STOP WORKING THROUGH YOUR SH*T – IT’S JUST AN EXCUSE TO BE YOU.

A spiritual path is not meant to “fix” who you are but instead to “reveal” who you are.

 

So stop your MF processing around the path.

How much do you have stop and stare at the rocks, the weeds, the trampled flowers, the horse sh*t that was dropped and anything else that you deem to not be pleasant and an imperfection to your path?

 

Granted I am not telling you to disregard your sh*t.

That would not be good for sure,

and we can easily look out into the world of the energetically blind and deaf who do just this ALL THE TIME, and see what A-holes they are,

but what I am wanting to bring your awareness too is that perhaps you are actually using your “processing” of your sh*t as an excuse to not move forward.

As a reason a.k.a excuse/blame of the outside world and past events/people so that you can lean out of your power right now and just sit in your victim status.

 

Maybe, just maybe you are thinking that all is forgiven in your “working through it” and that because you are oh so responsible and aware of your sh*t that the world should just bow to you and be okay with you NOT GETTING THROUGH YOUR SH*T…

 

Because you have been working’ it.

You have been doing the damn THING that you know you need to do,

it is not your fault that it’s just not seeming to get through to the core.

 

Well, I get all that.

 

Virgo here!

Processor here!

Hyper-Critical of self for sure here!

Analyzer and Overly responsible for self and the world here!

 

Yeppers, those are all me.

And they are always me even when I write up musings like this one handing you your sh*t back.

I write this because I feel responsible,

I want to help,

I am speaking to myself as well,

and I get the “awoken mindset” of processing is key to growth and transformation.

 

After all, you cannot change the things that you are not aware of, right?

 

Right.

 

So now that you are aware of your sh*t,

and if you are a relatively intelligent person,

or at least can get some basic common sense,

then WTF makes you believe that by standing in the epicenter of your sh*t and focusing on it, digging through it, and smelling it much longer is going to ever clear the path and make you perfect?

 

Let’s just ask,

“Do you honestly believe that the path or you were ever intended on being perfect according to our idea of perfection?”

 

Would you ever learn a damn thing if the path was perfect?

Would you really be happy if you believed yourself to be perfect?

Would you really want a relationship with a said “perfect” person?

 

Life is about clarifying who we are.

Life is about growth and expansion, and growth and expansion ONLY occurs when we can learn, gain knowledge and insight, have experiences, and gain wisdom.

 

Wisdom among other things comes from mistakes.

A.k.a learning.

 

Or you could also say CONTRAST.

 

Contrast is another way of looking at the life that we are manifesting and the life that we desire to manifest.

What we perceive as good and bad.

 

And we cannot have, nor even truly know what we want if we do not ever experience what we do not want at some level. When we experience these spaces of growth and learning in the contrast of life it makes us want for something better and it sets us to a grander vision for who we are.

 

Expanding us.

 

That expansion creates room for us to manifest in what we learned that we wanted from the contrast that was provided.

And we easily manifest it when we RELAX into the knowing that it is ours when we sooth ourselves back into a feel good place in our hearts and thoughts.

 

Now let me ask you this…

 

How does processing make you feel?

Does it excite you?

Is processing and over analyzing your every pile of sh*t soothing to your soul? your thoughts and feelings?

 

Or have you discovered that all the processing out is actually just causing you stress because NOW you really see where you have been f-cking up and the more you focus on your f-ck ups, the more insecure you are feeling in who you are, your path and your choices?

 

I am betting it is the latter here. (Just sayin’)

 

So what are you to do if you don’t want to keep repeating some sh*t on your path,

but you now sorta realize that your hyper focus to your sh*t is causing you to remain in your sh*t and even creating a neediness and lack of personal responsibility that is in turn making you out of integrity with WHO YOU REALLY ARE?

 

Are you ready for it?

 

Here is my big answer for ya.

Stop trying to be like someone else.

Stop trying to get it all right.

Stop fearing who you are and JUST DO YOU.

Be YOU.

 

You have got to accept and love you in all your sh*t,

or you will run around this life with everyone avoiding you because YOU ARE AVOIDING YOU.

 

If you are looking to the outside world to give you direction as to who you are then that is the sh*t pile you need to turn and walk away from right now.

 

Find your soothing thoughts.

Appreciate the contrast of your life.

Follow what feels legitimately good to your soul,

and stop acting out of fear of losing people or things.

 

It has you over processing you.

 

And that,

that will get you into a pile of pity, victim sh*t like no other.

 

So JUST STOP.

 

SAY IT WITH ME….

 

MY OVER PROCESSING AND SELF-CRITICISM IS KEEPING ME OUT OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY AND SOUL ALIGNMENT.

 

LET THAT SH*T GO.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to be unavailable for bullsh*t?

Yours and others?

 

Reach out to me now for the April start of a powerful transformative 8-week 1:1 intensive where we will learn just how to do this.

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN LIGHT.

THE FUTURE IS ALWAYS BRIGHT…. NO MATTER THE SHADOW OF THE MOUNTAIN.

 

Recently my life partner and I drove up to Pikes Peak in Colorado together. It was bitter cold out, the fresh snow lay everywhere. People flocked to sled and enjoy snow ball fights.

The crisp winter wind felt amazing on my flesh as I stood there looking out over the valley that lay at the base of the peak.

 

I recall at one moment, standing with my partner’s arms around me. We looked out at the vastness before us,

and I could feel the message of the universe in that moment.

There we were, in the shadow of Pikes Peak, a great mountain blocking the rays of the warm sun, a crisp snowy breeze blowing around us, and we felt limitless in that space.

 

We felt grounded.

Stroung.

and in love with life.

Clarity in what we wanted and the path that we had chosen together was our guiding light.

Just like the miles that stretched out in front of this mountain were sunstruck, warm and bright, so was our future.

 

And I was reminded…

That you cannot always pre-map out the journey.

Often great things come unexpected.

However,

 

YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS YOURS.

 

If you believe that your possibilities are limitless,

then they are.

If you believe that you are surrounded and held in love,

then you are.

If you believe that you can live a life of abundance, adventure and joy,

then you can.

 

The problem is that so often we choose to own our worst nightmares.

 

We choose to focus in on what we don’t have and accept it as our reality,

we purchase that for our life destination and journey instead of what we claim that we hunger for at our souls level.

 

And THIS REALITY IS SO THEN.

You may say that you did not plan for all the shit to happen,

that its not in your plan or picture to stand there without a great love in your life,

or to believe that you always lose in love.

You may claim that its not in your agenda to create financial destruction,

the loss of house and home,

divorce, strife and health issues,

but honey, the reality is that you are looking for it.

 

This time of Covid has proven to me just how many people leap at the opportunity to jump into their victim status,

I see so many people wanting to test positive for the Rona,

saying,

” I am sick. I must have the Rone.”

 

or blaming the economy because of critical times for their financial pictures,

their relationship stress.

Their “inability” to get out and do things,

for their weight gain, poor eating and sluggish habits.

 

Well if your hidden agenda is to be a victim,

then guess what luv,

YOU WILL BE A MF VICTIM.

 

And you will stay in the shadow of life,

in the shadow of all those who choose differently.

You will stand there,

and be a spectator to others thriving,

because you planned to be limited by life.

 

YOU EXPECT TO BE LIMITED.

 

And you will only ever get as far as you plan.

Or you could open up those plans to the possibilities that YOU ARE IN FACT LIMITLESS.

 

Unless, that scares you too much, of course.

Because that might require you to step out of the herd,

and grow a pair.

That might demand of you to go digging deeper inside yourself then you have ever gone before.

That might require you to look good and hard at your inner demons ,

those thoughts, fears, desires, and opinions,

that are holding you the f-ck back.

 

Now granted you can continue down that path you are on,

you can plot it out,

step by step,

and you can prepare for the worst case scenarios in every which way possible,

and you can stand guard.

Pick your MF armour up and be ready to battle life at every perceived turn,

and sure that might not be bad,

if your goal in life is to survive it long enough to die anyway,

and look back at a empty path,

where you retreated and warred with anything that caused you to expand.

With anything that asked you to trust in your heart and soul.

That required you to have it to leap and open your wings.

 

Sure you can get by like that.

The majority of folks do.

 

But thats all they do,

GET BY.

 

And sit there in the land of spectatorship.

Wishing for something more.

Questioning why others always have, do and create.

Not feeling fulfilled.

Seen.

Truly loved.

 

Or…

 

You could do something a bit differently and step out of the crowd.

You could realize that the valley before you lit up with all that radiant glory,

is yours for the taking.

 

It will just require you to have a higher perspective on life.

To tap the f-ck into your truth,

and to have enough courage to say F-ck Yes! To You.

 

This Is not average and ordinary living.

No.

What I am proclaiming and believe is accessible and our right as humans is to live limitless and THRIVE.

 

That we each are worthy beyond measure of just that.

That our dreams and desires are set before us not to tease us,

not to cause us disappointment in life and self,

or point out our lack or inabilities,

but instead they are put there,

 

FOR THE TAKING.

 

They are there because they are rightfully ours to begin with.

 

They WILL REQUIRE us to become a match to them.

 

They will require that we step out of our comfort zones.

They will require that we expand,

that we open ourselves up to our limitlessness.

 

They will without a doubt require that WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT.

 

And the courage to gain all that we want and feel that depth and level of fulfillment,

well it will only come when we stop standing in the way of our own sunshine as Waldo Emerson said.

 

Because the reality is….

That most of the mountains that we believe are blocking our path and our great plans,

are only us standing in our own sunshine.

 

 

Time to set yourself free baby.

Time to know your truth.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to make 2021 your year to be limitless?

Let’s get started today with a course change.

Reach out to me about 1:1 opportunities and group events as well.

MY DADDY EARL JUST LOVES IT WHEN I PRAY, YA’LL.

 

MY DADDY EARL JUST LOVES IT WHEN I PRAY, YA’LL.

 

I get down on my knees before him and he praises God at the sight of it. Every time he pops his lips I know exactly what he wants from me. I lick my lips and start to hum him the song of an angel.

I love how he gets so passionate at my hummin’.

Sometimes he will even grab a hold of my pigtails and shake full of the holy ghost moving through him. He tells me that when the holy ghost moves through him that it is his favorite thing and only my hummin’ can make it happen.

 

I love making him shake in spirit like that.

Makes me feel so good inside.

 

————————————————————————-

 

Yeppers folks.

I went there.

If you missed my livestream on this then maybe you need to go explore it.

 

Or maybe not…

Not if you are a prude that is.

Please don’t, I do not want to hear it from you in that case or have you rolling your eyes at my crazy.

 

You know it was not that long ago that I would have freaked the

f-ck out about playing games like this with my lover.

I would have been too caught up in my own bullsh*t to have fun.

I would have believed that my partner would not like me if I pretended to play like this.

 

I mean sex is serious.

Relationships are serious.

 

LOL… not good sex and relationship.

Sure there is some seriousness in there, of course,

but if you are not laughing, finding yourself feeling youthful, full of desire and thirst for fun then I can tell you that your relationship and sex are getting ready to flatline if they have not already.

 

I have worked with so many hundreds of couples through the last decade as a relationship coach and the one thing that I am always sharing with them is how important PLAY is in the relationship.

 

Playfulness inside and outside of the bedroom or wherever you are doing the nasty at…

 

Adventure dates.

More than just dinner and a movie.

Get creative, learn something new together.

Get a little edgy, make your heart flutter like it was your first kiss all over again.

Do things that you typically would not think to be a date even.

 

Some of my favorite dates and sexual experiences did not cost a fortune. They did not take place in traditional ways.

But instead they revealed to me my lovers desire, joy, inner child and explorer. They created a space for each of us to explore ourselves and each other in ways that we had not yet.

 

One time I was told to meet my lover at a gas station. I did so and he filled up my car, then told me to drive next door and give my keys to the man at the detail shop. I did so. He followed me and picked me up there. I got into his car, he blind folded me, kissed me passionately and asked if I was ready for a little fun adventure.

 

I said yes.

He said okay we got 90 minutes.

Next thing I knew he handed me a glass of my favorite chardonnay in a togo wine glass. I took a few sips and he took it from me replacing it with some glass yoni eggs and told me to insert them and do some squeezes.

 

I did so.

Then he handed me a little bullet vibrator and told me to insert that.

And so I did.

There I sat, eggs vibrating in my vagina, wine back in hand, blindfolded in his car as he drove around a parking lot a bit to make sure I had no clue what direction we were headed next.

 

From there he took me to lunch.

He parked the car,

came around my side and got me out, blindfold still on.

Walked me into a busy restaurant and told me to walk up to the nice man at the register and tell her I wanted the special.

ANd so I took a deep breath and did so.

As I did this I could hear all the people passing me by, talking about what was going on, wondering what we were doing, snickering. I could feel their eyes even though I could not see them. I had to face myself.

I had to face my own ego at this moment.

My lover took my hand and arm and walked me to a table where he sat me down, got me some more wine, helped me sip it and then he proceeded to feed me lunch while I sat there helpless and blindfolded.

 

Once done he walked me back to the car,

got me buckled in and took me off to….

 

Dessert of course. 🙂

He parked again,

walked me into a cold and strange smelling place.

Told me to ask the nice man at the register for the special, and so I did.

The man handed me a waffle cone with my favorite ice cream in it.

My lover took me back to the car, got me buckled and drove around in circles some more.

The sun would hit me in the eye’s every now and then and I found myself wanting for the next moment of surprise.

Sure enough he stopped the car.

Got me out but before doing so, took my shoes off.

As I got out I found myself standing on something wet and cool, he asked if I knew where I was, but I did not.

Then I got back in the car.

 

From there he drove a distance, the road changed from paved to dirt. And he parked.

He came around and got me out of the car, still barefoot.

He walked me through some grass, up and over a wood bridge of some sort and into a closed in space that felt like it was out in the middle of a field. Here is bound my wrists, kissed me some more and began to touch me passionately.

Before I knew it he was laying me down on a blow up mattress that was out here in this building we were in.

He removed my clothes, kissed my body with hunger.

My excitement grew.

I was trying to figure out where we were,

I could feel a breeze by my feet and my head at the same time, yet I was in some enclosed structure. As I scooted up the bed some and he proceeded to go down on me, my bound arms lifted above my head to only find themselves in some bushes and grass right there.

 

Where was I?

He devoured me.

He made passionate primal love to me.

It was heated and intense.

Once done, he grabbed me, stood me up, dressed me, walked me back to his car, unbound me wrists but kept the blindfold on.

Got me in the car, handed me my wine and then we drove off.

Before I knew it he was parking.

He leaned in, kissed me, told me he loved me and hoped that I enjoyed our adventure as he took off my blindfold.

 

There I was parked behind my now detailed and fully cleaned and gassed up car.

 

90 minutes after the time I had dropped it off.

He wished me a great afternoon and got me my car keys.

 

To this day I do not know all the details of this adventure.

But what I do know is how much I loved it.

How I will cherish that moment in time forever.

How I accessed a deeper level of myself, of my sex and of that relationship in that moment.

 

It was vulnerable.

It was intimate.

It was connective.

It required trust on both sides.

It was playful and it brought us both great joy.

 

And what did it take?

 

Well we will never know because he ain’t tellin’

but what it ultimately took was CREATIVITY and DESIRE TO PLAY.

 

And that is the point to this whole tale and to my livestream earlier.

 

In relationship we grow tired and bored of our sex and of each other because we forget how to court.

We forget how to play, to laugh and be joyous in our sex and relationship and therefore it all gets tiring and old.

Like a chewed up piece of gum that lost its flavor years ago.

 

But it does not have to be like that.

You can have a dynamic connective deep relationship if you will simply allow yourself to get real and raw,

to be seen and to enjoy.

 

Stop taking your sex so damn seriously.

Instead start enjoying your flesh, your partner’s flesh.

Your laugh and their laugh.

Get a little edgy with each other.

Discuss things you would like to explore and try.

Start to believe that you can be creative,

that you do have the time,

and that it does not have to take an arm and a leg to create spectacular events for the one you love.

 

 

It’s time to level up your love.

It’s time to stop accepting boring as your normal in your sex and relationship.

 

It’s time to get down and dirty and play in the sandbox together.

Seriously.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to claim that F-ck Yes! Relationship with your partner?

Ready to stop settling for boring as your norm?

 

I sure AF hope so! Cuz’ you are worthy of so much more and so is your relationship and sex.

 

Reach out to me today to learn the secrets of a playful turned on relationship.

 

WATCH THE LIVESTREAM HERE NOW!

 

Why Gratitude for 2020 & You.

SO MUCH GRATITUDE…
==========
SO MUCH LOVE…
———-
2020 has been the year where I am reminded that life is not prejudice.
Life does not look at us humans and say you are more deserving or less deserving of anything.
Good or bad,
no matter how we may perceive the story of what we are living,
life does not care.
Life just is.
Life just corrisponds to our energy,
to our emotions, our fears, our thoughts and even in the midst of that,
sometimes shit happens to good people.
Life brings with it a deep suffering until we learn how to let go and let God.
Until we release our need to try and control any situation,
because all situations are out of our control in truth.
The truth of anything is subjective depending on whom is looking at it and how they choose to feel about it.
Life pushes us to reach our limits with strength,
in our courage and in our faith.
Life expands us past the containers we understand to be love and into greater vessels where we learn to hold even more by accessing our core selves and embracing them fully.
When we do this something miraculous happens,
something unexpected happens,
we find reinforcement from something outside of ourselves,
a knowing that there is so much more then what we perceive.
2020 has been the greatest of teachers in this for many people of our world.
It has brought us to our knees,
it has made us question our health policies and organizations,
it has made us examine our world leaders,
and it has shown a light of the illness that still plauges our beautiful home lands.
Life is not prejudice even though we people are often,
and more so then prejudice,
we humans are fickle AF!
We are fickle in everything we live for and desire.
We are fickle in our love,
in our wantings,
we are fickle with our beliefs and our truth.
we will stand and look someone in the eye and tell them that we are there for them,
and when they do not do as we desire we shun and persicute.
We fall in and out of love like we change our under garments.
We change our beliefs, our ideas and our feelings just as quickly,
wagering them on how we feel we should appear to be accepted,
to gain the connection, the support or appreciation that we desire.
And here we fall prey to the human condition of not standing rock solid in our core.
Not knowing whom we are as a person.
And not KNOWING that there is so much more out there for us.
We each were born worthy,
there is nothing more for us to do.
You never become unworthy.
You just choose to hide from your beauty,
to hide from your truth and knowing that God is always there.
That miracles can happen and that they should be expected.
2020 is a year where so many people have lived in fear and shut down.
A year that many are eager to have pass in hopes that 2021 will not say,
“Hold my bear 2020.”
———-
2020 has certainly taken its toll on my family.
It has brought with it pain, suffering, heart pounding moments of fear and agony.
Events that none would ever have believed possible have occured,
and yet in the same turn it has brought with it a beauty,
a stillness and a rendering of the soul that is breathtaking.
Love has been found,
deep wounds have been healed,
spiritual connections of lifetimes past have been reunited,
there is a dance of beauty amidst the suffering and pain.
And I am reminded each day as I light a candle for my grandson who remains in critical care, and as I sit in meditation and breathe in the cool autumn breezes and ponder the darkness of some peoples souls,
that my pondering of the darkness,
my fear over a loss,
that my pain as a mother who can do nothing to but sit in silence and hold space for her daughter, for her son-in-law and for her granbaby that my suffering,
their suffering has a purpose.
The anger that surges through me in moments.
The fear of what tomorrow brings,
the agony of that and so much more is beyond measuring some days,
and yet…
here in this moment of 2020,
where I never thought this nor the other sufferings of the year that have come could ever be so,
I find myself breathing in and turning it all over.
Because what can any of us do but surrender to life in these moments and know that in our surrender,
where we have met the edge of our strength and our courage that this is the space for something magnificent to occur.
This is the space where if we can get out of our own way,
and do so in deep love and certainty,
that we create the space for miracles.
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE LIGHT THAN DARKNESS IN OUR WORLD.
Our only challenege is that we humans choose to focus in on the shadows,
we choose to bring attention and power to everything that we fear and do not want for.
We spend more time focusing, nightmaring and emotionalizing the darkness then we do the light.
Many people have come to me the last month and asked me how I was doing with everything happening with my eldest two daughters and thier families and the recent break-up of myself and my three year relationship.
My truth is such,
I am at peace.
I am in love.
I am elated.
Despite the suffering and pain,
the fear and the anger.
My core knows its truth.
And that the truth of my core is that the ONLY THING ANY OF US CAN DO IS STAY ALIGNED TO SOUL.
Stay aligned to God.
To Source.
Because when we do this we will feel peace and love and we can then hold loving unconditional space for those in our lives and in this world.
When we feel anything outside of love and peace,
joy and happiness,
it is a sign that we are not aligned to who we really are and that we are focused on ill perceptions of the truth instead of what could be.
Miracles happen when we believe that our reality can shift and that we are worthy of that shift.
This Thanksgiving I encourage you to look at your life,
to look at this world and ask yourself where you are being a victim?
Where are you choosing to view life in darkness instead of light?
Where are you stomping your feet and pounding your fists with a concept that it is not fair and that you had nothing to do with the suffering that may be upon you?
And realize this….
YOU PLAY A MAJOR ROLE.
In EVERYTHING.
There are no victims,
we are all volunteers,
no matter how dark the day may seem,
you have a choice to get your thoughts and emotions aligned TODAY to what you truly desire.
Aligned to happiness.
And it starts with GRATITUDE and RESPONSIBILITY.
What do you choose to focus on.
In loving gratitude to 2020 and to you my sweet follower for today,
for your soul lighting up this planet at this time in our history and for your beautiful heart that you choose to share with those in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
— Lets crank out 2021 in a spectacular way.
Reach out to me about abundance minset and life coaching for next year today.
Let’s make 2021 a F-ck Yes! Year.

It Takes Courage To Have An Authentic Relationship.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

I have this belief that ALL…

Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work  that those who have successful open relationships do.

 

I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,

that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.

 

Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.

“Think” they love each other unconditionally.

“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.

“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.

 

Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.

“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.

That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.

 

Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.

And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.

 

And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.

You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,

but I ask you, is this true?

 

98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,

that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.

But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.

 

They suck at communication.

Because they keep it at a surface level.

There is no depth in relating.

And if they touch on depth,

it causes confrontation,

triggers old wounds and fears,

and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.

 

So they avoid it.

They shut their truth down,

they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,

and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.

 

When the hard fact is that they have challenges.

 

It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.

It takes courage to be real in a relationship.

It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.

It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.

And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.

 

But f-ck is it worth it,

just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.

 

You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,

then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?

 

If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?

 

If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?

 

If you define yourself based on your relationship,

which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,

then how can you be truthful with another?

 

To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.

 

Remember that humans are fickle.

We ebb and flow,

we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.

 

In authentic relating we understand that

there is your business,

there is my business,

and there is God’s business,

and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.

Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.

 

The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.

They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.

 

This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.

This is a person who can truly be honest and real.

This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.

 

As it is so intended.

relationships need to evolve over time.

This means that both parties need to do the same.

 

Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,

causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.

This is the coward’s path.

And it typically results in two things:

*Unhappiness

*Relationship Failure

 

It takes courage to relate authentically.

It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.

It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.

It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.

 

But when we stand in courage and face our truth,

love ourselves through our fears,

we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.

 

And THIS….

THIS is what we all crave and desire.

 

You are worthy of this beauty.

You are worthy of this sort of love.

 

Offer it to yourself and your partner today,

by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.

 

Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.

Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

If You Don’t Have Courage You Are F-cked!

OMG! I am so addicted to Ozark.

I have been just loving this Netflix series and a person like myself that never really sits down to watch television of any sort. It’s perfect to find a series that is a few seasons in so I can binge watch it at points in my life when I am in the groove to do just that.

 

And that is what I have been doing in the evenings a few nights a week over the last month.

 

So I am on Season 3 of Ozark,

and don’t worry all you peep’s who are on previous seasons,

I am not going to spoil anything  for you in this share today.

But this season for sure does some twists and turns and leaves you going, “well that is about time” at points and then has you saying, “OMFG! did that just happen?” at other points.

 

The other night though, Wendy the main female lead for Ozark was putting on an event for this politician. As they were walking around the event site discussing things they end up in a conversation about what people want from a leader, and Wendy with her background in politics says to this man, “If you don’t have courage you are f-cked!”

 

This man’s face was questioning and curious to her statement, and she goes on to explain simply to him that the people want to see and will only follow and respect someone who has the balls to stand out there and speak up.

 

Which made me think about the truth of this statement.

And what it means to you and me,

the common folk (lol… I am far from f-cking common…and I hope that you are too.)

 

To be courageous in life.

To be courageous in our desires.

To be courageous in our relationships,

and with our health and well-being.

To be courageous in our work,

in our play,

in our spiritual paths.

 

Courageous equates to this simple truth,

Fortune or even better Well-Being and Abundance of all things wanted for favors the BOLD.

 

AKA – COURAGEOUS.

 

SO what Wendy in Ozark stated is true for any of us,

if we wanat for a life that manifests our dreams,

that provides us with the love and money,

the health and purpose,

the connection and respect,

the fulfillment that we want for,

then we must be couragous or we are f-cked.

 

In not being courageous we sacrifice EVERYTHING.

We turn it over to the luck of the draw you could say and our draw will remain of unsatisfactory measures because we are throwing our hands up and being a victim to the world instead of boldly standing in our dream, in our passion, in our truth.

 

People come to me all the time,

and even just this last few days in my dozen or so client appointment that I did 1:1 with beautiful peep’s,

I was presented the common statement of,

 

” I just can’t stop thinking this way.”

” I am just stuck right here and I don’t know what to do.”

“Everything I try doing does not work.”

“You said just turn my attention to something that feels better and that only works for a few moments then I am right back to the crazy, crazy in my head where I am caught in a negative loop.”

 

Well, my soul response to these statements,

these beliefs that are being verbalized is simple,

“It takes f-cking courage to catch yourself and to stay the course of loving yourself enough to see when you are down this rabbit hole and know that there is not a damn thing that you can do about it because you have built too much momentum around it.

 

It takes courage to see this truth, to take responsibility for it and love yourself out of it by dropping that ball of momentum and focusing in on something that feels totally off topic and silly,

even meaningless, but has no negative charge to it. Is easy. and then apply playful focus to this meaningless thought that actually feels good.

 

It takes courage to do this.

Because it goes against everything that we have been taught in our human experience by those who we love and respect, who have our best interest in heart and who have lived more than us. It takes courage to go against the concept that we have to dig more into an issue to resolve it and change it.

 

But when you truly think about it it’s crazy to keep adding more attention to that, that we do not desire to manifest. Focusing in on it will only guarantee our failure, or the same results that we have been getting and will only assure us more negative feelings and fear. It will only solidify the evidence against us.

 

You can not fix a problem as long as you are part of it.

You can not change negative thoughts and feelings that have a ton of momentum as long as you remain in them,

being in the middle of the thought and trying to think yourself out of it from that space of negativity and focus on the subject that you have resistance, thus pain wrapped up around will NEVER,

I mean never get you what you want.

You will never change your stinking thinking this way.

 

You will only expand and grow in it to create more of it and bounce around from negative thought to negative thought with a split second of relief here and there, only to give it back up again to what you are comfortable in,

the negative.

 

So if you are wanting to change your physical, mental and emotional experiences in your life to something that feels more fulfilling, loving, connective, joyful and abundant than you have to be courageous enough to catch yourself in your crap and then courageous enough to to drop it where it is and just except that that though path is going to run a muck, but you don’t have to keep playing with it, you don’t have to keep it active. And your best bet is to find something that is almost meaningless to play with, but is easy to think good about, to feel good about.

 

Create momentum around that and watch the other fizzle out.

 

It’s a bold move love.

It’s going to require you to step away from the comfort of chaos and drama,

away from your normal feelings,

away from what you perceive as your truth,

and to instead stand in courage and do what is right for you.

 

And when you do this consistently the rewards will be phenomenal.

Your life picture will change,

your path will expand and your dreams will start to emerge before your eyes like magic.

 

What you want for, wants you too.

But you have to have the courage to level up yourself and your life to manifest it with ease.

 

You are so worthy of this and more.

Have courage today to soothe yourself instead of beat yourself.

 

In love to you always.

And As Always,

 

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

You were born worthy of so much more than what you are allowing right now.

 

It is time that you say YES to you.

Message Me for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.

I can kick your a*s from anywhere globally.

Resistance to Your Heart Is Holding Back Your Desired Life.

The sky was coming down on me.

There I lay,

thrown out on the cold, damp grass…

Staring up into the heavens,

the full moon casting its light  down on me as though it was encouraging my breakdown.

I felt the earth beneath my body,

firm and cold to my plea,

my plea of not being enough.

 

This life that I have created,

this life that I love so deeply,

with all of its souls,

all the adventure,

all of the beauty.

Many days I feel that I am not good enough for this life.

I question why God has been so good to me?

Why do I keep reaping blessings,

why do people share such deep love with me,

Why do they value me so?

 

Don’t they see…

Don’t they see the human that I am.

The girl who still feels that she is not enough.

That pigeon toed wallflower who is lost in this thing called life?

 

Don’t they see that I fear myself.

I fear my messages.

I fear the spirit that moves through me,

that provides me such intensity at times.

 

I fear my heart.

That it may be wrong in its judgement,

it may guide me to loss and pain.

I fear that it was my heart that caused all of the pain,

and I know differently.

I know that the pain,

the sorrow,

is all based in my desire to control the outcome of my life.

I know that my heart which speaks from the place of deep understanding of soul,

never missguides.

It does not judge.

It knows.

It knows it truth,

and it just asks that I listen.

 

But I find on some days I cannot hear it for all the chaos that this beautiful life of mine has in it.

 

I cannot make out who I am on some days,

for who I am trying to be for everyone else.

 

And in this,

I become lost.

Just as you.

 

I snuggle into my humanness,

and I hold myself strong to the course that my head,

that my ego and all of society would tell me to be right and true.

And then in my final moments,

before I LET GO….

I find myself fighting to not drop to my knees,

to not lean in to this call.

This call that is so overpowering,

so enticing and juicy.

This call that I know if I let it pull me will guide me to all that I have wanted.

 

But I resist just a moment more.

I harden myself to all that I feel,

I toughen up like I have been told,

and I smile though I want to weep.

 

I say yes when I should say no.

I resist my truth yet some more.

As though it is helping me.

As though this will make me happy,

and solve my worlds problems.

 

Oh how funny we humans are.

How silly we are to run from all that we want,

all the while claiming we are pushing toward it.

 

We can not see our path,

as it lays out with each blind step that we take,

we cannot see it,

but if we learn to LET GO,

we can feel it.

It moves through us,

it moves us with each breath,

and those who choose to drop to their knees,

to lean into the call,

and allow our hearts to be seen,

if only for that flicker in time,

we grasp vision from the heavens above,

and we move.

 

 

Softly.

Gracefully.

In love.

 

We move.

 

But what you may not want to see,

is the mess,

the mess of this dropping.

The mess of letting go,

it may appear that one is falling apart,

trembling and lost more than ever before,

but this is a moment of expansion.

And a moment of revealing.

A moment where the heart leads.

 

There are no breakdowns,

only breakthroughs.

 

But we must allow them to be seen.

As we allow our hearts the same,

and through this process of shattering,

we transform who we are into who we were born to be.

 

BREATHE.

 

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Feel like you are lost and falling apart at the seams?

Like you have been working so hard for the life that you want,

but it still is not before you.

Let’s chat! Let’s get you cracked open and expanded so that YOU can call it in NOW.

 

Reach out to me about deet’s on 1:1 coaching and group now.

I View All My Clients As Lovers.

It is frequently assumed that I go on many dates with many men..

It is assumed that to be a coach who teaches people how to have more, and deeper better sex that I must be loose or easy to bed.

That sex is something I am addicted too even.

Its often assumed that because I am the mother of seven that I am uncontrollable and quenchless in my thirst for sex or orgasm.

People often say to me,
” you would think that a sex coach would have figured out what causes pregnancy by now.”

Many look at me with horrified questioning eyes as they inquire if I will have any more children or why I am not currently married.

The assumptions roll through thier minds and almost escape thier lips.

Perhaps even you dear reader and follower wonder and question.
Perhaps you are among the assumers.
And I want you to know that I thank you.
I thank you for all that you feel.
All that you think.
And all that you sometimes goofily share in your assumptions.

I see your humanness.
And I do not judge it.
As you judge me.

I know what my truth is.
I know whom I love.
I know that my heart,
My message and my calling is felt and seen by those it is meant for.

Not everyone can be like a taco as my best friend would say.
And even though I may have a body part that resembles,
I am still not a taco.

I write this musing this evening to shed the light on how we judge what we do not understand.
How we cast stones with certainty,
But are enraged when they are thrown back without due reason in our opinion.

Today I share with you from a place I choose to call the labyrinth of mirrors.

This is the place where we can choose to see ourselves in ALL we come in contact with on our life journey,
Or we can turn away from them,
Look downward and become lost in the maze of our own fears and self criticism.

What do you choose my sweet human?
To be judge and jury to all in your life
And that you meet on your path.

Or to be human.
To be human means to be compassionate.
To self and to others.
To know that we do not know what anothers shoes are like.
What the path they have traveled took them through.
To be human means that you stand as witness not judge.
And to witness another is one of the greatest gifts we can ever offer.
To allow ourselves to be witnessed is the next.

Just yesterday I was working with a dear client of mine. This man has love streaming from every energy fiber he has. And yet he struggles with allowing himself the simple pleasure of recieving that love back.

I left him with the words,
” One day I hope you give me the gift of you allowing yourself to recieve my love.”

Now that statement may instantly bring up assumptions and judgments in you about me.
Or my coaching practice.
What does Kendal do with her clients?
Is she in romantic relations with them.

And you can assume.
You can judge.
And you can cast your head down and keep stubling through your maze.

Be my guest.

What I can tell you is that each day it is revealed and I am reminded of the deep intimacy I hold with these souls that are labled my clients.

They are not my clients.
They are my lovers.
I love each of them deeply.
Men.
Women.
Couples.
The intimacy, vulnerability, rawness and depth that they trust me with is without messure one of the greatest gifts of this life time for me.

And yes….
I love my clients.
I love them for thier willingness to stop bouncing off the walls of thier maze and instead to sit still and let them selves be revealed through the mirrors that are presented on thier path.

I love them for thier courage to catch thier inner judge and jury and fire them daily,
While loving themselves at a more intense level.

I love them for the tender moments that they give grace…
TO THEMSELVES.

I love them for the humor and laughter as they learn how to skip through thier errors and self defeating patterns.

Yes they are my lovers.
And I love them for the blessings that they are.

Now back to that dating thing….
I have dated a few men in my time.
And I have dated many at the same time.
But the men of my current…
The men I choose daily.
These men you may or may never meet…
Some can be captured in picture.
Others in story.

More than one?
Yes in deed.

And does it matter whom they are to you?
Well lets just see if you have been listening.
The judge.
The jury.
They have your answer.

But the mirror will never lie.

As Always My Loves,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

I AM POWERFUL… But I Can’t Do THAT.

I AM POWERFUL.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY WORLD.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.
I AM ALIGNED.
 
BUT….
I can’t do that.
 
Yeah THAT thing that you suggested.
THAT thing that scares me a little, that shakes my soul.
THAT thing that is calling me.
THAT thing that is appealing, that pulls me, but cost money.
THAT thing where I step out of this comfort.
THIS comfort of all that I AM.
THIS comfort that holds me right here, in the NOW.
THIS eternal NOW.
This eternal NOW that I desepratly crave to change,
because it does not feed me.
It does not satsify my soul.
It is NOT me.
And yet, I AM.
 
I AM…
 
I cannot say it.
I will not admit it.
I will avoid it at all cost.
Instead let’s discuss my limitations.
Hear my plea for these beautiful, justifiable limitations.
You see them.
You see my struggle.
You know I am not making these up.
 
Yes these are what rule me.
These are my obstacles.
These are my burdens, my wounds and my chains.
Yes, that is the comfort that I cannot let go of.
That is the comfort that I will argue for.
That is what I CHOOSE for my NOW.
 
BUT…
I can’t do that.
 
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
 
Do you understand?
Do you see my struggle.
Do you feel my soul, my heart.
 
I want so badly to be aligned.
I crave to have the life that I know is for me.
I want to feel my power.
My worthiness.
I want to love myself.
I want to be SEEN.
 
THIS expression of me that I AM right now,
THIS is not me.
And yet, it is.
 
Because I allow it.
Beacause I am use to it.
It is familiar.
It is safe,
even in its misery,
it is still all I know.
And therefore I believe that it is so.
When you tell me that I can be so much more than THIS.
When you look through to my CORE,
and you witness my light and smile,
I want to run and at the same time I want to strip myself further down,
to be fully revealed.
To embrace ALL THAT I AM.
 
And this finite version of me that I am familiar with and allow all to see,
this version it needs to be embraced and expanded.
I do not long to run from this version,
to hide it, or destroy it,
but to encorporate it into all THAT I AM.
 
It’s funny is it not?
But it is already so.
I AM already every piece of what I desire to be.
There is no encorporation to achieve.
But instead all that is required,
all that ever is required,
is to ALLOW.
 
And to KNOW….
THAT I AM POWERFUL.
 
But in order to fully become what I already AM….
I must let go all the practicle defiance of all THAT I AM.
 
And that means I must STOP making excuses.
I must own WHO I AM.
I must FEEL my worthiness without a need to prove anything.
I must step forward and push these false boundaries of time, money and space.
Of health, support and focus.
 
Yes.
I must command my universe to open itself to my expansion.
I must step forward into trusting all THAT I AM.
And NOW…
NOW I KNOW.
 
I must make what is familiar unfamiliar,
and what is unfamiliar familiar.
 
THIS…
THIS is my path.
 
I AM POWERFUL.
NO MORE EXCUSES- JUST ACCEPTANCE.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time for you to say yes to who you really are beautiful. It s time for you to commit to who you are,
to your soul and say YES.
Let’s work together 1:1 to bring you into the next decade of your life, the next year of your life fully embodied and activated.
Message me for deets on 1:1 coaching now.

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

I ask a question of people on my applications to work with me, it goes like this:

Are you willing to invest in your coaching process fully if we decide to work together?

And the options are:

*Yes! Absolutely. I fully understand the power of investing into myself and committing to the process.

* I am unsure as to what I want or my commitment level.
* No, I am just exploring options at this time.

The majority of the people who fill out my application, no matter what their truth may be click on option one.
They proclaim that they understand the power of investing in themselves FULLY and what commitment is.

Funny thing happens though once they are faced with their truth. Or their financial situation. Or their lack of worth. Or their FEAR. This is a big effing one.
They retreat.
They make excuses.
They do everything they can to hide from the f-cking fact that they don’t want it bad enough for themselves.

Now you most likely are thinking,
“That’s not me, Kendal, I want it. I want it more than anything. I am 100% invested in whatever I need to do or make happen to have the life that I desire and know I was born to live. ”

Are you sure?

Because I am willing to wager that you are not as invested or committed to self as you believe that you are.
I am saying this because I see you.
I see you making the statements.
And proclaiming that you want this, and this and this too.
And I see you getting side tracked.
I see life getting in your way.
I see your beautiful,
logical reasons that you are offering up as to why you have not done this or that.
Yeah I see you.
I see how you are short changing yourself.

And here is the real deal beautiful,
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE ALLOWING FOR YOURSELF.

But you will NEVER have it if you do not stop effing around and avoiding the opportunities to have it because you are scared of having it.

You are scared aren’t you?

Its manifesting itself as concern.
Its coming up as worry, and fatigue, and chaos.
And you continue to pretend that everything is okay.
You run along and just keep acting like life is all groovy,
that you got your shiz in order and that you don’t really need the help. But then you say I need help. I don’t understand. I cannot get movement here, this is sucking over here.

You proclaim, “I AM READY FOR A CHANGE.”

And so you call in the opportunity.
And then you cry about the commitment.
You turn your nose up at the investment.
You make an excuse.

You know what matters more to you then your desire,
than your happiness,
than whatever it is that you are claiming you want?

The bottom dollar means more.
The what’s this going to cost me.
You walk into the land of change with the objection of price, and you are under some damn idea that it should be gifted to you and Oh Yeah It should not mean that you have to apply yourself to making the change.

Let’s not forget that.

You want me to do what?
Spend how much time on my inner work?
Commit to what with my partner/spouse?
You want me to actually take action?

Nah, I don’t want it that bad this year.
Maybe next.
When I have made my million dollars then I will revisit this.
When I am stable emotionally, financially, physically then I will explore this.

I don’t have (fill in the blank) right now to do this.

Honey, if this is you I am writing about realize that with that sort of mindset and lack of commitment the thing you are wanting to have happen WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Do you get how miracles happen?
They happen when we expect them too.
When we open ourselves through faith and putting ourselves up to the test. You have to not just step but LEAP if you want a miracle.

Making excuses will never get you this or the life that you want.
Matter a fact, if you want to know how much something of this potency is going to cost you here is the actual answer that you need to digest and sit with:

If you don’t do it – It will cost you YOUR LIFE. Your EVERYTHING.

Because you know what you have been doing,
You know where it has gotten you,
You feel what it feel’s like to be living this way,
and you are hungry.
So if you keep doing what you have always done,
YOU WILL STARVE!

So may people are under the assumption that if you just sit in a certain position,
think great thoughts and breathe a certain way that you never have to actually get off your ass and do something to manifest your dreams and goals.

So many other people, believe that if they just keep doing what they have been doing and work harder, scrimp more and freak out more that they will be successful in time and have the life that they want.

MOFO – NEWSFLASH!

Neither is accurate.
Neither will lead to your greatest, happiest life.

You are out of alignment in both cases,
and you are not taking the action that your SOUL wants you too.

So WTF do you do beautiful?

This is up to YOU!

My suggestion is get REAL.
Get COMMITTED.
Make the MOFO INVESTMENT.
Stop making excuses and continuing to do the same things expecting different results,
this is crazy.

But what do I know?

I don’t know you, and perhaps you don’t know you.
That is most likely the root of your issue beautiful.

And As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching For Grwon A*s Believers

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.