“YOU DISGUST ME!”- WHY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY GREATNESS!

So effing frustrated with our victim minded world that we have created!

Many of today’s humans could not make it in the world just 30 years ago.

We have created a society that is weak and scared of each other.

We have created a people that refuses to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings or actions.

We have created a society that believes that shame is how you heal the world, how you make things right and that it is their DUTY to do just such.

We have created a world where confrontation is a bad thing that should be avoided at all cost and any one who stands up and speaks their truth that may not align 100% to another’s should brace themselves for the impact of how bad they are for stating it or setting a boundary.

Didn’t they understand their truth, their ideas, their opinions, their work, their art, their education, their pictures were offensive and shameful and not okay to have in this world?

Geeze what is wrong with them for sharing any of their stuff?

They should take into account what someone else that they don’t know might be feeling or how looking at whatever it is might make that other person think, because don’t you know YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR FEELING everyone else is responsible for them, not you.

And because you posted it on social media – then you FORCED them to look.

This particular man friended me awhile back, ( see image with post)

he follows other sex and relationship coaches, practitioners and tantra educators that speak of openness, finding your orgasm and living in a sex positive world, yet he has decided to report some of my pictures because he claims that they are offensive and nasty…😱

Acting as though I have explicit sex pictures on my facebook for all too see…🤣🤣🤣

The reason I have chosen to share this with every one is simple,

this kind of attitude is becoming more of a norm.

The other day a man went off on my wall here under a musing I did on boundaries and how important it is to have healthy one’s in all areas of our lives, he decided that I was a tantric prostitute who was manipulating men by wearing a long white vintage dress into giving me their money… he insisted that I was being nasty as well in my flaunting of myself as he called it.

This sort of attitude that I see rising up more and more is sad.

It is an attitude of fear and separation with zero personal responsibility for our internal worlds.

There is so much pain in our world.

SO much pain in the people’s hearts.

And we are being blinded by it.

It forms in anger, disgust, rage, blame and shame toward others.

And it is because somewhere along the line we stopped teaching personal responsibility.

We started making the least mature people in the world the boss of everyone.

Competition these days is evil.

You cannot have a winner and a looser because it is hurtful to someone’s feelings.

You cannot have a debate and agree to disagree, because it may hurt someones feelings.

You cannot have certain beliefs, ideas, or experiences and talk about them because someone that may be passing by may hear and be upset by the sharing between two friends.

You are damned if you look, talk, believe or act this way or that way and you are damned if you don’t as well.

The ONLY THING that matters is that YOU make sure NOT TO OFFEND any other human being on this planet with your disgusting existence.

That is unless you are among the emotionally immature who feel it is socially acceptable to mock, blame, shame and kick others from behind their computer and phone screens about sharing what they are not comfortable with. That is JUST FINE – NO HARM, NO FOUL there.🤔

And yet,

we want to watch other’s who are living out loud and we can get caught up in their saga’s, drama’s and ways of living and expressing.

We flock to things that are not average.

We crave connection more then every.

We feel so isolated and misunderstood,

road rage and depression is normal,

everyone is on some prescription drug trying to mask their pain and disconnect.

Those who shame and blame the most hold the biggest subscriptions to porn hub and make the most aggressive private messages. On one side they condemn and on the other they explicitly expect.

And what does any of this truly mean at the end of the day?

It means that our world has progressed no further then the dark ages on this subject.

It means that if this were 2000+ years ago the one’s throwing the stones to kill the prostitute are the same one’s who were bedding her in the stable just 15 minutes prior.

It means that we still as a mass society value our suffering more then our worth.

It means that for those of us who choose to walk on the road less traveled and take the heat,

Those of us who are the 1% who will not cower to this crazy victim-hood mentality of settling for less than what we are worth in this life,

who believe in ourselves and whom want to be the light.

WE HOLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GREATNESS.

The sheeple remain blind by fear mongering and separation.

But YOU are not a sheeple…. ( well at least I pray that if you follow me that you are not a sheeple and if you are well then please take this post as my personal invite for you to uninvite yourself out of my online community and tribe).

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

I choose to focus on WORTHINESS and that God does not create unworthy things.

I want you to know that if you are walking on this road less traveled with me that you are and EAGLE.

And you are not walking.

You are flying BABY!

You have wings.

And you have GREATNESS inside of you.

Never let those who are blinded by their own darkness cast your light out.

And this world,

this world is what you make of it.

Is what you choose to focus on,

so choose to not fear this blind victim-hood mentality of the weak minded and disconnected,

Instead,

Live Out Loud, Unapologetic and FREE!

💃💃💃 And don’t let my white vintage dress manipulate you too much…lol 🤣🤣🤣

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

– Accepting applications for 1:1 private clients for a limited time.

May 4, 2013January 24, 2019

Nudity Provides Health Benefits for Your Body and Brain

Is clothing crushing us? Are we trapped in tomb-like textiles, exiling our flesh from experiencing the environment? Are we atrophying our epidermis, our senses, our neuro-intelligence?

If you put a plaster cast on a broken arm the skin starves for Vitamin D, the muscles weaken due to strangled range of motion, the nerve synapses depress to a whimper of their former joy. Twenty-first century hominids? We shroud our entire skin palette except for face, neck and hands – we obliterate symbiosis with the planet.

We hide in cocoons, when we could be free as butterflies.

History reveals many cultures that were not clothes-minded. Spartans were basically bare and their victories in pan-Hellenic sports competitions enticed all neighboring Greeks to exercise nude, creating the word “gymnasium” (Greekgymnos = naked). Romans mingled in magnificent bathhouses, enjoying dense communal nudity as they drank, dined, defecated, bathed, read books, argued politics, and watched theater. Adamists — naked heretics — performed stripped-down church services in North Africa, Bohemia, the Netherlands, and England. Pre-Hitler Germans were avid adherents of Freikorperkultur (“Free Body Culture”) with 70,000 attending co-ed Nacktkultur schools.

There’s naked Japanese in hot springs, naked Finns in saunas, “sky-clad” Jain monks in India, plus millions of nudists worldwide going to “Nakation” camps, beaches, and resorts. They’re still sporty as Spartans, eager to hike naked (“free bush rambling”), canoe naked (“canuding”), bicycle naked, ride horses naked, run naked, play volleyball, badminton, ping-pong and chess naked, swim naked, dance naked, do Naked Yoga, Naked Tai Chi, Naked Gardening, Naked Bowling, and of course, many of us, perhaps you and I, dear readers, are NIFOC — Naked In Front of Computers.

Many famous figures were bare-all aficionados; too many politicians to name, so I’ll just list sci-fi and scientists: Leonard Nimoy, Alexander Graham Bell, Robert Heinlein, and seismologist Charles Richter. Nudism is prominent in Philip Jose Farmer’s Riverworld books and John Varley’s Steel Beach. Celebrities? Many movie stars skinny-dip at the French Riviera, trying to elude paparazzi seeking pix of Bruce WIllis’willy or Natalie Portman’s port side.

Here’s evidence suggesting that skin-only can be superior:

Born Free. Pediatricians agree that infants thrive with a daily dose of “naked time” because the unhampered range of motion aids brain development, stimulating neuron growth. Recent discoveries reveal that the “plastic” brain changes and develops throughout our entire lives. Neuroplasticity pioneer Michael M. Merzenich believes, “Everything that you can see happen in a young brain can happen in an older brain.” Doesn’t this imply that “naked time” is equally valuable for humans of any age, especially the elderly?

Weakened Bodies. A 2003 University of Reading study entitled “A Naked Ape Would Have Fewer Parasites” posits that “humans evolved hairlessness to reduce parasite loads, especially ectoparasites that may carry disease.” Unfortunately, the garments we wear can be a breeding ground for filthy fungi and bad bacterium, causing yeast infections, urinary tract infections, rotting toenails. Lyme Disease deer ticks can grab onto our sweaters and sea lice can sneak into our bathing suit crotches. Cinched-up belts, ties, and clothes impede breathing. Men’s snug pants raise testicle temperature, lowering sperm count and fertility.

Superior Socialization. Self-actualization proponent Abraham Maslow believed “Nudism… is itself a kind of therapy.” Health benefits of social nudity include stress reduction, satiation of curiosity about the human body, reduction of porn addiction, a sense of full-body integration and developing a wholesome attitude about the opposite gender. Research at the University of Northern Iowa discovered that nudists have significantly higher body self-acceptance. Another study concluded that teens at a New York nudist camp were “extraordinarily well-adjusted, happy, and thoughtful.” It’s also excellent for children to grow up free of shame about the human body.

Tolerant Views.A University of Central Florida 2008 study of 384 participants concluded that pro-nudity students “were significantly more accepting of other religious groups and gays and lesbians” when compared to the anti-nudity students. They were also “less prejudiced towards ethnically dissimilar others.”

Soothe Away Your Crazies. Massage is recognized as a therapeutic treatment for mental health issues like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolarism, borderline personality disorder, learning difficulties, and low self-esteem. Theskin stimulation of massage — improving blood flow and detoxifying the lymph system — is duplicated by the warmth, freedom, and improved circulation generated in nakedness.

Soak Up The Rays Vitamin D deficiency is currently soaring, with up to 75% of USA teens and adults receiving insufficient amounts of the “sunshine vitamin.” Lack of this essential health aid is a factor in numerous ailments, including cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis and diabetes. Anyone who bares all outside as a “naturist” harvests larger amounts of Vitamin D in a quicker time span.

Financial Liberation. Clothes are a huge money and time-suck with shopping, laundry, closets, dressers, and gazillions of hours wasted wondering what so-and-so looks like with their garments removed. The global markets for swimsuits alone is expected to reach $17.6 billion annually by 2015; our carbon footprint would shrink like a wool sweater if fabric was no longer manufactured.

Longevity (just joking!). Have you noticed that the furry Norway Rat only lives 2-3 years, while the Naked Mole Rat survives to be 28?

So… is the future going to be full frontal? Will the post-Singularity planet be stripped? Will everyone in a climate-controlled tomorrow choose to be nude, strutting around like the Nuba dancers and boxers of Leni Reifenstahl?

Trends point to an era where there won’t be a stitch to worry about. Many resort areas are are now offering nudism to increase tourism, and American naturist clubs claim their enrollment is growing 20% annually. The German airline OssiUrlaub.de offered nude chartered flights to a Baltic sea resort, and today’s lengthy luggage searches at airports are steering travelers to destinations where they only need carry-on towels and sunblock. Twenty million Europeans already go to nude beaches and spas.

Getting goosebumps imagining it, are you?

Original Posting by Hank Pellissier on The Immortal Life

April 3, 2013August 2, 2013

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

Why Show-N-Tell Sex Ed?

Why Live demo’s?

Why offer hands on training?

This is all to TABOO!!!!

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

It’s one thing for sex educators to talk about sex or show you pictures and graphs on a projector screen. It’s another thing entirely when sex educators show you how to do something, and invite you to ask questions… Especially when it’s not demonstrated on a piece of fruit, but on a real, live person!

Human beings are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.
With the ease and proliferation of free porn on the interwebs, now more than ever, porn is influencing how we behave behind closed doors (or in the back seat of our parent’s SUV). The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.s are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.

Watching porn isn’t the same as watching a qualified sex educator role model great communication techniques, ask permission, check in with their partner, get verbal permission from them before touching them, and then properly put a condom on while encouraging the spectators to ask questions.

There are several things when it comes to helping people learn about sex that are actually more easily learned if I show you the technique on a living, breathing human being and you can watch and ask us questions – an audience gets to see what “real sex” looks like. They can pick up the subtle nuances that aren’t always visible in pornography’s tightly choreographed and edited product. The more real the sex, the easier it is to grasp and transfer that feeling good and being respectful and safe has little to do with DD breasts, 12-inch cocks and squirting orgasms.

Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox by today’s standards to invite adults into a room to learn how to be a better lover by watching explicit, live demonstrations, but the simple fact is that even just talking openly about sex and intimacy in an honest and vulnerable manner is not the norm. There is so much work to be done! And there aren’t a lot of sex educators teaching explicit workshops.” — Reid Mihalko

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed

Learn to feel your partner or any lover in a way never experienced before. These workshops are designed to help answer your most sensual questions. Each workshop is designed for Single’s or those in a relationship.

“This could not have been a better Event and Demo. It was given with both sensitivity and information enabling me to be much more loving, respectful and talented with the woman I am with in the future. Great Thanks, Alexander, Kendal and Sharon” — Sandy from Dallas (Dec.2012 Female Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

Over the course of my career as a Sex & Relationship Coach, Tantra Teacher I have explored many away to help my clients better grow in understanding, overcoming blockages, shame, fear, judgement’s, body image issues, relationship issues and pitfalls, and many intimate sexually related problems as well as learning how to manifest a life that they desire and deserve to live in total bliss and abundance. One of the most powerful events as a teacher is to see your student/client excel and reach past the boundaries that they thought they had to remain fearful off. To see someone achieve their dreams in life and live abundance in ALL ways not just one idea of it.

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed allows for barriers to be pushed, questions to be answered and understanding at a much deeper level to unfold through the experiential exercises and Live Demo’s provided in a workshop. The expansion that participant achieve is unlike no other. It is a perfect solution as well to those who want to explore but are not ready for one-on-one bodywork or even a couple’s session. The ability to view and possible do some hands on learning opens gateways of education. Although Show-N-Tell Sex Ed is still a taboo for many people in society I think an easy to digest way to look at it is through the artists eye not the pornographic eye.

Anyone who takes a college art class would not be surprised or feel it taboo to have a live nude model come in to the classroom for all the students to view and draw or mold a piece of art after. This is a NORM in the classroom, just as with many educational practices for doctors to view, handle and even explore on a nude or partially nude model. I mean do you really think that a Gyno just learns out of a book and from some video’s? No, hands on learning, show-n-tell experiences, this is where the true are of education and understanding happens.

” I did not know it was possible for a man to have a full body orgasm and not come. This workshop taught me techniques that I never knew about in all of my love-making history. Thank you Kendal and Alexander.” — Debbie (Jan. 2013 Male Genital Massage Demo Workshop)

Why is it that we as a society believe that we don’t need a deeper understanding of one of the most intimate, important and powerful parts of our lives as humans? Why do we put our sexuality and loving on the back burner? Why do we think a book is the only way to expand our sexual understanding? And who really believes that there is some set format to learning about these intimate matters of our human experience?

No matter where you are in the world if you have the opportunity to explore a Show-N-Tell Sex Ed Workshop from a Coach/teacher DO!!!! Your life will only improve as well as your love skills!

Let the Artist of your bedroom out to play TODAY!!!!

-KW

March 27, 2013January 24, 2019

Awakening Truth – Shaming the Vulva

Over the last few years I have been working with men, women and couple’s. It has been an amazing path of self discovery for me as I work with everyone. One of many things that I have awoken to is how closed our society really is in the field of pleasure and sexuality. Yet we are over taken by these two things at the same time. How is that we can constantly be sold merchandise with the appeal that if we get this or that it will make us happier, sexier, more satisfied, increase our love/sex lives and bring us bliss, yet still say that pleasure and yes sexual pleasure is not good; we should not crave it? Yet we do.

At the core of pleasure and sex for many people are our genitals. Our pussies and cocks or those of our lovers. We long to touch, taste, penetrate and feel the deep orgasmic pleasure roll through our bodies and watch this pleasure as well as feel it accumulate and release throughout our lovers. Yet because sex and pleasure are so taboo in society we really have no idea what we are doing and how best to achieve maximum results from ourselves or with a partner(s). This is especially the case with women and their vajaja’s.

It has been statistically stated that over 60% of women say that they know VERY little about their vaginas. And if this is true then how is it possible for men to ever have a sound knowledge of how to please us or our vulvas/vaginas?

The main reason for us women to not have a strong understanding of our most intimate pleasure palace is because since we were small children our parents and society have been telling us that, “ladies, don’t touch themselves like that.” “Ladies, don’t sit like that, or think those things, eat like that, crave that, act like that, and so on and so forth.” Yet young boys can run around without a shirt on, and touch themselves, groan, grunt, fart, make jokes and even if they get busted masturbating we say as a society, “boy’s will be boy’s.” We assume that because a boy does not have fatty tissue and milk ducts in the same way that a girl does that his bare chest is not obscene. So why do we find our bodies obscene anyway? Do we find the body of our new born infant something that is grotesque and obscene? Do we look at a baby’s bottom as something that is yucky? NO. We adore these sweet “innocent” moments in our children’s youth. Girl or boy we see the beauty, we embrace the sweetness and we adore each moment, yet as a child ages we shame our children into believing that their flesh is something to feel bad about. We teach them this and yet they sit down and every underwear, perfume, condom, and even many food, travel and alcohol commercials tell them that the flesh is something to crave and pleasure. The mixed programming causes us to mistrust society, our peers, our lovers and most of all OURSELVES.

Somewhere in the middle of these two opposite messages is the truth of what we as humans NEED. There is nothing wrong, shameful, disgusting, obscene or otherwise ill about anyone’s body or longing to feel pleasure in any form of the sense. What is wrong is to suppress these longings and shun then as though they were demons, causing self-hatred and sexual dysfunctions. Only through self-love can we truly learn to open and love another. And in our self-loving we embrace our human needs and desires for pleasure. We learn to heal through pleasure, both giving and receiving it and we open the doorway to new paradigms of relationship in all areas of our life.

Opening My Petals to Shame

In my youth I was very inquisitive about my vulva and vagina and still am. I was amazed by every aspect of it. To the point that I would get my little boy friend to help me explore all of its petals. I wanted to experience what everything felt like. Much like a baby who puts everything in its mouth to discover what it is, I was playfully experiencing myself. I loved playing doctor or trying to reenact something that I had seen on the television in some movie or something. I was nosey as heck and dug through my father’s “personal” space and found some old Playboys that had beautiful pictures of naked or partially nude women. I adored looking at these pictures and of course even in my youth I compared what mine looked like to the models.

Luckily for me I grew up in a household where my mother was an older mom and was from Europe. My father was an out of the box thinker, whom often disagreed with societal norms even though he was extremely logical and programmed by a long genealogy of structure and societal standings. My mother was extremely open about sex with me and was more than willing to share her personal stories and answer any questions I might bring up. Yet, even though she was open about the topic she still was damaged and needed her own healing. She could only answer for me and share with me to the point of her understanding and level of consciousness about sex and pleasure. And because she was my mother, she also had the nurturing worry that goes with the god given job. She wanted my safety and she wanted me to be smart about things. So there were plenty of times that I experienced shame in my youth from just exploring myself. Each time I got caught playing house or doctor in the nude with my little boyfriend, I felt shame. Every time I was interrupted in my shower masturbation games or bathtub pleasuring acts, I felt shame and embarrassment. When I took one of my dad’s Playboy’s to school in the 4^th grade (a parochial Catholic school) and got busted by my teacher, I felt tremendous embarrassment, now I had not only shamed myself but my parents as well. Each time I played up some steamy hot sex scenes with my barbies and my mom or dad walked in, I felt shame. Slowly as years past I learned that it was not acceptable to look at, touch, play with, explore or share these parts of myself. I became shameful and embarrassed of myself!!! My flesh, my internal word, my desires and my pleasures. So I suppressed them for the most part.

Even in my early sexual relationships I could not fully open to the pleasure and love that was before me. I was fearful that my lover would think poorly of my hungers. I was afraid that if I shared in great detail what I really wanted to experience or how I wanted or where I wanted to be touched, kissed, pleasured that my lover would think I was disgusting or crazy. I was concerned over the potential loss of this lover more then I was concerned about sharing pleasure in fullness with them. Of course, my lover would ask me, “What are your fantasies, your desires. How do you want to be touched? Does that feel good?” But I did not know if I could honestly answer and not be judged. And in a few occasions I did allow myself to be revealed and felt tremendous pleasure, but because of my back programs I woke the following morning questioning myself and feeling strange about my pleasure. As if it was wrong.

Healing through the Pleasure Palace

My story is similar to many women’s tales. Granted there is so much more to all of our stories and programming then this short overview and many of us women have suffered through some sort of sexual trauma that has only supported our shame, embarrassment and self-hatred or misunderstanding. Yet at some point in all of our lives we find ourselves at a crossroad, asking “What’s wrong with us?”

Why am I not happy?

Why does sex not feel good to me?

Why do I feel addicted to sex yet not satisfied from sex?

Why do I always attract the same type of man?

Why can I not love myself more, feel life more, connect more?

Why am I not getting over ________?

Why is that a good book or movie and bowl of my favorite yummieness is better than sex with my lover?

Why am I so emotionally unstable?

Why can’t I have an orgasm?

Why do I always fake it?

Does any of this really matter anyway?

The answer to these questions and many others can be discovered on a sexual healing path. One that leads us women into the depths of our vaginal canals where we can discover a great pool of self-love, healing, passion, feeling, intimacy and all sorts of forms of pleasure. Only through going into the source of where we store our repressed emotions, our shame and fears can we learn how to release them in a safe and loving fashion and fully except ourselves. By doing this we can call into our lives lovers, friends, and life partners that will except us and support us at the level that we need.

Any woman who finds the courage to take the step down a sexual healing path will quickly awaken to how powerful the path is and then to how powerful SHE is! In Tantra and many other sexuality practices such as One Taste, the first steps to healing come from revealing our petals and allowing another to actually accept us in a non-sexual, loving fashion. The immense healing energy of having yourself revealed fully, to be naked in every sense of the word in front of another human being and then to hear them say, “ You are beautiful, divine, perfect.” To hear them describe what they see in total acceptance and unconditional love as though they were marveling at some famous painters work. This step on the path to healing starts the opening of our hearts to ourselves. It allows for us to experience ourselves in a way many of us woman have not.

The sexual path of healing is a long and ever changing one. An individual has to be willing to not expect an outcome in any particular time-frame and has to be willing to face their inner darkness as well as their inner beauty within any given moment. The emotions, thoughts, ego and the soul of what comes up for us is something new each time. With each session we open ourselves a crack more and allow for more trauma to be released and greater pleasure to be expanded upon within us. We “clear” slowly the many levels of our psyche and physical blockages to pleasure and within time learn to open up the channels to our souls and heart.

As we walk this orgasmic path of healing we release shame of our vaginas. We learn to embrace our flesh and our desires. We come into communion with our higher selves. Here in the valley of our vagina we discover our pleasure, our truth.

In the unmasking of this truth we awaken to our divine nature. Through, its unveiling process of sexual healing practices we also open the book of personal knowledge and become that child again, exploring ourselves, giving ourselves permission to feel, to taste, to look, to act, to PLAY and to embrace others to do the same.

We stop fearing and we start living! Living the abundant, orgasmic, pleasurable life that we were intended on having. With our orgasm we gift this world with love and radiance. We increase happiness and connection. With our ability to receive pleasure we gift our lovers with an intensity of passion and creative energy. We reveal to them our self-love and acceptance and thus show them a vast horizon of pleasure, love and acceptance for them as well. Here is the gate of intimacy! Even if it is with a first time lover…

–KW

March 27, 2013January 24, 2019

Extra Relationship Energy – By Janet Kira Lessin

Earlier this month while Rose, my female lover, furiously rode my husband during a love-in, my body felt that old familiar pain in my gut and my heart once again. I silently collapsed in defeat. Jealousy! When will I ever be done with that ‘ol green-eyed monster?

“I can’t ever possibly compete with that,” I thought as I watched them, peeking between my fingers. “They’re so involved; so wild in their passion, they don’t even notice me and how miserable I feel!”

What chemistry do they experience when they feel that wildness, connection, joy? It looks like, but no, it couldn’t be could it? Could it be … NRE–new relationship energy?

Wait a minute here. My husband had been involved with Coyote and Rose for about 15 years! This was not a new relationship by any means. I met Sash, moved in with and married him. A month later, he introduced me to his lovers, Coyote and Rose. So, if anything, Sasha and I are the ones who possibly still have NRE, not Sasha and Rose!

But here it is, obviously, an energy that is still there for them after all these years.

I had been in two long-term monogamous relationships, 12 years each, spanning 24 years of MY adult life. I know how sexual excitement fades, how lovemaking becomes routine, stale, perhaps even boring. In those monogamous days of my life, I contemplated that “swingers” probably maintained the excitement in their love life by bringing that new, novel energy back home to their beds.

And what of my observations of Sasha and Rose, long, long time lovers? Their energy “felt” to me like NRE. I was jealous. Does he have something different with Rose and not with me-his wife, his buddy, his companion, his lover, his confidant? Perhaps there is a “key” here. What do they have together that Sasha and I don’t have?

Could they be so passionate because they don’t live together? Could it have something to do with the frequency of their encounters? And if there is a different energy for those who are infrequent lovers, perhaps we need to coin yet another phrase?

How about ERE? External Relationship Energy? Extraneous Relationship Energy? Extramarital Relationship Energy? Perhaps OPE: Outside Primary Energy?

Familiarity breeds contempt, doesn’t it? My husband and I counsel couples, triads and moresomes, so I’ve heard all the stories. I’ve also read hundreds of emails and had hundreds of emails, chats and instant messages from people bored with sex with their mates. Many complain “My wife (or husband) won’t make love with me anymore.” The neglected mate often goes out and cheats and feels justified for their actions. “We started out so passionate, so in love. What happened?”

What I think happens is we pent up resentments. Pent-up resentments create distance in our relationships. We always create resentments; we can’t help it. When we’re primary lovers with someone, we inevitably resent them.

We resent our lovers because we’re in the thrall of negative bonding patterns–repeated sour interactions fueled by our childhood conditioning. We react to our lovers as though they were our mothers, fathers or siblings.

We and our partners are imago mates, deeply imprinted, desired soul mates who complete each other, who give touch, sensitivity, intimacy and respect we still need but didn’t get (the way we wanted) from parents. The catch to lovers who could heal our hurts with parents is that our lovers could disappoint us again if they don’t do better than Mom and Dad. Our imago mates resemble our caretakers–not necessarily physically–but emotionally, psychologically and energetically.

Our imago mates mirror us, reflect our disowned subpersonalities, our inner voices. They show us disowned aspects of ourselves we need to use to center ourselves. They mirror underdeveloped parts of our humanity; they do this by what they do or how they are that we envy or hate.

Here’s how this operates for me and Sasha. He snaps at me because he’s scared ex-wife Joan will get our house. He’s upset by that but snaps at me. He morphs into an irritable father. I become withdrawn daughter, then angry mother. He reacts as rebel adolescent. We stick in a parent/adult/parent/adult vicious cycle till we center ourselves, apologize, reconnect and make love wholeheartedly again.

Sometimes partners find that though they forgave each other verbally, resentment lurks within and eventually kills sexual desire. They create internal scoring systems. She hits the “One Too Many Resentments” button and they separate.

We overcome our difficulties and survive in our relationships, react less to our lovers’ predicaments, and learn new ways to enrich ourselves by learning from our lovers. We learn, grow and appreciate our mates more. How do we prevent resenting the heck out of one another over time? How do we keep that passion of NRE or infrequent relationship alive in our primary pair bond?

I suffered jealousy for days; I ranted at Sasha. I penned a 7-page “hate” letter to Rose! (how dare she, that Bitch!). I analyzed my reactions with Sash and Rose when they came over. We’d focused on pleasing them and showing them a good time. But we lost feeling of being connected to each other. I resolved to return to Sasha during water and bathroom breaks. We’d bring each other the passion we’d just shared with our Rose and Coyote. We’d keep returning to each other. Sash enthusiastically agreed.

I keep communication lines wide open with Sash as loving, tactful and honest as I can. We stay orgasmic, follow our tantric practices twice daily, we can also enjoy sexual diversity and simultaneously keep linked to each other. Then we bring the electricity of other loves to each other.

Janet Kira Lessin: Original Post No Longer Available

February 14, 2013January 24, 2019

When do I get my pump, pump, oooh, goo? by Scott B.

Recently I came across a post in a discussion group by a male who was expressing confusion and frustration on focusing on his pleasure. His question was also how to focus on his pleasure and hers at the same time There are many different ways that this can be answered. What I believe the core of the problem to be is more widespread than just the pleasure question.

In my experience there is a belief, by males, that there is no difference between orgasm and climax. This is not true, we are never taught the difference, because talking about sex is considered taboo. So let’s strip away the taboo and deal with the concept of orgasm does not equal ejaculation. You can experience orgasm without climax, you can experience climax without orgasm. In my mind and experience the former is preferable. If a man can learn to move the sexual energy that gets built up in the genital region before climax he can get to the point of experiencing multiple orgasms without approaching ejaculation. Most guys spill over the edge of climax for several reasons.

The first and most important reason is lack of being in the moment and experiencing the pleasure of the intimate act with the partner. I would hazard a guess that most guys are already focused on “getting some” before the act is even certain and with ejaculation being the end goal.

To experience complete pleasure requires retraining the body and the mind to experience the depth and nuances of pleasure without focusing on the end goal of e ejaculation David Deida refers to this kind of friction sex as “pump, pump ooooh, goo” Once you have retrained the body and the mind not to see ejaculation/climax as the goal of sex you can start to learn new patterns and your body will let you know when releasing energy via ejaculation is necessary.

There is no clean cut answer on how often a male should ejaculate as each body is different and will require different levels of energy retention and recycling. It will also depend on environmental factors, age, weight, diet, & general level of health. When ejaculation becomes a conscious choice instead of an expectation the true experience of pleasure can begin to be understood and felt.

It is important to keep in mind we can’t unlearn the patterns that we’ve built up over our lifetimes to this point. We did not learn how to walk, talk, ride a bike in a day. This is no different. It is a process of learning your body and how to open up to the sensations of pleasure. As they stated in a class that I recently took. When we learn to expand the container of the experience the more you can fit into that container. This includes sensations, thoughts, perceptions etc.

Like with anything else this will take conscious effort and practice.

You might have noticed that I have not mentioned to this point focusing on the woman’s pleasure. The reason for that is I don’t believe the posters confusion or frustration is centered anywhere other than himself. While it may be seen as chivalrous or forward thinking to focus solely on the woman’s pleasure first, by that very act you take away from the pleasure of the experience for both partners. So I am going to suggest that before any man asks the question of how to pleasure a woman, they first ask the question of accepting pleasure within themselves and what the intent they are taking into the experience is. Is it to share a beautiful moment of intimacy and deep connection with another human being, or are you focused on your climax?

ORIGINAL ARTICLE published on Authentic Living.com

December 7, 2012August 2, 2013

SCIENCE IS DISCOVERING THE POWER OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD

Gnostic Christians used to call their religion Synesaktism – another word for Agape – which means ‘The Way of Shaktism’, referring to Tantric Yoni-Worship.

One of the most important rituals was preparing a ‘drink of immortality’ made from menstrual blood, which is full of healing stem cells, which can actually activate our cellular capacity to regenerate and transport us to endocrine states of rapture. Or in a spiritual sense open us to the Frequency of Love and Eternal Life, transporting us to another Dimension – called Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana etc.

This ‘Love Feast’ or ‘Sacred Marriage’ – a core part of the Menstrual Mysteries – was eventually declared a heresy and women were barred from participating in Christian rites.

However the ‘Power of Renewal, Rebirth, and Resurrection’ previously associated with the Holy Womb and Menstrual Blood of the Divine Mother was transferred to the story of Jesus and his ritual of Eucharist – ‘hic est sanguis meus – this is the Chalice of my Blood’ – where worshippers ‘drank his blood’ to gain the power of Rebirth through him.

In most ancient myths and religions, throughout the world dating back hundreds of thousands of years, the power of rebirth had always been a blessing of the Feminine Womb – embodied and gifted by Sacred Womb Priestesses across many cultures. It had never been held by a man. Although there are many legends about the ‘menstrual powers of female shamans’ being stolen by male gods.

The Holy Grail, in its true original essence, is the Womb.

Women born many, many thousands of years ago in what we might called ‘Original Innocence’ – before many of our genetic capabilities went offline, held this power naturally, as a birthright, shared with their tribes in renewal rituals.

Since those times, once the birthright was lost, women across many lineages and cultures – Womb Priestesses – have practiced many varied ways to heal, clear and open the Womb, so it can once again embody the frequency of Love, of Original Innocence, so that the energetic and physical stem cell capacity can activate purer states of consciousness and activate incredible regenerative healing. This knowledge has been almost lost over the last thousand years, as it has been fragmented, scattered and deliberately destroyed.

Now it is desiring to return, to ‘renew our lands’ as the myths go.

Earlier this year Dr Azra Bertrand and I met with a top international research scientist working with menstrual blood stem cells. His research indicated they had the capacity to work ‘miracles’. He described how the first time he used Menstrual Blood Stem Cells he felt like he had been ‘reborn’ – an unfit man in his late fifties, he’d had to run around the block because he had so much energy.

Another research scientist in his sixties working with stem cells had experienced his hair change from grey to the black of his youth in a matter of months. Throughout the world, in secret, these experiments are happening – in China, Russia, India, and more.

Whilst women are giving their power away to patriarchal ideologies, taking drugs to stop their menstrual cycle, using cancer-causing chemical bleached tampons to stem the flow, seeing their Menses as an inconvenient ‘curse’ they are ashamed of, male scientists around the world are using the power to experience states of physical and spiritual high.

Isn’t it time we reclaimed our power? Fountain of Life will have much more to say about this subject in 2013!

Please circulate and share the information.

First seen on: Sensual Bliss Voyager

November 12, 2012January 24, 2019

Pleasure Psychotherapy

I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov’s Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?

Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the “no pain, no gain” school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy. This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground roller-coaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cuing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.

Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and care-giving weren’t there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(www.aitherapy.org) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.

So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow, (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi); a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.

So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see www.tantricpsychotherapy.com )

Martin is London based psychotherapist

The Serenade of the Boogie Monster

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” – Chief Seattle, 1854

I am always amazed at how these Naked Musings come about. If I believed in coincidence then I would say it was such, but I don’t believe in coincidences so instead I look at all events (moment to moment in my life) as signs. Everything that comes to us may we perceive it to be good or bad is perfect as it is, fore in these moments great lessons are being provided for us.

Many years ago I can recall a time that I was extremely judgmental. I remember sitting at my mother-in-laws house in Northern California and listening to some gossip about my sister in law. The tale was that she was having an affair on her husband, my husband’s brother. The family was in uproar at this and I felt as though I should be too. After all it was sinful. She had broken the oath of marriage between her and her husband. She had betrayed him with another and then she denied it. Another sin most likely being set before her jury, all of us who were worthy of casting these stones. There we sat judging her for her actions, condemning her in every way possible. But as it states in Matthew 7:1-6 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. A lesson I was soon to learn for myself. Unhappy in my marriage, lost in my life, and out of love with myself it would happen that temptation would fall at my feet a few short years later. Here a man that actually irritated me but could make me laugh found his way into my heart at a deeper level then just the friend that he had been for a few years. He was a strongly religious man as well. As if that matters when our souls want to taste life and bliss without the constraints of society. Yes as though we were on a dance floor we found ourselves twirling in the blissful, fun adventure known as an affair. At first I too denied my guilt. I lied to my family, to my husband. In my mind I told myself that it was best that I do not share the truth as it would be to harmful, to painful for them. I was doing them a favor and protecting them. In truth I was fearful of the judgment that would come, from them not from God. In my gut when I asked myself if this event would cast me into outer darkness or have me dancing with Satan I knew that God loved me and that the only punishment that I would ever really experience from this life event would be that from which I opened myself to and put upon myself. I knew also that I had brought this upon myself, not from making love to a man that I enjoyed and brought me many a memorable spiritual moment and gifted me with much beauty but because I was so harsh in my judgment of my sister in law. Here I had set in motion my lesson. My task was to have compassion for her and for all. My task was to love myself just a splash as much as the Creator loves me. In this I would discover freedom and salvation.

If we each could just embrace that we are the creators of what is to come. It is also in our perceptions that we manifest how we experience the world. If we choose to hold ill feelings toward anyone, including ourselves then we find ourselves in chaos, suffering and separated from love.

We experience negative emotion when we come into a point of view that is in disagreement with the point of view of our Creator. Meaning that our ego has gotten us to deviate from that which our higher self, our “Light” knows. In other words if you could hate someone and your inner being empathizes in that hate and joins you in it you would not feel any separation from the Light (creator) and you would not experience any negative emotion. But you do!

Negative emotion is a vibrational contradiction between the way of ego and the love of the Creator. So if your inner being, the God within, your Christ Consciousness (whatever you choose to call it) will not join you in one adverse thought what is the truth behind the theory of a day of reckoning? Why do we feel that we can cast stones and live in separation from the light but that those who according to our perspective are acting out of accordance with the laws of the land are the real sinners and should “pay” for what they have done?

How is that we come to believe that the God that we strive to love and please so deeply could hate? It’s implausible and we know it is so at our core. Fearing god? Do we want our children to fear us or to love us? Do we want to destroy our children’s lives or to support them and teach them how to manifest lives of abundance and happiness? Made in the image of the creator shares the truth that the concept of fearing God is not of Divine intention but of the ego. It is a form of controlling spirit while it is experiencing a physical life. The only thing fear does in its control is cause suffering. Truly by succumbing to the concept that God judges or disapproves of us in any way sets our lives into chaos and ruin.

I will allow you to control my behavior to suit your needs by using this fallacious boogie monster in the closet. This is what traditional puritan cultural views from rewritten texts of sacred codes want us to believe so that we are passive, paralyzed sheep instead of the Divine beings that we are!

We are free Light beings. What is true freedom though? Freedom is the releasing of control. Recently a sweet Goddess I know shared a symbolic event with me. She was watching some birds in formation flying. As they flew they held formation but within a second they broke free, they took to the skies in their own directions, gaining individual perspective on the land. Birds are wonderful teachers, they understand unity and how together they can travel and be carried faster while experience less struggle because they are united in flight, yet they also allow for individual freedom of experience without judgment.

Freedom is the releasing of control. The releasing of fear and the coming into alignment with the creator, with that inner being of light. As we allow ourselves to become free we increase our vibration and align perfectly with the creator, the God who loves us and has and always will love us. This loving creator at the time of our conception knew that in this physical world we would have to experience contrasts and that this experience would assist us in our expansion. Unlike the Creator whom is limitless we have broken away from our ability to embrace fulfillment and our divine limitless birth right by imposing ego based structures upon ourselves and expecting these structures to protect us and to control the free nature of others as well, thus causing us to become prisoners of our ego based desire to be righteous for the sake of pride instead of being righteous through grace and unconditional love as that of the creator.

When we look at the doctrine of so many religions for the love of God we are in fact looking away from it. It’s when we are told by these dogmatic rule based controllers how we are to be that we have to pause and take notice of what our heart, our gut is saying. Is there something that just makes you feel unsettled? Unloved? Not accepted? Judged if you were truthful about who you are or what your life experience has been? That nasty pit in your stomach at moments like this is your soul saying that if you buy into these ways that you will be disallowing for the fullness of the love, the worthiness and the peace of the Creator which you are a part of. When you hear these cries of spirit and you learn to attune yourself to this perfection of love instead of the suffering of ego NO ONE will ever be able to persuade you to live out of soul integrity again.

October 4, 2012August 2, 2013

Through the Looking Glass: Past Lives, Present Journeys

I crossed a stone bridge in the mist and as I came to the other side I was transported into a life I once knew. Gazing down at my feet I saw beautiful gold threads wrapping around them but no shoes. I knew I was a woman. I felt young, happy, and light bodied. Full of energy and love.

I was in love!

I looked around the room, it was just incredible, full of rich colors, reds, gold, browns, many intricate designs embroidered on the materials and lots of sheer curtains. A smell of incense in the air. A large grey beast sat in the middle of my room. It was not an elephant, but large. I never paid attention to its face, although I know it had a head dress on of some sort. At first thought I must be in India or perhaps a similar culture.

I was dancing around in circles.

Joyously.

I had such beautiful long dark hair and there were all these veils of color hanging from my head. My skirt was beautiful, the colors and design swirled around me in a cosmic dance of fashion.

I danced and danced.

Without conscious thought, I was transported to the scene of my death. A large man with rippling muscles stood beside where I lay. As I looked up into his face I could bearly see his eyes for the strange headdress. He was holding my arms above my head firmly, I felt another holding my legs down. I was laying upon some sort of rock/stone alter. There this “high priest” (I am assuming) with a wooden staff that had feathers and beads hanging from it said something about my sacrifice.

Emotions were running wild at this point. I could feel the anxiety in my heart. Why had I wanted this? What was I doing? Was is right? Was it really for a higher purpose or for not?

I was still young and in love.

I recall the damn love. Damning it for the pain I was feeling. The loss I would once again feel. I gazed out over this vast, lush, beautiful green valley where my people stand below. It was a tropical forest created by the hands of the Gods. It was my death place. Looking out into the crowd, tears in my eyes I found the returning look my heart was longing for. Locking in on a young man, incredibly handsome. Dark beautiful skin, muscles toned perfectly, black shiny hair down to his shoulders. He smiled at me and my heart returned the smile as well as my face.

As the smile lifted my soul to the heavens I was quickly reminded of the pain that we can expereince in this realm; a sharp burning sensation below my ribs took over my consciousness….

As though time did not exist I found myself floating above my people. Over my lovers head, looking back from my aerial view I could see a stone pyramid shaped temple. Steps leading up to where I had just died. I heard cheering and then was whisked away and began to come back to an awake state of being in current “reality.”

“Perhaps expereince is the driving force that brings us back. Or perhaps learning something begets the desire to learn more, and learning more begets the desire to learn everything there is to know.” – P.S. Berg, Wheels of a Soul

Our past lives have a way of bringing us valuable lessons in times we least expect it. And with each visit of a past life we will re-learn a lesson and also be invited to awaken to another. This was the exact case for me during my Sacred Voyage to Maui. Little did I expect to be visited by the above past life regression. Years ago I had done massive regression work to release my bondage to certain fears and discover the meaning of some important relationships in this current life that I knew had carried their energies from past. This particular regression opened up some interesting insights; from a fear of dancing to the saga of loosing love that seems to have rippled through lifetimes.

Maui brought home the fact that I was not yet done learning and releasing from this above life.

The morning was fresh when we decided it was time to journey away to the first of many sacred vortexes. As Greg “Magick” Bernstein and I drove down the pot hole filled road he looked at me and shared that the sight he was being guided to take me he had not taken anyone for many a year. Uncertain as to why he was being guided to do so, he shared some of the history of the sight. Known as the Temple Gathering Place of the High Supernatural’s, this was the site where the last human sacrifice of Maui was done.

However before we venture into the realm of sacrifice and worship, we must first prepare our physical beings. Protection, Appreciation, Understanding, and Honor. These things he would cover with me in Iao Valley Park. There beneath the trees, beside the running river of time, we sat and talked. Among the tales shared was one perfect for the birthing of the adventure at hand. One that not even Magick knew as of yet.

“Once there was a couple who sat and watched a cat in the weeds and flowers. The woman said, ‘Oh, look honey, the cat is smelling the flowers.’ The man looked over to the cat and said, ‘He is not smelling the flowers, he is peeing on them.’ The woman said,’ Well that is not how I see it in my reality!” (Story adapted from the one Greg shared)

Two different realities.

Providing spiritual clarity as to why he was guiding to this temple, I shared my above regression.

Once we were prepared we ventured off to the temple. At our arrival the gates were closed. Magick looked at me and asked me to sense if we were to continue or not. It was my intuitive call. I called out to spirit and was told to move forward. As I crossed through the gates my heart began to hurt. It quickly became unbearable, almost as though it was being ripped out of my chest. As we rounded a curve on the path my eyes set out on the remains of two adjoining temples that commanded a view that when build I am sure was spectacular. Stepped stones that towered above a below stream almost covered in overgrowth, this pyramid like sacrificial mound took in the view of ocean, valley and high country. The energy that released from its blood soiled ground was strangely peaceful and even calming to my being although my heart chakra did not stop vibrating with its intensity until I found my meditation place. Here looking back at the sacrificial site from a vista point of stepped stonework I sat. Back to the sun, breathing in the universe and allowing the four winds to dance with my ethereal being. As my soul danced and listened I heard the call of spirit. Particularly the call of Snake.

There in front of me grew a bush up through the ancient stones. Upon it was a small white pod of sorts. It sorta looked like a wishing weed. Spirit was asking me to take one and eat it. I argued with spirit out of fear, out of doubt. “How crazy to hear spirit telling me to eat some strange plant at a death site. Yeah most likely not the best of all ideas.” But with each argument the winds would blast me from different directions, pressing themselves into me and the vision of snakes within the stones would grow stronger. Spirit was speaking! Loud too.

Finally I asked permission from land and plant to pick the small pod flower. However chose not to eat it. Asking spirit if I had to, I was answered with a vision. The vision was of a dark cave, rocks, fallen trees, moss and tall grasses. I had no idea as to where this was so asked Spirit to share this vision with my guide, Magick.

Through time and space our many lives ripple into each other.

Even science is starting to realize that what we believe is our reality,

more than likely is nothing more than an illusion. Through the awareness

of our previous lives and the lessons that we still need to learn from them

and the strengths that we can harvest, we can not only advance our own

growth and light energy but also our healing. As we heal, accept and learn

to value those things that we in times before thought limiting or nonsense

we too can learn to love and share more freely in this life; creating more positive

manifestations for our current reality.

Through the looking glass of time, I was blessed with a beautiful opportunity to face

my fears, my doubts and my heart. Here at the sacred site of death, I sacrificed my old

self for the birth of a new reality. One where, my heart would no longer carry the fear

it had for so many life times but instead would call out to the heavens and LEAD my

current incarnation. There is only so much wisdom we are allowed to gather at one

given time, and with each drop of this wisdom we must always realize that the birthing

of our new reality will not come without first a death… Here is where we must have

CERTAINTY and KNOW that we are not alone. Perhaps we cannot see all that is to

come to pass with each choice we make, however the Creator can!

“Even the wisest cannot tell that a mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are and things that have not come to pass.” (Galadriel, Lord of the Rings)