WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL.

💃WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL?👈💃

 

We ladies can be so needy sometimes and not even realize what we are doing. Granted, today I am sharing some most likely pretty obvious things that we ladies are guilty of asking our men, however my point in sharing these things is to enlightened the women of my page as to what is really going on when we reach out with this sort of inquiry and what we can do to better ourselves.

 

Self-love and acceptance is vital to an emotionally healthy person and relationship with another. Both sexes have numerous challenges around self-love and it often shows up in our communication with our partners. Personally speaking I can recall many times when I have been guilty of asking these questions myself, granted after doing much deep internal work it is rare today that I ask such things, but I do still realize when the words come off my lips what is actually at play and it has nothing to do with the question asked or my partner.

 

Instead it is 👉ALL ABOUT ME 👈and my own insecurity in the relationship or myself.

 

Here is the reality, we women often are guilty of giving up our power to men when we are in relationship, we do this in so many ways from not being able to make clear decisions when he asks us a questions around what we want/need, we fear hurting his feelings or ego, we get caught up in performance issues, wanting to be perfect all the time, making sure that he believes that he is always pleasing us in bed and will say that there is nothing bothering us in the relationship. Women are great at faking it! All the while we get overly fixated on what he is doing and what’s going on in all areas of his life. We end up operating from a place of diffused hyper focus, meaning we focus on EVERYTHING and see EVERYTHING as a threat.

 

This is giving our power away and not operating from a place of self-love, trust in the relationship or him and only from the defense.

Leading us to needing what might appear like constant validation from him.

 

If you are a woman, in a relationship and guilty of saying any of these following statements or some version of them, then pause for a moment, go internal and breathe into your heart. Hear me now beautiful…

 

 

🥰🌹👉YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO VALIDATE YOU TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!👈🌹🥰

 

💃Does this dress/outfit make me look fat/bad? – Perhaps one of the most common and old statements in the book when talking about women, however there is still a reason for it and that is that we ladies are dang good at setting these traps for our men. Most men today know not to take the bait but I ask you this…

 

How would you feel if he said yes?

A general rule of thumb and emotional maturity understanding in relationship and life is DON’T ASK A QUESTION IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ANSWER.

 

So often we ask questions and then get upset or hurt by the response we get because it’s not in alignment to what we had hoped or wanted, then we finger point and blame the other person for being insensitive to our feelings and needs. This is not a mature response nor is it coming from a place of inner power. It sets us into victimhood and has us wounded around every corner.

 

I can tell you that this question is one you should just avoid.

Especially if you are a sensitive soul. Youmay believe that you want the truth, you want to know his opinion and want to know that he finds you attractive and beautiful but I have discovered over the course of a few relationships that if your man cares about you, desires you and is present with you…

 

💥YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO EVER ASK THIS QUESTION. 💥

 

Instead you will get an unasked for response that is something like this, “Wow babe! You’re stunning/hot/beautiful.”

 

You will see your man light up like you were standing before him naked. His turn on will be obvious.

 

💃Have you noticed anything different about me? – We ask this typically when we cut our hair, got our nails done, bought a new dress, etc. We are looking to see how tuned in he is to the subtle changes that we have made. And we are inquiring because we desire to know that he is focused on us at the level that so many women tend to focus on their man.  Again we are searching for acknowledgement and validation from him to make ourselves feel safe and good.

 

We women need to understand that men are pretty simple creatures. Yes they are deep and complex but they are more hyper focused on what is happening right in front of them then looking at every little detail of what is going on in our lives as women. They are designed to be fixers, leaders and protectors. If anything in these areas arises then they are on it, a knight in shining armour ready to serve the woman he loves.  Your change of lipstick color is not on that list and although he may notice how beautiful you are he may not put 1+1 together that your lips are a different color than yesterday.  Taking offense or thinking he is not being present enough from this is simply expecting a man to observe life more like a woman than the man that he is. 

 

At our core we women understand this, and what we are looking for is a need to be seen, appreciated and told we are beautiful, good, worthy of his love instead of knowing we are loveable and whole just as we are.

 

💃Do you think that woman is prettier than me? – Or some version of this. So many women will set  a trap here too and point out an attractive woman by saying something about the other woman’s dress, hair, eyes or what have you to draw her man’s attention there slyly. Again, be careful what you ask!!!! Most men recognize that his woman is looking for the response, “No babe, you are far more beautiful than her.” 

 

The reason we women ask this is because we are feeling insecure in our bodies or in the relationship. This particular question is a major sign of a fear and insecurity under the surface. Sometimes women who feel their mate might be cheating on them will start to ask these questions and pay great attention to where her man’s eyes are going when out to dinner or other public events. Granted with  affair rates ever escalating in committed relationships of today, there are plenty of good reasons for many women to be on the defense. We women need to realise that one reason out of many for why men cheat is because they are attracted to the confidence of another woman that we have lost. And much like a man who exhibits low-self esteem and confidence, it’s not attractive. Realize that when you as a woman reclaim your own power and focus on self-love and self-validation that you start to radiate again.

 

You must shift the narrative in your head to, ” I don’t need validation or approval from anyone to feel good about myself. I can feel good and love myself.”

 

💃What’s wrong babe? – My partner and I are deeply connected emotionally, mentally, energetically and physically. When he is ‘off’ I feel it right away and I feel insecure right away as well. His offness creates a fear in me that I have done something wrong, set him off, that he is pulling away from me and I have a deep desire to reel him back in. My concern rushes through my body and I start to over analyze myself and him.

 

THAT’S THE TRUTH.

 

I am a human woman. I have my fears and concerns and my baggage. Just like anyone. But this inquiry is still no good, even though I am guilty of offering it up to him more frequently then I should.

 

There are going to be times in relationships that our partner or us are out of sorts. We are going to notice this energetic/emotional change. The feminine wants to inquire, talk about it, emotionalize it, share tears and support each other. We women move through these times by venting. Men on the other hand, not so much.

Men need to be able to go internal and contemplate. They need to navigate their own emotions and thoughts without our neediness to be validated by them while they are problem solving. The one thing you can be certain of with a man who is strong in his masculine energy and who he is, is that if he has an issue he will bring it up pretty quickly. He is not going to let it sit and fester.

 

Most of the time when a man grows distant with his woman for a split second it has nothing to do with her or the relationship.

Again men are more hyper focused on what is right before them, unless they are problem solving a greater picture item or planning the future. However, for most life challenges they are dealing with whatever problem has made itself known in front of them. And this could be related to work, health, house, family, etc.

 

Where we women like to wrap it all together and hyper focus from a more global view making everything about us and the relationship.

 

💃What are you thinking? – This should have been number one or two in truth as it’s right in alignment with the last bullet point. We ladies are notorious for asking our men this question when we feel he is not being present with us and often this happens when he is focused on something else such as a sports game, a work project, or just chilling watching birds. Women in general have more issues with silence than men in relationships. Silence equates to disconnect. The natural feminine wants to be vocal and chit chat. Vent and share.

 

However, the natural mascuiline is about directness. It’s logical and based on what is needed versus taking up space with things that are just wasters of time, energy, or focus.

 

💥MEN FOCUS ON WHAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM.💥

 

So when you step into the path and shift his focus from what he was problem solving, contemplating or him just escaping away to his ‘nothing box’ as Mark Gungor shares in his talk, ‘The Tale of Two Brains” which I highly recommend all men and women who are in relationship or want in relationship listen to the full version of on Youtube, that you are shifting the narrative to:

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

Only says, I am feeling insecure and I need you to validate me and tell me we are good, safe and I am good and safe.

 

👊🤯💃LADIES, ALL OF THESE THINGS REFLECT A LEVEL OF NEEDINESS THAT IS NOT SUPPORTIVE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR YOUR MAN.💃🤯👊

Let alone yourelf.

 

It’s high time, we women get clear on loving ourselves.

 

If we want to live a life of abundance and devote ourselves to love and a soulmate relationship, then we have to do our own deep inner work and know that we are worthy without the validation from anyone else.

 

Consistently, handing over our power in relationships and allowing ourselves to feel this level of insecurity creates a wishy-washy energy and makes us appear less attractive, strong, centered and trust worthy to a high value man.

 

We are more likely to step away from our authentic selves and offer up what we feel will keep the peace or to try and become something that we believe he wants instead of being who we truly are.

 

💥A HIGH VALUE MAN DOES NOT WANT THIS VERSION OF YOU. HE WANTS YOUR AUTHENTIC YES OR NO. HE WANTS YOUR BRILLIANCE AND CONFIDENCE.💥

 

And he most certainly does not want to feel like he is responsible for your emotions.

 

Which he is not!

 

👉Ready to step into a conscious, loving, emotionally mature soulmate relationship?

 

👉Desiring to feel complete in yourself and no longer needing validation from any man?

 

👉Wanting to immerse yourself in the relationship of your dreams but tired of calling in men who cannot hold you?

 

Then it’s time to claim your power.

Reach out to me today to learn the secrets and mysteries of the empowered women.

 

As Always,

Loving you from here.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

I CONTEMPLATE DEATH FREQUENTLY… AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, LOVE, PLEASURE AND JOY BECAUSE OF IT.

🧐☠️🤯I CONTEMPLATE DEATH FREQUENTLY… AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, LOVE, PLEASURE AND JOY BECAUSE OF IT. 🤯💀☠️
“Nothing is permanent.”
There are few things that we can be certain of in our life experience.
Those being:
👉Change.
👉Suffering.
👉Death.
And THAT is all you get!
That is what life offers you my love.
Anything else is for your molding.
It’s very zen of me to focus on death and suffering in truth.
Life is truly about suffering and how we choose to deal with it.
Suffering is not really a bad thing, I say that from my deepest heart space. Suffering brings with it the birth of desire. It creates in its wake the contrast needed for us to learn who we are and what we want to experience in life.
Life is a wild ride and God/universe is its reign holder.
But you my sweet are equally in charge of the way that your life moves. And you do so by accepting that the above three guarantees are just that – 👊GUARANTEES. 👊
From there you get to choose how you will live your life.
And the sad reality is that so many of us humans choose poorly. 😢
Now, don’t let this share today rain on your parade by any means.
It’s actually a share of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns farting glitter dust everywhere. 🤣🧚‍♀️🦄
I find myself contemplating death frequently when I look with depth into my relationship with my man.
Never before have I feared this space of transition, ending, death.
I have never walked into an intimate relationship thinking to myself, “Wow, I better really practice detachment here. This man holds me to a level of my soul that I have always dreamt of but never anticipated to manifest. I fear losing him.”
And that is the truth.
🥰”I FEAR LOSING THIS LOVE.”🥰
I do not fear him leaving me.
I do not fear my saying goodbye.
I do not fear the passing of our love into something that is no longer love, HOWEVER I do respect the reality that someday,
and in my book all too soon, because a thousand years is not long enough to wake in his arms, that we will have to say goodbye to the physical that we know so well and find comfort in.
Life has taught me much about suffering and loss.
From the loss of my parents, the loss of siblings and dear friends.
From the edge of the sword with my grandson and his heart transplant to the loss of financial security, business, health, safety and love.
👉Life has revealed its cruelty and beauty all in the same.
The blessings within the fear. 👈
And what I am certain of is that until we humans fear with respect death, change, and suffering for the blessing that it is we find ourselves never truly living.
We avoid living to our fullest and allowing ourselves to be ravished by life, because we fear these things I share here.
We stand aloof in our hearts and souls, armoured and protected at our gates worrying about a future that we are preventing by staying unattached from the greatest experiences life has to offer.
We run from these blessings by some psychotic idea that we can control life and its outcome.
Which is the same for every living thing on this planet.
Death. ☠️
And by doing so we armour ourselves and hide in our suffering instead of embracing it.
We avoid what we deem bad or evil.
Crap luck.
We drink ourselves into blindness.
We hide under the covers of drugs and medicines.
We harbour our hearts with dis-ease and scarcity.
And we point our fingers outward and blame.
Blame life for these evils and pain that we experience.
Ignoring what we are being blessed with altogether.
The beauty of the opportunity to live fully.
We are fearful that God/universe will come and steal it all away from us if we allow ourselves to be fully immersed into everything sacred, beautiful, yummy and good.
Yet this my love is the sacred romance from God/universe.
This is God courting us into the deepest levels of who we really are and our desires.
We deny our truth and desire for living unbound, fulfilled and in rapture by being irresponsible with the blessings that are bestowed upon us in the blessings of suffering, change and death.
We focus so much on losing, that we step away from our present blessings of love, joy, happiness, fulfillment to focus on what is inevitable.
All things transform. Nothing is permanent.
At first in my relationship with my partner, I avoided my heart.
I spoke non-truths and attempted to hide my heart and soul from him and myself so that I would not feel pain again. I knew at my core that he was what I had been waiting for. I knew that we were deeply bonded as though we had already been soul-merged for a millenia, and it scared me.
I trembled in fear of losing him before we ever became intimate.
I feared him turning away from me, from God snagging him out of my life long before we dated. Long before I admitted my heart to myself I feared the loss. And I did everything in my earthly power to armour against him, to hide myself from the love and connection.
I ran.
And then when we stepped down the path of couple-hood, I still tested the waters of arguing with my soul.
Hiding and not allowing myself the permission to breathe him in.
To feel this love.
Still some days, I wake in fear.
And I want to run because I do not want to experience the pain.
The emptiness.
I fear my heart being torn right out of my body.
At the thought of losing him.
And then I come back home to him and I.
I bring my attention into the present.
And I allow myself to fully be immersed into the NOW.
I stop the worry, the fear, the agonizing over what will certainly come in our distant goodbye of this physical AND instead I breathe into us here and now.
I share this with you today, because I see many people suffering without any end in sight.
I see so many couples agonizing over the things that they have no control over and the fact that they desire control over the natural cycles of life and love.
I see so many couples and singles alike ignoring the beauty of their lives.
The depth of their relationships and sex.
I witness so many dynamic souls hiding from living the abundance and glory that they were born to live and instead pursuing fear and pain.
🤯YOU WERE BORN TO BE RIPPED OPEN BY LIFE AND LOVE!
That is your sole purpose.
You are not to be tamed by life.
You are not to be safe in life.
You are not to be harboured up and feel nothing, detached from your heart and soul.
NO my love, you are here to feel.
To experience.
To transform.
And if you can understand this truth today,
you will meet me in the garden of death and appreciate your NOW.
Because that is all any of us ever have.
👉The NOW.👈
And you are missing it and all its rapture of love, joy, abundance and pleasure that it offers because you are looking so far into the future and fearing what will come for all of us.
☠My take on the lessons of contemplation of this subject is that I would rather die knowing that I have lost myself in the full immersion of loving completely (body, mind, heart and soul) than to continue to hide myself from it.
☠I would rather embrace life and all its wonders and joys by knowing that I have shared every breath of my soul experience in the way that feels most aligned at my core then to blame the world and life for the shortcomings that are not really such but instead opportunities to expand and grow.
☠In looking at life, I see that there really is nothing to fear but fear itself as the saying goes. God is a wild God, a creator of dramatic experiences that birth us into all that we are meant to become.
And if we are to gain every blessing we can in our lives then we must have faith and lean all the way into such beauty as intimate love and commitment of our souls with another that we know at a soul level like no other.
We must stop the insanity of getting caught up in our futures that are never coming and instead Awaken to our present.
Embrace joy, pleasure, love, abundance.
And dance in our shattering, our rapture, our birth.🦄🥰🥳
Because that is exactly what uniting at a soul level with another is.
Are you ready my love for this beauty?
Ask yourself today:
👉🥰👉”What aspect of your love story do you fear will be taken away by life if you give yourself permission to fully immerse into it and receive?”
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

SOULMATE INTIMACY BREEDS TERRITORIALISM AND PROTECTION.

 

😏I WAS NOT GOING TO SHARE THIS PHOTO…😳

 

I was not going to share this photo with you because I took it just for my man. I wanted to keep it intimate and private, for no other’s eyes.

 

You see I took it one morning a few weeks back after he had gone to work. We had enjoyed a most connective weekend together as we usually do and he had worked out in this shirt that I am wearing  the day before.

 

The shirt smelt like him.

I was missing his essence.

I was missing him.

And like I often do in moments like this, I grab this particular shirt of his and wear it all day.

THIS day I wanted him to know that I was taking him everywhere with me. I even wore his sweaty workout shirt to my office to do client appointments….lol

 

AND SO I TOOK THIS PICTURE AND TEXTED IT TO HIM.

 

As you can see, there is nothing to see with this picture.

So outside of the fact that I took it just for him, why would I have an issue sharing this picture until today?

Why would I even be bothered?

 

After all, my business is to be vulnerable with you.

Share details, stories, thought provoking ideas and educate you on soulmate relationships and how to best go about manifesting that deep love, commitment and connection that all of us hunger for.

 

The answer to all of this is in your understanding that until my man walked into my life and made himself known to  my soul, I have never felt a need to protect an intimate relationship before.

I have never felt territorial and protective.

I have never had the thought,

 

🙏”This relationship, this moment is sacred to my soul and must be cherished and protected.”🙏

 

I have been an open book for the most part about my marriage of almost 20 years, my divorce, my affair in that marriage, the rape that I expereinced, the open relationship that followed that marriage and all the men that I have dated and explored. I have taught classes on open/poly style relationships, I have taught on “living the orgasmic life” and how important transparency and freedom is. I have shared all of myself with my followers at this level and those that I have worked with over the last almost two decades.

 

And now I share my heart and soul about truly being elevated by a soulmate love like I never thought was possible. I had read about it.

Heard about it in the many spiritual books and studies through the years that I had done and I craved it with every fiber of my being.

 

Craved it so much so,

that I attempted to believe that I had it in another and was heartbroken when I discovered how fake that relationship was.

 

And did not believe that it was possible or that I was deserving of it so much so, that I allowed myself to settle into a few relationships that were so out of alignment to my soul that all I can say is that those were insightful lessons of self-discovery that I could never have deliberately searched out.

 

Thank heavens for those rocky relationships and all that I experienced there and learned. Because the reality is that without those relationships and tough lessons about self and soul alignment, without the universe stepping in and breaking things up the way that it did, I would not be aligned to my man today.

 

😳I WOULD HAVE MISSED HIM.😟

 

And in truth, I did miss him…

You see the universe is a strange and humourous place.

Both him and I lived a few times over just blocks from each other as we bounced around the Seattle area doing life there in the same years.

We frequented the same coffee locations and stores.

We might have spoken in a line while waiting on a latte.🤣

 

Then somehow we both found ourselves in Texas.

And we found ourselves in a wound from a relationship.

Both lost in our hearts and souls, armoured up to the point that when we actually met, we did not recognize each other at that deep soul level.

 

The armour was so heavy that we pushed away from each other without recognition or pain, only to go do our own work on self.

 

And this is what we did.

We each worked on ourselves.

Until the work became about us taking the next step to heal together and to drop those guards fully.

And so a few years back we came together as though for the first time. And from the first few meetings our souls began to sing a song to each other about  love, commitment of lifetimes and a deep connection that was entwined through time and space.

 

🙏🥰I found myself in the stillness of moments together looking into his eyes and saying, “YES.”

 

He would chuckle and say be careful what you say yes to.

And I would just respond with that was from my soul.

My soul wants you to know that I am a yes. 🙏🥰

 

I KNEW WHAT I WAS SAYING YES TO…

IT WAS YES TO UNITING WITH HIM FULLY.

GOING ALL IN.

 

I could feel the collapse of thousands of years upon us, melding us together and the knowing that still stirs through my core today each moment is brilliantly delicious and confirming.

 

Now my outside world is readjusting to my heart and soul.

There is much cleanup and repairs that are unway in my business life, my friendships, my family and even shadows that lurk from my past. All that learning about self, those lessons that had to be given, they all bare with them a weight that is being purged.

Almost as karmic debt from a millennia is being wiped away as he and I go deeper.

 

Standing here in the light of all this love, basking in the reality that we are together and that this sacredness that I feel is precious beyond measure.

 

Bringing with it the desire to protect.

The need to consistently make a stand against the shadows that arise and try to steal the brilliance, the love, the connection.

 

My thought this morning while walking, hand in hand with him,

This is an intimacy.

 

And intimacy by definition is about a depth in vulnerability, openness and connection that can only be developed to its fullness when both parties are merged spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

 

As history reveals, such a sacredness in anything is often under attack. We humans as much as we hunger for love, connection, sacredness, our soulmates or anything that feels of the divine nature, we also have urges to destroy and cause chaos when we witness others than ourselves enjoying these delicacies of life.

 

There is a recognition that we have to have in relationships or anything that we are striving for and believe that we have encountered. This is the recognition of territorialism vs. jealousy.

and protection vs. control.

 

👉One is from soul, the other from ego. 👈

 

By doing the inner work on self and aligning to your truth, to your core you will be able to identify with greater ease which you are operating from.

You will feel and witness your inner realms and be able to address if you are just trying to control, please, manage, manipulate or avoid.

OR if you are addressing issues, shadows and maskings that have covered you for years and karmic debts that must be washed away in order for the union with such a sacred relationship to manifest and become rock solid.

 

However THIS my beautiful reader requires your desire to step forth in courage and meet yourself.

To see yourself in all your shadows and light.

To embrace your inner demons and your past, even finding gratitude for all the unpleasantries that you have experienced.

You must capture your truth.

And the only way to do this is to dive deep into who you are at your soul’s core.

 

From here…

you elevate yourself in love and thus call in your soulmate.

Ready to and able to see you.

 

Want to learn more on how to call in your soulmate love and unite with self at this depth so you too can heal, gain life fulfillment and find that joy that you crave?

 

Reach out to me today in the comments to find out more.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

EFFING SICK & TIRED OF THE WOKE, CONSCIOUS, DIVINE REAL MAN EPIDEMIC I HEAR FROM BOTH SEXES…

 

EFFING SICK & TIRED OF THE WOKE, CONSCIOUS, DIVINE REAL MAN EPIDEMIC I HEAR FROM BOTH SEXES….

 

Such utter bullshiz!

It’s a hot topic, right. 

Every woman wants just this. A man that is “in touch” with his emotions, spiritually aware, above all the other jokers out  there who are not “real” men. A man who will be strong, but not too strong because he better not effing step on her toes, be a good daddy figure, but let her rule the roost, but still know how to support and romance. 

Today we have a society of women and men who believe that this ideal that we have concocked is “good and desired” and then we wonder why we do not respect, truly love and trust our partners. We wonder why we are not happy. 

 

Pretty stinking easy to figure out. 

We have created an imbalance to the polarities of men and women. 

Masculine and feminine. 

And we have done just this through the use of becoming “spiritual.”

Gods and goddesses. 

Kings and queens.

Divine masculine and feminine. 

Conscious lovers. 

Woke society. 

 

Can’t you see it?

We are condemning our relationships through judgement, comparison and spiritual labeling as to  what is real or not. What is good or not. A man who is just being a (do I dare say it???) a normal dude, average guy, just human is no longer acceptable. Well, maybe he has never been acceptable in truth, I mean men have always had to show what they could offer, their love and ability to get into relationship and partnership with a woman has mostly been based on what value he provides, not what his heart is about, or her heart. Not about love but the value. 

Just like we women have long been looked at for our sex and ability to bare children. 

In today’s world however, women don’t need men as much for what they can bring to the financial support or safety table of relationship so they are now looking at men to be emotional support, girlfriends with extra tools to use when needed, fathers who are emotionally sensitive and don’t mind changing a diaper or staying home with the kids. 

 

In truth, none of this is bad.

Our world of today certainly requires a couple to support each other on all fronts, especially with child rearing and house chores. 

The best relationships and partnerships are always found with the mate that you call your best friend. So it is natural to have and want emotional support from your partner and even expect it more today than in times past. It is required in fact. 

 

With that said, we women tend to really mess up our men in relationships and stir insecurities knowingly and unknowingly. A lot of it has to do with the reality that we attempt to relate to our man as though he is a woman, not understanding that we are triggering him and placing judgement, comparison, and using toxic communication to tell him he is not enough or good enough. 

 

We can say all day long that he should not be so sensitive…

Lol, we want a sensitive dude that is tuned into his emotions but we don’t want him to be sensitive about our unkind communication that we are not aware of.

 

I hear so many women get frustrated with their man’s ego sensitivity. 

They quickly gaslight the situation with a pointing of the fingers to, “well he should just not feel that way, that’s immature of him.”

 

And then the true gut wrenching statements come out. 

 

“If he were a real man then he would not act/feel/say/do this or that.”

 

Or…

 

“A conscious man/woke man/divine masculine, would be mature enough to see this, tap into his enlightened whatever and shut up and feel what I am saying or how I am feeling.”

 

So this “quality” or “bracket” of man is feeling, but not too feeling, knows always what to do and say? Always puts his stuff to the side for his partner? 

 

It’s all a bunch of bunk.

And we women do not  respect that sort of guy.

 

We respect a man who knows who he is, has purpose in his life and direction, can see his mistakes, is not afraid to fail and get back up, can tap into his heart but not get washed over by emotions. We want to be protected, supported, led, seen and heard and opened up by our man. However none of this is possible if we women slam our men to the ground with such comparisons as I see happening and consistently telling them they are not good enough.

 

Recently, I have been oh so aware of my own old programs relating to men. 

I find myself triggered sometimes with my partner and sometimes unaware of falling into old wounds and loops, but then when I become conscious of what has happened I am often surprised to discover that he was triggered into a wound as well, and not by the event that was happening but by my poor choice of words.

 

I am frequently reminded that healthy communication is all in the delivery.

 

Just the other day I fell into an old wound of feeling like my partner was telling me what I felt and thought and I shot off coldly my boundary around my feelings. I told him with shortness and almost a mama bear tone to not do this. I had zero feeling toward what he was sharing and how he was triggered, thus his concerns coming up in what we were sharing with each other. I got caught in my wound and spoke from it which in turn created an unkind toxic communication back to him. Luckily for us, we are both hyper focused on rising above such things and working toward happiness instead of “being right” in a communication. So it was washed to the side pretty quickly. 

 

If our relationship were different, if we each were not always focused on developing ourselves and being as raw and real with each other as possible, and not wanting to truly hear and feel where each other are at, this would have turned out differently. 

My statement from my wound would have created a ripple effect and he could have taken it more like a command, a stern parenting, shaming even of my disapproval and thus turned that into I was disapproving of him. Even though that was the furthest thing from the truth, which would have created a backslash of emotionally immature communication to happen where we would have felt great separation and fear seep into our relationship.

 

Such statements as,

 

“Don’t interrupt me, I am….”

“Let’s get directions.”

“Oh, gosh are you one of those guys who can’t get directions?”

“Such a guy thing to do…”

“Well my old lover/partner/guy I dated always did….”

“I wish you could listen to me the way (insert male friend/old lover here) does/did.”

“Why don’t you just hire someone to do that?”

“No, I got this. I will just take it into the….”

“You’re doing that wrong..”

“You don’t know my body.”

“You don’t feel me.”

“I don’t feel you.”

“A real man would….”

“A conscious/divine/woke man would….”

 

Don’t get me wrong here. Men have a way of putting their foot in their mouth as well and being insensitive A-holes. And in truth, these statements I share here are brought on because men have not been taught how to pay attention, how to deal with their emotions, and in today’s world men don’t know what it means to be a man any longer. They are damned in all directions and it’s quite defeating for our men to just try and be “good men.”

 

I find that compassion and grace are the healing agents to figuring out how to best communicate. 

 

Putting ourselves quickly into the receiving of the statement that we are tempted to make often allows us to step back and say, “Wow, that might hurt.”

 

If we can see the judgement, criticalness, labeling, shaming or guilting of our statements then we can choose to either reword it to get our actual message across better or choose to not share, because it may just do damage and create insecurity in the person and relationship. 

 

Such as the statement of, “A real man would…”

Or “You are not doing it right.”

We women tend to tell our men they are not touching us right, kissing us right, listening to us right, making love to us right, supporting us right. However, we do it from the critical point instead of the space of communication based in love. Something I have learned is “seed planting.” When my partner does something that I really enjoy/need/want I make sure to tell him that I really liked it and how it made me feel. I compliment the good and ignore the not good. Now, if the not good is painful ( say a sexual exploration) I do not hold back from saying “ouch” or “Less pressure” or “softer.” I do not let him believe that its good when I am truly needing a change up. But my communication is closed ended and clear. I do not say shaming statements or critical judgments and I do not bring those times back up unless he says something to me. We are all human. We error. We get caught up in things and we can never know what someone else is feeling or experiencing, so there is no need to condemn the one we love for being human. This is where the grace part comes in. 

 

When looking at our bedroom life, there is no deeper wound a woman can make than to tell a man that he does not know what he is doing here. The quickest way to humiliate a man is to kick him in the bedroom with his skill, presence or stamina. All of these tell him he is inadequate as a lover, in pleasing you, bringing you pleasure and thus he is not good enough. Granted many men need some help with skill, presence and stamina, but if you focus on the good and don’t fake your orgasm but instead share how much you really enjoyed the connection, the touch, how he took his time here or here, I promise you that he will want to be his best. Men want to be their woman’s hero.

Men feel on top of the world when they see their woman in rapture. 

But fack rapture followed up with irritation and slamming him into the ground when you finally share the truth is detrimental. If you are going to share a negative with your guy, do it outside of the oment of sex or intimacy and DO NOT compare through a story of an old lover. (palm to the head). The same holds true if you are wanting more intimacy emotionally with your guy. Realize that he will only lean in and trust you with his heart and emotions if he knows that you trust him to lead. Meaning that you are not questioning if you need to stop and get directions or should hire out to do what he wants to do for you, the home, family or other.

 

Its all interwoven. 

We can not correct our man over wanting to be a man and fix things even if he fails at fixing it, and then think that he will be able to hold space for us to vent all our garbage to him and just say the right thing or have the best answer for wherever we are at the moment.  

 

We cannot compare him to friends, old lovers or others and not expect him to show some insecurity, jealousy and even distance. After all men are territorial typically, especially if they see long term with you and they  will quickly question if you care more for this other man then them or if you are attracted in any way to the other guy. They will see how you “value” the other man’s whatever and are shrinking them and their value. Creating a barrier to trust and security in your relationship and emotional connection. 

 

What we women need to understand is that often our communication is unkind to men. 

We do not give the respect and understanding because we want our men to be able to be egoless as if the ego is ever going anywhere and/or as though a man with an ego intact is low vibe, not divine or conscious and certainly not part of the woke society. What we do not realize is that we all have ego’s. And those who are proclaiming their “high vibe, enlightened” state of being have some of the biggest and they are still men, wanting what all men want. 

 

Feminine connection, physical connection, safety in a woman. 

Partnership with the right woman.

 

His ego is not going anywhere.

Nor is yours. 

Kind delivery in our communication is vital however to a happy relationship and partnership.

Learning to not compare, criticize, mother, shame or guilt are just loving things to do do for anyone we love, especially our man.

 

Our partner. 

Our soulmate. 

Our best friend.

 

Let him be your hero.

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Ready to say YES! To your soulmate relationship today?

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WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT WANTS TO GO AGAINST OUR BIOLOGY.

WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT WANTS TO GO AGAINST OUR BIOLOGY.

 

Well, mostly we women that is.

Guys will claim THIS, but somewhere inside they get it is not so, they know that they claim it to just keep that doorway there,

where we women tend to want to disregard, ignore and act as though we are above our biology.

 

It was not that long ago that I was one of these women myself.

I thought that I could manage it.

I truly believed that I could have the relationship and it just be what I was calling it and that both parties were feeling the same way.

I believed that we were elevated in consciousness to the level that sexual desire did not play a role and that I could seriously “just be friends” with my male friends and that they were down for it just being that and even wanted just that.

 

THEN I came into the awareness that most if not all of my male friends were actually attracted to me and that if given the opportunity would happily walk through the door of a sexual encounter with me.  So I justified the friendship by saying that they respected me and my wishes and that it was manageable.

I came to terms, with if a guy was hanging out in my life as a friend of some nature that he most likely wanted to bed me and I then believed that that was just the way it was and I had to accept it, but could still have the friendships, just needed to be aware.

 

After all, I am one of those women who has never not had a male friendship since I was 2 – years old.

I have had far more “good” friendships with men than with women over the course of my life.

The thought of giving up my male friendships pained me.

Feeling as though I would have no one left in my true friendship circle if I dumped the guys.

 

Then I had a few conversations with my son’s who are grown and almost grown, with some of these male friends, with male clients and even with my man.

 

Their shares can be summed up here,

“Why would I hang out with a female if I was not attracted to her? If I wanted to hang out for all the reasons we guys hang out and do what we guys do, then I would certainly choose to hang out with a guy friend, not a female.”

 

They all came back with, if they were hanging with a female there were desires to be with her intimately.

 

And I started to really allow myself to feel this.

To get right with male/female relating.

I looked at my conversations, my shared moments with the majority of my male friends and saw the intimateness.

Sure there was no sex, there was no kissing or intimate touch, but we certainly did share intimacy. Only the kind of intimacy that you can get from the opposite sex.

 

That vibe.

That feeling.

There was even a flirtiness at times.

 

Beautiful as it is, it is ground that is not stable.

And no matter how respectful and loyal a male friend can be to us women, if given the opportunity to have a door crack open and him get a chance to be with us, he will.

Meaning that if you are a committed woman, in any label of relationship out there (and I have been under a few labels over the course of the last two decades) that if you are pissed, upset, feeling disconnected in any fashion or form with YOUR MAN, and you share confidence with a male friend, know that you are cracking a door open.

 

If you are a single woman and you have guy friends,

and believe that they can maintain without issues,

understand first you are almost being cruel to the men in your life,

because without realizing it you are teasing them.

Yes just by being you.

Just by doing you.

 

If you want to be taken on dates,

experience the male energy,

etc. then perhaps looking at doing just that is the answer.

GO ON A DATE.

 

And realize that often the best romantic and intimate relationships are based in friendship.

The fact that you think of a man as a good friend,

If you have a trust, a vulnerability there, a fun playfulness with your male friend and you are both open to a relationship that is of more than your pseudo friendship, then maybe the universe has already blessed you with a wonderful man to explore in a romantic fashion.

 

If you are good with just “managing” these male relationships and keeping them at bay in some fashion, ask yourself:

 

💃 What am I really gaining from this friendship or looking for with it if I know that he wants me sexually but is just holding back because of what I have stated the boundaries are?

💃 How can this male friendship impact (positively /negatively) an intimate relationship I am in or want to be in?

💃 If I was in an intimate relationship with someone and they were having deep conversations, moments and connections of a vulnerable/intimate yet non-sexual version with another woman frequently what sort of impact would that have on the relationship? Emotionally? Physically?Energetically?

💃 What does significant other or primary relationship mean to me and how does opposite sex relationships outside of this hinder or support?

 

Now, I know what you might be feeling.

You may say, that is such an emotionally immature way of looking at relationships.

You may say that a “conscious man” is above this.

You may say that there is zero harm from being flirty with your male friends, no matter if you are in a romantic relationship or not with someone else.

You may actually believe and point to lifelong friendships that have never let you down and you are certain that they are “just a brother” to you.

 

I have thought all of this.

I have believed all of this.

And repeatedly been blown out of the water from these.

 

We cannot deny our biology.

Men are men.

Women are women.

And we relate differently.

We bond differently.

 

Men love boobs, booty, legs, hair, our eyes and are wanting to  explore us inside and out.

 

They will smile, chat it up, be helpful and drive from a state away to to  show us how much they want to  give us their attention.

They will support us in the worst of times.

They will applaud us in the best of times.

 

And they mean it.

But they still want the woman that stands before them.

They would not be putting their attention on us if they did not desire us in some fashion.

 

This is why so many men fall in the face of a woman’s attention.

Wars have been based, fought and won for the chance to be with a woman.

 

It’s just biology.

 

We women need to get right with it and stop being silly,

thinking that it’s harmless however.

 

Time to level up your relating.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Believing

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to claim your life back from suffering, fear, doubt and misfortune? Ready to call in the love relationship you desire. The abundance you crave for and the joy you know can be yours.

This Is what I have worked with thousands of people like yourself to have over the last two decades. Reach out to me today.

The Zero Separation Relationship & Why The Wolrd Hates It!

ZERO SEPARATION.
It’s funny, I have never thought of myself or witnessed myself to be a jealous person.
I have not thought myself to be territorial or possessive.
I have never been a woman who has demanded to be the center of attention with my partner.
I have never really missed my partner when they go away for the day.
I have never not been able to sleep without the connection of a lover.
All in all, I am one of those women who does just fine on her own.
with or without a man.
In or out of relationship.
I am not needy or clingy.
I am not one with a bunch of expectations or demands.
And if my man looks at another woman,
that’s okay. We are all human. We can appreciate other humans.
Flirting is a natural and even healthy thing, in or out of a relationship.
I am not a woman who is concerned about my partners attention or even ponders the idea of them cheating on me. Matter of fact for years I was in an open relationship and joked about how my partner could not cheat on me, because I was good with him receiving pleasure from whatever source he desired. That I knew that he would play hard ball finding a woman that was truly okay with open relating and could remain confident and loving in it.
This is all accurate.
For who I was and the relationships I had.
But today, I find myself in a completely different situation.
Today I want zero space between myself and my partner.
I have to convince myself that it is healthiest to have space. That we need to spend time apart, to enjoy time away from each other.
I have to convince myself that other things are important too,
that my life does not just need nor can it maintain by just being engaged with my man.
I have found that I want the world to just go away.
To leave us.
I have daydreams of a sweet little cabin out in a meadow someplace beautiful on ton’s of acres, where just he and I reside.
We have our garden, we walk, we talk, we make love, we watch the sun rise and set, the stars dance only for us. We plan our future and we enjoy each day entwined.
At night our limbs are enwrapped, he pulls me in tight should space emerge. He kisses me softly on the forehead each morning, and grabs me passionately throughout the day. We share our tears, our laughter, our embarrassments and we have zero space for the world to seep in and cause chaos.
He is my rock.
And I am his.
There is only him and I.
And with this I find that I am not jealous.
I am not possessive.
I am territorial AF!
I do have expectations and I do make demands on time and attention. When I feel a pull away, it is as though my very heart is being severed from my chest.
When I feel his armour rise,
It is as though I have been dropped from the highest tower into great rocks below.
And when the outside comes knocking…
It’s all defenses up.
That territorialism is a protection.
Its boundaries spoken and unspoken.
It is primal in my nature to want to secure the home,
the heart, the relationship.
For this relationship is far too valuable.
It has the feeling of life itself, the feeling of coming home.
Its depth bears with it a remembrance and a desire to make sure that it is never lost arises when the world comes knocking at our door.
Now some might look at this and say that a relationship of this nature has limited trust and knowing.
And the me of yesteryear would be first on that bandwagon.
But the thing that I have learned is that it’s not lacking trust,
not in each other or the relationship. It lacks trust in the ideas and wants of the world around.
And although our intent can be good for those we see in such beauty. We can say and even take action to show that we support a relationship of this nature and depth, but in truth we humans are cunning, fickle souls. We see beauty and something inside of us is angered that it is not ours and so without realization we attempt to destroy through drama, manipulations, anger, becoming a victim or finger pointing.
We stir the pot.
We stomp our feet like a child and we demand that this sort of relationship that we claim is so beautiful and we support is actually dangerous.
The zero separation relationship is based on soul entwinement.
I have read about it in such books as Thomas Moore wrote, (Soul Mates, The Soul of Sex, Care of the Soul & More) as well as much ancient texts from tantra and sufi to the Song of Solomn.
I have tasted bites of this sort of relationship throughout my previous ones, but could I fully grasp the desire, the complexity, the hunger of the soul and the pain of being apart if even for a few hours.
It feels addictive in truth.
It makes me question everything.
And yet I cannot deny that I want for nothing else.
He is mine and I am his, is a statement that dances through my heart and mind consistently.
And to think of allowing the world to seep in and possibly poison even one cell of this relationship is sheer heresy.
Yet we are told in society that this sort of close bonding is unhealthy.
That it is an addiction.
That casting out potential danger,
or setting hard boundaries in our lives,
is not good.
To close the gates of our castle is a joke in today’s world.
We live in fear of the “what if I offend” instead of ruling our lives and relationships with a fierceness of protection.
When we are in an intimate bonding with another and our souls yearn at such a deep level as is written about soulmates and twin flame bondings,
then how could we ever allow the world an opportunity to destroy.
Zero separation.
The vacuum that we must create in the casting out of potential harm. Because in such an intimate bonding of the hearts and souls, there truly is no other.
It is just the two.
Becoming one.
And this is what our union of marriage is supposed to be,
however the majority are far from anything even close to this.
We have great disrespect, a lack of loyalty even to what we deem our mate, our life partner, our spouse, our soulmate, our primary partner, our significant other.
We may make the claim that they are our better half or other half,
but in our allowing of the world to seep in and cause chaos, to spew its anger of what it does not have in your face and try and make you feel pity, are you truly honoring your greatest and highest relationship or are you falling in dissent?
Today I ask you to look at the bond that you have with your partner?
And if you are single, I ask you to look back at your relationships and ask,
“How have I been guilty of creating space for the world to poison the beauty and depth of said intimate relationship?”
It’s time my dear to be real with self.
To see where you have opened the gates to the wolves and let them feed.
If your relationship is just one of passing,
a between that keeps you warm, makes you laugh and entertains you, then perhaps you need not be concerned…
but if your relationship is one you claim to be entwined, deeply in love and wanting eternally ( or at least this lifetime), then it’s time to ask and look within.
What is more important?
Your intimate bond or the world and its desires of you?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Time to take your love into your own hands and heal from past wounds.
Set down your armour and embrace the life and love that you know is yours.
Want to learn how?
Reach out to me today to explore Soul Entwined Relating Now.
 
Photo Credit DandelionImages

One Man’s Miracle Is Another Man’s Misery.

ONE MAN’S MIRACLE IS ANOTHER MAN’S MISERY.
A life for a life was the statement that was made in a show I was watching last night.
And with this statement I found myself sending out a deep heartfelt prayer for the family who lost their sweet two year old child yesterday. This family who lost the life of their baby, I do not know.
In truth they would have never meant anything to me other than being my fellow human beings and only wanting the best for all.
However, yesterday this family became a blessing.
A life saver.
Their child was the miracle that was needed for my family.
And in their sacrifice, another life was offered hope.
As I fell asleep last night, awaiting the news of my grandson’s heart transplant surgery I was caught here between the realms of excitement and joy blended with anguish.
The reality that it was truly a case of a life for a life.
That both could not,
cannot exist here in our physical existence together.
Both children cannot have an opportunity to live.
That they must come together in an essence and create one life.
Amazing what our medical advancements offer us.
It’s magical.
It’s a miracle.
And it is great pain and suffering.
I fell asleep worried about my grandson,
praying for no complications, for a speedy surgery.
And I fell asleep with a pain for the loss that this miracle family must be going through at this very moment.
The life altering, never imagined event.
The sun rose this morning with beautiful news for my grandson.
And my heart smiled for my daughter and son-in-law.
My soul rejoyced at the good news.
And I thanked the heavens for the blessing, knowing that it was still a long journey ahead, but that this was a pivotal moment.
As I listened to the birds singing their morning song, staring into the flames of the fire I was sitting by,
I realized that THIS is always the case.
A LIFE FOR A LIFE.
We can never receive the life that we desire,
we can never live our dreams,
we cannot thrive,
without giving up our life first.
The life that we have become so familiar with.
The life that has brought us to where we are now.
Yes.
This life we must sacrifice.
We must offer it up at the altar to the life that we desire to live if we want to even have a chance at living out our dreams.
And so it is.
So is the hero’s journey.
The journey of the soul.
The journey of you and I.
Much like the blessing of a new heart for my grandson,
where another child had to leave this earth and not live,
so that my grandson could be offered the hope, the chance of more years to walk this earth and live,
You too must give up your life that you have been so comforted in to expand.
To have.
To do.
To be.
These little deaths of who we are must happen.
They are the ONLY WAY.
And they may feel like great suffering and misery.
They will bear with them much fear and doubt.
You will be altered by these little deaths.
And you will feel tested.
You will question, “why?”
You will wonder and feel it is unfair.
You will feel abandoned and lost.
You will weep at the loss of all that you were.
And when you awake from your slumber one morning,
and look around your world,
you too will rejoice.
You will be in gratitude for all that you were,
for all that you learned,
for all that you suffered.
You will see the miracle of this life.
And you will realize too that it is always the case…
A life for a life, because not one of us can remain who we are and expect to live the life we were born to live in the same mindset, the vibration that we are currently in.
We must transform.
We must let go of all that we know.
We must make the familiar, unfamiliar.
And the unfamiliar, familiar.
If we are to LIVE.
To THRIVE.
Today look at your life and allow yourself to explore where you are holding onto all that you are fearful of letting go of, but is holding you back and ask yourself if you are ready to say yes…
YES to living UNBOUND.
YES to living your DREAMS.
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Ready to take action and stop shrinking yourself???
Maybe not.
Maybe so.
If so then it’s time to take action alright and messge me today for a FREE Clarity Call. In this eye openning, game changing call you will discover what you are truly desiring, whats holding you back and the next steps to take to get you moving with speed toward your desired love, money and freedom!
But ONLY if you act now and grab one of the ten spot’s open for this FREE offer.
 
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AND I CAME CRASHING BACK INTO MY HEART…JUST LIKE THAT.

AND I CAME CRASHING BACK INTO MY HEART… JUST LIKE THAT.

 

He grabbed me,

kissed me and pushed me back onto the bed.

I was rambling on and on about my frustration,

my anger. Lost in thought and the mind.

I was distant from him.

Distant from me.

And lost beyond measure.

I could not feel my heart,

in truth I did not even want to right then.

I had been triggered and I was pissed.

Not at him.

At life in general.

My flow had been disrupted,

I had allowed it to happen and I was out of control of my life in that instant. The chaos of kids, work, house and family stirred around me and I just wanted solitude and peace but had no way of obtaining it because inside I was a storm that I had not even slowed to recognize.

 

And that was what he did.

He slowed me.

He grabbed a hold of me and led me back to my heart.

That space that I was forced into feeling my truth.

That space where I knew I was not alone in this world,

that space where he was not going to let me run from him, from us, from me.

And he passionately took hold of me there.

He moved with clarity, direction and determination.

I tried to fight his lead.

My mouth was rambling, but he kissed me and would not take my ego based words.

I pushed up against him and ran from feeling him physically, mentally, emotionally.

But he tore off my clothes and laid me naked, vulnerable before him. Devouring my flesh like a hungry wild animal and forcing me to come back to him.

Pressing himself into me,

not letting me go.

I fought with myself to feel.

I fought with the urge to physically stop his love at that moment.

Where days before I found myself lost in a trance of our eyes gazing  during our sexing, here I lay closing my eyes and wanting to hide.

Hiding from the reveal of my soul.

Hiding from my pain in feeling lost and angry.

Hiding by throwing up my armour and not allowing myself to feel.

Not allowing his intensity to penetrate my core.

My armour was weakening.

And tears fell.

My chest became tense as I attempted to hold back my breaking,

the cracking of my armour, the cracking of my heart and the desire to fully open to his touch, his kiss, his presence, his love.

His breath softly moving across my breast,

my heart beat instensing,

I could feel him.

As I came back to him,

back to us,

back me,

he let out the affirming words of, “Yes. yes.yes.”

I knew that he too felt me dropping.

Felt me feeling him.

And as I laid down my armour my pleasure arose.

with mine his came too.

And I was drawn in.

I was seen.

I was held.

I was fulfilled.

And my trust grew.

 

————————————————————————–

 

This is the taking of the feminine that the masculine must learn.

It is in deep love and devotion.

It is in divine leadership and surrender all the saame,

and it is based in soul consciousness.

Often mistaken for control or for a desire to have one’s way,

the difference is in the emotional investment in the moment, in the relationship and the centeredness in self.

The masculine is meant to lead the femeine home to her heart.

And it is the masculine that must remain strong in these moments, strong in love. Not cowering to the feminines fires but standing firm in who they are and in their purpose beyond their mate, beyond their fear or ego or desire to control her fires, but in turn they must handle her with care and passion, clarity and direction. She must feel his leadership as well as his surrender to his own heart to be able to trust him to lead her back to her  own.

 

This is the dance.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

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ARE YOU GUILTY OF CHEAP TALK? IT COULD BE WHATS DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

TALK IS CHEAP! AND IT’S PERVASIVE AROUND YOU.

 

“I am here for you.”

“Let me know what I can do.”

“I got your back.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“I see what’s been happening, where you are at, what you are saying, etc.”

 

There are so many things that we tell others with little to no meaning behind them.

We speak these statements with good intent often,

but we don’t understand the value of actually following our words up with action. Sometimes the action is just more words of support, or helping one find answers, or just simply holding space for someone who is going through a rocky time in life and needs to have that space. Other times, it means that we need to follow through with supportive action to those words.

 

Recently in my life I have had an onslauth of what you could say shiz going down in my personal life.

 

I find myself standing here not thirty days into a new year amazed at everything that has occured over the last ninety days.

Some mornings I wake and find humor in the events,

realizing that you can’t make this shiz up.

Hollywood would pay a mint for the tales I could tell.

And then other days I realize that it’s just life,

my soul wanting to expand who I am and strengthen my vessel so I can become everything I desire and live that unbound beautiful life I know is mine.

 

And then there are the days that I wake in total frustration.

Anger.

Fear.

Judgement.

Bitterness.

Anxiety.

Exhaustion.

 

And I wonder why me?

Why now?

How much more does God think I can carry?

And WHY do the people in my life not see it? hear it? Why do they just keep wanting more from me in the face of everything else?

 

No matter how I wake,

what I have been blessed to witness is a reality check in my relationships. Revelations on no matter who we are, we are all human at the end of the day and our humanness when overtaken by our ego is extremely superficial and self-centered, even when we attempt to support and give love.

 

We blind ourselves and ignore others’ needs and desires, even though we can see what is happening in their lives and how at the end of a string they may be. How close to crashing they truly are.

 

And we do this NOT because we don’t care or cannot understand,

but because we want what we want for ourselves.

 

So we act as though we did not see.

We claim they did not communicate clearly.

We say they never told us.

We spout back, “Well I tried but you would not connect, answer, etc.”

 

YOU WERE NOT CLEAR ON WHAT YOU NEEDED FROM ME.

 

We push back the blame to the other.

Not wanting to see ourselves and how in these times we disregarded what was right before us with our loved one for the sake of our own self-centered needs and wants.

 

If we were to get real with our words,

and to honor them and have the self-respect and respect of the other parties as well, we would stand behind our word.

 

UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR WORD IS EVERYTHING.

 

This is not just some old school statement that our word makes up our character.

It’s not just a line from Scarface or the Godfather,

John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are not the ones proclaiming the strength of a human is in his words.

No.

But I tell you that our word is all of this.

Our word is OUR CHARACTER CHECK POINT.

Our word is our STRENGTH.

or our weakness.

 

And when we say that, “I got your back.”

 

It should not be a light matter.

These words should come with an understanding that in them we are denying the self for another.

 

That we are willing to sacrifice our short term desires, needs or wants to fully support someone else and to stay aware of what is happening with them and in their lives.

 

Unfortunately, the majority of the time this is not what will occur.

The reverse is actually true.

We will state that we are supportive,

and then we will take the opportunity to bulldoze over our loved one to get our needs met instead, all the while pretending to be blind to it all. Pretending that if they had just spoken up, made it more clear, done their part that the boundaries would not have ever been crossed.

 

OUR WORDS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Meaning that with them we take responsibility for who we are and our actions and reactions.

 

Responsibility to being consciously aware of situations, people and what is truly needed despite our self-centered desires to get our own needs and wants met.

 

THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT.

Anything else is empty.

 

Making our words,

our actions,

and us as a human weak and untrustworthy.

 

What do your words say about your character in a relationship?

In life?

 

Want to have deep, committed, trusting and loving relationships in all areas of your life?

 

Then it’s time to stand behind your words,

and realize they are your strength or your weakness.

Your words are your bond.

Without them you have nothing.

 

 

As Always.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn the secrets of a dynamic powerhouse relationship?

Overcome the drama circles and superficial ego based relating game that you are so used to? Reach out to me today for 1:1 opportunities in mentorship now. Limited space.

 

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOP- ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO. ARE YOU?

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE – ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO.
When does it become acceptable for an individual whom may be a supposed friend, association or other to try to weasel thier way into a couples relationship to cause disconnection, disruption, or disharmony? All the while thier intent being to create an opportunity to be with one of the individuals.
This disrespect of the couple hood and the individuals can take the form of:
–> Sexual offers
–>Inappropriate suggestions, offers or touch
–>Under the guise of a shoulder to cry on –>Support that was not asked for
–>Disparaging comments about one of the individuals
–>Statements of desire or “love”
–> Consistency and persistence in advances
All with the intent to undermine the relationship.
Some of this overt.
Some covert.
Making them the most dangerous.
Acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing in hopes to lure the partner that holds ones attention slowly and discreetly over the course of time into one’s arms.
Believing that the coveted relationship can provide the same dynamics and connection even when one of the partners is no longer in play.
COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
The reality is that we humans covet many things.
Relationship is highly sought after.
It is our human desire and need to be connected to another. The bonding that we experience in intimate relationship is elevating and fulfilling unlike anything else. So when we see another experiencing the depth, connection and love that we may not be experiencing ourselves it leaves us hungry and aware of what is lacking in our own lives.
This is the birth place of envy and jealousy.
It is also how such disruptive and unsought for attention and advances come from.
You may not be able to control your feelings or desires for someone, however you most certainly can and IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE or even mildly give a shit for this person, then can respect them and control your feelings and desires.
Not being able to administer the needed control around taking action or expressing the feelings reveals an even deeper issue at hand.
That being one of little self-respect or honor to soul.
Instead of elevating self,
You find yourself trying to destroy the beauty in anothers life. When you could be asking yourself how you too could develop and call a relationship that others are envious of into your own life picture.
Becoming consciously aware of those seemingly “little” or “harmless” statements and actions that one may be guilty of serves not only in the best interest of the coveted couplehood but also for the individual whom is coveting, as the awareness and taking responsibility of said actions develops ones character and thus elevates thier vibration increasing thier potential to call in the ideal relationship for thier soul experience.
So I ask you today dear reader,
First are these tactics ever okay? And secondly,
does anothers relationship, connection, or love bring you fear, jealousy or envy? Where might you consciously or subconsciously be guilty of these detrimental self-centered actions and desires and not be realizing your truth?
Level Up Your Love Life Today.
By elevating who you are and knowing your truth.
Loving You From Here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want to manifest a relationship that makes other envious? Call in your soulmate and live elevated in love? Reach out for information on my LIMITED 1:1 and group coaching opportunities for 2021 now.
Make 2021 your Soulmate Year!