It is said that you only lose your virginity once, however I disagree. I seem to constantly be loosing my virginity as I learn how to trust deeper, open wider, surrender more and experience greater orgasmic bliss. Being virginal to me has become a true box of chocolate and with each new piece of decant smooth candy I devour, I discover a realm of ecstasy. Holding on to this box of chocolate and refusing to sample each piece would be in my opinion a great regret at the end of my days on this earth. To fear losing my virginity because of the taboo’s or societal pressure that are placed on us seems ridiculous especially after one savors the luscious bliss that most often is accompanied with such adventures.
It has been a few years now since I lost my virginity to vaginal fisting, in all honesty when the event took place I could hardly believe what was happening. My mind rattled with fear, my ego stomped around and told me how this was going to cause me physical harm, make my pussy loose, and above all else was not going to be fun or pleasurable. Certainly allowing this to happen was not a good idea. Of course my perception of fist fucking all came from the little bit of porn that I had watched and what stuck with me was the looks of pain and terror on the women’s faces as these large fisted men would slam their whole hands into their vaginas and then rigorously pump back and forth in a punching manner. It seemed like the more the woman tensed up and appeared hurting the strong and more aggressive the fister would become with their movements. As amazing as it was that a human body could engulf a whole hand and even the jerking and pounding of it internally it certainly did not seem like an act of love, sensualness, intimacy and passion, and certainly not one that would bring about a real orgasm.
But then one early evening this belief was washed away by my lover’s fist and my deep orgasmic bliss.
“Entering the house I knew that something was up. I was unsure as to what, all I knew was that my lover wanted to provide me with a little TLC and a Tantric Session of his creation. As I walked into the room, there before me lay a cushiony bed covered in rose petals, candle lit, a glass of wine and coconut oil warmed. He kissed me gently on the lips, ran his hand through my hair, as a slight tingle went down my spine and my womb and pussy began to hunger for penetration. I wanted to surrender to the session he had planned out for me but also craved more. Slowly he removed my garments, caressing my body with his fingers as he did so, then asked me to lay down on the bed he had prepared. There I lay, naked, revealed, excited, nervous, and a little insecure. He pressed his lips to mine again, and dripped warm oil on my flesh. Gently his hands washed over me, releasing tension I was not even aware I had. Softly he kissed my skin, moving down my neck, across my breasts only to stop for a moment and tease gently my nipples with his tongue. Gently sucking at them until I released a mild moan of delight, only then to carry himself downward, hands and mouth, crossing over my stomach to my pelvic bone. Teasing my inner thighs now, he kissed and massaged, fingers working their way into my velvety warm parlors, lips and tongue pressing into my clit, sucking hungrily for a mini eruption of my bliss to get things really started. My hips wanting to tense, but I relaxed and opened my legs more for him. As he lingered in his oral pleasuring my pussy called out for more of him, in my mind I tossed about the idea of asking him to come into me full force with his hard erection I was certain he had by this time but my tantric teaching taught me to restrict and enjoy just receiving without expectation or demand. To simply remain present with his touch and the sensations that it arose in my being. _
Holding Sacred Space and building trust with me, he asked permission to enter me with a finger, granting it I already knew I wanted was another. Without a word my hunger was fed, he massaged deeper and deeper into me, opening me up, rubbing now on my G-Spot while continuing the clitoral massage he was already giving. I could not help myself, I found myself wanting more and spread myself wider for him, asking with my body for him to penetrate me more fully. I could feel a third finger press itself into my warmth and then a forth. I took a breath. Pressure accumulated at my introidus, I could feel the hunger of my pussy taking over, and I wanted to eat him with her sucking muscles. It was in this moment that I lost my virginity, his thumb moved into me. His whole hand now was pressing into me like the thickest cock I had ever experienced. He paused to let me catch up to what was happening. My mind was lost in a sea of feelings and emotions. _
‘What was happening? Was it okay, safe? Did he know what he was doing? What was to come next?”
Oh, fuck it! Was my only answer. It felt divine. The pressure that was building even though at first a tad uncomfortable I discovered was dwindling and was being replaced with increased sensations deep in my core. I could feel his every movement, the pulse of my own heartbeat seemed to now be strong and speaking loudly for what it desired. I could feel him tighten his clench and then loosen again, then twist gently and open. Fingers now all inside me, dancing with pressure on my G-spot, touching my cervix, and finally when I could no longer bare the teasing began to slowly thrust in me. His rhythm moving with my breath, with my muscle contractions. I knew he could feel me like no other time before, I felt so closely connected to him, we had merged in this moment and my back arched, my breath released in a long intense moan as my hips widened and my pussy clenched down tightly on his fist while my whole body moved to press down begging him to penetrate me deeper, deeper and yet deeper. I wanted to feel him touch my heart and clench my soul as my body quivered and convulsed in the most powerful, enlightening bliss that I never could have believed would be possible.”
Thank heavens for the loss of virginity. When I revel in the memory of my first time a slight smile crosses my lips and my heart expands while my pussy connects to the moment and gets wetter with the remnant sensations. Of course I find myself wanting to play with his fist again right then in the moment and perhaps exploring some more virginity losses with some fantasy play that now lingers in my mind, soul and sex. Oh the things we could do and the enjoyment we could have with such a delight as vaginal fist fucking….
And to imagine that all this was possibly the best sexing and most intimate fucking I had ever had all the while it was nothing like what I expected or what was shown in porn. This was not an act of him having power over me and being a forceful taker of my body and sex, it was about him penetrating me so vastly and fully that we became one in love. Empowering each other with each heart beat and orgasmic rapture. This was indeed a sacred moment. A Sacred Fist Fuck!
–KW