TALK IS CHEAP! AND IT’S PERVASIVE AROUND YOU.
“I am here for you.”
“Let me know what I can do.”
“I got your back.”
“Yeah, I totally agree.”
“I see what’s been happening, where you are at, what you are saying, etc.”
There are so many things that we tell others with little to no meaning behind them.
We speak these statements with good intent often,
but we don’t understand the value of actually following our words up with action. Sometimes the action is just more words of support, or helping one find answers, or just simply holding space for someone who is going through a rocky time in life and needs to have that space. Other times, it means that we need to follow through with supportive action to those words.
Recently in my life I have had an onslauth of what you could say shiz going down in my personal life.
I find myself standing here not thirty days into a new year amazed at everything that has occured over the last ninety days.
Some mornings I wake and find humor in the events,
realizing that you can’t make this shiz up.
Hollywood would pay a mint for the tales I could tell.
And then other days I realize that it’s just life,
my soul wanting to expand who I am and strengthen my vessel so I can become everything I desire and live that unbound beautiful life I know is mine.
And then there are the days that I wake in total frustration.
Anger.
Fear.
Judgement.
Bitterness.
Anxiety.
Exhaustion.
And I wonder why me?
Why now?
How much more does God think I can carry?
And WHY do the people in my life not see it? hear it? Why do they just keep wanting more from me in the face of everything else?
No matter how I wake,
what I have been blessed to witness is a reality check in my relationships. Revelations on no matter who we are, we are all human at the end of the day and our humanness when overtaken by our ego is extremely superficial and self-centered, even when we attempt to support and give love.
We blind ourselves and ignore others’ needs and desires, even though we can see what is happening in their lives and how at the end of a string they may be. How close to crashing they truly are.
And we do this NOT because we don’t care or cannot understand,
but because we want what we want for ourselves.
So we act as though we did not see.
We claim they did not communicate clearly.
We say they never told us.
We spout back, “Well I tried but you would not connect, answer, etc.”
YOU WERE NOT CLEAR ON WHAT YOU NEEDED FROM ME.
We push back the blame to the other.
Not wanting to see ourselves and how in these times we disregarded what was right before us with our loved one for the sake of our own self-centered needs and wants.
If we were to get real with our words,
and to honor them and have the self-respect and respect of the other parties as well, we would stand behind our word.
UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR WORD IS EVERYTHING.
This is not just some old school statement that our word makes up our character.
It’s not just a line from Scarface or the Godfather,
John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are not the ones proclaiming the strength of a human is in his words.
No.
But I tell you that our word is all of this.
Our word is OUR CHARACTER CHECK POINT.
Our word is our STRENGTH.
or our weakness.
And when we say that, “I got your back.”
It should not be a light matter.
These words should come with an understanding that in them we are denying the self for another.
That we are willing to sacrifice our short term desires, needs or wants to fully support someone else and to stay aware of what is happening with them and in their lives.
Unfortunately, the majority of the time this is not what will occur.
The reverse is actually true.
We will state that we are supportive,
and then we will take the opportunity to bulldoze over our loved one to get our needs met instead, all the while pretending to be blind to it all. Pretending that if they had just spoken up, made it more clear, done their part that the boundaries would not have ever been crossed.
OUR WORDS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Meaning that with them we take responsibility for who we are and our actions and reactions.
Responsibility to being consciously aware of situations, people and what is truly needed despite our self-centered desires to get our own needs and wants met.
THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT.
Anything else is empty.
Making our words,
our actions,
and us as a human weak and untrustworthy.
What do your words say about your character in a relationship?
In life?
Want to have deep, committed, trusting and loving relationships in all areas of your life?
Then it’s time to stand behind your words,
and realize they are your strength or your weakness.
Your words are your bond.
Without them you have nothing.
As Always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn the secrets of a dynamic powerhouse relationship?
Overcome the drama circles and superficial ego based relating game that you are so used to? Reach out to me today for 1:1 opportunities in mentorship now. Limited space.