
It is what we are here to do.
LIVE.
Sitting 20 feet up on the roots of a very old and extremely large cedar tree in the Olympic National Rainforest,
I breathed in this reality.
And once again heard spirit.
LET GO OF FEAR.
LET GO OF CONTROL.
We get caught on the ending.
And this getting caught on the ending holds us away from thriving.
It prevents us from fully living,
because we fear life and we think we need to control it.
When in truth all we ever have to do is feel into life and get into alignment with spirit.
Into alignment with God/universe and let it carry us to a magical experience.
Where we transform.
Where we expand as life moves through us.
This Is terrifying to us humans however.
If we just let go and let God,
if we release our need to control outcomes,
if I dare say….
TRUST.
Then we could be left with nothing.
Or worse yet,
we could die.
And cease to exist.
This is where we truly do not pathom our power in alignment.
By releasing ourselves from the fear of death,
we gain not just life, but we gain beauty in life.
We gain the full support of the universe.
We tap into our desires,
and as we appreciate and enjoy the moment RIGHT HERE,
life will grant us with more moments of equal and greater beauty for our enjoyment.
Bad things will still be happening,
storms will still be rolling around,
however when we are in alignment and are not available for such disturbances in our vibration,
we somehow as if magically just miss them and they miss us.
And this is how it has always been intended.
This is what THRIVING is all about.
It starts however with the reality that death is an illusion.
That even though this body of yours and mine will most certainly not be here in a thousand years,
and perhaps not even for the rest of this year,
but the consciousness that is who we truly are,
it will forever be here as it always has been .
and it will rebirth itself through the merging of quarks and molecules, through the new dance of atoms,
and it will remember itself.
It will look out into this universe,
into this world and the existence that is living and will see itself everywhere.
And it will feel its power.
The question today my love is can you feel your power for this manifestation of you?
Can you embrace your life and stop making excuses as to why you cannot breathe in the moment and LIVE?
Or will you just smile at my share and wish me a beautiful life or curse me for living and keep arguing with your limitations?
It is all up to you beautiful
Namaste.
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program Coaching available globally now.