Stop Existing & Start Living
Shaky Knee’s and Stairs.
These two things do not get along well.
And yest they are a match made in heaven.
Looking down from the second floor stairs,
Looking at that first step,
feeling my knee’s tremble at the core.
The energy pulsing from my core.
The cool night breeze, brushing up against my cheek as I took a deep breath in.
My lover behind me.
My knee’s, shaking from the hours upon hours of pleasure.
Quivering from the core.
There is this fullness,
This feeling of alignment,
yet fear still resides here.
I can feel it being shaken loose.
That first step,
seeming so far away.
The uncertain feeling of can I make it?
The knowing that it is one of many to follow.
I am tired.
I am so tired.
I am turned on .
So turned on.
I want more.
So much more.
That first step.
Why is it so hard to land that first step.
To find the courage to JUST TAKE IT.
It’s lack of faith.
It’s lack of belief in my worthiness.
YET, I KNOW that I can land it.
There is this knowing that is deeper than the fear.
This knowing that wants to be known.
It wants to be REMEMBERED.
It is there begging for my attention.
Begging for me to STOP existing in the shadows of what I can be.
It is that quiet voice that is getting loud as the day’s pass.
Saying, “YES YOU CAN.”
But these knee’s…
These shaky knee’s.
They tremble at all that could happen.
They resist the wonders that could be born from the pleasure of saying YES to myself.
They resist the DESIRE that wants to JUST LET GO.
They tremble in fear that something may happen to this me that I know, as the me that I am to be EMERGES.
You would think that hours of pleasure would grant me the confidence to just land the step.
You would think that hours of embracing what I wanted, would give me the faith that I could take the step and KNOW I have it.
You would think that the surrender to success, the depth of orgasmic bliss that I said YES to would show me that this world is for the taking, it is for the embracing and it supports our TRUTH when we lean in, let go and get in flow.
But every moment, I have come to learn is a new moment.
And every moment carries hope and doubt.
It is up to me in this moment to DECIDE,
To CLAIM what I want to do with it.
It is up to me, and only me to TAKE THE STEP.
Will I let these shaky knee’s lock me up in fear?
Or will I let these shaky knee’s rattle out that fear as I step forward in FAITH?
Yes there are many steps before me.
There is risk,
But my lover is behind me.
His love carries me.
The step’s are suddenly not so steep.
The breeze, it brushes up against my cheek like a lover itself whispering his intentions in my ear.
The night sky, filled with his glory.
Like a lover filling me with his essence in climax.
There is a owl in the distance,
I hear it’s call of the night.
As if to say, “Listen to your soul, my child.”
And so I shall!
I shall LISTEN.
I shall TAKE THE STEP.
Here is my courage.
Here is my guidance.
Here, here in this moment of leaving my lovers embrace, I open to true surrender. True guidance.
My angels are around me.
It is TIME.
The feeling of saying YES, to one’s truth.
It is FREEDOM.
It is bliss.
It is the F*ck YES! Life.
Will you say YES?
Stop Existing & Start Living
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It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone. ~ Hudson Taylor
It was a cold winter evening as we got into the car. I could not help but wonder why I was feeling the need to pray for Lisa at this moment. I prayed every night for Lisa as well as her brother and sister, but why now, in this moment? We were headed back home and Lisa was in the car with her uncle in front of us, her brother and sister were with me. She waved to us as we left the parking lot following them home from an evening out in the city. Everything seemed fine and yet there was this eager feeling to pray, pray NOW for Lisa. I was bewildered yet paused for a moment in my mind and took a deep breath, “Please Lord, watch over Lisa, send your angels to protect her from harm’s way.” Shortly thereafter I saw a semi’s lights coming toward the car that Lisa was a passenger in. I gasp a sigh as the trailer of the truck swayed back and forth in the lanes ahead. Quickly I prayed again,” Please Lord, protect Lisa in these moments, remove her from harm’s way.” The car that Lisa and her Uncle were in slowed and pulled to the side of the road, the swaying semi passed them and they were safe. Just then I noticed another car, the trailer of the truck crashed into it smashing the back end of the vehicle. We pulled over, the semi managed to stop as well. All of us running to the passengers in the car that had been hit. Everyone was safe luckily but the back of the car was crunched up to the front seats. As the driver of the car got out shakily with his wife and daughter he was shocked at the damage. I asked if they were ok and he said, ‘Yes. Luckily we stopped a few miles back though or it would not be so.” I inquired what he meant. “A few miles back we pulled over and swapped the present we had been out buying this evening into the back seat so our daughter could sit up front with us. If we had not done this she would not be here anymore.” Looking at the car again, the Christmas presents in the back seat were destroyed as they pressed against the back of the front seats of the car, if she had been back there she would not have survived most likely. I looked at the young girl and asked, “What’s your name?” She smiled at me and said, “Lisa.”
This story is adapted from one I read in Guidepost Magazine while in Chicago on my stay. A miraculous true tail from a woman about listening to spirit and praying with faith. Now you may be wondering why a tantrika is writing about praying and faith and what do they have in common with tantric practices or what I teach. Prayer is one of the most powerful forces we have. It is a direct link to the Divine and it should NEVER be taken lightly. Moments as the above show us that we all have power to manifest a better life scenario for ourselves and for those around us. It is in the power of our thinking that we create our world and to believe that our thoughts do not affect others is sheer foolishness. May they be positive (as above) or negative our thoughts go forth into the world and make time and space non relevant. If we are sending out thoughts of hatred, jealousy, judgment, or something else on this line then what we are doing is throwing a large poisonous boulder into the stream of life. The ripples caused by this one forceful thought will expand out and back. You can look at it like a rubber band being pulled on from one point, as the rubber band expands out it touches a great deal of space before it releases and comes back to where it started. But it does not just come back to where it started; it forms a powerful energetic whiplash effect as it crashes back into the starting zone. Often this whiplash is felt energetically long before the rubber band ever is released. This subtle vibration is known as Spanda. When relating Spanda back to our thoughts and feeling a vibration with them you could say that this is your subconscious, the angel on your shoulder that is arguing with the devil on the other shoulder. In other words, it’s that soft voice that tells you that these thoughts are not aligned with your higher self or the universe and that by sending out these thoughts consciously or unconsciously you will experience a whiplash (negative effects, karma). As will those that you are throwing these stones at.
How is it possible that others can be affected by our negative thoughts? The universe does not pay attention to what we want or what we don’t want, what the universe hears is what we attach the most emotion too. When we have great rage toward someone, our mental, physical and emotional bodies feel it. Our Spirit sits by and tries to guide our reactions away from anger and suffering motives and toward love and light. But often we find ourselves thriving on the short circuit of energy that is caused through the lower grade ego based emotions. After all it is how we have been programmed since we were small children. Because we are all energy vibrations, when we experience great love or hatred, sadness or exhilaration our bio-energetic fields expand out and dance with others. When we become extremely fixated (attached emotionally) to something, most likely a thought that is linked to this emotion, we feed it with more emotion. Making our vibrational wave even grater and stronger in effect.
“Our thoughts do not come from the brain, just as music does not originate in the circuits of a physical radio. The brain is like an antenna – it picks up a signal and rebroadcasts it into the conscious mind. If we could distinguish thoughts that come from the Light from those that come from the Shadow 9the Opponent), we could reclaim control of our lives.” – The Power of Kabbalah Card Deck
If we are in a negative state of being and attached to thoughts that are supporting this state then what we are doing is acting like ink in a water glass to all those we come in contact with. What do I mean? Take a glass of clear water then drop one tiny drop of ink into the glass. What happens to the crystal clear water? You can see the ink swirling around in the water; it slowly merges with all the water molecules, causing the once clear water to be tainted. Our energy field can taint or heighted the energy of others around us, and just as with the glass of water, the drop started at the top of the glass but did finally make it to the bottom and at the end penetrated each molecule. This is the same with our thoughts. When we are harsh on another in our thinking we send out darkness. We cloud ourselves instead of bringing light to a situation. When we stop and pause, listen to our Spirit, to the soft voice of angels, God, our higher self or whatever name you want o put here we come from love and acceptance that everything is as is intended to be. This does not mean that having upset feeling is wrong by any means. Allowing yourself to feel all emotion is healthy and part of our human existence as well as a major part of healing, however attachment to these emotions for long periods of time is destructive. The beauty of this is that once we understand how powerful our thoughts truly are, we can stop manifesting chaos and suffering and instead manifest a beautiful world. Just as the woman in the story above chose to listen to angelic assistance, the voice of spirit to help assist another so should each of us take a conscious moment in each day to look outward and pray in a positive manifestation for all beings.
Through meditation and prayer we are given the chance to remember and accept who and what we REALLY are! Pray or meditate TODAY to discover your reality and assist in the birthing of The Shift on this planet.
“Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other person on the planet – because it is the purpose of humanity.” –Eckhart Tolle
One day a tiny caterpillar awakens and starts it journey to becoming a beautiful butterfly, but does it have any concept of what it will be like to get there or to actually fly? Most likely not. It is a caterpillar and as a caterpillar it knows only one thing. The hunger it has for food. A caterpillar eats more than ten times its weight within a few days of life, it then becomes so sluggish that it barely has the energy to climb to a perch and connect itself to a plant where it will take the next steps to its transformation. Once attached though it relaxes, allowing its outer skin to dry and become a shelter where within a new life will emerge. In this tranquil state the old and the new reside within the same moment. As the nutrients consumed over the days before slowly unite with the breaking down of the caterpillar’s old body while new cells awaken. Together a beautiful process of creation happens. DNA structures change and within a short period of time what once only hungered for food of the earth and moved slowly on a multitude of tiny little legs, finds itself cramped tight in a cocoon that no longer serves its purpose. Slowly with great pressure the cocoon starts to crack and the wings of a new empowered creature reveals itself. Stretching its delicate wings out, feeling its new life cross over with the breath of Mother Nature, this butterfly takes to the heavens. Dancing in the sunlight, casting its shadow down on the earth that it once crawled on and allowing life to guide it to new heights and beautiful moments. No matter how short the life may be, this tiny creature experiences before our very eyes a multi-dimensional reality. It lives two lives in one, bringing with it the past life and all the nutrients it gained and fluidly developing that into a new more vibrant state of flow.
We too are caterpillars! Our purpose is to walk a path of transformation. To accelerate consciously the ever changing state of being. Life to life we consume more nutrients; we bring with us our past experiences, may they be good or bad does not matter to the soul. In soul each experience is just what it is suppose to be, a lesson, an activation. This constant state of reincarnation can only stop when the soul has grown to a point at which it no longer desires for rebirth.
“A major ‘Core Belief’ that affects all of your lives adversely is the belief in physical death.” – IXACA, Channeled by Verlaine Crawford (New Cells, New Bodies, New Life!)
Change is the only constant in life. Even what we refer to as death is nothing more than a change from one form to another, just like the caterpillar. Once we can embrace that death is part of life we may even happily run toward it. Wanting it to wash over us again and again. Each day we awaken to death. We experience a dark night of the soul. Our transformation of physical to ‘light being’ moves one step closer through the activation in conscious awareness by our inner vibratory initiations with grace, salvation and enlightenment. We become consciously closer to our goal. What is the goal?
To become like the Creator. Complete, Full, Illuminated with Love.
In this state we can achieve all! It is what we desire at our core, it is what God wants for us, and it is what is awaiting each of us and all of us as ONE.
“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” – Joseph Campbell
But here we have the true issue of humankind. Oneness which is so sought after and desired by what seems like every soul on the planet yet not fully accepted. In all actuality it is being used against the rise of planetary vibration and transformation. We are being sold a false state of oneness from our governments and authorative figures. In the name of Oneness we are allowing our rights and liberties to be taken from us. Through the use of fear tactics, unseen shackles and the illusion that someone outside of ourselves is going to save us, take care of each of us and lead us to salvation we sheepishly remain blind. The truth of transformation and the healing of our planet will only come when WE are willing to see EVERYTHING. As one becomes more awake, one also discovers that there is more pressure to deal with the areas of our lives that we have been avoiding. These areas are our blind spots. Ego has carefully hidden them out of our sight. As Michael Berg states, “A person is able to see ALL flaws, except his own.”
Consciousness only has two choices in the evolution that is upon us: to join in with the flow or to resist the flow. In joining and proactively fighting the ONLY fight worth anything (the fight for Unconditional Love) great miracles can emerge upon our planet within this 3D illusion of life. Through consciously awakening, allowing ‘death’ per say to wash over us, we will discover a New Life in a higher consciousness. There are many beautiful, healing ideas forming and manifesting within our world. Crusaders walking the difficult path of their purpose; knowing that each person that they touch in love and assist on their journey of conscious rebirth thus too pushes ‘us as a whole’ toward the light. Our planet Earth which was at one point in time full of light has been through a struggle and has experienced the rule of Satan (Ego Consciousness or Desire for the Self- Alone), but now we are at the brink. We are transforming once again. There is not ONE individual that will not embark on this journey. The only decision we have for the self-alone is if we will accept this beautiful metamorphosis and willingly abandon fear, doubt, control, and all states of ego or continue to align our physical, mental and emotional bodies with selfishness, which will only bring into our state of reality chaos, pain and suffering.
“If our realization is not complete, it’s prone to be used by ego as a construct to hide behind, and as justification for lots of unenlightened behavior.” –Adyashanti, The End of Your World
Will YOU decide today to be the change you want to see in the world? Or will you cave to selfish fear, desire for the self-alone, doubt and the biggest illusion of all, Control over God?
View all photo’s from The Purpose of Humanity Naked Musing in my Ecstatic Studio