YOUR INTIMACY AND CONNECTION IS LESSENED BECAUSE YOU NEGLECT PLAY…

YOUR INTIMACY AND CONNECTION IS LESSENED BECAUSE YOU NEGLECT PLAY…
There I said it!
One of the major contributing factors to your shitty relationship with your significant other is the fact that you forgot to play.
You have made light of our need as humans to laugh, to enjoy life and to be light in spirit.
Instead you have turned your relationship into something of responsibility, duty, and “adulting.”
And that is what you deem mature.
Healthy even.
However, nothing could be further from the truth.
Intimacy, vulnerability, connection and even trust is supported through play.
Finding the humor in our life, relationship and small moments where we put focus on just those things that make us smile and laugh.
So often I work with couples who say that they are married to their best friend. They speak of days when they felt utterly connected to their partner and they wonder what changed. Then they share about life and how life just sorta took over and they had to “grow up,” they had to get real and be responsible because they had a baby, they bought a house and had more debt so life became about duty and taking care of business.
Life got stressful.
And with the stress the play went away.
They stopped courting each other.
Stopped dating and enjoying adventures.
And the relationship along with the sex and intimacy got drab and boring.
Well no shit Sherlock!
You take the laughter out of relationships and you lose a vital nutrient to connection and intimacy.
You also decrease polarity between the masculine and the feminine and the juicy primal energy that creates desire.
Now let me clear here with you.
Some of you may be thinking that I am referring to sexual play.
That I am reffering to BDSM, or some format of adventure sex or exploring non-traditional relationships even, and sure any of this can fall under play and is fine and dandy for a healthy relationship when both parties desire the same, however THIS is not what I am speaking of at all.
When I say PLAY I am actually referring to childlike play and/or healthy competition.
I am speaking of humor, laughter.
An ability to laugh at ourselves and even joke.
An ability to go past our ego and dare I say GOOFY.
Yes this is what I mean.
Adult play is not always of the sexual nature,
although even the most innocent of play and competition can and will create a primal hunger for each other and expand our sexual connection.
When we tap into our playful primal nature we get more turned on to our partner and to life.
Laughter, movement, the engaged actions of play help to move emotion and energy in our physical bodies as well as help restore a more sound mental state.
Science has proven that those individuals who create space for play, who step outside of the comfort zones of what they deem normal and push themselves to explore deeper aspects of self have healthy mental and emotional states of being.
It is well documented how healthy laughter is for our moods and clarity, even our immune systems.
Smiling triggers certain receptors in the brain that can change a person’s perspective of a moment and significantly help us to feel more positive in life in general.
So if this is all proven then why do we choose to diminish its value in our primary relationships. In our sex. In our intimacy building?
How is it that we cannot see the importance of play in general and laughter in our intimate lives? To help maintain a healthy happy connection?
The majority of women when polled,
“What is a characteristic that you value in a partner?”
Will say, ” Someone who can make me laugh.”
At our core we understand the value,
but as relationships develop and life happens we get forgetful and we stop applying the focus needed to sustain a healthy connected and turned on relationship.
Play being one of the primary gifts of intimate relationships that we turn away from with such ease.
I ask you today to look at your primary relationship.
And if you currently do not have one, I ask that you look at the last relationship(s) that you have had and really explore this vital nutrient.
How are you at play?
What does play mean to you?
What do you find uncomfortable about play?
Doing the inquiry here with self and then discussing what you can do that might be adventurous or playful with your partner can help to re-establish connection, intimacy and desire in your love life and in the bedroom.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
❤ Another Valentine’s day Is Upon Us… ❤
And some ladies in the house are ALONE.
Well no Queen is ever alone in spirit, because we effing love ourselves,
right ladies?
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emotionally intelligent,
spiritually sound,
committed,
passionate,
makes us laugh,
and when he looks at us has us melt.
Yeah that guy.
Well to all you single queens in the house,
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7 Tips to Extra Steamy Blindfold Sex

50shades1

There I stood before the door. It was closed and I had no idea what possibly could be awaiting me on the other side. My lover looking me in the eye while he asked, “Are you ready?” Yes I nodded as my stomach clenched a tad. Even with all my trust and love in this man I still found my heart beat pattering a bit faster then normal and my palms sweating.

He opened the door and all I could see was a beautiful space that he had prepared. Our Sacred Space Mat was on the floor, candles lit, flowers adorned the room. There was a small box that sat to the side that had something in it but I could not tell what it was from where I was standing. Leaning down he picked up a glass of wine that he had poured and offered it o me. As I sipped it he reached into the box and pulled out a blindfold. Turning to me, he asked permission to put it on me.

Yes, of course I answered.

Softly he placed it around my head and made sure that my eyes could see no light. Taking the wine from my hand he gently kissed me and asked me to put my hands behind my back.

I could hear the cling of the chains as he pulled them from the box. My heart pounded a bit faster now and my pussy throbbed in anticipation of what this adventure play would result in.
These were not just any chains, these were specially crafted hand cuffs with soft plush fur to wrap around the wrists attached to chains that could be connected to a bed post or each other as restraints.

Making sure that my hands were properly secured behind me, he placed a strawberry in my mouth and kissed my lips while teasing my breasts with his fingers. Taking his kisses softly and slowly down my neck, over my shoulder and onto my back he now encouraged me to go down on my knees before him. I hoped that my mouth would soon be greeted with his divine manhood so that I could suckle at him for a bit but without any warning his gentle touch twisted into a firmly controlled handle on my flesh as he bent me over onto a pillow, moved my legs apart and pulled on the chains as he attached them to some stationary item.

Feeling completely vulnerable in this position I found myself having moments of thought that made me question what I was doing, how strong my trust was and if this was even pleasurable. But all my questioning quickly ended as my focus was drawn to my clit and vulva where his fingers danced. Stroking me softly then more firmly I quickly found my body yearning to be fucked. My pussy throbbing, getting wetter, its muscles quaking at the hope, the desire of his entry. As if he knew what I wanted without words spoken he pressed his other hands fingers into my pussy while never missing a stroke of my clit. Unlike many times before in his finger fucking of me, he did not start with 1 or 2 fingers, here he just plunged all four into my wetness. His thrusts were dominant and strong and I could sense that he wanted to give me more of his hand and his fingers searched withing my cavern until they found the prize of my G-spot. Now he massaged on it, while stimulating my sponge and my clit all in harmony. My wetness grew intense until he could no long withstand taking me more fully. Before a second had passed, his hard cock was now in my pussy, his one hand pulling on my tied arms and the other in my hair pulling my head back with each thrust. My body quaked and quivered as he mounted me with more speed and greater depth. I felt as though I was a great gully once void of sensation and now in this intoxication through sexing I was nothing but sensation. Sensation that hungered for more….

More depth.
More speed.
More pulling.
More quaking.
More lovers entering me in this moment.
More taste.
More smell.
More pleasure.
More pain.
More Orgasm.

Here at the cusp of orgasm I rode sensation. Discovering bliss in the teasing of my throbbing pussy as it wrapped tighter around his cock.

But as all good things seem to go, just as I was feeling like I was going to toddle over and fully be enveloped into a sea of orgasm, my lover pulled away from me. I must have moaned in distaste because he came up to my ear, breathing hard and asked, “Do you want more?”

Yes.

He tapped my pussy with his hand as if to spank it. Chills ran across my flesh.
His fingers once more danced on my clit and massaged my vulva. Now his lips and tongue took the place of his cock. So soft, delicate and arousing his sucking was. I found myself wanting to press into his face as if to be swallowed up or to have my pussy swallow him. Alas, this was just a game to entry for what was to come.

Four fingers thrust back and forth then a thumb making its way. Before long his whole fist had entered me. Such fullness, such rapture awaited. I could feel him behind me still on his knees as he pulled me back and forth with the chains. There I rock, thrusting softly, gently and firmly on his fist until my whole body shook and melted into sweet orgasm.

———————————————-

What made this sex play more powerful then any other time? A multitude of things. All items focused on my surrender to my lover and to myself. Granted many couple’s do not want to jump into the deep end and explore fist fucking or bondage in an extreme, but many are willing to play with a blindfold.

This is a perfect place to start and a wonderful item to keep handy in your sexing. A blindfold can increase sexual tension and magnify arousal; because when one of your senses is lost all of the other senses become heightened to compensate. Blindfolds are also a great way of showing trust and vulnerability with a partner. Anytime we agree to be blindfolded we are agreeing to give our safety, our bodies, our surrender over to our partner. And this is not a position to be taken lightly. The one handed this gift is handed great responsibility and must know that here in your hands is the heart of someone’s sexuality, empowerment, soul and trust not only in you but in life. So NEVER abuse this gift! And ALWAYS listen to your partners wants, safe words and body language.

Blindfold Play a Simple Way to Take Average Sexing to Gourmet

Food Play – Blindfold and feed each other yummy morsels such as strawberries, wine, chocolate, honey, etc.

Sensation Play – Undress your blindfolded partner and then begin to caress his/her hands, ears, breasts, legs, back, face, etc. Experiment with different touches. Try using your finger nails, gentle slaps, use feathers, a satin sheet. Be creative in your play and see what you have around the house that could really bring more sensation into your play.

Lip Play– Trace your lovers lips with your fingers while they are blindfolded. Then kiss them. Use your tongue to trace patterns around their breasts, vagina, penis. Tease their lower back with kisses and licks. Tickle his testicles while you gently scratch with your nails in a downward motion from his butt to his feet.

Temperature Play – Try sipping on warm tea or water and then suckling at your blindfolded partners nipples or genitals. Use ice to trace designs on their back, stomach or perform oral sex on them while you change temperature using warm tea and ice in your mouth.

Get Knotty in Your Play– Tie your blindfolded partner up (with their permission). Use ropes, chains, scarfs, etc.

Ask for Your Desire Play – Ask your blindfolded partner a question. Such as where do you want me to kiss you? Or what do you want me to do once I have you tied up? Or ask them to share a desire/fantasy.

Reward and Punishment Play – Tell your blindfolded partner to kiss, lick, nibble, suck on your pussy/cock, lips, nipples etc. or tell them to masturbate for you or to open up their legs, mouth etc for you. If they are good and do what they are asked then they get a reward (a kiss, a suck or lick of what they want, touched a certain way, or a sip of wine, etc.) if they are bad and won’t do what was asked then they a spanking (with your hand, a paddle, flogger, feathers, whip, etc).

And above all else remember that experimentation with blindfolds can be spontaneous. Make use of whatever you have around the house or with you to adequately cover your partners eyes.

Now go get blinded by gourmet sex!!!!