WOMEN WHO ARE BAD IN BED SHOW SIMILAR SIGNS.

WOMEN WHO ARE BAD IN BED SHOW SIMILAR SIGNS.

Sex is fucking fun to me.
If with the right person that is.
I can be really fun and adventurous in bed and I can be boring as well.
It really depends on how into the person I am,
if I am caught up in my head,
if I can trust the person I am having sex with and to what level,
if I feel like they can handle all aspects of me.
and of course the chemistry, the connection, that energetic spark.
If it is there then I am more than likely going to be far more “fun” than if I am trying to create a spark that is not really there for whatever reason,
like seeing how great a guy is or how awesome a catch he is but not having that natural primal spark.

When I have all the stars aligned,
and am with someone then it’s certainly adventurous and playful,
There is communication happening from body to voice and desires are shared and asked for.

Which I have found not a ton of men expereince in sex with women.
I have been told repeatedly by just a few hands full of men,
lol… we are not getting into my body count today.
That I make sex extra enjoyable.
That my partner can feel me fully with them.

So I decided to start to inquire with my current and past lovers about this topic to get a greater depth,
wanting to know what it is about my sexing and relating style that keeps guys hooked for decades and knocking at my door to see if I am open to more with them. What has landed me with many men wanting to commit so eagerly?

Here is what I came up with:

WHEN I AM INTO A MAN I TURN UP MY KISSING –
I have been told that I am a bad kisser by a few guys over the years, or meh kisser, nothing special and I have been told that I made a guy cum just from a kiss and left mystery and desire with a kiss. The difference that I have figured out is my openness to the man and my attraction to him, my desire for him. If I am not feeling it then I am a shitty kisser, and if I am feeling it then get ready for mind blowing. I believe that this is true for many people of both sexes however. Then there are the people who are just crappy kissers in general, they have no rhythm, they show no passion, they do not know how to get fully engaged in a kiss. An old lover/friend of mine who is from the UK always has told me that I understand snogging, (kissing with intent). I believe that this is a key secret to mind blowing kissing, can you make your partner feel as though you are ravishing them in bed just by kissing them? Women who suck in bed cannot.

I LET MY LOVER KNOW WHAT I WANT IN BED NON-VERBALLY PRETTY GOOD… AND IF HE DOES NOT GET IT I SPEAK IT!
When I have good or great chemistry with someone then our non-verbal communication is on point. I have learned and have pretty much always been that woman who is not afraid to take a man’s hand or cock and put them right where I want, let alone wrap myself however feels best to me and grind how I desire. Recently an old lover/friend of mine said to me, “You know you are a switch.” For those of you who are not familiar with this term it means that I switch from dominant to submissive in sex. And yes I am just that. I love a good power play in bed. It also requires one to have pretty good non-vevrbal communication skills and a sense of playfulness and confidence.

Women who are bad in bed have trouble communicating verbally and nonverbally. They fumble and feel insecure, often presenting a rag doll or limp noodle version of themselves because they are uncertain as to how or what to do. Women who cannot communicate non-verbally in bed are not good at increasing sexual tension through their eye contact, body language, breathing and actions. I have found that non-verbal communication in bed is a great sign as to how good chemistry and energetic connection is with a partner. One of my longest sexual relationships would always share with me that he loved how our bodies engaged and I always moved with him in perfect rhythm.

I AM EXTREMELY VERBAL ABOUT MY SEXING AND DESIRES, PAST, PRESENT AND WANTING FOR THE FUTURE.

I read awhile back about a study done about women who could not talk about sex opennly and how that related to their sexual confidence. It was stated that open relating about sex showed a persons comfort with their sexuality and desires. Which would also lead to a sign that someone is more likely to be fun and tuned into sex better. I have heard from many men over the course of the years how they wish women would share more about what they want, need and desire sexually and how so many women shut down around actual communication or questioning. Funny how us ladies will talk to our girl friends about what is happening in the bedroom but we won’t talk to the people we are actually having sex with in such candid fashion. Women who talk about sex are more confident in bed. Not to mention sex is just better if you can get a little vocal and not freak the fuck out about someone hearing you or what anyone thinks.

I LOVE BEING NAKED AS WELL AS CLOTHED.
Sexual confidence can be seen outside of the bedroom and it is not just about nudity, however it certainly can show up here most because women in general have a massive amount of body images. Self included. But can you let go of the insecurities that you have and surrender to the moment. Can you learn to truly love yourself no matter your imperfections. A woman who shows signs of insecurity in other areas of her life will more than likely have insecurities in the bedroom. If she is struggling with money, health, body, feeling worthy or lovable, then you will see this come out in her sexing as well. She will struggle to drop down and be able to connect at any real level. Your sexing will feel shallow with her, making for a poor lover.

I LOVE AN ADVENTURE.
Adventurous women are sexually fun women I believe and so I have been told by men. Just the other day a man looked at me and said, ” You are one of those fun women.” This was said after we had shared a deeply profound and passion driven few hours together without any sex. When we are open to experimenting, to play and adventure in our lives we are more likely to explore in the bedroom as well. Having sex in the same manor all the time, getting into the same routine or not being open to oral sex, exploration of any sort shows a person who is boring in bed. Women are more known to shut this arena down then men, making for a dimmer sex life.

SEX IS ABOUT HUMOR AS WELL AS PASSION.

I laugh a lot in sex. I laugh about the very human things that can take place such as queefing, passing gas, burping, sweating and accidents that cause things to break like your bed or a lamp. When I have had a few orgasms I get a real high and laughter rolls from me easily in my sex, I giggle like a school girl as I am cumming sometimes and may throw myself into a sneezing fit, I have been known to cough or sneeze my partner right out of my body as well as squirt so much female ejaculate that the whole bed had to be replaced ( that happened for reals in Mexico one time). Sex is messy. There is no space for OCD, there is no space for fear of being human, and there is no space in good sex for insecurities around sex related humor. I am very serious when I say if your woman is playful then you are more than likely going to have fun in bed, if she is overly caught up in fear of being seen or making a mistake then you will most likely not be happy in bed with her.

A woman who is passionate about life will be more likely to show passion in bed as well.
If your woman is lost in life and uncertain about who she is or her life purpose, then she will show this in bed too and be uncertain and cautious with her passion. She may even not be able to feel passion in sex as it is such a foregin things for her.

WHAT YOU EAT YOUR PARTNER CONSUMES TOO.

Diet and exercise. OMFG! Don’t get me started. This is vitally important and I cannot image sex with a woman who does not take care of her diet and exercise being very pleasent let a lone good. To put it simply, why would you ever expect your man to desire you sexually if your pH is all sorts of out of whack, making your vaginal juices and body odor to breath nasty. What we eat plays such a big role in our sex and as I just recenlt told one man, ” Clean eating is sexy.” Our diets say a lot about our overall health, emotional and mental as well and physical. Eating healthy helps to stabilize hormones and guarantees a healthy gut which is where 80% of our immune system comes from. Eating shit foods causes yeast infections, bacterial infections and more. Not fun for sexing for sure. And exercise provides us with the ability to have better stamina and flexibility, so that we can comfortably maintain a playful moment with our partner.
Women who disregaurd their health for whatever reason are uncaring of their sex as well.
An older lover of mine would often say to me that I had a pampered pussy. When I asked what he meant by this he shared that he loved going down on me because he knew how I pampered her with my diet choices, hygiene and exercise for my whole body as well as my vaginal exercises that I consistently do. He made it clear that he loved what he was enjoying and he shared it was not normal.

I have heard from many men over the years that they are fearful of going down on a woman because of hygiene and bodily smells and tastes. This applies to men as well, no fun for us ladies if you guys are not conscientious. Clean eating is fucking sexy!

Okay, so there is my little share from what I have learned from current and past lovers.

Everything shared here pertains to men as well.
A man who is good in bed will be aware of these things as well.
Where a man who is not good in his sexing and does not have the consciousness to be aware of these things will prove to have all the same challenges that a woman does who sucks in bed.

Making your sex life gourmet has more to do with your confidence, ability to find humor in life and let things go, play and explore, be adventourous and knowi yourself as well as a desire to take care of yourself and communicate then it does with what you choose to wear, what your body figure is actually like, your age or how great you deem your physical skills.

A great lover knows that CONNECTION is primary,
COMMUNICATION is secondary,
and KNOWING YOURSELF AND LOVING YOURSELF is key.

How do you rate your sex?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

October Asskickery Month is almost upon us.
Are you wanting to make some changes in your life, love or sex?
Want to take action but do not know where to start?
Need a swift kick to get what you want?
Reach out to me about this global opportunity to have that F-ck Yes Life that you are wanting for now.

 

The Feminine Needs Bubble Wrap

vulnerabilityI am a strong, powerful, willful woman who has been called a “force of nature” by many. And today, if I was to a be a vase, packed into a box for shipping – I would need extra bubble wrap around me today. My skin actually hurts.

I would need the card board box to be firm and hard. I wouldn’t suggest putting me in an airplane. I would require a delivery man. I am feeling that fragile.

It’s the kind of fragile that can make mistakes. I’m the kind of fragile that can make me feel like I won’t be delivered safely. That somehow, I will fall like the vase to the ground and shatter. And it’s so much work to put me back together again. All of that awful stinky sticky glue.

It’s hard to look at someone who leads, and see their fragility. We want to believe that our teachers and leaders never cry or feel lost or fuck up. But somehow, I think that the best of us do. We might even question why we are leading. Or our life’ purpose!

Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever speak it?

I have been talking a lot the past few weeks about women, and how we love and support each other – and how we don’t.

So many of my friends are deeply involved in women’s circles, or various other female dynamics in complicated relationships.

And it seems that we are all shaking on some level. Is it the stars?

The sins we commit against each other as women is lack of support. A competitiveness that seems to have an underbelly hidden through soft words.

A lack of seeing each other with gentle eyes. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hide. We project. We become mute or duplicitous, and we fester like boiling water until one day we erupt like a geyser. Do we forget we unravel in grief?

So many of us hold deep trauma in our lives. For me, this is different than the drama some of us layer on top of our lives as a distraction from perhaps what is real trauma – or dare I say it – boredom.

Do you reach out to your friends, and ask for extra love and support when you are hurting this way? Or do you hope that they just notice and get it, and call you?

Or if you are feeling strong, do you make yourself available to your friends to wrap them up in bubble wrap when their skin hurts and their heart beats funny? Do you just offer soft kisses on the forehead?

Does letting yourself be seen in your trembling state feel too needy to you? Some of us just wait and hope that our need will be seen – and support will just show up. Some of us create anger, because any kind of attention to our pain even negative attention can fill us up in some way or another.

And some of us, walk around the house looking for bubble wrap and retreat for a few days.

Sometimes, it can be as simple as needing rest.

Loving you from here, and please send a little bubble wrap my way!

Pamela Madsen, Author of Shameless, Sexuality & Fertility Coach, Integrative Life Coach Specializing in Women’s Issues

Websites: Back To The Body, Pamela Madsen.org

shameless-coverShameless 
———-
A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.

At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn’t let up. And though Pamela loved her husband and didn’t want to have an affair, she knew deep down that she needed more, much more. In Shameless, she tells the story of how she found it—and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than ever.

In this fearless memoir, Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual, personal, and spiritual wholeness. She explores, in riveting detail, what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers, men who brought her untold pleasure (and became her close friends in the process).

But this is not just another sex book: Shameless is also an account of how Pamela’s journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important, helped her weave the many roles that she played—daughter, friend, partner, mother—into one fully integrated person. It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same.

Vulnerability picture by Seth Barns

The Under F-ked Pussy Epidemic…

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“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” — David Deida

 Recently I was speaking with a young woman about her orgasms and her state of emotion. She shared with me how she had been diagnosed with depression and ADHD, how PMS was terrible for her and how she felt that she needed a man in her life to protect, save and hold her. She had been abandoned by the men in her past and had gained an ill understanding of her own heart and soul. Disconnected from her pussy and from her true self she exhibited self-hatred and shame, she felt embarrassed and lacked confidence, yet tried to hide all of this under a bubbly, loud personality with a beaming smile and flashy sex drive.Practically throwing herself at men, begging for their attention so she could survive one more day and pretend that for that moment she had love in her life.

As I sat there listening to her story, watching the emotions cross over her face I could feel her pain, I found myself wanting to just embrace her and tell her that everything would be okay, but that was the protective mama bear in me. Instead I chose to be honest and share the facts, “Sounds like you need to be properly f-ked my dear,” is what I responded. She looked at me and said, “What?” I restated it, “It sounds like you need to be properly f-ked, I don’t mean go have sex, just some junk food sex, I mean you need some gourmet, yummie, fulfilling f-king. You need an orgasm that fills your whole body.” She looked at me a bit taken back and then responded with,”Oh I just had sex, I had an orgasm, a good one. It was very good.”

“But was it fulfilling and gourmet?”
“Yes, yes I think it was. Maybe it was not exactly as gourmet as you are speaking of, but it was awesome.”
“Did it fill your whole body with rapture? Were you tingly and full of energy for days to come or did you grow tired and the orgasmic feeling passed through you within a few hours?”

A confused look came upon her face.

Here is the problem: this world is suffering from the majority of women not having real orgasms, shit most women don’t even have orgasms at all, they fake them, they hide out in their minds and they grow bitter toward life. Those who do have an orgasm normally rely on a clitorial quick fix or tighten their bodies up so much during an orgasm that it is short lived and never fills their whole being; body, heart and soul. They lack the orgasmic rapture that they need. Orgasm is mandatory for a woman to live an abundant, happy, healthy, full life. And not just any old orgasm will do this. The deeper, more penetrating an orgasm, the more life and creative energy, love and surrender a woman will bring to the world. To you.

When her emotions become muted and she is closed, lacking expression toward life she is close to running on empty in her orgasmic bank account. When she is overly hateful or stuck in depression, full of what seems to be crazy hormonal ups and downs she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account. When she lays down and has sex but is indifferent to what happens in the bedroom or cannot share her desires, her boundaries and her fears she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account and this is where the trouble resides. Worse yet, she won’t tell you the truth about what is going on because she herself does not understand. Even if she has a clue her voice will be seized by the darkness of her pussy frustration and her ego will have hold of her so strongly that she won’t be capable of vocalizing the unspeakable to you. That unspeakable being that she needs to be f-ked wide open by a man that can penetrate not only her flesh but her heart and soul. She needs his strength, his firmness, his masculine energy to be unleashed in her at a cellular level and TAKE her beyond the point of no return and right into the heavens of rapture. Only at this level can she trust her man and allow herself once again to be seen.

As Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex states, “Running on empty is not what you want your woman to be, unless you like irritability, impatience, hypersensitivity, and for everything to be your fault. Because in the space between what she asks for and what she really wants, resentment will begin to fester. And you, sir, will be the one she blames.

“Find out what she is hungry for, and give it to her. Never accept her first answer. Ask again. And again. Make it a part of your game plan to prod and push until she releases what she is withholding and her desire comes flying out. At first, her desire might sound like anger. She may need to blow off steam. Don’t take it personally, even if she says hurtful things.

“Keep asking until you feel her true desire release. You will feel it in your body when she finally lets go. Regardless of how much resistance she has, don’t stop asking until you feel it. You are helping her unravel a lifetime of conditioning – old beliefs and habits and rules that are suffocating the bright, lovely, sexy woman within.

That’s the woman you want to be with. So if you have to ask all night, ask all night. You’ll know it when she finally speaks her desire because you will be able to feel it, landing with a satisfying *thunk in your body.

“Then give it to her, and you’ll be giving her the thing she never thought she could get: not just the desire, but approval for having the desire at all. ”

What Nicole is stating here is the powerful truth and it is hard to understand for many men because men have the ability to state what they need or want clearly most of the time. Men have also been raised differently then women and do not have the same shame placed upon them for wanting or needing sex. It is expected that a man craves, thinks about and will ask for sex. It is common thought in many marriages and in society that it is the woman’s place “to make sure to keep her man happy, else he will surely stray and find it somewhere else” but for a woman to be open about her cravings labels her a whore or slut. Even if we are not aware of this low grade consciousness and believe ourselves to be above this sort of thinking, the consciousness and programs still exist for all of us. They lay there in the covers of darkness within our psyche and if we are women they make themselves known pretty quickly as soon as we face our undernourished needs.

So gentlemen or those in the masculine role of the relationship, never stop asking your woman what she desires. Never stop inquiring about her deep hungers. Dig in her cavern and find the treasures she has hidden there, tell her frequently that you love her, that she is your babe, your special lady, your love. Touch her often and playfully and set aside time to REALLY be with her. This is not meaning a movie and dinner or even snuggle time on the couch, this means eye to eye, deep focused communication time. Communicate your love with words, looks and touch and ALWAYS keep asking. She will open to you.

–KW

Nudity Provides Health Benefits for Your Body and Brain

Is clothing crushing us? Are we trapped in tomb-like textiles, exiling our flesh from experiencing the environment? Are we atrophying our epidermis, our senses, our neuro-intelligence?

If you put a plaster cast on a broken arm the skin starves for Vitamin D, the muscles weaken due to strangled range of motion, the nerve synapses depress to a whimper of their former joy. Twenty-first century hominids? We shroud our entire skin palette except for face, neck and hands – we obliterate symbiosis with the planet.

We hide in cocoons, when we could be free as butterflies.

History reveals many cultures that were not clothes-minded. Spartans were basically bare and their victories in pan-Hellenic sports competitions enticed all neighboring Greeks to exercise nude, creating the word “gymnasium” (Greekgymnos = naked). Romans mingled in magnificent bathhouses, enjoying dense communal nudity as they drank, dined, defecated, bathed, read books, argued politics, and watched theater.  Adamists — naked heretics — performed stripped-down church services in North Africa, Bohemia, the Netherlands, and England. Pre-Hitler Germans were avid adherents of Freikorperkultur (“Free Body Culture”) with 70,000 attending co-ed Nacktkultur schools.

There’s naked Japanese in hot springs, naked Finns in saunas, “sky-clad” Jain monks in India, plus millions of nudists worldwide going to “Nakation” camps, beaches, and resorts. They’re still sporty as Spartans, eager to hike naked (“free bush rambling”), canoe naked (“canuding”), bicycle naked, ride horses naked, run naked, play volleyball, badminton, ping-pong and chess naked, swim naked, dance naked, do Naked Yoga, Naked Tai Chi, Naked Gardening, Naked Bowling, and of course, many of us, perhaps you and I, dear readers, are NIFOC — Naked In Front of Computers.

Many famous figures were bare-all aficionados; too many politicians to name, so I’ll just list sci-fi and scientists: Leonard Nimoy, Alexander Graham Bell,  Robert Heinlein, and seismologist Charles Richter. Nudism is prominent in Philip Jose Farmer’s Riverworld books and John Varley’s Steel Beach. Celebrities? Many movie stars skinny-dip at the French Riviera, trying to elude paparazzi seeking pix of Bruce WIllis’willy or Natalie Portman’s port side.

Here’s evidence suggesting that skin-only can be superior:

Born Free.  Pediatricians agree that infants thrive with a daily dose of “naked time” because the unhampered range of motion aids brain development, stimulating neuron growth. Recent discoveries reveal that the “plastic” brain changes and develops throughout our entire lives. Neuroplasticity pioneer Michael M. Merzenich believes,  “Everything that you can see happen in a young brain can happen in an older brain.” Doesn’t this imply that “naked time” is equally valuable for humans of any age, especially the elderly?

Weakened Bodies. A 2003 University of Reading study entitled “A Naked Ape Would Have Fewer Parasites” posits that “humans evolved hairlessness to reduce parasite loads, especially ectoparasites that may carry disease.” Unfortunately, the garments we wear can be a breeding ground for filthy fungi and bad bacterium, causing yeast infections, urinary tract infections, rotting toenails. Lyme Disease deer ticks can grab onto our sweaters and sea lice can sneak into our bathing suit crotches. Cinched-up belts, ties, and clothes impede breathing. Men’s snug pants raise testicle temperature, lowering sperm count and fertility.

Barefoot Medicine. Going shoeless is now recognized as an anti-Alzheimer’s, brain-boosting activity because the sole sensation entices your brain into growing extra, efficient neuron connections. Dr. Norman Doidge (author of The Brain That Changes Itself) believes skipping shoes increases brain flexibility and youthfulness, and many podiatrists now advise going barefoot as much as possible. Bare feet are today’s prescription. Will tomorrow’s elixir take the next step: Bare Body?

Superior Socialization. Self-actualization proponent Abraham Maslow believed “Nudism… is itself a kind of therapy.” Health benefits of social nudity include stress reduction, satiation of curiosity about the human body, reduction of porn addiction, a sense of full-body integration and developing a wholesome attitude about the opposite gender. Research at the University of Northern Iowa discovered that nudists have significantly higher body self-acceptance. Another study concluded that teens at a New York nudist camp were “extraordinarily well-adjusted, happy, and thoughtful.” It’s also excellent for children to grow up free of shame about the human body.

Tolerant Views.A University of Central Florida 2008 study of 384 participants concluded that pro-nudity students “were significantly more accepting of other religious groups and gays and lesbians” when compared to the anti-nudity students. They were also “less prejudiced towards ethnically dissimilar others.”

Soothe Away Your Crazies. Massage is recognized as a therapeutic treatment for mental health issues like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolarism, borderline personality disorder, learning difficulties, and low self-esteem. Theskin stimulation of massage — improving blood flow and detoxifying the lymph system — is duplicated by the warmth, freedom, and improved circulation generated in nakedness.

Soak Up The Rays Vitamin D deficiency is currently soaring, with up to 75% of USA teens and adults receiving insufficient amounts of the “sunshine vitamin.” Lack of this essential health aid is a factor in numerous ailments, including cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis and diabetes. Anyone who bares all outside as a “naturist” harvests larger amounts of Vitamin D in a quicker time span.

Financial Liberation. Clothes are a huge money and time-suck with shopping, laundry, closets, dressers, and gazillions of hours wasted wondering what so-and-so looks like with their garments removed. The global markets for swimsuits alone is expected to reach $17.6 billion annually by 2015; our carbon footprint would shrink like a wool sweater if fabric was no longer manufactured.

Longevity (just joking!). Have you noticed that the furry Norway Rat only lives 2-3 years, while the Naked Mole Rat survives to be 28?

So… is the future going to be full frontal? Will the post-Singularity planet be stripped? Will everyone in a climate-controlled tomorrow choose to be nude, strutting around like the Nuba dancers and boxers of Leni Reifenstahl?

Trends point to an era where there won’t be a stitch to worry about. Many resort areas are are now offering nudism to increase tourism, and American naturist clubs claim their enrollment is growing 20% annually. The German airline OssiUrlaub.de offered nude chartered flights to a Baltic sea resort, and today’s lengthy luggage searches at airports are steering travelers to destinations where they only need carry-on towels and sunblock. Twenty million Europeans already go to nude beaches and spas.

Getting goosebumps imagining it, are you?

Original Posting by  Hank Pellissier on The Immortal Life