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I WANT TO NEED HIM – The Tale of Today’s Feminine Surrender.

I WANT TO NEED HIM.

 

This is a statement that a woman made to me as we were speaking about her couple-hood.

 

As I listened to her tale of desire to want to need her man,

that she believed that this is the way that we were designed,

and that so much of our discontent in relationships and life as well as not knowing ourselves comes from this very belief that we women “should not” need men.

That we are just as good and can balance life without a significant other, I thought to myself,

 

SHE IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

 

Women have burdened themselves with the disease of believing that we don’t need men, that it is a sign of weakness. That we are lower than human if we rely on our male counterparts. Or that if we are relying on them that we are selling ourselves for a lifestyle, for safety.

 

And so many women do, do just this.

They settle into relationships not for soul union, not for love, but for comfort and safety. They look at the man’s resume, not his heart.

 

These women are indeed selling themselves.

They are becoming slaves to a lifestyle and a comfort.

They are not acting from soul or love.

 

And to them I could write a million lines,

but today I am addressing the women who are afraid of being perceived this way.

So much so, that they armour themselves from beautiful relationships, they fight to be seen strong at all cost, they feel weak at the thought of receiving help from their man. They do not know how to be supported by the masculine.

 

I am one of these women.

So I share from the depths of my feminine heart on this topic.

I am one of those women that has a ridiculous time receiving from my man.  I have learned through the years to allow him to open doors, to help grab the groceries, to let him help me in house and home. I have gotten over him not cumming every time we make love or him focusing all his attention on my pleasure and not receiving physically in times.

 

I have learned that  his pleasure sometimes is all about my receiving in our sexual union.

 

I  have learned that he loves to witness me in rapture.

That he feels great pleasure and satisfaction in my bliss.

In what he gives to me.

 

But, when it comes to money.

When it comes to bills.

When it comes to buying the groceries.

Medical things.

Needs.

 

Even if it is a trinket that I have my eye on and he asks me, do you want that? He is ready to purchase it for me. He wants to bring me pleasure. He wants to see me adorned. He wants my happiness.

I know this. But I feel like I am taking from him.

That I should not need this.

That it is not okay.

That he will perceive me as a woman who is there for the financial support.

 

And I am scared to lean on him.

I am scared that he will see me as weak.

As needy.

That my heart and love will be missed some how,

that my truth that  I have only eyes and desire for him will be washed over in some way because he has “helped” me.

 

When in truth, it is not even him helping me.

It is a union.

It is a team.

It is US, supporting the whole together.

And it is my pride that stands in the way of the full union.

It is my pride that screams that I should not need him, all the while my soul feels just like the woman above.

 

I WANT TO NEED HIM.

Because I DO!

 

I need his strong masculine guidance.

His leadership.

His logic.

His foresight.

I need his looks of love and adoration.

I need his tenderness.

His humor.

I need his touch.

I need his heart.

I need him to need me.

 

And I do not look at him as though he is weak for wanting me.

Or for needing me.

I know that he needs my feminine heart,

my emotions and touch.

He needs to see my rapture and my tears so he can fully feel who he is at his depth as well.

 

I know that he wants to need me.

 

We both have lived without each other just fine.

We both have been more than capable of living life and supporting our loved ones, building lives, businesses and we could easily choose to continue to do just that.

 

But the union of the masculine and the feminine when done by soul, is a union of desire to be together because together we are stronger.

Together we feel more.

We heal deeper.

We expand fully.

 

It’s not about money or security.

Although together we thrive all the more as well.

 

It’s not about weakness in coming together.

Or comfort.

 

It’s uncomfortable in truth to be vulnerable and wide open with someone. To have no hold backs.

To feel as though there are no barriers,

nothing you do not want seen or felt.

To want to be witnessed at the deepest levels by your mate,

is uncomfortable AF!

 

There is no hiding here.

And we women, hold back from needing our men deeply,

and wanting to need them,

we in turn tell God/Universe that we don’t need them either.

 

It’s hypocritical of us women to say that we are these brilliant life givers, thus manifestors, creators, powerhouses and to know that we are vessels born to receive and then say NO to receiving because we deem it a weakness because it comes from our man.

 

How are we to ever fully become our greatest selves if we consistently deny our receiving, our pleasure, support, love from the great masculine?

 

No wonder we women are lost. 

No wonder so many of us are bitter, non-orgasmic, always choose the wrong man who lets us down. 

We should expect all of this and know that we have set ourselves up for suffering in love, 

To never feel fully loved or cherished because we are not cherishing ourselves. 

It is through our ability to lean into the masculine, to open our hearts and put down our armour with a man that holds us close and wants to need us as well, who gets that he is our king, our knight, our protector and great lover. That through his honor and ability to carry us deeper into ourselves that we find ourselves. 

 

 

It is my belief, and a belief that “just might” be backed by a few spiritual scriptures and structures out there as well, that we are meant to support each other. The equal yoking of the masculine and feminine. 

 

THE DESIRE TO BE ROMANCED LIES DEEP IN THE HEART OF EVERY WOMAN.

IT IS FOR SUCH THAT YOU WERE MADE.

 

I love this quote by John Eldredge.

 

However, for us to  have that desire manifest, we women must open ourselves to God first, 

We must learn to listen to our hearts, our soul, our intuition. We must then open ourselves and lay down the shields and swords of our wounded little girls and let the conscious masculine hold us. 

Love us. 

See us fully. 

We must be open to needing him. 

And we must want to need him. 

 

It is only through our wanting, 

And our understanding that, that wanting is not a weakness but a powerful space of abundance, flow and love, 

That we gain the opportunity to experience true soul union.

 

Our union with our man mirrors our union with the divine, with God.

The trust we show our mate, 

The surrender, 

The rapture, 

The need, 

The wanting.

 

We captivate our men for a reason.

It is because through us he feels life.

 

And we are lifted by his true heart and desire to serve us.

So if you are a woman like myself who struggles with receiving from the masculine, 

If you feel weak or like you will be misperceived in your wanting of his support, his love, his attention, look no further than your heart. 

Ask your truth there. 

And see him as God.

Wanting your rapture in all of life. 

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

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The Zero Separation Relationship & Why The Wolrd Hates It!

ZERO SEPARATION.
It’s funny, I have never thought of myself or witnessed myself to be a jealous person.
I have not thought myself to be territorial or possessive.
I have never been a woman who has demanded to be the center of attention with my partner.
I have never really missed my partner when they go away for the day.
I have never not been able to sleep without the connection of a lover.
All in all, I am one of those women who does just fine on her own.
with or without a man.
In or out of relationship.
I am not needy or clingy.
I am not one with a bunch of expectations or demands.
And if my man looks at another woman,
that’s okay. We are all human. We can appreciate other humans.
Flirting is a natural and even healthy thing, in or out of a relationship.
I am not a woman who is concerned about my partners attention or even ponders the idea of them cheating on me. Matter of fact for years I was in an open relationship and joked about how my partner could not cheat on me, because I was good with him receiving pleasure from whatever source he desired. That I knew that he would play hard ball finding a woman that was truly okay with open relating and could remain confident and loving in it.
This is all accurate.
For who I was and the relationships I had.
But today, I find myself in a completely different situation.
Today I want zero space between myself and my partner.
I have to convince myself that it is healthiest to have space. That we need to spend time apart, to enjoy time away from each other.
I have to convince myself that other things are important too,
that my life does not just need nor can it maintain by just being engaged with my man.
I have found that I want the world to just go away.
To leave us.
I have daydreams of a sweet little cabin out in a meadow someplace beautiful on ton’s of acres, where just he and I reside.
We have our garden, we walk, we talk, we make love, we watch the sun rise and set, the stars dance only for us. We plan our future and we enjoy each day entwined.
At night our limbs are enwrapped, he pulls me in tight should space emerge. He kisses me softly on the forehead each morning, and grabs me passionately throughout the day. We share our tears, our laughter, our embarrassments and we have zero space for the world to seep in and cause chaos.
He is my rock.
And I am his.
There is only him and I.
And with this I find that I am not jealous.
I am not possessive.
I am territorial AF!
I do have expectations and I do make demands on time and attention. When I feel a pull away, it is as though my very heart is being severed from my chest.
When I feel his armour rise,
It is as though I have been dropped from the highest tower into great rocks below.
And when the outside comes knocking…
It’s all defenses up.
That territorialism is a protection.
Its boundaries spoken and unspoken.
It is primal in my nature to want to secure the home,
the heart, the relationship.
For this relationship is far too valuable.
It has the feeling of life itself, the feeling of coming home.
Its depth bears with it a remembrance and a desire to make sure that it is never lost arises when the world comes knocking at our door.
Now some might look at this and say that a relationship of this nature has limited trust and knowing.
And the me of yesteryear would be first on that bandwagon.
But the thing that I have learned is that it’s not lacking trust,
not in each other or the relationship. It lacks trust in the ideas and wants of the world around.
And although our intent can be good for those we see in such beauty. We can say and even take action to show that we support a relationship of this nature and depth, but in truth we humans are cunning, fickle souls. We see beauty and something inside of us is angered that it is not ours and so without realization we attempt to destroy through drama, manipulations, anger, becoming a victim or finger pointing.
We stir the pot.
We stomp our feet like a child and we demand that this sort of relationship that we claim is so beautiful and we support is actually dangerous.
The zero separation relationship is based on soul entwinement.
I have read about it in such books as Thomas Moore wrote, (Soul Mates, The Soul of Sex, Care of the Soul & More) as well as much ancient texts from tantra and sufi to the Song of Solomn.
I have tasted bites of this sort of relationship throughout my previous ones, but could I fully grasp the desire, the complexity, the hunger of the soul and the pain of being apart if even for a few hours.
It feels addictive in truth.
It makes me question everything.
And yet I cannot deny that I want for nothing else.
He is mine and I am his, is a statement that dances through my heart and mind consistently.
And to think of allowing the world to seep in and possibly poison even one cell of this relationship is sheer heresy.
Yet we are told in society that this sort of close bonding is unhealthy.
That it is an addiction.
That casting out potential danger,
or setting hard boundaries in our lives,
is not good.
To close the gates of our castle is a joke in today’s world.
We live in fear of the “what if I offend” instead of ruling our lives and relationships with a fierceness of protection.
When we are in an intimate bonding with another and our souls yearn at such a deep level as is written about soulmates and twin flame bondings,
then how could we ever allow the world an opportunity to destroy.
Zero separation.
The vacuum that we must create in the casting out of potential harm. Because in such an intimate bonding of the hearts and souls, there truly is no other.
It is just the two.
Becoming one.
And this is what our union of marriage is supposed to be,
however the majority are far from anything even close to this.
We have great disrespect, a lack of loyalty even to what we deem our mate, our life partner, our spouse, our soulmate, our primary partner, our significant other.
We may make the claim that they are our better half or other half,
but in our allowing of the world to seep in and cause chaos, to spew its anger of what it does not have in your face and try and make you feel pity, are you truly honoring your greatest and highest relationship or are you falling in dissent?
Today I ask you to look at the bond that you have with your partner?
And if you are single, I ask you to look back at your relationships and ask,
“How have I been guilty of creating space for the world to poison the beauty and depth of said intimate relationship?”
It’s time my dear to be real with self.
To see where you have opened the gates to the wolves and let them feed.
If your relationship is just one of passing,
a between that keeps you warm, makes you laugh and entertains you, then perhaps you need not be concerned…
but if your relationship is one you claim to be entwined, deeply in love and wanting eternally ( or at least this lifetime), then it’s time to ask and look within.
What is more important?
Your intimate bond or the world and its desires of you?
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Time to take your love into your own hands and heal from past wounds.
Set down your armour and embrace the life and love that you know is yours.
Want to learn how?
Reach out to me today to explore Soul Entwined Relating Now.
 
Photo Credit DandelionImages
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How I lost 18 Pounds in 4 months with Zero Effort, Only Doing One THING!

👉👉👉CAN A MAN BE THE BEST WEIGHT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM, SLEEP AGENT AND STRESS REDUCER OUT THERE?

 

The right man certainly can be.🤯

Today I speak to all the 👑queens out there who look in the mirror, do those little sidewards poses sucking in your tummies, checkin’ out how the booty looks in those pants, if the “girls” are perky looking today or if you need to grab the extra support bra. How your eyes look. Are you needing extra concealer, are the lines, soft wrinkles and exhaustion from life showing up to boldly or…💃💃💃

 

Today I am sharing a revelation with you that I have witnessed over the course of time in different ways in my own personal life and with friends and clients alike.

 

But when I tell you that from a VERY personal and real level, I have never been through such a beautiful transformation as the one that I am in currently in and it all stems from the love of the right man. Now, don’t get me wrong here…

it’s not actually his action of love that is doing anything.

Its not a massive amount of sex.

It’s not really anything other than I can put down all my armour with him and surrender.

 

🤯Whoa…

 

Did you catch that big scary word that most queens do not like to speak outloud?

 

SURRENDER.

 

Lay down our armour?🦸‍♀️

Put down the shields and sword?⚔️

Trust the MF masculine?

 

I know, I have gone off the deep end for some of you ladies out there. In todays time when we women are able to be self-sufficent and not need relationship, just have the sex we want, when we want and live our lives without the bartering with a man, the concept of surrendering to the masculine seems shear ludicrous and crazy.

 

I get it.

 

But are you fulfilled?

Sure you may believe that you are.

You got the career, the kids, the house, the money, the “freedom” but where do you allow yourself to be held?

Where do you allow your softness as the feminine to be revealed?

And if you are a coupled queen, do you truly let your king shine as a man or do you constantly overthrow his throne with your fear of being controlled by him?

 

Do you in essence cuckold your man?😲🤔🤯

You “give him sex” but you do not actually receive him or let him receive you?

 

Coupled or single,

What we desire in a relationship on both sides of the coin is connection.

Put simply connection DOES NOT come from two physical bodies engaging in sex or physical touch.

Connection comes from emotional bonding and trust.

Connection comes from being able to embody one’s self with deep presence and thus can actually feel at an emotional and energetic level their partner.

They are willing to reveal themselves fully.

They are willing to be seen authentically.

They are willing to be naked in every way with their lover.

 

These things can NEVER be achieved with our armour up.

These things cannot happen without surrender from our deepest heart center with our lover.

 

And as long as we choose to uphold that emotional/energetic armour in our sexing, in our relationships, with our intimacy we will also bear the effects of the armour which are actual weight of the physical body.

Stress of the mind.

Emotional overload and imbalances.

We will not be able to lay our heads down and truly rest.

Because the weight of life,

the guarding of our hearts,

and the exhaustion of us “acting out a role for survival” will only create restlessness of our souls.

 

When we enter a soulmate relationship,

a union with our true significant other we have zero desire to hold onto our swords and weapons. We do not want barriers to our heart.

 

👊👊👊We want UNION.

Zero space between.

 

And when we truly enter a relationship of this divine nature we also reap the rewards here in the physical if we are willing to surrender to this sort of depth and authentic connection in love.

 

WE STAND NAKED IN EVERY WAY BEFORE OUR SOULMATE.

 

And here we find our truest freedom.

Our most unbound love.

We discover who we really are,

and we open ourselves to him.

 

And he as a heart centered man,

strong in his masculine and purpose driven in his life understands that the way he penetrates your heart as his queen is also how he penetrates his world.

He must lean fully into your gates in love and trust of the feminine or he his lack of surrender will be felt and you will not be able to trust him.

 

However you my dear queen must remember that it is a two way street ALWAYS.

 

If you as a woman refuse to trust yourself,

if you refuse to get out of your mind space,

If you refuse to speak your truth,

if you refuse to take responsibility for your emotions, your orgasms, your choices, your triggers and your fear,

then he cannot lean into your gates in trust.

 

A king cannot lead his queen to the most delicious moments of connection and intimacy if his queen does not respect him in his masculine.  And a queen can never respect a king who does not know whom he is and who has healthy boundaries and a stable heart center.

 

So can a man be the best weight management system, sleep agent and stress reducer out there?

 

Yes the right man certainly can.

The right man + the right woman can conquer their world together.

They will thrive and live unbound in their love.

They will be healthy physically, emotionally, sexually, financially and spiritually.

 

Unfortunately it is my opinion from my over two decades of working with couples that the harsh reality is that about 85% of unions are not soul based but need based.

Survival based.

 

And it shows my dear queen in your face.

In your eyes.

In your body.

In how you speak of yourself.

In how you show up in your life.

 

I love you beautiful.

You are worthy of a king that is worthy of you.

 

But you have to first want to find him and then be willing to lay down your armour.

 

As Alway,

Loving you from 18 pounds lighter,  radiance in my face and eyes, a good night’s sleep in my mans arms and lovin’ the skin I am in with a surrendered heart to my King 👑

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Queens let’s chat about getting you back into your rightful throne.

Based in that beautiful heart center, let me show you the steps to putting down the armour with your soulmate or how to call in your soulmate if that’s where you are at and how to fully become embodied in love and orgasm today.

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WOMAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

AS THE SAYING GOES… EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

 

Some days however this forty-four year mama of seven has a tough f-cking time loving the skin I am in.

 

Some days all I can see are the stretch marks,

that my breasts are not as perky as I wish they were.

 

All I see are the few extra pounds,

the “love handles” that I do not love.

The jiggle and the wiggle of what I want to be lean and firm.

 

All I see is how imperfect this skin is.

And here I AM…

In it.

Each day is a challenge to balance body well-being, work and motherhood.

Add in my desire to connect daily with my man and I find it often extremely difficult to stay focused on the practices that I know help me to love the skin that I am in and see my inner radiance and my sexyiness as a woman who has given life multiple times over.

 

Yesterday I felt GORGEOUS.

Today I struggle.

 

My children yelp for my attention.

They fight and bicker as siblings do.

I look about this house of mine with all the chores that need completed. My list grows ever longer with work items, clients that need attention, friends that need support, taxes that need finished, and laundry… there is always laundry and dishes.

Today I see nothing but the drudgery of this day.

Trapped here in this body that as I pass a mirror I am frustrated with.

The scale never says what I want.

The skinny jeans that I am holding on to with hope of fitting in once again are collecting dust as they nag me from my closet shelf.

 

I pass by a mirror,

check myself out,

and huff.

 

That is today.

 

Yesterday, I was lean, strong, turned on and felt full of desire for life.

For my man.

For our future together.

I was a rapture of juiciness and love.

I stretched my body out in the clean white sheets of our bed,

feeling each muscle move and open.

I arched my back and opened my chest to the heavens and drew my man in to kiss on it.

I felt yummy.

I felt beautiful.

I wanted to be in my skin.

And with that love and want my day was smooth and peaceful, passionate and fulfilling.

I felt no hast.

No stress.

Only good vibes.

 

That was yesterday.

 

I am all of this, all the time.

As each woman is.

 

Our bodies and how we feel in them from waking to falling back asleep again has a radical impact on our life views and the energy that we put out into this world.

 

When we women feel yummy and juicy in our bodies.

When we are turned on to life, to our partners and to ourselves,

our worlds are juicy and supportive of our natural creative abilities.

Our view on life is expansive and we are strong in whom we are.

When we love the skin that we are in.

We are powerful.

 

EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

 

And this is very true.

Our tiger stripes of pride,

our crows feet of laughter and wisdom.

Every grey hair and random hormone one that pops up where hair should never be.

 

We wrestle with our ego’s.

We fear that we are not desirable.

Not lovable,

if we are not what we deem perfect.

See the world appreciating on social media, magazines and TV.

 

Big booties.

Small booties.

Big breasts.

Small breasts.

Real or fake.

 

Depending on what season we are in,

we are told what our beauty standards should be and how we should aim to meet them.

 

To be beautiful is to be young?

To be beautiful is to be slim?

To be muscular?

Blonde?

 

TO BE BEAUTIFUL IN TRUTH IS A FEELING.

 

It is nothing that our bodies will ever look like.

Never measure up to.

It is not a weight on a scale.

It is not to mimic our favorite celebrity or model.

 

It is a feeling.

And no one on this planet can make us feel that way permanently.

 

Ladies,

when our men look at us with love and adoration,

with hunger,

Do you truly believe that they see all our flaws?

Do you believe that they care that your makeup is not perfect?

Your hair needs attention?

That you are not revealing your most perfect pose,

(you know that one that you practice for selfies).

 

No.

They see your beauty.

And not just your inner beauty.

They stand in awe at the goddess that they have in their life.

They are in love and desire for how our glance makes them feel.

They love watching us move.

Even the wiggle and the jiggle.

They love those little laugh lines they helped put upon your beautiful face.

They love the strength of your body.

How they can get lost in our touch.

 

And that feeling of beauty that they give to us…

That is our true radiance.

They are helping us to access WHO WE REALLY ARE.

They make it easy to be in alignment with our SOUL.

With our true beauty.

Because they don’t see our fear of imperfection.

 

They know our truth.

 

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL.

Love the skin you’re in.

And be compassionate to your heart, mind and body the days you do not.

 

WOMAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Calling all you BadA*s Mama’s Out There who want to love your body and feel empowered.

Reach out to me for a private 1:1 consultation to feel empowered in your skin EVERYDAY.

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HOW TO MANIFEST YOUR GREATEST LOVE STORY OF THIS LIFETIME.

YOU OPEN UP TO A RELATIONSHIP A THOUSAND FOLD DEEPER, MORE LOVING, MORE FULFILLING AND STRONGER WHEN YOU DO THIS…
My heart was broken.
My trust was broken.
I felt abandoned, lost, unlovable and could never see myself in love again at this level. How could I? He was “the one,” he was the one who opened me at levels of my soul I had never touched, my heart shuddered and longed for him. I was ignited when we were together and I felt like I was in heaven.
And when he chose to say good-bye…
I was crushed.
I clung to the idea of him coming back to me,
I could see him knocking on my door and asking for me to forgive him, that he was mistaken. I convinced my heart and mind that our energetic connection was untouchable.
I told myself that THIS lost love was as good as it got.
I had settled on this concept.
The idea of him. Of us. And that I simply had to remain loyal to him by keeping my heart unattached.
This idea grew to bitterness and a deeper sadness as months went by and they turned to years and he never knocked.
But I had built him into this idea in my head and attached such emotion to it that I armoured myself up to everything and everyone else.
I would date.
I would explore.
I even got into a longer standing, seemingly “committed” relationship and the outside world would say,
“She has moved on. She has healed. She is loving again.”
However my internal world was a drastic F-ck No! to it all.
Stuck in the quicksand of yesteryear with my heart still broken and clinging to the idea and the longing of his love.
I called into my life everything that was not for me.
I called in what would soon need to be let go of.
And I blinded myself to the possibilities of something grander than what I could have dreamt of possible with my lost love.
So blind I was.
So stuck, that I missed him.
I missed the soul that was knocking at my door.
I missed the soul that could take me further, carry me higher, expand my heart into the omniverses and beyond.
And I missed him because of my stubbornness and false loyalty to a love that was no longer mine for the keeping.
One day though something happened.
One day I grew so weary of carrying all this pain and fear of letting go that I just sat it down somewhere along the path.
I was done mourning.
I was done being smaller than what I was born to be.
I was done denying myself the love that I wanted, the connection that my soul craved for, and I was done holding up all this emotional armour to protect myself from ever feeling that sort of pain again,
While speaking words to the opposite and saying that all I wanted was my soulmate love.
Rock solid love and commitment.
A conscious man.
A relationship that was based in love and integrity.
A true union of the souls.
Yes that is what I was saying,
while holding up the armour on my heart and soul,
making sure that I could never be penetrated by such a love.
That day, that I sat the shield and sword down,
my heart cried. And with each tear I found myself awakening to the presence of something magical.
There he was.
Yet again.
He had not left me, he had just stepped back,
doing his own work, taking down his own armour,
identifying what he wanted and who he was at his core.
There he was.
And as I took him in with a soft breath in a hug shared,
my heart recognized.
Months passed,
the story built between us,
We danced on the field in this scary land where we were wanting, were recognizing and we were being asked to trust ourselves and each other. Until one day we could no longer deny,
we could no longer hide.
We could no longer use the shielding of our past loves and losses to hide the radiance of what we had together.
With a great senses of urgency we united,
the outside world questioning us.
Fighting against us even.
With each blow the world has given,
the bonds that entwine us grow ever stronger.
And here I sit today,
present to the beauty and the power.
Aware of the depth and amazed in each day how much deeper we go within each other.
As our hearts speak to one another,
our souls smile in the knowing.
Here he is.
Here he is each morning,
and every night,
He does not knock at my door.
No he does not.
But instead he takes my hand and places his heart within it.
Armour down from a day of battle with the world.
We lay together,
we breathe deep into each other,
feeling as though every cell of our earthly being has come home,
Not needing.
Not clinging.
A feeling of fully being seen, being witnessed and with it a desire.
A desire to jump all the way in.
A desire to melt together.
When we set down our armour,
when we let go of the self-imposed bondage of what we feel is lost,
when we let ourselves rise again,
we allow something unimaginable,
magical to form before us.
We allow someone greater.
More aligned.
To love us.
And our souls smile at our coming home.
To all those out there that have lost a great love,
who are clinging to the idea that that was as good as it gets,
that it can never be any more, any better.
No one can love you like that.
That it is not safe to open up to love again,
or that you owe that lost love some loyalty to hold on to it and be impenetrable to all others,
I share this musing today.
Drop your ideas that clinging to what is not yours for the keeping will ever support your desire for your heart’s true love.
It will only block.
Loving you from a scrumptious land,
deep in my heart.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers and Lover’s”
 
Stop settling for your Bullsh*t Love!
You are the only thing that is preventing you from the love, the money and the life happiness that you so want for.
Are you ready to take a deep dive into clearing your sh*t once and for all and openning up to your greatness? Join me for the April Session of Unavavailble for BullSh*t! Reach out to me for deets now or go to
https://kendalwilliams.com/unavailable-for-bullsht-exclusive-program/
 
 
 
 
 
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WHEN I MAKE LOVE TO YOU.

WHEN I MAKE LOVE TO YOU.

 

I make love to me as well.

You open me to depths of my soul that no other has even come close.

I witness my joy,

my warmth,

my desire,

all in your arms,

and I feel carried in your presence.

 

As you look at me,

with eyes on fire with passion and admiration,

I feel the sweetness of your heart,

as well as its hunger.

 

When my breasts touch your chest,

and you pull me closer,

I feel decades passing through us.

There is no time nor space,

it is but only the here and now.

 

As you enter my body with yours,

I breathe deep with anticipation,

I feel athirst for your nectors that feed my soul.

My chest expands as I surrender,

softly, fiercely,

at your hand,

I am breathless with your touch.

 

My eagerness to be taken by you is never ending.

My body aches and yearns for your devouring.

And as you breathe,

my flesh tingles,

my mouth waters,

and I am wet.

 

I am now the ravenous one.

And you are my home.

 

————————————————————————-

 

To all my followers who crave a relationship, a love that penetrates them to their core.

 

Yearning for the entwinement with “the one” that twin soul, that soulmate, that knows you beyond words or life memories of this time.

 

These are the images, the feelings and vibrations that we were born to expereince and we are in search for in our love, in our sex, in our relating. We do not hunger for surface level, superficial relationships, no matter how often we choose to settle for them.

What we desire is the fulfillment of what we know is our home.

And you my dear follower/reader can have just this.

 

But how you may wonder?

If you currently are not looking into the eyes of home, ‘then how can you call that sort of love in?

 

It’s all about authenticity and integrity with self.

It’s all about loving self beyond your darkness and mistakes.

It’s all about KNOWING that YOU ARE WORTHY,

worthy of this connection.

 

And in these things your vibrations will meet.

And you too my dear will experience home.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

2020 was a nasty year for relationships.

Couples and singles alike.

Hard to meet new people.

Difficult to do anything with your current partner.

The stress and worry exhausted many relationships,

and I am here to share with you that 2021 does not have to be the same.

Reach out to me today for my exclusive offers for 2021 for couples to bring back the passion, singles to find true love and more.

LIMITED Opportunities to work with me 1:1

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I CAN’T SEE PAST YOU.

 

I CAN’T SEE PAST YOU.

 

I am going to get real with you, raw with you, vulnerable and share something that scares the shit out of me today in this musing.

 

Ready?

I sure am not, but here we go anyway 🙂

 

I recently let down my guards.

I recently decided to just drop the fear of letting love penetrate me to my core,

I recently took down my shield that was protecting my delicate hungry heart,

and I allowed my soul to lead me right into possibly the last relationship of my life.

 

I possibly opened the floodgates to something that I have craved for, desired and sampled in ways in the past but did not actually believe was possible,

or thought oh that will happen in my golden years if I am lucky.

 

Folks, I can’t see past him.

WTF am I to do with that?

 

Never before have I not been able to see a life past someone.

Even my deepest loves in my past I could see life past them,

without them, it may not have been what I wanted for or desired but I could still look past them and know that there was more,

something greater, deeper, more elevating and penetrating.

 

And here I sit today with the realization that I can’t see past him.

I can’t keep ignoring the words and feelings that rise up in my core,

my soul screams them, my eyes communicate them, my heart shakes and makes me know its desire and to make matters worse he just keeps confirming all of it to me in soft ways and direct ways.

 

I am done with looking for the gotcha’s.

Done with trying to find what’s wrong, why it would not work, should not work, cannot happen. Done with giving a shit about what the world says….

 

Sorta taking a Bonnie Raitt approach to this and just going with,

“Let’s give them something to talk about.”

 

Because the alignment is too f-cking damn good to ignore and turn away from any longer.

 

I AM ALL ABOUT THE ENERGY.

 

Everything is energy.

It’s the most potent, important thing when we are looking at anything in our lives. Especially when we are looking at relationships and building a F-ck Yes! Life.

 

It’s not just chemistry.

Chemistry can fade.

There is New Relationship Energy (NRE) that we all have on the front side of getting together with someone, and it typically lasts anywhere from six months to 3 years if we are lucky, but then it fades and we start to see our partners clearly and as the humans that they are.

 

We can feel alignment when we are meeting in the wounds of our life and they are sinking up with someone else’s,

We can feel energy when we have physical attraction, mental stimulation, emotional bonding or a feeling that someone “gets us” but true energetic connection goes deeper than all of this.

Real soul alignment is more than that feeling like you are seen or understood.

 

Energetic Alignment in Intimate relationships is about elevation of the souls.

 

And it comes from a place of your core.

It comes from two individuals being aligned to who they are first without each other.

Not needing each other, but choosing to add the cherry of the relationship into their already damn good life picture.

 

True soul alignment is a feeling of coming home.

And when you reach that feeling of coming home you most likely will not be able to see a relationship past this one that elevates you into wanting so much more from life and yourself.

 

Soul based relating is about expansion in love.

It is about reaching your edge and knowing that you can go further because you are limitless and together you are limitless.

 

It’s a love that extends past time and space.

 

My experience over the last six weeks of my life is one of great momentum.

Going zero to 300 you could say.

A hundred years traveled in a little over a month,

the feeling of making up for lifetimes of lost time.

A merger of energy so great that I simply don’t have words to describe.

A shattering of my heart that is breathtaking and welcoming.

And here is something I have recognized in my work with thousands of people through the years who have been through this process of coming into soul aligned relationships of this depth and magnitude:

 

You can see the steps as to how you arrived right where you are at and how f-cking perfect everything is. How the synchronicities, the crazy little coincidences, how people, places and timelines guided you to this moment, to this relationship and how had you chosen differently you would have set things back or even missed it.

 

YOU HAD TO BECOME A MATCH TO THIS ENERGY.

 

And that is the truth.

 

We forget how WE,

Yes, we and only we can do this for ourselves. That we have to become a match to the person that we want to call into our lives.

All this talk about soulmates, twin flames, etc….

and the thing that we forget to realize is that we only get to have these powerful, dynamic fully turned on passionate and limitless relationships WHEN we choose to do our damn work and get rock solid in our core as to who the f-ck we are and what we want in life.

 

We have to be unwavering and selfish MF’s to get our energy aligned to this kind of empowered relationship.

 

Until we do so,

we spend our time learning about ourselves,

about what we want and what we do not want.

We take ourselves through the school of love and relationship and gain our education into SELF.

 

And then if we become self-aware.

If we become “woke” as some would say,

then without reservation, without even trying you find yourself just lined up to the most precious, yummy, juicy, fully absorbing, ignited relationship that you can imagine.

 

You will see how you were sampling pieces of it in previous experiences. You were being given the gift of being able to recognize this relationship quickly when you finally decided to become a match to it.

 

And when it comes for you,

there will just be a KNOWING.

 

The questions stop.

Your ego may try to put up a fight,

it may attempt to sabotage out of fear of getting hurt again,

but under that you will still have this undeniable feeling of CERTAINTY.

 

And the world won’t matter.

Your fears will not hold a candle to the power of your heart.

Other opinions, judgement, perceptions you will just turn away from without worry,

because you will just KNOW.

Like you know yourself,

you will recognize this soul aligned relationship.

And you will continue to run forward in faith and enthusiasm.

 

And you most likely will not be able to look past this relationship.

 

Beautiful isn’t it?

 

Intimacy share dear reader:

I sat here the other morning, alone, drinking my coffee, breathing in the crisp morning air, feeling this soul with me energetically even though we were not physically together. I closed my eyes and saw his. And with a breath I fast forwarded through this life,

I sat at the doorstep of death and I took it in.

I felt the goodbye of the physical and I felt his hand in mine.

And I welcomed it because it was a spectacular sharing of a lifetime,

and I knew that not even death could take this from us.

 

Soul alignment.

It’s powerful and pure.

It’s limitless and it is what we all crave and desire.

We may settle for logical, smart and fun.

We may settle for “good enough.”

But we always remain hungry until we access our core and get aligned and right with self.

With soul.

And then leap in faith into life and let ourselves be carried to what we KNOW is home.

 

“I can see the rest of my breaths in this lifetime in your arms.”

 

Yes I can.

————————————————————————–

 

I encourage you today my love, to look deep within yourself and ask yourself if you are settling or contemplating settling for just “good enough” in your relationship, in your love?

 

How does that knowing that you are settling make you feel?

 

Sit with that for a second if you can.

Stop making excuses.

Stop looking for the reasons and focusing on the fear of what if…

 

Instead know that you are worthy of a great penetrative love.

You are worthy of accessing heaven and experiencing a soul merger that you know at your core can be so,

but you currently have no knowledge or relationship with.

 

You must be willing to meet yourself though.

You must be willing to let go of your ego based loving ways,

you’re codependent habits and desires,

and you must be willing to be complete and whole in WHO YOU ARE FIRST.

 

This is your work.

This is the only earning you will ever have to do.

Become elevated to who you are and that soul aligned relationship will magically appear overnight.

 

Trust me,

what you desire and want,

wants and desires you too.

 

It’s time that you say F-ck Yes To YOU Love.

 

Today.

 

Elevate your love.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to elevate your love and life in 2021?

Ready to call in that soul aligned relationship that you cannot see past?

 

Let’s get you aligned to your core love.

Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 and group coaching programs starting in January 2021 and the early bird discounts for those coming later this month.

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A CONNECTION THAT FEELS LIKE YOUR SOUL IS MAKING LOVE.

A CONNECTION THAT FEELS LIKE YOUR SOUL IS MAKING LOVE.

 

This is something that is rare.

It is far and few between,

and it is yummy AF!

 

You cannot force these connections,

you can not hunt for them,

demand or manipulate these connections.

They come into our lives when we are not looking for them,

they ignite us to our core and stir our very souls into their authentic expressions.

Sometimes they birth themselves out of what seems like no where,

and other times they build and reveal themselves slowly over time.

No matter how they manifest,

a connection that draws you in,

ignites your core and makes you feel drunk in your dance with life,

makes you want for more in every moment,

has you opening and surrendering to your beauty,

your brilliance,

just because you have tapped into this energy,

is something to take accounting of.

 

So often in life however we rub up against these magical encounters and we shut down out of fear.

We hide ourselves and run away from them,

because we fear what they will erupt inside of us.

The changes that they can induce.

 

If we have been so lucky to explore such a connection,

then we know its value.

We understand how they birth into existence a new reality of self, life, love and abundance.

How such encounters will forever change us,

making it where all encounters forward will have to be not equal but greater than inorder to emboss themselves on us,

in order to be captivated,

we find ourselves not settling for anything equal or lesser than,

but hungering for more.

And if we are so lucky to have such an encounter come through our lives more than once,

we desire to not let it go.

We desire to breathe life into it,

we desire to feed it with our hearts,

our souls,

our very essence.

 

Because when you have a connection that makes you feel as though you are making love with your souls in any given moment,

without even a physical touch,

but instead all you have to do is close your eyes, breathe deep and feel this connection,

or look into the eyes of the matching soul,

then you understand the power of the connection.

You feel it move you from your deepest depths of self.

You feel it strip you naked and reveal you in ways that you could never imagine.

 

These sort of connections have you smiling for no reason.

Looking at life from the perspective of love instead of fear.

Suddenly you can see opportunities.

You can see solutions.

The little nagging shit does not get you down.

Yes they create rose tinted glasses to your world,

but even more so they have you operating with a smiling heart and soul.

And by doing so,

These sort of soul connections enable us to create a beautiful life.

As they ignite us to our own beauty, power and worthiness,

they create abundance in all things good and magnetize to them more of this feeling.

 

From this feeling of love,

of soul love making,

you find yourself manifesting with ease.

Your life becomes magical.

You operate in ease and flow,

luck seems to follow you everywhere you go.

And people wonder what you are doing?

Why do you radiate so?

 

But how can we call these sort of soul connections into our lives?

 

If you cannot force, hunt or manipulate them to form,

then how does one go about experiencing them.

 

Simple…

practice loving life to its fullest prior and without such connections.

Practice feeling abundant,

in love to your depth,

practice loving self.

Practice feeling your truth,

embody yourself and stay clear of dancing with the desire to over think, worry, fear and hold yourself away from things that rattle your cage.

 

Start to recognize that your world,

your life is manifested from how you feel inside.

It comes about based on who you truly are,

and who you truly are is shown by the thoughts you think,

the feelings you have from those thoughts,

and your ability to own your own truth.

To witness yourself naked, real and authentically without the glasses of ego that distort.

Without the fear of what ifs and ideas, judgements of others.

 

When we let go of the baggage of this world and put our faith back into the reality of love,

then we start to create a magical expression of life.

 

FAITH IS KNOWING WHAT MY SOUL KNOWS WITHOUT LIFE HAVING TO PLAY IT OUT FOR ME PRIOR.

 

And from here…

 

from here we call in the magic of connections that make us feel like we’re making love with our souls.

 

From here we birth into existence our truth.

Our beauty into reality.

And plays it out in our own timeless orchestra before us. 

 

Where we live in bliss.

Peace.

and certainty.

 

It’s time my love for you to embrace this reality as your own.

It is time to lay down the shackles of yesteryear and realize who you are.

 

It is time to claim this magical reality that is available for all of us and is what we are born to realize.

 

Come fly with me.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Reach out to me to discover how you can call in a high vibe relationship today.

 

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A TIMELESS LOVE.

TIMELESS LOVE.

 

That feeling of coming home,

where you feel as though life is fully aligned,

where you have a peace inside no matter how hard the storms outside blow.

 

There is a stillness that overtakes,

the rhythms of life seem to ripple from your heart,

and you just cannot seem to imagine how the feeling can expand any further,

and yet it does.

 

Each breath awakens a greater sense of knowing.

Bringing forth a desire to be fully revealed,

to drop all guards,

all armour being put down as the magnitude of authentic sight comes into play.

 

In total free fall,

going against all that you might have paused over in the past,

fear may rise up but is quickly washed over with your inhale of the reality of what is being presented before you.

 

Mesmerized,

as though in a strange intoxication,

a slumber where you are conscious,

where you are hungry for more.

Yet, in full gratitude for this moment.

Accepting that if this were to be the last moment that you would count yourself blessed to the ends of the earth for having just this moment.

 

This beautiful, timeless moment.

Leaning toward another moment,

breathing in the here and now,

not wanting to miss it.

 

Full absorption,

of self, of life, of this timeless love.

That seems to have been here making itself known from sources that were false, revealing itself in the eyes of others,

for you to recognize.

Naked before self,

before each other,

under the starry sky,

there revealed in full surrender,

the answer that you have looked a millennia for,

that you fear of missing now,

and here…

 

Here it is.

Right before you.

Naked.

Revealed.

 

Asking for you to be no more than who you are.

Desiring no more than your openness.

Your truth.

 

It’s terrifying.

It’s breathtaking.

It’s all you have craved,

and you find yourself torn.

A gripping fear of losing it,

of messing it up,

somehow it escaping yet again.

and then the knowing…

 

The knowing that it is timeless and it cannot be lost.

It has found you,

it has aligned you,

it has awakened and healed your core,

and it is here now to take you deeper than you have ever gone,

to lift you higher then you have ever been before.

 

There is no need to question,

no need to fear,

no need to worry about your intoxication,

there is only the acceptance of it filling you,

lighting you up and revealing you from your soul level.

 

For in the eyes of a timeless love,

there is only this moment.

 

Surrender to it.

Drink it up,

absorb it.

Breathe it in and realize self.

Realize the power that has been gifted,

embrace the passion that is emerging from your soul,

allow yourself to be ignited,

to awaken and be raw,

Naked in every way.

 

Beyond the physical.

A timeless love is always there,

it is there at your greatest depths of self knowing.

It is what we all are called toward,

but few allow themselves to embrace.

 

Timeless love is here to reveal our truth.

To open us to our power and see how beautiful we are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Wanting to tap into that space of learning how to stand naked in every way with life, love and soul?

Reach out to me to learn the steps to awaken your soul today to the freedom based life that you are called to live.

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CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE.

 

CATCH ME IN THE EXHALE

 

The exchange of more than breath. 

The release of more than just air. 

 

The exhale. 

The release. 

The letting go. 

The feeling. 

The exchange that can only be experienced when a deep intimacy is present.

 

We crave to experience it, 

We value and fear it. 

We know its worth, 

But we have little concept of it.

Intimacy, 

True intimacy eludes us in our relationships and often throughout our lives.. 

We hear the tales of intimate love, 

Intimacy in our sex, 

With God and spirit. 

But we hardly grasp what it legitimately is. 

 

That is until we have it upon us. 

Breathing its existence into every fiber of our being. 

And then we know. 

Then it is unquestioned. 

Intimacy is the most powerful energy connection that two people can share. 

It exceeds the physical dimensions. 

It can be felt from opposite sides of the planet, 

It is a breathtaking connection of the rarest form. 

But why is it so elusive to the majority of people, 

For the majority of our lives?

Especially when we crave it, 

Work toward it, 

Value it and believe that we have it often to only discover that we are not even touching its rim when our reality awakens us to how distant we are in our lives from self, lovers and mates as well as God?

 

How do we so easily mistaken intimacy for the physical, 

Or for communication or time shared?

How do we believe that intimacy is a physical sexual act, 

Or something that can only be held in a container with just one?

 

When intimacy is expansive. 

Just like the exhale, 

It’s in the letting go and allowing of. 

It’s in the leaning into its ebb and flow, 

It’s in the energy of the exchange. 

The crossing of energetic paths and the meeting of souls that are aligned. 

It is the energetics of connection. 

It is the depth that we journey into, 

That exceeds words, actions and thought. 

There is no distance that can prevent us from touching our lover intimately, 

Through our sexual energy when we have this connection. 

We can go there on the waves of emotion felt, 

The visions we share, 

The heartbeat of our combined ripples in time. 

It is the exhale to our lovemaking, 

It is the exhale from our running toward, 

It is the exhale in our surrender, 

And the exaltation of our joy in our meeting. 

 

Intimacy is an energetic connection that has no reason to the ordinary. 

It has no explanation as to why we have it with some and why no matter how hard we work to achieve it with others that it can never be. 

 

There is no true methodology to create it. 

It balances on the tightrope of vulnerability and unconditional love. 

It needs witnessing and embracing for its truth. 

And it can never live when it is controlled, harnessed or demanded to exist when it is not in its natural state. 

 

You must catch it in the exhale of your very existence, 

And in the exhale of all that you know and have known. 

Because here is the only place where you can discover its beauty and strength. 

Its depth and value, 

It is the only place that you will be able to appreciate it for what it is and see that it is nothing like that, that you have experienced thus far. 

 

When you release into the exhale of intimacy you will allow yourself to drift without question. You will enjoy the simplest of things and find yourself speaking without a need for words. 

The silence of your energetic communication will be met with eye’s of knowing and hearts abound with love. 

 

You will fall in trust into intimacy, 

Because it is there to soothe you. 

It is there to comfort and hold you in the knowing. 

 

Can you feel it?

Have you felt it?

 

Truly. 

 

Or are you still captivated by the illusion of what you believe it should be and unhappy with the results of what you have?

 

Do you find yourself scratching your head in bewilderment at what I speak of. 

Unable to grasp its power. 

Unwilling still to lean into the challenging space of the unknown. 

And let go. 

 

Exhale into all that you crave with life, 

With your lover or mate, 

Your child and friend, 

With God and self. 

 

Intimacy is about the revealing of your deepest self. 

It is about taking down all the barriers and being seen. 

Intimacy has no boundaries. 

Not physical nor space. 

And that is the challenge of the human mind. 

We resist the inability to control. 

We fear what we have no say in. 

And so we turn our backs on the beauty of what we crave. 

We hide and complain, 

We fight for the limitations of it and we disregard the fact that it us that is setting up the walls to this beautiful energetic connection. 

It is our eyes that are blinded by fear. 

Hidden from our sight by ego. 

We can not recognize under the veils that we cover ourselves with the falsities of fear.

 

And so it remains elusive. 

And we sit in our inner chaos, 

desiring what we believe it is, 

Wanting always for more. 

And never satisfied. 

Always lost and empty to some degree in the relationship of life. 

With our lovers, ourselves and God.

 

But it is time my love. 

It is time to let go and exhale. 

That is where you will catch me at. 

That is the space that I choose to surrender into and meet you there. 

 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” Rumi.

 

Yes here. 

 

Here my love. 

Here is where you will find me, 

Witnessing self and life. 

Exhaling into intimacy. 

Into you. 

Into me. 

Into life. 

 

Will you catch me in the exhale?

 

Breath.

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

It’s time to receive the lover of your dreams.

It’s time to stop fearing the what ifs. 

It’s time to say yes to your F-ck Yes Life, 

Now and forever more. 

 

Reach out to me for coaching opportunities globally.