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YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

YOU LOVE HER POWER BUT YOU FEAR IT AS WELL.

 

The wild woman.

The seductress.

The lover.

Her beauty and mystery,

something that you desire to taste more of.

The way she moves,

the curl of her lips as she speaks.

You watch her every move wanting more.

She is free and open,

she laughs and plays as though she has an innocent heart,

but the fire in her eyes reveals a woman who knows herself,

a woman who was born to lead and command great army’s if need be.

You feel her power by just standing in her presence.

You feel her hunger when you come near.

She is wild and crazy,

she is untamable and unfiltered,

She is coy, collected and breathless.

 

And you want her.

You want to experience her touch,

her kiss, the smell of her soft skin.

You want to hold her gently as well passionately.

She tests your manliness,

she toys with your thoughts and energy.

She is deliberate.

And you know this.

But you want more.

 

Believing that you can hold her.

Believing that you can carry her.

Believing that you want nothing more than her radiant light to expand through all the heavens,

you cannot imagine a world without her beaming beauty and strength,

and yet you fear it.

 

Deep inside your being there is terror.

It is unsettling and true.

You do not feel worthy of her,

you question if you are strong enough.

She rattles your inner most cages and shakes you to your soul,

can you conquer this greatness of the wild woman,

and do you even truly want to?

 

Will she let you penetrate her soul?

Or will you just be among the many who have tried and only fell by entering her body?

 

You want to be the one.

You desire her so.

You want to be the one that takes her breath away,

the way she does yours.

 

And so you try….

you stand firm in her fires,

you open yourself to utter destruction.

You know that you love her,

and feel confident if just for this moment in time that you can hold strong and breathe her in and hold her.

But the wilderness of the wild woman’s soul is not to be captured nor contained by any.

She was born free and free she must remain.

She is a goddess,

she is a witch,

she is a siren,

and a Queen.

She knows her power and will allow for it only to be pushed down for so long,

and then you will feel her rise once again and claim her rightful throne,

and under her foot will fall many.

All those who wanted to own her,

to conquer and control.

These are the boys who thought they were men.

These are the men who thought they were kings.

But they shunned her light as they spoke sweet words of love.

They harnessed her joy as they held her tight in their insecurities.

They jailed her passion, her sensualness and power with their jealousy and fear.

And she allowed them.

She let them rule her for a time,

in hope that she could be happy.

Here in the misery of her weakened state,

her shadow.

 

She is a wild woman.

And in her beauty you will be lost,

you will desire and crave,

you will want for her light to never dim,

but will you be like all the rest who have fallen?

Claiming her as your own.

Trapping her power.

Wanting it all for yourself.

As if it were something that you could take or understand.

 

Far from average she is.

She was never meant to be tamed.

There is no domesticating a wild woman,

you would be wiser to destroy the most beautiful of stain glass windows, then to try.

If you love her let her remain free.

In spirit.

In power.

In love.

Watch her dance for you as she will.

She will make you laugh and feel full in her intoxicating ways.

Let her move you as only the wild can.

But never,  never hold on too tight.

Or know that her light may be put out with your hand.

 

Delicate and strong,

the wilderness will always call her.

She is a wild woman,

and you are but a man.

 

————————————————————————–

To all my beautiful wild women out there.

You know who you are. 🙂

My sisters you are deserving of kings,

enjoy all the men that you want,

but never settle for a throne that is not yours.

 

Hold your power and joy before you.

Feel into your hearts and pussies for answers,

ignore the trumpting judgments of those who do not see your truth and radiance,

they are blinded by the shadows of their own fear.

 

You are a wild woman and always will remain.

Open yourself to the universe,

open yourself once again to the gift of receiving.

It is here in your womb that you know your truth.

Listen with your heart of the wild.

 

Now run forward my fellow Queen.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

What are you waiting for my love?

Let’s get you your power back.

October Asskickery Month is upon us almost and you are not signed up for 4 powerful asskickery sessions with me, where you get to take back the life that you have always desired.

 

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PHOTO CREDIT @DANDELION iMAGES

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“I love You. Just As You Are.”

 

Bob Marley once said:

“You may not be her first,

her last, or her only.

 

She loved before she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

 

She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart.

 

So don’t hurt her,

don’t change her,

don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.

 

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

 

And he was a wise man in his lyrics.

The Jamaican artist who grew up on the concept of One Love,

and to love without fear,

without reservation,

and condition,

spoke the truth in his words about loving a woman,

but his words ring true in general.

 

His words on love are words that we could all gain wisdom from when looking at relationships in general.

 

Can you imagine a world where we spoke our truth.

Where we told our feelings without expectation,

where we related because that is what humans do…

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not based on what you can do for me,

or I for you,

but on the actual feeling of love.

 

Can you imagine a world where love was not captivated and crucified at every upset in the day,

a world where loving each other was normal and not judged or shamed,

can you imagine a world where we each had respect for self,

compassion for self,

love for self,

and thus could freely offer the same to another.

 

Can you imagine a world where saying “I love you” did not bear with it the weight of marriage, commitment of a lifetime, legal documents or looks of concern.

 

Can you imagine being loved just for being you?

 

This is the love that Marley was speaking of.

This is the message that we all need to hear,

 

and this morning as I sit here and am blessed with the words,

 

“I love you.”

 

I feel called to share the importance that they actually hold.

 

I love you is a statement of acceptance.

A statement of respect and care,

 

I love you means that I do not want to control you,

that I appreciate you JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

I love you means that I am not expecting anything in return,

there are no conditions,

there are no rules or obligations,

 

I love you means that I SEE YOU.

 

JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

And when these words are uttered,

they should not hold the reins on our heart,

they should not be spoken in shame or in fear,

but instead be words that frees our soul.

 

I love you means that I love me too.

Because I could not feel this feeling,

pure and authentically,

if you were not mirroring the love that I feel for self.

 

That is what it is a message of.

When we feel deep love for another,

without control or possession of any sort,

without jealousy or fear of losing,

without expectation,

 

we are feeling true love.

 

And true love can only emerge when we feel the same for self.

Others that we feel this radiance for,

ignite the truth of our souls,

allow us to embrace our bigness,

our beauty, and truth.

 

When love is authentic and not based in need,

It is a sign of who we really are.

 

And at our cores,

WE ARE LOVE.

 

We taste it juiciness.

We bathe in its sweetness,

We dance freely in its light,

and we expand within its breath.

 

Without love life is empty.

And with false love,

control masked as such,

we hunger to hold on,

we fear its loss,

we hand over our power to whomever we deem our point of focus,

and lose who we are.

 

To love someone…

 

You may not be the first person to love them,

or the last,

not even the only one.

 

They have loved before,

they will love again,

But if they are loving you now,

What else matters?

 

They are not perfect – you aren’t either,

and the two of you may never have the perfect relationship together, no matter its label,

but if they make you smile and laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto that love and give it the most you have.

 

They may not be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but that love will open you to your life,

that love will offer you something special,

something that you must respect, — your truth.

 

So don’t judge and shame your love,

don’t try and change it,

don’t analyze and

don’t expect more than what is shown.

 

Smile when you are happy,

let your feelings be known, even when mad,

let your words and actions be authentic.

 

Love with your whole being when you receive love,

Know that it is available at any moment,

it is your truth,

there is no such thing as perfect,

but there will always be love,

and it is all that matters.

 

How are you penetrating your life,

this world with your love?

 

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

 

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

 

Join me in a 4 week 1:1 mastermind intensive to learn the 7 keys to creating the life of your dreams no matter the chaos of the world.

 

 

Message me for deet’s now before the special ends on May 3rd, 2020.

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Here Is Why You Are Not Receiving Your Blessings.

 

Blessings are abound my love,

but you refuse to see them.

 

Your life is expanding,

your fortune is growing,

your soul is speaking to you and guiding you with each breath that you take,

but you my love,

ignore and choose to focus on things of past that do not matter.

You choose to pull forth your fears instead of your blessings and desires.

Why my love?

Why do you insist on living a saga instead of a dream?

Why do you choose to suffer and rage,

to fear and struggle instead just simply letting go of all of those things that you were caught up in yesterday and last month or year,

and instead firmly step into what you want and who you truly are?

 

You question and huff why good things happen to everyone else and not to you,

you fixate on life being hard.

And ignore the blessings and abundance,

the quick manifestation,

the miracles that just seem to happen each day,

you ask for help and it is always there,

always showing up for you and never being acknowledged,

yet you say how important gratitude is to you,

you say that you are awakened,

you say that you are doing your best,

you say so much,

but what you are doing much of is fearing life.

 

And that, that you fear will continue to scare you.

You give it reason,

you give it purpose and strength.

You give it life my love.

And no one on this planet can ever help you out of this drama that you so eagerly keep yourself in.

 

The excuses and reasons,

the finger pointing.

The blame and bitterness,

it is nothing more than resistance to your blessings.

To your worthiness and an ignoring of the glory that is all about you.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

But you turn away.

You close your eyes,

just as you may choose to disregard this message and blame the economy,

the government,

the world crisis,

your health or another human.

you may blame your broken heart,

or your upbringing,

but all of that blame,

yes all of it,

is your resistance to your birth right of worthiness and well being.

 

You were not born to struggle.

You were not born to fear.

You were not born to live in such drama and pain.

 

Wellbeing is who you are.

Wellbeing is what life’s all about,

It is the natural flow of our lives as abundance in all things that we love, and bringing us joy are part of the natural tides of our lives.

 

So why do you resist your nature my love?

Why do you desire so to not live the glory that God wants for you and offers each moment?

Why do you keep fighting for your lack?

 

When all you ever need to do is say yes to your blessings.

Yes to you.

yes to everything that is always being offered to best support and love  you now.

 

Get out of your past failures and fears,

step away from the pain and know that you can put it down,

put your attention on what you want.

Bring your heart into alignment with joy.

Into alignment with love.

And let yourself triumph over the fear of yesterday.

 

You are a king.

You are a queen.

You are the creator of your day.

 

Today.

And Always.

 

So say goodbye to reasons and excuses.

Claim your life now,

the way that it has always been intended.

 

Say Yes — To YOU!

 

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

WATCH – You Want THIS But You Can’t Have It. Remember to like and leave a comment. 🙂

 

 

Take advantage right now of a lifetime opportunity to work with me in my intensive 4 week mastermind where you get to work 1:1 with me to learn the keys that I woke up to back in 2009 and changed my whole life outcome with.  Let me guide you through the weeds and to your garden luv, you know that you desire and deserve it. Let’s make it happen. Message me for deet’s

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How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.

How Prince Charming Looses His Charm.
 
Alright gents,
here is a little musing that you need to read if you have a lady love or you ever want to be in a relationship with a woman and keep it sizzeling.
 
Relationships on the front side can be so playful, adventurous, passionate, hot, caring, supportive and can make you feel like the other person “just get’s you.”
 
This is how we start.
In the beginning we are focused on discovery of each other,
we are focused on courting and sharing.
We are facinated by this person that has walked into our lives and we find ourselves being deeply vulnerable and open with them.
 
It’s beautiful.
And we feel like this is love.
 
In fact it is NRE – new relationship energy.
After a period of time however, this NRE starts to dwindle.
It dies down and we start to meet the real person,
which can be nice but it can also shed some light on all that we had not noticed and that we don’t align too as well.
 
On top of that, with the NRE dwindling down so does the sexual chemistry.
 
What was once a hot turned on relationship with ton’s of playful sex and intimacy,
can quickly turn the corner to boring and dull,
effortless friction based sexing.
 
Then unfortunatley,
both parties allow for this to happen,
making excuses along the way for why it is,
 
“Work has been exhuasting.”
“I am just tired all the time.”
“Kids and family.”
“We just can’t find the time to squeeze out anymore.”
 
And with the excuses years pass.
 
As time goes on,
and connective turned on sex becomes less and less of a thing, the bonding chemicals between the couple become depleted. If one partner is still getting orgasm while the other is not (typically this shows up as the man having an orgasm and the woman going months or even years without) then bittnerness and frustration start to form.
 
 
If we look at the typical relationship out there,
what ends up happening is that the sex becomes what is referred to as ABC Sex – Anniversary, Birthday and Christmas. And for some “lucky gents” they get it once or twice a month. Believing that this is just how relationship is to be, that this is couplehood, its normal, its natural.
 
And that the relationship is still doing good.
 
But what they may not understand is the subtle change in personality in their female partner.
 
The once bubbly, playful, connective, confident woman who could light up a room is now sour to life, irritable, moody, depressed, tired, sick and insecure.
 
Again excuses get made.
 
“Its money worries.”
“Its exhaustion over the kids.”
“Its her age.”
“Its this disease that she has.”
“Its her work stress.”
 
And with this sublte personality change your lady love goes from looking at you as her prince charming to viewing you as her keeper, her controller, her boss, her child, an irritation in her life.
 
She is quick to attack,
she is easy to offend,
she is critical and judgemental.
She is tired and frustrated.
She does not want to be touched.
She does not want to play and gets irritated at your play.
She no longer see’s the humor in things.
She burries herself in her work or in the home or a TV show or book.
 
And when she is sexing with you…
she either fakes it or goes limp without much response.
 
But you are happy and you are grateful.
You got yours my sweet prince.
The sex was amazing,
maybe not the best you have had,
but some sort of sex is better then no sex,
and she is such a doll for taking care of you.
 
But with each giving of herself,
she empties her very soul,
she dims her light,
to keep the peace.
As she awaits for her knight to awaken and see that she needs saving.
 
And with each thrust that you provide,
you fall futher and further off your horse.
Your charm is no longer seen,
for the pain of her emptiness is all she can feel.
 
So if you desire to not loose your charm with your lady love,
then take heed to this musing,
and realize that the true knight in shining armor will conconquer the nights of empty sexing by applying his focus to making sure that she cums first and cums a few times,
by not accepting her willingness to just give herself up for your pleasure alone, will not support the trauma of her emotions or body with a lack of depth in presence or orgasm.
 
A true prince charming understands that in order for him to succeed at winning and keeping his ladies heart that he MUST educate himself on the ways of the feminine.
And not deny them or ignore.
 
So if you claim to love your woman,
then take on the mission of filling her up with orgasm.
Deep.
Connective.
Multiple.
Rich.
Orgasm.
 
Will you take on the mission of your woman’s pleasure and joy?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to explore more in depth ways to tap into healing your relationship, accessing a truly beautiful turned on bedroom life and deepen your intimacy? Message me for deets on my couples and indiviual coaching available globally.
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Remember Who You Are.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.
 
Remember.
 
Now more than ever before it is vitally important to this world that you WAKE UP and remember who you are.
 
You are more than your physical body.
There is an inner part of you that has existed long before any of this world was created.
 
And it was from that inner perspective that YOU MADE the decision to become phsyical.
 
Once you became of phsyical existance,
not all of you came into you,
just a part of you,
just a small aspect of you came into existance.
While a much larger aspect of you,
remains in nonphysical.
Remains connected to Source fully.
 
This aspect of you that you are currently identifying with,
it is physically focused,
but it is important to understand that,
YOU…
 
You are not alive or dead.
You are much grander than either of these.
Much older than these and always connected with God.
This aspect of you that you are not fully identified with,
this nonphysical aspect that is not physically focused,
but communicates with you in every moment,
is with you in every moment of your expereince,
it is ALWAYS aware of you,
it is always making sure that you are very well attended too.
 
This aspect of you KNOWS.
It knows who you are.
It does not question your worthiness,
your value,
or if you are too much or not enough.
 
This aspect of you,
sees clearly the path before you,
because it is constantly calling back to you.
Guiding you from its vantage point,
drawing you closer to your desired life.
Gently nudging.
Revealing.
 
Breathing life direction into you.
Asking that you hear its soft voice over the chaotic
banter of the hustle around you in the physical.
 
This nonphysical aspect of you,
is YOU.
 
It is a direct link in consciousness to the God consciousness that resides in us all.
It is the end and the beginning.
It is the all knowing.
It is the alchemist of life,
and the conjurer of all things,
desired.
 
It is YOU.
 
And it is time for you to remember your power.
To call on your highest and grandest aspect,
the aspect that is too great to fit into this physical focused
version of you.
 
It is time for you to realize that,
 
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.
 
You were born to have it all.
You were not born to play small.
You not born to suffer.
You were not born to live a life of just paying bills and saying no to THRIVING.
 
F-ck NO!
 
You my beautiful soul,
were born for greatness.
 
And it is time,
RIGHT NOW….
 
For you to fully embody this aspect of YOU.
and Remember that you are a powerful manifestor,
and your have all the skills,
all the worthiness,
all the permission already granted to creat and live the life of your dreams.
 
But you have to WAKE UP.
 
You have to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
You must stop believing this illusion around you.
You must come back to your core,
feel the power that stirs through your veins.
 
AND KNOW.
 
This knowing is a great certainty.
It is an acceptance of your divinity as a child of God.
 
And it is time to OWN THAT.
 
Are You Ready to Say YES to your birth right?
 
The world is depending on you to do so now.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Now accepting applications for 1:1 coaching.
Learn how you can let go of that that causes you stress and fear and truly create the life that youhave always wanted for.
Plus inquire about my group coaching for way to reduce anxiety and stress with a 5 week mastermind on the vagus nerve.
 
Photo Credit to Photographyinwonderland.
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Why Saying No to $60k May Keep You In Soul Alignment.

What would you give to make an extra $60,000 a year?
What would you sacrifice for this?
Would you be willing to step out of soul alignment for a good chunk of change?
 
Last week I was offered just this.
An extra $60k a year for really minimal time on my part.
It is an amazing opportunity to boot.
And I feel blessed to have it knock on my door.
 
But as I sit here over the week and feel into my heart.
Into my gut.
Into my core.
My soul…
 
I feel disgusted in truth.
I have been dancing around with this feeling all week,
telling myself this or that.
 
Telling myself that it was fear.
That maybe I had worthiness issues,
or even that I was being lazy.
 
However,
my gut feels nasty gross at the thought of saying yes to this opportunity.
I feel like my boundaries are being pushed on before they ever are.
I feel like I might have to fight for my boundaries and end up in a piss poor situation that could not only break open old wounds that I have done so much effing work around, but perhaps scar me even deeper.
 
I keep hearing certain statements made in my inquiry process that just do not sit well in my body and if I lean in to those feelings, I find myself being a f-ck no to the opportunity.
 
I feel edgy.
I feel nauseated.
I feel fear.
 
So what do I do?
Do I lean into a situation,
and opportunity,
because it appears to be so financially rewarding and even will help me in building my brand better potentially and gaining further exposure to potential clients and other opportunities?
 
OR…
 
Do I listen to my soul.
Listen to the reality that no matter how great it may appear from the outside, that my soul is not in alignment to it?
 
I tend to pause in moments like this.
I pause.
I do research.
And I sit with it a few days.
I understand the power of the ego,
and how it wants to raise havoc in our lives, preventing us from not stepping into all that we can be-do-have,
by getting us to embrace fear, shame, guilt, uncertainty or scarcity thinking.
Making us believe that something is something more or less than what our soul knows it to be.
 
The truth is simple.
Soul alignment is ALL that matters.
 
Whether,
you are looking at a relationship,
a job opportunity,
a new business,
a diet or workout,
or any life change or event,
right down to deciding on what you want for dinner.
 
Because even your dinner should be in soul alignment.
If you are willing to sacrifice and not be in alignment with the food you put into your body,
then where else are you willing to say yes or no when you mean the opposite.
 
When it just does not feel right,
but you feel shame, guilt, fear over stating your authentic answer?
 
Soul alignment at all cost is where it is at.
 
It can feel like the most challenging thing to do.
Which should,
when you think about it seem silly.
 
Silly because,
since when is saying yes to our soul,
yes to what we know to be right and good for us,
yes to alignment,
something that should be challenging?
 
It should not be challenging.
It should just be.
It should just be a no duh sorta thing.
 
RIGHT?
 
But it is not.
Reality is that ego has us all by the balls quiet frequently.
It has us jumping through hoops of fear and doubt,
acting from a place of scarcity and unworthiness,
instead of faith, love and abundance.
 
The things that feel good.
Even when they give us butterflies in our tummies.
 
The things that make our hearts smile.
And make our souls proud.
 
For me,
soul alignment is my only focus.
 
I won’t take on a new client even if I do not feel aligned to them.
 
And I certainly will not allow anyone into my personal life,
or my bed that I am not feeling aligned too.
 
If I step out of soul alignment,
which I do all too often on accident and because I am but only human at the end of the day,
I quickly look at where I stepped away from soul,
and do whatever it takes to get back into my flow.
 
If soul alignment is not your cup of tea,
you believe that it is just a pot a crap that all us new agey peep’s and supporters harp on because it is the hot topic,
bu that the real truth is that you just gotta compromise, shut up and bend over and take it, or that you have to spend all your time and energy doing what you don’t feel like doing because that is how life works and that is how success is achieved,
 
well then…
 
I am sorry.
 
Not really.
But I know that I cannot change your mind on this.
And that that very belief makes you out of alignment with my soul,
 
so why bother?
 
Back to the point of this share,
Soul Alignment.
 
You are either in it or you are not.
 
I can tell you that when I wake up to my munchkins jumping into bed with me,
snuggling up and saying, “Mommy, mommy I love you.”
And I feel good about who I am,
all that I do,
and all that I can provide.
I know that this feeling is what matters most.
Because as soon as I start to ignore my soul and the emotions and feelings that is guides me with,
I actually loose myself.
 
And in loosing myself,
I sacrifice my life.
In this sacrifice,
I also potentially sacrifice all that I can be-do-have,
and say no to the f-ck yes life that I desire.
 
So what are you willing to sacrifice for an opportunity,
a relationship,
or anything else that is not a f-ck yes to your soul?
 
Look at the true price of it.
 
It’s always your choice.
 
Praying you decide wisely and in favor of soul alignment.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.
 
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Ode to the Mama Bear

Nothing more important to this Mama Bear than her babies.
 
And I know that when I say this that all you Mama Bears out there agree.
 
There is nothing I would not do,
go through,
or try and make happen for my children.
 
My 21 year old daughter calls me the mother of all mothers.
Recently her and I went and got tattoo’s together and she helped me decide what I would get.
 
“To be soft is to be powerful.”
 
This is what is now written on my right shoulder.
The message is one that portrays strength in our vulnerability,
strength in the revealing of our hearts,
strength in our softness and flow.
 
Strength as a mother is much like this.
This tattoo is a reminder to me that no matter what happens in life, my strength comes from within.
 
And it is beautiful and needed.
 
This message today,
I share with all you Mama Bears out there.
I share my courageous heart with you beautiful ladies,
I share my desire to create a better world for our children,
and our grand babies.
I share my passion to create a legacy for my home team.
For the souls that I have birthed into this world and who blessed me with the precious gift of motherhood.
 
The message I wish to share with you Mama Bears is that our babies, both of our womb and those we adopt into our lives are reason enough to become the gorgeous queens that we were meant to be.
 
It is through our divine feminine leadership,
that our daughters will grow into strong and powerful, beautiful women themselves.
Our son’s will grow into strong, powerful and respectful men.
It is up to we women of today,
to create the world of tomorrow.
 
So why do we settle for less than what we deserve in this life?
Why do we take less in our relationships,
in our love and in our sex,
in our reaping of abundance and health?
 
Why do we allow this world to rape us of our joy and our beauty?
 
Why do perceive ourselves as weak when we dance in our beauty, our feminine energy?
But think that strength is revealed only in control, masculine power, through actions of ego and mind instead of heart and soul?
Why do we choose to disregard our intuition?
 
I will tell you why.
 
We have been lied too,
and we believe these lies.
 
We have been scorned into bitterness and fear,
we have been trampled by plagues of fear and trauma.
 
We have been ignored,
underappreciated,
viewed as weak and meek,
as property.
 
This is why we now sit in a time where we women,
are lost within ourselves.
 
Looking for ways to heal.
To birth ourselves into a new reality,
where we feel in love with ourselves again.
Where we feel complete,
loved,
adored,
honored,
and seen.
 
Seen as the powerful yet soft feminine that we feel inside our soul.
 
But ladies,
we cannot demand our empowerment from society,
or take it from the masculine by treating the masculine the same way that we have been treated for centuries.
 
No.
We must do it through leaning further into our feminine.
We must do it by tapping into our orgasm,
our joy and our intuition.
 
We must do it by grabbing hold of the reigns of our soul,
and pull ourselves into the alignment that we crave.
 
This is how we share our legacy as powerful women.
This is how we build a life that we are proud of.
This is how we lead our children.
And bless them with what only we Mama Bear’s know to be true.
 
True Strength Comes from the Courage of Your Soul.
 
The more we lead our babies like this,
the more raw and open we are with our son’s and daughters about life,
the more they see us embracing who we are with joy and fierceness,
the more they witness us healing to our greatest depths,
the more our son’s and daughters will KNOW.
 
They will know themselves by the revealing we do for them of ourselves.
 
They will de-armour themselves of the pain,
the shame and guilt,
the fear that run’s rampant in our world today.
 
Instead they will discover who they are,
because they witness us standing in our light.
 
Revealing who we are.
This is the path that we women lead.
 
It is the path of opening to truth for our children’s sake.
 
You owe it to yourself.
You owe it to your babies.
You owe it to this world.
 
To stand strong and powerful,
in your souls desire,
in your hearts softness.
As the Queen that you are.
 
Mama Bear you are loved.
Embrace this world as though it were your child.
 
Birth yourself into truth today.
And feel your orgasm.
Live your life, fully claimed.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me in October for 5 weeks of intensive coaching on Facebook.
Or for my pre launch of F-ck Yes Life Entrepreneur Business.
Message me for details.
Or become a VIP 1+1client now.
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Posted on

I am No Effing Babysitter.

My life is full of children.
Literally.
I am the mother of seven babies ranging from 3 years to almost 23 years. I love my children more than anything.
They hold my heart like no other.
Honestly there is nothing that I would not do or give for my babies.
From the first moments of looking into my eldest daughters eye’s I knew I was in love. I had that same feeling with the birth of each of my children. Precious angels that God had gifted me to care for. Watch over and teach wisely.
My children are my pride and my joy.
My heart sores with gratitude as I watch them grow and see the beautiful souls that they are maturing into.
 
I know this is nothing abnormal.
All of us mother’s feel this way about our babies.
The sun rises and sets on these humans that we created.
We are proud goddess bitches who birthed angels.
 
And YES I am one very PROUD Mama!
But I am no effing babysitter.
 
God seem’s to bless my life repeatedly with the task of babysitting other mama’s babies. I suck at babysitting my own. I have never been the helicopter parent. I give my children so much freedom to explore, learn, fail and succeed.
I let them crash and I hold out a hand and ask if they want my help to stand. I smile at their goofiness, their immaturity and illusions of how life works or not.
 
I watch them struggle to learn who they are and what steps are most pleasing for their life.
 
I watch them fear tomorrow but step forward with enthusiasm.
I do not control.
I guide through my actions, through my life expression.
I do not treat my children as though they are smaller than, less than or property.
 
No, I worship the f-cking ground they walk on through gifting them with responsibility and expectation of being authentically them.
 
I worship them through supporting them with unconditional love and sometimes the tough love they need to hear even though tears form and they slam doors and tell me how much they hate me.
 
I am no effing babysitter.
Yet God blesses me with many other mama’s babies.
 
They knock at my motherhood door each year that passes.
These angels that have been cast out from their families in so many ways.
These angels who are of all ages.
They reveal their hearts to me and beg for the love they crave, the unconditional worship of soul, the allowance to just be seen as who they really are.
 
Yet they too slam doors and shed tears,
get horribly mad with my ways,
with my distance and lack of hand holding.
They feel the pain of mama bear not rushing in to save them but just wanting them to stand and walk.
Wanting them to do what they were born for.
To fly.
To be authentically them.
 
I am no effing babysitter but God blesses me daily with other mama’s babies.
They want answers, support and and a shoulder to cry on.
They want guidance and hand holding.
They wonder if I truly care because it often appears that I am distant and unseeing. Callous to their cries and plea’s.
Their souls know, just as my own flesh and blood babies know.
I will always be here.
I am always loving them.
No matter what life may bring or whom they choose to be or not be.
I am unconditional in my love, even when I am gone.
I find no need to explain myself.
I find no need to run to their sides.
I find no need to hide who I am or
bend in ways that I was not built.
I am always GUIDING.
 
I am like the mother willow who protects all, bends in the storms but does not break. I am plentiful in my energy and love but I am no effing babysitter.
 
No I do not babysit.
No matter the baby, I will carry them only so far and then the day always comes that they must stand on their own feet and test the path before them.
 
Here they will shake at the knee’s,
they will quiver with fear,
they will jump with joy,
they will be a full expression of self,
and they will fall.
 
But they will RISE.
On their own.
Stronger than before.
Embraced in unconditional love.
Embraced in Light and Truth of who they are.
A beautiful earth angel from God.
Here with a mission.
And as all angels, they are warriors.
They are warriors of their souls.
Here to make their stand.
 
No I am no effing babysitter.
Babysitters do not raise crusaders.
Proud A*s Angel Mama’s – strong in the armor of God DO!
 
This is written for all you proud as f-ck mama’s out there who raise your own beautiful babies as well as other’s too. Who support your sisters and brother’s, your friends and lover’s, your soul tribe.
 
This is for all you proud as f-ck mama’s who know that God has blessed your life with lot’s of spirit babies in this life and who CHOOSE to stand up to the call and GUIDE in love.
 
We are not effing babyistters.
We are warrior goddesses,
a sister-hood of mother’s with many spirit babies who come to us at their time’s of need.
 
And we GUIDE.
 

As Always,

Remember who you ARE.
And ,

Stop Existing & Start Living

Posted on

siSTAR Tribe- Heal Thy Selves

As a woman you would think it easy for me to be open and vulnerable, trusting even of the feminine. Of other women. That sisterhood would just come naturally and easily.

As a woman who is a mother of 7 souls, three of which are daughters and spends her day’s reaching out into the world and helping other women, other people and sharing of herself as vulnerably as I can in any given moment. That female connection and understanding would just be a reality. A norm for me.

The truth is though that I have had a lifetime of shut down around the feminine. Around trusting the feminine. Trusting my fellow sisters. Just calling other women my sisters causes a nagging nausea in my gut. It rises up an uncertainty of if I can trust women. If I can lean in here.

Do I even want to?

My wounds with the feminine stem back to my early childhood where my mother would talk radically negative about my father to me on hour long walks with our German Shepard and myself. She would tell me how awful my dad was. How she wanted out of the relationship. She would dream of finding a suitcase full of money on our walk and escaping life with him. She wanted to run away from him. She wanted her freedom but at the cost of choosing daily to stay settled and just bitch to 5 year old me on our evening walk about it.

Then came her co-dependent nature. Always attached at my hip, like an infant to it’s mother. It seemed often like I was the mother. She could not make a move without my support.

Then came her crazy ass stories of her past, where she shared all too much with me about how she manipulated this or that.

How she was wounded from WWII and the bombings.
How she was angry at her father for being killed during the war when she was eight.
How she was angry with her mother for doing the things that she had to at that point to survive and support two little girls.
She told me about her abuse in her first marriage.
She tried to teach me how to steal from stores.
How to lie well and hold my poker face.
She showed me how to disconnect from my heart and SURVIVE.
She taught me that women are not to be trusted.
She taught me that women manipulate.

She told me that I was different though.
That I could walk on water.
But I was her air.
So don’t run away.
Don’t abandon her.

Then came school. My girl friends once made would randomly choose to no longer be my friends. They would make up stories, would gossip if I shared anything vulnerable. They would steal my clothes, cheat off my tests and then point the finger back at me.

But I craved friendship.
I craved sisterhood.
I craved to be one of the girls.
I craved to fit in.

Then came high school. I chose to go to a high school that was actually not in my district so that I could remain with my best friends. They were a grade ahead of me, but we were besties and they WANTED me to come to that school. It was going to be great. Until school started that was.

Now they were too busy for me. They had boyfriends. Sisterhood no longer mattered. It was every girl for herself.
And lord help me if one of their guys spoke or looked at me.

Now I was a threat.
Now I was the enemy.

Ice cream hurdled across the hallway, hitting my brand new leather jacket.
Laughter ringing out.
The call of “You Slut!” from the mouth of my once best friend. The girl who wept her tears of pain when her parents divorced into my arms. The girl who we “twinned” once a week together and sunbathed on the roof of her house every summer day we could grab together.

The girl who begged me to come to this school.
It was going to be great.
We were besties.
We had each others back.

Yes here, here is where it all started.
Repeatedly I witnessed the whirlwind of emotional instability from the feminine.
Repeatedly I was daggered by my sisters as though I was a vampire out to steal their lives.
Repeatedly I was wounded, shamed, disowned by the feminine.
I was lied too.
I was lied about.

My besties, my sisters had been taken over by the mean girl syndrome.

But we were young.
We were just children still.
Things would change once I was an adult.

Women don’t act like this.
Women know how to support each other.
Women understand the pains of our adolescent years and we overcome them and heal. We rise about the mean girl syndrome and we become radiant, supportive siSTARS.

Right?

Then came my adult years.
I shut down in my twenties. I kept my friendships limited. I kept my heart limited. I focused on my family. My children. My husband. My life. My education.

The things I felt I could control.
I had a siSTAR in my life. She was amazing. Supportive. Trustworthy. She had my back. I was certain.

And I was right.
She still today, even with miles apart, years between. Words rarely shared has my back and I have her’s. There is no doubt in my mind or heart that I could call her at 2AM from anywhere in this world and cry on her shoulder, ask to stay the night, and I would do the same for her.

She is my soul siSTAR.
She is a rare light.
25 years of friendship proves this.

Then came my 30’s. I was eager, hungry and full of desire. I wanted to take on the world. I wanted to expand. I wanted to meet myself and I wanted a sisterhood. I entered the state of Texas with a mission to have just this. ALL OF THIS.

And so I did.
Or so I thought.

Quickly I had a large group of feminine support. This was my tribe. These were my sisters. We were all mom’s, we lived close to each other. We enjoyed similar things. We celebrated life weekly together. It was amazing.

The laughter.
The tears.
The sharing.
The holding space for each other when shit went down with our spouses or kids.
The sharing of our fears and our desires.
This was sisterhood.

Then came the day that my dear friend said, “You know what you did. We can’t be friends anymore.”

And with her went the whole tribe.
Poof!
Gone in a second.
And for what?

Still to this day, almost 10 years later I have no certain closure on this.

Accusations made while I was away on summer holiday with my family. Lies told. Stories conjured. Truth lost. Friendship lost.

Told I was guilty.
Told I was a slut.
Told I was horrible.
Told I was not fit to be in the tribe.

Abandoned by my sisters and never offered a space to speak my truth. To get answers. To set things right.

Mean girls knocking at my door again.
Statements made on social media.
Accusations and allegations of false truths.
Lord help me.

So I shut down.
I closed myself off and I isolated myself from the feminine.
I opened and did my work around the masculine.
I danced and blossomed with the help of the great men who stepped up in my life. Who held space for me.
I stepped into my goddess-hood.
Claiming I did not need the feminine.
It was not to be trusted.
It disliked me.
It hated me.
I was alone.
There was no sisterhood for me.

All but one siSTAR.
Who still remains after 10 years of friendship.
My Hawaiian goddess siSTAR. Who holds space, who laughs and shares her wisdom in times needed. Who shares her pain, her fear and tears. Her joy, her dreams, her spirit with me. Yes she has my back. This I know. This I am certain.
She is a rare light.

The masculine.
It holds me.
It adores me.
It craves me.
It eats me up and helps me to fly.

It scorns me.
It scares me.
It bruises my being.
It rips my heart out like a ravenous beast.
It breaks my body and stomps on my boundaries then blames me for being a woman.

The masculine.
I love the masculine.
I hate the masculine.

I need the feminine.
I crave my sisters.
I crave the support.
I hunger for the light.
I want to be seen as a woman and understood.
Seen that my crazy girl moments are normal.
I want to cry and not be fixed.
And just be okay.

In steps my siSTAR.
She is a rare light.

She supports me by just being.
She see’s my pain and she wants to fight for my hearts pain.
She stands firm in the wake of my storm and she casts a line to help me find harmony once again.
She uproots her whole life,
She turns herself inside out,
She shares her fears,
Her pain,
She holds space when she is not even trying.
She is a rare light indeed.
She is a Goddess.
She has my back and I have her’s.
This I am certain.

This is what friends do for friends, she says.
This is not what I am accustom too.
She and my fellow siSTARS through the last 25 years,
though they may be few,
they are strong,
they are Mother F*cking Goddesses.

They aim to heal them selves.
They aim to heal other’s.
They are kindred souls.
They are true siSTARS.

This is the relationships that I crave with my fellow women.
This is my tribe of goddesses.
This is my healing of wounds from my youth and wounds from theirs.
This is our life path.
This is SiSTARHOOD.

Embracing the fierceness of sisterhood.
Today.
Tomorrow.
And ALWAYS.

Healing the feminine.
By allowing myself to be healed by the feminine.

Remember my fellow siSTAR Goddess,
You are worthy.
You are a rare light.
You are loved.
You are a Mother F*cking Goddess.

Always,
Stop Existing- Start Living

Are you a woman that feel’s scorned? Hurt? Scared to step into her Mother F*cking Goddess Power? 
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When do I get my pump, pump, oooh, goo? by Scott B.

bodygoodRecently I came across a post in a discussion group by a male who was expressing confusion and frustration on focusing on his pleasure.    His question was also how to focus on his pleasure and hers at the same time     There are many different ways that this can be answered.    What I believe the core of the problem to be is more widespread than just the pleasure question.

In my experience there is a belief, by males, that there is no difference between orgasm and climax.    This is not true, we are never taught the difference, because talking about sex is considered taboo.    So let’s strip away the taboo and deal with the concept of orgasm does not equal ejaculation.   You can experience orgasm without climax, you can experience climax without orgasm.  In my mind and experience the former is preferable.   If a man can learn to move the sexual energy that gets built up in the genital region before climax he can get to the point of experiencing multiple orgasms without approaching ejaculation.    Most guys spill over the edge of climax for several reasons.

The first and most important reason is lack of being in the moment and experiencing the pleasure of the intimate act with the partner.    I would hazard a guess that most guys are already focused on “getting some” before the act is even certain and with ejaculation being the end goal.

ejaculation (1)To experience complete pleasure requires retraining the body and the mind to experience the depth and nuances of pleasure without focusing on the end goal of e ejaculation    David Deida refers to this kind of friction sex as “pump, pump ooooh, goo”     Once you have retrained the body and the mind not to see ejaculation/climax as the goal of sex you can start to learn new patterns and your body will let you know when releasing energy via ejaculation is necessary.

There is no clean cut answer on how often a male should ejaculate as each body is different and will require different levels of energy retention and recycling.  It will also depend on environmental factors, age, weight, diet, & general level of health.     When ejaculation becomes a conscious choice instead of an expectation the true experience of pleasure can begin to be understood and felt.

It is important to keep in mind we can’t unlearn the patterns that we’ve built up over our lifetimes to this point.   We did not learn how to walk, talk, ride a bike in a day.   This is no different.   It is a process of learning your body and how to open up to the sensations of pleasure.   As they stated in a class that I recently took.  When we learn to expand the container of the experience the more you can fit into that container.   This includes sensations, thoughts, perceptions etc.

Like with anything else this will take conscious effort and practice.

You might have noticed that I have not mentioned to this point focusing on the woman’s pleasure.   The reason for that is I don’t believe the posters confusion or frustration is centered anywhere other than himself.    While it may be seen as chivalrous or forward thinking to focus solely on the woman’s pleasure first, by that very act you take away from the pleasure of the experience for both partners.   So I am going to suggest that before any man asks the question of how to pleasure a woman, they first ask the question of accepting pleasure within themselves and what the intent they are taking into the experience is.    Is it to share a beautiful moment of intimacy and deep connection with another human being, or are you focused on your climax?

ORIGINAL ARTICLE published on Authentic Living.com