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TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS BECOMING EVIDENT

 

There is a necessary evil, 

A violence in discovery. 

And we don’t want to face its existence. 

But that does not change the fact that it is there and it is necessary. 

For us to evolve, to expand and awaken we must come to terms with it. 

 

For when we awaken, and stand on the brink of the world that we once knew and the world that awaits us, we will feel torn apart at our very existence. 

We will seize to exist as we have been and we will be forced to recognize who we are at our core. 

 

It will be terrifying and beautiful. 

And we must storm with courage toward it if we are to have the life that we desire that we were born to live. 

 

The defiance of such will cause your utter destruction and yet by leaning into the fires of your purification and awakening to your power you will expect the same. 

And to a degree you are accurate. 

 

However without this destruction of the old self, 

Of the world that you cling so tightly too, 

You will never have anything that your soul desires and was born to live for. 

You will be no more, 

Only leaving in your place a skeleton of who you actually are. 

Hungry to have flesh on your bones, 

You will wonder the world aimlessly, 

Depressed, anxious and fearful. 

Lost in the world and in yourself. 

You will mimic and hide under the masks of those you envy.

 

Not knowing self.

 

And here is where you must stand, 

Stand for you my love. 

 

Know your worth. 

Have grace for where you have been. 

Take stance to where you are going, 

And run. 

Set free your inner child, 

Set free the wolves of your soul and let your heart escape its bounds and shackles. 

The day is afresh, 

Your life is before you, 

The new world is calling. 

 

Go unto her my love. 

She hungers to give to you. 

She wants to swallow you up in her rhythm and song, 

Have you dance upon her flesh, 

And laugh into her mysteries. 

 

But you must claim it. 

You must allow it and demand for it. 

It will never be handed to you without your asking. 

But once asked for it will be given. 

You are the seeker, 

Do not remain blind any longer. 

 

You are walking the tightrope of your life, 

Which way will you fall?

It is time that you see one way is up and the other down. 

You have heaven and hell at your feet. 

It is time to choose. 

 

Will you settle for what you have always known?

Or will you awaken and see the evidence of your soul’s arrival. 

The shifting in time. 

You are being called too. 

 

 

Lifted up. 

The angels support you. 

Your shadow fears. 

It is not of creator, 

Not your truth or destiny. 

Turn away and run toward the path. 

 

Where two different worlds become evident. 

 

Lest you let go of the reigns of your very life to salvage what will have you lost and hungry. 

Broke and battered by the currents of this chaotic world. 

Washing and racking you upon its treacherous shores. 

You will not be able any longer to have discernment, nor love. 

Compassion will fall to the side and you will be haunted by its remembrance. 

This is the life that you fight for. 

This Is the war on self and soul. 

Can you survive?

Make amends today my love, 

With self. 

And open your wings to the heavens. 

Drop the skeletons that you believe are yours, 

And enter your rightful place. 

 

You are worthy, beautiful and strong. 

Time to own your reality. 

 

KNOW THYSELF. 

 

 

Breathe. 

And expand. 

Open. 

Open. 

Open. 

 

Set free the prisoner, 

The prisoner that is you. 

 

 

It’s time to claim your life, 

Now and forever. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE.

 

CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE

 

The exchange of more than breath. 

The release of more than just air. 

 

The exhale. 

The release. 

The letting go. 

The feeling. 

The exchange that can only be experienced when a deep intimacy is present.

 

We crave to experience it, 

We value and fear it. 

We know its worth, 

But we have little concept of it.

Intimacy, 

True intimacy eludes us in our relationships and often throughout our lives.. 

We hear the tales of intimate love, 

Intimacy in our sex, 

With God and spirit. 

But we hardly grasp what it legitimately is. 

 

That is until we have it upon us. 

Breathing its existence into every fiber of our being. 

And then we know. 

Then it is unquestioned. 

Intimacy is the most powerful energy connection that two people can share. 

It exceeds the physical dimensions. 

It can be felt from opposite sides of the planet, 

It is a breathtaking connection of the rarest form. 

But why is it so elusive to the majority of people, 

For the majority of our lives?

Especially when we crave it, 

Work toward it, 

Value it and believe that we have it often to only discover that we are not even touching its rim when our reality awakens us to how distant we are in our lives from self, lovers and mates as well as God?

 

How do we so easily mistaken intimacy for the physical, 

Or for communication or time shared?

How do we believe that intimacy is a physical sexual act, 

Or something that can only be held in a container with just one?

 

When intimacy is expansive. 

Just like the exhale, 

It’s in the letting go and allowing of. 

It’s in the leaning into its ebb and flow, 

It’s in the energy of the exchange. 

The crossing of energetic paths and the meeting of souls that are aligned. 

It is the energetics of connection. 

It is the depth that we journey into, 

That exceeds words, actions and thought. 

There is no distance that can prevent us from touching our lover intimately, 

Through our sexual energy when we have this connection. 

We can go there on the waves of emotion felt, 

The visions we share, 

The heartbeat of our combined ripples in time. 

It is the exhale to our lovemaking, 

It is the exhale from our running toward, 

It is the exhale in our surrender, 

And the exaltation of our joy in our meeting. 

 

Intimacy is an energetic connection that has no reason to the ordinary. 

It has no explanation as to why we have it with some and why no matter how hard we work to achieve it with others that it can never be. 

 

There is no true methodology to create it. 

It balances on the tightrope of vulnerability and unconditional love. 

It needs witnessing and embracing for its truth. 

And it can never live when it is controlled, harnessed or demanded to exist when it is not in its natural state. 

 

You must catch it in the exhale of your very existence, 

And in the exhale of all that you know and have known. 

Because here is the only place where you can discover its beauty and strength. 

Its depth and value, 

It is the only place that you will be able to appreciate it for what it is and see that it is nothing like that, that you have experienced thus far. 

 

When you release into the exhale of intimacy you will allow yourself to drift without question. You will enjoy the simplest of things and find yourself speaking without a need for words. 

The silence of your energetic communication will be met with eye’s of knowing and hearts abound with love. 

 

You will fall in trust into intimacy, 

Because it is there to soothe you. 

It is there to comfort and hold you in the knowing. 

 

Can you feel it?

Have you felt it?

 

Truly. 

 

Or are you still captivated by the illusion of what you believe it should be and unhappy with the results of what you have?

 

Do you find yourself scratching your head in bewilderment at what I speak of. 

Unable to grasp its power. 

Unwilling still to lean into the challenging space of the unknown. 

And let go. 

 

Exhale into all that you crave with life, 

With your lover or mate, 

Your child and friend, 

With God and self. 

 

Intimacy is about the revealing of your deepest self. 

It is about taking down all the barriers and being seen. 

Intimacy has no boundaries. 

Not physical nor space. 

And that is the challenge of the human mind. 

We resist the inability to control. 

We fear what we have no say in. 

And so we turn our backs on the beauty of what we crave. 

We hide and complain, 

We fight for the limitations of it and we disregard the fact that it us that is setting up the walls to this beautiful energetic connection. 

It is our eyes that are blinded by fear. 

Hidden from our sight by ego. 

We can not recognize under the veils that we cover ourselves with the falsities of fear.

 

And so it remains elusive. 

And we sit in our inner chaos, 

desiring what we believe it is, 

Wanting always for more. 

And never satisfied. 

Always lost and empty to some degree in the relationship of life. 

With our lovers, ourselves and God.

 

But it is time my love. 

It is time to let go and exhale. 

That is where you will catch me at. 

That is the space that I choose to surrender into and meet you there. 

 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” Rumi.

 

Yes here. 

 

Here my love. 

Here is where you will find me, 

Witnessing self and life. 

Exhaling into intimacy. 

Into you. 

Into me. 

Into life. 

 

Will you catch me in the exhale?

 

Breath.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.

It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs. 

It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life, 

Now and forever more. 

 

Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.

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Peeing Yourself Ain’t Spiritual.

HAVE YOU EVER FARTED AND PEED YOURSELF?

 

I have.

 

 

For those out there who cannot believe that I just shared that…

oh well.

That’s me.

Being authentic and true to the message that I feel needs to be shared in any given moment.

 

No matter what others’ perceptions are of me.

Now that’s not to say that the judgements and criticisms that get cast my way do not sting from time to time and sometimes make me question, ” Is that true?”

 

But I can assure you that 99.9% of the time my intent is to live and be authentically true.

 

So back to this farting and peeing thang that I started off today with. To be clear I did not actually pee myself. I was going to the bathroom when I farted really big and it forced me to pee some.

My initial thoughts were, ” I am so glad that I was not driving.”

Then I was like damn I need to get back on my yoni egg practice, then I thought no girl, you yoni egg faithfully and have great control, you were just not being as present and were very relaxed and so that’s what caused that.

 

No matter why it happened, what ended up coming from it was the idea that I should share this funny blurp because no one in my influence space would most likely share such a thing.

 

It’s too personal.

It’s too TMI.

It’s not professional.

It’s not spiritual.

 

And that last one is why I chose that I must share.

Over and over again I hear what is deemed spiritual and what is not spiritual. And I just roll my MF eyeballs back in my head at all the judgement that so many so called spiritual leaders have around being spiritual.

 

It seems that there are these things on a spiritual list somewhere that you must do/be/act like in order to obtain true spiritual enlightenment like the master teachers did.

 

Among them is to:

*always speak softly with limited expression

*to not be too sexual and for sure do not speak about it

*to make known that you have read a library full of literature and have a cabinet full of certifications and understand ALL the technical terms of any spiritual manual

*to dance uninhibited tossing your body about however you feel fit

*to be vegan or at least vegetarian

*to have massive crystals everywhere and adorn yourself with as many of them as you can at any one moment

*to be broke or at least struggling, because money is not spiritual

*to act a martyr and strangely be okay with it

*to wear “hippie” clothing

*to make little of the physical body, do not be unhappy with any body part and God forbid that you think of surgically doing something to that body part

*to be el naturel

*to make exaggerated use of words from “spiritual texts” and other languages

*to refer to a sexual partner as beloved or my divine

*to make clear that we are all gods and goddesses and the creator is the divine

*oh yeah and to judge anyone who is actually just fucking being human and has come to terms with self and witness life from a perspecitive that we are all here to live, learn and expand no matter our beliefs or backgrounds, our desires or challeneges, and those who just speak up and say real shit…. let’s judge them hard core cuz that aint spiritual

*And one more item, spiritually evolved people make a lot of use of the words spiritual bypassing and point fingers to all who are doing it EXCEPT self because they are too enlightened to be human and do that, also they would never make socially ill statements.

 

Yes these and many more are on the must do/be/act like list for REAL SPIRITUAL FOLK.

 

Well, some of that shit is me and some is not,

as you know.

 

The point however to today’s post is that WE ARE ALL SPIRITUAL BEINGS.

 

We are all here having a spiritual experience whether you recognize it as such or not.

 

And the reality is that EVERYTHING is energy.

Including money.

 

Matter of fact money is one of the most spiritual things that we have. It shows us EXACTLY just how aligned to the universal flow of things we actually are.

 

So to all those beautiful spiritual peep’s out there who claim that they are showing off just how aligned and how much understanding they have because they are broke AF,

well all I can say is that you my dear have not figured it out.

 

As a spiritual people,  it is among our mission of the soul to learn our worthiness and value ourselves so much so that we truly know that we are the creators of this world and our lives. That life is reacting to us.

 

And it is our ability or inability to receive the abundance that we all have through the multitude of desires that we are storing up in the heavens to manifest into this experience that shows just how much we actually value and love ourselves.

 

Recently I was speaking with a beautiful woman who is in the spiritual healing field.  She came to me asking for guidance as to how she could quit her full time corporate job and actually make a living doing what her passion was.

 

I asked her if she was marketing her services?

How much she charged?

And a few other items.

 

She responded with,

” I have been working with people for years off and on and they refer people to me. I love what I do so it’s hard to charge a fee. “

 

So again I asked,

“So what do you charge?”

 

She responded.

” I just ask for a love offering.”

 

OMFG! That’s another thing on the must be/do/act list of spiritual people……

 

You must accept love offerings.

 

Please someone shoot me now.

Doesn’t it sound so romantic and spiritual,

good hearted and not needy at all to say “love offering”?

It just sounds like you have more than enough with plenty left over.

You are entrusting the universe to dictate your worth and the universe always takes care of you. 

At least this is the perception that you are trying to put out there,

but when you don’t have your electric bill money let’s see if they will take a MF love offering.

 

After all energy is spiritual, right?

 

End result here is that I told this woman that she was not loving herself or her passion.

 

I shared with her that if she really valued and found worth in her abilities and passion that she would be more than happy to ask for what it was worth and put a price on it.

 

Instead her choice of asking for a love offering sent out the vibration of,

 

“Please pay me something decent because my power bill is due in three days and I do not have it.”

 

You can put forth whatever action,

speak with whatever softness that you feel correct,

dance carefree all damn day,

eat all the vegan meals and recycle your heart out,

study under the greatest of current teachers,

and claim that you have no shadow side, no ego.

 

But the truth my dear is still the same.

All that hiding that you are doing from being human,

it is just that,

hiding.

and your true spiritual path is to learn to love your human expression.

Sometimes that means that you end up coloring your hair,

having fake nails, eyelashes and boobs.

Sometimes you are all crunchy and choose to not shave or bath.

But no matter what your human expression is,

when you are in alignment you are open to receiving in your life the abundance that is here for you.

 

You are open to compliments.

You are open to love.

You are open to your anger and your fear.

You are open to making money, good money.

You are open to sex and orgasm.

 

And you want to enjoy it all because it feels good and it feeds your soul. It supports your powerful self, and you can see how your thoughts and your feelings are manifesting right before your eyes because you, you my dear love yourself.

 

You love your human expression.

And you get…

 

THAT WE ARE ALL SPIRITUAL BEINGS LIVING A SPIRITUAL PATH.

 

And if you are not living from THIS truth,

then I ask you one thing….

 

“How is your lack of receiving showing any respect or value to your passion?”

 

Would you want to work, get healing or learn from someone who does not value their skills, connection/alignment or thier practice enough to charge for it?

 

Would you feel that they are the best or even good?

 

If you were having a baby,

Would you want to go to the doctor that charged you what they are worth for help and care or would you rather just take this bloke over here who says that he is a doctor that you can trust with your life and childs but will do it for a love offering?

 

Who are you more likely to trust?

 

TO ALL MY SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENED PEEPS OUT THERE,

THIS WORLD NEEDS YOU TO VALUE YOURSELF AND CHARGE WHAT YOU ARE WORTH.

 

Now more than ever.

You need to know your worth and let others know it as well.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown *A*s Believers”

 

Want more spiritual abundance insights and perhaps a blueprint to getting you synced up to knowing your worth. Message me for my Month of Asskickery Global Coaching where we will go 1:1 for four sessions and break down the things that keep holding you back as well as create new pathways to your dreams. Because you are worthy!

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The Story You Need To Tell Yourself Daily.

I am worthy!

The story of today that I choose to focus on and expand in.

 

I am worthy!

It often feels like a lie to write those words and there is resistance in my claiming of them.

 

I am worthy!

At writing them my gut turns over,

I feel butterflies and my heart feels constricted.

 

I am worthy!

I can hear the yelling in my head that it is not so.

Who am I to try and claim such nonsense.

 

I am worthy!

My eyes tear up as I write the statement more and more.

I feel the emotion attached.

 

I am worthy!

Breathing deep, allowing my chest to expand,

my heart says allow,

my mind screams in opposition.

 

I am worthy!

The struggle is real.

And I am at war within myself.

It’s crazy to listen to the clambering of my negativity.

 

I am worthy!

The seed has been planted.

Its taking root,

perhaps a sprout will appear.

There is hope.

 

I am worthy!

Anxiety in the possibility.

I can feel a tug at my core pulling me to something.

Something I want to label the truth,

but scares me still.

 

I am worthy!

I breathe deep again.

Feeling my body rise and fall.

The tears are there,

but now I feel a gentle comfort as though I am being held by something I cannot see.

 

I am worthy!

I want to be.

And so we have the breaking of the soil and a sprout.

 

I am worthy!

Looking around,

I see my material world,

my home that I love and maintain with ease,

my car that I am grateful for,

a house full of comforts, luxuries and food.

All that seems stable,

and constant in my life experience.

I do not struggle.

I move with ease.

Life always is providing for me.

There is proof around every corner.

 

I am worthy!

Perhaps I already know it is true?

Perhaps, I have known forever even.

Perhaps under all the chaos and noise of outside influences,

of fear and judgement,

there is a knowing.

Can it be true?

 

I am worthy!

Of course I am.

Just look and feel.

Breathe deeper and let the body speak,

move past the reservation,

the constriction,

and feel the heart.

The soul.

There is a budding there.

There is truth.

God does not give to us a desire that cannot be.

And what we desire is already granted,

we must just believe to receive.

 

I am worthy!

And so are you.

 

Say it with me this morning…..

 

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

I AM WORTHY!

 

YES YOU ARE.

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

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Vehicular Assault In The Bedroom – Is It Acceptable?

A man is out with his buddies after a long day at the office. They stop into a local pub to have a drink or two and shoot the shit. A few hours go by, they root for the sports team, throw about some “F” bombs, share about the days and the stupid people at work. The man starts to feel tired so decides it’s time to head home to his family.
On his drive home he gets more exhausted and his eyes are heavy. The couple of drinks although they don’t significant impact him are not making things any better right now.
He comes up to an intersection and does not slow down in time, thinking there is not really traffic at this hour and is not overly concerned about running a stop sign in his quiet neighborhood.
Unfortunately, as he roles through the stop sign he hits a pedestrian.
He did not see this person out walking and somehow completely missed their presence on the curb as they stepped off the curb to cross the road.
The man is later charged with vehicular assault. He has his driver’s license taken from him, serves time in jail and pays a hefty fine. He has this mark on his record for some time to come.
Is this right?
Does he deserve to have his whole life tipped upside down over an accident. He was not drunk. He was not speeding. He was not deliberately trying to harm another human.
Yet his life is upside down from this event.
Seriously now, ponder this.
Does he deserve to be punished as the law states?
If he had killed this pedestrian his punishment would have been worse.
Now if you are like most people,
you may say,
“Yes he deserves the punishment.”
–>He was being clumsy and not responsible in his actions.
–>He should have not had as much to drink as he did, stopped sooner, ate some food to offset his alcohol.
–>He should have just gone home in the first place since he was tired.
–>He knew his state of being and should have worked harder at being more present while driving.
–>He knew the streets in his neighborhood well, he knew that the stop sign was there, so he should have stopped.
–> Etc. Etc.
You may also think it brutal that his whole world get’s halted and goes into chaos from the accident, thinking that may be a little harsh BUT, it was ultimately his fault. His mistake and look at what he did to the pedestrian and their life? Can they function fully? Do they need surgery? What came of their life?
Now let’s look at the this same man,
same tail,
He is out to the pub with his buddies, he gets tired and he decides to go home to his loving family. He goes home with no issues. His children greet him on their way to bed, his wife has saved him dinner in the microwave and kisses him hello.
She inquires about his day and he says it was okay, just a bunch of stupid people to deal with as usual.
They settle into watching a TV show and news.
All seems happy and normal.
They go to bed and the man snuggles up behind his wife rubbing her hip and butt a little. He kisses her softly on the neck a couple times. He slips his hand down between her legs from behind to touch her pussy. Tapps it softly with his fingers. Brings his hand back up, spits in his hand and rubs his spit on her vulva that is exposed from this position. He is hard and ready, she is laying on her side holding her breath. She knows what is coming and even though she does not want it, she says nothing. Hoping that maybe he won’t. Maybe he will see that she is not interested.
He rubs the spit around a bit more, grabs his erection and without word sticks it into her. He is on his knees, holding her hip down to hold her on her side. He is forceful, fast and deep in his penetration. He is moaning in pleasure and giving primal earthy groans as he fucks her. She does not move. He continues until he cums.
He lays down behind her, kisses her on the cheek and says,
” I love you. Good night.”
She stays still as he drifts off to sleep and starts to snore.
When he is snoring, she gets up and goes to the bathroom.
His cum is dripping out of her.
She sits to pee.
As she pee’s her vulva and labia burn from the friction of the sex that her body was not ready for.
Her gut hurts from the anxiety and pain of going through this.
And tears stream down her cheeks as she softly sobbs, hoping no one will hear her, hoping that she can just make it through the night and next day.
The morning comes,
the sun rises.
her husband is rested and ready for his work day.
He grabs coffee and breakfast,
kisses the kids and her goodbye,
wishes them all a good day and tells her that he loves her.
She gets the kids ready and out the door for school,
darts to the shower where she washes herself diligently because she feels so filthy and disgusting. She weeps as the whole event and every event before it no matter from her husband or another man plays in her head like some morbid cruel reality show. She gets out of the shower, telling herself its time to put the game face on. She has a family that needs her and work to get done. No time for this pity party and after all he is her husband and he is a man and it just is the way it is. After all, he loves her. He is a good provider, a good father.
She has nothing to want for.
But she wants.
She wants for the pain to go away.
She wants to feel loved, not used.
She wants to not feel the anxiety around going to bed every night or waking up in the morning to the same event.
She wants for him to see that what he is doing is not okay.
That her world internally is upside down and she is slowly falling apart.
–>Her work life is stressful.
–>She cannot stay focused.
–>Her physical body is always sick and hurting.
–>Her hormones are out of balance.
–>She is exhausted physically and emotionally.
–>She is irritable.
–>She cries for what seems like no reason randomly.
–>She has no real interest in life.
–>She appears to be depressed.
–>She gained a bunch of weight.
–>She is drinking more and popping pills to sleep, to wake up, to keep her going and keep her mood somewhat stabilized.
Now I want you to ponder this scenario.
What comes up for you?
Is this acceptable?
Is it okay that her world is upside down and that she is living in this state?
Is it ok that her husband just continues on like this?
I mean after all,
–> He had a tough day at the office.
–> He was tired and most likely just did not realize what he was doing.
–> He had a few drinks so he was not fully aware and did not catch that she was not into it.
–>If she was into it she would have said something or pushed him away, right? So its her fault.
–>He needed the release to help him sleep, to help him destress.
–>Men need sex more than women.
–>Most women are never into it and are none orgasmic unless drunk so this is normal.
–> She just needs to get over it, its not that big of a deal, its just a little sex.
–> He does everything for her, there is no question of his love.
–>Its not like he physically broke her or tried to kill her. He did not hit her with a car.
–> His actions were not on purpose. His intent was not to harm, he thought she was okay with it.
So that makes his actions of flipping her life upside down acceptable?
But if he hits a pedestrian then he should have been more present,
he should have paid more attention and known where he was at and what the dangers were.
He hit a pedestrian and now they cannot function clearly, they are in pain, they are emotionally messed up, their home and work life are in shambles.
So for that yes, he needs to be punished for harming another human even though it was not on purpose.
Really?
I want you today to sit with these tales.
I want you to go deep inside yourself and ask yourself why one is okay and the other is not?
I want you to ask yourself why excuses and lack of understanding and presence should be easily forgiven or not even considered when we speak about raping a partner but it is different for other events?
And then I want you to realize that 74% of married/coupled women go through this weekly or monthly.
And if you are a man who is married or coupled with a woman I want you to examine your choices and get real.
Stop accepting excuses from self and others.
The damage caused from moments like this is not small and most of the time cannot be  repaired fully. This sort of event tears apart the foundations of love and trust.
And if you think differently then you are a fool.
It’s time to wake up men.
It’s time to stop being blind to your haphazard self centered ways and its time to actually love your woman.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers.”
Want to learn more on healing relationships in 2020 and how to uncomplicate your couplehood. Reach out to me for deet’s on my individual and couples coaching available globally.
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Your F-ck Yes Life Depends on Your Flexibility and Willingness to Lean Into Your Edge.

I am going to be a guest on The Union – Real Talk About Personal Growth next week (January 14th). It’s been two years since my last appearance on the show and so much has changed in the course of that time.
 
This morning I finally got a moment to sit down and review some of the questions that was posted for us guests to reflect on.
 
I found myself in so much gratitude for the inquiry that was being offered as it allowed me to dig into this moment in time and where I am at, what I am currently being challeneged with.
 
The question that touched me at a deeper level than others asked was,
 
“What edge are you leaning into?”
 
I ask this question of my inner circle peep’s often, but sometimes admittedly, I forget to stop and inquire with myself on this topic.
 
Leaning into our edge is where we grow.
It’s where we expand ourselves.
It’s where we meet our soul.
And feel our heart.
 
Leaning into our edge in any area of our lives is what we all hunger for,
and typically feel this call to do just this around the turn of the new year.
 
It’s why we make the proclomations and affirmations that we do.
 
We set our intent with the DESIRE to lean into our edge and expand ourselves because we understand that without the leaning into our edge,
we can never have the life that calls to us.
 
But that edge is scary as F-ck!
Is it not?
 
It sounds so easy often to make changes,
we have this burning desire,
we have expereinced the consequences of where our current actions have gotten us and how it makes us feel,
the life path that we are currently on based on our ideas, views, beliefs and actions of yesterday,
and often we are not happy with where we are at or who we are in this moment.
 
We know that we are so much more.
And that this life of ours has so much more to give us.
 
So we hunger for change.
We desire personal development.
We crave healing.
 
And at our core,
at our core we get that the US of today cannot remain if we are to have the US of tomorrow that we want so badly for.
 
And so we lean.
Scared out of our minds,
our hearts race,
our tummies churn with anxiety.
We cautiously or hastely step forward hoping that we survive the ledge that we are on.
 
We fear falling.
We fear loosing.
We fear getting it wrong.
We fear not being accepted in our new skin.
We fear so much and it feels like we could die.
 
Many people in this leaning in back down from the ledge.
They slow their roll and get off the raggedy edge that shakes their internal cage of normalcy.
 
They step back into comfort.
Supported by excuses and good reasons as to why it’s just not time yet to make these changes.
 
Others, step a forward and pray that they survive.
Thinking to themselves that they can do it,
but doubting every step and looking at the potential risks with a passionate focus,
causing themselves to focus on the pain of change and development instead of bringing their attention to the beauty of the birth of themselves.
The raggedy edge shakes them,
and spins them until they are dizzy and exhausted.
Trying to hold onto the wheel of life they try to maintain course and control the outcome,
and then one day say,
“It’s not working!”
and lean back into the comfort of what they have always known.
 
And then there are others,
these others are CERTAIN of their SOUL guidance.
They are confident that the path is perfect and always leading them to a greater version of themselves.
Teaching them about the ebb and flow of life and how constriction leads to expansion.
They feel into all levels of emotion that rise from their own awakening into themselves and even though they may need to pause on the path to catch their breath,
they NEVER stop or turn back.
 
Pushing forward,
leaning further.
 
Allowing life to teach them the power of flexibility.
 
This is what today I came up with while jotting down my answers to the inquiries asked of me for next weeks show.
 
My realization is that this last decade,
and especially the last two or three years has shown me with great intensity the imporatnce of flexibility.
Of not getting caught up on anything and becoming ridgit to how I wish for anything to manifest or develop,
but instead to just breathe in the beauty of the transformation with certainty that it is moving me to my highest and best.
 
I bring this inquiry to you today as well.
And I ask you to really sit with the question,
 
“What edge are you leaning into?”
 
And if you have no edge,
then ask why no edge?
What am I fearing from leaning in?
And how is this serving me to be the person that I know that I can be and to have the life that I want so badly for?
 
Your power will be birthed from your flexibility in your mind and thoughts, your heart and emotions, your physical body and how you choose to move in it.
 
Lean with faith.
God/Universe has your back.
Trust in that calling you feel.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
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We Are Meant To Live In The Magnitude of Awe-ness…

Travel, its something I love.
And if you follow me then you already know this.
But you may not know why I adore travel so much.
 
I love travel because of the growth it gives me.
Travel expands my thinking,
my understanding of self,
of others,
of life.
 
Travel opens me up to knew ways of viewing the world.
My world and the world around me.
 
Travel is healing to the soul.
 
Last night we were laying out under the stars on the beach here in Riviera Maya,
little crabs crawling across the sand,
the waters sloshing up against the shore line,
and a sky so full of stars.
We laid there in silence for some time,
just witnessing the magistracy of the sky.
So vast.
So impressive.
Every now and then a shooting star would stream across,
and my inner child would make her wish.
 
There we lay with the breeze of the warm summer night against our bodies.
 
So small against the immense sky above,
and yet I felt powerful.
There I laid feeling the magnitude of the creator moving through me in that moment.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
This morning we were up and back to the beach,
snorkeling gear in hand and off to the small coves that lined the shore.
 
Out into the turquoise waters we swam,
following colorful fish of all sizes,
and then upon the reef line we floated,
just watching the wonders below.
Again, the magnitude of this space.
A whole world around us.
Immense, powerful and full of life.
As the waves crashed upon my back every so often,
as I swam across the reef,
watching the sea creatures,
the fish flock and flurry,
I felt so small,
so unimportant.
 
And yet I was deeply aware of the power I was holding inside myself.
I could again feel the magnitude of all of life,
of the creator move through me.
Wash around me,
and make itself known.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
No matter where I have traveled in our beautiful world,
I found a people to love.
I have found beauty in their smile’s,
in the meeting of another’s eye.
I have found compassion in the witnessing of life somewhere foreign.
I have found peace and joy in bonds that make us all human.
I have seen so many a beautiful people,
embrace me as I travel,
and I am in gratitude for them and for these experiences.
 
And I feel small,
unimportant,
I feel like how could I ever make any ripple worth anything.
And then the words of a stranger come upon me,
and I smile.
I feel the message of God.
The message that we are all human.
We are all family.
And just my witnessing and embracing of this,
is a ripple.
The connection experienced with this people,
with just this one soul,
it changes us.
It expands us.
And we grow.
 
I feel the love of the creator move through me in moments like this.
I feel the compassion,
the adoration and gratitude.
I feel the bonds of being human.
And I smile.
 
I am in Awe.
 
This is why I love travel.
 
In the arms of my lover I smile,
laughing and enjoying the moments.
Allowing the energy of life to move about us.
Yes, here too is a reason to love travel.
For all the magnitude of this world,
of the skies and seas,
for all the diversity of its people,
here too,
just between him and I is a world to be discovered.
And in moments such as these,
as we travel,
we reveal knew aspects of ourselves.
We drop our guards just a bit,
we allow a softening of our hearts,
and opening of the connection.
And here with no one else to interfere,
we explore.
 
We travel perhaps not to some strange land,
but still we explore.
The land that resides within each of us.
The land here that is revealed.
 
Laughter.
Connection.
Conversation.
Touching.
and
Experiencing this world.
 
And as our eye’s meet,
as a smile crosses each of our lips,
we too are forever changed because of this moment.
Because of this travel.
Expanded.
 
And I am in Awe.
 
So many people say no to travel.
They refuse to venture out into the world,
they keep themselves closed to the adventure known as life.
They keep them shut away from the people of this earth,
out of fear they remain hidden,
and in their fear of the adventure,
of the people,
they also show the fear in their hearts.
They choose to remain closed.
They choose to remain small.
Never feeling the true magnitude of this life.
The true bounty of this earth or the vastness of God.
 
This life was meant for the taking.
The taking of the adventure.
the communion of the people.
This life was meant for the Awe.
 
And here,
here is where you will discover just how powerful you really are,
but first you must want for it.
First you must crave the Awe.
The power.
It is there.
In your heart,
in your soul,
in the people of this earth.
 
Dare to travel and you will see.
You will meet the creator in every step of your journey.
And you will be in Awe.
 
As yourself,
“If not now, when?”
 
Life is too short to stall.
 
As Always,
“Stop Existing & Start Living”
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Expand your life,
expand your thinking.
Expand your heart.
 
As you open you grow.
And here is where you meet your power,
and your joy.
 
Take my hand and let’s go.
Explore 1:1 Coaching with me from anywhere in the world.
Message me for deet’s on how to level up your life adventure TODAY.
Posted on

On This Ledge I Found Who I Was.

Stepping out on a ledge I found myself.
Sitting on the edge of everything I thought I knew,
but discovered was wrong.
Not true to who I really am or ever was.
Breathing deep into my flesh,
lost in this world of who I thought I was to be,
only to turn a corner as I fall into who I am.

Yes there,
there on this ledge,
this space where there is no room to move.
I found whom I was.
But it was not like this just yesterday.
Yesterday I was still lost in my shame,
I was lost in my judgments and fears of what others expectations were,
I knew not of who I was,
but only of whom I was to be,
for them.

And today,
as I stepped out on this ledge,
I met my truth.
I met my soul,
and I was blessed,
as if overcome by sweet raptures from deep within,
these messages from somewhere out there,
that space that we might perceive to be heaven,
but none know certain of what it is.
Yes, from this space emerged my truth.
It has always been here.

God, has been whispering my name,
whispering to me all that I am to be.
Calling out of my soul,
the music that must be set free.
Yes here on this ledge,
God has spoken.
And I have finally listened.
Not run.
As before,
when I went into hiding,
my soul screaming as I ran.
But today,
today I chose differently.
Today I chose to open my body,
my mind, and my heart.
I chose to be embraced by something more than self could ever realize.

Today I was awakened.
On this ledge as I over looked the woods that stood before me,
I saw not all that blocked my sight,
but instead saw the beauty.
The beauty of all that had been given.
The opportunities that asked to be taken.
The breaths that begged to be breathed,
deep into my soul,
and exhaled into the world.

Yes this ledge.
It has been a pivotal point upon my journey.
As I lean out and breath deep,
I know that it is time,
it is time that I set my shame free,
I set loose all those fears,
and instead turn and step forward as God has been asking.
To not walk another day,
in this misery,
to not remain allowing of such suffering,
but to step,
step forward into his guidance,
and command with certainty all that I am blessed with.
These blessings,
these blessings from somewhere out there.

Cascading down,
over my flesh,
onto my path,
these blessings.
They may only be held,
only retrieved,
when shame,
when judgement and fear,
expectations and doubt,
no longer rule this path that I was walking.
But instead,
looking out over this ledge,
I open my whole body,
I open my whole soul,
and ask to be penetrated deeply,
with faith,
with love,
the deep penetration of spirit.
Yes, embrace me now,
once and forever more.
I open myself to the mysteries,
to the calling,
of my SOUL.

————————————————————————–

I share this after a day of orgasmic rush,
after a day that I felt supported, loved and open, ‘but also met my fear, met my shame, and found hesitation on my path.

I realized today, the many blockages that still remain.
I realized today, the fear that I have been dragging around with me.

Today, I met my old self as I stood in the shoes of my new.
And I realized how certain I had become, of whom I am and all I am to be.

Now I share this poetry,
I share my intimacy,
I share myself with you,
like any given day,
but today I share from a place of deeper understanding.
A place that honors the shame,
honors the fear and the doubt,
and thanks it for all the protection that it has given,
but commands it on it way.
Expansion, growth and certainty.
Faith, compassion and love.
These are the things that take its place.
These are the things I ask you to embrace.

And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grow A*s Believers”

Enjoying all that I share.
Enjoying my provocative thoughts, teaching and concepts?
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embrace the ledge that you may feel you are on,
learn how to step away from your shame,
your fear and all the expectations of this world?
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Posted on

Life Lives Through Us For No Other Reason Than This.

“Emotion rising up,
I can feel it strong in my chest.
Tears want to stream from my eye’s
and escape down my cheeks.
My heart is beating just a bit faster than before.
I am nervous,
I am excited,
I am feeling out of control of the situation.
I can do nothing to help truly,
but be arms to support
and words to hopefully lighten your heart.
Your fear.
My sweet,
I love you so dearly.
And all I can do is tell you this.”
 
It is moments such as this,
that I find myself being reminded of how powerful life is,
how it grabs hold of us and let’s us know it’s hunger.
It hungers for our depth.
It hungers for our passion.
It wants us to claim the moment.
To be present
and attentive.
 
This is where life LIVES.
 
These moments,
fleeting and yet lingering,
as they happen to each and every one of us.
We dance in and out of fear.
Even in the most beautiful space that we might find ourselves,
even in the moments when all that we have worked for
finally seem’s to be manifesting,
fear comes in.
It bares itself to us and makes us aware of how small we are.
How timeless each moment is,
how delicate each breath can be.
Our teacher.
Our conqueror,
it is there by our side.
A friend and foe.
 
And what must we do to escape it’s grip?
There is only one thing,
in any moment that must happen for us to awaken to our truth and lean out of the hold of fear in our life.
 
We must,
with certainty,
and no doubt,
we must feel deeply and know who we are.
For at our core,
at our deep soul level is where we discover all.
It is here in these caverns of our true self that we find all the armor that we need,
which is not armor at all,
but instead a revealing.
An allowing of our true divine selves to be unmasked and revealed, in true raw authenticity and truth.
 
Yes here,
here is where we rule.
Here is where we find our strength.
In all moments in life,
we are meant to expand,
we were born to breathe,
and to feel life living through us.
Only in our unmasking,
and accepting of our depth and truth,
can we do this and conquer fear.
 
But to step firmly into living a life on purpose,
one must consistently be getting ready,
to be ready.
 
And what does this mean?
 
To BREATHE.
To do the mindset work,
to consistently challenge ourselves to be all of who we are.
Not side stepping our truth,
not hiding from our feelings,
not masking our light.
 
No we might have been born to run,
but not to run away from life.
Only to run into its arms,
to have it wash over us,
and through us in each moment of our experience.
From our first breaths to our last,
life is here to cradle us and move through us.
Our only mission is to be it’s vessel in it’s eternal quest to feel what it cannot without us.
 
Yes,
moments such as the one that is breathing through me right now are what expands our potential,
opens our hearts,
teaches us our strength,
and reveals our soul.
 
Moments are all that we ever have.
And each moment is a footstep on our souls journey.
The end will be the arrival back to it’s beginning.
Full and complete.
Expanded into more.
Life living through us,
for no reason other than to feel.
 
And here my love,
is what you must remember,
the desire you feel in your heart,
deep down into your bones,
the passion,
the fear,
the certainty,
the courage,
the vastness and the tightening,
it is all your soul,
begging you to become your truth.
And just FEEL.
Allow yourself to FEEL GOOD NOW,
as your soul desires,
where all your dreams can be realized.
 

As always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 
Want to learn how you to can activate a life on purpose?
To live your calling, that deep soul mission.
Where life is magical and your dreams are being realized.
 
Let me take your hand beautiful and show you the steps to reveal that F-ck Yes! Lifestyle NOW.
 
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Posted on

Shaky Knee’s & Stairs

Shaky Knee’s and Stairs.

These two things do not get along well.
And yest they are a match made in heaven.

Looking down from the second floor stairs,
Looking at that first step,
feeling my knee’s tremble at the core.
The energy pulsing from my core.
The cool night breeze, brushing up against my cheek as I took a deep breath in.
My lover behind me.

My knee’s.
My knee’s, shaking from the hours upon hours of pleasure.
Quivering from the core.
My core.

There is this fullness,
This feeling of alignment,
yet fear still resides here.
I can feel it being shaken loose.

That first step,
seeming so far away.
The uncertain feeling of can I make it?
The knowing that it is one of many to follow.

I am tired.
I am so tired.
I am turned on .
So turned on.
I want more.
So much more.

But FIRST, 
that step.

That first step.
Why is it so hard to land that first step.
To find the courage to JUST TAKE IT.

It’s fear.
It’s uncertainty.
It’s lack of faith.
It’s lack of belief in my worthiness.

and

YET, I KNOW that I can land it.
There is this knowing that is deeper than the fear.

This knowing that wants to be known.
It wants to be REMEMBERED.

It is there begging for my attention.
Begging for me to STOP existing in the shadows of what I can be.

It is that quiet voice that is getting loud as the day’s pass.
Saying, “YES YOU CAN.”

But these knee’s…
These shaky knee’s.

They tremble at all that could happen.
They resist the wonders that could be born from the pleasure of saying YES to myself.
They resist the DESIRE that wants to JUST LET GO.
They tremble in fear that something may happen to this me that I know, as the me that I am to be EMERGES.

You would think that hours of pleasure would grant me the confidence to just land the step.
You would think that hours of embracing what I wanted, would give me the faith that I could take the step and KNOW I have it.
You would think that the surrender to success, the depth of orgasmic bliss that I said YES to would show me that this world is for the taking, it is for the embracing and it supports our TRUTH when we lean in, let go and get in flow.

But every moment, I have come to learn is a new moment.
And every moment carries hope and doubt.

It is up to me in this moment to DECIDE, 
To CLAIM what I want to do with it.

It is up to me, and only me to TAKE THE STEP.

Will I let these shaky knee’s lock me up in fear?
Or will I let these shaky knee’s rattle out that fear as I step forward in FAITH?

Yes there are many steps before me.
There is risk,
But my lover is behind me.
His love carries me.

The step’s are suddenly not so steep.
The breeze, it brushes up against my cheek like a lover itself whispering his intentions in my ear.
The night sky, filled with his glory.
Like a lover filling me with his essence in climax.
There is a owl in the distance,
I hear it’s call of the night.
As if to say, “Listen to your soul, my child.”

And so I shall!
I shall LISTEN.
I shall TAKE THE STEP.
In FAITH.
In CERTAINTY.

Here is my courage.
Here is my guidance.
Here, here in this moment of leaving my lovers embrace, I open to true surrender. True guidance.
My angels are around me.

It is TIME.

Step.
Step.
Step.

Ahhhhhhhh…….
The feeling of saying YES, to one’s truth.
It is FREEDOM.

It is bliss.
It is the F*ck YES! Life.

Will you say YES?

And remember, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.