STOP BEING A SLAVE TO YOUR ENERGETIC CONNECTIONS & FEELINGS…

STOP BEING A SLAVE TO YOUR ENERGETIC CONNECTIONS & FEELINGS…

 

Today’s world of woke and consciously aware, has a slew of us hyper focused even more than normal on  our “feelings and energy.”

 

As wonderful as this is in the evolution of humankind, it has it’s down side as well. 

I hear often and have even been guilty all too frequently of saying myself, “ I felt this connection.” – “There is just something there.” – “This ‘feels’ so juicy, good, in alignment.”

 

Quickly follow that statement up with, “I am just going to follow that juicy, good, yum feeling because it must be there for a reason.”

 

Fearful that if one does not follow the feeling, the energetic connection that some loss might happen. That it may be a mistake to not explore those waters, after all an awake, conscious soul feels into things and then acts from there. 

 

Yes, exactly!

 

Feels in and THEN ACTS FROM THERE.

Not, feels in and must follow the feeling into the action of saying yes to the “vibe.”

 

This makes us slaves to such connections. 

It makes us blind to possible outcomes that may not be in our best interest and takes away critical thinking that most certainly has its place to keep us aligned to what we ultimately want in life. 

 

We women are especially guilty of the above. 

We often believe things to be innocent or a sign from the universe or God, that we blindly throw ourselves, our lives, our goals, our boundaries and whatever else in the crossfire with all the best intent of just expanding ourselves, thinking the best of people and following our hearts. 

Now I am the last person to ever say,
Don’t listen to your heart.. 

I believe that the issue often is that we are NOT listening to our heart, to our soul and THAT is what creates these moments of “following the energetic connection” to begin with. We say it must be here for a reason, but how are we to know if it is in true alignment with us if we are so far away from ourselves because of our past inability to state what our needs, desires, wants, boundaries are to begin with? What if we “think” we know ourselves but only keep landing ourselves in a pile of crud because in truth we have no business following such energetic connections because they are actually out of alignment and only feel good because they feel better then what we have in our current lives in whatever category? 

 

I spent this weekend having some deep discussions around this very topic. 

And in my share about my past, many many moons back ( like 22 annual cycles back), when I was in a bad marriage, lost in who I was, but could not see that lostness and did not have the tools to recognize just how out at sea without a paddle I was, I had an affair. The shame of then still resides in me today and comes up every now and then, such as in my conversation this weekend. 

 

Back then, I was attempting to speak my supposed truth. 

I was attempting to say what I needed. 

I was attempting to show my fear and pain. 

I was attempting to ask for my needs and boundaries to be met. 

And I was failing miserably at it. 

In my blindness I was numb to life and to certain “in my face things” that I just brushed off as innocent. And because my husband did not argue with me on the innocence nor stand to fight  for me, I assumed that there was no worry. Blend that with the emptiness and disconnect that had formed from being in a marriage that was not healthy in any fashion and daily stress of motherhood, being broke off my rear, and not feeling safe or loved a space for desire was birthed. And as is always the case, when something is missing for a long enough timeline and it is not recognized, desire calls into it an opportunity to be fed. 

 

In my case…

An affair.

 

For years, I supported myself by saying that I just followed the energy. 

That I did not know how or what to do with the advances. 

That it felt so alive to be acting in that energy of playful flirtiness (and for a long period that is all it was, innocent right?…lol)

I felt like a helpless slave to these feelings. 

These callings that made me FEEL.

Which is what I was craving. 

To feel loved. To feel wanted. To feel supported. To feel cherished. To feel playful. To feel alive!

If I had only recognized that this desire to feel was the root. 

Then maybe I could have been more objective about how to go about feeling alive again and not make the choice to cheat on my husband, but to see that there was a massive void in my marriage and instead to do the work and make the requests that could have either changed the relationship or opened up the reality that the marriage was not healthy and may have served its contract. Therefore instead of creating a space for shame and guilt, trauma on both of us, I could have freed us from the relationship to go on and have healthier ones with more aligned souls then we were for each other. 

 

But I was blind to my own unalignment to self. 

Therefore a slave to what I believed was a feeling or energetic connection guiding me toward something better.

 

Granted I do not condemn self or others for falling prey to our blindness. 

All decisions somehow in the end lead us to growth and coming home to self IF WE ALLOW them too and wake up and do our own inner work. However that is what is required, waking up and choosing to see that just because we have a whim, a feeling, a supposed connection, crap even if we get struck by lightning to at very least pause and ask ourselves, “How does this action of following this feeling, energetic connection or vibe support my long term happiness, goals, relationship?”

 

Does it align with what I truly desire and who I want to be?

 

If I had slowed down back then to ask myself this I would have known even in my numbness, my desire to feel alive and loved, my blindness and belief that it was there for my best good that the choice that was about to make had lifelong implications and although it may carry its moment of beauty and lessons, they came with a price that I work to repay for the rest of my years. Not to my then husband or even to God, but to myself. 

 

I created more work for myself by pretending to be a slave to my feelings and a victim to the energy and desire then what was needed for me and I turned a corner with that one action, that one false yes that carried with it a ripple impact of decisions to come. 

 

And so, I ask you today…

Man or woman…

Where are you allowing yourself to be a victim, a slave to the “woke concept of following your feeling and the energy at all cost and what price are you willing to pay for continuing to be blind to you and what your true alignment to soul is saying?”

 

As Always, 

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers

 

Helping dynamite powerful souls like yourself discover love and fulfilment is what my passion is. Over the last two decades I have worked with hundreds of women & men such as yourself to call in their soulmate by aligning to their truth. I have guided countless couples not to just rekindle a love that they thought was lost, but to create an empowered turned on and fully aligned partnership based in love with 8 simple steps. If you are a woman or man who is looking for happiness, love and abundance in life and is sick and tired of just getting by, reach out to me for a FREE Clarity Call today where we will define exactly what is holding you back, what you are wanting to call in and the next best steps to achieve your desired life. Message me to set up your FREE Clarity Call today.

Photo Credit To Dande Lion Images, Plano Texas.

 

 

It’s Time to STOP Effing Around and Listen to SOUL.

DCIM100SPORT
If you really wanted it then you would have it wouldn’t you?
 
And it feels like you are wanting it.
It feels like you are operating from your core.
It feels like you should just be living that life that you feel so called to live,
and yet you are not.
 
How can it be so?
Why is it that you just keep tackling problem after problem and not seeming to make way to what you really want for your life?
 
It’s because you are not ready beautiful.
You simply are not yet ready.
 
But you could be ready,
if you really wanted to that is.
 
The only challenge with being ready is YOU.
 
??????????
 
Yeah YOU are your challenge.
 
You have to….
 
1. Make a effing decision to be ready.
2. Stop stopping yourself from being ready with all your petty little reasons and fears.
3. Stop thinking you will have the germination time that you have deemed for yourself.
4. Allow yourself to receive the opportunities that will lead you to what you want.
 
 
This all means that you need to start listening beautiful.
 
But to whom?
 
Well sure as f-ck not to everyone who has not walked in yours shoes.
 
And not those who are less successful than yourself.
And not to your fear.
Or your doubts or any of those negative thoughts that you are thinking.
 
 
No.
 
Don’t listen to that shiz!
 
 
Do Listen to YOUR SOUL.
 
If you have not a clue or maybe just a faint clue as to what I am speaking of when I say SOUL…
 
It’s that quiet little voice.
It’s that nagging at your core.
It’s that desire,
that hunger that will not leave you.
It’s that knowing that points out the opportunities, the synchronicity and coincidences.
It’s the reactions that your body and emotions are trying to make you more aware of.
 
 
This is SOUL.
 
Your SOUL.
 
And if you want to have that THING,
That thing that you have been wanting for so long.
That lifestyle that your heart craves for yourself,
for your children,
your family,
your people.
 
Well that THING, wants you to pay attention to what will lead you to it.
 
Your SOUL.
 
It’s the path of least resistance beautiful.
Its the path that will feed you,
fulfill you, and bring you joy.
 
But you have to WANT IT.
 
And in your wanting of it you will be asked to focus on it.
You be required to do the inner mindset and emotional harmonizing work that you need to do.
You be required to make yourself available for what you are wanting.
And if you are not doing this,
then you will not have it until you do these things.
 
Until you are ready.
No matter how much you b*tch, moan and complain,
no matter how much suffering you choose to go through,
you will not get access to your dreamed life UNTIL you are READY.
 
And to be ready, you must show up.
You must open up.
You must be available and take advantage of the opportunities that show themselves to you and ask for your commitment.
 
Because if your SOUL tells you to take on that commitment,
that opportunity,
then that is YOUR SOUL guiding you to your highest and best.
That is your soul leading you on your path to your truth.
To your best life.
 
The question only comes down to the question of,
 
WILL YOU LISTEN TO SOUL?
 
Or will you continue to ignore?
 
You know what ignoring or half a*s listening has gotten you so far….
 
Why not try something new?
 
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

It’s F*cking Hard to Surrender.

It’s f*cking hard to surrender. And that’s exactly the problem that we all have.

We want the orgasm.

We want the connection.

We want the effing firework’s.

But we won’t just allow surrender to over take us and just blow our f*cking mind.

You know it’s true!

If your like many people, just reading the word surrender had you go into some sort of convulsions and excuses in your body. Maybe you said, ” I surrender all the time. I know how to go with the flow and just be.” Or maybe you felt some constriction in your chest, back or stomach. Maybe, just maybe you simply shook your head and said, “yep! that’s right, surrender is f*cking hard.”  No matter what your response was as you read the title to this musing, you know its right.

Surrender is f*cking hard.

Why?

Because it’s scary as shit, that’s why.

Let me share a small tale with you and sorta tattle on myself in the process.

In recent month’s I have been struggling with surrender. I know how to and I can do it damn good and pleasurably as well too. I fully understand the blessings that I will reap if I just let go and surrender however, since about last July I have been stuck in what one may call a holding pattern. Just trying to maintain my energy, my emotions, and carry on as things sort themselves out. The issue with this holding pattern that quickly became a habit was that it had me locking down all my emotions and feeling. It had me restricting myself from fully embracing life in all ways.

You see when we restrict ourselves from surrendering to life and living faith based, even if it appears that we are only doing so in this aspect of our life and not over there or there, we are in fact limiting the supply of blessings and preventing the fullness of our dynamic ability to connect to God.  You don’t get to say, ” I am not going to feel that, but I will feel this fully.” No, the universe does not operate like that. If you want to experience the highs of life and all the joy, bliss and beauty, then you have to be willing to experience and learn from the contrasting feelings and emotions that life offers up as well.

After all you and I are not here for life results. We are here for life experience.

You don’t get to take all the shit you gather up here with you. You get to take with you the emotion, the memory, and the experience of this life.

That’s it.

Your fancy car’s, houses and wardrobe won’t do you a damn bit of good in the after life. Neither will being the most responsible, dutiful citizen. Sure these are all wonderful things, and certainly make life more enjoyable and pleasant, but the reality is that ultimately THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU ARE HERE FOR!

You are here to learn to connect.

Yes that is what you are here for. What I am here for and everyone else.

It is that simple.

No matter what your faith or religion is, the truth is still the same.

Connection is ALL THAT MATTERS.

Think about it. What are we searching for when we are “looking for God,” or sitting in silence to pray or meditate? What are we wanting when we read scripture and ask for guidance from God?

Connection.

Connection to God.

Connection to something greater than self.

Connection to ourselves.

Connection to others.

Without connection, no other goal matters, because if we are not leaning in and surrendering to God’s love and direction by becoming the witness within ourselves and embracing our own love for self as well as the love that is given FREELY by God/Universe then we can NEVER achieve any of our dreams, goals or desires long term.

We may get a taste of them for a fleeting moment but without the full embrace of our worthiness of receiving them and this means SURRENDERING to what our spirit knows at its core and living from our truth instead of this fictitious mask that we all love to try and play some role in, then we will never truly be blessed with all that is stored up in heaven for us and is right here waiting to be enjoyed in this lifetime.

Yet, here we are still arguing in so many ways about why we cannot or should not surrender.

Maybe it’s trust issues.

Maybe it’s a belief that you cannot have what you are desiring.

Maybe you are fearful of being abandoned by whomever or even God if you just get the f*ck out of your head and allow yourself to drop down into your body.

Maybe you are scared you will be too much, show to much or even that you may enjoy it to much.

Who the effing cares what the reason is that you are choosing NOT to surrender to your greatest and highest orgasmic life, the fact is that I am willing to wager that you are NOT!

Unless you can sit there and say, “Kendal, my life is so amazing, I cannot imagine anything being better. I have all my life in perfect order, I am living on purpose and am a total F*ck YES! to every day.  I have all the abundance and well-being that I could ever desire.” And here is the kicker to that statement, you may say, yeah Kendal, that’s right and I am damn good at surrender.

Well, what does you life picture show?

Is that true?

What would your spouse, lover, friend, or family say?

No?

I admitted a bit ago that I have been having surrender issues since back in July.  The rest of the story is pretty simple.

There was this boy and this girl and they were fiercely in love, until one day when one of them was not. That day the world came to a STOP for the girl and her surrender give a shit button BROKE. Try as hard as she might to recover it from the damage that it under took, she found herself running from the pain her heart felt and the anger it held.  She shut that shit down, because it was not good or productive and she focused in on the blessings in her life. She focused in on what she could CONTROL and dedicated herself to family and career.

Month’s passed and the girl tried repeatedly to pull that band aid off her bleeding heart and just surrender to life again and have faith that things would get better. That it was okay for her to open herself up and feel connection to someone again other than her family. Day after day, she tried everything possible, but always came back with the same result, a meh experience.

Almost hopeless, she decided that she had no choice but to just allow and see what would happen. Because in all of her trying she was actually pushing herself away from the thing that she desired so much. Her focus and dedication to “make it happen,” was creating resistance to surrender and preventing her from enjoying the rapture of connection, joy, and orgasm that was being presented to her repeatedly.

But then it happened!

Just like that, she had broken to a point where she no longer had the strength to hold the resistance and try and force something to happen.

There she lay, under her new lovers body, his focus completely present with her. Penetrating her not just to fantastic physical levels of depth, but as well to her heart and soul. Stroke after stroke, he lead her to go deeper inside herself where she had no choice but to meet up with her heart and just experience what it had to offer in this orgasmic surrender. The physical feelings were lovely and deep, but the emotional sensation brought tears to her eyes and as she found herself trying to hold them back, she could now feel her own resistance to her surrender heavy on her chest and tight in her pussy.

Here was the threshold that no one could carry her across but herself.  Here, she had to make a choice and either stand strong in her resistance to receive or open and surrender her physical body more so that her emotional, mental and spiritual bodies could be penetrated and carried to the alter of God once again.

Her choice was a most delicious one.

A life altering one.

She chose to go deeper.

She chose to lean into love.

Lean into her orgasm, her abundance, her radiance.

She chose to STOP Surviving & Start Living.

What will you choose?