Today I visited Hemingway’s home here in Key West.
I love Hemingway’s work.
And after listening to the tour guide share tidbits from Hemingway’s history,
I can now understand why I love his writings.
The statement that rang so true and beared power with it was,
“He liked to write from experience. Hemingway was a man who craved adventure and went to find it. His stories come from those experiences.”
As I work with people,
and I move through my own life and just witness,
What I see often is the reverse of this for so many people.
Perhaps you know what I speak of.
So many people choose to not live.
Choose to not be part of THEIR own life in many ways.
Choose to not experience.
However, instead live their lives vicariously from a place separated from life.
They live watching others.
And they sit in judgment over these people that they sit and watch.
I have been around sports fans all my life,
my ex-husband is a HUMONGOUS football fan.
It’s hard to communicate with him during football season,
because NOTHING matters more than who is on the field and the decisions that they are making.
I have often wondered watching him,
sit in the living room or at a bar,
drinking, rooting, cussing and getting really upset at times over a penalty or a poor play,
what his fascination is in watching someone else play the game.
I mean I understand that they are talented.
I get that there is a world watching with him, and there may be money on the line,
but why just watch.
If you love the game so damn much,
Why won’t you go throw the ball with your kid?
Why don’t you want to play it yourself,
push your own edges,
make your own calls,
and feel the adrenaline of winning or losing.
Why just kick back and WATCH?
This Is not being an active participant in the thing you have so much passion and love for.
It would be like ( and I know that some actually choose this – no shame in it, you do you.) ….
It would be like you getting married to someone that you simply adore, love with everything but then have someone else step in and do the actual act of relationship for you.
So they have sex with your partner and you just watch,
never experience,
they raise your children,
you just watch never state your feelings about parenting and what is right and good or not,
they buy your house and choose the furniture,
they choose how the relationship with your husband/wife goes.
You just watch.
Never participate.
Never experience.
You get to witness it all,
but you never engage.
And then you say,
” I love being married. My partner is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We are best friends. My kids are amazing. The sex is hot AF.”
Seriously?
Well we in truth actually do this to degrees.
We hire nannies.
We hire interior decorators.
We hire teachers.
We hire cleaners.
We may even activate a swingers lifestyle because we cannot fulfill in some ways and just request that our partner do everything in front of us,
so we can watch.
So we can see but not engage.
As we do with all the other areas.
And what are we doing in truth?
Not that any of the things that I shared above are bad,
so please don’t think I am saying that they are….
but that if we are doing these things to AVOID,
or to make it where we do not have to be responsible for…
then perhaps we need to question our WHY.
Perhaps it is time for us to ask ourselves,
Why are we so eager and comfortable to step out of our own life experiences?
What are we avoiding?
What are we shutting ourselves down for?
Fear.
Fear that we may get it wrong.
Fear that we could get hurt.
Fear that we may harm someone.
Fear that we may love and lose.
Fear of not being worthy of it.
SO much fear in living is what so many have,
and despite how much money is in the bank,
how big the house is,
how many cool cars you own,
you find yourself fearing connection and love.
The things that you crave so deeply for.
And you crave play and adventure.
You crave the feeling,
the true feeling of life moving through you in all it’s magical ways,
but you deny it daily.
You turn your back to it in the small things,
like football.
and you think nothing of it.
That is just a game,
everyone is watching it.
If you are a fan,
then THIS is what fans do.
They live through the players who are out on the court and playing…
LIVING.
And that is why the palyers get paid the BIG BUCKS.
So they can live.
Because you won’t.
Because you are f-cking terrified of living,
so you buy a jersey,
you upgrade your TV accounts to catch every game,
you go to the games and you get all the best tickets so that you can breathe it all in.
But when when it comes to you living your life,
and speaking from the space of actually experiencing life,
like Hemingway did…
well that is not for you.
That is for anyone but you.
And you look at those who have the balls to do it and you hunger to feel what they feel.
You love their sharing,
you love-hate that they are turned on to life and thriving,
but you still repeatedly say no to your dreams,
your desires,
your life that is asking you to live it.
And why?
Fear.
SO today as I bounce around Key West,
as I plan out the rest on my days here,
and all the really cool shit I have done and will continue to do,
as I look forward to my next adventure week after next and then again in two weeks and so on,
I sit back for a second in this moment and I feel compassion for you.
I feel a desire to impress on you that this is your life,
stop watching everyone else live why you sit back and make excuses as to why you cannot.
But what do I know right?
Life is not about you loving it and living,
life so I hear is about you listening to how to remain in a box and staying safe… HA! If that is a thing even. It is about you being responsible, because I guess if you are thriving that you are not responsible….
Not my experience.
But what some might say.
Share your thoughts if you dare.
Just mine as I sit here nude on my deck writing during an island thunder storm.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Ready to start saying yes? Ready to activate your life and thrive? I sure wish you would say yes,
it would be cool to hang with you.
to share with you.
To walk this magical journey with you.
But the first step is the step of saying F-ck Fear!
Reach out to me if you dare to say yes to your dreams and want to know how you can accomplish them.